Military Police

>>30238059
Its mostly guard shit, not very fun from what I've seen

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Ex-MP here, ask me anythin.

>>30238183
Any decent stories you can tell?

>>30238183
Why are all of you such huge faggots?

>>30238183
Why are you posting your personal Beretta?

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>>30238211
Yeah sure

>Be on gate duty friday night
>Hot as balls due to Southern base
>Scanning cards
>Saluting officers while calling them brown nosers under my breath
>Yellow ford fusion pulls up just chock full of privates
>Urgh.jpg
>Shuffling through ids and booping them when i hear a muffled cough from their trunk
>Look at the driver and hes just deer in the headlights, staring straight ahead
>Im sure it was nothing
>Boop two more IDs when i hear a muffled curse and something thumps the trunk lid from inside
>Lower cards
>Stare at the driver
>Literally drilling holes into the side of his head until he turns to look at me
>"Aaayyyeeee S-Specialist..."
>Pop the trunk private
>trunk pops open and I walk around to see three cuddling forms in bar clothes
>Oh and did I mention they were privates who werent allowed off base?
>Call it in
>Absolute circus shows up
>their entire first line shows up
>Their CO shows up
>Their FIRST SERGEANT shows up
>Booping IDs while watching this entire car get smoked/yelled at/torn up
>Zero fucks given
>Lady pulls up to view this spectacular example of military discipline
>"Officer whats going on here?!"
>Its Friday, Have a good day Ma'm, Welcome to Fort Polk

>>30238227
A lot of MPs are kids fresh out of highschool. If you see an MP with a sham shield or stripes, youre fine. If you see a single stripe or a PFC rank, god help you. I myself always handed out 1408 non monetary tickets or you just a lipping and told to stop being a window licker

>>30238059
You can't spell wimp without the mp.

>>30238059
All the MPs did where I served was babysit drunk conscripts when they were misbehaving.

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>>30238059
I was once a DMZ MP

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>>30238059
It varies. In the Navy, they're called MAs. They are not widely loved, particularly those who place strict compliance with regulation above mission accomplishment. For example, handing out "speeding tickets" to random mechanics in the passageways when the ship is underway in the Persian Gulf, because their boots are not shined. Any mechanic whose day to day work boots are in inspection ready conditions is simply not pulling his weight.

>>30238516

dad?

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>>30238569
>For example, handing out "speeding tickets" to random mechanics in the passageways when the ship is underway in the Persian Gulf, because their boots are not shined. Any mechanic whose day to day work boots are in inspection ready conditions is simply not pulling his weight.

Not even us MPs were that bad

>>30238183
lol that beretta is far too new to be issued

>>30238586
Don't blame the MPs, blame their superiors.

>>30238593
>EX-Military Police
>Posts my personal 92fs
>LEL 2 NU 4 U

You dont say.

>>30238610
Someone's mad now, ohhhh watch out

>>30238584
Probably. Do you speak Hangul?

I railed nearly 40 women in 18 months.

MPs are mostly cunts who think they're important because they can give stupid ass tickets to people who have no recourse. Give a retard any amount of power and they'll abuse it. Usually the NCOs were a little bit better.

The field MPs were ok, but they also thought they were infantry and walk around calling every one POGs even though they only deployed for 30 days to the Africa mission or something other gay shit.

They are the party poopers.

>>30238630

:^)

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>>30238059
Got a security forces story for ya. 99% of the time they guard the gate and pull over speeders. Sometimes they get to do stuff like this tho.

>Live in on-base dorms
>Saturday morning
>Sleeping like a baby
>Mild ruckus is heard
>Give no fucks, Im tired
>It gets louder and closer
>Cop knock on my door
>3 years of dorm life has given me cop knock PTSD
>Im instantly awake. Someone is yelling something through my door.
>Put on pants and open door to see a Security Forces SSgt 3 doors down beating the shit out of the door.
>Looks at me and yells "GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE BUILDING!!!!"
>I can tell this is gonna take a while so I put on a shirt and book it out to the parking lot across the street they are herding all the dorm residents into.
>About 10 minutes later Security Forces feel like the building is empty now and come explain what the hell is going on to us
>Apparently someone found a Commissary plastic bag taped to someones door with something inside and a note that read "You got me good last time, but I got you back with an IED".
>Not a single person, including the Security Forces, thinks that its a real bomb, but they literally MUST call EOD if no one fesses up right away
>They elaborate and say if no one fesses up, EOD will come out, the Security Forces Commander will have to be woken up and he will personally interrogate each dorm member until they figure out who did it
>Still no one fesses up
>The 100 dorm residents are walked to the Security Forces office and we are cramped as shit in their main lobby.
>The Security Forces Commander starts calling people into his office 1 by 1 and talking with them.
>About half an hour later, someone finally admits they did some real dumb shit and we can all go home. Since it took so long, EOD had already determined it wasn't a bomb.

>>30238659

Fake. No SF commander is going to waste time doing interrogations when that is the job of SF investigations or OSI. SF commanders are too busy pushing papers to do an enlisted person's job.

AFSF here. Writing tickets then parking the patrol car to watch people collect their ticket is pretty inspiring work. Bonus points when it's an officer or senior NCO and you give them a ticket for the stupidest shit you can imagine.

>>30238743

What is your high count for 1408s issued in a single shift? I'm sitting at 18.

Also to young cops, if you haven't retrained to CATM or K9, you wasted a major opportunity.

>>30238739
Its what they told us man. The guy fessed up before I was called in, so I never saw the guys rank. Its entirely possible it wasn't their commander.

>>30238381
>posts best waifu
Legit.

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>>30238743
Nah. Ticketing a Colonels wife for speeding in a school zone. With expired tags. While talking on the phone.
>mfw im getting yelled at by his wife while my partner is writing 7 tickets and nit picking shit

>>30238754
I'm at 16, you got me beat by two.

>>30238756

Sure, a light bird or major that has to meet with the Group and Wing leadership everyday to discuss base defense,LE,deployment tempos, base weapon qualifications and do the job of every officer in a normal unit with may be an 03 to help him is going to waste time talking to 100 A1Cs and Senior Airmen regarding a prank in the dorms.

>>30238778

First term Airmen or career? Base if you don't mind me asking?

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>>30238771
Ryoko and Revy are my two loves

>>30238593
>>30238623
You cant be older than 14, and if you are you must be very unaware of what a fucking MP does.

>>30238795
First term Airman haven't decided if i'm going to reenlist. WPAFB.

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>>30238838
Hush hush, leave the wee baby be

>>30238852

Go CATM if you like guns and want to stay in. It's the best job you can get as in enlisted in the Air Force. The school is a joke, but you teach, fix and live guns.

>>30238795
Did 4 years of Intel at Barksdale and got out. It was a fun job that I liked a lot. I always tell people I was a good analyst and a horrible Airman. Trying to find a contractor job in the same field with only 4 years is tough as shit tho.

>>30238516

you ever give a Nork the finger?

>>30238569
>handing out "speeding tickets" to random mechanics in the passageways

on the fucking vessel? holy shit I nearly was going to sign up for the Navy

>>30239247
Almost like any branch of any military is death by a thousand cuts of powerpoints, petty regulations and your superiors wasting your time to justify their positions.

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>>30239244
We toyed with them relentlessly. We splattered chem light fluid on ourselves and ran around the guard post like an event just happened.

GP Oulette

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>>30239293

>>30239293

my fucking sides, you did God's work down there anon

>>30238381
>narc asshole detected

>>30238917
>only 4 years

Fuck man, I'm a 1N0 for an RPA unit. Not a lot of prospects for me afterwards

Don't worry guys, with the new PRP for security forces yall niggas coming to Northern Tier. Try bitching about back problems to get outa Minot now fuckers.

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>>30238059
This is my Dad, on the left.
International MP force, 1950s
1 each American, Brit, French, and a Russian drove around Vienna in Dodge 4 doors breaking up bar fights and smuggling rings.
Many more pics.

>>30240485
>1 each American, Brit, French, and a Russian drove around Vienna in Dodge 4 doors breaking up bar fights and smuggling rings.
Man that sounds great.

>>30240485
>1 each American, Brit, French, and a Russian drove around Vienna in Dodge 4 doors breaking up bar fights and smuggling rings.


Sounds like a good TV show

Naval MP here (MA NCO). Primarily worked harbor security but also did a little landslide patrol from tine to time. Have a few stories if anyone's interested. Willing to answer some questions to.

>>30240517
The locals had hidden their valuables in the city catacombs (sewers) towards the end of the war when it was clear that they would be occupied.
Joes, Nigels, Jules, and Ivans would go spelunking for silverware, then steal each other blind in the barracks.
Like Germany in the 80s, everyone had a scam or a side business going, and there were still some "werewolves" and commie agitators trying to bomb stuff.
He said that beyond all the brass and other BS, their continued presence prevented another Berlin Wall situation. The Russians tried to rotate their guys out fast before they could learn too much about the West, but they wanted to sell hot ration cards as much as the next guy.
Apparently, what really won the Cold War was booze, nylons, condoms, smokes, and beef.

>>30238630
>speak
>hangul