ATF raid you've got less than 5 minutes to prepare what do /k/

>>29823841
>unleash first wave of dogs and babies in tacticribs
>ATF empties their mags into the dogs and throw every flashbang grenades at the tacticribs.
>the casualties are high but I expected this.
>my body is ready.
>I come out with glocknades and yell Allah akbar
>blow the house up with no survivors
>Satan brofist me for a job well done while we fuck demon bitches.
>everythingwentbetterrhanexpected.wav

>>29823841
Put my dog in the basement,

Cover the living room floor in shoe strings

put up posters of conversations i've had with friends on facebook that look slightly incriminating in regards to me making an SBR.

Those 3 things should buy me enough time to run outside, grab sks and go innawoods

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Bury my hard drive so they don't seize my dank ass /k/ memes

>>29823841
D-does that have 2 stocks?

>>29823841
Grab mosin, mount bayonet, strip down and cover myself in woad.

>>29823919
Yes

>>29823841
keep driving

>>29823919
>Gee Bill

>shoot all my dogs and pregnant women, flashbang all my babies
>start filling out paperwork at https://www.atf.gov/careers

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>>29823875
Kek

>>29823841
But I'm at the office now. They'd be raiding an empty house.

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>>29823901
This.

>>29823841
Tell them I don't have alcohol, tobacco, or firearms

>>29823841
Leave a couple shitty guns behind, stuff my laptop and some ammo in my backpack, take the only three guns I give a shit about (I own five) with me into the mountains. If I walk for five continuous minutes from my front door I am deep innawoods already.

Boating

accident

>>29823875
>fuck demon bitches
i think you've got that reversed.

>Strip naked.
>Coat myself in olive oil.
>Strap several pony plushes to my body.
>Wait on the porch with a nugget and an erection as they arrive.
>The ATF see that I own a cat.
>Apologize for the inconvenience and shoot the neighbors dog before they leave.

>>29823985
Kek

>>29825478
Also worthy of a Kek

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPaDNzQmB-g

>>29823841
OP you stingy fuck. Five minutes isn't hardly enough time to properly prepare an anus.

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>Bring both dogs and raccoon to neighbors
>set phone, tablet and laptop to record
>put on sunglasses and resume sipping coffee

Nothing for em to find here. Also 4chan is retroactively banning me

>>29823883
Is this a copy pasta?

>run outside
>grab sks
>go innawoods

in this order? wtf...

I have no issue with ATF raiding my house because all the guns I legally owned were lost in a boating accident

>>29823875
That image in my head had me chuckle at my desk. This is how you counter an atf raid.

>>29823841

I have four kids, a pregnant wife and a dog. The Feds would walk in the door and have a collective seizure once they saw all those targets. Then I'd evacuate my family before the second wave of agents could set fire to the house.

>>29823841
>ATF bursts in and tries to raid me
>Find all my legally owned guns
>Find a gigantic bag of green plant matter that reeks like marijuana
>Arrested, guns confiscated, etc.
>Sue them for false arrest after the independent lab my lawyer contracts returns negative test results
>mfw I keep a giant bag of ground up hops on hand at all times just to troll Johnny Law because those bitch niggas never listen

>>29825405
Well I do like a good pegging now and then.

>>29823841

>Cue up "Dead Man's Gun" on loop
>Wait with PTR

>>29823841

I actually have had a confrontation/visit with the BATFE, they're.. actually kinda okay. At least the ones at my local office.

>be me
>idiot highschooler
>small town
>set off MRE bomb on school property on a weekend
>Mr. ATF shows up
>nice chat
>dogs still alive
>baby brother unflashbanged

everything went better than expected.

Strip down naked and cover myself in Vaseline.

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nice just enough time to put on a dress and gear up

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>>29828692
Mah mayne.

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>>29823875
>"Eeeew no! What do you think we are? Some kind of skank? Puh-lease!"

>>29829143
I know that FAL from somethread...

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>>29827403
Nevar Forgit

>>29829337
>somethread...
?

>>29829648
It was a milsurp thread a while back

>>29829301
Especially of your girl gives you a reach around. Nothing like a tiny smooth girls hand giving you the handy while you get your prostate tickled.

>everything of questionable legality already vacuume packed and buried.

I guess I strip down to my boxers, put on some aviators and sit down to watch port while I wait.

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>>29830336
As long as it doesn't end up looking something like this.

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>>29823841
Re-create waco and go down with the ship.

Put my dog in his kennel so they wont shoot him and that's about it.

I'm not a pedophile or psychopath so I don't have anything to worry about.

If I was a criminal I'd yank the hdd out of my comouter and shoot it multiple times before tossing it in the fireplace, and then flush any illegal drugs or put them down the sink disposal.

>>29823841
Wonder why the ATF is visiting Canada.

>microwave testicles
>turn off lights
>hop areoun in the dark with now glowing testes like a spoooooky ghost

>>29827403
Underrated post

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>>29823841
toss all my shit in my car n gtfo. I literally just finished packing for Arizona, woooo! Colorado River here i come! Cinco de Mayo!

>>29827399
Yes, newfag. Its in the stickey even for christs sake

I'll just make a coffee and sit down.

Law abiding firearm owner.

>>29823841
>ATF raid you've got less than 5 minutes to prepare what do /k/
Throw all my guns and ammo in my car and drive away.

thread/

>>29827422
the fuck you doing with all your guns on a boat?

I'm at work so I'm fucked

>>29823841

I'm not at home and there is nothing for them to find.

Bring it on.

>>29823841
Call my lawyer and then brew coffee. Go to the front porch and drink coffee while ATF searches the house and confiscates all suspicious items.

Afterwards get them back and receive money for damages.

Simple really

>>29823841
>Tell wife to flush all the SBR's and to hide the .20mm in her panties

>>29835261
>.20 mm
What is that, a gun for ants?

>>29833752
what is civil forfeiture

Go for an outing on my boat.

>>29835268
I use Pym particles on all my weapons

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>>29823841
>Dawn my beesuit with Kevlar underneath
>hives already strategically placed
>grab bushmaster super varminter with hundred drum
>kick over 10 hives with 80000+ warriors in each
>casually stroll through clouds of bees finishing off evil raiders
>pic related

All the drugs
Shit in my barrels except for one of my doubles
Eat my last slice of pizza
Load 2 rounds
See you next time space Cowboys

>>29829143
disgusting degenerates

>>29833712
you dont carry your boomsticks on aquatic adventures?

>>29827399
Yes sks is burried in the yard

>>29827399
>is this a copy pasta

No, but it is a combination of every single ATF meme stuck into one post.

Look hard, you can find them all.

>>29825246
God damn I miss Dugan, anyone know his current condition?

>have 15 lb anvil
>use it to set traps
>shenanigans ensue

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>>29827403

>>29823875
Do the tacticribs have any armor or offensive capabilities?

>>29835433
By average progression of the average case of MS he is probably experiencing attacks that aren't quite debilitating yet, but are decreasing his quality of life.

>>29833638

Spic.

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>>29823875
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH god damn that's funny!

>>29835761
Yup, and I still wanna Make America Great Again.

Tacos 4 Trump!

>>29823841
Kill my dogs and wife
Set house on fire
Strip naked save for war belt and plates

Well /k you've certainly improved my day after losing my grandpas wallet

>>29829143
is that a short handled bayonet i see???

Strip naked, liberally apply Vaseline to entire body, blast Yakety Sax through the sound system, live stream it

>Tell the ATF I'm working with Eric Holder running gun to the Mexicans
>"Sorry for the inconvenience Sir"
>They shoot picture of family dog on way out

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>>29823875
kek

>>29835822
Honest curiosity from a white guy. It doesn't piss you off how he talks about people with subpeople language? I like everything about him except the bigotry. Just a big pill to swallow for me. How'd you get past it?

>>29835911
made it for the 10.5

Hide my tobacco!

>>29823841
Leave