You will never operate this good.

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Never leave an MRE behind

>>29806936
Out of his fucking mind, and alive.

what the fuck is this disaster?

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>>29807053

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Clearing a room properly.

This is kind of sad.

>>29807038

go away, tom segura.

Is this satire?

>>29807161
>Rifle flailing above left shoulder
>Move towards building
>Rifle now flailing above right shoulder.

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>>29807260
Being a master of martial arts makes you ambidextrous.

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>>29807293

>>29806837
>>29806919
>>29806936
>>29807206
>>29807322
wtf is this even from?

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i must see this movie
>may 3rd
its not even out yet, shit

>>29807355
probably one of his many direct to tv movies that suck more ass than a vaccuum in a house of asses

>>29807366
saw "van dam", thought it was jean claude for maximum action movie fun
no, its rob van dam. who?

>>29807355
Full flick:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_Rmj_rtWlo

>>29806837
>segal
>operate

Lmao pick 1

>>29807409
That's the trailer.

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>>29807409
WRONG LINK
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYcM1xZP7Bc

>>29807366
It's out and on YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYcM1xZP7Bc

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>>29806837

He clearly doesn't give a fuck.

>>29807432
>>29807442
thanks for the link bros, ill definitely watch it tonight. still wish it had jean claude van dam in it but oh well

>>29807467
Dont expect it to be a Seagal flick though.

Seagal wasnt available at the time as the rest of the cast so he spents the majority of his 20 minutes in the film in the room that OP's webm shows.

You've already seen the most of fun parts in the webms in this thread.

>>29807530
Thats a shame.

>>29807530
So like Executive Decision?

>>29807206
His finger isn't even on the trigger when he's clearing.

>>29807403
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfx80mfzLik

>>29807617
He has good TD, clearly. Besides, its Seagal. He would immediately throw away the rifle for some martial arts.

>>29807629
>giant sweaty man in leotard
>hurls self 20 feet through the air to assault other sweaty leotard men
>also roundhouse kicks, flips, chairs, and ponytails

A dream come true honestly.

>>29807293
Is that the same gun as that guy in Cat Shit One?

>>29807293
I feel bad because the other guy is really trying.

>>29807530
>Seagal wasnt available at the time
yea, because he's just drowning in movie deals and pussy nowadays

>>29808689
While we scoff at his direct-to-DVD athon, he's still making pretty good money. Quantity over quality works in Hollywood. The Rock made a small fortune doing this.

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Seagal showing off his operator status again.

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Anyone have some webms of Lawman? Other than this one.
Especially when he was trying to teach that one cop how to shoot using zen concentration.

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Women love him, they just cant help themself when they are around Seagal
He`s a true master of punani

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>>29810194
also this

>>29807355
Special spec ops Operations: Seagal: Retribution

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>>29806919
Micheal Bay should hire Seagal for the next turtles movie

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Here's what made him a meme God on /tv/

https://youtu.be/cfNW1ERej0A

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Are katanas standard equipment for Navy Walrus Operators?

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IId64OJdCKM

>>29810254
Both of those taste like ass. The blue one in particular had the aroma of rotten meat.

>>29810229
Do you know that with a real japanese katana folded over a thousand times, you can split in half up to five terrorists in one single slash ?

>>29807415

Fucking oblivious tripfags

>>29810223
>>29810293
Every living person has a birthday.

Ergo to 'snatch a birthday' is to remove someone from this world.

>>29810229
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cfNW1ERej0A

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>>29810373
What gun is the best for snatching every mother fucker birthday?

>>29810525
>gun

Katana, fool.

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>>29810529
is this good for snatching every mother fucker birthday?

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>>29810533
It depends on how many times the steel is folded

>>29806837
at first i tought it's larry vickers

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>>29810525

The fowty figh.

It's been a staple of the birthday snatcher himself since the early 90's.

>>29810223

His TD is always top notch.

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>>29810223
>>29810373

Steven speaks the operator language.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KlyHwnPqns

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>>29810706
>oh wadda hold yoh buh...ow me fiddy bucks..
What did Seagal mean by this?

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>>29806837

if i was him, i'd buy some cabin deep in the woods and never speak to anyone again

Or at least i'd stop to make everything worse by producing more of this pathetic b-movie shittery

>>29807617

He doesn't need to pull the trigger to clear the room

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Could you hold your own in a shooting contest against Sensei Seagal /k/ ?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gn4d-UqPVN4

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>>29806837

You will never dance this good.

>>29810854
Steven Should be on dancing with the stars

>>29810885
>Steven should be dancing on the stars

fixed

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>>29810854
This guy takes not giving a shit to a philosophically educational level.

>they haven't seen richie
>they don't know why richie did bobby lupo

Fucking plebs

>>29806837
>>29806919
>>29806936
Larry Vickers movie?

>>29807206
Only thing he's clearing is a fridge.

>>29810365
and to snatch "every mother fucker birthday" makes absolutely no sense

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>>29810533
That is most honorable Tojo

>>29806837
you will never have enough money to make movies where you play around with guns and oper8.

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>>29811111

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>>29810854

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>>29810197
fucking hell

>>29810854
He chillen with Ramzan? For sure he know how to steal every motherfucker birthday.

>>29810910
well he is a Buddhist, the religion thats all about not giving a shit

>>29811235
>well he is a Buddhist

Why's he always killing people?

>>29811221
>a guy with a fucking saber
>I'll go at physical range waving my gun at his face

>>29811221
>>29811324

he actually WALKS UP TO HIM AND OFFERS HIS HAND what the fuck?

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How can one man be so based?

>>29811398
I must admit, I respect him for using a proper two-handed grip most of the time.

>>29810254
Those drinks contain ground up parasitic fungus. The more you know.

>>29811321
"it's just a movie bro"
No really, this is his justification for making movies with 0 worth whatsoever and with few exceptions that always talk about people killing each other for revenge or some shit, playing complete assholes and high tier psychopaths that are so brutal that they make the bad guys look like dindus.

>>29810978
It does when you realize that "motherfucker" is actually a slurred "mothafuckuh", which is a slurred "motherfucking".
You get it?

>>29810788
I am becoming more and more convinced that Saddam faked his death and replaced Steven Seagal.

>>29810978
If we're not memeing and seriously trying to understand it, he's niggering so he has bad grammar and is using a bad synechdoche.

>>29810706
Bad synching or bad dubbing?

>>29811111
This is a new level of dubs

>>29811111
Quints confirm /tv/ and /k/ are official allies in Birthdayposting

>>29806837
What happened? Seagal used to be legit...

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>>29811927
Well...Im sorry to hear that....

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i watched this over the weekend..

it's pretty ok and kinda hilarious if you're not expecting much.

this bitch gets 3 - 4 kills

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>>29812234
Is there any tactical advantage in having kneepads on your ankles?

>>29811159
Somebody make a "Birthday Snatcher" patch.

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fat operating pride
Steven is my hero

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>>29806837
seriously Steven you need to stop shilling this hard and you need to go on a fucking diet because you have seriously let your self go. while we do appreciate the fact that you can make movies just to play around with guns have some dignity and get off your fat ass and train to be in the goddamn movie have enough dedication to yourself and your art to lose the blubber before making your next B movie, at least lose enough weight so you can properly shoulder your weapon.

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>>29812242

>>29808754
so that is how you get fat from eating sushi

>>29808704
The rock can actually act. Also he's not sure fat fuck like Seagal.

>>29810284
Or in other words a single Steven Seagal

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>>29811398
the level of monumental laziness represented by this gunfight is only eclipsed by turning a naval ship of course to get the sun out of your eyes while enjoying your bagel

>>29812266
Would buy

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does anyone else think Seagal looks like a GTA character?
I get a GTA loading screen feel when i look at this pic

>>29812447
he should make like a GTA character and die

>>29807322
It's like a fucking COD game.

As soon as the pre rendered cutscene is over then the gun goes back on the shoulder...

>>29807460
Seagal: School Shooter: Retribution

this is how I imagine most gearfags desu

>>29810978

Well, if you had seen the whole movie, you'd know the guy on the floor is called Burton-Dey Tooker. He is mentally handicapped, he can only say his name or parts of it (think Hodor of GoT).
So the exchange goes like this:

> What happened
> Dey Tooker
> (Seagal understands him intuitivly and vows revenge)
> Well i'm sorry to hear that, 'cus now, i will have to snatch every motherfucker, Burt-Dey.

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>>29812538
>>29812447
>>29812477
>>29812273
>>29811221
>>29810854
>>29810706

...thaaaaaa fuck is going on with this dude's hairline?

>>29807206
>>29806936
>>29806919
>>29806837
someone please tell me that this is comedy

>>29810706
>>29810788

Don't worry boys, I speak Seagal. Translation:

>Oh...man, what kept you man? You still sore about that fifty bucks?

>>29812593
No. This time it's serious. DEADLY Serious.

(starring Steven Seagal)

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>>29812583
Steven was loosing his hair back in the 80's , then he met a monk who shared the ancient secret on how to grow your hair back with meditation, this makes the hair grow back even thicker than it was,

>>29807206
Gastric Band of Brothers.

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>>29812583
ancient japanese secret

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>>29812583
Toupe. Probably completely bald.
Hollywood hair prosthetics are really good. It's hard to tell unless you know what you're looking for.

For example, John Travolta has been bald for decades.

>Carradine talks shit on Steven Seagal
>Shows up dead in a Thai brothel
>Steven Seagal operated against Mexican cartels IRL
Don't mess with the S.S.

>>29812640
Not a good example, his fakeness has been clear since digital moviemaking got into triple-digit resolutions.

Reminder that this guy is deputized and operates with SWAT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUjPz7BKjlM

>>29812662
Holy shit what is happening. Dem cuts mayne.

>>29812662
I'm going to be sick

>>29812662
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1369596/SWAT-team-armoured-vehicles-Steven-Segal-Arizona-cockfighting-raid.html

https://www.texasobserver.org/a-middle-aged-action-hero-the-borders-newest-deputy/

Does Steven do remakes?

He'd be great in The Police Raid in Waterloo Station

>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2M8_DZvF2FI

wasn't this guy laughed out of Iraq when he tried to be a contractor IRL?

>>29812309
The Rock can act but he built a multimillion dollar empire by making hundreds of movies. I do give Rock credit though, every piece of shit he's in, he tries.

>>29811111
Quints my fucking niggers

>>29812750
He's only had 43 movies

>>29811398
>1911
>Holds 7 rounds
>Empties 7 rounds in each gook while airborne >never reloads
>top kek

>>29812723
>implying he wouldn't be a great PR stunt
>DynCorp, now ft. Steven Segal!
>post some vids of him snatchin birfdais
>more boys sign up for the grinder
>shareholders be laffin

>>29812774
They hold 9, and I only saw 9 muzzle flashes.

>>29812807
1911 holds 7 as i recall

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>>29811111
Dayum

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>>29812640
>Hollywood hair prosthetics are really good.

It almost sounds like you're saying that out of a sad desire for it to be true.

>>29812837
I have 8 round magazines +1 in chamber.

>>29812848
this

8 rnds mags exist, but the other explaination is that it could be a .38 super auto 1911

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>>29807432
Best war movie ever. I ate my shit out of respect of Mr. Seagals öperator skills. I whish his fat gut was in my face always.

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Seagal has a awsome life, gets paid to play operator with his friends, makes movies just to show off his gun collection https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wnw08iNb51U
Gets to play cop, drive tanks trough houses, train swat, hang out with putin, and do it all while fat as fuck with a wig and dont give a fuck, and just feel awsome without a hint of shame

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>>29807409
>0:28
>silencer snipe
>full crack

Fuck it. That's enough 4chan for me today. GG

>>29811221
Must have been the same cinematographers that Larry Vickers uses.

>>29812677
Then don't ever try to watch the 4-5 minute long fight scene from Kill Switch or you'll actually lose control of your stomach immediately. Compared to that one, this scene is nothing.
Now this is pure kino.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBnrJoV2mZg

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>>29811111
Those quints...

>>29806837
>>29806919
>>29806936
>>29807206
>>29807293
>>29807322
This isn't surprising seeing how he does martial arts
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=USUbB-kg6P4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVm2ld4f08I

>>29813998
oh my god that cannot be real

"steven so this helicopter comes out and.."
"...i shoot it a bunch of times?"
"...no steven, we were thinking you drive a..."
"I think it would be cool if I shot like the engine out or something"
"Well I just don't th-"
"I'm just gonna shoot it the sushi buffet starts in half an hour I don't have a lot of time here, bub"

>>29814129
I can't tell if that's good or bad. Is his opponent just that bad or are they acting? He hardly seems to be doing anything..

>>29811496
Being so fat you slur your speech is no excuse.

>>29811226
>that sunset
Every step across that bridge is taking at least three minutes.

>>29814227
if you don't roll with the move the right way in aikido you will get fucked up.

>>29814227
I think the whole point of Aikido is to use your opponent's energy to get them on the ground while using as little of your energy as possible.

>>29814422
checked

>>29807206
He's too operator, he's even looking out for the enemies on the ceiling!

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>>29814461
Got to check the ceiling for those ISIS hassasin ninja's, they could be there ready to jump on you

>>29813998

Well, drat, we're going to die. Better say mayday in the most uninvested way possible.

>>29814227
It's aikido. It's a bullshit martial art. The Steven is doing his moves on a passive subject. In aikido you'd actually be criticized for resisting someone doing these ridiculous joint manipulation on you. You'd get strangled to death or crippled trying this shit on a judoka or bjj practitioner.

>>29814227
It's good. He's very accomplished.

Those people are trying very basic attacks at a lower level of skill. He's very good in that he counters effectively every time, and executes locks and holds precisely. They don't perform any counters to his counters.

A lot of it is psychological. They believe they're facing someone who can always beat them, so that's going to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Also given the context they know it would be a great humiliation if one of them did take him down. So they're much more willing to lose gracefully than spar hard.

But his blocks, holds, and throws are legit. A lot of those throws look effortless because he's really just holding them in a pain position, and to get out of it they're dramatically jumping and rolling themselves. Something they know how to do. If these were guys on the street there would be a lot less rolling around, and he'd have to subdue them with strikes to get them out of his way.

When they all gang up on him and he keeps slipping out of the way... that's legit as well. There are moves you can make against groups that are very effective. Most involve pulling or dragging someone at the edge of the line across the other guys in front of you so all of their forward momentum gets shifted to your side by that person's body weight.

Of course that's not as effective if they're also trying to punch or stab you. Everyone in these vids is attempting a simple grab and throw against Segal. He'd have to do something much different if they were trying to stay out of his reach while striking.

>>29814422
No, you will get criticized by sense For not being a good uke. In the real world someone tries an aikido move on you, you grab the back of their head and try to high five your palms with your knee through their face.

>>29814530
Yeah, it's closer to physiotherapy than an actual martial art

>>29814544
They're literally not fighting. At least JCVD has an actual fight record. SS is a bullshit artist and aikido is a martial art for people too pussy to take up judo.

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>>29814544
>It's good. He's very accomplished.

Daily reminder that by virtue of being younger and less fat than him, you could probably kick Steven seagal's ass in a fight

>>29814566
Well yeah, it's a sportified martial art. Like a lot of them. There are written and unwritten rules about how you face an opponent. I already said a real fight would be much different.

>>29814590
I'm just acknowledging that SS is breddy good at Aikido. I'm not claiming that he'd succeed in a street fight with four adult men trying their hardest to kill him. He'd probably die.

>>29814530
>>29814546
>>29814566
>judo fags that roll around hugging men all day long

I'll go to pornhub if i want to watch that shit.

>>29814624
Shhh. Don't tell them that Judo is also a sport art and for people too pussy to take up Jujitsu. It'll trigger them.

>>29814544
So it's all really good stuff as long as everyone promises to not try very hard?

>>29814715
By that time they're trained not to try very hard. No one has to agree to anything.

If you were in a shoving match where no one was trying to seriously injure anyone else it would be very useful. There are plenty of situations where you're in that kind of fight: where someone is just trying to assert dominance, not commit multiple felonies. If you can quickly get some chest pusher in a submission hold you've done something useful.

But no. It's not a combat skill. You ain't gonna kill a hundred Charlies in the jungle with your sick Aikido moves.

>>29814820
You can do a lot of the same stuff with BJJ or Judo and both of those will do more to prepare you for a noncompliant and aggressive attacker.

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>>29814624
Why are you here if you're so afraid combat will unmask your unquenchable thirst for cock?

>>29812618
holy shit, I'm laughing hard

>>29814841
I don't disagree.

holy shit. tried to watch it...unsuppressed rifle sounds like a typical poorly suppressed pistol. seriously wtf.

>>29814820
>But no. It's not a combat skill.
It can be. As in, it can be used to save yourself from situations that are considered "real". There's quite a lot of diversity in the level and approach of practitioners overall, with most tending towards the level you describe.

>>29814841
BJJ will prepare you for wrestling in the ground, which I hope will be spacious enough, won't be covered with shattered glass or pointy objects and the attacker won't be accompanied by his fammies.
Judo will prepare you for taking grapplers down, except IRL not everyone will try to grapple.
Aikido can prepare you for such things, or not, depending on who you train with. The "problem" with it is that preparing you to rek some guys is a secondary consideration. I rarely see this mentioned but Ueshiba was a man very absorbed in spiritual matters and Aikido was an integral part of this, and his primary concern was to form a martial art whose aim would be to make people get in tune with their bodies and grow spiritually the way he understood it. Hence why it's Aikido, and not just a minor variation on Aikijutsu. It's not a martial art you take up to become a dedly killa quickly and to beat up people in a ring.

The actual problem with Aikido is that it's too easy for people to give 0 shits about properly acting the "attacker" role and just throw themselves away at the slightest touch so that they can swap roles quickly and throw people, and feel good. It's especially a problem with black belts who, when partnered up with a serious black belt will be forced to actually make an honest effort to complete the technique and also to attack properly, but pair them up with a beginner and they're like "I'm bored, I'm too good for this shit, I want to change partners already".

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>>29812843
>>29812640

They are traitors to their own kind.

Bald Uncle Toms.

>>29815124
Yes, judoka and bjj practitioners are helpless in the face of lava or hypodermic needles on the ground. Never mind that they have the grappling skills to dictate where the fight goes and they're also knowledgeable about holds, throws, and submissions from the standing position.

It's like you never saw ufc circa 1993 or something.

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>>29810229
>Navy Walrus Operators

>>29815124
I agree mostly but I think people discount the usefulness of BJJ and even Judo.

I really dislike hearing the cliche examples of "there might be broken glass on the ground!!1" and "muh multiple attackers!!!"

I don't go very many places covered with broken glass, because I don't live in a fucking crackhouse. If you regularly walk around where there is broken glass and used syringes and shit then maybe that's a legit concern, but for most of us this is a BS example Krav Maga instructors and McDojo owners give to try and convince people they don't need grappling.

Furthermore, BJJ is not just "submit this guy on the ground," it includes a lot of the skills required to avoid going to the ground in the first place. I bet you that you will learn more about takedown defense in a year or 2 of BJJ than in 5 years of most anything else, except perhaps wrestling (which is hard to get into as an adult) .

Or in the multiple attackers scenario, if you do get taken down and your attacker takes mount, BJJ gives you the skills required to control the guy on top and stand back up. A lot of martial arts pay lip service to "not going to the ground" but the only way you get to choose that is if you know grappling and takedown defense. Outside of MMA training and BJJ the options are pretty limited.

>>29815460
>the ground will always be soft, nice and clean
>people will respect a good gentlemanly ground brawl
>all Judoka and BJJ guys are gud, so gud that they will necessarily fight on their terms, always; they cannot be not good enough or face people better than them
>muh UFC
Right.
I recommend sticking around law enforcement and the like who've trained in martial arts and had to use them in dangerous situations (and not petty bar fights), and asking them about their experiences. Real life is unfortunately not the UFC, most serious confrontations involve one or multiple weapons on the opposite side as well as multiple opponents, and 99% of the time these people make use of the "passive" benefits of martial arts like alertness, calmness and reflexes to actual life protecting effect than kicking people outside of a window 12 times like a certain someone.
(There are plenty of such anecdotes on the net and collected in books, if you can't find real people)
Now in cases where the martial art can actually be used "normally" to defend oneself, it's really more about the skill of the artist and his experience than the art itself. A good Judoka will probably manage in that case.

>>29815566
Don't get me wrong, I'm not implying that Judo and BJJ are useless or just a little bit useful. Far from it actually. Just saying that they're not DUDE THIS ART GRANTS ME 100% INVINCIBILITY IN ANY SITUATION LMAO like some people tend to claim. After all, literally nothing is (aside from the skill of always avoiding danger).
I agree with what you've written otherwise.

As for the needles on the ground, I was thinking more in the lines of vegetation with sturdy and pointy bits or deformed concrete actually, lel. I do encounter broken glass on the ground fairly frequently though, every now and then some ebin kids will either break bottles on the ground, or smash the glass panels of bus stops.

>>29815803
If you want to talk about cops and mil guys who used martial arts, the most common stuff so far as I've seen is MMA, specifically boxing, Muay Thai, and BJJ. In my experience a lot of cops are into BJJ and a lot of SOF guys like it. Some examples that come to mind are Craig Douglas and Paul Sharp, both pretty experienced cops who have been in nasty fights. Craig runs force on force combatives type classes for people who carry and he is a big advocate of BJJ for his students. A lot of SOF guys also train BJJ, although maybe not year round. It's pretty standard stuff at least in the Army SMU and the SF regiment.

In my opinion the hallmarks of a good combatives program is being able to do oppositional training with a good degree of force. TMA and other systems that involve compliant "I do this, you react this way" tend to fall apart under actual duress. Many martial arts fall into a trap of institutional inbreeding, where people only have experience sparring and fighting people who share their style, which combined with arbitrary rulesets, leads to some pretty big knock-on effects in training priorities and in-fight decision making.

>>29812252
yes actually, if you ever have to crawl over rough stuff they're a lifesaver

>>29814227
it's good akido, but it's also just a demonstration so the guys are passive/compliant in the moves he wants to show off

>>29814530
>>29814624
>>29814715
>>29814841
>>29815460
>>29815566
Judo is the shitty jap version of western wrestling

bjj isn't even as good with their grappling but the fact that they have choke you to death moves that wrestling doesn't kind of negates that

wrestling>boxing>bjj>wrestling

you can see this in the early days of MMA but now everybody is a jack of all trades so unless you're olympic level on the ground or significantly shorter, you're probably better off trading hands most of the time

when all is said and done my training is better than most, i could easily take the average man. can i take a steven seagal or a navy seal? probably not 5 times out of 10 but I would give more than a fighting chance.