Should I start carrying a self defense club in stead of a knife, /k/?

Being beaten by a dildo would be the low -point of anyones life.

Yes, because they will carry their shame forever.

>>29584765
>>29585025
A knife only kills the body; this kills the soul.

>>29585118
>tfw waking up in the ER with a broken ribs, a fractured orbit and a body covered in veiny, cock-shaped bruises for all the staff to see and chuckle at uncontrollably.

I think that's the literal, the one, true, living definition of "[X] BTFO, NOW ON SUICIDE WATCH"

I think its a good idea, bonus points for being concealable

>>29585282
>that's concealable
Anon, are you okay?

Pretty sure that was a scene in Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels

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>>29585282

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>>29585305
>he's never been to prison

meh doesn't come with its own sheath

>>29586137
>Not being the sheath
What a fag.

>>29585282
>concealing 16" of black
trust me anon, it's harder than you think

>>29584765
Could probably break the knuckles off a knife wielding nigger quite easily. Maybe even break the forearm if you do it right.
How's that for a disarm

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>>29587008
Why not wear it proudly at your side, anon?

>>29584765
Hurt like hell and often cause flinching of your opponent I'd say.
It'd be nice to have a lowkey club shaped like a walking stick so that the nogs don't expect it.
Police wont look at you as funnily either that way I'd assume.

>>29588325
>on side
>not inside

It's like you dont want the element of surprise anon.

>>29584765
>wake up
>strip naked
>slather body with a whole tub of vaseline
>tape both of these to your palms
>snort 2 bags of bath salts
>step out front door

What does /k/ do next?

>>29584765
>>29585025
Best part: it's *not* a "weapon" (and therefore not "dangerous"); using a dildo as an improvised defensive tool will only help your court case.

>>29588878
Become the greatest swordsman of the 21st century I guess.

I bought an asp 26 inch collapsible baton. Best thing ever. It conceals very easy. It will out do any knife you have far more length and you can break bones fairly easy with a baton.

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>>29584765
Yes. I carry a shillelagh Daily because I tore my kneecap and a few tendons last year. It's made from Osage and is about cane height, and the ball on top is slightly bigger than a baseball.


Some guy tried to mug me at knife point and left with a shattered collarbone because I have more reach with it

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>>29590260

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>>29590320

>>29590260
>>29590320
>>29590335
BAN ASSAULT SHILLELAGHS

>>29589751
I've heard those things are surprisingly sturdy

>>29590351
I was my shillelagh too...

>>29590597
Wax goddamnit

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>>29588878
Hunt for more

>>29590621
I'd wax your shillelagh if you catch my drift.

>>29590260
Whadya say about the flinch factor too

>>29593361
I'd say you might flinch a little if I swung it at you

>>29593361
I'd say it's my "fuck your shit up" stick

ISP ban check.

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>>29587008

I can conceal up to 18 inches if it's 1.5 inches in diameter and fairly bendable or up to 12 inches if it's 2.5 inches in diameter and stiff.

>>29594365
Post boi poussi

>>29594318
Checkim

>>29594365

Why did I get a stiff from reading this post?

i swear to god this place turns you gay

>>29588861
>Reaches to back pocket for wallet
>hand moves past wallet, grabs black balls
>pulls with fury, extracts sixteen inches of black dick
>Mugger realizes he's in for some deep trouble

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>>29590260
>shillelagh
>mick
Fucking filthy spudnigger

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>>29594821
You probably don't want to see it, I'm not cleanly shaven.

>>29594872
Because you want it yourself, Anon.
I'm not even gay, I just enjoy anal stimulation.

It's so much fun to see a toy bulging from your belly.

I just bought one of those USB snake cameras to have fun with. I was thinking of putting it in my stomach like I do with an air hose from time to time.

All I need is someone to fist me.

Do you have any toys, Anon?
I can give you some recommendations.

>>29594970
I'm actually not Irish. I just wanted a badass cane

>>29595469
based shinometa

>>29590260
Where did you get yours?

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>>29595469

I.. don't.

please tell me

>>29596957
What are you into? :3

>>29596996

2D wise or 3D wise?

>>29597007
3D, IRL, what you actually want to do to yourself.

>>29597036

Not a clue.

Well, I've only got myself once from prostate stuff and that was using a toilet seat edge.

I seem to be sensitive around the "ring" so to speak, so if I gyrate my hips right now on a chair I get some pleasure from it.

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>>29597064
How would you even use a toilet seat edge?

You should purchase a 1.5"x18" dildo and an enema bag for your experiments.

Do you like the the idea of belly inflation or stuffing?

>>29597167

Thanks.

Like I said, I gyrated my hips so that my "ring" would rub against itself and the seat.

And I haven't a clue, not whacked off to that stuff before.

>>29597208
I highly recommend the Doc Johnson brand from Amazon.

You should also pick up some mineral oil.

It can be very fun and rewarding.
Can you control your gag reflex?

How dod you discover this interest?

>>29584765
As long as you get a rubber version, silicon will tear and break after a few hits

>>29597306

Cheers and I haven't tried before.

Kinda discovered it when I'd either itch or shuffle on a chair. I've done a little experimentation, but not much came out of it.

>>29597404
what you need is a vibrating bullet or plug. Something high frequency to tickle you.
Attaching a 7.62 to an electric toothbrush and running the tip around your ring will do in a fix

>>29596144
I made it, As any self respecting man should.

Osage grows like weeds where I live

>>29597433
I can see it now
>Local man found dead after pleasuring himself with a live round
Work your way up to 20mm anon, I believe in you.

>>29597433
>7.62

Wonderful, very /k/ indeed.

Mighty helpful of you.

>>29597447
Looks nice, I wish that we had them growing here.
What did you finish it with?