Fire Fighter/EMT Stories

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>>29406362
Firefighting is operator as fuck.

My dad's been a firefighter for more than 20 years. He's a driver/engineer on an engine these days. He doesn't really get a lot of crazy stories now that he doesn't ride the medic, but he once shredded a pair of bunker pants and boots with a lawnmower when he was new.

Here are two of his old helmets. The "E-201" patch is removable, and I have it on one of my bags now.

> /k/ - weapons
> let's talk about firefighters

What?

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>>29406362
Only based jap toasters can save this thread now

>>29407032
>Only based jap toasters can save this thread now

What?

>>29406362

>be me
>EMT/ER work inner city for 5 years
>bunch of dindu BS
>lots of boring calls
>some genuine medical emergencies, mostly heart attacks
>lots of shootings

>>29406876

>FF is operator as fuck

theres no combat, so no its not operator at all, retard

>>29407067
>fireFIGHTING
>no combat

I feel like /k/ would be the natural home for first responders of any stripe.

Related note, I'm trying to join thr USCG, and I have my eye on Aviation Survival Technician once my cutter duty is up. It's cool because part of the training is actually getting EMT-B certs at Petaluma. Anyone know if the Guard will pay for training beyond that? Ideally I'd like to become a certified Paramedic before my contract is up, so I can still work in that field even if the Coast Guard doesn't turn out to be a viable career.

>>29406362
Wait so you're with a department but haven't been through fire academy? Or are you going for a new recruit class?

Hey OP,
I joined my local volunteer department back last August, it's really pretty fun if you're into that thing.
Being a rural department, we've only had five or six real emergency calls since then, most of them being motor vehicle accidents when it rains and people forget how to drive on two-lane roads.
Wr did have one big fire, but I was at work 30 minutes away and couldn't respond.

Good luck getting all of your training hours in

Nationally registered EMT and in fire academy right now, but I work the ER as a tech, it pays better and I get a ton of experience placing IV's.

>guy drives alone to hospital
>hand wrapped in a blood soaked white t-shirt
>gets triaged and sent right in
>plastic surgeon is called in
>I finish placing a 12 lead on a patient and head over to his room to draw blood and start an IV
>walk into his room and this dudes fingers had no skin left.
>like straight skeleton fingers
>surgeon spends about three hours making this guys hands look like hands again
>the whole time the patient is talking like this is just another Tuesday, we're talking about guns and cars the whole time

Turns out this guy was having trouble starting his lawn mower and decided to turn it on its side and try to start it like a prop driven plane and lost 4 digits in the process. Reminds me of what my dad told me though, if you're gonna be dumb you better be tough.

Plenty more stories, some from my days transporting BLS some way more brutal or just plain stupid if anyone is interested

>be emt
>get tudors at discount price
>spend hours watching reality brothers or whatever is on crapstation
>Get bullshit calls over drugaddicts
Love working for 911

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>>29407141

>being a faggot with a hose in bunker gear is the same as warfare

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EMT Basic fag, just recently got my NREMT completed, in line for a job now

Only got one kinda cool story from my clinicals

> Mostly boring nothing
> sitting around chilling in a small texas town with the nicest guys ever
> finally get a call
> Vehicle rollover
> driving 70+ down these rickey small ass backroads
> show up
> pickup truck flipped over, is still on the road
> grab the backboard
> fat mexican lady flipped her truck because she was on her phone
> she's half out the back rear window
> crawl under the truck on top of broken glass to lay the backboard down
> my preceptor does a trauma assessment
> she has really back fucking road rash on her shoulder and back
> when the truck flipped, she was dragged along the ground for atleast a few feet
> stomach has some bruising along her RUQ
> palpates it, it's hard, he suspects she might have a lacerated liver
> the bed of the truck is literally right on top of us, so we're a tad cramped securing her to the backboard
> get her into the ambulance
> I put the backboard up
> get in
> we're hauling ass to get back, the trauma center in this town cannot help her
> need to fly her out to San Antonio
> take her BP, do an EKG and pulse ox
> driver flies around a corner
> look out the back
> fuckin backboards flew all over the road into the opposing lane
OH GOD DAMMIT
> traffic stopped
> nearly shit my motherfucking pants when I realize why the other FD was slamming the access doors so hard
> my preceptor didn't notice
> tell him promptly
> "ehk it's fine, we're busy"
> take lady to helipad
> cool as fuck Air Life pilots/flight nurses land
> help everyone load her into the helicopter
> he dusts off and flies away
> some people collected and returned the backboards to the hospital
> apologize repeatedly to my preceptor
> "It's fine man, it's happened before, we've all done it once"

If you're doing ambulance rotations, memorize patient assessment and close the motherfucking access doors on the outside of the ambulance

>>29407067
Stories fag, with details

it's cool for people who don't deal with fires/shootings/car crashes

>>29406896
> arson
> shootings
> beatings
> the most civilian operator experiences available without being an LEO

This is less /k than airsoft.

Sage in all fields

I want to join the fire department here but I have no idea how to get started aside from trying to apply for the academy with a few references.

>>29407859
Is it volunteer or paid?
If it's paid, you have to go to school for it like you're saying.
Usually to volunteer you just have to walk into the door and say "Hi, my name is Anon, and I'd like to join your department." and then show up to trainings and calls.

>>29407911

I went to the HQ and they gave me an application for their auxiliary program to turn in. Even that was asking for academy experience though. Maybe it's just the area I live in that is very high demand.

What are some based firefighter books to check out?

Anyone have an NREMT test study guide or tips? Taking mine on Wednesday but there's almost no good study guides

>Be me FF
>Highway accident reports of one fatality
>Driver killed on impact suspected DUI
>Car crumpled into a heap of metal
>We start cuting to get the body out
>Cut into C post of car
>Squirt of red
>"The fuck was that"

We actually cut into the head of a kid in the back, Man up OP this isnt even the icing on the cake

>>29408075

Did you guys get fucked for that or what?

>>29408104
Fucked how? The kid was dead as well of the driver.

>>29408115

For grinding into his head. Same reason cops can't just shoot a dead body.

>>29408162
I mean it was paperwork but at the end of the day that's all it was.

>>29407413
How do you like ER tech? I'm about to finish an EMT program and can't decide between ambulance and ER tech.

>>29408162
>car crumpled into a heap of metal
>accidentally hitting a dead person you didn't know was there

>>29408199
Having done both, go ER tech all the way if that option is available. The average starting pay with a BLS company where I live is $10+/- a few cents, I started at $14.75 an hour in the ED plus a $1.25 shift differential since I work 7pm-7am. You get tons of experience placing IV's and reading EKG's which will help immensely in paramedic school, and since you're working in close proximity to MD's, DO's and RN's if you're tight with them you can pick their brains and most will be happy to explain something you're having trouble with.

>>29408019
NFSTA essentials of firefighting volume 6

>>29406362
Still in trainings but did two rotations. Both nights were mildly eventful, so I have a story or two. Had one guy get cut up with a razor outside a police precinct. He was there to get an auto accident report and got into a fight with a guy who is a frequent flyer for public drunkeness and vagrancy cause he's homeless. Cuts all over his arms and chest, but they were little ones, hardly life threatening only a few were still bleeding by the time we got to him. Interesting but is that he had a ballpoint pen in his back. Must have gotten stabbed during the fight, tip broke off in him. Guy hardly even noticed. Just an example of the adrenal response, I suppose, more to come.

>>29408005
Where do you live?

>>29408412

Central California.

>>29408324
Thank you anon.

>>29408431
Where in CenCal? ...

>>29407683

It has absolutely nothing to do with weapons or the military. Showing up 15 minutes after the action is over isn't "operator" at all. Stop pretending you're a hard ass when in reality you're a nurse who also puts fires out.

>>29408534
Dude, they witness some genuinely traumatic shit, like having to perform CPR on a toddler's charred body while the mom screams in horror. They might not be shooting at people, but they are definitely hard men.

>>29408681
Just because you see horrific things doesn't mean you're operator or have anything to do with weapons or the military. Being literal cucks that have to stage and wait for the police to make he scene safe for them so they can come put band aids on some dirtbag after a fight, or give CPR to cats are not hard men.

Was dod in japan during the fukishima meltdown. Did confined space body recovery for about 4 months, pulling water logged dead bodies out of rubble. Some of them were so soggy that the limbs would just slip right off like crock pot meat. Seen some other terrible shit too. Im out now and am going back to school to do something else.. .it was all to much and too fast.

>>29407455
Tudor watches? Pardon my ignorance.

>>29408741
Not all of us see no action. Ive seen murders, natural disasters, hell pretty much every sorta death youd ever wish to see. Not that im saying firefighters are operator, but some of us have had to grow thick skin for sure.

>>29408815
You've literally witnessed a murder? Like watched someone kill another human being and then jumped in to attempt to save the victim? Or did you show up 15 minutes after PD and say "Yep, they're dead!" Then go watch a movie at the station?

>>29408838
Lol wow you sound like a fucking prick. No I didnt SEE the murder in progress, but I did watch the victim die while we tried to save her. Ive seen lots of people die in person, doesnt mean fuck all really, bh the way you are talking I know you are just talking shit though, prob some boot. Whatever dude.

>>29408863
Ok so please remind how watching someone die is related to weapons and or military? Not seeing a connection there. I mean fuck, let's have coroners, doctors, nurses and fucking CNA's come in here and have threads! They've all seen dead bodies, how operator are they, huh?! Siiiiickk!

>>29408403
Another call from my first night for a fall with a woman in her 90s who had zero short term memory, to the point where during transport she would ask multiple times within one minute which hospital we were taking her to. The circumstances of the fall were extremely suspicious. The home aide claimed that the woman had fallen down a whole flight of stairs, but this woman was a stick and had no obviously broken bones. The stairs also ended in a landing that was a step or two up off the floor, along the wall, and she was on the floor, not the landing. It honestly looked like either the aide lied about or didn't know how it happened, or the aide moved her, which would be incredibly dumb and definitely deficient care in that case. We included suspected elder care abuse in the PCR.

>>29408909

So youre saying only operators can make threads on /k/ huh? Youre a fucking jackass and your continually proving it with each post you make.

>>29408978

No, I'm saying this is a weapons and military bored you fucking moron. Since when did firefighters start carrying weapons? If you wanna have random ass threads go to /b/ or better yet go to Reddit and get everyone there to circle jerk over how amazing and heroic you are.

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>>29408909
Lol feggit GTFO.

>>29408967

> weapons
> military


Not seeing anything relevant to those in your post whatsoever. Weird, thought this was /k/.

>>29408988
Not an edge lord, seeing someone die has literally nothing to do with what /k/ is about. Firefighters are just butt-mad they get there after the real action has ended and scoop up body parts and save cats.

This is a dumb thread and it shouldn't be here.

That being said I am a Firefighter and Paramedic and currently sitting in the barracks at a training facility as I've been recycled with a recent job change/lateral.

>>29409003
The word you're looking for is violence, kiddo. Don't you have homework you need to hand in tomorrow? EMTs, and firefighters to lesser extents, are frequently witnesses and/or victims of violence. Hence the occasional overlap, and therefore relevance.

>>29408987


Jesus christ dude its a fucking single thread, firefighter threads arent coming to take you precious operator threads away. Go sperg out somewhere else you pathetic child.

>>29409024
Are you fucking kidding me? Like seriously? I have never in my life heard of a fire department that doesn't require PD to completely clear threats from a scene before being allowed to enter. They are not victims of violence. They may witness the effects of violence but they do not face it on a daily basis. That being said violence still doesn't make it a thread that should be on /k/. Get over yourself, hose jockey.

>>29409045
I don't like operator threads either. This is WEAPONS AND MILITARY like holy fuck can no one read?

>>29409080

But there are firefighterd in the military, that have served overseas and have guns. There are EMTs that also were in the military.

>>29409067
I'm not a furefighter, I'm an EMT-B. Holy shit take off your asshat. Go troll an F-35 thread. EMT threads don't come through often, BLS is completely /k/ related, stop trying to ruin a rare place in this shit hole where people could learn something.

>>29409126
>>29409127


But but.... snowflake.

That butt blasted poster is kinda right. I mean I will play fetch and will start reading and writing in here but I get why he's raging. It's how I feel about "is this (insert random thing) /k/ related?" Or "what movie is more /k/" ... and it goes on.

>>29409127
Hahaha BLS is /k/?! Being an EMT has literally nothing to do with this board! Neither does being a paramedic or firefighter! Stop pretending you're more than a glorified CNA.

>>29409126
Are they talking about guns in this thread? No? So they're military career and ownership of weapons is irrelevant. By you're standards I can make a vegetarian vs vegan thread as long as I own a gun right?

>>29407634
You drove a truck type didn't you?
Here on west coast metro EMS, we get the old bus types, the old 90's fords that don't run for shit but also don't have any exterior storage/

>>29406362
OP you are obviously excited. Just know that as you go on in your career if you choose to make this a career, it will turn into any other job. You will still love it, but you won't be excited and run to /k/ to post about it as its only a fun way to get that check at the end of the day. Shit will happen and the action will come without you looking for it. In the end it will just be a mess of boring stuff sptinkle with a few decent jobs/calls. Just know it's a marathon not a race and learning how to leave it at work and not be that annoYing obsessed guy early on will pay off.

>>29408019
None....

>>29408365
Do you want to torture the poor boy?

>Be EMT
>New Year's Day, 0100 hours
>"41-12, you're requested at 123 Some Pl for a fracture of a phallus."
>"Central... It's not a bone. You can't fracture it."
>"Caller states he broke it. Check and advise."
>Show up on scene. It's a frat house. Escorted in by a group of chads and jocks, half of whom have red solo cups. Pretty sure this is a prank.
>YOLO-type bro is sitting on the sofa, deathly pale
>"So, what's going on?"
>"I broke my dick, bro!"
>"You pulling my leg, man?"
>"No bro, for real, I swear!"
>FML, I need to look at this dude's junk now
>Tell crowd of bro-jocks to clear out and give the guy some space. Proceed to look at junk.
>Junk is semi-erect and has visible deformity
>"How the fuck did you pull that off?"
>"I was trying to take a piss and aiming it down, bro"
>"And you couldn't wait 5 minutes for your boner to go away?"
>"No man, I took viagra so I wouldn't get whiskey dick"
>Transport YOLO-bro to hospital
>Doctor informs me that it is in fact possible to tear your corpus cavernosum when it's engorged with blood, which is what this tard managed to do by trying really hard to bend his dick downwards.
>Learned something new

>>29409233
You're right, but it's also good to see spirit.
As long as OP channels his save-the-day energies into learning what he's doing like the back of his hand, it's all good.
I used to do critical care, and the best CC Nurse I ever worked with on my amberlamps still had that giddy excitement to go to jobs and be all he could be, even with nearly 20 years under his belt, including 6 in a helicopter.

>>29408075
Damn and I thought we screwed up when we cut into a cow with a k12 on an over turned trailer.

Full time EMT-fag here. Currently taking my AEMT, will be enrolled in Paramedic this fall.

I work full time (50+) hours a week for a private ambulance service that contracts with smaller outlying communities for emergency coverage, and also has contracts for in-town nursing homes, rehabilitation centers, and psych facilities that the city FD does not want to deal with.

I'd be more than happy to share some shit I guess.

>>29409414
Another one for OP

>Be Cop
>EMT pay sucked, also get a free gun
>"Sector Adam, EMS requesting PD at 456 Some Other Pl for a combative patient, heavy bleeder."
>Roll up on scene
>Walking up to door, hear commotion
>EMT bear hugging a 70-something year old lady who's totally naked and covered from head to toe in blood. She's kicking and screaming at him in Spanish.
>What the fuck?
>Take a second to roll up my sleeves and take a deep breath, then proceed to help EMTs wrangle the lady onto the stretcher as she kicks, screams, and wails in Spanish at us
>So much blood that neither EMS or I are sure at first where the laceration is - her hair's totally drenched and matted with blood
>Not that it matters, because she's tearing the bandages off when she's not trying to kick and hit us or squirm off the stretcher
>EMTs are running a two man crew, ALS 10 minutes out
>Apartment looks bloodier than most murder scenes I've seen
>fuck this we can't effectively treat her on scene, load and go!
>Jump in the back with the EMTs because they're clearly overwhelmed
>Poseys, handcuffs, same difference
>Lady's lost so much blood that she's starting to decompensate
>Still is squirming and screaming, but at least her her hands cuffed to the stretcher we can keep a nonrebreather on her face and direct pressure on the laceration
>Hospital ER massively WTFs when their door gets thrown open and this entire spectacle comes flying in on a stretcher
>Trauma swarms around her
>I'm covered in blood
>She's covered in blood
>EMTs are covered in blood
>Their ambulance is covered in blood
>Her apartment is covered in blood
>I don't even know how she hasn't exsanguinated yet

I'm amazed it doesn't give me nightmares.

>>29408741
Sorry that the most Operator thing you've done is camp in your parents backyard, give these guys a break, kid, they actually help people out and save lives. If you're going to be a mouth-breather, do it elsewhere.

>>29409414
That's pretty fucking gnarly man. I can't say I've responded to any genital injuries like that. I'd have a field day with that shit though. I love a funny primary.

>>29409664
So here's my first story.
>EMT-B
>little over a year ago
>discharging 85m home for hospice
>end-stage chf, DNR, all that good shit
>not even sure if this guy's gonna make it home for the 20 minute car ride
>not taking vitals because I don't like to put hospice patients through that. throw the pulseox on to make sure he's not dead yet
>dude enters irregular rhythm
>AICD lights him up
>HOLY FUCK WHY DID THEY NOT DISABLE THAT
>call up online medical control and dispatch
>code-3 back to originating facility
>bring pt into ED and slide onto bed
>doctor disables AICD with magnet thing
>guy dies right there

Was a 10/10 shitshow.

>>29409414
Yea you get excited at work, it's why we are there. You just learn to not take it home or to /k/. I love my work family and my job, I just love it 1/3 of my heart and leave it for the a/b/c modified detroit 56 hour work week and not for the rest of the time.
>>29409630
Right wall oriented search or search on a tether must have not been a thing back then. Without real SCBAs, I'm curious as to when they would be in complete pitch black (assuming idlh). Interesting picture though.

>>29408838
>>29408909
You know how I know you're a newfag? It's because /k/ has always had and allowed EMT threads. Go be a spergy retard on /b/.

>>29409024
I'm part of my company's tactical casualty care group. We do warm zone operation drills rolling with PD, kicking back past SWAT but train as if the shooters are still in the area. Basically once the immediate area is clear we go in with escort. So yeah, I'm not armed and operating, but I'm clearing patients out of buildings while there's action going on.

So fuck yourself.

>>29409760
Have your faggy firefighter threads on Reddit, not a weapons bored.

>>29409770
Story #2
>be EMT
>partnered with Medic on ALS unit
>toned out to east bumfuck for a "fallen in shower, can't get up, back pain"
>get out to this tiny trailer
>go in
>400lb man, fell in shower/tub. Hit side on tub, hit back on spout. Fractured ribs, pneumo, 4" laceration on back bleeding a bit, has shit himself in the process.
>rancid diarrhea everywhere in the tub
>call for lift assist as medic does a chest decomp on him, loads him up on fentanyl
>6 man extrication from shit covered bleeding fatty out of tub
>i hop in the back, fire guy drives truck
>he manages to shit himself again on the stretcher

I have grown to hate all "bariatric" patients.

>>29409863
>faggy
>bored

Go to bed, it's past your bed time.

>>29409892
I'm on mobile, get fucked.

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>>29407776
>>29408534
>>29408741
>>29408838
>>29408909
>>29408987
>>29409003
>>29409080
>>29409144
>>29409164
>>29409863
>>29409907

Cry some more, it's amusing to me.

>>29409948
Not crying just sick of firefighters and paramedics pretending their relevant to this board. It's quite amusing knowing they're reading comprehension is such utter shit that they think "weapons" includes fire trucks and ladders.

>>29409995
>not crying
>proceeds to cry

>>29410008
Stating facts is crying? Wow, thanks for clearing that up for me dipshit.

>>29410012
>still crying

>>29410032
I'm just happy I have you butt mad enough to keep replying, you must be a fire fag haha

>>29410053
>still crying

>>29410064
> still mad enough to reply

Maybe you should go hit you're significant other since ever firefighter I've ever known has ended up getting arrested for domestic violence.

>>29410087
she likes when I do that though

>>29410096
> Still replying
> Pretending you're other is a "she"

>>29410111
she likes when I make her cry, too
almost like you

>>29410116
> Still replying
> Firefighter pretending he's fucking a women when we all know it's a man.

Lonely nights at those fire stations.

>>29410148
he likes when I rape his ass with my massive cock, he likes when I make his butt hurt
almost like you

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>>29410206
Hey look, found a pic of you on your first day as a fire fighter!

>>29410232
hahahaha, this is some great banter my friend. Perhaps you could shoot me an email and we'll continue this in private instead of ruining this quality thread? Don't worry, I'll wipe your tears and kiss you afterwards. My boyfriend likes that too

>>29410246
Quality thread? About fire trucks and ladders on a weapons bored?

what?

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>>29410260
Back at it with the great banter! Keep it up my man

>>29410276
Using memes? Are you 11?

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>>29410330

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>>29410340
Hold on, let me make this thread relevant! Hey check out this brave fire-soldier! Look at him mowing down those flames with that full auto 28mm fully adjustable H&K hose! And got look at those savage fatigues! Those would fit right in when I'm innawoods with my semi auto Zastava hose!

>>29410388
ATF
IS THAT EVEN LEGAL WITH A STAMP??

>>29410404
He's a firefighter so he's basically in the military. He doesn't need a stamp.

Holy shit, I can taste the butthurt in this thread.

>>29409233
Thank you for the kind words of advice. I'm currently volunteer but the is a large lab a few miles away that had is own private department that I wouldn't mind applying to in a few years. I'm trying not to be "that guy" by bugging the shit out of my captain but I'm eager to actually do something. I was lucky enough to ride out on a call for a head on collision a few days ago. All I did was shovel broken fender into a garbage can but it felt good to be the first one at the fire house and the first ready to go. Definitely helps that I'm a block away and I can feel the siren in my chest when it goes off, lol.

As far as why I put this thread here, it's the only place I've ever seen fire fighter and EMT threads that actually got a positive response.

Should I take a picture of the brush truck and ask how we can weaponize it?

>>29410388

Youve apparently never used a firehose before. They kick with enough force to lift grown men off the ground.

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>>29409770
I understood absolutely fuck all of that story.
Not all of us are brushed up on medical acronyms pal

>>29406362
Dad is a captain at his station here in GA. He's been to NBC schools, other hazmat schools, search and rescue, technical rescue, Nevada test site, department of state scenarios, and a million other crazy things. I'd do it to if the pay was better.

>>29406362
That's the Class A building at the Suffolk County Fire Academy in Yaphank Long Island. Been through training there plenty of times.

>>29411692
Go west. Pay sucks in south/eastern states.

I make $80,000 salaried before OT

EMT/firefighter of 3 years. I've got a few

>working EMS at a concert
>get a call for person down
>friend and I walk to general area of call
>grabbed by a teenager who says his friend passed out
>walk over to see a 15 year old girl covered in body paint who is seizing and foaming at the mouth
>boyfriend gave her some designer drug that he bought on the internet
>stops breathing in front of me
>radial pulse is gone, extremely weak pulse in her neck
>they ask is she is OK
>tell them she is fine, just passed out
>friend and I throw her over our shoulder and begin hauling ass back to the unit before she dies on our backs
>she codes on the way to the hospital but is resuscitated
>codes again in hospital
>flown to children's specialty center where she dies for good
>get a call a week later while at the dept asking for information about what happened

>>29412103
bad. bad anon. never lie to the patients family/friends.

>>29408741
Lol I bet you call non LEO "civilians" and own a chest rig.

>>29412103
>>stops breathing in front of me
>>radial pulse is gone, extremely weak pulse in her neck

> stops breathing
> barely palpable pulse


Nigger weren't you supposed to start CPR? You carried her on your back?
Maybe I'm missing details, but bruh

>>29406876
Operator? your a tool.

>>29410260
Did a big strong firefighter fuck your girlfriend or something? hahaha

>>29411851
You've got a good eye. I got the picture off of the scfa website. What department are you with?

>>29406362
>>29406876
>>29407067
>>29407150
>>29407244
>>29407413
>>29407455
>>29407634
>>29408075

Fire fighting and emt's are not /k/ related. Fuck off.

Sincerely,

All of /k/.

>>29416005
Oh holy shit! You're literally everyone on /k/?! I had no fucking idea!!! You must be another fire fag.

>>29411606
And your point being? That literally has nothing to do with weapons. Go to /fit/ if you wanna brag about how strong you are and how much you love holding powerful hoses.

>>29416179
Huh?

This thread started out as interesting and has devolved into why do I even come here anymore...but to post something useful.

>>29413817
Maybe no stretcher and by the way he described the situation it may have been better to haul ass out of that situation than be surrounded by a bunch of shit-for-brains that will "try to help" and start panicking and actually be a hindrance to doing the job. Remember, a person is smart, but people are stupid and panic easily.

And also lighten the mood with some Nurse Redheart. Not Pone what-so-ever.

>>29416203
Lolololol

>>29416005

Dude, emt threads have been accepted on /k/ since pretty close to the boards creation. Stop being autistic and just fuck off if you cannot control your illness

>>29411661
The patient had an automatic cardiac defibrillator implanted in his chest so when his heart starts being fucky, it tazes the fucker (the heart) to make it behave.

The guy was in "hospice care" which means there's fuck-all that can be done to help him. He's dying, all you can do is keep him clean and administer meds to minimize his agony until he dies. DNR means that he or his legally assigned proxy has signed a form saying "do not resuscitate" this patient. If he dies, let him die.

The trouble is, they signed a DNR and put him in hospice care but fucking forgot they'd already implated a device to keep his goddamned heart going even when everything else is failing that the heart SHOULD fail too at this point.

So they had to take the patient back to the hospice facility where they turned off the implantable device, and he went and died at that point.

I'm not bothering to proof read, so I apologize for any type-o.

>>29420066
Thank you, I was in the middle of typing a Simple English translation.

>>29420066
love it went the family says there is a DNR but cant produce one. So much anger. Sorry rules are rules...

Local cfa volunteer dat rural life.
Called to single vehicle accident two teens one doa massive trauma otherone is dying both dead before they could be freed from wreckage with ambos by their sides. Football team they played in drives past after practice to find two of their friends. That was hard.

Speed and drive like an idiot, the tree wins

>>29409995
Firefighters literally breach and clear how is that not /k/ related you autistic fuck?

>Get toned out for a nosebleed
>Roll up on crackhouse expecting some bullshit drugseeker
>60ish Male w/ AIDS lesions vomiting and coughing up blood and flesh chunks
>Basically hurl his ass into the rig
>Medic can't intubate, turns out stomach acid eroded through his esophagus into his trachea
>Put him on cpap
>Maybe we filled his stomach up with air
>ER docs try to intubate
>Pt turns into a goddamn blood geyser
>Rage virus style sprays aids infected blood vomit all over trauma team
>One med student begins the shittiest compressions ever
>The other one backs out of the room shaking, I tell her to 86 the gown and decontaminate, he looks HIV+
>Med student cries and runs away
>Went and ate flapjacks for breakfast

>>29420422
Wrote out a long response but realized I was on a Turkish carpet Web chat and you wouldn't get it anyways.

Rules and not rules and if you don't have the critical thinking skills to listen to a family about an end of life decision you have no business doing your job.

>>29420901
Wow... so tough... so brave.

You showed that med student how it's done.

>>29420901
>stomach acid eroded through his esophagus into his trachea
I didn't know that was fucking possible, christ.
uncle is captain of crash truck dept at airport, no crashes thankfully so no really cool stories, but here's one;
>tones drop, fire on the runway
>everyone gets ready for the worst fucking shit ever
>trucks roll out and fucking floor it to the end of the runway
>tug is on fire and spewing diesel all over the place
>put it out, shutdown runway so they can clean the diesel off
>still bitches about the lack of info
then there's the story from my cop neighbor about flamethrower man.
goddammit, new mexico, why are you so insane?

>>29420901
>Went and ate flapjacks for breakfast
Did you get bacon with your flapjacks anon?

>>29420901
Remind me why HIV/AIDS plague rats aren't on a quarantine island?

>>29421033
or why we don't test weapons on them.
>bikini atoll full of hiv/aids retards
>caste bravo part 2: virus boogaloo

>>29420946
I advised her to remove contaminated clothing to prevent infection. Not spreading the HIV virus all over a hospital is kind of important. What would you have done? Given her a big bloody hug?

>>29420970
>I didn't know that was fucking possible, christ.
I had never heard of it either, probably the result of all the co-morbidities there. He had cirrhosis of the liver and only one lung. Also a shit load of old track marks.

>>29421076
Wowowow....

Now it's "advised"... the bravado is all gone and now it's professionalism.

How about you drop it and come to terms with the fact that even a "med" "student" who by the way probably still knows far more than you do or ever will, doesn't need you (whatever you are) to tell him/her the obvious.

I bet you remind the doctors to get a set of vitals, because without you the fucking hospital won't function.

>>29421106
probably, but I mean damn.
dude died not long after I assume?
also anyone want flamethrower man story?

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>>29421116
Are you feeling alright? Did an EMT bang your gf or something?

>>29421137
Nope, just an EMS/FIRE veteran with over a decade in, working on grad school directly related to EMS/PUBLIC health as I continue to work as a Paramedic in a leadership and educator capacity.

I just know my place in the big picture and don't need to remind med students to decon or doctors to get a set of vitals.

>>29421124
Yes he died
Yes, please tell the flamethrower story

>>29421116
In what world do the Drs obtain vitals?

And yes, med is short for medical and student means they are going to school. Not sure why you needed the quotes. And someone who is panicking while covered in potential contaminants needs to be reminded/advised/told however the fuck you wish it to be phrased that they should not bring that shit out of the trauma room.

>>29406362
I've posted in these once before. My stepdad was a paramedic for 22 years and had a few grotesque stories he told me.

A lot of the ones he said were the worst involved severed heads. He said on one occasion they walked past 3 severed heads when responding to a car crash.

>>29421195
I figured since you do such a good job of reminding people what to do, you run the hospital. I mean that was such an important part of your story. Do you make sure to remind the nurses to wash their hands? I mean send the surgeons home. You are fucking operating man. The confidence, you got this!

>>29421177
not that guy, but holy shit I can feel the butt hurt from here. Jesus what caused that bruised pride you have going on there...

>>29421221
>>29421224
Did some emt embarrass you by reminding you of some shit you almost fucked up or some shit? Jesus Christ the austim

>be firefighter/EMT in shithole city
>come into work late
>threaten to quit
>plz don't quit anon no one wants the night shift
>get on ambulance
>yell at drunk guy in crowded gas station who is faking seizures
>take him to hospital
>nurses yell at him
>leave
>sit on roof of ambulance and smoke while stargazing
>partner forgets I am up there
>hang upside down off truck and headbutt his window
>partner screams and jumps up from his seat
>shift change hours later

Just another day desu

I spent the first hour of my shift before sunset tonight chasing geese in a flooded parking lot with the ambulance.

>>29421195
>Yes, please tell the flamethrower story
told in copbro's perspective;
>stuck on some shitty all night patrol in the ghetto
>all units all units report to pepe and anon street, need immediate backup
>lights and sirens down to the place
>vietnam veteran on top of a semi truck with an era flamethrower and helmet
>shouting "DIE YOU FUCKING DIRTY GOOKS"
>FF's on scene to put out the fires he starts
>he tries to blast the FF's
>not today motherfucker
>"sir could you please not do that we are trying to help"
>"DIE COMMIE FAGGOT"
>cops try to shoot the dude (very, very bad plan)
>dude falls over and lights himself on fire
>everyone clears out
>BOOOOM
>napalm everywhere
>flamethrower man no longer exists
>copbro was there for all of this just sort of trying to help
>counseling for all
I really feel bad for flamethrower man as he just snapped with PTSD but christ, that's just insane.

>>29421221
>Do you make sure to remind the nurses to wash their hands?
If I saw a nurse with blood or some other bodily fluid on her hands I would. Would you just let someone drip contaminated blood all over the ER?

>>29421249
Lololol

Yea, I was covered in blood and some EMT had to remind me to change. The arrogance in some of these self serving, ego boosting BLS posts further prove why no one likes EMT threads. It's a circle jerk of self importance with no humility or any indication of one being humble, the best and truly only trait any emergency worker should have first and foremost.

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>>29421284
Bet they didn't finds any surviving VC in the area though.

>>29406896
I don't mind threads like this on nighttime /k/. The profession fits in well here.

>>29421311
I cannot confirm that, however I do assume you are right.
there's still burn marks on the street around there.

>>29421289
>Has never been to a teaching hospital in July

>>29421329
How does Stanford, UCSF, Harborview Medical Center and SCC Valley sound. All level 1, all some of the best. Some of us have been doing this for a while kid.

>>29421362
Sounds like you know how to use google

Im a nursing student, you emts know the abbreviations for shit so I feel at home in this thread. Imma go wipe and change old people diapers tommorow. Last time I did it the guy shit himself 8 times and sprayed it all over the floow and walls, but he warned me so that makes it worth it. I was amazed.

>>29410260
Board, you fucking idiot

>>29421442
EMT here. I have no idea how nurses maintain their sanity. I have them for 15 minutes tops. With some patients thats plenty for me.

FF Fag for 10 years in a semi busy department.
EMT Fag for 9 years
I can answer whatever

>>29421442
If a lowly EMT pointed out that there was blood on your hands, how hard would you hit them?

>>29421485
Gross and/or horrifying calls please

>>29421495
I would thank them and go wash that shit off. Between that and cdiff I dont want that shit on or in me.

>>29421523
What department do you plan on working in?

>>29421507
Hmmm have seen tons. Anything in particular you wanna hear about. Hard to pick something as nothing is really "gross" anymore

>>29421548
what is the weirdest call you ever responded to?
not weird in the gross way, weird as in "caller has dildos hung from ceiling, bring ppe"

>>29421526
Im a disabled vet so I wanna use my veterans preference and work in a military psych ward or VA psych ward.

>>29421557
While it wasn't my call my ambulance did have someone call for a "lift assist" and when they got there the person was fine but were too fat to wipe their ass and wanted to ambulance to wipe her ass and clean her commode. As far as the fire department we VERY commonly (read basically every fire) find dildos and sex related objects. Was one in particular where we found a rather large dildo under the bed of the daughter in the house and as someone decided it would be funny to swing it around the owners of the house were walking toward the room so out the window into the driveway it went. Probably not the "weirdest" but I'm exhausted and will probably think of more later. Sorry no green text. On mobile and don't care

>>29421507
I got one

>Be volunteer EMT for small town
>Get call for elderly male complaining of abdominal pain, vomiting with blood
>Out in the boonies, 10 minute ride
>Halfway there dispatch tells us to "expedite"
>Bitchwecantgofaster.jpg
>Get on scene, cop is doing CPR
>Patient is puking up a cigarette-ash-suspended-in-olive oil-type fluid with each compression
>It's half digested blood
>Get patient into ambulance. Random mailman is doing CPR (He was a local responder coming home from work)
>12 minute ride to the hospital. No shockable rhythm. Keep doing CPR
>Get to ED. Doc takes over.
>Find out later guy had a DNR

>>29421598
Ugh working a DNR is the worst. Feels like such a waste
Did have a crew bring back a guy with a DNR, that is until the family got there and told the ER umm no stop he is a DNR

>>29420066
I have an ICD too, people stare at me when I go swimming.

>>29421588
>As far as the fire department we VERY commonly (read basically every fire) find dildos and sex related objects.
really?
i figured it was common but damn.
reminds me of a story my uncle told, where there were like 3 homeless dudes living in a grain trailer that caught fire since it was full of corn dust.

>>29421625
do you beep at the airport? (legitimate question)

>>29421571
Godspeed Anon, it's hard to hang onto your soul in places like that

>>29421631
How exactly did the fire dildos remind you of that?

>>29421631
Yea much more common than people think haha. One time I had a guy ask me once the fire was out to go retrieve a black garbage bag from his closet. Of course I opened it and it was a massive porn collection.
Another time we had an automatic alarm at an abandoned house and found literally nothing but stolen electronics and stacks and stacks of porn. VHS tapes, magazines it was everywhere

>>29421646
was the weird calls in general and that was one of them.
my thought process only ever tends to make sense to myself, don't worry.

I got a few.

>brand new emt
>working private ambulance
>bariatric discharge to home from hospital
>looks like a blob, completely formless
>wait...is that a giant set of nuts
>this lady has testicles the size of basketballs
>wat, staring in horror
>"Oh, that's my lymphadema, I call her big momma."
>I need a different adult
>bring Jabba home
>slides off stretcher, folded sheet is stuck in no man's land between taint and "big momma"
>"can you get that for me?"
>partner is closest, starts sweating immediately.
>gives it a firm yank as she's waddling into her piss covered apartment.
>nothing, it's stuck
>partner proceeds to tug on the sheet tucked into her taint like he's ringing a church bell.
>gives up, dry heaves, apologizes, and leaves.

I miss private ambulance sometimes.

>>29421646
ty, Ive been in a military psych ward and now want to work in one. Aint life a fucking circle.

>>29421639
I can't go through metal detectors or I get fried.
Its a fancy subcutaneous one that goes on my side instead of up near the shoulder.

>>29408038
ABC's NREMT for emt b is the very basics, don't over think shit.

>>29421661
>>bariatric discharge to home from hospital
it's time to get the crane
>big momma
jesus man.
I've said multiple times that if I get to 450 and above and am not trying to change that, then just kill me.
I wonder what they do in the cases of the guys that weigh like 1k pounds and shit, I get that they could probably fit in a b-ambo but I think a flatbed truck and a crane would work better.

>>29421661
>apologizes, and leaves.
lol

>>29421683
Have seen it done. Fatty goes on a flatbed. It's not pretty

>>29409414
Did you splint it?

Remember your abc's.

Assess
Broken
Cocks

>>29421659
So the three homeless men weren't sharing a giant bed of interwoven dildos? They didn't rub two together to start the grain fire?

>>29421706
i think they tried to smoke a bowl and fucked up really bad. some dildos were found and they were apparently on a whole new level of disgusting.
>>29421696
jesus, I was just fucking around.
>>29421674
oh man, I'm sorry. that must suck ass.
better than heart attacks all the time though.

>>29421696
>Buh buh buh but that violates their rights to receiving medical care. Because being fat is a medical condition, it has nothing to do with overeating. I am a strong, independent *wheeze* woman *wheeze*.

>>29421724
I have tachycardia, so if my pulse goes over 210 I get a complimentary cardio conversion.

>>29421661
Another funny one

>still private ambulance, got a year or two in me
>discharge from Veterans hospital going to nursing home
>start talking to the guy
>hates his name (edward)
>says he wants to be a woman, so the VA might actually treat him
>I assume he was joking
>ask him what his lady name would be
>"Edwina"
>without missing a beat "I thought you were trying to get rid of your weena?"
>He starts crying
>fuck, 40 minute ride

Feels bad, man.

>>29421781
>"I thought you were trying to get rid of your weena?"
god fucking dammit, /k/.
since it's 1am, if I laugh, I'll wake up the whole fucking house.

>>29421781
Another one

>call to assist another crew, two patients
>abdominal pain, and chest pain
>from fucking
>Wat
>on scene, guy is supine, holding his head, chick looks postictal, just moaning and holding her pussy
>the fuck?
>turns out the guy had brugadas syndrome and went into v-fib mid thrust
>felt it come on and knew his shock was coming
>apparently not enough time to dismount, manages to electrocute the bitch with his dick
>find out later from the girl that he started slowing down, then yelled "CLEAR" right before he got shocked.

Bitch had no idea what happened.

Guy was a frequent flier, started calling him Thor after that.

>>29407462
>>29416005
>Thinking fires don't happen on the battlefield
There's military firefighters you fucking retards. Fire is a weapon that can be used at anytime

>>29421849
>>abdominal pain, and chest pain
>>from fucking
fucking demolished that pussy.
>electrocute the bitch with his dick
>yells CLEAR before shock
jesus christ, what a fucking legend.
thor indeed.
thanks for all the stories, anon. hardest i've laughed in a while.

>>29406362
I recently finished the first round of training rosters as an ambo in sydney. Best case I got to attend was a car role over, thee fatalities, two critical. All dindus. We were there after police, and walking up to the car, which was in a few seperate pieces, we had one female piled up out the front of the car, right arm and leg severed, head decapitated. Front passenger was literally jammed up under the dashboard, dead.

We started treating the male driver with a severed left arm. As soon as we slapped a tornique on he woke up and started screaming the whole ride to hospital. At the hospital, another crew raced in with a third female. Massive internal abdo injuries, right leg was mulched from knee down. I jumped on compressions until the doctor called it.

For the record, I am ex infantry with one deployment, handful of firefights. To that faggot saying that emergency services are nothing special, you are clinically regarded. It's a different pressure, but from someone who has done both, it's just as full on.

>>29421849
I'm dead

>>29421889
Ah, I know that case. Is that the one where the cops put on the lights, the car speeds off and immediately kids a tree? The one that's make retarded people call for a ban on police pursuits?

>>29421849
It's so hard to remember my private ambulance days.

>3am
>dispatched to local shitty hospital to take a kid to a children's hospital.
>large boil on labia
>oh boy
>get to the hospital, get report and paperwork
>cute enough kid, feel kinda bad for her, in obvious pain
>mom is real dirty looking
>has a barbie pillowcase with her
>"you want the pillowcase for the ride sweetie?" Trying to make the kid feel a little comfortable.
>mom chimes in, "oh no, that's just my methadone
>simultaneous poker face with partner
>shake it off
>"I'm gonna leave this seat belt a little loose so I don't hurt your leg"
>I know it's her labia, trying to make the kid feel more comfortable
>nurse "can't take a hint" says no, it's her labia
>mom chimes in, "no, it's her PUSSY LIP."

Apparently she yelled it just in case we forgot what we were supposed to tell the doctor, and didnt know what labia was.

Poor kid doesn't stand a chance.

>>29421946
Oh jeeze. I really fucked the spelling there.

>>29421956
the fuck is methadone?
I don't know this shit at all man

>>29421977
>methadone
narcotic painkiller

>>29421977
A synthetic opioid. Basically synthetic heroin.

>>29406362
firefighters pack more heat than a compton house party im a wild lander. this happened last year.

>cutting brush for hours in washing ton on this guys property
>100 degrees in the shade
> 6 day old nomex mad crotch rot
> dig a scratch line around this niggas house
> holding line around green house full of 7foot tall weed plants
> fire eats through the sage brush and rushes down the hill
> jumps the line by the green house
> cheechandchongupinsmoke.mov
>a wild gust of wind dust the whole crew
>end up having to take the rest of the shift on standby due to whole crew being stoned

and that was the single greatest thing i have ever seen in my life. and the first thing i noticed about wildlanders is that we all OC and CC at the compound. there are tall boxes of ammo that the boss has in the squad boss building.

>>29415295
I'm pretty sure he is local PD.

You know the only thing Police and Firefighters have in common right?


They all wanted to be Firefighters.

>>29421977
Methadone is what junkies get from clinics instead of doing heroin. Still awful for you.

Another one

>still private ems, all hope is lost
>dispatched for "stomach pain"
>stomach. Pain.
>on scene, patient had recent hernia repair, also a g-tube (feeding tube placed in the stomach, it's just a hole in the abdomen with a tube full of ensure)
>mentally retarded, state care
>pulled her g-tube, ruptured her previous hernia, full evisceration
>oh god she's pulling on it, she thinks her small intestine is her g-tube.
>damp sterile dressing, soft restraints
>partner (new basic) in the most annoyed tone, "want me to take vitals?"
>"no, just drive, she's screaming and flailing" (and the blood pressures you give me are always 120 over 80 and I hate you)
>my partner (the riddler) asks if he should go priority, nervously.
>say yes without throwing lactated ringers at his head, I still need the money
>finally get there, surgical team waiting
>two doctors staring at this lady
>one dumbfounded, other looks mildly annoyed
>doctor hands the dumbfounded doc a granola bar and says, "good luck."
>walks into triage.

And that's how I saw my first evisceration.

>>29421977
It's a method acting class with clinics all over the country. It's pronounced, "method one."

You should go sometime, it's really fun.

>>29421285
Seems like he has never transported a tramua patient to a non trauma center. Those nurses are shell shocked everytime shit gets bloody and busy.

>>29422107
how the fuck could she not feel that something was clearly wrong?
I've spent a lot of time around retards, granted I was voluntold, but I'd figure they'd be able to deduce that they were pulling on their fucking intestine and stop.

>>29422154
You ever been to a state-run long term facility?

It's like the house on haunted hill, but everyone is Jamaican.

This chick was mentally retarded on top of a traumatic brain injury. Her level of awareness at baseline was described as drawing with her menstruation and screaming herself to sleep.

I imagine she thought her intestines were causing her pain, and wanted to get them out.

>>29422107
I've got a few more stories, mostly about an actual autistic emt. Interested?

>>29422242
of course we are.
or well, I am, as I assume i'm the only one checking this thread.

>>29421781
You really caught me off guard with that one. Fuck man

>>29422255
Another anon reporting lurking

>>29422255
Imagine a human ferret hybrid that makes everyone uncomfortable.

>"how are you on your feet?"
>"I don't have any legs..."
>"So?"

>asks fatty from previous story (frequent flier) why she doesn't get "big momma" cut off.
>"can't, too vascular, I'll die..."
>"So?"

Once attempted to put a 16 guage needle in an 87 year old woman with a change in mental status. Attempted twice, same needle. Before he went for it he tells her, "this is gonna hurt!"

Patient had a confirmed fracture from x-ray performed at nursing home. She's wearing a hospital Johnny. Cuts it off, tells his partner it's protocol, doesn't backboard or collar.

Calls police on 3 separate occasions for AOX4 patients that want to sign ama. Police tell him he's a moron every time.

(AO=alert and oriented, able to make informed decisions, AMA=against medical advice.)

Blasts country music as loud as possible on transports to hospice.

Doesn't "do" vomit.

Enters an ER with a patient using a BVM on himself. Tells the nurse it's because they had shortness of breath, and he had to finish his paperwork.

(BVM=Bag valve mask, the squeeze bag for respiratory arrest you see in the movies.)

Gives narcan to a patient going to hospice because, "the paperwork says they're on too many narcotics."

Responds to a fall, skull deformity, hypotension, with gross hemmorage. Says, in front of facility staff and husband "Looks like somebody tried to do a gravity test!"

Asks every girl if they're on their period. Usually by saying, "you Makin kool-aid down there or something?"

He still works for private ems. He could be transporting your grandmother to dialysis.

>>29422255
Still lurking great thread

>>29422332
mother of god.
the gravity test thing somehow cracked me up, the narcan thing made me furious.
also thanks for translating the acronyms.
I knew a dude that was an 11B turned cop, and he was one dark motherfucker.
>called to a driveby, person shot like 12 times
>buddy says that they 'died of acute lead poisoning"
>came home after responding to a call on the 4th of july, decapitation.
>comes over to my house to get some of the steak I was making
>tells me about this decapitation while eating a rare steak with his fucking bayonet he used in the sandbox
>didn't care.

>>29422332
And here's the story of how the stars aligned, and a pot brownie saved a life.

>chick brings in pot brownies for everyone for after work
>usual partner called out that day, never tried them, was excited about it
>fuck it, I'll take it and save it for him
>don't usually smoke or eat weed, girlfriend is a huge pothead
>brownie survives being around her
>give it to my buddy the next day at work
>eats it at end of shift
>he wakes up to 5 missed calls, 30 mins late for his shift
>staying at his parents because his wife is a cunt
>calls dispatch, still high as a kite 8 hours after eating it
>tells them to just send his partner with the truck to his parents house, (right up the street)
>partner pulls into driveway, buddy stumbles outside, uniform half on
>buddies dad walks to doorway, yells that somethings wrong
>full blown grand Mal seizure, stops breathing, thready pulse
>buddy is instantly sober, starts working his own dad
>if he wasn't late for work, his dad would be dead
>gets him back, has to transport his own dad to the er

And that's how a pot brownie saved a life.

>>29422182
> her intestines were causing her pain, and wanted to get them out.

Why isnt this the basis of all modern medicine?
> Doctor Doctor, I have back pain!
> Vamouse! Back be gone!

>>29422422
>get STD
>have dick removed by a russian with a rusty mosin bayonet and a 5th of vodka, which he is drinking from, to sterilize the area

>>29422433
What other way would you want to go?

>>29422438
probably by airborne with a ka-bar and whiskey while singing cadences, and maybe a touch of morphine just to make things interesting.

>>29422372
Ex military in EMS are usually pretty bro tier. Only met one I didn't like, and he had "medical discharge."

He whines so much that the ongoing joke is his discharge is from his vagina.

Another one

>working on medical examiner truck
>pick up the usual hanging here and there
>dispatched to help extricate a brother and sister (dead on scene) from an mva (car accident)
>car looks like a smashed asshole, prius vs semi, head on after jumping jersey barrier
>see legs
>pull legs
>I now have legs in my hand, not attached to body
>feel kinda bad, sister was visiting brother
>check for ID, find meth, 6 grand in cash

Turns out she was big in DC for LGBT rights. Was blowing her brother when he lost control of the car. Didn't feel bad after.

>>29422463
jesus man.
any more stories from the ME rig?
kinda have a morbid curiosity with that shit.
I knew one dude who drove a garbage truck and was roadkill catcher to make ends meet, he found quite a few bodies.

>>29416005
Mate just shut the fuck up honestly

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>>29406362
>Joined my local fire department
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2fmZ2C2CdA

>>29422470
Yes, but they're all horrible.

>wellness check
>guy died in his tub, 3 weeks ago
>tub is filled with a bloated man, maggots forming, weird liquid all over the floor (water and whatever leaked out of him)
>every time we try to pull him out his flesh just slides off
>partner slips in goo, vomits, and runs off

We wound up using a wet vac to suck up most of the fluid in the tub, then smushing a KED board behind him to slide him into the bag. (Imagine half a backboard that's a little more flexible)

>why didn't you just drain the tub?!

It was clogged with melted flesh, and I'm not sticking my arm in that shit.

The smell does not go away. I had to burn my clothes.

>>29421284
Was there also this epic party going on down the street?

>>29422492
horrible ones are the best.
you know, in situations like that, maybe burning down the house and everything within 20 yards of it is acceptable.
we had a guy here try to use a mk2 grenade as a prostate simulator, except it didn't fit with the spoon and pin on, so he pulled the pin and shoved it in his ass.
he didn't live too much longer after that.

>>29422463
>Was blowing her brother when he lost control of the car.
So he nutted but she was still sucking?

>>29422492
Another one, not funny or anything. Just a view of what you have to do sometimes.

>man plays chicken with train
>surprisingly, train wins
>given a bucket and a shovel
>have to patrol a couple miles of rail, scooping up pieces
>wound up playing "guess what body part this smashed piece of bone and flesh came from"
>doesn't matter, in the bucket you go

Also, be careful about cleaning blood off of cement. It absorbs some, and when it gets cold the blood gets squeezed out.

This lady thought her house was haunted by her husband after he blew his brains out in the garage. Turns out it was just cold out, and blood started pooling where he died. Lady had a nervous breakdown.

>>29422509
>>surprisingly, train wins
what a fucking shocker.
had that happen a few times here.
i've worked for the railyard a bit, and when they get a train that hit something (cow, deer, person) they have a special siding (a side track for holding shit) with a powerwasher and some serious PPE.
seen many a antler stabbed into the BNSF logo.

>>29422506
No visible semen, but to be honest it was all a mess. We did find a bit of his cock in her mouth though. Turns out he's jewish.

Other than his impromptu briss, and the fact that his spine was in a different spot inside his body, he was mostly intact.

>>29422517
>and the fact that his spine was in a different spot inside his body
after that happens, how much of your body can be left, realistically speaking?

>>29422517
Fucking glad these degenerates died. Fucks like them lobby for incest and pedoshit to be legalised as well.

>>29422524
Well, it was still mostly inside his body, just in a different spot.

The car must have hit the semi roof first, because he was crumpled from the top down, with his c-spine fully visible through his left shoulder.

I keep wondering if she bit his dick when they hit the jersey barrier, or when they hit the semi. Imagine that going through your head right before you die.

"I just got my dick bit off because my sister was blowing me while im crashing my car and now I'm going to die."

>>29422538
surprised his c-spine survived.
I'm not medically trained, but i'm more engineering trained, and the forces involved should've turned the dude into human jello.
you guys deal with some fucked up shit.

>>29422550
It was visible, not really intact. It looked like someone made a snake inside out and tried their best to push it into the side of their neck.

I was just glad his legs didn't come off.

>>29422530
I don't actually know if he was jewish. It was mostly a joke about how his sister bit the tip off.

But yeah, degenerates man.

>>29422610
Not the anon you're talking to, but is it the sort of thing you either have the stomach for or you don't, or do you develop the stomach for it? I think I could get past the tragedy of gruesome calls, but I don't know if I could actually the blood.

>>29408324
>start at $14.75
it's funny, because I make that stocking groceries, with no education.

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>>29422332

Ooh I've got a story about one of those too (Not US)

>he's a recently graduated student paramedic doing his internship.
>bit..odd
>asked pregnant women 'so what does it feel like to lactate?'
>didn't get offered a job

>>29422617
I guess it can be learned. It gets easier to deal with smells and gore as time goes on, but if you're the type to faint at blood or you don't "do" vomit your partner will hate you.

>>29422701
Jesus...it makes me uncomfortable knowing that these people have jobs somewhere doing this.

>>29420422
>now wife's mom has heart attack
>makes it to hospital, stabilized
>brother and aunt show up
>oh she's not going to get better, she's too sick, we should DNR her
>wife tells them to go fuck themselves
>10 days later she walks out with a pacemaker

>2 years later she gets sick, pancreatitis or something
>aunt tells hospital she didn't like doctors and shit, not to give her anti pneumonia shot or some shit, because she's on a vent
>also says they have a DNR
>wife shows up, finds out about shot, flips shit and tells them to give it to her, aunt is retarded and not allowed to make medical decisions
>tells nurse there is no DNR, and not to let anyone tell her there is
>brother and aunt now claim they have a signed DNR order from mother
>wife has medical insurance company fax hospital their records that clearly show she has a will to live
>brother and aunt never produce shit
>hospital refuses to let brother and aunt have any say

so yeah, thanks man.

this isn't even half the story either, and the women was literally thousands in debt so it's not like they where going to get money or anything.

>>29422734
No signed dnr, you get worked. Expired? You get worked.

It's my license vs their feelings. Perfect example of why you work all codes unless you have a signed dnr. Families are nuts.

>>29421116
Was an EMT paramedic, now a medical doctor. New doctors know fuck all about anything, med students know even less. You're a faggot.

>>29406896
I'm pretty new to it but I've noticed that there aren't many firefighters/EMTs who don't own weapons. Just in my first few months I've noticed that this job puts you in contact with the worst kind of fucking savages. A lot of EMTs and Firefighters are ex-military.

>>29421877

>movinggoalposts.gif

fuck off with your faggy firefighter bullshit

RN here

You guys da real MVP. Keep up the good work.

>>29413817

Yea no. The unit was roughly 200 feet away and I didn't exactly have a bag valve mask. Better to get her back to the equipment than to do needless CPR in front of a bunch of panicked teenagers.

Here's another story for you

>get called for a life status questionable at 6am
>walk into house, see male in his early 20s on the floor
>guy is cold to the touch
>vomit is sprayed out his nose and mouth
>piece of corn on his open eye
>heroin needles lying nearby, pink Floyd dark side of the Moon is playing from a vinyl
>dad standing over his son calling his name and saying Jesus is here. Jesus will help you
>do first compression, vomit launches from orfices like a geyser and hits paramedic in the chest
>intubate and bag him
>about to call it when we get a return of circulation
>take him to local ER while doing shitty compressions in the back of a moving ambulance
>ER doc takes him for 5 mins and calls it there

I'm glad there's a place to post about ems of /k/. Reddits ems border is straight fucking cancer

>>29416005
Kill youself

Sincerely,
All of 4chan and your mom

>>29408534
Lmao implying they arent physically the most operationally trained from the weight of their gear to force of action, battle buddies formed around a paramilitary hierarchy battalion commander chiefs etc. Running around an obstacle course in bunker gear breathing air definitely prepared me for running around in a plate carrier and my plates weigh way less.

>>29407462
Pig Detected.

>>29407859
Go talk to someone at a local station. Most people will be happy to talk and help you fill out an application.

>>29422641
I'll bet you also don't have to work 24 hour shifts and get screamed at by crazy people covered in literal shit.

>>29424443
Volunteer first and get your EMT card.

>>29423496
No narcan?

>>29408909
Implying the medic in city swat teams isn't a firefighter captain. Implying they're not operator as fuck. They train in everything with swat just like swat.

>>29421849
Holy fucking Christ, my sides just underwent nuclear fission.

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Worked at an airbase as a contractor for a long while. Quiet some days, endless hours otherwise, but folks were usually pretty safe. However:

>Large complex fire, been on it for four days
>Hot loading tankers sun-up to sundown
>New captain doing captain things, decides he wants to marshal the next plane in
>Does it fine, loads finished, turns to check other aircraft pits behind him
>Backs up while looking
>Turns around
>He's a foot and a half away from a moving prop
>mfw our newest captain almost decorated the runway on his 4th day

Dude nearly shit himself, and rightfully so. You don't turn your back on a flying buzzsaw and start wandering around.

>>29425666
>4 days
>complex fire
holy shit was the whole fucking base on fire or what?

>>29426166
Wildland. He loads planes... his story is actually boring.

I had a good day at nursing school clinicals today.
>Got a patient to cooperate that hated everyone except me
>Wiped his ass while talking about trump, Murica and other shit might of been NASCAR
>Typical gypsie like family was visiting other PT in the same room
>When I went to get a diaper the gypsie family was in the hallway
>Gypsie mother with kid told me I should of informed them the dude shit himself cause the smell bothered the baby
>Think to myself not your buisness, against PT rights probably
>I go "Its ok babies do it too" in a kind sweat voice, walk away
>Single mom CNA with trust issues gives me her # to get high
>Have a massive hard on for her
>She looks like one of those anime cartoon chicks with the curly hair

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>>29426340
In 6 years, that was the most exciting thing that happened. Airbase life is boring shit, but the work was steady, at least.

>>29420946
>>29421116
>>29421221
Faggot

Holy fucking shit, some of these stories...

I haven't laughed this hard in a while.

>>29408075
>cut something blind
>not prying down to metal to make sure you don't cut through any hardened steel/cables/airbags/cylinders etc

>>29408741
Lots of things don't get dispatched correctly. I've been called to a car wreck that ended up being a dude being shit and robbed in the head.

Also emt shit is gay as fuck. Fighting fires is where it's at. Luckily I live in a poor as fuck area that still burns shit down a lot.