She breaks into your house and is trying to kill you. What do?

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>>28501803

>>28501803
kill her then call amber lamps

grab her, tie her up in the basement, you know what comes next

>>28501816

/rape

Oops I meant /thread.

I take the airsoft gun out of her hands, tell her to call her parents to come pick her up, then ask her if she wants to sit down and watch my bebop box set with me while we wait.

I capture her and recruit her. Train her further, and then we can be a little operator team with rainbows and butterflies and we'll live happily ever after.

>>28501873
Kek

>>28501829
She eats the eggs?

>>28501873
But she's 19

>>28501803
try my hardes not to get shot and not kill her so i can rape her.

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>>28501873
>>28501935
shit, forgot picture

>>28501803
Stock up on lube and Pocky

>>28501803
Shoot her as she struggles to lift up the rifle that's thicker than her arm

>>28501917
All of them! >:D

>capture in net gun
>discard rifle
>mindbreak rape
>snugglefuck for eternity

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>>28501803
>Teleport behind her
>unsheath my cock
>nothin personal m'lady

>>28501803
shoot that subhuman in its mutilated face and remember pearl harbor

Subdue, interrogate, assimilate and conquer

>>28501803
punch her in the face for making those stupid anime faces. wtf they have to make these dumb faces trying to look uber kawaii and it only makes them look dumb.
just act normal for christs sake japanese girls are naturally cute with any normal expressions.
when they try to look or act cutesy it just looks ridiculous

>>28501829

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNkwKR04tPQ

>>28502023
personnel*

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I'd have consensual sex with her in the missionary position, if you catch my drift.

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I pull out a squid and while she drops to the ground in shame to lick it, begin shitting on her while 15 other men who have been masturbating in another room this whole time come out to blow successive loads all over her while someone in an editing bay two rooms over overlays silly sound effects and kanji-filled text bubbles all over the screen to induce the audience (who are all mic'd and on camera) to react. Also there's probably one tall, black American male standing around somewhere who nobody understands but exists solely as an oddity in their timid, porcelain world.

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>>28501803
I'd demand her to hand over the oni-chans

>>28502051
You sound triggered by asians.

>Call cops
>Peer through blinds at what the hell could possibly not kick my front door after trying 20 times
>Open front door as she tries to kick it for the 37th time
>She collapses into a pile on my entryway mat
>Kick gun away
>take knife off her as she frantically paws at the casing
>Headlock when she gets up
>Cops show up
>Miranda rights
>Cuff her, into the squadcar she goes
>Cops shoot neighbor's yappy Chihuahua as they drive off
>10/10, would call cops again
>Proceed to fingerfuck my new AR and explore the midget size load bearing gear

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>>28501829
A tactical tea party?

>>28502180
I love guns man, but that's just a new level of gay statism.

>>28501803
Tell her to ditch that stupid front heavy AR. AR's are not supposed to be the weight of battle rifles.

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>>28502182
Best show ever.

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Yell at those damn kids for playing airsoft on my property. Call their parents if it should continue.

>>28501950
is that a real gun?

>>28502864
No
I don't think you can get an AR-15 in taiwan

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>>28501803

She meets my guard dog Clara.

>>28502220
>>28502182
sauce?

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>>28503107
Sabagebu

>best girl

>>28503140
>Sabagebu
just decided what im watchin tonight, thanks

Convince her that she needs to rape me.

Before or after she kills me doesn't really matter.

>>28501950
Almost certainly a trap

>>28501803
>Peer through blinds at ineffectual door kicking
>take position near fatal funnel
> flinch at eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee induced by her shooting the door glass to be able to unlock it
> ambush with Tommy Knocker (pickaxe handle), disarm and subdue, hopefully without compound fractures
> acquire another AR, a PEQ, and a crawlspace pipe ornament.

>>28503394
She's not a trap, and that gun she has is airsoft
>Double disappointment

>>28503259

You'd better prepare your sides.

>>28501971
Then she's definitely not going to be able to handle my dick

>>28501803
Jokes on you. I already have a crazy ex who wants me dead. She probably outside my house right now with a gun. She would kill that Asian grill before she even breached my house.

>>28501803
how do I know that's not actually a dude

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>Leave door open
>Hide behind it
>Wait for her to step inside
>Kick her behind the shins
>Sit on her shoulders
>Wait for her to pass out
>Remove gun, harness, and clothes
>Tie her to my bed
>Tie flag around my neck
>Penetrate her anally
>Only say "This is for Manila"
>Wonder if she's actually Japanese
>Repeat anyway

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>>28504679
>say "This is for Manila"

>>28504667
>Not man enough to dom another man
>Not giving him tits by pulling on his nipples
>Not putting mascara on him to see it run when you facefuck him
>Not making him tuck and diddling the new slit
>Not making him cum by fucking the fold from in front and behind
>Not tenderly frenchkissing him, feeling him moaning into your mouth
>Not making him little spoon, and enjoying it when he rubs his butt against you
>Not savoring the look of shame and need when he asks you to fuck again

>>28501935
>>28501873
Give the guy a break, she's asian, it's literally impossible to tell if they're 15 or 35.

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>>28504862

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>>28504679
>"This is for Manila"

>>28503959
Of course anon, not even the smallest of asian females have hands tiny enough to handle your nano dick

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>>28501816

>>28501873
Fon't forget to feed her a bowl of eggs.

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>>28501803
PUNISHer

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Well you sir owe me a coffee and a keyboard

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>>28506171

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Wait for her to stop shooting me with airsoft BBs and play tanks with her

Watch her get mauled by Rottweilers with a slight chub

>>28501803
>she

>a frail cosplayer tries to kill you
I guess I'd have to kill her

>>28502947
>he names his guns
Absolute faggotry

>>28502094
Absolutely disgusting. Almost as gagging as hand holding.

>>28501890

Maybe it's the booze talking right now, but I think I'm gonna implement your plan on a gal I know.

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>>28501803
Out of principal I rape everyone that breaks into my house.
She would be a welcome change of pace from the niggers that usual break in.
>Mfw the rape used to deter them
>Mfw the last three times someone broke in were the same guy.
>im starting to wonder if he is really coming to rob me or not.

>>28507517
Kek'd

>>28507410
You know trombley, if you keep talking to your gun like its trim everyone's going to know you're a complete fucking psyco

>>28507517

p sure he's just coming, anon

>>28501803
Remind her that breaking and entry and murder is against the law and see her out the front door

>>28501803
probably throw her out the window i live on the fifth

I punish-her of course

>>28503544
>crawlspace pipe ornament
Classy. I'm remembering that one.

>>28501803
Knock her out, carry her to the couch.

Begin to boil eggs.

Well I'm going ask my Chinese aunt to interrogate her in hopes of trying to establish a healthy relationship with her
>tfw I'll never pull off being able to establish a relationship with a person via smartphone translators

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>>78899545
This is the only game I play.

>>28503394
That's not going to stop me, anon/

>>28501803

Compliment her on her shoes, then put a 3" #4 buck she'll through her knee protector.

Then ask her if the knee pad was protective enough.

Then we are eating hibachi BBq tonight lads

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>>28501803
Ambush her at gun point and try to convince her to give up because it would be a waste if I had to shoot her.

If she tries to turn around real quick to shoot me she gets a face full of .45 acp

>>28501803
>>28501950
Is it me or is her nose kinda fucked up?

>>28510491
It's really far down her face.

>>28501803
Beat the shit out of her with a dragon dildo of course

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>>28504679
>this is for manilla

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>>28504862
This is correct

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Misato is so hot and has such good taste in guns.

>>28503107
holy shit cancer

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>>28503107
Sabagebu

>>28502026
Highly underrated

I firmly believe doing an Asian chick is the closest thing to having sex with an ayy.

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>>28511419
Better call Nasa because this ayy has abducted my heart

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>>28511434
After ten minutes of struggle, you have finally subdued your pixie sized intruder and trussed her up like a pig. She is much stronger than she seems, and you find out you're dealing with a 300 year old succubi.
As the legends say, the succubi are immortal and completely immune to all weapons, healing physical injuries in split seconds. The only way to defeat a succubi is to forcefully rape her, stealing her power.

As you take scissors to her clothes, she says, "I know what you're planning, but you can't rape the willing."
And smiles at you

What now?

>>28501803
I die laughing.

Mission accomplished I guess.

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>>28511434
sause pls

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>>28511600
the most amazing sexcapade in the last 1000 years

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>>28511600
Just because they heal instantly doesn't mean they don't feel pain...

>>28511600
See if I can stick it in the wound before it heals and learn what it feels like.

>hear banging on my door
>look outside, see some fucking chink jap gook monstrosity
>look at picture of grand pappy on the wall
>"mother of god, not again" grab M2 Flamethrower I have just for this exact occasion
>walk down stairs carefully because i have a fucking bomb strapped to my back
>at door, ask "haven't you had enough, we nuked you twice"
>hear some dumbass voice that's sounds like its from one of those jap cartoons the punks like to watch
>open door
>start throwing my glorious sticky hot load all over her
>she's screaming in pain and horror
>as she gasps for her last breaths, I say
>you took my harbor
>you took my Arizona.
>you took my favorite image website
>but you will not take me
>look of intense rage on her face
>see neighbors staring at the mess of flame and jap
>hear sirens in distance
>drop thrower, take out muh forty five and a hand grenade
>police arrive, I shout "REMEMBER THE ALAMO" then I open fire

>>28511600
Cement her mouth shut and throw her in the fucking basement.

>>28512607
>your move mister japman

>>28502023
>that pic
Of course they're French

>>28503394
>Almost certainly a trap
4chan has ruined me. i think everyone is a trap now.

>>28512607
Godspeed anon, Godspeed

>>28501803
I'd slam that dust cover close and teach her the fundamentals of direct impingement. With my dick.

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>>28511434
I used to post ayy in every kpop thread

>>28501803
I get her into a position where it would be easy to charge and disarm her. Since she probably only weighs like 100 lbs, that wouldn't be hard. I tackle her down, put her into a chokehold until she passes out. I then drag her down into the basement and handcuff both her arms to the wall, tie her legs in a frogtie position and have her wear a gag. I then wait until she wakes up and come down there. I come down and put a couple of vibrators in her. Through a steady regiment of discipline and torture, I break her mentally and turn her into an obedient sex slave after a couple of months.

Shoot her fer trespassing

>>28512607
>mfw your flamethrower blows up because you didn't clean it after fucking yourself in the ass with the nozzle.

A common mistake.

>>28511434
where is the sauce my man

...ask her to give me the little death?

>light her on fire
>cqc into
>helicopter abduct
>declare waifu

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>>28512607

>>28507464
My plan is platonic

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>>28512718
>after a couple of months.
Weak.
Proper men do it after one session of proper sexings

>>28512718
this reminds me of the "all the eggs" image.

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I'd just beat her with a stick.

>>28501803
Yell "GOOK IN THE WIRE"
>BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
>PING

>>28503544
>>28508362
Forgive me for being dense/autistic, but what's the significance of "crawlspace pipe ornament?"

I get that it's referring to the girl, but I'm lost otherwise.

>>28515912
means she will be chained to a pipe in the crawl space and/or riding his pipe (benith)

>>28516145
Shit, it all makes sense now. Thanks, anon.

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Kill her and then invade her country of origin.

>>28513615
Made me think of the video of the black nugget running naked from his fat black mom that was gonna whoop him with a toy light saber.

>>28515262
that guy in the back
>the fuck? .....

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>>28515262
Is that who I think it is

>>28516653
picture is too grainy to tell if he's wearing Dockers

>>28501803
Put on my ESS and watch her trying to kill me with her 200 fps Japanese airshit gun.

>>28501803
Shoot her square in the chest with my A4gery and M193 cause I know for a fact there aren't real plates in there.

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>>28501803
Disamr her and rap with her er I mean rape her

>>28511600
>he only way to defeat a succubi is to forcefully rape her, stealing her power.
You can trick her into getting into a contract with you that you can opt out of and she can't.
Now you have a slave/pet that has mad pussy game and won't suck your soul through your balls.

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>>28501816
For her or for me?

Teach her the basics of CQC

>Disarm her
>choke her out
>tie her to a chair

Call the police while i rub my balls and dick on her feet

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>>28518094

/k/ommando issue is a cock gag. Ball gag goes on the enemy.

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>>28501803
Da fuck kinda question is this? anyone tries to kill you needs to be dispatched immediately with deadly force, unload magazine to the center mass or place a straight stabs to the center mass or curving motion slice to the limbs. Idc if its a cute bitch or a hideous tranny, they will be dead if they show murderous intent to my life.

>>28503107
Sagagebu
FYI it's all airshit

>>28501803
>not shooting her in the pussy and picking up the bits and jerking off with them.

>>28501803
Kill her. No mercy when someone's trying to kill me.
[spoiler]Plus lolitas are retarded[/spoiler]

>>28518736
How is the cock gag.

Solid construction?

>>28501803
shoot him

>>28519176
>lolitas
But she's not.

>>28501803
Shoot her

Asian looks like a fucking tranny

I don't fuck trannies
Or most asians

>>28502273
That gun in your pic is airsoft too

>>28512466
End up being 'assimilated'..

>>28519340

This particular one is pretty nice, yeah.

>>28501803
dat airbrush tho

>>28513204
>As if he didn't want that to happen.

>shriek "GOOKS IN THE WIRE!"
>unload .45
>call cops
>go back to jacking off to asian porn

>>28525506
>not dinks in the wire
confirmed not 'Nam vet.

>>28504679
top kek

Shoot her in the pelvis.

>>28501803
Ask her where her eyebrows are

>>28501803
>>28501816
>>28501829
>>28501960
>>28502004
>>28502023
>>28504679
>>28511600
>>28517513
>>28517539
These niggers got it right.
>>28507517
Same desu senpai

>>28526382
I just noticed that

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>>28501803
Aquire a banjo

>>28501803
Beat her dumb asian fuck face in with the butt of my M1.

>>28501803
slap her, take rifle, call her parents.

come get your fucking child, and stop letting her play with airsoft guns.

>go back to my room
>go on 4chins
>"hey guys check out this super oper8er rifle i just got"
>shit all over ARG

>>28527761
Would this commence?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSggtXbusdE

>>28510863
This right here is what made me want the USP when I was a teen.

Bought one as my first gun.

>>28528224
It could've been worse, you could have bought a gun that didn't exist or was actually shit because of some animu.

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>>28501803
Ask my self, "What would Rance do?"

>>28501803
let's turn this murder into a rape