How would you defend your home against these hardened criminals?

>>28284213
A gun. Nice shitpost.

>>28284213
A giant rude goldberg machine that uses bowling balls

>>28284213
Zany traps.

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Wrong house mother fucker

Id redo the tin can nutbuster from the balconies, but with bear traps this time.

give a 10 year old boy 5 dollars to make traps for me

>>28284213
I'd tell Joe Pesci that Stacks Edwards doesn't live here.

>>28284213
Put an Ant Man on every access armed with ars and explosives. Then I'd go eat a pizza waiting for the news reports about white supremacists attacks in my neighborhood.

>>28284213
Something along these lines anyway...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PPqAVhtYg8

>>28284213
With my army of underage boys that I keep in the basement.

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>>28284213
hire their doppelgangers to defend my home

>>28284213
marbles on the stairs, a hot doorknob, swinging paint cans...shit like that.

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My blank stare

>>28284213
Rube Goldberg-esque booby traps

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>>28284213

From what I understand, most castle doctrines don't cover traps. So you would actually be more legally safe to use a gun.

Apply the "Your move, mister lawman." pic to these guys.

>>28285557
Castle law doesn't but you cant just set up traps there are many legal cases against this.

For instance a famer put up a "shotgun door" t protect his mason jars that were kept in a shed.

Homeless guy breaks in and gets rekt by "shotgun door" legs cut of at the knees.

>>28284213
Show them that this movie was the high point of their carriers.

Call the police on my cell phone because it's 2015. Wait in a locked room until every cop in my small town shows up within 5 minutes because they never get to do anything exciting.

A gun. Or bear traps.

>>28284374
>tfw Joe Pesci's character and Stacks were bestfriends
:(

>>28284213
Put on my balaclava and leather gloves, "sneak" towards the burglar and whisper to them "I was here first, find another house!". Burglars code stipulates that they leave as I was there first

>>28287708
This.
Respect the fucking code.

>>28284213
Hot door knobs and toy cars on the floor.

>do nothing
>watch as they find new and inventive ways to fuck themselves up

It's like half of you are underage and don't know about a classic 90s movie.
Oh wait

>>28284213
Lay out a door mat that says "Please remove shoes."
>Replace all the floors with Lego bricks.

>>28284223
Yeah like that's gonna help you at all. Do you know who you're dealing with here? These guys are basically looney toons and you think a gun is going to help you

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>>28287791

feelsbadman

>>28284213
when i was a kid i would probably trap my doors with shotgun shells, now i would probably just offer them a beer at gunpoint lol

>>28284213
I jerk em off to make them soft again.