scenario time, part lll

>>28036116
I'd wonder why I'm in the hallway since I have a bathroom attached to my bedroom.

>>28036128
Then you chose to get up to eat something...

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>>28036116
My bathroom is in my bedroom... I'm a full grown man in a house that I own.

My staircase creeks noticeably, so if notice. My wife and I would be armed and ready by the time implied asshole made his way upstairs.

Long story short, that motherfucker would have 18 new black talon implants.

>>28036169
but hst is better than black talon

>>28036116
Run quickly back to bedroom and grab my .357 magnum off nightstand. Take defensive, kneeling position behind bed, gun aimed at doorway. If dude with hammer tries to enter, I light him up. Dudes downstairs will obviously bolt when they hear hot .357 magnum loads lit off in a small house. Call 911. My state has castle law. I can't be charged or sued in civil court. Done.

>>28036188
No argument there. But I have 6 boxes of black talons to get thru.

>>28036217
can I have one?

>>28036116

I've got a stick with ice auger blades attached and decking screws in it.

>>28036116
Why is this guys ankle broken?

I always said I would just light him up with the shotgun, but after thinking about it, I'd probably try to taze him in the back and then hit him in the bed with a bat.

The reason is that I really don't want to be shooting in my house. Had a friend with a break in, and he shot the guy that broke in, and it went into the wall and broke the copper water line and flooded the walls before he could get to the main cut off in the yard

>>28036269
You sir, win the retard award for the Internet today.

>>28036269
>fuck this guy could kill me
>I'm more concerned about water damage to my house though

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>>28036116

>>28036260
This, wtf is going on with his left foot?
>>28036116
And shit idk, I'd try to creep back to my bedside gun before he spots me

>>28036738
Exactly.

Ye old one in ten thousand chance of hitting the water line. Better risk my life over some water damage. KEK

>>28036269
>taze him in the back and hit him with my metal bat in the back
Yah I think I'd knock him out and start my rape dungeon too

>>28036116
I shoot him.

Because I always have a gun either on me or within reach.

Always.

>but-

ALWAYS.

>yeah but-

ALWAYS
L
W
A
Y
S

>>28036116
>run back in room
>grab 1911 under mattress
>turn of safety
>plug their blackhead nose pores with my 45 acp

>>28036861
> turn off* safety
Your safety is electric?

>>28036116
Well I'm in noguns Canada at the moment. Waiting for my license paperwork. I have a ka-bar by my bed, so my only option would be to run, sneak back grab that. Since I'm in nogunz land, I doubt my attackers would have any firearms. So depending on whether or not they're aware of me being awake, I'd either try my best to go full fucking crazy ass caveman on his ass and try to stab him through the heart. I'd probably go for that either way. I have 2 dogs, so I doubt anyone in the right mind would break into my house anyways.

>>28036116
300 Blackout suppressed SBR with 2 40rd mags coupled together + a desire to legally kill a nigger breaking into my house. I win.

>>28036116
a. why is he standing weird? if he is coming up the stairs he is contorted foreward at an angle that hints at physical disability.

b. why is his back foot turned sideways. for that matter, why is it rolled foreward at the bottom of the shin?


to answer your question, id help this poor person along, as it is obvious to me he is in need of medical assistance and has wondered into my house seeking help. the shovel is probably to aide in walking due to his injuries/impairments.

Jump back in my room, load the 42rnd mag in my ar, and confront

>>28036116
>What do you do?

Here's my problem. The hallway is linear with the stairs, so that motherfucker can run right up on me and unzip his dick. So either I hoof it to my shotgun and engage in a clubbing duel with him, or I keep an AK magazine loaded in my nightstand because that bitch is faster to ready for parties.

>>28036269
The thought of anyone trying to do this made me laugh my ass off. Thanks anon.

>>28036230
I have 5 boxes of 9mm and 4 boxes of 45.

PM me what you want and your address.

>>28036811
I like this guy's style. Has this even been done? Someone breaks into a house and the home owner has some murder costume and a melee weapon and fucks up or scares the attacker away?

>>28036116

I don't have stairs. Intruders asphyxiate and die because they're underground. I go back to bed.

>>28036116

why is there a light on the floor. that's a weird place to put a light.

>>28036901
if you are canadian then he is just coming in to apologize and is letting you know he will shovel off your driveway as payment for said apology.

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>>28036858
What if you're like, in the shower or taking a bath? You should have a gun on the ceiling.

>>28037185
>this year.
>not knowing about shower guns.

>>28037185
>taking a bath

But if I'm in the shower it's on a shelf above my towel rack, which is within arms reach.

>>28036858
>>28037202
Pa pa pa pa pa paranoid!

>>28036901
>Since I'm in nogunz land, I doubt my attackers would have any firearms.
>Implying criminals fire gun laws

>>28037200
No I do, I can't find the video though. I doubt there are lots of people that do it though.

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>>28036116
>stairs
HOLY FUCK WHOSE HOUSE AM I IN

>>28037222
Where the fuck do you think we are?

(say i dont have 2 large dogs, that when theres a knock at the dog bark so nuts it leaves you shaken still after years of being use to it)...

Just about everynite I practice sword swings and thrusts with a multitude of hand holds using a chinese dadao. (I listen to some music before bed and its just what I do)

I would most likely charge the intruder to make the first punch with an upward swing to the gut using two hands. while hes impaled, I go grab my 870 and tell him the games over and that im calling the police. That if he moves an inch i shoot.

Granted I would most likely just pick up my shotty but the dadao asks for blood. & its getting impatient

>>28036116
>What do you do?
Tell the wife to guard the baby in the nursery with the Glock 21 & call 911
>What do you use to defend yourself?
Stag AR15 with ACOG, Streamlight Strion light & 223 77gr Sierra OTM. I guard the stairs as it seems the one bogey just walked downstairs after looking at the 2nd floor.
>How fucked are you?
Not really, unless they have guns too. If it's just the OP pic then I'm going to stop hammer time.

>>28037185
>not using a showerproof gun

WEW LAD
E
W

L
A
D

>>28037226
If they can afford illegal gats in yuropoor-lands, they don't need to rob houses

>>28037120
Kek

First i yell at my lazy Dog for not noticing the Intruder. Then i use the Holland Holland, either as a pole arm or to blow the intruders head into Orbit.

Wonder how he's in the basement, especially because I have EM locks and solid core steel doors

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>>28036116
>walk out from bedroom to bathroom
>hear dindus creeping up the steps
>sneak back to room
>grab my Glock 17 and my three mags loaded with 9mm guard dog ammunition
>tell gf to call 911 while I give her the Bersa .380
>announce that I'm armed, the cops are on the way, and that I won't pursue them if they leave right now

From there, it's on them. If niggas wanna act a fool, they will be removed without remorse. If they run, well, they'd better be able to run fast since my police station's response time is pretty fast

>>28038569

>police
>fast response time

Sides currently in orbit

>>28036116
Looks like my roommate drunkenly going downstairs with a hammer.

I'll deal with it in the morning.

>>28038729
you obviously live in bum fuck middle of nowhere or have never actually called the cops with a real emergency.
the best time ive seen was when i saw someone break into my neighbors place. cops where there in well under 4 mins. and not just 1 car a few.

>>28038852
>4 mins
>when someone is in your house

watch the clock right now for 4 minutes and tell me that's fast enough

>>28038861
no thats why there is a glock on my night stand.

>>28036116
Glock 22 .40 on the nightstand with laser/flashlight, and M1 carbine under the bed w/Barnes all-copper hollowpoints. I don't FEEL terribly fucked...

>>28036970
But you don't have an email...

>>28038872
exactly.

>cops
>fast
>sides

Jokes on you on the robber.

I work graveyard hours and always keep one of my firearms on/near me due to growing up in a variety of ghetto neighborhoods

>get off /k/ to pee pee
>walking to my bathroom downstairs cause OP forced me to not use my bathroom right next to my room
>see a evil man holding a stick or some shit
>go back into room and acquire black powder musket
>scream at those red coats that they'll never take me alive
>trigger my musket
>.68 cal musket ball tears first assailants head off
>can't see through smoke screen I just created
>can't hear anything besides the faint humming of a smoke detector and tinituss
>I begin grasping my calvary saber while I sing the star spangled banner
>can't find other assailant, some of the smoke is coming from the house wall that caught fire which isn't helping
>might have killed the dog while slashing randomly, he will be given a patriots funeral
>drape American flag around my body as I stand outside for fellow patriots to come and gather at this bastion of freedom
>smores are made over the smoldering remains of my house
>become range Bros with fellow patriots and fuck their daughters
>all is good in the world