Which café would you go to, /jp/?

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>>17545988

Vampire loli cafe

>>17546005
Having Sakuya is cheating.

Paizuri cafe

>>17545988
Remi's, of course. Ideally, she'd hire me to fill whatever miscellaneous jobs need doing while Sakuya does important things, so I have an excuse to always be around.

I like SDM but getting served by Youmu at Hakuguokurou looks really comfy.

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The café with a real meido

>>17545988
As much as I distrust non humans, I trust Hatate and Youmu more than I trust Marisa...
Scarlet is just no good. Don't wanna eat in pastry cooked with utensils that have touched blood.

>>17545988
none of them
baked goods and confections are really bad for you

>>17545988
the ghost cafe looks like it would have the best food.

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>>17546189
You can still have a good time by just ordering tea or coffee straight. At Remi's cafe of course.

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>>17546224

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>>17546175
>>17546175
Im betting on my life that Hatate, Youmu and Marisa all had papercuts or something similar at LEAST once.

How about that? Are you jealous because Remimi won't serve her red velvet cake to you?

>>17545988
From a logic standpoint, Youmu has the most experience being a servant and would provide the best service.

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Cafe Ghosts, since it's run by Yuyuko who have a good experience

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>>17546414
They're just sour grapes, m'lady has the highest standards. And with meido in her cafe, you can be sure that only the best of the best quality will be served.

>>17546005
Sakuya is a mommy!

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>>17547200

>>17547238
WOW LOOK AT
DOES PADS

>>17547294
Pads don't have nipples.

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>>17545988
None of them because you missed the best Cafe.

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>>17545988
Easy choice, but I am a little biased.

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>>17545988
Looks like I'm on a date with Hatate while the others are just serving me. I'd feel miserable in a couply place like a cafe alone, so I'll have lunch with Hatate... unless Flan is willing to talk to me? S-she's my favorite, b-but I won't let chasing the best girl keep me from having a good girl.

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What about a nice mountaintop cafe?

>>17545988
The one that involves getting smugged at by the smugpire.

>>17545988
>>17547463
Hi, I'm posting this from a cafe and I have been to many other cafes. I feel confident in judging the type of cafe experience you will get from each of the five cafes.

Hatate: This is a large, tourist-oriented cafe in a downtown shopping district or open-air mall. Since you're being served with real dishware instead of paper cups and plates it's going to be an upscale place that focuses on recouping nosebleed-high rents through expensive as FUCK products bought at the local costco. That cup of coffee will run you $2.50 USD and more in EUR/GBP/AUD. Depending on the police presence, the tables next to the railing might also be a target for panhandlers. Seats are available but the establishment is rarely empty. Might or might not have WiFi.

Marisa: Starbucks clone with table service. Right down to the cheap tables and chairs, Duralex dishes and dollar store cutlery, wood paneling, yard sale art prints and faux-euro light fixtures. Decent prices for food and drink, but no meals. Ask for "cold, filtered tea" a half hour before close for irish coffee! Full of seniors in the morning and early afternoon, traffic tapers off after 3-5 PM. The wireless router craps out sometimes, so don't be afraid to ask Marisa to reset it; password is Passw0rd.

Youmu & Yuyuko: Hipster cafe alert! Built in a reclaimed grain warehouse (note the exposed beams!) this cafe is one of the many new businesses gentrifying Gensokyo's working class meatpacking district. Note the custom-made mugs, expensive cakes and ice cream (organically-sourced) and Sigur Ros playing on the stereo (not pictured). If this was in Portland those uniforms would go from EGL to plain ol' G. Customer base in 90% upper middle class uni students who buy one (1) cup of coffee and spend hours hogging table space with their laptops. WiFi = very yes.

Remilia: This isn't an advertisement for a stand alone cafe per se, but for the SDM's in-house restaurant. The Scarlets meet their need for hard currency by getting Sakuya to warp the SDM into an old medieval castle they've owned since the 1400s. Every summer, German, Dutch, Japanese and British tourists are led around by faerie tour guides in the morning and given afternoon tea. The whole excursion, including a shuttle from and back to Cornwall, is 110 quid plus VAT. Flan guards the grounds during the off-season and eats intruders. Patchouli is in secret talks with the Federal German government to turn the castle into a warehouse for the Stasi archives if Brexit hurts tourism. UK regulations for grade I listed buildings prohibit WiFi.

Renko and Maribel: Front for a massage parlour. Did you seriously expect a place called "Magical Teacup" to be on the up-and-up? Only Maribel does FS.

>>17548322
Like Hatate's cafe, but even worse since they don't have any real competition. Joshiraku warned us of such restaurants that people only visit once!

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>>17548413
>Renko and Maribel: Front for a massage parlour.
In retrospect it explains why Usami is working in the back.

What a slut.

Still visiting the place anyway

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This was my favourite Cafe de Touhou album, so I would like to go to this cafe.

>>17548466
>What a slut
You say that as if it were a bad thing. I'd be more comfortable getting cosplay sumata from a japanese otaku than from some chinese sex slave.

>>17548483
This is a granny cafe. Which basically means good food, mediocre coffee, and time limits for lounging. Avoid the weekend brunch rush at all costs! WiFi is for staff only.

>>17548466
If Sumireko is serving coffee and cake, then she's almost certainly working the front. I imagine you could talk to the Tencho and see if she does house calls. I mean, I'd love to talk about the latest anime with the sumisumi before we awkwardly fuck.

>>17545988
I'll go hit on Marisa every day until she loves me!

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>>17545988
The SA cafe, ok?

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>>17548571
Service industry staff almost universally hate customers that hit on them during work hours.

>>17548583
Obviously the solution is to go right after work hours then!

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>>17546005
fpbp

>>17548589
Yeah, that's just as bad if not worse. I mean you're technically stalking her at that point.

If you are intent on fugging a service industry worker, remember the following tips:
- Be clean and groomed when you do see her
- Don't go to the cafe all the time. In fact, go once and then never go back
- Try to hook up with her through Tinder instead

Fugging customers is generally seen as bad form.

>>17548618
I'll just rape her in the back alley then!

>>17548631
Do NOT rape the ordinary magician.

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>>17548571
Hey! Don't flirt with my wife!

>>17548631
Don't rape my wife!

>>17548698
>>17548635
Too late now!

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>>17548707
Little did you know, the Marisa you thought you were flirting with/raping was actually a decoy!
The real Marisa is with me!

>>17545988
As a Japanese cafe otaku, I recommend going to whichever has the friendliest staff. Having a polite, energetic girl take your money and serve your food really makes even an average cup of tea taste much better. Some of the most expensive places I've been too have been lackluster due to poor service.
I'm glad there's no tipping culture in Japan, because these girls really are worthy of tips.

>>17548732
I'd give them my tip, if you catch my drift.

>>17548732
This may just be because I'm mentally scarred but I always found the Japanese high tension style of service a bit off-putting. I like western cafes where the staff are not forced to care about me beyond taking my money and giving me food. I get to be alone and unnoticed.

Cute girls are nice but I prioritize clean and sanitary workers of any sex

>>17548413
>Hatate: This is a large, tourist-oriented cafe in a downtown shopping district or open-air mall.
Next to a riverwalk, anon? With that arrangement (seating, railing, and the other side)?
That's a hole in the flipping wall that only the locals know about, on the order of a back road; the business is failing, but it stays open as a matter of love. She probably inherited the place from her mother, who inherited it from her mother, and she can't bring herself to part with it. Probably the setting of a romance VN somewhere.
Expect the old timers to be around that remember it 'the old way' and as such like the place.

>>17548413
Honored by your post and presence, cafe otaku. Did dogeza before and after reading your post and writing this post.
Further cemented my decision of Marisa cafe, but missing the riverwalk (>>17549531) was a very uncharacteristic mistake! It looks very close to the sidewalk so if that's for public use then it would be a little too uncomfortable relaxing while dozens of people pass close to you.

>>17548618
Marisa is NOT some cellphone-toting slut who has casual sex with strangers! She's a good girl and if you want to get into her bloomers you'll have to court her and wait until your wedding night!

>>17549531
Is it a river/canal? I thought that at first, but unless it's *really* old the stairs in the background wouldn't be concrete. Not only would it pose a greater threat to vessels than wooden or steel frame stairs, but it would be costlier to repair when erosion does its job.

If it is a waterway though, then the fact that the patio abuts the water's edge is more evidence for a tourist-oriented cafe. I used to live in a city that was bisected by a major working canal. Despite the obvious flooding hazards and environmental regulations, real estate in the canal zone was expensive! People enjoyed sitting out on a veranda, having a beer and watching kayakers go back and forth. Places like this almost certainly have a high police presence though, so no one needs to worry about panhandlers. It's probably THE most expensive of all the cafes in this thread (based on price per unit of food and ignoring the Scarlet's package deal, of course) since she'll be serving Times Square levels of tourists in the summer.
>Expect the old timers to be around that remember it 'the old way' and as such like the place.
There's a few regulars that still remember when the canal was privately owned and there wasn't so much as a railing to keep people out of the waterway. They often fished sea trout there when they were kids! Hatate enjoys their company and charges them 1998 prices after close.
>Probably the setting of a romance VN somewhere
Best ending happens in the winter, when the MC and Hatate skate on the frozen canal after a confession scene and make love that night.

>>17549945
>but missing the riverwalk was a very uncharacteristic mistake! It looks very close to the sidewalk so if that's for public use then it would be a little too uncomfortable relaxing while dozens of people pass close to you.
Gomen. I cannot get them all! Judging from how the railing in the background is on the edge of the waterway, I'm guessing there's no (dry) public thoroughfare between the cafe patio and the water. So, no annoying foot traffic, but you may have to deal with tour boats using loudspeakers floating by every couple of hours.

>>17552337
That's your opinion and I respect that. But I think we will have to agree to disagree.

>>17548466
That's not a real café. It's a classroom at Higashifukami, which is having its school festival. Sumireko wanted her class to do fortune-telling or a haunted house, but she was overruled.

>>17545988
I'd be compelled to try Magical Sweets first. Surely Marisa works the hardest to keep her cafe competitive, researching new additions for the menu and such. Though surely the cooks over at Hakugyokurou have the most experience.
>>17547463
Oh, well it looks like my choice was made for me. Magic and music shows to go with the tea, huh?

>>17545988
Yuyuko's. Everything is ghost princess approved.

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>>17552700
>I'd be compelled to try Magical Sweets first. Surely Marisa works the hardest to keep her cafe competitive, researching new additions for the menu and such.

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>>17552700
>>17552790

>>17552631
I disagree, school festival cafes are technically cafes, although they only excel at serving up food poisoning.

>>17548731
Fuck of Dio.
Start using your quotes again. Posting just doesn't work out for you.

>>17547385
You dont know that.

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>>17552790
>>17552804
Marisa's cooking~

>>17552337
I can confirm this.

>>17548733
This doesn't look like a Cafe.

>>17548413
Thank you for posting this.

>>17553804
It's the kind of cafe where you're on the menu.

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>>17554792
Intriguing business model.

>>17545988
Hatate

>>17545988
gaybar

>>17552724
but youll never get to eat anything

Hatate if I need to just study, read, or use WiFi

Youmu for the polite service and food at any time of day

Remi for dessert, Sakuya's cooking, incredible sweets, and cute lolis

Marisa probably has the most comfy one without any real tryhard aesthetic, just a little tea and cake and the cutest server.

I'd go to Remi's for special occasions but be a regular at Marisa and Youmu's

>>17545988
Cafes are for faggets