hey weebs. I've been writing poems based on loose translation

Sounds epic dude. Go for it!

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>>16583215

My heart rate
Static
remaining the same since birth
This is in fact
the first time
That it has ever spiked

Because my digits have the elasticity to curl
My stilts taxie me on this earth
Because my ears have only heard my tune
My lungs yearn to breathe in sche

“Excuse me mother
but i have found the minnow amongst the sharks”
And she claps mechanically
“Congratulations”

I dream of you when i'm awake

Whose breast have we been monopolizing all this time
And was i the one to leave all these sores
This language we inherit
Do we truly understand it

Father
Mother
Nina
“Child,you've done so well!”
“Ahh, well i'll be going then”
No
This taste is foul

My hands cupped to fish you out
The digits repurposed to adore you

These shovels grown from me
Reached out to hurt you

This language i studied intensely for
Only gives me more ways to dissect you
Chipping away at your life

Well Darling
Before you push into my hand me down wound any further
Let me inflate your lungs one last time

This important but thoughtless act

Allowing us to live off of each other's recycled air
All our words
They melt into each other's saliva

Hey
Right now
Take one last deep breath and Vacuum out all the air in the world
“I love yous” have become unnecessary
After all we have become each other's oxygen tank
No need for muttering
Your last breath is also mine

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>>16583224
Sky Fish

In this small, isolated world
What creces will i leave on this tapestry life

Weightless in that regard
Intangible
Incoherent speech

Plums growing on the other side
Broken neck from seeing the other side

I long to be on the back of that fish in the sky
Eclipsing out falling stars
I'd love to be its jonnah

Pouring ink on the flag of peace
mournfully robbing all of us

Gently streaming across our waters
The fish takes me to the other side
Ahh this new world, goodbye

>>16583224
>Before you push into my hand me down wound any further
Not so sure about this line.

I thought the stuff about recycled air was kind of interesting. Not too big on poems though.

>>16583303
poems are gay man i don't blame you.
yeah that's a line im kinda tripped over. im compiling a bunch of these poems into a book so most of them are still being tweaked

vocaloid is like an instrument
what you said is like you're making poems based on guitar songs
there isn't really any meaning to it
``vocaloid songs'' could be songs about anything

>>16583327
no I agree I just said it as a general term.
i guess i really mean "songs made by japanise artist who use Vocaloid" but that's a mouthful

>>16583334
I know I call them Vocaloid songs too
but I just feel compelled to say that whenever I see someone type about Vocaloid

sorry if you thought I was bullying you I really don't want you to feel uncomfortable

>>16583344 >>16583357

ayy you do you desu

Nights end
After an astonishing amount of worn down clocks
I can feel the heart of the earth sinking
Pushed out far beyond my sight
The lights in town waver
Those street lights
Miles beyond what i've ever understood
Are swallowed up
They disappear
Those lights, they flicker like memories of something completely different
Planted by careless hands
They have been withered away with the yearning to grow up
Wanting to model the height of the great pines
We mimic the actions of adults
This clear dry ocean above my head
It floods wildly into the valley of my mind
Searching for the stars in between the black keys
A song modest enough to be precious appears
And sings the song of a future crazy enough to fall in love with me
And my hands will pull back, claiming the sounds i have made are enough
Just for the sake of not being embarrassed
And i wanted this all
Granted

Ahh
The town is silently recalled through our minds while a single foot runs about
Afraid of the lonely night, i ask myself if it is i
Ahh
the light striking my eye through the window, i ask myself if it means to enlighten or blind
Mistaking it for something,i watched another leap out their second floors to chase it
Even though we all pretended that it existed
If we always thought like that, things wouldn't change for eternity
Safty
Without vowing to it, i had already submitted my faith
Washing away any ideas of ice cream or innocence and its faults
If you can find humor in this, i suggest it
But i will flow again
Tilting my head up
At the dark oceans swallowing up any light that leaks in
I am alone
Wishing
Pleasing
Begging
The breath in me howls like a storm through a canyon
In this town, where all light is a myth
To keep my heart
To keep my machine
To keep my death
From breaking
I inbred deep into my dreams

Finally being shined down on, i leaked
The light resting so fragile upon me, i held softly to keep it intact
I gently felt its small heart
Beating violently
My eyes open, and i see my hands choking all that i had sought to find
In a town where the light has vanished
I find myself as the murder
To keep my heart
To keep my machine
To keep my death
I had played only the best parts of the victim and attacker

Ikari
Ikari
Ikari

Finally, at long last, after so long, the world swallows itself once again
The night
Ends

When the sun begins to rise
I am all alone
When the sun comes round
I began to shine
When the sun says hello
The bells began to chime
At night's end
an uninspiring future chases itself again
{no pic for this one}

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>>16583224
if you thought you could disappoint me this easily you've got another thing coming

>>16583434
are they that bad annon?

>>16583224
This one isn't consistently abstract enough. Its very easy to tell what you're talking about in some chunks (stanzas?) but I don't know what you're talking about in 6th. 9 also seems poorly written

>>16583451
i feel like having bits of abstract less material gives the reader a base to launchpad their thoughts. kinda like giving somebody some paper and pencils and then letting them come up with whatever they want
id try and explain the direction I was going towards in the 6th stanza but i think that takes the fun away from poetry if the author tells you how to feel. same goes for 9, but hey i really like those lines annon!