Albatross Koukairoku translation

Disgusting. Thank you.

It's okay, you just need some more practice!

If the prose is all you say it is, then it shouldn't be given a second-/third-rate TL.

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OP is of course an EOP, taking someone else's attempt.

>>15737661
OP, explain yourself!!!

>>15737670
It's me. Я - парень со скрина.

Didn't people say this is impossible to translate?

>>15737724
Why is that? Is it really that complex?

>>15737703
Well then your translation is kinda shit. I mean, you did understand or looked up every word of the Japanese text, but your English rendition just doesn't feel good.

>>15737734
It's not. The OP just showed you.

>>15737749
What can I say? English is pretty much intractable when it comes to this kind of text. Russian is superior by far, though, I doubt anyone will care to read in it.

>>15737773
Yeah. It's not like I'd be able to make it sound good in English myself.

It's probaly write something like "malicious smell of death that lurks in the dark of a ..... tomb"...

>>15737786
>It's probaly write
I'd probably write...*

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>>15737564
I'd say go for it. People will eat up anything that gets fan TL'd these days considering the state of the fantranslation scene.

>>15738320
I will. And you won't see it coming, lads.

>>15737773
I may or may not care to read it in Russian

>>15738610
We both know you'll lose steam fast. Translating is a thankless job, especially for free.

>>15737724
The tl would just be shit, but EOPs eat up garbage tls all the time so not really a problem.

>>15738892
Aren't you a friendly fellow.

>>15737749
>but your English rendition just doesn't feel good.
>implying rambling purple prose sounds good in any language

>>15737564
I would, OP.

Someone who has some talent for writing, who knows his Lovecraft and has some knowledge of Japanese as well could help put the translation to proper form if given an understandable draft.

>>15737564
Do it.

>>15739288
That should be simple enough then.

>>15739497
If this was happening 1 or 2 years later I could fill that role, but there should be at least one other person fitting the bill somewhere out here.

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>>15737564
As someone said, the rough translation is OK, but the concept of a solid narrative is hardly present.
Are you doing this alone or in a team? I advise you to get an interpreter who is closely familiar with english literature - with him, the translation should start to become more or less professional.
Я хотел бы помочь, хотя не уверен, смогу ли выделять на это достаточно времени, и не слишком плотно знаком с японским.

>>15739972
That being said, I admire Howard-sensei.

I have a thing to ask to VN readers. Are endless run-on sentences, constant reliance on metaphors ,and searching for the most obscure term to the point furigana has to be appended on the side the hallmarks of all hack VN writers?
It's even worse in the original Japanese screenshot because of Japanese sentence structure putting all attributive clauses before the noun. After a while it really makes you go "holy shit when is this sentence gonna end".

>>15741679
You speak as if Western literature don't constantly fall into these traps. I should know because I read the "classics" from Dostoyevsky, Rand, Bronte etc.

>>15739972
who is this cutie?

>>15741679
Run-on sentences don't exist in Japanese.

>>15741783
This is because punctuation isn't native to Japanese.

>>15737564
Some translators are ok with memeing and changing whole sentences, but they aren't ok with analyzing the text to give it adequate entonation and punctuation. Sounds lazy to me. your small snap is proof this can be translated.

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>>15741723
It's Nya-tan from Etotama, a manga/anime about chinese zodiac animals.

>>15741679
Those are trademarks of chuu2 writers in general. It exists in LNs, manga, and some actual novels.

>>15741716
Those are all pretentious authors. Regardless of the quality of their work, it's undeniable that they're very heavy-handed in their prose. Most experienced authors actually learn to trim words and speak as directly as possible, because it lets you say more things. Nobody likes to read 30 word sentences except for maybe extremely skilled writers, like Melville.