Monster Girl Thread

>>14776532
Headpats are to be used sparingly, lest they lose all meaning.

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ROCK OUT!

I want a coffee alraune.
Brown and addictive.
Brown is the addiction.

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>"Anon, you're late. Again."

>>14776542
You're the one just coming in with the coffee!

>>14776541
It would be hard to drink.

>>14776542
I'm only one minute late. Calm down would you?

>>14776553
I'm sure any liquid she produces from any part of her body is sufficiently caffeinated.

>>14776542
Nice texture brush on your nylons, you slut.

Don't overcharge your Yeti maid with hugs, they turn into vibrating balls of 50% mofu and 50% cuddles

>>14776557
But would you pour it in a cup? Or would you drink it straight?

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Rise and shine, it's another day as a magnificent ruler!

>>14776578
see >>14776534
You are devaluing hugs. Soon they will be worth as little as the D.

>>14776593
I want to build geometrical structures for my canid overlords!

>>14776590
Yes.

>>14776602
Yes to what?

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I want to rub those horns

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I need tips on how to ration these headpats, there never seems to be enough.

>>14776606
Here's how you ration them to Alps: smack em on the head.

>>14776607
That just gives me kyaas, I need some ehehe~'s

>>14776598
>Yetis
>getting sick of hugs
Next you'll tell me Wendigos stop awawaing at some point

>>14776612
Am I an expert on Alps or something? Take a hike, bozo!

>>14776603
Both. However I like my mug, I've had it for years and could bludgeon a door to door sabbath scout with ease. You can't just betray that kind of relationship.

Its become a part of my existence.

I want to feed various fruit to a soldier beetle!

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>>14776623
Elaborate.

>>14776616
I just thought, there would probably be someone with a doctorate on Alps and the process of Alping in MGC. What would his research even look like? Why did he want to become an expert on alps?

>>14776628
This must truly be the pursuit of a diseased mind.

>>14776625
It's said in the profile that they like sweet things, some I'm going to get a fuckton of fruit and see what her preferences are.

>>14776628
Maybe his son turned into an alp and he was desperately attempting to find a cure, to no avail.

No wait, that's cliche.

>>14776638
Cliches exist for a reason. The father ended up turning countless poor boys into Alps as part of his research.

>>14776641
Only to learn that his Succubus wife was a phase 3 herself.

>>14776641
Good lord, how? Does he have a machine that sexually tortures them until they alp from the overstimulation and the promise of being released if they turn into a girl? Does he have countless alps strapped to machines that constantly milk them of various bodily fluids and record their orgasmic squeals all in the name of science?

>>14776644
And then he discovers that she was the mastermind behind the plot to alp his son all along

>>14776647
All that, and more.

>>14776649
And them that take the sword shall perish by the sword.

>>14776647
Seems kind of fetishy. And I'm alright with that.

I want a MG to laugh at my southern tendencies and speech.
And then I put a bun in her oven to show her how a true southerner does things.

>>14776681
What if she also has southern tendencies and speech? would you laugh at each other until you realize what that means and start crying in each other's embrace?

>>14776681
Lynching Dark Elves and Alps?

>A Mantis will never silently stalk you thinking you're not aware of her presence
>You'll never bait her into following you somewhere private and turn the tables on her

>>14776684
>lynching
the advent of the Jasper Drag Races means there's new technology to punish undesirables and deviants.

>>14776688
Hyuk-hyuk-hyuk, you tell 'em Billy-Bob!

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Reminder that being a Ghost is boring as all fuck and they only haunt us because they have nothing else to do. Offer them entertainment, not exorcism.

>>14776698
I'm not letting some dead chick touch my electronics. Can't we do something else?

>>14776701
What, like Monopoly or Clue?

>>14776698
I wish a ghost girl would haunt my house so that she could look after my dog when I'm at work. And then I treat her for helping me with cuddles and a movie marathon that ends with her singing me to sleep.

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>>14776701
Find her a friend

>>14776702
Yeah.

>>14776704
Then we can play Clue and Monopoly together!

>>14776698
I want to play D&D with a Ghost and other lonely monster girls!

>>14776698
>>14776704
>have ghost girl haunt your house
>it's okay, sometimes she goes overboard
>like when your parents came over to visit
>when you come home from work one day you're treated to a sight
>hundreds of undead MGs are in your house
>your ghost girl comes up and pulls you outside and says
>"As you can see my family's here to visit, just play it cool, act like my husband and things will be alright."
>as you walk back in you see a small lich who comes up to your belly button
>"I see my daughter has good taste in men, maybe tonight I could get a taste~!"
>it's going to be a long weekend

>>14776717
How big is my house?

I doubt it could fit 100

>>14776721
Incorporeal forms take very little space.

>>14776721
Well there's about 30 actual bodies (zombies, ghouls, and mama lich of course) and the rest are ghost girls.

>>14776717
I would treat the Lich like a grown woman but in a childish manner, to see if she just pouts or if she tries to kill me.

>>14776723
>They all just take the form of floating eyeballs that stare at you
Such things are to be expected with a ghost waifu.

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"Come with me if you want to live!"
>"Just kidding... It's me who wants to live. Again. Live and not just be alive. It's me... Please, stay with me."

>>14776724
30 is still a large number for a house my size

>>14776717
Read this and instantly thought of Washu as a lich.
And my boner grew four sizes today.

>>14776687
Life sucks, thanks doc.

>>14776729
What is "to live and not just be alive"? Does not compute.

>>14776745
Something deep and profound and hipster, like mere existence isn't living

The archives are disagreeing with my phone.

Anything new last thread?

>>14776751
Nonsense.

I want a yandere crow tengu

>>14776757
Exactly

>>14776759
I want a mute, white mantis with an unspeakable trauma!

>>14776759
Me too. I'd take any tengu.

>>14776764
Does she desperately try to find you even if you've only been gone for a minute?

>>14776764
If she's mute, wouldn't it always be unspeakable?

>>14776745
Her heart beats now simply because it can, but she wishes for it to beat because its filled with love for her husband.

>>14776768
>you will never have a crow tengu gf to shitpost on /lit/ together
>you will never have sex with her like Joyce did

>>14776773
What she needs is an anatomy lesson.

>>14776769
No, because she's petrified to leave my side in the first place.

>>14776771
She's mute because of the trauma

>>14776779
>petrified
I beg your pardon?

>>14776781
Anon is confused and just has a statue on a dolly tied to him so he doesn't feel lonely.

>>14776745
Have you heard of somebody 'with no life'?
You can be alive and not have a life of your own.
Generally this is in context of social life, but I've known a neet or 2 whose entire existence is eating and sleeping.

>>14776785
But this is life. It is life to be a bacteria, or lichen. Saying someone isn't "alive" because they're not sociable is just silly.

>>14776781
petrified
ˈpɛtrɪfʌɪd/Submit
adjective
1.
so frightened that one is unable to move; terrified.

But as a side note, Biology dudes, I need you! What the fuck do I scientifically call the things at the end of a stinypede's tail.

>>14776789
Are you incapable of metaphorical speech?
'Life' is not taken in the literal sense, but in embracing every aspect life has to offer, not just fulfilling base needs but the pursuit of self-fulfilment. Carpe Diem and all that.

>>14776789
Some peeps kick it at 25 and aren't put 6-under 'til 75.
-Ben "Big-100" Frank.

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>>14776796
Does not compute. Metaphor is illogical. Perhaps sex now?

>>14776800
>tfw you will never have an autistic book reading robot-fu

>>14776808
>autistic
Computers aren't autistic.

>>14776791
Pinching pincers

>>14776791
Either just last pair of legs, or gonopods depending on what exactly you mean.
Why?

>>14776809
>Autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by impaired social interaction, verbal and non-verbal communication, and restricted and repetitive behavior.
Sounds hella computers to me.
Even the 'neurodevelopmental disorder' bit can be rationalized as the limit of human technology and programming.

>>14776818
I pick right, she looks into this.
>>14776822
Can't be a disorder if the bloody thing is working like it should be. Stop trying to insult artificial girls.

>>14776818
>Be kidnapped while returning home from work
>Wake up next morning to this
How long before you end up with an army of daughterus?

Best species for the 'dere'
>tsundere - Medusa
>mayadere - Vampire
>deredere - Troll
There are others but this is what I came up with, help me out here this early morning stuff isn't good for my thinking skills.

>>14776843
>mayadere - Vampire
I'm very ok with this

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>>14776829
You know as well as I do that computers are severely limited in their emulation of the human mind. No AI from chatbot to Japanese prototype sexbot is intentionally designed to be socially flawed. If they were working like they should be, which is a simulacrum of a human mind, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
Hence, your robo waifu is autistic as a design flaw.

>>14776812
>gonopods
But that's for egglaying and transferring sperm. Maxilipeds don't work either because that's for feeding, and this is the term KC uses.

How about Aculeus? Does that fit?

>>14776847
But she would be a wicked seductress that rules over her subjects with an iron fist!

>>14776853
Nigga if that's some smut any will do.

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>>14776855
Yes and?

>>14776858
It's not for smut. Yet. I just want to my vaguely accurate with my monster bug women body parts. I'm referring to it specifically so I'd like a name for it.

>>14776861
Oh sure, she might be beautiful, and her chest might rise and fall as she ohohohohos about her latest victory, and her lust in bed animalistic, but she's still evil. Do you really want to support a horrible woman like her?

>>14776867
toxicognath would probably work fine. Different location but it's the actual stingy bit on a centipede.

Normally it's just a pair of pinchy legs in the back. 'The clamp' would be my suggestion for that.

>>14776881
That's pretty much my dream.

>>14776884
So Oomukades have two toxicognath, one pair based on the nape, another at the tip of the tail. Does this mean the tattoo-like venom glans continue under her chitin, down the length of her body to feed the rear pair of toxicognath?

>>14776881
>Her armies have just conquered a nation and put its leaders to the sword
>She personally killed the royal family
>As she tells you of her exploits, she looks at you with the look of a puppy waiting for approval

>>14776905
Headpats. Tell her she's a mighty warrioress

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A commission finished, from me to Miiafag.

>>14776905
>"So the look of despair on their faces were so cute. And,and one of them even asked me to spare the children? I laughed so hard that I had to put the execution on hold! I did a god job right Anon? Right?

>>14776777
She would welcome that as well, especially since she can literally rebuild herself... She would also welcome a deeper anatomical "lesson"

>>14776905
>with the look of a puppy waiting for approval
That's not how I like my mayaderes.

>>14776915
Fuck I can't into punctuation

I cant decide what I want to do

Part of me wants to do a story about my head cannon about dragon knights.

Another part of me wants to do a story involving a wurm, dont even know what it'll be about, just that it'll have a wurm in it

>>14776903
It's either that or there is something else internal near the end if we're trying to logic out a rape bug.

>>14776900
But it's wrong. As you're being her obedient servant, the peasants her toiling under her regime in which every day is a struggle. You might spend your days in her secure castle that has everything you nee, but outside the rations are strict and both criminals and her army made life dangerous. As she's draining you of bodily fluids in the bedroom, the common folk are lucky to even end up with a person they love and not as slave. All you're doing is supporting a vile woman who needs to die.

>>14776843
Kuudere is for liches.
Yandere is for shirohebis.

>>14776934
Could you give us some details about the knights?

>>14776934
Wurm. I don't care what it is, as long as it has a wurm in it.

>>14776947
I just figured as seeing as how her entire patchwork of tattoos are venom glands, considering how large they are already, it wouldn't be strange for them to continue in a thin line down her body too.

>>14776948
Yeah, and? Fuck the poor.

>>14776963
Makes sense to me if you put it that way.

>>14776948
Not OP, but I personally would just eat bread and water everyday. No lavish riches for me. I'd just give all the food to some starving poor girls near the castle wall. I would try to convince her to be more kind to the common folk. Nobless Oblige. The only selfish thing I'd request is a library to read in.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENTmsqd7WQU

This song really puts to mind some kind of stil-vaguely-tribal amazonian cop living in the rougher parts of MGC, putting scum away dredd style and living a lonely spartan life.

>>14776979
I want to accidentally meet into her after getting lost in the cities at night! I want to tremble in fear thinking that she's another scary thug!

>>14776954
Yandere is best mixed with mayadere. Prove me wrong.
>tfw no Lich overlord to keep me safe and comfy in her castle away from all those "breathing whores"

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>>14776843
Mantis.
Kuudere or Dandere?

>>14776987
>Her eyes flash a deep crimson, wolfish silhouett shrinking to fit her form as she steps out of the dark
>"Go home, kid."

>>14776948
And? I may try to make her treat the common folk a bit better just so they don't try anything but that's it.

>>14776967
Many them are poor because of her oppressive rule. Even the ones that aren't poor still suffer. The intellectuals have t constantly watch what they say or they'll be dragged off to the dungeons. The middle class is at the mercy of previously mentioned gangs and soldiers looking to have fun by kicking the powerless around.

>>14776973
But you're her sweet bloodbag. Why should allow to live like the common whores and vermin outside? She thinks you deserve so much more and that goodwill and charity is wasted on those worthless masses.

>>14776992
Light yan with a side of kuu.

>>14776992
They're beyond the system.

>>14776955
I mentioned it a while back

The main idea for the head cannon was that semi-corrupted women that wear dragon themed armour and fight for a sort of dragon general.

The reward for their efforts is to be transformed into dragons themselves.

the story itself world be one of these knights gaining her ascension though the eyes of a prisoner of war she took a liking to after repeatedly facing him in battle.

>>14776998
Wait, there are still people who aren't poor? She should get off her ass and crank down. I'm not cool with censorship, though. People should know how bad they have it. I would suggest that she instead institute a lottery to determine who gets dragged off to the dungeon. Let the fates decide. You also can't let the guards get too uppity. They're not any better than the rest of the poor folk. Some of them need to get in the dungeons, too. I swear that she has no idea how to oppress people without me.

>>14776992
kuudere

>>14776913
That looks very nice

>>14777018
>Undermining your waifu's authority and tyrrany by robbing the citizens of their fear of her by placing it all on yourself as the Demon King who rules from the shadows
Bad anon

>>14777014
I remember it. I think you could do more with that idea then something with a wurm.

>>14777025
This is my fetish, though.

>>14776913
>that faintly visible smile

>>14776991
>Sweating_man.jpg
>"Anon, the only safe place is here in my bosom. Those filthy WHORES all want to take you away to keep them for themselves. Or even worse, try to HURT my precious Anon. I can feel their dirty lusty eyes raping you in their minds. Their evil minds taking delight in HURTING you. The other day they threw stones at you for walking with ME. Those LOWLY BREATHER are only fit to endure the pain of a thousand souls for what they did to you. They even have the nerve to say that they love you. What a ridiculous claim. They can never love you like I dio Waiting for centuries for you to come, building a kingdom to treat you with lavish riches beyond your dreams, fit for a perfect husband like you.

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>>14776991

>>14776991
>>14777036
Yeah, but that rotten pussy though.

>>14776996
But what if I don't have a house? What if I was looking for a place in MGC because I got a new job there?

>>14776998
Then I will go outside in tattered clothes, acting as the common man. I will give aid to those in need. I also wish that she would bring the intellectuals at least some free reign over their works. That isn't too much to ask right?

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>tfw your succubus and lich onee-sans make you dress as a vampire for Halloween and force you to go with them to a party full of their female friends

>>14777033
Got it.
I try to get something down today, I gotta careful with this one though, so its gonna take a while.

>>14777043
>Mamono mana
>making blue waffle real

>>14776996
B-But I can't find a way to go home!

>>14777044
She knows a mens shelter that can take you in for now. But if you really insist, and push all her buttons the right way, she'll blush and tell you that an upstanding harbinger of the law can't just leave a man alone in this city, and will offer you her bed. She'll take the lounge.

>>14777045
Don't waste your time on the masses. They are beneath you. Your life is worth thousands of theirs Those intellectuals are too smart for their own good. They question her rule and spread revolutionary ideas to the public! Why, one of them even called you a spineless bleeding-heart slut! He's not round any longer, but more of them could say similar things!

>>14777045
What happens when the guards beat you for not paying the toll or when the local gang spit in your face and slaps you across your face?

>>14777059
No. It's way too cold in her bed unless she can help me heat it up I won't get any sleep! Then maybe in the morning she can show me where my new job is.

>>14777073
You sure are pushy for a man receiving aid

>>14777069
It's okay. I'm sure he didn't mean it. I'm sure we could have talked it out. He seemed like a nice person. The queen said that she sent him to exile somewhere far away. It's a bit overboard but I'm glad she didn't kill anyone.

>>14777072
I continue to serve the poor until the sun starts to set. Then I need to go back to the castle to prepare her bed.

I'm home from work, finally. I hate overnights. Was it worth only getting three hours of sleep just to see the season premiere of Better Call Saul? Very much yes.

YBA if you read this, I need my June fix ASAP. She's so alluring, and I don't know why.

>>14777088
I'm just trying to be comfortable in a new and somewhat scary environment. Is that too much to ask for? And it's not like I want to wake up the next morning with her holding me close almost like she never wants to let go of me.

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>>14777048

>>14777104
>not 'accidentally' getting closer to her by wriggling in the bed
>not muttering cute thing in your sleep to target her protective instincts
You've got to be subtle Anon.

What monster scares you the most?
Which is that one species that you would run away from if they ever set their sight on you?
What are your reason for fearing them?

>>14777136
Matango. Simply because the thought of having shit grow in me and influence my mind scares the shit out of me.

>>14777136
>What monster scares you the most?
None
>Which is that one species that you would run away from if they ever set their sight on you?
Anyone that isn't on my favorite-waifu tier list
>What are your reason for fearing them?
I want to have as waifu a monstergirl I like

>>14777136
>What monster scares you the most?
None really scare me
>Which is that one species that you would run away from if they ever set their sight on you?
None. All the species that I would run away from would just take that as a challenge/invitation. Running is a bad idea

>>14777123
>implying I'm not gonna tell her how safe I felt in her bed and how it was the best sleep in my life
>then I watch her face get red while she tries to drink her coffee
>I then go for the kill when I compiment how her hair smells like the apple fields back home

How would you react if you had a Mantis maid and woke up to her standing over you every morning before saying that she wished you would never wake up before leaving the room?
What would you do if you woke up while she was kissing you?

>>14777136
I'm not really scared of any of them. There's the ones I would run from because I don't like them, but I don't fear any.

>>14777158
I don't like either maids or mantises

>>14777158
I ask her why I am a commoner's sample at an ojou-sama's school.

>>14777158
I would wonder why this mantis was kissing me if my waifu was lying a foot to my left. I would also wonder how a mantis maid got into my home.

>>14777158
Step 1:
>kiss back
Step 2:
>pull her into my bed and thoroughly impregnate her
Step 3:
>get a new maid because now I have a wife and kids

>>14777158
I would take it the wrong way and think she hates me. If she kissed me, I would think it was some kind of trick.

>>14777174
She;s your wife now.

>>14777179
She'll have to go through my manticore waifu first.

>>14777185
She will.

>>14777188
I don't feel like a mantis could defeat a manticore. It's improbable.

>>14777136
>>14777141
Because those reasons and I'm fuck all scared of mushrooms in general for some reason

And jellyfishes, god, the rest is A-ok

>>14777192
Yeah manticores are pretty OP

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>>14777202
>And jellyfishes

Oh, come on...
How can be scared of such a cutie?

>>14777158
>she wished you would never wake up
you want me to be dead?

anyhow, I'd kiss her back. But I'd do it better and longer, just to show her how it's really done.

>>14777202
>And jellyfishes
What's wrong? You don't want a giant Man-o-War girl to hold you close, safe in her embrace, away from all of those WHORES?

>>14777220
Because Irukandji.

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>Kiki Quest III: Curse of the Forever Dirty Living Room

CONTINUE? Y/N

Guys. Hear me out now.
Chubby
Kikimoras

>>14777241
N

>>14777241
>Y/[N]
I don't have time to play silly video games, I'm to busy spanking my naughty, Kiki maid.

>>14777241
N

>>14777241
That's games super easy with the Roomba-chan mod.

>>14776913
She looks great, I want lamia dancer now.

>>14777220
>>14777234
I mean I'm pretty adaptable...usually, and I'm sure they all are nice ladies but I just can't their wiggliness(?) creeps me out. It's pretty specific because I don't get the vibe with, say smiles or boobs.

I'm sorry miss chan-o-war I'm just not good enough.

>tfw no qt jiangshi to take care of
If this is what living is like, I want it to be over

>>14777262
Well too bad! Man-o-War-chan already has you and she's never letting go!

>>14776015
>What about a Kejourou doing a full bondage on herself using her hair

Now there's an idea. I like it.

>>14777269
>no qt paladin onee-san to protect you and hold you close
>you'll never have you paladin nee-san's back in a fight
This is true suffering friend-o.

>>14777234

Tell me more about this Man-o-War girl? How does she differ from your typical sea slime

>>14777277
>You'll never have a Kejourou use her hair to cosplay as Bayonetta for your anniversary.
truly we live in dark times brothers

>>14777274
I knew I should have stayed out of the water, I hope at the very least that she will gently help me with my fears or I will go psycho on her not-sure-if-existing ass.

>>14776604
What about the enormous calcium cannons below them?

>>14777277
I'd rather have her doing a full bondage on him

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I've been rereading vengeance and I have to say, I feel really shitty for the seniors. Nobody wants them, and stuff like that is bound to happen when the ratio of monsters to human men is 2:1 but still. They just want to know what it's like to hold a man, man.They aren't even rapey, when push comes to shove they don't even violate the guy, though that may be due to fear of Nina. I never asked for this.

>>14777325
But they're monstergirls, they're evil by default.

>>14777325
Okay now I'm REALLY starting to believe there is some serious shilling going on

>>14777307
>her body's about 8 feet tall
>her tentacle 'skirt' reaches about 30 feet
>she can use venom to paralyze fish to eat
>or keep you hard throughout your many honeymoons

>>14777325
>Not only reading vengeance, but rereading it

>>14776913
dat outfit, hnng

>>14776991
Undead are truly the best.

>>14777337

I mean, if that helps you sleep at night. I just wanted to talk about a story, if nobody else does I'll let it go.

>>14777325
I wasn't a fan of vengeance, I dropped it about halfway through. All the try hard edginess just got to me in a story where all the vengeance that should be there should be in the form of BDSM.
But hey, I didn't write it, I don't claim to love it either. It's just my personal opinion.

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>>14777308

Indeed. At least I already have a commission underway from Luth and I'm on snibako's waiting list for another commission. I sent a note to Kuro on DA too.

>>14777042
I still don't regret capping that.

>>14777355
I don't blame you personally anon, just wondering aloud, carry on

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>>14777112
>no busty Cheshire and Manticore onee-sans that utterly loathe one another despite once sharing the same spot in their Echidna motherus womb
>they will never try to one-up each other each time they bring you to orgasm

>>14777361
Oh baby.

>>14777389
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EV6E13xODyA

>>14777383
>"Anon, who was better this time? I know I got you off seven times!"
>"Oh please, we all know you only milked him with your tailpussy, that doesn't count!"
>"Well at least I don't make him go soft when I blow him little miss Sandpaper Tongue!"
>"BITCH!!!"
>"WHORE!!!"

I want to fall into a crypt and become the son an ancient lich always wanted!

>>14777453
But what if your real mom finds you?

>>14777458
She can't anymore. ;_;

>>14777466
Oh.

I want a dark angel to laugh at my tiny penis!
I want her to point and yell "I FELL FROM DIVINITY FOR THIS?!"

>>14777453
Would accept her offer to turn you into a shota?

>>14777337
Yeah, there has been a very disproportionate spike in vengeance posting these past few threads.

>>14777473
Okay buddy calm down. It was funny the first few times you posted but now, fifty threads later, it's old and sad. Just like your mother.

Remember to be on the lookout for golems, they can be anyone!
They can be your mother, your sister, your friends, the barista at the coffee shop, the weird lady you see at the gas station who never actually buys anything, and they could even be that cute succubus down the street.

>>14777337
The recent conversations have probably interested a few of the new guys here. I get what you're saying but this is the more likely scenario.

>>14777487
I don't mind him, but I miss slowpoke guy more.

>>14777492
Well why don't we tell people to read better MG stories? I'm getting tired of people discussing shit.

>>14777444
This type of conflict arouses me.
>Manticore onee-san likes roleplay as Cap'n Onahole while Chessie onee-san one-ups her with some skimpy ninja cosplay
>the one thing both have in common is that tightness of both outfits struggles to contain their plump titties and asses, often leading to dual titfucks and buttjobs

>looking at the old thread
>I missed a bunch of writefags showing up
Damn. If you're reading this Beast I liked your thing. The dialogue was a bit strange in places but keep up the good work in general.

>>14777503
Ah slowpoke guy. He was just as good as recap anon.

>>14777505
not him but I know what you mean.

though I must say, talking about vengeance is a little fresh to me compared to the endless loop of complaining about the Moose saga.

>>14777505
Define better.

>>14777524
Me too, and by that I mean the proper recap guy and not his self appointed namefag replacement. That guy managed to get egotistical over thread recapping and that was just weird.

>>14777453
How does a Lich raise children?

>>14777539
From their coffins!

>>14777528
Oh you know, things like Andrea the Alp and other masterpieces he wrote himself.

>>14777539
Very scientifically. I bet she'd search far and wide for the best ancient grimoires for spells about parenting, even to the neglect of her child.

>>14777541
Charon, I'm going to give you a two bottles of coke as an enema.

>>14777527
>endless loop of complaining about the Moose saga.
I hate to restart it, but it really jumped the shark long ago. It was a spectacular jump, the kind that could set several world records from the distance and height involved.

>>14777527
I haven't read either.

I don't like horses and the moose sage is too long

>>14777543
>saying YBA is worse than Alp
Damn, man. Did Vengeance piss you off that much?

>>14777552
What happened?

>>14777551
Shouldn't that be fatal? I can only imagine the kind of havoc that would wreak on your bowels. Would it strip the mucus, causing the acid to eat through the walls of your gut and spill into your chest poisoning and eating you from the inside?

>>14777562
If a spoiled slutty daddy's little princess with drills can survive it, Charon can too.

>>14777555
You aren't missing much, vengeance is just a bunch of awful people being awful to each other and moose saga is the adventures of the biggest mary sues and their gary stu harem mc curbstomping the NOTcatholic church into the ground for several hundred chapters.

>>14777566
Source?

>>14777574
Discipline Record of a Crusade. The VN, not the anime.

>>14777559
regular guy from human town finds out he's the reincarnation of a Pharaoh

either that or putting a old lady in a position why she has to stay still or else she will accidental hang herself is the shark jump

I could be completely wrong. Its been some time since I read it, so somebody feel free to correct me.

>>14777528
Anything PRW wrote.

>>14777559
It turned into a harem.
All the members are unstoppable engines of ruin with no match or equal.
The MC's moral compass rotates faster than a pulsar. And he's treated like a saint for it by most of the cast.
The villains are still baby eating evil and the protag is apparently justified in anything he does against them, even if it's a tactic that a villain would use.
And yes, the length. It's going nowhere slowly.

>>14777568
It's a harem story?

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Yandere whitesnek

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>>14777325
Anon, I just want June to love me. I want to team up with June and brutally murder danon. And then we have sex on top of his lifeless corpse.

>>14777576
regular guy from human town finds out he's the reincarnation of a Pharaoh
Regular guy from EARTH finds that. Also his soul is pure, even when he does:
>putting a old lady in a position why she has to stay still or else she will accidental hang herself
What the actual fuck, moose? Are you seriously painting this man as a hero? I also remember him beating the shit out of an old pacifist healer just so his friends could beat up some ineffectual knights easier. And burning a building full of people alive to prove a point. And using his wyvern friend to roast a bunch of soldiers alive in their camp.
I wouldn't mind but the guy suffers zero consequences for his bullshit, thanks to the protection of his overpowered harem.

>>14777600
Your genetic material and her priceless nectar should not mix with anything of his, not even then.

>>14777577
I agree Vengeance is overrated, but PRW?

>>14777600
I approve of your plan

>>14777606
I will show him true vengeance. I don't even fucking care about sounding edgy. What he did to the poor snake was evil.

>>14777600
>people liking/defending June
The absolutely lowest form of trash I've ever seen.

>>14777616
Holy shit, anon. Are we going to have to clash again over this shit? I mean, I enjoy it. But do you?

Oppai
Loli
Nightmare

>>14777615
Vicious, but I wouldn't say edgy given the context. Well, do you- err, June, however you'd like. I know you'll take good care of her.

Oh boy, are we vengeanceposting for the rest of the thread again?

>>14777587
Roll call time.
>A salamander mercenary well known as a one woman army and her fight boner.
>A strait laced anubis who was guarding a tomb. cant remember what else was about that.
>Mantis that had her life go hella shitty when she was human, then was brain washed into being Roberta with mantis blades
>wryvern he was forced to bond with
>a baphomet, cant remember the deal with that one

and anybody else since I stopped reading it.

>>14777595
There are other kinds?

>>14777629
Its either that, shortstacks, or other equally dumb shit.

>>14777637
>other equally dumb shit.
Oh, oh, this! I'd like this please.

>>14777620
Somebody has to stand up to this pile of bad taste. Might as well be me.

>>14777581
I honestly think it would have worked better as a silly comedy instead.

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I picked up I, Robot today and I'm in tears less than 20 pages in.
>Why do you cry, Gloria? Robbie was only a machine, just a nasty old machine. He wasn't alive at all.
>He was NOT no machine! He was a PERSON just like you and me and he was my FRIEND!
You know what I need? Golem stories. You know what everybody needs? Golem stories.

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"Anons! It is a new day! May your greentexts fan out as splendidly as do my wings!"

>>14777640
here's my dumb shit
One guy said that soldier beetles like sweet things and was going give them fruit.
I want to inject red bull into the fruit and see what happens.

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>>14777622
The most perfect form of horsepussy.

>>14777650
That's great and all, but motivational speeches won't get you out of tidying up your hoard.

>>14777650
I don't write splendid greentexts.
I write C- grade shit.

>>14777658
Tidying up the horde? What? Who even does that? OCDragons?

>>14777646
A Golem Story where she learns from a Skeleton what she felt it meant to be a real person, while also learning from the Golem what it means to live as a "creation" could be interesting.

>>14777666
Look Satan, either she does it, or I'll dump in the yard.

Her move.

>>14777652
I had a dumb shit about wanting to fish in a frozen lake, sitting on Jormungandr's giant shoulder and listening to her weave ancient tales

>>14777658
>>14777666
Certainly it is tidied. At least it is nowadays. How else will her husband walk through it in all its splendor? Each part of it is carefully organized to give a grand, golden history of how she acquired it all.

>>14777674
That sounds comfy do that please.

>>14777676
Funny way of spelling "all shoved down somewhere in the basement", but she probably doesn't wanna share that part.

>>14777650
But I'm bad at writing.
What am I going to do now?

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>>14777650
>greentexting
>not writing proper prose

mad cuz bad

>>14777670
>*dump it
Although, I might also do the other thing out of sheer frustration.

>>14777687

Write anyway and when you finish it feel immense regret. It's what I do

>>14777689
Can we not?

>>14777658
How is she supposed to menacingly stand on top of her hoard if it isn't a huge unorganized pile of treasures?

>>14777663
Taking her humanoid form over her more powerful dragon form, she understands what it is to live with untapped potential... and still make the best of it. She believes in you, too.

>>14777703
I don't care. Seriously, if I step on one more gold coin, I'm shall be VERY annoyed.

>>14777687
>>14777689
But greentexts are where most people start. Dragon knows the strength of those who write in proper prose, but this is for those who are just beginning. Honor the strong, but encourage the inexperienced.

>>14777705
Fine then!
I will write something so fucking spectacular I will become filthy fucking rich off it"
And as a thank you I'll get that dragon a Gold coin with thank you engraved on it.

Remember. Don't dick the daughteru without your waifus consent!

>>14777683
Wrong... and right. The horde itself is presentable. The basement is where the as of yet unsorted items remain. Crafting a story through imagery by making use of her horde takes time, you know? She isn't single anymore you know? The shine of her husband's skin as they make heated, happy love... is far more appealing to her now than the shine of golds and silvers.

>>14777679
its just dumbshit tho
>Take a nap between her breasts, fishing rod clenched in fist, so perfectly calm and intune with the environment and her steady breathing that even through the deepest slumber, the tug on the line will instantly rouse you
>Cook up the fish, feed half to her
>A pittance, really
>She accepts it with gusto, treating it like the most satisfying meal ever because she's so lonely up at the roof of the world, and doesn't want to dissapoint you
>Her stomach growls anyway
>Bring a harpoon next time to fish up some demon mutated giant whales
>Let her carry you into the oceans, but insist you slay the leviathan yourself
>Drag it back
>Takes a whole week to prepare and cook, the meat thankfully not spoiling due to the frigid north winds.

>>14777641
I respect your bravado. But you probably like that half-measure cheshire who is an even bigger schemer than danon.

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>>14777658
>tfw husbando makes you organize your hoard

>>14777739
Why are tall girls the best?

>>14777735
What if the daughteru rapes me?

>>14777732
Be it rich in a sense that's monetary, rich in satisfaction or rich in ability, it will surely be a good thing to acquire.
Yes, believe in the Dragon who believes in you!
Also she would not mind if said coin was a gold-wrapped chocolate coin. Sweets are also a valued treasure for her now that her husband has introduced them to her.

>>14777754
Then clearly she already talked it out with your waifu.

>>14777738
Flattering, but that doesn't negate or discourage the usage of shelves and similar things.

>>14777754
>>14777769
I'm guessing... this was the end result of a Dhampir and her Vampire mother discussing the latter's generally belittling view of humans, huh?

I'm sure dad would've been happy to simply let them bond over a bloody feast, holding them tight with warm hugs, but...

>>14777743
I don't think anyone in that story is particularly likeable. That being said, I do prefer those with redeeming qualities over those who have none.

Take that as you will.

>>14777718
I'm dyslexic and non-english. writing anything big takes a lot of energy and time for me
But I have done some green text in the past and they weren't terrible. So I can, but it's just a lot harder than for most people.
But I enjoyed doing the green texts. So that's something

>>14777521
Thanks

>>14777794
Everyone has their own pace, anon

>>14777794
Do what you enjoy, and don't let anyone shitpost you away. We enjoy everything we can get, be it prose, greentext, whatever.

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>>14777745
>ends up spending the whole day in the horde once it's organized to make a "my first castle" playset for the daughteru

>>14777815
My, what a productive day that turned out to be.

>>14777814
This. Don't let the two or three shitposters get you down. I've done a few greentexts that have been shitted on in the past and I've done a few that are in pastebins now. Just write what you love.

>>14777770
Well... she's not exactly balancing everything like a house of cards now is she? After all, she can take a mountain of treasure falling on her... but not her dear husband. Naturally she is using the most splendid materials to create the framework for the displays.

>>14777815
>horde
HOARD, anon. HOARD. Horde is what horse pussy and P'Orc bands call themselves.

>Vampire Lord is causing a ruckus
>Be selected to slay the Vampire and the minions
>Work you way up the castle
>Reach the top
>'PREPARE YOURSELF VILLAIN!'
>Final a small, terrified vampire girl hiding behind her throne
>Find it THE BUTLER DID IT and had convinced the minions he was speaking the will of the girl.
>Once he kills you he will start from the beginning and keep the girl locked at the top forever and have the power he desired, no DESERVED!
>Dramatic Organs play as the final battle begins
>Slay Za Butler and end the threat to the country.
>But now there is a still frightened Vampire loli
What do

>>14777837
Bah, if I wanted to look at display cases, I'd be at the museum. Just put it somewhere where it's not in the way.

>>14777840
I want a P'Orc horde to raid my house and take me captive

>>14777850
Pat head.

>>14777850
Headpats and tell everyone the truth.

>>14777833
Exactly. There will always be some faggot willing to claim you're the worst thing the threads have seen, but at the same time you're going to have some anons eagerly awaiting more.
This is 4chan, you're guaranteed to have someone being a dick towards you, so ignore it.

>>14777840
Oh dear, it seems that both myself and my motivational entity have had a long day.

>>14777856
Oh woe is you! Whoever will ever save you?

>>14777850
Slay the vampire too. The butler being the mastermind is so cliched I'm unwilling to believe it anymore.

>>14777850
>>14777877
What if the castle is the true evil?

>>14777856
I want a P'Orc horde to work at my business and call me "Boss", then we'll all go out for drinks. I'll get shitfaced because I sunk most of my life into a business degree that I don't even like and that I'm not sure if I'll be able to keep them on considering the recent sales, and a few of them will drag me home before I make an embarrassment of myself. They'll feed me, put me to bed, and be appreciative that they've got such a caring Boss. Their professionalism will prevent them from raping me.

>>14777877
Other than generic mysteries and Disgaea 3 when has 'The Butler' been the main villain?

>>14777852
The hoard, however, isn't in the way. Naturally a new living space was created over the days spent together. Still, your suggestion that it be tidied was a wise one and even produced some unexpected results >>14777815

But come now, display cases? There are a myriad of methods available to display treasures without simply sticking them in a case.

You can trust the Dragon Waifu just as she trusts you!

>>14777886
How is using a bad cliche more supposed to make me willing to play along? I'm killing the vampire. It's a vampire for fucks sake, it preys on people.

>>14777745
What a second, I know who that shield belongs too.

>>14777881
Don't worry, I'll burn that down too when the vampire is face don with a stake in her heart and a mouth full of garlic. On the sunbed I brought along.

>>14777892
Look, all I'm asking is that she keeps that shit off the floor. You don't see me leaving my shit all over the place where people are stepping on.

>>14777884
Professional P'Orcs are the best, much better than those faceless P'Orcs that spend their ntire days raping innocent men

>>14777881
Just get a headpat-supercharged Kiki/overstimulated Shoggoth team to clear it out. They'll either make it a good castle, or become the lewder evil in the process.

>>14777903
Do tell. It looks familiar, but my brain is failing me, as usual.

>>14777924
http://bato.to/comic/_/comics/tate-no-yuusha-no-nariagari-r12672

Shield Hero.

>>14777850
>>14777877
>>14777906
>You will never be a vampire's hunter hunter

>>14777920
A thick, muscled horde of office ladies in business clothes?

I'd take that horde.

>>14777921
Okay, really now. What the shit is it with some anons and heatpats? It's kind of dumb, the thing isn't even a fetish.

>>14777931
Damn. Yeah, that would've stumped me for weeks.

>>14777944
Vampires are always the villains, anon. Their whole thing is to prey on people and drink their blood. If that sounds like a good guy to you then I assume your house is furnished with human skulls.

>>14777949
Hey Fogman, may I grip a cig?

>>14777963
Vampire hunter pls go

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>>14777949
Why else?

>>14777850
>not working together with the sexy alp butler and killing the useless vampire in a ritual to bring back a dark god, but forgetting that the demon lord made all the dark gods shit so now you have some slut in your house and she won't leave.

>>14777945
Are they all Christmas cakes? This is important.

>>14777969
>fogman
I really don't follow.

>>14777977
Careful. You might cut yourself on that rainbow dagger faggot.

>>14777977
>that the demon lord made all the dark gods
Why have you people forgotten about the Fallen God?

>>14777974
Renfield, please snap out of it.

>>14777850
Hug her.
Tell her that I'll take care off her now.

>>14777980
I imagine that quite a few of them would be.
They'd probably wear lewd underwear too.

>>14777985
How is that edgy? Edgy would be the dark god actually being useful and consuming the souls of the nation's children, instead of rubbing herself off to 80's workout videos and flooding our TV's memory with Big Bang Theory episodes .

>>14777986
But she's the biggest slut god of all! All you do under her is have sex all day, and what is that going to accomplish?

>>14777995
That sounds fantastic. Would it be considered sexual harassment if I'm their boss but also their husband? I just want to marry them all and become the CEO of Orcsoft.

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>>14777840
It's actually called a Clan.

Let me see if I get this right.

1) Marry a dragon.
2) Have to build/ get / acquire a large basement/cavern for said dragon wife
3) Have to make it large enough for her in true dragon form.
4) Have to relocate her entire hoard into said location.
5) Have to organize said hoard on a regular basis.


Would MGC Have Hoard movers, and Hoard Organizers?
I can see some small quiet well dressed MG Hoard interior decorator making a small fortune doing this.

>"Well Ms. Anon, I really think you might consider indirect ambient lighting instead of using actual torches for this area ....."

>>14778024
Dwarves have clans, crivens!

>>14778026
>Hoard movers, and Hoard Organizers
Just get a wizard to do it.

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I want a Satyros to propose by having me pull an engagement ring from her cleavage!

>>14778026
>Hoarders on MGC TV
Every episode features a dragon with no exceptions.

>>14777990
but what are you going to do for food? Also she's going to get sad when you die of old age and she hasn't even aged one year physically

>>14778026
Honestly, it isn't any more annyong that regular moving.

>>14778027
They have Houses.

...I mean they had them before they all became semon demons.

>>14778036
I thought Dragons were on Lairz?

>>14778018
Probably not, although you'd want to be careful with impregnating them.

You don't want a bunch of pregnant orcs in office attire walking around the place.

>>14778034
I want a Satyros to force me to join in and drink with her everyday!
I want her to pour me endless amounts of booze as she slowly seduces me with endless fun and affection!
I want her to drag me to her bedroom and give me the best drunken fuck of my life!
I want her to weep bitterly at my grave long after I've succumbed to liver damage!

>>14778050
Yes I do. You have no idea how much I want this.

>>14778048
With all the shit they accumulate? Those places would get filled with junk and treasure in no time.