/brit/

making a nice chamomile tea

cara

got a letter from the ESA today lads
it said that they regretted to inform me that they would have to refuse my suggestion to launch me into the suns orbit strapped to the hull of a spaceshuttle, bollocks facing forward.

abslutely furious lads

>grad school wants you to attend at least one semester before applying for a scholarship
i just know that if i do that i'm going to get jewed and not get the scholarship, and be stuck paying for another 1.5 years

>>79460370
the yank of europe

be very mmmmm careful now

babestation

>>79460191
hhhhhhhhhmmmmmmhhhhh

be very careful now..........

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Car died this morning

been thinking about the idea of flesh-eating bacteria lately lads.
where would one go to acquire such bacteria and does anbody know if they have a taste for bollocks?

got a letter from customs last week
it said that ordering controlled medications from foreign countries can be dangerous

absolutely furious lads

>>79460278
not noticeably weird and only 20. maybe I can stay on your couch rent free and distract you from the lonely void that is life.

there have been reports that north korea has been testing ballistic missiles
this is true
however, the unrest and alarm that has been caused by these reports is totally without warrant
i can assure you, i have it on personal guarantee from kim jong un that the only thing that is being targeted by these missiles is my bollocks

>>79460407
>vtec
alri gay boy

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Sally, take my hand
We'll travel south cross land
Put out the fire
And don't look past my shoulder.

>>79460429
Why would you post this again
Runt

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these are all internationa shippingroutes superimposed over each other

>>79460429
I don't feel like harboring an illegal alien in my 330 square foot studio. Just come here lad there's a massive homeless population and they seem to do fine.

>>79460452
Please don't be mean, I'm still in mourning

>>79460407
alri ricer

been thinking of drawing an eu flag on my scrotum and then walk into britain like that?

anybody have experience with this kind of thing? do you reckon it would work?

>>79460457
*points to sign that sign that says "if posted below the the new, post again"*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymf30rN4Mxo

third eye is opening lads

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made this

NHS refused my application to surgically attach a weatherballoon to my private parts AGAIN.

This is why I need feminism. Absolutely shaking.

http://www.academia.edu/1940258/Why_was_Britain_first_The_industrial_revolution_in_global_context
doing a read

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>>79460491
Step it up a notch if you're representing Germany

just had a ncie tug to emily grey

https://i.imgur.com/2OE5ZAb.jpg

well??
which type are you?

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>>79460516
https://youtu.be/FHI1k4QHej0

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brexiters btfo!

>>79460551
gore don't open

>>79460461
wouldn't mind setting my scrote in the north sea and giving it a few mins

The International Finance Jewry is the reason why my bollocks haven't been decimated yet lads. I am gathering evidence right now to make an eye-opening youtube video that will start a revolution and institute a truely righteous and just gouvernment.

I. Will. Have. My. Scrotum. Denaturated.

>>79460407
lol

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THHAAAAAIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

>>79460551
crab

i coordinated 9/11, pressed my bollocks straight against the window on the floor directly hit by the first plane

was an absolutely amazing experience

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>>79460582

>>79460564
*upvoted*

(*downvoted* racists in the comments)

>>79460586
hmm a leaf making a good post

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just bought 6kg (500 pieces) of Lindt truffles

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_LHwKxcOIM

>>79460610
why lad

>>79460610
good investment imo

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AMA about organic chemistry

>>79460610
>Lindt
best brand of chocolate

>>79460623
was a good deal 50 quid

been reading up about ancient china lads

did you know that inside the forbidden city only Eunuchs were allowed to serve the king? Far-Eastern wisdom truely is the path to enlightenment.

>>79460629
objectively wrong mate

martin shrikeli gaoled

we did it reddit

>>79460628
have you ever read Houellebecqs "particules elementaires?"

>>79460628
How many can you draw by memory

>>79460631
can i have a kilo
not fat just bulking simple as

>>79460646
sad book

>>79460638
name a better brand of chocolate readily available in supermarkets.

>>79460628
How much time have you invested into your hobby?

>>79460651
alri 20 quid

>>79460661
ferrero

In Russia there used to be a sect in which the men voluntarily cut of their genitals. Don't know if they still exist. Shall do some research on hw to contact them.

business idea: have the chemistry lad unleash a genetically engineered virus

one that has been programmed to specifically target my love spuds

>>79460671
lmao

>>79460632
those eunuchs usurped power more than once

>>79460671
mate

>>79460628
Have you ever had sex

>>79460659
YOU'RE sad

>>79460628
chemistry is just applied physics. literal meme scientist you are

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lmGqG3grTrg

>>79460684
what makes you think chemistry lad has the knowledge or skills to genetically engineer a virus

>>79460690
i would be mad too that you can have your peaches shredded only once

>>79460535
Wow this is recent, too. Impressive. Not as good as the naked briton in Japan, but good still.

oi

>>79460711
because i'm a brainet and all that stuff just blends into one big 'cannot understand'

>>79460646
nein aber ich habe deine mutti gelesen, letzte nacht

>>79460647
what do you mean? structures? reaction mechanisms?

>>79460668
4 years at uni and 2 years working as a synthetic organic chemist

>>79460701
yes I have slept with 11 women including two long term gfs

>>79460707
you're a meme

absolutely steaming at the thought that my tax dollars are going to """"refugees""" instead of bein invested into my ingenious contraption destined to exact more that 8K Megajoules of pressure onto my bollocks.

>>79460726
>Not as good as the naked briton in Japan
what was he doing that was more impressive than riding an electric unicycle whilst masturbating?

>>79460707
>physics
literally just applied mathematics
literal meme scientist you are

>>79460738
structures for chemicals

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thailad

You know it's happening, don't you?
That's right, I am of course referring to the advent of the Todmorden Millennium
Hope you're prepared x

>>79460753
Swimming in the japanese imperial moat


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1071811/Pictured-Naked-Briton-arrested-going-swim-Tokyos-sacred-Imperial-Palace-moat.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmtuCzKy83U
how the fuck did he pull it off lads
can you imagine a society like nazi germany arising today?

>>79460758
>mathematics
literally just applied philosophy
literal meme scientist you are

i remember the day that i shyly asked my primary school teacher for the first of many times to please stick my genitals into the doorframe and slam the door shut.

She said no.
fucking friendzoned again.

>>79460760
well you normally start off with a structure you look up or you may know by heart then as it reacts you keep track of the number of carbons and what atoms you've added/removed

burma btfoing terroristic muslim groupls

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THAIRAD!

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>>79460771

>>79460777
absolute madman

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>>79460797

>>79460797
tell em don't waste my time

>>79460798
>>79460807
>>79460812
SNAP

think i did a little bit too much coke, heart is pounding

i need some volunteers to help me with something:

i would like to start a campaign of targeted disinformation to convince americans that i have discovered large reservoirs of crude oil inside my bollocks.
volunteers please apply to: [email protected]

>>79460791
alright.
draw me diphosphate methyloxoazoline

Now run for your life, or you wanna get your heat, whatever
We can die together
As long as I send your maggot ass to the essence
I don't give a fuck about my presence

>>79460824
go outside and take a deep breath

>>79460824
Brush your teeth then.

Now I remember why I filtered thaicunt

flat earth is real

need a fat gf

to roll over my ballzac with her mobility scooter

>>79460851
it's very cold
>>79460857
already did earlier

>>79460865
Real dumb

can no longer go into any hardware store without immediately creaming myself lads

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>>79460870
google: 1 minute breathing exercise

>yanks think that climate change is a jewish/chinese conspiracy to destroy the usa
>yanks think the earth is flat
>yanks think that the holocaust happened
>yanks think that the twin towers were not an inside job

hmmm

green letters

https://i.4cdn.org/gif/1505359118265.webm

>>79460370
>>79460413
>>79460491
>>79460532
>>79460573
>>79460632
>>79460674
>>79460787
>>79460829
>>79460889

Enuf

My post will be
>>79460928

and the post after THAT will be
>>79460933

>>79460917
>>79460917
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqUR3KtWbTk

where can I buy cheap beef jerky

i have an idea for a movie lads:

A mans testicle becomes self-aware one day and quickly discovers the means to travel back in time. He makes a mistake, however, and ends up in a nazi concentration camp where he gets utterly devastated by Amon Göth and his men,

it would have a kind or romantic-comedy spin to it

>>79460890
doesn't help, i'm not having a panic attack or breathing irregularly my heartbeat is just pretty fast

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Imagine being Daniel Craig in that scene and having to be all like "damn, Mads, you fuckin' fine, all sexy with your tight body and horrific androgynous monster face. I would totally hate having this happen, both my character and the real me." when all he really wants to do is have his testicles walloped for real in his dressing room. Like seriously imagine having to be Craig and not only sit in that chair while Le Chiffre flaunts his heavy rope and knot in front of you, the favorable lighting barely concealing your scarred and leathery scrotum, and just sit there, take after take, hour after hour, while he perfected that move. Not only having to tolerate his monstrous fucking weapon but his haughty attitude as everyone on set tells him HE'S STILL GOT IT and DAMN, MADS MIKKELSEN BASHES BOLLOCKS LIKE *THAT*?? because they're not the ones who have to sit there and watch his mannish fucking hands act out testicle attacks you didn't even know existed before that day. You've been taking nothing but a healthy diet of burns and lacerations and later kicks in the groin from alleged rape victims for your ENTIRE CAREER coming straight out of the BDSM dungeons in Cheshire. You've never even seen anything this fucking powerful before, and now you swear you can taste the sweat that's breaking out on his rippling torso as he sucks it in to motion it aggressively at you, smugly assured that you are enjoying the opportunity to get paid to sit there and revel in your "statuesque (for that is what they tell you to act)" stoicism, the stoicism in the face of bollock destruction you worked so hard for with personal torturers in the previous years. And then the director calls for another take, and you know you could kill every single person in this room before the studio security could sedate you from the pain, but you sit there and endure, because you're fucking Daniel Craig. You're not going to lose your future genital pain over this. Just bear it. Hide your face and bear it.

Why is /brit/ so toxic? Hate toxicity and I bloody hate racists too.

>>79460941
do you have any idea in how to contact Mikkelsen???

>>79460812
So cute when they do that. sawatdee khaaaa

>>79460922
need a fat gf

>>79460954
shut up

paris and LA awarded the olympics after tokyo

>>79460954
kill

>>79460935
My final idea: be water
https://youtu.be/LTnSEFsInp0

>>79460932
shoot a deer and make you're'ur own

>>79460941
>>79460954

please respond

>>79460922
>only lasted 1min10sec
was it even worth getting her fanny out

>>79460974
ah yes i'll just become pee, so fuckign deep bro and let people dam me ahhhhhhh so fucking deep

>>79460935
it's happened to me before and you'll probably be alright, plus everyone's heartbeat is at least a little bit faster on coke
deep breaths should probably make your heart rate slow down a little anyway

>>79460975
*shoots you*

Oh deer

>>79460964
>>79460979
kojima knows
he too is a man of taste

>>79460975
>beef
>deer

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>he doesn't do his weekly shop at M&S

watched an episode of the grand tour

seems a lot faker and really cheesily overacted than top gear used to be. Bit cringey, can very much tell its americans running the show now. The bone car was funny at least

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>>79460984
no pee, be water

why do people use the green letters when they write vlogs?

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IMAGINE dipping your bollocks in this

>>79460985
yeah i'll be okay, it's very slowly going down
my resting heart rate is like 70 and it was 150 for quite a while, about 115 now

>>79461014
ok time to get drunk

still awake well into thailad hours on a weekday

state of me

>>79461033
I'll wait here patiently, let me know when you're water.

absolutely mental to think that people of half my stature have free access to the mot sophisticated of hydraulic presses whereas i am being given a hard time for trying to even sneak into the local scrapyard to have some fun with the car-crushing-contraption they have there.

life isn't fair

>>79461025
just remember to be careful next time x

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>>79461025
>150

>>79460941
was he impotent after this? for some reason i got that vibe

havn't even smirked at one of these bollockposts

hans doesn't have the knack for it

someone please just fucking kill me

>>79461025
Guess what
you can die from this
Take it slow

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>>79460980
>decide to make a porn video for the internet
>cum after 1 minute

>>79461042
what do you do with water
you drink it
past tense of drink is drunk
joke

>>79461058
business idea:

revert to my old, tried-and-true gimmicks

>>79461013
It's just distributed by Amazon, produced by a British company

why supercharge your body with uppers when you can supercharge your mind with psychedelics?

bollockposting is a subtle art
you have to work your way in

business idea:

obliterate my bollocks

>>79461058
*peers into your bedroom*
*surreptitiously places my bollocks in the gap between the door hinge and the frame*

>>79460999
deer jerky is better anyways

>>79461091
no it isn't
be quiet

>>79461097
Elk is best desu

>>79461075
lmao dʳank joke bro

if i were to acquire a sufficiently large magnifying glass, were it possible to set fire to mine meatballs? or would i have to wait until summer?

would like a 6'5" muscular german woman to take a sledgehammer directly to my testicles (also known in some regions, particularly the united kingdom and some other commonwealth realms as "bollocks")

>>79461107
fuck off thainonce ree

huge pile of pubes just sat there in the bin
almost feels like a waste

mine meatballs

>>79461084
then I apologise

either way it isnt that good

is the german flag poster funny
http://www.strawpoll.me/13926548

business idea: migrate to a country where pubic grooming isn't a thing because you've always felt really uncomfortable doing it

>>79461123
if you vote no i WILL cry

olympics went to shit after london

bollockposting is like hunting a 12 point buck
you have to wait for the exact right time to strike

the last time a german were funny shittons of innocents died

>>79461123
funnier than basically every yank in this general

>>79461117
No need we're all friends here
It has its moments but yeah the original is better

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my gif thread took off
>>>/gif/11271511

It may boggle your mind but there are white people who can afford to live in the capital. They weren't fucking retards and actually got good A levels and went to Oxbridge, so they can afford to spend millions on mansions in Kensington and Hampstead

Enjoy your runtshack, Deano. I'll see you Monday morning sharp in my barrister's chambers. I might have something important for you to do, like book me a restaurant table or pick up my son from boarding school

>>79461123
Don't know x

>>79461145
Will have a browse, I kinda like /gif/ and /wsg/

>>79461137
Fol

>>79461151
It may boggle your mind but there are white people who can afford to live in the capital. They weren't fucking retards and actually got good A levels and went to Oxbridge, so they can afford to spend millions on mansions in Kensington and Hampstead

Enjoy your runtshack, Deano. I'll see you Monday morning sharp in my barrister's chambers. I might have something important for you to do, like book me a restaurant table or pick up my son from boarding school

the runt shack is a little place where we can get together

might make a commie twitter account to see how big i can get before turning into a nazbol/third positionist

Watching "no country for old men"
It is a good film
Really captures life and death

>>79461151
Is this pasta? It's shit

>>79461248
not a small enough brain in the world to truly brainlet post this post

>>79461145
nice thread
dont much enjoy seeing dead babies though

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Want to stick my penis in a girl lads

The words on everyone's lips: Greater Todmorden

SHIT I FELL ASLEEP AND FORGOT TO CHECKOUT THE ONLINE SHOPPING

I live in manchester
it's not that great, but it's alright, and I'm humble enough to accept that

>>79461266
Gay

>>79461259
I dont appreciate this comment

I live in Greater Todmorden
It's exceptionally great, I'm humbled by its glory desu

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fucking embarrassing
god i hate fat people

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I'M GONNA DO IT LADS

friend of mine made a comment on a facebook post about pugs calling pugs ugly and inbred, and loads of roasties got angry at him and called him ugly and inbred
ah yes, women

>>79461309
>black pubes
and nothing was lost

>>79461309
Why is your skin so dark

god I hate Germans with a passion.

>>79461309
and on this note i think its time for bed

Business idea: provide venture capital for /brit/ business ideas

>>79461322
>>79461320
because i am black

>>79461323
explain

>>79461309
>knife

lad...

>>79461268
haha great gimmick lad

CONDUCTOR

>>79461331
shan't

>>79461339
explain

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-09-13/moreland-city-council-votes-to-scrap-australia-day-celebrations/8942172

>the city of melbourne

grim

>>79461357
This is a sensible move. What the hell are we doing celebrating Australia day in Britain?

when confronted with their own inferiority, provincials have no other recourse than to call their London superiors pakis
They are deeply uncomfortable with acknowledging the existence of a rich, white, upper middle class London master race (because it reminds them of what pathetic failures they are in this meritocratic society) and so they have a pathological need to characterise every single Londoner as a benefit-scrounging paki living in Tower Hamlets

>>79461364
australia is a state of mind

do you tip?

>>79461370
mental illness more like

my city unironically has ANZAC day dawn services every year

no idea why, can't be that much of an ausnz expat population

cumshot

have set 16 alarms at 10 minute intervals for around 7 hours from now onwards
surely ONE of them will wake me up this time

haha

>he thinks western civilisation and greco roman civilisation are the same thing

>>79461357
why is this happening? abos are 3% of the population, who cares about those literal subhumans

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Avoiding opening my email because I'm afraid of what's in there.

Who else /avoidant/ here?

>>79461381
pretty sure 2/3 of the population of banff are australian

Taking one for the team, here. Oh, you'll report me and I'll be banned for three days - and I'll even wait out my ban like a good, little goy - but it's worth it. These three posts? Those posters are GONE. Fucking SLOTTED. The mods are going to rip them a new asshole and they're going to ENJOY IT.

And the reason? I've been at this festering fuckpit for 9 years and posts like these have been part of the colon cancer that's torn the soul of of this board. And I've HAD IT. I'M FED UP. Fuck you three. Fuck you three shitposting cornholes and the myriad of other fuckboys you brought from Reddit, Tumblr and god-knows-wherever that you brought with you to clog up this place like manky hair and other matter clogs up a drain.

You. Are. OUT.

sex wee

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*vapes your path*

>>79461398
aborigine apologists won't be satisfied until we all sail back to england and let them eat each other and drink themselves to death in peace

>>79461400
it's everyay bro!

>>79461402
stop moving to our resort towns

jasper and whistler are being taken over by bruces too, fucking hate it

once saw an australian in public and almost vomited

don't mind americans but it's a bit odd how they make you cut your willy at customs

in alice springs they celebrate the 4th of july and thanksgiving because there are so many yanks there because they work on a military base or something

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listening to eurobeat

>>79461418
should've exterminated them

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>>79461426
the acquisition of canada is the australian empire's top priority

>>79461418
That'd be funny
Would be like one massive family reuinion

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>>79461447

>>79461439
... White cat snail picture ...

>>79461446
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indigenous_Australians

>2.8% of the population including mixed

reckon we did alright

australia has the coolest name of any country, no doubt about it

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>south africans have a weird obsession with toasted sandwiches


bizarre nation

>>79461404
Mr Simpson Sneed

leafs are bizarre

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>>79461400
>screaming HELLO on top of a mountain
>not screaming DRAGO

t. paki

>>79461400
Reporting

>>79461400
*raises hand*

>>79461492
foy

This thread is for the discussion of the language, culture, travel, daily life, etc. of Japan.
Let's tark at randam in Japanese and English. Take it easy!

Previous Thread: >>79374115 →
Learn Japanese Thread: >>>/int/djt
過去ログ: http://desuarchive.org/int/search/subject/日本語スレッド/

次スレを立てる前に必ずスレ立て宣言をして下さい。次スレリンクも忘れずに。
Please declare when making a new thread and post its link.


Warning: This thread has been under constant spam attack for the past few months. Please use a tripcode to identify yourself if the spammer use your flag, and try 4chanX to filter the spammer.

>>79461515
Not bizarre, just boring, unfunny and unwanted

do not like americans

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going to bed night xx

YOU'RE DONE BUD

WE GOT THE CHAT LOG

He's a problem child
And what bothers him all comes out
When he talks about
His fuckin dad walking out

can't help but think that germany has a secret ancient doctrine that compels them to destroy europe at all costs

>>79461573
that's not true.
we are absolutely normal, just like you.
you can trust us, we are alike.
we are diefinitely human, there can be no doubt about this fact.

>>79461573
>can't help but think that germany has a secret ancient doctrine that compels them to destroy europe at all costs
nah mate thats britain

The country is going to shit, people you once thought were nice decent people turn out to be complete arseholes who think that some people shouldn't have the same rights as they do because of those peoples sexual preferences. Everything is either "left" or "right", and no one is decent or nice anymore. Everyone wants "their" rights to supercede "your" rights and will complain and act like a nasty piece of shit to get their way. Why should someones fondness for doing burnouts in suburban streets at 1am in the morning be restricted by my fondness to have a good nights sleep? Why can't you spit and curse at that poor person who just spent the night sleeping rough under a bush in a park? Why does the school your kids go too have to cater to the kids from that poor family who can never afford excursions and who bully others because that's all they see at home? Can't the school just kick them out and get some kids more like my kids?

The future looks increasingly bleak and when you look into the face of a child in 2017, you don't know whether to be happy for them as they start on their new lives with wide open eyes and a myriad of opportunities ahead of them, or sad at the fact that they are one more on an increasingly crowded planet that is rapidly going down the shitter of species decline, dying reefs, increasing incidents of catastrophic disasters that affect millions at a time and increasingly authoritarian governments run by billionaires, for billionaires. The fact that "See it all before it goes" is now a choice for holidays says something about the world that we live in and the one that the 3 year old happily playing in the park in blissful unawareness will be facing

>>79461557
Do not care

>>79461596
hmm yes... will get back to you on this one...

*surreptitiously places it in the bin under my desk*

>>79461596
don't care about anyone born after 2000, they will always be runts who came so close to being born in the best millennium ever but fell tragically short

would probably destroy europe in exchange for a country house desu

I'm a professional cynic
But my heart's not in it
I'm paying the price of living life to the limit

>>79461665
Do you live in a house, a very nice house in the country?

>>79461631
Can't say it was a particularly good century for Britain pal

>>79461710
don't care about a poverty-ridden island with too much increment weather floating around in the sea near europe lad

>>79461741
I don't care about australia either mate ha ha

>>79461756
wahey!

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Well, goodnight Sneed

Is this the real thread?

after much careful study I've determined the Irish aren't worthy of life

>>79461767
no the real one is /cum/ FOY

business idea: buy a 3d printer and simply print myself a palatial mansion in the middle of london

how could this happen to me

>>79461774
Haha naw I like it here

business idea: buy a 3d printer and simply print myself an entire empire

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if i drove this in the UK would i be swarmed by british qts?

flat earth is real

Hate Yanks
Love Jewish Americans

Simple as

cartiergod bladee cartiergod bladee cartiergod bladee cartiergod bladee

>>79461819
don't think non anglo-saxon protestant americans from the northeast should even have the honour of being called american in the first place, the rest are simply replaceable mutts who belong in the fields and the factories or at the end of a rope

How to get good at cs:go lads?

>>79461852
Crack cocaine and piss bottles

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countries that have no culture:

canada
sweden
germany

countries that nobody likes:

canada
sweden
germany

>>79461852
shoot the baddies

4chan has ruined my perception of women. I assume they all have dicks.
There are attractive Thai woman and Columbian woman at my office and I have an irrational fear they are men.

>>79461865
Germans do have a culture of constantly fucking up the politics of entire ideologies, dressing up like animals, and worshiping women's shit.

looking back at sunsets on the east side

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-09-14/stolen-tiny-house-found-in-qld/8943178

I just cleaned my house. Please praise me.

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>shouldn't drink
>can't think of a reason not to
>drink

everitiem

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>>79461937
you can clean your house but you can't clean your soul

FUCK OFF CUNT

>>79461916
>>79461916
>>79461916
>>79461916
>>79461916

MAKE A FUCKING

NEW

>>79462037
>>79462037
>>79462037

>>79460191
Mhmm careful now