/brit/

remainers=remoaners
It's just factz

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Hello

>>79445194
going to Holland and Germany, pissed off about the exchange rates but still don't regret brexit tbf

>>79445244
puttering at this

>>79445215
are you a girl

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anime

America is on the decline

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>drinking alone again
>tfw no gf

>>79445259
want to hug her

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*enters thread*

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the gf

How do I get a girl off the street to kick me in my balls for money?
What do I need to say to them exactly to put them at ease and follow me to say the asda stairwell or the car park at a local park?

I'd get down on my knees so she wouldn't have to lift her leg that high to kick me
What do I need to say to them?

>>79445279
watcha drinking senpai i'm drunk too

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me on the left

>THE asda

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what are some good subreddits I can binge read the top posts of?

>>79445194
michael caine what a lad

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DONT WANT
TO GO
TO THE GYMMMMMMMMMMM


alan are you here? need some motivation pl0x

>>79445294
kick me in the balls please

>>79445294

got my mates hot gf to kick me in the balls when we were all a bit shitfaced. Get a bit turned on by thinking about it now desu.

>>the mogg
>secretly conspires with his banker/hedge fund manager mates to asset strip UK PLC once the economy turns to shit, while fooling gullible proles into thinking he's a top bloke.

>the people who voted for it were either selfish and mercenary profiteers, uneducated racist mongs, or clueless twits


sorry lads, are you lost? This isn't /r/unitedkingdom, nor is it the comments section of the Guardian!

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I present to you the best music artists of the last 1000 years

>>79445239
>either you're buying stuff that has chemicals/preservatives and whatnot in it that you're allergic to or just don't agree with
its probably this. I don't drink much. maybe I just have a small stomach? should I eat before drinking?

>>79445264
where you going?

>>79445318
glen's vodka straight out the bottle
ultra grim

>>79445333
fuck off reddit cunt

>>79445333
r/bestoflegaladvice
r/weakpots
r/insanepeoplefacebook
r/iamverysmart
r/cringepics

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https://www.standard.co.uk/news/london/developer-launches-cheaper-zone-1-micro-flats-for-londoners-to-be-able-to-live-in-capital-a3632186.html

lucky bastard, did she laugh, hesitate and apologise afterwards or did she kick you really hard?

>>79445383
*putters*

>>79445372
Amsterdam>Utrecht>Bremen>Hamburg

>>79445210

fucking hell

>want to go to tesco to buy a bottle of vodka
>loads of teenagers hanging out outside the front doors smoking and shouting
>turn around and go home
>getting the shakes now because i have no alcohol

>>79445358
>>79445408

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>>79445383
hmm
not sure this is a website i want to be visiting tbqh

>>79445361

it's not /pol/ either. fuck off.

>>79445292

shes amazing FUCK

>>79445413
y not munich

>>79445367
idk about you lad but all the cider here has something called preservative 204, absolutely rapes my stomach even after one, it also could be lactose remnants
eating directly before drinking will just make you drink slower because you've got no room but if you eat 2-3 hours before drinking you'll not get as drunk quicker and have a slightly more endurable hangover
>>79445373
why no mix lad?

>>79445361
>reeeeee leave my echo chamber alone!!!!!1 mean lefties!!!!!!!!!

>>79445480
because i've lost control of my life

>>79445497
wonder if people making posts like this think they're funny or clever

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What do you think of Alan's boyfriend ?

>>79445413
nice.

>never been to one of them and now I feel like a piece of shit

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OPINION:
tiny "rabbithutch" apartments are grim and fucking depressing as shit.
if you want to make small accomodation, dont even fucking pretend that its suitable for having guests round with a desultory shoebox-sized living room. I think that small accomodation should COMMIT to being small, and should be nipponese-style capsule rooms. Lets be honest, nobody is going to use these apartments except for sleeping and wanking anyway, its pointless to pretend differently. Give each block a shared communal area for hanging out and stop the pretension.

>>79445512
where did you find the full photo?

>>79445505
yeah but at least lose control in comfort
just git a bit of juice or summat lad

>>79445441

she laughed but she's quite petite so didn't get much power behind it. It sill bought me to my knees though.

>>79445149
>barely get drunk but get a very painful stomach like I'm going to explode
wtf this happens to me
eventually if I keep drinking I just let out a gigantic burp that sometimes has a bit of sick in, then i'm completely fine

>>79445550
I dont deserve a nice tasting drink

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Ladies all across the world
Listen up, we're looking for recruits
If you're with me, let me see your hands
Stand up and salute
Get your killer heels, sneakers, pumps or lace up your boots
Representing all the women.
Salute, salute!

>>79445456
>brings up politics
>tells others to go to /pol/
screaming

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Nice

>>79445545
he posted it on /fr/

>>79445413
also wish you a good time of course.

work gave my a certificate for not missing a day in 500 days

>>79445497
if you want to be a good little redditor and whine about brexit, here's a link for you: https://www.reddit.com/r/unitedkingdom

it just looks out of place here, lad

>>79445626
>a
>fucking
>certificate

Bisexual, Pansexual, Queer, Woman, Single, 5’ 4”, Overweight

Speaks English, Dropped out of University, Agnostic (but it’s not important)

Smokes sometimes, Drinks socially, Omnivore, Doesn’t have kids, Cancer sign

>>79445626
wow a whole certificate. they must really value you.

>>79445626
work gave me a card at christmas

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POST MORE 80s GIRLS

>>79445573
Romans 3:23 lad we're all cretins
take it easy on yourself, your punishment will come in other ways
>>79445655
>Agnostic (but it’s not important)
>radical centrism
>nottim portant
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand dorpped

want a big storm outside to feel comfy lads

>>79445626
Kek

>>79445460
went there last year
>>79445523
I was only supposed to go to 2 cities but it's ended up like this
only doing 1 night in each apart from Hamburg for 2

Channel 4 still going on about Grenfell. STILL no questions over how many illegals were living in the tower and extrapolating that out to other rented properties across the country

>>79445626
when I was at B&Q they gave me a 4 pack of carlsberg for being a good drone
I was happy to get it

I watch a lot of television. I like The Office (US), Supernatural, TWD, Game of Thrones, Bob's Burgers, Impractical Jokers (US) and Rick and Morty. I love Botched.

I have listened to the same five albums, give or take, for ten years and have no intentions of branching out. You can't save me. I have no interest in discussing music unless all other topics have been absolutely exhausted.

>>79445699
why don't they care as much about the survivors of terror attacks as they do about the people in grenfell tower who are now set for millions upon millions of pounds?

Is Grenfell our 11/9?

Co-worker was talking to me about that pewdiepie drama and he used the n word in convo while this fat women from HR nobody likes was eavesdropping so now they're setting up disciplinary procedures and want me to write a statement. Fuckintg hate work lads.

>>79445719
which five alb's lad

>>79445751
losing to iceland in the euros desu

>>79445655
>>79445719
oozes leftypol

listening to rickandmortywave

>>79445719
third eye status: non-existent

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Why have I wanted my bollocks crushed by a woman since I was little?

>>79445751
it's worse because most of the victims of 9/11 were white

>>79445751
nah, the government was actually responsible for grenfell

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brexit was a mistake

>>79445786
I like ballbusting as a meme but just can't understand the appeal irl
getting hit in the bollocks really hurts

>>79445609
dont post my facebook messages on /brit/ mate

normdrone at work is proud of the fact that she has her sons christmas stockings sorted already

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>>79445814
t. crusty virgin

Sick of politics.
Would love an absolute monarchy guided by the church

>>79445823
I've punched myself in my balls no end of times and tied them up and squeezed them till I felt sick when I've wanked in the past, don't understand why it gets me off

>>79445751
fridge fuel can't melt commie blocks

>>79445786
inferiority complex

>>79445753

>HR

why do they exist again?

>>79445823
think it's something to do with female domination

Seriously in love with this bird
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nD9WmcKM96o

>>79445838
not him, but brexit will probably not result in any material benefit to the UK.

At worst it could be a crisis, at most optimistic it could be a minor inconvenience.

People voted for brexit out of sentiment, not to actually gain anything and that is why brexit will probably not really better anyone's life in any tangible way.

>>79445823
Endorphins

>>79445874
Virgin

>>79445864
To resource the company's humans

>>79445878
she looks like a bird too with that fucking beak m8

>>79445878
who is this lovely jewess

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>>79445878
>tattoos

>>79445848
at least we would have great aesthetics

>>79445878
could land a 737 on her nose

>>79445848
how would this make your life any better?

found out my fwb is gay lads

>>79445848
This

>>79445878

fucking beak on that

>>79445929
737 first officer here, I'll give it a shot

>>79445939
selfish prick
ah yes it's all about my life and my enjoyment yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas gib cummies yaaaaaaaaaaas

we need to privatise the NHS

I'm a bit of an introvert so can be really shy at first but when you get past that I can be really outgoing, just need the right person to encourage that out of me.

>>79445977
WHO'S GONNA WASTE THE EFFORT

>>79445977
literally every single girl has this written on their dating profile

>>79445939
General life would be more peaceful and we wouldn't have to bother with politics so we could focus on more useful things

>>79445969
I care about my own life and the lives of as many people as possible.

don't see how absolute monarchy headed by a churh would be beneficial to either of those, but perhaps I can be convinced.

did a massive fart that was immediately followed by a little really high-pitched one haha

business idea: alienate everybody

>>79445977
I have that person, her name is vodka

GOT A £10 MONEY CARD FROM TESCO AFTER RETURNING A £1 PRODUCT A WHILE AGO LADS

>>79446010
What if the church or monarch decides to be a prick and make your life very violent and stressful?

Like in North Korea.

did a massive fart that was immediately followed by a sticky deposit in my boxers haha

I find old people really entitled rude and annoying. Thanks for your time.

>>79446050
THIEF

might spend £6k travelling to nonce island

just heard someone scream cuck outside

business idea: right wing labour party

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>>79445848
wouldn't mind that myself

>be american
>get shot

donald trump? donald drumpf is more like it

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>>79446054

We get a topless chick to lead us to freedom and overthrow them
(The French way)

Or we just behead them until they stop being cunts
(The English way)

what CL game you watching tonight lads?

>>79446066
nonce

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m-m-m-MUMMY!!!

>>79446063
I THIEVED NOTHING LAD I FOUND A SPIDER IN MY SALAD

>>79446060

This desu

>>79446060
same. Old people are the biggest ignoramuses around. Its not their fault, but you have to consider that they grow up in a time where if you wanted to know what the capital of china was you had to go to a library, take out a book on geography, check it was a recent edition and then look in the index for china and then find the page for china and find what the capital was and hope that the book was recent enough that it was not likely to have changed or hear some fact on the radio, literally no way to verify it besides going to a library and again searching through reference book after reference book hoping they are recent enough

>>79446108
none
I prefer to keep my third eye open

>>79446108
the arsenal game

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I watch her verbal humiliation/sph clips before her old asmr videos, I can cum while she insults me and then fall asleep while she soothes me.
She caters to someone like me so well

>those people who pronounce gas like "garz"

cheeky cunts

>>79446108

is there a free one on bt showcase?

>>79446145
loser

>>79446105
why don't saudi arabia and north korea do that?

>>79446145
puttering at this

had a good laugh at grenfell and all the foaming lefty runtoids who feigned outrage but don't give a shit when a terrorist attack happens

>>79446163
do they also pronounce ass like arse? yeah hate those people

>>79446121
>human
pleb

>>79445878
I got a tattoo and unironically wish I didn't.

feels pretty shit

>>79446108

too busy reading about quantum mechanics

>>79446163
hate people who pronounce petrol like gas more desu

>>79446108
spuds-dortmund

just made my roommate fuck off by typing very loudly. feels good. hate that cunt

https://twitter.com/sara_davidson/status/906970010312232962
LMAO

>>79446161
give your head a wobble mate

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>https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magocracy

now THIS is a govermental system I can get behind

>>79446108
I'm so erudite i don't even know what CL game is.

think i'm incapable of intimacy

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>>79445823
saw a funny one on /gif/ a while ago which was a bloke with his cock and balls through a big wooden board, and he lay under neath it.

There was a girl standing on a small wooden square board which was on his balls and she just shifted her weight about and squished his bollocks

The reason i liked it so much was he sounded exactly like Alan Partridge
>oooohhhh owwwwwwwwww
>youve squashed them! There they are, totally flat
>youve actually squashed my balls flat! ooohhhhh owwww

wish i'd saved it for the giggles desu

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>what CL game you watching tonight lads?

>>79445878
sounds like she got molested at a young age

>>79446223
elaborate

>>79446202
can you reccomend a good mechanic for my quantum ute
waheyyyyyyyy

>>79446222
when did she unblock her twitter?

>>79446240
pics of the quantum ute

should i go to the gym?
i dont wanna

>>79446054
The church has pretty good morals.
Also I think they'd be afraid from scaring people off. They've already had a backlash in the past. They would probably be pretty careful to be good

Values and respect are really important to me, as is my career, but a work-life balance is absolutely necessary. It's be nice to make memories with someone and do all the scary stuff of being an adult, buying a house and marriage and children one day.

>>79446252
Recently

I come here to shitpost, not to discuss british culture

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this gay guy i know thought i was gay

>>79446182

>had a good laugh at grenfall
>don't give a shit when a terrorist attack happens

>>79446270
>the church has pretty good morals
FUCK
OFF
PAEDO
SCUM

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just realised the reason the ex gf left me and cut all communication with me was probably because I didn't buy her a christmas present and she bought me some nice things

we'd only been going out for 4 months as well, touchy sket

haha

>>79445753
I used to work in a shitty call centre, at lunch I dropped my apple on the floor and said "fucking hell" and later that day the woman pulled me out of work to tell me to watch my language, it was like being in school.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqSr7e7WxoI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqSr7e7WxoI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqSr7e7WxoI

new kero kero bonito video
>new kero kero bonito video
new kero kero bonito video
>new kero kero bonito video
new kero kero bonito video
>new kero kero bonito video
new kero kero bonito video
>new kero kero bonito video
new kero kero bonito video
>new kero kero bonito video
new kero kero bonito video
>new kero kero bonito video
new kero kero bonito video
>new kero kero bonito video

WE ARE LIVING IN A RUNTOCRACY
RESTORE THE CHAD EMPIRE

>>79446287
same desu

>>79446292
bum him for the banter lad

>>79446270
name one moral teaching that you cant achieve with non-belief

>>79446304
>only
>4 months

REALLY hoping his is a meme post

>>79446292
have gAY SEX

going to watch the man kick the ball for a couple of hours, lads
be back later!

would gladly live in a rabbit hutch flat if it was cheap enough, although i imagine those in central would still be £2k a month

>>79445929
she could eat a hoagie in a rainstorm

why do basic guys like sheeny women so much? it's just "girls with mental illness" 2.0b

>>79446270
If they were in charge in the first instance they could just do inquisitons and get lots of money.

ever notice how the only nice old buildings in the UK are for either stately homes of nobility or churches. and besides that there is no nice buildings that acted as shops or market places or houses of non-nobility built prior to the 1700s

thats because the system you want to live under would have nobles making you rent land off them so that you can do subsistence farming and the church taxing you

>>79446332
don't donate the corpses of post-birth aborted children to pedophiles

any /runtocrats/ in?

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just found a pea in my baked beans lads

>>79446294
lmao
good spot

>>79446292
wherefore

>>79446322
>vending machine
>what do I do???

state

>>79446352

this desu. If they were <£500 a month I would and maybe <£400 in other cities

>>79446355
sheeny?

is there a brit discored

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just found out "wherefore" does not mean "where"

>>79446303
That's against their morals though. There are just bad people within the church and other bad people who like to cover it up. Similar to the problems in most organisations it needs to be stamped out

*keeps things ticking over in midfield*

>>79446372
beyond beautiful post

>>79446426
yesh

>>79446426
yeh

just called my black gf a porch monkey lads

>>79446434
wherefore means why

>>79446426
https://discord.me/page/leftypol_int

>>79446426
discord.com/?invite=f0yNk_1812

>>79446438
*stamps out your nuts*

>>79446448
called my black gf a porsche monkey
she hooted and grabbed the wheel

>>79446413
Jews

>I've these weird attraction to Jewish girls!!! so odd and quirky ahahah

it's foot fetish-tier basic

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There's been a rebellion, sir.
Don't worry. The situation is under control.
I'm sorry, sir. It's time for you to leave.

>>79446332
Any of them

called my black gf a dumb nigger

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>>79446503
Wailing

>>79446503
dont really understand this

>>79446503
you can call 999 without unlocking

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Can't believe people actually do this

>>79446528
black gf (male)

>>79446536
but an anchor would make you sink?

told the black gf that drumpf is not my president

>>79446550
coppers are a bunch of daft cunt prick twats
useless buggers

>>79446551
have done this before.

couldn't help but think 'i'm actually doing this'

i realised it didn't actually feel that good to do this sort of thing, but on the other hand now its unavailable to me i crave it again.

weird.

>>79446570
stops you being dragged down into the plughole

fuck donald drumpf

>>79446551
'e

>>79446551
cute

>>79446538
he's talking about when you're pinging

>>79446526
yeh not quite. just obliterated your gullibility in one post. so much for your g*d lol

>>79446551
disgusting, keep your sick fetish to yourself.

>>79446605
feel best after getting off with a girl and I can actually devote myself to my real interests. It's not great but it seems to be such a basic psychological need that you just got to have it

blumphf is fucking finished

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heh

Marx and Hitler were right

>>79446681
he's got a point...

>>79446681
he's literally, literally not wrong

>>79446681
awesome my dude you should post this to r/atheism

Would I want to live in a huge 100-room mansion?
No, I would not.

Would I want to live in a large manor?
Yes, I would.

Would I want to live in a decently-sized townhouse?
Fuck YES, I would LOVE to.

Would I want to live in a newbuild?
No, I would not.

Would I want to live in an apartment?
Yes, I would.

Would I want to live in a studio apartment?
No, I would not.

Would I want to live in a rabbithutch apartment?
No, I would not.

Would I want to live in a tiny capsule apartment with only enough room for a bed?
Fuck YES, I would LOVE to.

>>79446605
100% know this feel. i remember whenevr i was with a girl i would think "i have to enjoy this moment", but i wasn't really enjoying it.

fuck god he doesn't do anything to help starving children
what's that? donate to africa? yeah nah gotta save up for me eccies this weekend ahah x

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>>79445292
very good

>>79446718
the virgin opinion

>>79446735
my nigga.

>>79446740
god: an all-loving all-powerful, omniscient, perfect being
me: none of those things

Donald Trump?
More like 'done old grump'

the first few times i had sex all i was thinking about was how best to act so the other guy thought i was attractive

and i focussed so hard on making cute noises and keeping my back arched and stuff I totally forgot to actually enjoy it at all.

Now I know better though and idgaf anymore ha ha ha

>>79446681
duuuude
*hits zoot*

https://www.bbc.com/pidgin/tori-41253054

>>79446786
god: knows whats best, doesn't hand out gobbies for all eternity
you: a brainlet

>>79446798
fuck off batty boy

>>79446786
>being

>>79446798
hope a fag basher caves your skull in

>>79446798
stopped reading another guy

>>79446740
>>79446827
>dude why don't you just play god lol it's your fault they're starving lol
retard

Good PC games made before 2005?

>>79446904
nethack

>>79446904
Math Blasters

>>79446681
God
>cares about what bits of your genitalia you remove
>cares about who you go to bed with and in what way
>cares about what holy days you observe
>cares about what you eat

doesnt care about stopping death, disease and starvation or the rest of humanity's suffering.

even if he did exist, i shant be worshipping that authoritarian lunatic.

just want to go back to the city, can't take living in the suburbs. Feels like my life is on hold

>>79446798
started reading another guy

>>79446904
minesweeper

Business idea: heterobashing

>>79446904
morrowind
gothic

>>79446932
god: an all-loving all-powerful, omniscient, perfect being
me: knows better than him

>>79446904
Majesty: The Fantasy Kingdom Sim

>sex with cars
>sex on top of cars
>sex with ringo starr

>>79446904
hexen and heretic

>>79446798
i know what you mean, that's something you dont really think about when watching porn

getting my dick sucked and she kept making eye contact, didnt know what to do so i was just smiling, must have looked a bit off heh

told my progressive mother I was straight, she did not take it well

>>79446904
Fallout 1
Fallout 2
Planescape Torment
Baldur's Gate: Dark Alliance 2

brainlet: god is a big man in the sky who does stuff and is all powerful and loves humans and etc

non-brainlet: if there is a god, it is likely to be a substance which underlies sensible reality and is a first cause. it is likely to be the source from which all things emanate from, but which is beyond all things. it is therefore beyond our comprehension and possibly has attributes of an infinite but unchangeable thing.

>>79446904
Lego stunt rally
Championship manager 4

rip ludders

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpZcxMNfXAI
which one of you did this?

>>79446963
i've never sanctioned genocide, slavery or child sacrifice so im fairly superior to him in many ways.

In the last 25 posts I got 14 (You)s

gotta be a personal record for me

>>79446904
delta force series

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>if there is a god, it is likely to be a substance which underlies sensible reality and is a first cause. it is likely to be the source from which all things emanate from, but which is beyond all things. it is therefore beyond our comprehension and possibly has attributes of an infinite but unchangeable thing.

*reads reddit, watches funny Jewish comedians*
heh God isn't real, if he is, he's a horrible violent cunt

*reads Aquinas*
we need God in our society lads

just got blocked by steve shives

>>79447009
ah so just wild speculation over stuff that can never be observed or measured. wow so profound.

>>79446798
hot

>>79447032
:)

>>79447009
t. tommy aquinas

>>79447025
*god doesn't exist*
*suffering becomes meaningless in the face of mindless physics*
b-but muh cummies

Someone told HR I was being white in the staff room and now I have a disciplinary

Union rep is refusing to be present

might go back to Africa

remembee when the iPhone came out and it was really revolutionary and every new release was exciting

>>79447046
sorry a personal god is ridiculous. If there is a God or first cause it is definitely not anthropomorphised.

It would have to be a metaphysical substance from which things emanate from.

I WANT MUZZIE GF NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

>>79447017
>got ghosted
>got pissed and told them to stop
>they stop
>i ghost them instead
Haha, take that!

>>79446956
are gothic 1 or 3 good? 2 wont work on my pc for some reason :'(

Was served by a tranny today that had a 5 O'Clock shadow

Like if you're going to pretend to be a woman at least put some effort in mate

>>79447083
who says suffering becomes meaningless?

god exists, just try lsd

>>79447123
>>79447123
>>79447123
>>79447123

>>79447099
prove it

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>>79447121
I saw the tranny midget again today

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So called gf broke up with me lads

made a godsona

>>79447124
holy brainlet, you don't even understand reductionist materialism
you deserve it

>>79446904
ut2k4
pariah

>>79447073
>ah so just wild speculation over stuff that can never be observed or measured. wow so profound.

Yeah that's what metaphysics and epistemology are. They have a value because it, speculation in itself so long as its based on reasonable logic is a worthy pursuit.
>>79447083
Thomas Aquinas was just trying to reconcile christfagology with ideas of plato.

The idea of an impersonal God as a substance is quite an old one that can be found in Greek and Indian traditions.

>>79447099
what if all reality in fact exists only because of our perception of it, and so an anthropomorphised God might very well be formed out of the metaphysical ooze of possibility by the very act of our experiencing Him

>>79447093
no

>>79446904
starcraft

Moved by so much suffering Christ not only allows himself to be touched by the sick, but he makes their miseries his own: "He took our infirmities and bore our diseases." But he did not heal all the sick. His healings were signs of the coming of the Kingdom of God. They announced a more radical healing: the victory over sin and death through his Passover. On the cross Christ took upon himself the whole weight of evil and took away the "sin of the world," of which illness is only a consequence. By his passion and death on the cross Christ has given a new meaning to suffering: it can henceforth configure us to him and unite us with his redemptive Passion.

>>79447265
you sound cute :3 <3

Took my first selfie of like 10 years to register for this stupid airbnb site lads