/brit/

even deano reads sports autobiographies

how dumb are you if you never read books at all? i shudder to think

think i'm genuinely bored of MDMA

what's a good drug to get into

>>79277869
Jelly?

>>79277902
lyrica

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me on the left

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sophie

>>79277902
Heroin

>>79277902
you take it too often then
try DMT

playing xcom and loading every time I miss lol

>>79277869

Waited in this station for 3hrs freezing my bollocks off

I think Hitler would have approved of modern Germany.
He finally got the German dominance of Europe that he wanted.

>>79277902
life

>>79277913
odd nipple variation between the two

>>79277902
heroin

>>79277914
shit knees 3/10 wnb

>>79277925
Completely wrong. He would call it Jewish domination

nork troops are always jumping the border into china to steal food from farms

had a dream I got mugged and stabbed in the thigh

>>79277926
woah

>>79277909
seen it on the niggernet, might try it

>>79277902
Opium

massive aphex twin fan

>>79277924
>>79277907
it's a cool station
i like all the different layers and stuff

>>79277953
does china punish them for it

>>79277953
weak should fear the strong

what is your major sexual triumph? your bonkus mirabilis?

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>>79277992

>>79277992
girl wanted to have sex with me more than I did with her

>>79277992
shagged a girl who said she'd never shag me, repeatedly.

hate when youre having a shit and it feels like theres loads left in there but theres just bits of liquid sputtering out

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29 and never had sex
feel physically sick from depression

come on you slags

>>79277992
almost had a threesome but i was too drunk to get it up

was a bit humiliating

>>79277992
shagging some girl whilst her older brother was next door playing league

fucking hated him as well

>>79278061
your standards are too high, only reason

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0.0

>>79277914
Shit legs. Wouldn't impregnate.

>>79278061
Please vacate this area, /brit/ is a normie general and we don't want your toxic type here

>>79278061
plenty of desperate single mothers on any dating site

just smash it and dash wahey

just made a post on ck lads

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>>79278079
A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long body?"

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Dryer is broken and the housemate has left her clothes outside and it's pissing down, said she needed her clothes to go out tonight but hasn't seen the rain.

Little does she know I saw her use my leftover pasta and I shall NOT be informing her of the rain.

Lads how do working class cafes work

Do I go up to the counter and order or do I sit at a table and order
too autismo for thi

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>>79278106

>>79278065
wow bet that made his brother jealous he wasn't banging his sister

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neighbours are playing KILLER chunes

>she hit the floor, she hit the floor

>>79278114
Pain begets pain

did too much coke now my pits are absolutely soaked

>>79278116
if its got menus on the table sit down, if it doesn't go up

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>>79278061
good job almost there

>>79278132
baguettes

>>79278079
who?

>>79277992
shagging the gf in her brother's bed
shagging the gf in her sister's bed
shagging the gf in my mates' parents' bed

>>79277992
fucked a girl with a bf after she said she hated me

>>79278166
pipe down louiser

*joins the European Union*

>>79278178
only counts as one

hate when normies think men are virgins because of high standards

>>79278173
I'm Dan

>>79277992
sexted with every girl in the group chat

nelson mandela was a stalinist terrorist

>>79277992
girl passed out during intercourse

>>79277992
I uh, ummm.....

I've had a lot of sex and sexual experiences! But it's all been haunting in one way or another so quantity over quantity ey hahahaha

Why are you all using drugs?

>>79278061
have you felt your wizard powers start to awaken?

>>79278247
cause lifes grim mate

>>79278232
The proper English term is 'fell asleep'

>>79278122
were you the brother or something? lol

fact is I was dicking his sister whilst he was slouched over his computer and there wasn't a single thing he could do about it

>>79278247
only the NEETs

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I'll never fall in line
Become another victim of your conformity

>>79278274
no because she regained consciousness 30 seconds later

>>79278247
Friday/Saturday night I get cosy, lock myself away in a little station consisting of my bed, tv, laptop, consoles, booze, sex toys and drugs. Get on it about 7pm and go through to about 4am just relaxing and having fun, it's a great escape from the ol' wagie life.

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CANelo gonna get knockedd the eff out

>>79277992
Fucked a girl and then later when she was asleep I held her panties to my face and breathed them in while I masturbated over her.

>>79278284
NEETs cant afford drugs

>>79278276
bet he was fuming you were thinking about him while fucking his sister

is bbc news working for everyone else?

>>79278285
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6N1PciZxAkM

The Guild 2 is the shittiest game I've ever seen.

This must be a joke.

>>79278309
literally /ourguy/

>>79278247
Because I like it.

>>79278338
Wtf.this is so fucking retarted. Whoever made this should go fuck themeselves and get a life. It's retarded wasting your time bashing someone's appearance when it has nothing to do with who they are..and it's NOT FUNNY AT ALL it just makes no sense. Get a fucking life dude this isn't even funny.

>>79278245
>>79278232
>>79278216
>>79278190
>>79278178
>>79278065
>>79278064
>>79278028
>>79278025
>>79278319
FONT

Have a theory that girls who like to be dominated enjoy the game 'Dead by Daylight'

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>>79278196

personality is what matters....just be urself x

>>79278276
what was he supposed to do? burst in and tell her she has to wait till marriage before sex?

>>79278332
nah it's been shit for the last 5 years

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all the lads said how wench I was getting last night

choke a bint out 2017

>>79278338
this guy can respectfully go fuck himself. this guy is a rock legend and the biggest badass that ever lived in music, not those cheap imitating wank buster niggers with their cornrows and "sick" beats. he will always be my favorite musician and anyone who has other opinions can kindly suck a dick.

>>79278355
Go post more angry wojaks m8

>>79278342
never heard of it

>>79278247

to delve into my unconscious

want to see rosy naked

>>79278404
want to see you naked

>>79278247
to discover the secrets of the universe and see through the "game"

>>79278404
well then you better pay up piggy

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point to the easy work lads

>>79278404
squeal piggy squeal

IMPORTANT POLL
https://strawpoll.com/65781w2y
https://strawpoll.com/65781w2y
https://strawpoll.com/65781w2y
https://strawpoll.com/65781w2y
https://strawpoll.com/65781w2y
https://strawpoll.com/65781w2y

>>79278367
this picture is a strange reminder of the twisted world of the incel

>>79278353
>>79278386
Calm down guys. It's a parody video and done pretty well.

genuinely fear for yuka kinoshita's safety

eating all that shit can't be healthy

all for a bit of youtube fame. smdh

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>>79278435
<-------

>>79278440
how long has strawpoll looked like THAT??

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>>79278441

incels are right though

That's all the University stuff packed up in the car! Heading away in about 3/4 of a hour

>>79278338
Thats just ridiculous. He is not fat. Go fuck yourself. Dont you have anything els to do? Besides Deryck was depressed even though he didnt say so. What would you do if your world was falling apart...? Yeah so fuck the hell of

*lowers down the radio*
quiet now lads for sec... think we're lost

>>79278496
don't care

graduated from uni and don't know what to do with my life lol x

>>79278506
Rorke just mad because he fucked up in life and didn't go to uni ;)

>>79278496
prepare for a massive let down
uni is shite

>>79278523
gay shit?

>>79278496

you literally don't remember 9/11, fucking hell, piss off kid

>>79278535
Why? It's probably because you're Irish or you were antisocial as fuck. And I am neither of those two things

>women go for attractive men on an app in which you decide who you want to speak to based on their attractiveness

well blow me down

>>79278534
make 40k a year as a plumber and electrician

back is going to be absolutely fucked by the time im 40 though haha

>>79278546

Calm down granddad

FACT: over three million men in this country have slept with ten or more women. And do they all look like Richard Gere? Are they all as rich as Croesus, as charming as Clark Gable, as preposterously endowed as Errol Flynn, as witty as Clive James? Nope. it's nothing to do with any of that. Maybe half a dozen of that three million have one or more of these attributes, but that still leaves... well, three million, give or take half a dozen. And they're just blokes. We're just blokes, because I, even I, am a member of the exclusive three million club. ten is not so many if you're unmarried and in your mid-thirties. Ten partners in a couple of decades of sexual activity is actually pretty feeble, if you think about it: one partner every two years, and if any of those partners was a one-night stand, and that one-night stand came in the middle of a two-year drought, then you're not in trouble exactly, but you're hardly the Number One Lurve Man in your particular postal district. Ten isn't a lot, not for the thirtysomething bachelor. Twenty isn't a lot, if you look at it that way. Anything over thirty, I reckon, and you're entitled to appear on an Oprah about promiscuity. I've had seventeen "lovers". How do I do it? I wear bad jumpers, I give my ex-girlfriends a hard time, I'm grumpy, I'm skint, I hang out with morons, and so on, and yet I've slept with seventeen women. You want to know how it comes about? I ask questions. That's it. That's my secret. If someone wanted to know how to get off with seventeen women, or more, no less, that's what I'd tell them: ask questions. It works precisely because that isn't how you're supposed to do it, if you listen to the collective male wisdom. There are still enough of the old-style, big gobbed, self-opinionated egomaniacs to make someone like me appear refreshingly different. One woman I've been with has even said something along those lines to me.

breath smells HORRIFIC in the mornings, what do i do in the unlikely event i wake up next to a female someday?

>>79278327
fuck off virgin, didn't like him, don't like you, didn't even notice he was even there until she got worried she was making too much noise

simple

>>79278573

I'll be £50k in debt

>>79278491
wouldn't have read past the first line of the bio meself desu

>women will go for a rapist because they're attractive.

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The GF's English textbook

>>79278583
don't think you need to worry about that lad

>>79278583
brush your teeth before bed

>>79278552
>>79278535
>>79278496
Old cunts waxing lyrical about university and building up into some mythical 3 years that are the best you'll ever have means it's never going to live up to your expectations

it's actually good but just not as good as everyone pretends

anyone else drinking

>>79278583
check for tonsil stones

>>79278552
because most people in uni are stupid cunts. I have more fun when I come home and go out with my real friends than I do going out on shit student nights

>>79278583
stop being a mouthbreather

>twix cookies
>Tesco wine gums
>thai sweet chilli crisps
>mr kipling battenbourg cake

rate the cheat day lads

>>79278613

I obviously do that already

>>79278606
there are no chavs left in london

>>79278647
brush your teeth during the night

>>79278635
what kind of mong goes out to student nights? or is that the best ireland has to offer in terms of nightlife?

>>79278583
tooth decay

choon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9j8t7d-Gv4

>>79278645
>wine gums

absolutely vile

>>79278369
nah obviously not, it's more the fact I didn't like him, he didn't like me but regardless of his opinion he still had to listen to his sister get shagged and there wasn't a thing he could do

>>79278491
I would like to see this same experiment tried with a sexy woman to with a shit bio to see how many people reply
I bet a lot would.
desu these people don't get dates usually because they are annoying and hard to be around regardless of sex.

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the gf's bum

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*beep beep*

>night

Floss, tounge scraper, non-alcoholic mouthwash, brush with electric toothbrush(gargle toothpaste after brushing), also keep a glass of water near bed and have a sip whenever you wake up

>morning

wake up before her, mouthwash, tongue scraper and brush

>>79278635

Ahahaha you were that kind of mong that went to student nights. How embarrassing are you

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>there are "people" ITT that don't brush thrice daily and shower twice daily

>>79278645
absolutely fantastic taste lad

>>79278645
sounds banging

>>79278583
everyones breath smells bad in the morning

was supposed to go to the last night of the proms with 4 mates today

but i forgot to get out of bed, and so did everyone else

so i guessbwe arent doing it after all lmao

still remember the chav epidemic of the mid 2000s

burberry even stopped making baseball caps because of it

now they're evolved into chino wankers and deanos

>>79278700
not mine unless i smoke a cig straight before going to bed

>>79278688
me

Anybody remember "that" teacher with the really bad cock breath?

Mr. Logan was his name, big twat

>>79277902
every drug is fucking boring mate let's be honest you take them to not be yourself for x amount of time. In this sense I find alcohol very reliable, i've never done heroin but I hear that's good.

>>79278716
thats just what you think

>>79278679

looks like a street sweeper

>>79278669
well nearly every club in dublin has student discounts every weekday. And I didn't mean specific student nights i just meant nights out with other students.
You'll probably love it though, you seem like the type that'll do one dab of mandy on your first night out in uni and think your a legend sesh head for it

>>79278704
they all got jobs, dumped their knives and left the underclass? doubt it

>>79278703
>>79278704
reddit spacing

any roadman in

>>79278738
projecting pretty hard there padraig. i literally just mocked those kind of events and now you think i like them? give your potato a wobble.

ahh just spent 2 hours catching up on work I wasn't able to finish on friday

>>79278678
*takes a cheeky sniff*

>>79278738
me

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THIS IS NOW A COMMUNIST THREAD

>>79278770
up today for monday now though, yay

bought my luncheon from greggs even though im not working class

heading away in 30 minutes lads, proper excited

>>79278768
but they aren't event nights, Its literally every night in every club monday to thursday. Go out on a friday or saturday and you can see the difference when all the arrogant students go back to their poshy parents house

mum's probably going to cry when i leave

>i will never catch up my work because there is no such thing called a goal

>>79278822
you sound like the one that's going to cry

All whites get the bullet come the revolution.

nights out on a saturday night are absolutely grim, full of literal 30 year olds in town

Haha, all the old cucks getting btfo'd on the weekend by students

Any japs here?

https://youtu.be/I0uFrq5m1_g

what's the original song?

left uni over 5 years ago, last year we ended up in a club that has a student night it was FUCKING DIRE

>>79278824
true neutralist here

>>79278862
yeh me

>>79278858
love the word cucks haha don't see it being used enough

>>79278822
you'll cry when you make no friends
like I did lmao

>>79278847
yeh fuck those guys for having fun with their mates. how dare they not put an arbitrary age restriction on going out.

cannot STAND student clubs, bunch of poor students dressed in cheap topman clothing

I only go to finer establishments

>>79278869
>things were better in my prime

oh fuck off you actually sound like you're 85 years old

doing a coke wank

>>79278869
anyone over the age of 25 going clubbing is cringe

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>margherita

>>79278898
why are you on /brit/ then?

*makes sniffing gestures*

Lynx... Africa...

*cocks the gun*

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>let the lard of the black land come farth!
its cool that Aragon was Irish

paying a doctor $350 a month for a massive supply of xanax, valium, and amphetamines. I love america.

/BRIT/ IS A STUDENT GENERAL
if you're no longer a student please fuck off

>>79278892
t. literal 30 year old who goes clubbing

didn't meet any lad in uni I didn't hate

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dksaNjB6izc

>>79278887

If that happens, then I'll suck it up and role with the punches. I get on with everybody and have already met some of the people in my class, so calm down

have never really "enjoyed" clubs
only go when I can get a couch section to just relax and smoke/drink with some mates/the gf away from the speakers
but they always cost so much money for a mediocre time
prefer going to a bar with maybe some music or whatever going on if I want something different

>>79278902
where did i say it was better back then? please don't make shit up. I am reiterating that student nights were shit as a student and shit as a non student.

>>79278910
you're mental clubbing is one of the best things to do, doesn't get much better than corsica studios or bar 414 or what have you

only frequent clubs known for heavy drug use
keeps the normies at bay

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It wasn't supposed to be a documentary

>>79278868
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLfkOvfvhZ4

If I could go back to uni age and know what I know now, I'd pull like no tomorrow

>>79278940
t. literal paki who hates fun and socialising

>>79278806
why are you leaving so early?
my term doesnt start until October

reminder that /brit/ is a general for people born while john major was prime minister

you must live in really boring shit-holes if student clubs are a thing. can imagine all you losers in your jeans and shirts going to pryzm.

when oi grow op - oi'm goin to pedater university!

Literally wearing topman right now

watching the footy on sky go

Is piano or guitar cooler

>>79278935

enjoy the long term health damage and excruciating withdrawals

>>79278982
that's because you go to a shitty ex-poly you fucking window licker.

>>79279006
drums

t. drummer

>>79278954
literally don't know if i've ever cared about a post less than this one

>>79278940
not even close. just not a bitter loser like you.

what did they mean by this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cX8szNPgrEs

>>79279012
its Oxford actually

>>79278982

???? my course starts early ? spastic

>>79278971
give us some tips then grandad

>>79278961
you are a normie

>>79279022
don't care

stopped caring about footy after i took acid 30+ times

>>79279012
state of this post

>>79278690
You shouldn't brush three times a day you'll wear down your teeth

You also don't really have an excuse to shower 2x a day unless you engage in enough exercise to get sweaty.

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>all you losers in your jeans and shirts

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZJx7kV6XoE

can't believe I have to share this general with a bunch of entitled students

Can't WAIT until you experience the real world and your fancy piece of paper doesn't mean SHIT

>>79277992
Never got caught jerking off in my whole life

>>79279029
be confident
go up and talk to girls
dont try too hard

Love it when /brit/ is at each other's necks

>>79278806
you sound like a yank

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>>79279022
if you tolerate this your children will be next

>>79279050
state of this dumb nigger

>>79279060

If I get a 2:1 I can breeze through jobs

recon i have strong claim on biggest loser in /brit/ here's my cv:

32 years old and posting on 4chan
don't have a real job I work for my parents
have never been on a date nor slept with a girl
5'5
skinny fat with no muscle what so ever
incredibly ugly
no friends basicly only leave the house to see family or buy food
have many times messaged random acquaintances asking if they want to do anything and always get ghosted

the 30 year old that still goes clubbing every saturday is very easy to enrage

expressing soft pedantry

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what did they mean by this?

>>79279064
this only works if you're good looking, where it doesn't matter what you do/say anyway

>>79279068
I do enjoy randomly insulting someone, then them thinking I was the one engaging in the conversation previously and watching them lose their shit

>>79279107
so am I if you say something mean to me

>>79279116
don't care

>>79279104
yeah you probably do you fucking nerd, nothing to be proud of lol

>>79279104
yeah that's pretty tragic tbf

>>79277992
had a MMM threesome last year

Reckon I've shagged the most birds on /brit/
when I was in ayia napia I shagged 12 birds in one week as a dare, I fingered one on the dancefloor and got a blowjob while she was under the counter as I was ordering a drink.
Chad as fuck

>>79279104
most of that you could change if you weren't lazy cunt

>>79279145
you gay?

>>79279145
gay sexual achievements dont count desu they are too easy, just like paying for it doesmn't count

>>79279116
are they rorke or rasheed?

>>79279125
>gets BTFO and has to resort to insults
>i-it w-wasn't m-me before it was s-someone else

cringe!

Match threads on /spee/ are utterly unbearable, so I'm going to talk about the footy here.

Anyone watching Poop v Flopp?

>>79277992
shagged my ex on her mums bed while she was on her period. also shagged her while her brother was upstairs in the loft conversion with the ladders in her room

>>79279125
Can tell when you do this, that paddy was having a meltdown wasn't he

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>when I was in ayia napia I shagged 12 birds in one week as a dare

Yo knw f ou remved oe ltter fom evry wrd yu cn stll nderstand th sentnce

>>79279154
skinny fat is littterally the only thing that is down to my lazines as opposed to genetic failure

>>79279183
haven't watched a single game or highlight since the season started

feel left out, might just wait for next season

robert whittaker has a torn labrum lads

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>when I was in ayia napia I shagged 12 birds in one week as a dare, I fingered one on the dancefloor and got a blowjob while she was under the counter as I was ordering a drink.

>>79279189
ujellybro? I also shagged a 40 year old cougar with DDD tits, she was a pole dancer

>>79279202
same
used to love football but i couldn't give a bollocks anymore
dunno why

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>when I was in ayia napia I shagged 12 birds in one week as a dare, I fingered one on the dancefloor and got a blowjob while she was under the counter as I was ordering a drink.

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>!

One of the lads always shags grannies on nights out, when he does it he's like "fucks sake I've done it again lads" what is he like man

>>79279197
>still posts on 4han
>doesnt have a job
>no friends
>never leaves the house

>genetic
dknt think so bud

>>79279190
sorry don't speak welsh

>>79279167
unclear at this point
seems like they were mugging everyone off

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>ujellybro? I also shagged a 40 year old cougar with DDD tits, she was a pole dancer

based jay posters

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>I also shagged a 40 year old cougar with DDD tits, she was a pole dancer

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvrGP3jNMTU
he could've become our PM

>>79279204
did the man kick the ball?

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Which gimmicks would you like to see retired?

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the so called car

neapolitan pizza = best pizza

>>79279234
>>79279212
>>79279248
>>79279266
jealous as fuck lads, most proudest achievement was an all female gangbang in my parents house at a house party that was mental I done 6gs of coke of their tits that night

On holiday in Spain one year, me and my mate took a pedalo out and went to Africa.

>>79279277
/brit/

>>79277902
bitbean

>>79279285
is that where you have vanilla, strawberry and chocolate pizza in one tub?

>>79279277
hatposting and the brainlet wojak are so over used

>>79279281
e36?

good la

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>most proudest achievement was an all female gangbang in my parents house at a house party that was mental I done 6gs of coke of their tits that night

>>79279293
pedalophile cunt

>>79279301
bizarre post

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>most proudest

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>an all female gangbang in my parents house at a house party that was mental I done 6gs of coke of their tits that night

/brit/ is my drug, but I can only withstand it for 15 minutes.

Do a chuckle hearing what some of you lads say

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>>79279273

>>79279293
we did this except instead of africa we just went to another part of the beach

>>79279239
on 4chan isn't genetic but symptom of having nothing to do, I told you I work for my family. I have no friends because people hate me and abuse me for being ugly i'm not going to put up with people tormenting me by making ugly jokes about m eall the tmie would rather be alone

good load of jayposting going on lads

>liverpoop

>>79279312
>>79279327
you're just mad every woman in the vicinity gets wet just by smelling me lad, everytime I go to subway the girl at the counter asks me if I'm doing anything

>>79279322
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neapolitan_ice_cream

>>79279277
part and parcel one
its not even true, its just taken out of context
all kahn said was that PREPARING FOR/working to prevent terrorist attacks were part and parcel of modern city life, which is fucking true

the arrogant ignorance of all the JFs and /pol/ weenies who spam it infuriate me.
fuck that stupid meme, i hope it dies

I get high from sniffing bin bags

>>79279281
it's not yours at all

need friends

>>79279303
brainlet wojak is only just getting started, I wish hatposting would go back to it's original use though, way too many newrunts misusing a perfectly good gimmick

>>79279369
hii c:

>>79279355
alright but i was talking about the pizza mate

>>79279351
>everytime I go to subway the girl at the counter asks me if I'm doing anything

she's asking what bread you want you bin liner

jayposter is the oven pizza deano mong bradleyposter ringleader

might eat an Angel Cake
thoughts?

>>79279337
you're the twat invited to the party but only if you brought loads of booze aren't you. you type like you have a learning disability.

spotted one of those london pakis, lads>>79279357

Heading out to Uni in less than 15 minutes

Imagine being jealous that I've shagged 100 maybe 150 girls

>>79279387
whoa should I add learning diability to the cv

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>bradleyposter

>>79279011
I've done it before

gonna get out of bed and makes myself some bacon butties and a cuppa

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>bradleyposter

NB note the lack of pluralisation

I remember when my grandma was addicted to valium and when she was dying of parkinson's they took her off it and made her die cold turkey

>330 posts
>no new thread
wtf

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>bradleyposter sans s

>his bed sheets aren't from The White Company

Let's rate gimmick users by IQ, I'll start

>Radcen : 250

>>79279455
look how blissful life is without communism

>>79279394
reminder if you don't make enough friends within 2-3 days you've basically fucked your life up and will fail/drop out in 2nd year

>>79279436
pretty grim

benzo WD is awful

is grandma a yankism

>>79279357
hello sadiq

>>79279167
>song about prostitution
>anti american consumerism song (also anti british imperialism)
>song uses quote about how all men are "of walking abortion" in a aggressively sarcastic way
>pro death-sentence song
>song from the point of view of someone with anorexia
>song about suicide
.song about the holocaust (contains lyrics like "6 Million screaming souls / Maybe misery - maybe nothing at all / Never counted - never mattered - never be" and "Drink it away, every tear is false / Churchill no different / Wished the workers bled to a machine"
>song against how PC everything has become

unclear

>>79279479
Have two older brothers still in University and they were fine, silly cunt

>>79279526
>>79279526
>>79279526
NEW

>>79279526
>>79279526
NEW

>>79279531
>>79279531
>>79279531