/brit/

love girlses faces they are so cute

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ever think about how weird most animals looks?
I mean they only don't look like little aliens because we're used to them.

>>79239819
hot take

BARACK OBAMA WAS A GREAT PRESIDENT

want an italian gf

French girl mutilated by rats in night attack at home http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-41198770

Ah yes, another lonely friday night spent online.
Wish I had a girlfriend to share nice times with lads. Will never have it in my life. :(

How do I format an email to a business asking if there is any work available lads? I'm thinking of starting with 'To whom it may concern' but that sounds quite poncey. This is a PC repair shop.

In the past, I have made no secret of my disdain for Chef Gusteau's famous motto: Anyone can cook. But I realize, only now do I truly understand what he meant. Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere. It is difficult to imagine more humble origins than those of the genius now cooking at Gusteau's, who is, in this critic's opinion, nothing less than the finest chef in France. I will be returning to Gusteau's soon, hungry for more.

>>79239999
Benders out now.

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>AH YEAH ANOTHA LOWNELY FROIDAY NOIGHT SPENT ONLOINE
>WEESH OI HED A GOILFREND TA SHEYA NOICE TOIMES WITH LEDS. WILL NEVA HAVE IT IN MOI LOIFE

think that friendless bender gets tired of getting no replies to his boring blogposts? starting to realise why he has no friends irl. annoying, persistent, boring, bent and lacking any self-awareness. not the best combo obviously.

>>79239979
>Will never have it in my life
And why is that

>>79240018
you know what to do

weak little men

oh give me a home
where theres no fecking yanks

Can't believe people actually watch shite like strictly come dancing

>>79240069
Because low self confidence & I look ugly.
>>79240084
Yeah, go to a hooker.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21gVx5-uJOI

>>79240061
>wow another photo of his tasteless and cringey fashion sense. amazing!
>wow another photo of his shoes. amazing!
>wow another photo of a generic london alley way and/or building. amazing!
>wow another photo of his prepubescent pube beard, awful haircut and boneless cheeks. amazing!
Starting to notice a link between being a bit of a boring pleb and seeking validation on 4chan.

>>79239991
Find out who runs the shop/ hr department fella. If its addressed to a person they will read it. If its addressed to whom it may concern then the whom is always someone else

>>79240165
wow robot wars man and scrapheap challenge man sugoi~

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>Young offenders from ethnic minorities will become "the next generation" of criminals unless the justice system is reformed, says MP David Lammy.

They already are the fucking next generation of criminals, you fucking ape.

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shantytown of england, brit

>>79240196
ah yes, the Northern Powerhouse

im a celt

post it
you know the one

>>79240196
looks like they're about to be redeveloped

*sees bucks and starts frantically squealing in terror, clawing at the walls and splattering them with piss and shit*

Hi, I'm Oscar - you might think you know me, but you have no idea! Welcome to my crib - the good life, the way the other half lives! Check it out, I got my 60-inch high-def plasma TV with six-speaker surround, CD, DVD, Playstation and an eight-track for one of those days when you're feeling just a little weeka-weeka-weeka OLD SCHOOL, ha ha ha! Coz even a superstar Mac-daddy fish like me has to have the basic necessities!

>>79240196
quiet down or we'll fly over a giant flask of boiling water and use it to melt your igloo you mongolian vampire

>>79240192
Got a radical idea here so bear with me:

dont
commit
crime

a lot to take in but desperate times call for desperate measures.

>>79240165
hope theyre going to the pub

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>>79240254

Lads how do you identify magic mushrooms??

>>79240173
cant say ive ever seen any these recently desu, aside from those god awful work boots earlier

>>79240258
shark tale was kino

>>79240301
he posts them every day

>>79240294
eat a big handful of them, you will find out soon enough

>>79240285
been doing this for ages and it totally works

>>79240306
kc tyre

>>79240294
you've never gone mushroom picking?
just print out some pics from online and a list of characteristics to guess

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>>79240192
>you fucking ape.
heheh, it's funny cos it's true

>>79240294
just eat every mushroom you find until you get high

what should I do tonight?

>>79240354
just eat every mushroom you find until you get high

>>79240338
No because they all look similar

Oscar: Don't... swallow!

Lenny: Oscar?

Oscar: No, it's Pinocchio - of course it's me! Why did you do that?

Lenny: Oh, I'm sorry...

Oscar: No, "sorry" is when you step on somebody's fin at the theatre! Yeah, that's "sorry"! "Sorry" is when you ask somebody "Hey, when's the baby due?" and it turns out the person's just fat! No, this is as far away from "sorry" as you can possibly get!

Lenny: Oscar, I think I'm gonna puke...

Oscar: Oh, no no no no... Lenny, just open up, nice and slow!

Back from t'gym lads, whipping up a massive katsu curry for lunch then gotta head to Shoreditch (smdh)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dIQZWMibSc

this song makes me want to drop kick me nan down the stairs

business idea: bury booze and drugs on festival sites before the festival begins

>>79240306
>unable to form a coherent reply
>posting homosexual porn

ahh the finn

>>79240388
explain curry

>>79240400
you stole that from a social media post

>>79240294
Liberty caps are like little brown umbrellas nipple on top.

Psylocybin is ironically one of the harder mushrooms to mistake for something nasty

>>79240320
ah fair enough haha, ive never seen anyone aside from phimo and poley post their face / hair recently

>>79240409
is ask jeeves broken?

>>79240391
thats the worst 'music' i have ever heard

>>79240285
Yeah, but they should be allowed to commit crime and then be treated under special circumstances otherwise it's racist.

Currently veggie, trying to go vegan but it's fucking hard. Believe it or not I'm not a lefty poofter I just love animals.

I'm starving and I have a date with this girl this weekend, not looking for anything serious, I reckon there's a 50/50 chance of smashing but hopefully it'll be a one night thing, I just hope I don't feel drained because of my diet

>>79240444
phimo has never posted his face

>>79240382
not really
they look pretty unique and spindly

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>non-whites are ug-

>>79240294
If you get some microwave them asap.
kills the tiny flies eggs so you don't get maggots in a brew

>>79240457
so you're just a poofter then

>>79240479
so do the people who take them

>>79240488
ly

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>>79240409
Japanese style curry....is peng

>>79240533
looks like the shit i took last night

>>79240548
see a doctor

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tfw my house is bigger than half of england

>>79240488
No guts, no glory

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bought a can of this. 1 sip in and im already regretting it.

turns out black people make shit drinks.

>>79240565
But you have to live in Australia lmao

>>79240553
fake niga

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LOOK OUT FLORIDA

>>79240572
chuck it.

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meet the father and daughter who used to be mother and son

>>79240566
no gods no masters

>>79240196
>wanting to live in cramped packed together houses like sardines
Never got this

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TRIGGERED

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>>79240594
2nd highest hdi in the world baby
can you say the same

>>79240449
can i rape your nan lad?

who else ahs no friends and so isn't going out tonight altho i just spammed watsapp begging in every gorup for someone to have a drink wtih me so i'm not drinking alone every friday of this year haha im so lame haha so uncool no friends and 28 years old haha maybe already drinking shh

>>79240684
whats HDI based on?

been waiting for the amazon man all day
now Im going to go in the shower and I just KNOW he will come whilst im in

>>79240742
HELLO YOU CUNT

>>79240684
>living beside a tectonic rift
>venomous prehistoric creatures
>no proper Christmas

>>79240684
that's nice....it's also a physical and cultural desert ;^)

just a few more hours of toil before my 2 days of freedom

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>>79240742
Wrong, this is a picture of harvey

>>79240632
they both look like women now . would fuck

Her: Come over
Me: I can't, I'm freeing all of Ireland from the yoke of British oppression
Her: My parents aren't home
Me: >>79240670

>>79240731
Do you really not know or are you being an edge?

Would actually love to be a mermaid

>>79240853
well i know some of it is based on meaningless bullshit which skews the data such as school leaving age but i dont know everything.

>>79240875
how would you masturbate

been on the toil since 8, just under 4 hours to go and then i can spend the next 2 days catching up with things i didnt manage to do during the previous 5

ah yes

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>mention that australia has a higher standard of living than britain
>get a flood of british replies defending their poor living standards
how does one free a slave who wishes to keep his chains :^)

>>79240731
half useful barometers and half useless wanky cruft

despite all the negative press covfefe

having a vodka and cola at 3:24 pm. Is this a 'cheeky' drink?

never could recover anything from my broken hard drive
. lost a lot of files but i'm coping well . feel like i'm growing up. most of that stuff was edgy pics and docs from my teen and and young adult life

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hrm yes quite

>>79240995
Yeah how about that

*walks away and talks to someone more interesting*

>>79240921
Good post

haha got that Friday feeling lads xxx just got a text from smithster gonna meet the lads down the pub and have a few bevvies, got an acca on so will be watching MOTD haha xx gonna take the missus out for a cheeky nandos after I finish my shift as assistant manager at JD sports, then might get a chinky later and get comfy on the couch with her and watch love island(which I recorded on my Sky HD box)

>>79241053
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDwQJ64UpFQ

>>79240994
fuckkk offf lad ive been on the voddie since 10 am m8

fucking love bromans reckon i might try for the next series ahaaaa

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>downgraded to a category four
not happy
am*rica won't might not get absolutely heemed after all

reading something by a Syrian on /r9k/

>M brother died; my sister, mom, grandmother, grandfather, and uncle are in Greece, I fear that either some NATE-backed fucktards are Jihadi rapist will march into my city any day, the heat is absolute shit, and I am hated by mst people because a few people from countries close to mine like raping and blowing things up.
>cant you go to your parents wtf annon?
>I live with my dad. We didn't want to leave because we heard that Europeans will force us to live in shithole ghettos and probably attack us if an incident happens. The reason we let the women and old men leave is just because we rather not risk them getting hurt here. Last I heard my uncle plays music on the streets for money. I hope they're all doing well.

>>79241063
assistant manager at JD sports is probably better work than 99.99% of /brit/ posters have

>>79241001
I would pwnr at this drinking game, even if it was all Californian dreck

>>79241063
guilty of doing all of this lol xx

>>79241001
An old gf used to ask me to get her a Colombard.
fuck knows what that is

>>79241108
yeah bullshit

I dream of the day global warming gets bad enough so that a hurricane whips back around out of the Caribbean, strengthens back up into a category 5 and absolutely domes the fuck out of the UK

sod the poncey cheese, just give me a bottle of casa del diablo, a pack of marlboro reds and im sorted

>>79241196
cheese is good though

>>79241181
you'd be dust in the wind before that ever happens mate

>>79241196
hat

>>79241150
well obviously you do know

>>79241196
>choosing darbs over a nice Wensleydale

An old gf used to ask me to get her a €60 worth of cheese.

>the yank on meltdown mode after he's getting BTFO'd from the 2/3 hurricanes coming into his country

>>79241230
rip peter sallis
a real human cheese

>>79241181
Global warming is just an urban legend. It got widely spread after it was written in one of those fact books

>>79241246
And you told her no need, because it's all under your foreskin

>>79241251
I've sat through category 5s in a comfy blanket sweaty xx

>make a thread to make fun of the finnish
>they all fell into the "pitfall" so to speak

why are the finns so stupid?

>>79241251
well considering they have only hit texas and florida there must be a good chance he is a filthy spic

>>79241228
relative to cheese?
ehh?

just tried my new ball stretcher on, fits a treat

>>79241281
Maybe you should take the blanket off if you're getting sweaty you dumb yank

>>79241271
nah i sold all of that cheese to the walkers factory

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its so hot out STILL
fuck off with this shit
its been like 35c average all week

>>79241281
hope you'll enjoy sitting through a hurricane every week thanks to south east asia and their love for coal

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*tucks in*

>>79241289
They are all severely autistic

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anime

>>79241336
Why do they look so sad

That's a grand 'za

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the gf

>just completed hard mission
>game stuck on next loading screen

hmmm

>>79241336
4u

>>79241336
Love American OAPs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEEx3oUuiII

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>now = 31*
>feels like = 37*

irish politicians are doing a better job of wiping out irish people and culture the english ever did

>>79241336
[ulilillia voice] and now, the degreasing

>>79241377
Actually had a gf that looked just like this

Cheating whore

>>79241403
if only

>>79241377
will experience this soon but with my English fiance

>>79240196
Hahha

That's Alfreton Road in Nottingham, I live near there.

Bejing Chef is a pretty good chinese place

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the bf

>>79241336
what are the white things?

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>murrilards are going to get their murriboxes BTFO'd then build them in the exact same spot again

>>79241425
must be grim getting cheated on by an asian girl lmao

>>79241451
little tables to keep your pizza on

>>79241451
Tables to put your utensils on

>>79241336
lad looks lost.
poor sod doesn't even know where to start

>>79241246
describe her farts

>>79241451
they're people you racist bastard

>>79241457
Asian American so culturally white for all intents and purposes

>>79241499
wahey

>>79241451
i think its to stop the pizza sticking to the lid

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>>79241377

>>79241469
>>79241472
>>79241499
behave he's a guest in our thread

>>79241543
fuck him and fuck you

hard to believe it's almost the end of another week and another week closer to christmas and another week closer to 30 and another week clsoer to the end of my life

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lads
weekly toil is finally over
its beer time

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>>79241377

>>79241469
>>79241472
good posts
>>79241499
even better post

lads do you bring a school bag to lectures of a piece of paper or what im freaking out here

>>79241513
*intensive purposes

fuck me and i'll fuck you

>>79241592
briefcase

>>79241578
good job kim, have some kimchi, then take shelter in the bunker in case NK nukes

>>79241592
satchel you turnip

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>>79241578
>>79241580

>>79241580
How'd they stack those gooks that high lmao

Workin 6-midnight today lads

yanks go to Mexico to buy Cola because its actually made with sugar and not HFCS hahahahahaha

>>79241578
are you the same korean from /eire/

>>79241653
what a way to make a living

straight fire

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SFbuQtvp6os

Drank a coffee and now feel really tired

Strange

>>79241653
jealous desu

quite like the idea of getting out of work around midnight to 5am. dont think id want it everyday but would like to try it

>>79241661
well no
havent been there recently

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Is Naked Attraction on tonight?

Feels like the frank grimes episode of the simpsons when my dad goes on about how successful he is

Retard can barely write a readable sentence but has a decent council job because he's a boomer and bought a house for £21k and sold it for £210,000

He's a fraud, a fucking fraud, would HEEM him if he wasn't my dad

I am 5'8 and my friends laugh at me because I am so short

>>79241733
norway what are you doing with your life man?

if I went to a shop and bought just a stanley knife would I be looked at weirdly?

>>79241656
>drinking soda
Looks like you fell for the caloric jew

>>79241790
not if you've got your knife licence on you

>>79241790
The fucking STATE of Britain when you have to ask this question HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>>79241790
depends on the shop, homebase/b&q and that would be fine

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you arrive in plymouth

>>79241733
its been over for a month hasn't it only like 6 episodes per series

>>79241819
>>79241826
what items would look good if I bought a stanley knife?

so it looks like I'm actually doing something with it.

>>79241790
Their called 'box cutters' in America which is funny considering Stanley was/is an American brand.

>>79241839
Britain would improve dramatically if smoking/drinking was banned

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZExOicH-2_Q me on pointless haha

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>Britain would improve dramatically if smoking/drinking was banned

>>79241878
>stanley knife

when I got some of those blade things for University I just saved time and ordered them online, you need to chill bro. People buy them every day, unless you look like you're 14 they wont sell you them or ask for ID

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>be Dark Overlord of Middle-Earth with flying magical servants
>have your minions steal black horses from humans because you dig the goth look
‘Some years ago the Lord of the Black Land wished to purchase horses of us at great price, but we refused him. for he puts beasts to evil use. Then he sent plundering Orcs, and they carry off what they can, choosing always the black horses: few of these are now left. For that reason our feud with the Orcs is bitter.

>>79241888
definitely
t. big drinker

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You arrive in Plymouth

>>79241888
>dude just ban it
fuck off Theresa

>>79241878
tape measure
metal ruler
pair of testicles

note: in ascending order of how much you need them

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>>79241878

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has britain improved after brexit

why do the elites want white genocide

>>79241790
reported to GCHQ for even thinking about wanting to buy an offensive weapon

LET THA LAAARD OF THA BLACK LAND CAM FARTH

>>79241920
sauron was always the patrician vilain

thinking of dropping a hip hop tape for all my boys
t. upper middle class white boi

going to a brazilian shop to buy brazilian soda then I'm off to the posh offie to buy some posh cola

OI

BIN THAT BLOODY KNOIFE GUVNA

WOULDNT WANT TO HAVE TO CLAP YOU IN IRONS

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>>79241959

>>79241976
err who is morgoth you fucking PLEB

>>79241920
The nazgul horses originally belonged to them stupid they were human kings and those were their horses

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are lads

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... Me Timothy James Byrne arriving at Stoke-on-Trent ... 08 September 2017

Can someone tell me why JRM's views on abortion are "extreme"?

>Arriving today, Out for delivery

And now we wait

THE HALF LING WAS DEAR TO THEE I SEE

>>79242048
howling

>>79242048
isnt he always saying he lives on the moon

business idea : 1 GBP = 1 EUR = 1 USD

>>79242087
gook

how much Eid money did you get lads

>>79242087
Better idea: 1 currency

>>79242031
deano villain
destruction instead of domination

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how does tim think moving to the USA would help him? care for the mentally ill over there is even worse than here

>>79242087
and the south korean wong = 0.000000000000001

>>79242109
Better idea: 1 love

Anyone wanna see a magic trick?

>>79242172
I can make my dick disappear inside of you

>>79242031
>be Morgoth
>pour out most of your power into Arda and creating evil creatures but eventually lose control of them so your actual power has severely decreased by the time you get cast out into the void
>be Sauron
>pour out most of your power into an artifact you eventually lose and disperse your spirit once that gets destroyed
Is this similarity intentional? Did Tolkien want to make a point about the nature of evil or something?

>costs us billions in aid after natural disasters
>steals our tax revenue
>populations too small to offer any economic advantage
>independent when they want to be
>can't even pretend they're part of our country like france and french guiana

ah yes thank god we held onto those island """nations""

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poof

Quads innit?

>>79242042
floodgates: open

>>79242212
Yeah you sure are

need a rich small town american husband
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azkBLtWeMcA

the gypsy son of a bitch burned us

i dont understand
underestimated value of currency boosts economy since its like a cheat to beat other cunts company in an export competition
just look at what china does

>>79242212
The virgin magician
>>79242222
The chad wizard

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>>79242172
>>79242222

>>79242207
but at least the troops have somewhere to moor so they can shag the natives

>>79242251
China does NOT manipulate it's currency

I demand at least a tiny smattering of applause

>>79242207
the only thing they're good for are tax havens

gchq if you're reading this then it's just a joke haha

>>79242276
t. Xi Jinping

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*enters thread*

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what do you think of Australia's new flag lads?

>>79242200
Evil doesn't know how to manage resources effectively
Good has better accounting and tax policies

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>>79242222
impressive

>>79242292
wasn't ready for gods sake Trev

>>79242056
They aren't. I don't particularly agree with him on his stance, but the left are so desperate to isolate and discredit anyone they disagree with they try to push any views they oppose to the extreme end of the political spectrum because they feel by doing so it'll be attacked by the MSM and the individual treated as a pariah.

>>79242294
flags should only have straight lines

bums or fannies?

>>79242292
Favorite webm

>>79242335
both

https://imgur.com/r/rearpussy/

>>79242325
t. foetus

If the government takes 50% of my stuff, why do they arrest me for putting a lock on my door?

>>79242373
they do neither of these things

>MSM

*picture of fat man in hat*

>>79242363
Kissmateef

>>79242360
DIRE shit in this album

*crushes your frail body with a mighty bear hug*
my body
my rules

>>79242404
it's the best perspective though

bums or willies?

What should I do lads, don't want a beard, but literally unable to shave without becoming an ingrown hair mess(tried everything)

really just giving up at this point

>>79242430
willies IN bums

>>79242430
billies
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrBj3u5dPgM

>>79242430
both

https://imgur.com/r/Rearcock/

>>79242452
stop shaving against the grain and you won't have ingrown hairs

how do you not know this lol

>>79242460
pmsl

>>79242452
close trim

File: image.jpg (13KB, 268x188px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 268x188px

Rather like Canadian folk music tbhwyfyg (to be honest with you fine young gentlemen)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TVY8LoM47xI

>>79242470
>>79242470
>>79242470

>>79242490
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvcEP0EjqIc

>>79242464
reeee stop baiting

>>79242485
with what?

>>79242518
Electric trimmer

>>79242490
More like it on /brit/

>>7924247
>>7924247
>>7924247
>>7924247

we're all in here

when will rasheed learn?

>>79244983
>>79244983
>>79244983

new thread lads
new