/brit/

First for coffee should be mentioned in books a lot less.

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>>79197466
How often do /brit/ons eat good, authentic mexican food?

>>79197489
americans dont have any culture

>be me
>wear cloak
>still be me
>but in cloak
>leave house
>in cloak
>still be me
>outside and in cloak

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>britbong

captcha: CRAVEN only

>>79197489
Extremely rarely. Most foreign food places are Indian and other similar countries, then Italian, French, Chinese... I can't even think of any Mexican places around me and I've lived here 34 years.

>>79197496
they certainly do.

>>79197499
Uplifting post. Love it.
>>79197496
Sweden.

>think of ways to motivate myself
>come up with a real schitzo solution
>imagine myself as an older dishevelled man in my 40s
>he follows me around shouting and bawling at me to not make the mistakes he made
>look myself in the face on a daily basis

Don't think it's working

>prince george will be known as george cambridge at school

Why not Windsor?

Doing some properly rancid farts. Smells like an animal has died in my lower colon

>>79197532
When are you going to fuck off back home?

>>79197559
Same reason Harry is Captain Wales

They use their parent's territorial designation, or lacking one they use Mountbatten-Windsor as a surname

What is the meaning of life?

>>79197572
I had kebab and chips and a garlic pizza last night. It's like my ass is crying poisoned water at the moment.

>>79197604
To know that you know nothing

>>79197618
why are you doing this to yourself

>>79197604
To have a relationship with God through faith in Jesus the Christ.

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>>79197466
Speak of the Devil... and he shall appear.

>>79197604
To cum in as many girls under 16 as possible.

>>79197645
call the king a bender you bent ponce twat faggot

>>79197644
fuck that. that tyrant can do one.

Is it possible to fly without leaving the ground?

>>79197645

*watches you shrink*

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>go to my usual pirating haunt
>see this

here we are lads, in the year 2017

>open umbrella
>rain stops
>close umbrella
>rain still stopped
>open umbrella
>suddenly soaking wet

>>79197704
that just isn't cricket

hate this shit argh

>All that is necessary for the triumph of Islam is that white men do nothing

>>79197704
*boots up VPN*

heh, nuttin personnel government

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75OPwArY43I

Is his computer just fucked or something?

*gives you a cookie*
*kicks you in the shin*
*takes cookie back*
life innit

>>79197704
the ABSOLUTE STATE of non-Americans

THAAAAAAILAAAAAAAAAAAAD

>>79197759
Is he autistic or something?

who /welliesonpenis/ here?

>>79197783
FUCK OFF NEWRUNT

>>79197783
yes

>>79197799
Yeah I'm new but I've made a lot of very popular posts so far and I think you're just jealous.

https://youtu.be/6dNySBexXyU
Husband just filed for divorce lads

snivelling cowardly non-people in /brit/ won't let me post in peace

>>79197813
you may be brand new but you're already better than every australian poster here

How do we get the age of consent lowered in the UK lads?

*doesn't give you a cookie at all*
*circumstances require you to take out a cookie loan*
*steals your other cookies once you declare cookie bankruptcy and are forced to join the associated homeless unemployed cookie people comprising a somewhat significant portion of cookieland*

wahey

>>79197831
fanny

>>79197839
Why would you want to do that lad?

>>79197838
*squeaks out a shit directly onto your eyeball*
Let that be a lesson t'ya

>>79197852
The only way to stop people having sex with underage girls is to make everyone overage.

Whats good to order in Burger King? Never been

>>79197839
its already 16 i think that's probably about right

>>79197874
foy

>>79197874
bacon double cheeseburger meal

>>79197874
Ask for every wog in the building to be put into the oven.

>>79197843
gonna use metaphors like this with my child to explain to him how shitty being an adult is

>here's 3 cookies son
>oh I forgot about the cookie tax, now that's 2 cookies
>but what about he cookie bills? Oh that's a shame now you only have 1 cookie
>but what about your family, they need cookies too, oh looks like you'll have to share, that's 1/5 of a cookie

if the irish are so lucky why did several million of them die in the potato famine? strange turn of events if you ask me

so children can consent to pumping their bodies full of strong chemicals to halt puberty and start changing it in ways it was never meant to because they understand all the consequences

but they cant consent to sex

not a paedo, just struggling to understand why one is ok and one isn't.

going to be in three different countries today

>>79197929
gay nonce

>>79197929
want you locked up mate

>>79197919
Because death was a sweet release from the curse of being Irish, so that's quite some luck really.

cannot stand /brit/ during australian power hour

will be taking my business elsewhere x

>>79197929
One is their parents loving them enough to accept the uncomfortable truth that they were born in a body that doesn't match their gender

The other is someone raping a kid

Gee, why are they different?

need a big aussie lad to do australian power hour on my pink bumhole x

>tfw unironically accidently clicked a CP webm posted on /tv/ now live in fear that GHCQ are gonna burst through my door at any minute

If whales are fish and bats aren't birds why is it so strange to say that pakis aren't people?

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>>79197986
>whales are fish
IDIOT!!!!

SOMEBODY

>>79197985
Where is it? I want to report it posthaste.

>>79197929
i don't think anyone but insane leftists are arguing the first is ok

>>79197985
did the same the other day fml

never understood why scientists are so obsessed with categorising everything, drives me balmy

if they're primates then they can't be mammals, simple as, so forth

any crustacean man in

>>79198048
*snibs*

https://twitter.com/AntiguaNewsRoom/status/905560534740852736

Went to hungry jacks the other day

A BBQ cheeseburger was $2, while a regular was $2.35! Didn't make any sense.

>>79197874
whopper's their tastiest burger

>>79197985
>accidently

sure

http://www.90min.com/posts/5427434-paul-gascoigne-reveals-why-he-used-to-touch-les-ferdinand-s-penis-before-every-game

hmmm

Been doing farts at this table and pretending they're not mine.

>>79198032
it drives you to a mild temperate climate?

>>79198032
It's barmy, you barmy cunt

oi barmy aussie lad
say something barmy

drives me absolutely Barnie

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/sep/07/britain-no-longer-civilised-un-disability-report
Holy shit. We're becoming 2nd world. Well done rorkes.

>>79198150
>>79198189
using the american spelling, I'm on the right side of history and you're not

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DbodJHYR-1s
>tfw no comfy american hubby

>>79198211
business idea: don't be disabled then

>>79198213
Those are two young men trying to get tax benefits, no way they're gay.

why do gays have that look in their eyes

no need for a barney pet

Going to London with the lads in October. Planning the trip now. Goin to see a west end show, then a gig at night, possibly ministry of sound, then home the next day.

Hope I don't get Jihadi'd. I did try to suggest Bristol instead but they are dead set on London. I almost opted out since I fucking loathe the place but I havent seen them in a while. Going to have to try to keep a lid on my anti Islam banter when I'm pissed. Going to be tough

>>79198270
constant barely-concealed lust for deranged noncery

metrotunnel.vic.gov.au/stations/suggest-a-station-name

doing a name

Are you erect atm?

>>79198347
cornetto

>>79198298
>trip with the lads
>going to see a west end show

either tarquin or bender, possibly both

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POO POO PEE PEE

Got a driving lesson lads. Absolutely hate it.

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>>79198211

Even when you leftists appear to triumph... still we rise again.
And do you know why? It's because the rorke is born of a realisation. We require no slogan, no brainwashing by desperate, corrupt media and entertainment.
All we need is that the world be as it is. And this is why the rorke will never be destroyed.

>>79198372
old news

>>79198377
It's so much easier once you are allowed to drive alone, still stressful but you don't need to be perfect

>http://www.bbc.co.uk/ws/languages

why the FUCK is rorke sperging out about pidgin English? Honestly can't stand spending my time with these IQ 80 mouth breathers

>>79198435
then leave

>>79197489
I'm basically eating a burrito as I read this.

Fried onion and corned beef in a saucepan, added baked beans and cheddar cheese (and hot sauce), and wrapped it in a bunch of tortillas.

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very comfy show to watch while high x

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SCOUSERS UTTERLY BTFO
the smear campaign is finally over

>>79198442
No, rorke has his containment board, intelligent radcens like me have free reign

>>79198447
authentic mexican fare there lad good job

>>79198479
gracias haha

*upskirts your oneitis*

>>79198298
imagine being so poorthern that a trip to london is a big event.

>>79198499
Travel to any danger zone requires careful planning.

*snaps your neck*

I must say, New Zealand is behaving particularly badly this morning.

*spits in your popcorn chicken*

there's no cure for being a cunt

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IPY_ycPL8v0

sitting in a room lads

*discriminates you based on your race*

lying on the bathroom floor lads

*cures being a cunt*

>>79198583
why though?

Sitting on a lounge lads

>>79198583
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjCCJp9BqpE

bet you nerds don't even read the manga

>>79198583
Partisan choice.

On cold tiles in a steamy hot bathroom is the shit

eating a bap

>>79198592
smoking a cheeky
got a blanket and pillow x

>>79198583
Can't be lying on rock bottom if you're upstairs

eating a brap

eating a barmcake

pirates

>>79198621
there's no cure for being a cunt sorry

Eating a glass of wine

what are some lewd things you've done lads? share them here

>>79198648
had a wank

ah yes that's right just ignore my messages hmmm yes very good

>>79198648
sucked a friend's willy

>Irma wreaking havoc

reminds me of that old episode of the turtles where Irma became a giant and was clumsily knocking over buildings and shit haha

>>79198656
I love all your messages :]

>>79198648
had the best sex with my 16yo bf when i was 17
held hands in the cinema

>>79198648
often have a quick fap in the morning and rarely bother washing my hands afterwards, just wipe it off on a sock or something

thus I've proliferated my sperm onto the skin of potentially thousands of people

>>79198648
Masturbated my ads with the handle of a big spoon.
Cleaned it and put it back in the kitchen for my roommates to use.

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each poster in this thread has an average of 10 posts

>>79198648
Fucked a woman

>>79198678
sperm doesn't proliferate and wouldn't survive long anyway

>>79198367
we're watching the book of mormon though.
>>79198499
i'm from the westcountry. and i said i didn't want to go. hate London. also this >>79198518

quite simply could care less

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had a warm naked cuddle with the gf when I woke up earlier

girls are so soft and nice to squeeze lads

already had 9 cans of pepsi max today

think i have a problem lads

>>79198724
shouldn't care so much to begin with

I've got one for the Yanks:

A man walks into a bar with a dog, and tells the barman his dog can not only talk, but understand and answer any question he asks it. The barman doesn't believe him. So the man asks the dog: "Alright, Bingo, what do you call the top of a house?" Dog says: "roof!" Man says: "describe the texture of sandpaper Bingo," and the dog says "ruff!" The barman is getting annoyed and tell the man to leave and take his dog with him. Man says: "hang on, one more. Bingo, who's the greatest baseball player in history?" The dog says "Roof!" The barman has the bouncer throw them both out on the street. As they walk away, the dog says: "I should have said DiMaggio."

>>79198674
you gay?

YOU ARE MUM

>>79198732
shagged a russian bird recently and her skin was all sort of rough and slightly spiky all over. was very strange.

>>79198732
FONT

>>79198747
no yanks here mate

>>79198648
sniffed my gf's sister's knickers

so I've basically smelled both of their fannies

>>79198685
um no?

need a soft cuddly boy to wake up beside

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>>79198732
Kill your self and then your girlfriend

>>79198774
'ce

>>79198755
it was a bloke mate

>>79198765
>tfw ex gf lived with 4 other girls at uni
>managed to get to sniff all of their knickers at least once

fact: girls are more flirty with you when you've got a gf

Daily reminder that absolute rule is a Norman import and the downtrodden British serf is slavishly loyal to the monarchy out of a developed Stockholm syndrome. Modern republicanism is truer to the British character than monarchism.

firefox keeps acting up

>>79198747
had a chuckle

arse is hankering for a willy rn

there's no cure for being american

>pick out two clearly priced things in shop
>have £2 ready in change, exact price
>cashier gives a much lower price at the till
>looks at me like a retard as I hand her all the change

hummmmm

>>79198872
but treatment is available

>>79198853
this theory is based upon nothing

>>79198853
absolute monarchy hasn't been a thing for several centuries

the anglo-saxons had kings

republicanism in britain only existed under the romans (albeit extremely briefly, literally a few years under caesar before he declared himself emperor) and was itself a foreign import

what's the biggest animal you lads reckon you could fight and win against?

>>79198894
your mother AHAHAHAHAHAHA

compared apples to oranges today but couldn't reach a decision

>>79198894
the establishment

>>79198894
human

business idea: 18 year old gf with a growth hormone defect

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Uh, hi, we're here to replace the straight white males?

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>>79198910
alri Nige

>>79198924
'e

>>79198894
a singular paki

they often roam in gangs however and your best option is to either freeze (pakis have poor eyesight but excellent hearing) or to flee immediately

>>79198890
The Anglo-Saxon kingship was elective and based on a council of advisers. There were also many different independent landowners, whereas now there is only one (technically anything you own in England belongs to the Queen: you're just renting it).

saw this gift horse earlier lads. looked it right in the mouth.

I Runtoids
Can You
Deck Of
All

>>79198894
Cow. Apparently you can tip them over.

was in a glass house earlier. broth was fucking ruined.

Saw a girl who mentioned she has a B/A in Ancient History and a B/Sc in Biology.

Thought of telling her that she was now trained to study my sex life!

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>>79198944
Pakis are like zombies

girlfriend refers to my willy as the ivory tower

gf needs an ebony tower

business idea: an app that turns your phone into a projectile, eliminating the need to angrily throw it

had a dream I shagged one of the stupid slags from school

in the dream she was shocked at how good in bed I was. dunno if that would happen irl

business idea: an app that turns your phone into an ebony tower

>>79199041

>shagged a slag
>in your dream

Did she act motherly, anon?

>During this marriage he began an extended affair with his wife's younger sister Lady Alexandra Metcalfe, and with their stepmother, Grace Curzon, Marchioness Curzon of Kedleston

The good graces of aristocracy

>>79198990
I said the same to a girl who had BSc's in Zoology and Paediatrics. Now we're married.

right lads, i'm off now and will be back in 4 days. don't make any new gimmicks without me k?

cat has been vomiting all day

>>79199067
sickest pussy you'll ever get mate

white man in hammersmith palais

New Gimmick: No Gimmick.

business idea: a dead nigger

americans call the caramelised bits at the bottom of pans the fond when its actually called the sucs. the fond is when you add deglazing liquid to form the dish base.
those silly billies.

an 11 year old kept flirting with me the other day
i couldn't escape so i looked like a proper 'ce

*moves to an area fraught with life threatening natural disasters*
hmm reckon i like it here
*house turns to rubble*

the SUCCs

>>79199101
Should have slipped her the willy tbhon

>>79199067
hate how they feel the need to spread the vomit around the house as much as possible. they do a bit here, move all the way across the room and do a bit there, move into the kitchen, do a bit there etc

>>79199111

Isn't that all of America, sweaty haha?

>>79199132
The Irish Experience

>>79198894
Peter Dinklage.

When you think about it, we're all just overripe babies.

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>>79199055
/ourlad/

Big fan of my 'baboon nonce' gimmick

mcgregor made 125 million for losing

need a flat cheasted gf lads

>>79198648
had sex with a random woman at 3am in a London street while she had an epileptic fit.

I'm a complete piece of shit and I'm fucking proud of it

>>79199207
thats called rape

>>79199132
just before my cat had to be put down he got really ill and kept throwing up. last couple of times he did it he ran to his litter tray and puked in there. was a very good cat.

>>79199209
>flag
We know.

>>79199207
Nonce

>>79199207
rapist

>>79199209
National anthem of Ireland.

>>79199209
No need to tell us twice pet haha x

>>79199200
would have made 126m if he won. that will follow him to the grave

>>79199225
:( im sorry lad

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>>79199223
>>79199228
>>79199229
She didn't say no.

>>79199257
fuck off rapist

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won a round of PUBG

It never reigns it pores my lads

if you think about it consent is implied by existence

not condoning rape, just think we need more research done

>>79199225
i admire their instinct to be tidy with their bodily functions. theyre def more civilised than dogs in that area

consent is easy to get, you'd have to be blind, autistic or psychotic not to know when a girl clearly wants it and when she doesn't

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>consent is implied by existence

got a job induction today lads wish me luck x

>>79199330
Can't stop laughing at this for some reason.

>>79199342
*inducts you without your consent*

>tfw blind, autistic and psychotic

>>79199327
The other thing is if you have extremely low self esteem and just assume that nothing means anything.

>>79199390
me irl

Just made a dentist appointment. Bit worried about my teeth.

going to make leek and potato soup today

>>79199330
lol

>>79199439
good lad, better to nip it in the bud

going fishing tomorrow. what to expect?

>>79199443
Why isn't "leek and potato soup" the nicknake for the sea between Ireland and Wales?

https://youtu.be/dbChwjzfmGU
quintessential british cuisine

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>>79199330

might go to e621, what to expect?

>>79199330
howling at this

>>79199480
fish

>>79199496
cornetto hopefully

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>>79199330
hooly shit

>>79199484
whats wrong with a hearty stew? perfect for British weather mate.

where did you come from where did you go

where did you come from cotton eye joe

le ebin include me in the screencap underrated post multiple replies

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Life pro-tip.

>>79199522
at what point did i imply there is anything wrong with it? think you've got a bit of a persecution complex lad

you're literally a retard if you think the bbc is impartial

>>79199536
sad little man

>>79199559
it was implied by your existence

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>>79199551

cat is ill and being very cute and cuddling with me :b

>>79199346
>>79199450
>>79199486
>>79199502
>>79199520
isnt that funny

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>>79199582

>>79199582
how do you know i exist?

>>79199586
hope it dies. disgusting vermin.

>>79199590
ah yes, the comedic powerhouse of new zealand

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>>79199590

>>79199609
I can sense the consent.

more like poo peeland

>>79199586
hope he's alright mate

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>>79199625

i never see the ">worshipping a dead jew" ">believing in a Jewish religion" argument thrown at Islam even though it should apply to it just as much as it does to Christianity

they're all crypto-jews

GANDALF IS A WIZARD???

>captcha: europe toilets

i think im losing eyesight on my right eye

OI AHM ANGREH

>>79199715
Better start wanking with your left hand then.

topshops gone into receivership

>>79199715
*bops you in the left eye*
how about now?

>>79199734
i always did that with my left hand

>>79199754
Wow, the French really are perverts.

>>79199647
thanks

Don't you ever get tired of being alive?

Anyone in Camden right now? I don't want to meet, just want to ask you something.

>>79199768
lefty is superior because you can use a mouse while you're wanking

Army supplies are out of the question when you really think about it. >:3c

girls on wheelchairs are disgusting their legs look like sticks but not in a hot way

>>79199852
I just find it really hot how helpless and dependent they are.

I am greek.

>>79199838
>not doing it 2H while controlling the mouse with your mind

>>79199866
you're near the nonce border

>>79199817
>Camden
*vomits

>stand up and your dick is stuck to the inside of your underwear with a bit of dry cum in the urethra and then comes unstuck in a moment of blissful agony

vegan food doesn't exist, fertilizer is an animal byproduct

get real

Aw I just got here and thread is end :(

>>79199893
You're surrounded on all side by the nonce border.

judi dench is fucking hench
she could rip my spine out

>>79200068
>>79200068
>>79200068