True stories of meeting foreigners

>Feeling uncomfortable, I decide to take him to get food
>Small sandwich shop everyone in town loves
>He orders first
>”Where are the burger?”
>Old lady behind counter looks confused
>I explain that he’s from Europe
>She asks which country and he reluctantly answers
>”Oh yes, that’s a beautiful country” she replies, “That’s where my family came from”
>I see blood vessels bulging on the back of his neck, beads of sweat forming at his hair line. He’s breathing heavily.
>He slowly leans into the old woman’s face and without warning screams “MUH HERITAGE!” at the top of his lungs
>Starts furiously clapping in her face
>I have to restrain and pull him back. I apologize to the old woman
>Visibly shaken, she meekly replies “H-have a nice d-day”
>This comment only seems to make him angrier
>Our food arrives and we initially eat in silence
>”Fatty” he says, ostensibly addressing me, despite my relatively low BMI, “where is Albania?”
>He has an incredibly smug look on his face
>”Albania? It’s a tiny country across the Adriatic sea from Italy, south of Serbia and Montenegro, north of Greece”
>The color drains from his face
>His expression is now one of extreme distress and paranoia
>”M-murrifats. Education” he replies, sheepishly
>I still don’t understand what a Murrifat is

(to be continued...)

>Decide to smooth things over, ask him if he’d like a beer afterwards
>”Murrifat beer. Pisswater. Pick both” he replies
>I continue
>”I know the stereotype about American pale lager, but things have changed a lot in the last 20 years. There’s an excellent ale I know of that’s produced by a local brewery just down the street”
>My cousin goes completely stoic
>I instantly realize that I must have crossed some sort of line
>He just sits there for a minute, occasionally twitching
>It’s almost as if his brain has been overloaded
>He drops to the floor and begins writhing
>I’m about to get help when suddenly he leaps back up to his feet and takes in the largest breath of air I’ve ever seen
>”MUUUUUUH MICROBREEEEEEEWS!”
>restaurant windows shatter
>my eardrums nearly rupture
>He is now ripping off his clothes and shrieking
>Old lady behind register is going for phone
>He promptly shits into his hand and chucks it at her, knocking her off of her feet
>He leaps out the window, still in the throes of defecation
>Police arrive
>Yell at him to surrender
>He lunges at them, grabbing one officer and mauling his face
>Grabs disabled officer’s gun and starts to raise it
>Other officer fires, hitting him in the chest
>My cousin falls to the ground
>I rush over
>He’s barely clinging to life
>I ask him why he did it
>He motions me closer
>”Be Murrifat…” he begins with his last dying breath, coughing up blood
>”…Get shot”
>Falls to the ground, dead

File: 1484341933114.jpg (69KB, 699x485px) Image search: [Google]

69KB, 699x485px

So did you fug?

File: 1503771551044.png (132KB, 600x514px) Image search: [Google]

132KB, 600x514px

Assblasted merifat detected

>Some mantit-blasted burger actually took the time and effort to write this

>>79128901
He died...

>some fattie took all this time to write that and it isn't even funny

>some 56% white ameriblob took this time to write this fan fiction while Jamal fucks his wife

kek so bad

embarrassing thread

I laughed irl, wtf I love united statians now

If you are going to make up a story at least make it interesting.
I stopped carrying half way through the first post.

>>79128890
Great fucking ending holy hell.

>>79128844
Almost there, 7/10 for the effort

>>79128890
>>Other officer fires, hitting him in the chest
not bad

File: 665907.jpg (44KB, 600x400px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 600x400px

>>79128857
>I explain that he’s from Europe
>She asks which country and he reluctantly answers
>”Oh yes, that’s a beautiful country” she replies, “That’s where my family came from”
>I see blood vessels bulging on the back of his neck, beads of sweat forming at his hair line. He’s breathing heavily.
>He slowly leans into the old woman’s face and without warning screams “MUH HERITAGE!” at the top of his lungs

Classic

>>79128844
>>79128857
>>79128890
/int/ travel to america. The history.

>>79131689
^ this

This is gold

>>79129242
Negro
>>79129472
Pay debts

Good banter America.

Bonza yarn, cobba

9.6/10

Take it back to plebit.

>>79132409
I don't think that reddit would understand half of those xenophobic memes. Everything that is racist of offensive is taken down over there...
4chan is the only place where you can freely denied the holocaust and call someone a nigger.

This is a good one

When i went to Amsterdam i ended up meeting a brit with my last name and we ended up travelling together for a bit

>>79132340
Sempre tem um bostileiro pagando de nazipardo.

10/10 euros are assblasted

>>79128844
Stop reposting this shitty copypasta every six months. It's been five years man.

>>79132340
>Good banter America.
>2017
>sucking american cock
i want to murder you so bad

I kek'ed

I love when smug Euros get fucking owned.

>>79132550
Negrinho sujo. Você não é bem vindo aqui.

>>79128844
>>79128857
>>79128890
Kek

>>79133348
O Americano fala isso na vida real se ele quiser pq não acontece nada. Se vc repetir isso na vida real se fode pq vai preso.
Vai ter que sempre falar isso covardemente escondidinho na net.

>>79133252
fecha o c[u seu macaco estupido

File: 1498929115063.png (261KB, 1039x559px) Image search: [Google]

261KB, 1039x559px

>>79133026
>he's been on /int/ for 5 years

>>79133489
You will never leave.

>>79133252
>implying americock isnt the most tasty

Havent seen this pasta in a while.
Anyone have the american airport one?

What happened to the Americans clapping meme? You don't really see it anymore.

>>79128844
What can I say, If even your imaginary friends are assholes to you, I'm very sorry

>>79134681
>gallego banter
oshtiash tio vash a toda makina

>>79134481
>meme

>>79132340
>sucking american cock once again

and this is why Brazil will be a rare flag because of the t*rk

good job slave

>>79128844
>>79128857
>>79128890
not bad at all

Audibly kek'd

>>79133482
>Se vc repetir isso na vida real se fode pq vai preso.
Injuria racial não é crime grave.
No máximo eu teria de pagar algumas cestas básicas para um bando de crioulos que não trabalha.

>>79135564
Wut

oldie but a goodie

>>79128844
>Americans
>Humour
Pick both.

Excellent story, yankee.

>>79128890

Hah, made me laugh! But you should had written the cousin holding the gun wrong, shooting himself on accident and commenting either "I've never used a gun before" or "this is we don't have guns".

I keked t bh

>>79141901
>>Americans
>>Humour
>Pick both.
>Excellent story, yankee.
It's a classic pasta you stupid newfag.

>>79128844
> be me
> looking at stuff at Vernisaj market, tons of Russia-themed stuff for foreigners
> translate what the seller says for some cute girl since the seller barely speaks any English
> feel better for the rest lf the day

>>79134481
after watching european media, they clap at all the same shit we do.

File: jimmy savile with glass eye he stole from a kid he molested and fashioned into a necklace that he proudly wore on television.png (517KB, 615x409px) Image search: [Google]

517KB, 615x409px

>>79129112
And?

>tfw could never banter Americans and act smug like based Western Europeans
>too poor and indebted to America for guaranteeing our independence

>>79142287
no

>>79142661
what do we clap at that you don't

>>79128844
>He begins bleating on about American imperialism and how the Soviet Union were the true liberators of Europe and Asia
You were the ones who fought for Communism.

File: 1478397808080.png (100KB, 600x566px) Image search: [Google]

100KB, 600x566px

>>79128890
>>”Be Murrifat…” he begins with his last dying breath, coughing up blood
>>”…Get shot”
>>Falls to the ground, dead


This is poetry. I haven't had such a good laugh on 4chan in months.
Hats off, sir.

>>79142897

Derp, I didn't know it was a pasta. I guess it never gets posted outside of /int/ because I've never read it.

2/10 copypasta

File: Ahhhhh.png (20KB, 128x128px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 128x128px

>>79128890
Pretty good summarization of a /int/ autist going to America and gets their sterotypes shattered

Bravo

10/10