you wake up in the swedish empire year 1658

find qt swede and go cuddle with him

>get drafted into army
>somehow don't get shot
>get dysentery instead and shit myself to death

for real tho, it seems 1000x times better than modern day sweden

Why didn't the swedes take all of norway? Did they fear the norwegian warrior?

>>78950390
Jag heter könsorgan år gammal

invent the vaccines for smallpox and rabies as well as dynamite, get rich selling them

Enjoy the safest and most prosperous time in Estonian history

>>78950227
make Germans eat their own feces in water

>>78950227
kill swedes for the tsar using modern tactics so i could stay alive and slay swedes

>>78950892
Ah yes, the Schwedentrunk. Unfortunately by now the 30 years war has been over for 10 years. You can do it on poles though.

>>78950227
help out the rebellion in trondelag

>>78950227
Also take this guy >>78950870
as war trophy to fuck him

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Help build Estonian national identity from early on in order to avoid later clusterfucks

>>78950951
You'll have to get through me first, Russian devil!

>>78950922
>>78950951
Great Northern War doesn't start in 42 years. You'll be a crazy old drunk by then, Ivan.

move to russia

Die from famine/disease/Cossack raid/war/suicide

bretty 0/5

>>78951038
>Russians in peace time

No sadder sight in the world.

>>78950227
Die from diabeetus and lack of food.

>>78950227
>"""empire"""

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>>78951955
Please stop bullying us about this
It's only called an empire in English

>>78950227
I'll fap my dick first

>>78952055
Fuckers have it coming desu. Have a quick look at the history of it and you basically bullied a few finnish tribes. Integrated parts of the Livonian order that were so fucking fractured because they never had a coherent system in place. Fucked with Poland a lot because they were scrubs and then got your shit pushed in by Russia.

The Northern war was the only time Sweden ever showed anything approaching excellence and still got exposed as fuck.

France won the 30 year war

>>78952196
Rude

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>>78952310
You ruined Kalmar you fuckers

I mean I've got a blindspot here actually. Did the Danes want to implement serfdom or some horrible shit like that or was it just a nationalistic shitfight?

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move to brandenburg... fuckin swedes

Es ist unser Heimat... Deutschland über alles! (PS Unsere Kultur ist besser!)

Tell that:

1) Mazepa is a loser faggot whom swedes shouldn't trust

2) bring a lot of food since there is no food when you use scorched earth tactic

3)...

4) Enjoy being a swedish legendary military commander

>>78952416
First rebellion against the kalmar union was to get rid of a g*rman king who was taxing everyone into starvation to fund his autistic rivalry with the fucking hanseatic league
Second was sort of the same - king of Denmark-Norway conquers Sweden, raises taxes and chimps out and kills all the nobility. The thing is that the new king of Sweden after that rebellion didn't really make things better for the peasants but he did modernize Sweden and turn us Protestant.

>explain the concept of a breech loading rifle
>get hung as a witch

>>78952779
To be fair the Hanseanic league brought prosperity to the Baltic man

Its kinda sad really. The population of Scandinavia was always too small to really do much. Punched well above its weight for a bit though. Denmark was pretty based but they were total cunts about it really. If they had been nice to the places that they were the overlords of it might be a relevant country today. Bit of a reality check when you're banging on about being the great I am and then Prussia and Austria turn up to take all your good land and leave you so you can only farm pigs.

"For of all sad words of tongue or pen, The saddest are these: 'It might have been!'"

I would go live a comfy life in Trondheim and live amongst the Norwegians. I'm sure as an English speaker I could buddy up with some Anglo merchants.

Hans was a good boy and you should have helped him conquer Dithmarschen instead of sweding out.
>>78952779

>>78952196
>Who is Gustavus Adolphus

>>78953154
Mmm yeah because leading a mercenary army funded by the British is anything at all

Caroleanian infantry was the only thing he really did mate. And it very much comes under the part of "bullying Poland"

Kiss the ground.

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>>78953058
the weak should fear the strong

>>78953311
Sten Sture is the true embodiment of the eternal swede desu

>>78953362
That would be Charles XII

>>78953436
X*

XII was an angel

u swedes are ok, dont go to fredriksten fortress tomorrow

>>78953221
>First he bullied the Danes
>Then bullied ruski
>Then ass blasted Poland
>founding modern-day warfare
>bullies Poland again
>Lion land in germany
>Run around HRE assblasting everyone while getting mortally wounded several times
>Dies
>Still wins

>>78953526
Charles XIIs murder was an inside job.

>>78953784
>was the eternal an*lo's puppet
>Danced well for his masters
>France wins in the end

>>78950227
>you wake up in the sweden
hang myself

>>78953849
Is it true that during the Northern War Swedes had 34 cannons per 200 Russian ones and only had gun powder for 4 of them?

>>78953784
>ass blasted Poland

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Karksi_(1600)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Wenden_(1601)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Kokenhausen
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Wolmar
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Fellin
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Reval_(1602)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Weissenstein
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Rakvere_(1603)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Weissenstein
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Kircholm
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_P%C3%A4rnu
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Salis
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Daugavgriva_(1609)

Gustavus Adolphus learned to fight in Poland. He got completely fucked by Polish generals.

>>78953221
I think you are getting the wrong war.
England funded Sweden against France in the Napoleonic wars, France funded Sweden in the thirty years wars. If England threw us some gold it wasn't relevant compared to the support we got from France.

>>78954334
Gustavus Adolphus wasn't king until 1611.

>>78950227
>A bunch of ice and snow
>"""""""Empire"""""""

So this is...the power of sweden...woah.

>>78954578
See>>78952055

>>78954334
for sure we assblasted you

>>78954578
They annexed territories of each regional power neighboring them and the latter couldn't do anything about it,

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>>78950227
Preemptively attack Russia.

>>78954334
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deluge_(history)
>we did it cause we were bored

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>>78950227
Expose them... AGAIN!

>>78955121
But then Peter The Great pulls a Scythian "scorched earth" tactic and uses Ukraine as a buffer state to weaken Swedish army which ultimately leads to the destruction of Swedish Empire.

>>78955368
El SpaniardiANO
Delet this

>>78951664
It's like a fish out of water.

How come Charles XII looks like Nick diPaolo?

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>>78955594
>pic rel

>>78953849
The Jews did it.

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>>78955594
>Nick diPaolo

>>78955659
>Jews
Janissaries, probably.

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>>78955434
>But then Peter The Great pulls a Scythian "scorched earth" tactic and uses Ukraine as a buffer state to weaken Swedish army which ultimately leads to the destruction of Swedish Empire.
He's not around yet....

>>78950227
lament the fact that it will all fall within a quarter of a century but it enjoy time before that happens

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>>78955700

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>>78955758
It's Great Northern War we're talking about, right?
The rape of Baturyn in particular, I mean.

>>78950227
Go to the territory of new Sweden and poison the area that will become Camden, NJ and poison the earth so it's uninhabitable forever.

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>>78955833
When did Ukraine get internet?

Send me a wife you fucker

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>dip stands for dipshit

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>>78955833
>It's Great Northern War we're talking about, right?
>The rape of Baturyn in particular, I mean.
No the map is 1658. Peter won't be born for 14 years. Maybe I'll stab his mom in the womb.

>>78955981
>>78955651
They do look similar, don't they?

>>78950227

introduce swedish women to my BCC(Big Catholic Cock)

>>78955981
>>78956023
Scitzo Ukrainian, just what we need

>>78956023
A bit but if you've got a gay crush on Nick, he s right wing. A lot of Italian-Americans are.

>>78952055
>It's only called an empire in English
Russians liked to call their empires "tsarstvo". And so did Serbs, Bulgarians etc.

>>78956071
>he s right wing
Yeah, I know. He's an ALT RIGHT faggot just like all the pieces of shit on this fucking board.
I just wanted to point out the fact that both Swedes and Aye-talians are subhuman shitskins who belong in a gas chamber.
Cheers.

>>78954334
Ahh Poland, the Ireland of Sweden (and Russia (and Germany (and Austria))).

>>78958029
Are you a LISP programmer by any chance?

>>78950227
A FUCKING LOCAL EMPIRE

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>>78950227
Die there so people can know there was a Swedish Empire

I would move to Denmark

>>78952784
kek

>>78950227
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_W-fIn2QZgg

>>78950430
Danmark-Norway was roughly as powerful as Sweden and got bailed out by the dutch everytime Sweden got close to anschlussing it.

Sweden got Norway after the Napoleonic wars however.

>>78959562
This.

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Wake up with my waifu :3

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>>78955554
Only sandniggers hate oir northern brothers

T. IBERIAN RACE

>>78965444
cute! :3

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>>78965500
Iberians are better than other humans (if they can be called that).

die to famine because swedish crown forbids me of farming rye and wheat couldnt withstand the cold.

>Swedish """empire"""

>>78965254
Actually what's Sweden's take on this?

Denmark has a navy
Navy can be used to transport French troops theoretically
England just shells the living shit out of Copenhagen and sinks their navy
Claims that Denmark was on the side of the French afterwards

wtf man

>>78968505
sweden had a navy too though

>>78965647
>>78952055

>>78950227
I use my a academic knowledge to advace the science and replicate some modern inventions, get filthy rich and get titles and lands from the king, warn everyone to beware eternal G*rman and A*glo if they like Europe

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>>78968505