>be American >get shot

>be Australian
>house bought (by chinese)

>>78862604
>be american
>drive your freedom scooter to wallmart to buy a new rag on a stick and a cheesburger
>get shot

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>Be American
>Be fat
>Take 10 waddles down the road
>Get shot up by Tyrone
>He takes your wallet
>Roll to the hospital using your own grease to more or less glide there
>Have to pay 120k because Trump care best care
>Motorized wheelchair home (Another $2k)
>Watch news on how current generation of peaceful protestors and college students have another "Peaceful" protest about education, and basic economics.
>Take a swig of your "Heavy Cream Wet Dream™" transfat drink
>Feel your heart stop beating because it's covered in fat
>Cry a single cholesterol tear as you whisper
"God Bless America"

>>78862604
>>78862636
>be American
>drown because you can't leave a city that's about to flood within a week

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>>78862604
>be australian
>housing bubble
>games are good $50 more expensive
>tramp stamp on flag
>everything is venomous, from dogs to sisters
>mommy has a belly pouch
>ping 400+ with data cap to slow down on that supersonic 1.5 Mb/s """"Internet""""
>struggle to load up about:blank
>smear vegemite on your wooden cables to boost the signal as petrol shaman instructed
>have a Gaytime that is hard to have on your own
>celebrate National Sorry Day
>go to Canada as a girl, get drunk and frostbitten during a nap outdoors in February
>go to Bali and get burned
>be tasmanian, be inbred
>get cancer due to the lack of ozone layer
>get glassed
>get fucked by Wei Long
>get shot by Muhammad the Pinoy
>get stomped by emus
>get kicked by cassowaries
>get stung by platypus and live in horrible world of pain for months
>get bitten by spiders in your closet
>get in the water and step on a venomous sea urchin
>get stung by a 4mm jelly fish
>get curb stomped in kings cross
>get privilege checked in lelbourne
>get chlamydia from koala
>get anthrax from wombat
>get fucked by kangaroo
>get rused by NBN Co. site
>get invaded by chinks
>get bit by snake in shower
>get kids stolen by dingos
>get laughed at by two Polacks on /int/
>get nuked by fucking Brits of all people
>get mocked by New Zealanders
>get outside and fall into the pit because the world literally hasn't rendered yet
>lose all wars, even against allegedly lesser beings
>huff petrol, bubble and drink cow piss from a goon sack
>2 0 1 6
>0 * * 1
>1 * * 0
>6 1 0 2

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>>78862636

>be american
>country bought by chinese

>>78863547

>Be Israeli
>Colonize west bank and steal someone's home
>Get a rock tossed at you
>Call the IDF, they kill the homeowner and give you the head as a trophy
>Awarded shekels for your honorable kill

Gods chosen people, truly