Advice for trip

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>Be me
> 21-year-old college kid in America
>parents bought me round trip plane tickets
> been planning this trip for over a week
> decide to practice Customs during the night before the trip around my neighborhood
> I learned this from business classes, the faster I assimilate the better my traveling experience will be
> to celebrate my multicultural experience I drink and smoke weed for the remainder of the night
> had breakfast with the remainder of last night's Taco Bell
>head to airport, my taxi driver was named Pahjeet
>Pahjeet was a cool fella who told me about Designated shitting streets
> I am so grateful of this information I kiss Pahjeet on the cheek
> I board my plane
> Arrive to India late at twilight time, I can't thank Pahjeet enough
> Turns out India is pretty clean and nice, very green too.
> Decide to go to Starbucks, kinda disappointed for the lack of India solicitors around
> my vowels hurt, I remember what Pahjeet told me
> ''Designated shitting streets"
> I shit a big log in front of the Starbucks as my act of Indian integration is projected in the distance by a silhouette
> I wish my senpai Pahjeet was here, he'd have been proud
> get hit and arrested
> turns out I wasnt in India I was in Indiana, USA.

I need some legal advice to avoid prison time for public defecation, any lawfags in this board?