/brit/

FOY

willy street

FOY

2nd for argentinian lemons

gonna need you fucks to stop watching OUR eclipse thanks.

what channel is the yank eclipse

doodle avenue

did the rock go in front of the star

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the south will rise again

>>78571188
the moon is only blocking 1/8th of the sun here and it's too cloudy to see even that

shite country, doing an emigration

>>78571203
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9eLja589E7I

Lot of diversity here 2bh

anyone want a go on my botty?

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alri

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scottish solarhouse

>>78571253
that dire nasal "wooooooooow"

>>78571262
wow it looks exactly the same as every other image of an eclipse

>>78571203
>implying the earth isn't flat

Got my first job today lads.

pls congratulate me I have no friends :(

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>>78571253
>God isn't rea-

>>78571278
aryan queen desu

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>>78571298

>>78571175
>>78571188
>>78571203
>>78571231
>>78571237
>>78571245
>>78571253
>>78571262
>>78571278
this is a thread dedicated to the discussion of british culture

>>78571339
dont care

>>78571339
You watching the city game tonight la?

need a good rubdown

any of you lads got soft hands and look good in a dress?

>>78571361
yeah

>>78571316
does anyone want to switch seats

>>78571339
what culture

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Here we are.......

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>>78571339
>british culture

shagged this fellow's british mum up the arse today 78571339

>>78571339
if the sun sets on it, it belongs to the british -> sun setting on the moon -> moon belongs to the british

As the earth, moon and sun align. I'll be popping to waitrose for a crusty baguette and some pickle

>sun is eclipsed
>crowd cheers nonstop for 60 seconds
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yes

>>78571253
How did they get that NASA logo up there?Spaceship?

britain is rubbish

>>78571388
spooky

That solar eclipse is taking too long. I'll watch a best of on Youtube tomorrow.

>>78571361
did the oil sheiks buy lots of men to kick the ball?

what would happen if you microwaved a frozen pizza lads?

>>78571388
nice

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>if the sun sets on it, it belongs to the british -> sun setting on the moon -> moon belongs to the british

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>>78571339
>THIS IS A THRAYD DEDYICAYTED TEW THA DISCASHIN OV BRETISH CULCHA

>>78571410
did americans really clap at an eclipse?

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what's this?

>>78571339
I've read about transvestism culture in the Brit islands, is this true?

>muriclaps clapping at the sun

>>78571033
>>78571223
Nice try Yanks. Over here, BBC stands for "Big British Castle," it's a media organisation. You may be surprised to learn that we don't actually have a shortened, colloquial form of "big black cock," because we don't discuss that subject enough to warrant a shorthand expression for it.

>>78571452
neptune

>>78571435
A very soggy, half baked pizza.

>>78571388
does it not cause darkness in the right spot?

>>78571452
looks like a tiny little shuttlecock

is it worth watching for the eclipse here lads?!!!?!?!?!1/1//!/ ANSWER FUCKERS

>>78571397
excellent post

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my life would be markedly easier if I were attractive

>>78571452
CGI glitch

>>78571485
no the weather is shit and the moon is only covering 4% of the sun

>>78571471
CORR

>>78571413
I'll tell you
*whispers you how it was done*
but now I have to kill you
*stabs you repeatedly in the stomach*
sorry, kid

eclipse in one hour

>>78571471
Fuark that lad is massive. Makes me insecure about my 5.5 inch pecker

>>78571485
no

>>78571483
No, that's about as close to full coverage as I'll get where I am
Totality is a small band from Oregon to South Carolina

FOY

>>78571471
imagine hitting it with that weed wacker x

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watching it on my phone haha

>>78571535
>Totality

does that cause total darkness?

>>78571494
I know that feel. Hate being ugly

>>78571508
>>78571530
FUCK YANKS

>>78571551
chucks feed and seed?
not a very funny joke here simpsons

>>78571451
they clap at movie credits and plane landings, why does a once in a lifetime event shock you?

>>78571551
I don't get it

>>78571448
Who are the two women supposed to be?

where can i watch a live recording of the eclipse?

>>78571551
greatest thing to happen to /tv/

Nothing is happening in these shitty eclipse stream
All hype over nothing

thought the sun was bigger than the moon

>>78571551
mmm yeah chuck's suck and fuck

>>78571576
yeh. bit spooky. where I am it's 99.5% totality so I should get some good pics in an hour

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Had sleep paralysis last night lads, second time in my life. Lasted only around 20 seconds, didn't open my eyes thankfully.

I seem to always get accompanying audio hallucinations. It's really fucking weird. I could swear that my phone started playing Michael Jackson's Man in the Mirror. I first thought I must have used a voice command. But in my sleep? No way, I am tripping.

I then imagined I was in a boxing match, to try and ''punch'' my way out of the paralysis with explosive movements maybe. Didn't really work but I came out of it a few seconds after.

>>78571576
Just means all of the sun is covered by the moon, it doesn't get as dark as night time

>>78571535
on TV there was another camera pointed at the audience in oregon, literally went pitch black for 20 sec

>>78571625
neat

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REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Why are the Americans not posting about this in their own general

>>78571629
the one time I had sleep paralysis I saw the eye of sauron

was mint desu

>>78571607
yeah but the sun is closer than the moon that why it covers the moon

one stinky dinky

>>78571659
it's not very busy this time of day

>>78571663
yeah but the earth is much bigger so how the hell does it eclipse the moon

>>78571650
grim

>>78571671
How is that our fault? It would be busier if they would all go post there instead

did the moon move between us and the sun?

>>78571663
>>78571607
not seeing much proof for either of these accusations

>>78571700
I wanna hang out with my British friends :3

>>78571662
Nah that was just my arsehole as I farted on you x

two stinky dinky

>>78571700
international board mate

>>78571704
thin it did a revelation

>>78571704
ohohoho look at me I dont give a shite about anything look how cool I am well FUCK YOU FAGGIT CUNT

>>78571704
no the earth is between the sun and the moon and it is eclipsing them

>>78571453
yeah drag performers but also benders in general

>>78571659
international board not intranational board, reddit. welcome anyway.

>>78571633
ah thats shite then

>>78571629
I've had a mad one on sleep paralysis.

Woke up laid on my side, looking into the eyes of a man crouched beside my bed, grinning at me. He was translucent green and I didn't recognise him. I was more surprised to see someone there than afraid of him, but I was (apparently) in such shock that I couldn't move anything but my eyes. I watched him stand up and move to the foot of my bed, then he climbed up and laid down on an invisible surface about 5 feet high. He started rotating like he was laid on a turntable, then as he spun, went slowly up through the ceiling. A second later I heard a scream from the upstairs flat.

For years I told people I'd seen a ghost, until I read up on sleep paralysis hallucinations.

>MAJOR EARTHQUAKES REPORTED IN LA AND ACROSS THE US EAST COAST
ITS HAPPENING
>MAJOR EARTHQUAKES REPORTED IN LA AND ACROSS THE US EAST COAST
ITS HAPPENING
>MAJOR EARTHQUAKES REPORTED IN LA AND ACROSS THE US EAST COAST
ITS HAPPENING
>MAJOR EARTHQUAKES REPORTED IN LA AND ACROSS THE US EAST COAST
ITS HAPPENING
>MAJOR EARTHQUAKES REPORTED IN LA AND ACROSS THE US EAST COAST
ITS HAPPENING
>MAJOR EARTHQUAKES REPORTED IN LA AND ACROSS THE US EAST COAST
ITS HAPPENING

i would turn any of you runts into a fucking paste if you said anything to me in real life

>>78571629
I see demon in my wardrobe when I'm away=ke during it

Worse though are those dreams where you feel it and no matter how hard you try to move, ypour limbs feel like concrete

Shits crazy

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>>78571760

>>78571794
Take it to /x/.

>>78571794
fake news

>>78567375
>>78567375
>>78567375

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>>78571794
>earthquakes on the least coast

>Have to take a picture for my ID card
>Look in the mirror
>Not being arrogant but probably a 9/10
>Take an image on my phone
>Straight down to 3/10
What the FUCK lads.
How is this witchcraft possible?

>>78571862
the camera isn't delusional

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>>78571862
your phone is a 20mm at most

>>78571862
you must have high confidence inflating the way you think you look like

>>78571862
The phone is how you really look lad

im probably a 10/10 ( no arrogance)

How do i get rid of my gag reflex lads?

>da jooz!

is there anymore surefire sign of a virgin?

>>78571862
phones don't have depth perception
you looking at yourself in the mirror do, but in a slightly warped way

you really look somewhere inbetween mirror you and phone selfie you

I don't know where to confess my sins anymore so I guess I'll do it in this thread

A few months back, I would sneak into my little sister's room and do stuff with her... just little things, like kiss her and touch her places, and one time I wiped a tiny bit of cum onto her feet. Nothing that serious, nothing that would hurt her.

I only did it maybe 10-15 times, and then I stopped, but my sister and mum have been acting strangely for the past week or so, and two nights ago, I overheard my mum asking questions to someone over the phone that were pretty obviously related to what I did with my sister.

I immediately packed my bag and prepared to GTFO town as fast as fucking possible, only for my mum to confront me and tell me about what "your father" was doing to my sister, and talked about the possibility of telling the police. Apparently my sister thought it was my dad doing it, and brought it up in casual conversation with my mum, which is how she found out.

My dad has previous sex offenses (none of them actually that serious), so this might just fly.

Is there any chance they could get DNA off of her feet, and if it did, wouldn't it test as a match for my dad since we're both closely related?

I'm also kinda worried that maybe my mum is lying to me or fucking with me and knows that it was me all along.

>>78571937
tuck your thumb under your fingers and clench your fist
for some reason this suppresses your gag reflex
try it out

>>78571948
Crying about leftypol that doesn't exist

>>78571948
islamophobia

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>>da jooz!

>is there anymore surefire sign of a virgin?

why does turkmenistan exist? don't the turks have turkey?

>>78571937
suck dick nigga lmao

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I feel robbed

>>78571972
wew

give it to me straight doc no sugarcoating

Will I ever lose my virginity?

>>78571948
immigration critic
self proclaimed anti-capitalist

>>78572016
turkey is the country of the anatolian turks
turkmenistan is the country of the turkmens.

had a chance to put my willy in a girl once

>>78571984
Pretty sure the thousands of girls raped by muslim rape gangs are neither virgins, or keen on muslims.

>>78571968
>rapist's son is also a rapist

Shocking.

But seriously though, tell the truth and accept the punishment

>>78572050
is that like an alt right version of nostalgia critic

>>78572070
don't believe you

>>78572034
are you nuts? not wearing any protection?
millions of americans will go blind today.

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>>78572044

Hope millions of yanks go blind today

feel sick

>plan on making chips and steak
>put chips in the oven
>housemates start using the stove

LOVE flatsharing lads Absolutely love it.

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>>78571968

>>78572128
>stove

alright nan

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>Hope millions of yanks go blind today

>>78572145
what do you call it? hob?

>>78572151
Like a fly straight to shit
End yourself you obsessed freak

>>78572128
for the last time get to manchester before everyone else does and buy a flat

FUCK OFF with >b-but m-muh career opportunities meme, it's all up here

>>78572161
circular flame chute

>>78572109
unfortunately they have text to speech nowadays so they'll still be able to post

>>78572128
never sharing accomodation in my life ever again once I move out of this place in a couple of months, it's inhuman

>>78571968
alri poley

>>78572161
agar

>>78572169
Oooo you're hard.......

Stephen King has a jawline and a half

>>78571968
stop stealing >>78567375 →

>>78572238
looks like a literal monkey

that was a religious experience

I don't know where to confess my sins anymore so I guess I'll do it in this thread

A few months back, I would sneak into my little sister's room and do stuff with her... just little things, like kiss her and touch her places, and one time I wiped a tiny bit of cum onto her feet. Nothing that serious, nothing that would hurt her.

I only did it maybe 10-15 times, and then I stopped, but my sister and mum have been acting strangely for the past week or so, and two nights ago, I overheard my mum asking questions to someone over the phone that were pretty obviously related to what I did with my sister.

I immediately packed my bag and prepared to GTFO town as fast as fucking possible, only for my mum to confront me and tell me about what "your father" was doing to my sister, and talked about the possibility of telling the police. Apparently my sister thought it was my dad doing it, and brought it up in casual conversation with my mum, which is how she found out.

My dad has previous sex offenses (none of them actually that serious), so this might just fly.

Is there any chance they could get DNA off of her feet, and if it did, wouldn't it test as a match for my dad since we're both closely related?

I'm also kinda worried that maybe my mum is lying to me or fucking with me and knows that it was me all along.

>>78572184
literally 'muh career opportunities'
>>78572199
i'm going to be doing it for at least the next two full years.

>>78572261
bullshit

>>78572226
a yank try to use a /brit/ gimmick is like a fish out of water

*climbs to the top of the /brit/ spire*
*synchronises*

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Anyone finna watch the match tonight?

>its a flatmates decide to congregate in the kitchen because the landlord converted the living room into a bedroom so the social space is the kitchen which makes it awkward for me to cook steak on high heat because of the smoke and the noise epsiode (Again)

fan bloody tastitic

>>78572275
>muh career opportunities

*pays 3/4+ of his income in rent every month*
*will NEVER buy a house*
*hopes that mr shekelberg will promote him in a decade if he's a good little slave*

the absolute STATE of you, hurry up, property in manchester will be just as bad as london in the next 5 years or so, unless you work in finance or law, you don't NEED to be in london, you've just convinced yourself otherwise

>>78572323
I'm boycotting the premier league, sorry lad

>muh career opportunities

*pays 3/4+ of his income in rent every month*
*will NEVER buy a house*
*hopes that mr shekelberg will promote him in a decade if he's a good little slave*

the absolute STATE of you, hurry up, property in manchester will be just as bad as london in the next 5 years or so, unless you work in finance or law, you don't NEED to be in london, you've just convinced yourself otherwise

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just made a cuppa tea

>>78572323
'verton

going to uni for literally free. state of you third worlders

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bought a sport IPTV streaming service lads but the internet isn't fast enough to stream it

>>78572396
no such thing as free education you fucking commie

>>78572374
don't believe you

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the gf

>>78572356
mr racially-charged-stereotype WILL promote me in three years.

at which point i want to just leave the country.

i was actually going to buy a property in a different town (not manchester) but not to live in (someone else put in a higher bid)

>>78572363
Literally why?

>>78572377
Hope City gets humiliated desu.

>>78572396
*sharts noisily*

>>78572419
*gets promoted*
*leaves the country*

ah yes, whole lot of point in this

Just accept london is done for and you're wasting your time, I know it'll cause a lot of ego death for you, but london just isn't worth it unless your parents are trillionaires.

I repeat, if you DON'T work in finance or law, you DO NOT need to be in london

haven't eaten properly or masturbated in 4 days. feeling peaceful

>>78572450
same, need pep to be truly exposed this season

why are UK news reporting on this eclipse
like who cares about yanks

>>78571862
ugly bastard

>>78572479
Oooo you're hard.......

hey la
laaaa
laaAAAA
lAAAAAA
LAAAAAAAAAA


STFU

>>78572479
who is reporting on it?

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>londoners

>>78572509
it's ard not hard

>tfw got really good at arguing because of constant arguments on 4chan and always BTFO people

>>78572470
the idea is i stick around in the promoted job for maybe a year and then that when i've got that job title and experience under my belt, moving abroad is a piece of piss.

im not in london because i want to be, if bossman said 'we're relocating you to 'any other city in the UK besides pseudo-londons' i would be over the moon.

i work in something that is pretty much only in london.

>live up north
>work a comfy part time job
>live in my mums house
>can leisurely walk to work
>the only non-white people are the chinese who run the chippy
>can walk the dog in the nearby countryside
>everyone knows each other
>everyone's friendly and gets along

feels good to be a northerner

minutes silence is fucking stupid

>it's an I live in London with 10 Pakis episode

Glad I haven't seen this one

>>78572402
grim

>>78572543
no you dont

http://www.express.co.uk/news/science/844037/eclipse-solar-eclipse-earthquake-Yellowstone-volcano
Holy fuck yanks going to get pompei'd lol fat arses turned into statues

>>78572551
>everyone's friendly and gets along
was with you up to here

>>78572543
but how, you can't use meme arrows IRL

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Here's a quick rundown on Karl Pilkington:
>The BBC bows to him
>In contact with primates
>Possesess bullshit detection abilities
>Owns radio and telly globally
>Direct descendants of the ancient english royal blood line
>Will bankroll the first cities on Mars (Pilkinburg will be be the first city)
>Own 99% of jellyfish DNA editing research facilities on Earth
>First designer babies will in all likelihood be orangeheaded manc cunt babies
>said to have an IQ of 70, such intelligence on Earth has only existed deep in dirty council estates in Manchester

>>78572543
lies

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>>78572402
SCREAMING

>>78572553

LITERAL sheed

>>78572551
>lives in my mums house
>everyone knows each other
grim

ah yes the 4chan school of argumentation
>tosses off a one line insult
>closes tab so i get the last reply

>>78572570
people have been saying yellowstone will erupt and kill every american for ages, it's not going to happen let's be honest

Feeling very alone and sad

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>>78572418
very good

>>78572616
do you not like a sense of community?
do londoners literally all sit in their rooms in their flatshares ignoring each other?

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*shoots at an opp*

>>78572617
or call them a nigba and close the tab

>>78572570
>3.2 at a depth of 6 miles
No one even felt that

>>78572577
'ead like a fuckin' orange

Realised my internet speed isnt that bad its just that my room is far from the router

>>78572524
Happily, climate change might flood them.

don stepped outside

where can i watch the eclipse online?

>>78572547
>i work in something that is pretty much only in london.

tell me what it is so I can blow you the fuck out

>>78572624
you're never alone with your anonymous pals on 4chan

>>78572629
hate people like that

>>78572640
>do you not like a sense of community?
no i enjoy being anonymous in public
>do londoners literally all sit in their rooms in their flatshares ignoring each other?
no that's why being an abnormie in a flatshare is fucking horrendous.

>>78572629
would love to send my fist hurtling into her skull

might get on finasteride for my hair loss but worried about not being able to get a boner ever again

where can i watch the eclipse online?

>>78572671
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vf0rJoVWkNM

apparantly something going on about benders in asustralia

>>78572671
pm'd you the link x

>>78572673
i don't wanna say.

but its something you need a degree for, that tends to locate itself near law and finance.

I live in London but I don't enjoy living in London

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They got him lads

anyone here got a link to an eclipse stream?

>>78572654
>A magnitude five quake also struck 50 miles off the coast of the Chiapas region of Mexico, just hours before the eclipse.

>>78572714
they're voting on whether they can get married
why is there a vote? nobody knows

>>78572543
4chan people are shite at arguing, all they know how to do is deflect from the point and personally attack people in ways that get you punched if you attempt them in real life

>>78572723
and where are you gonna move abroad? I assume you're a filthy monolingual

moving to manchester then bristol, unironically
fuck london

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>>78572680
cutes?

Would Yellowstone erupting end western civilisation??

>>78572747
what else do you speke

>>78572671
is google broken?

where can I watch the eclipse online?

>>78572732
what's up with this lad? doesn't look best pleased

>>78572570
Every winter the Express predicts an Arctic Holocaust of snow, and it only ever rains. Didn't even do that last year, mind.

Need a valium

all the dogs started barking at the same time, might have an earthquake soon

>>78572762
hope so

london is the second greatest city on earth

>>78571152
shh you'll trigger fit

>>78572751
shithole tour of england

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>>78572768
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g54aPmNjMM4

what's the deal with scousers?

got my season ticket taken off me for shouting ponce at a player on saturday

>>78572804
runt

>>78572747
dunno i'll have to see where the jobs are.

trying to learn other languages. but flatshare induced depression is sucking the will out of me.

>>78572801
i live in bristol and its nice

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>>78572750
>manage to get into social media accounts of a presidential candidate's campaign manager
>do this

>>78572796
what's the first

>>78572829
hull

>>78572734
So? That's a subduction zone, earthquakes will be stronger there

>>78572750
who needs spaces after periods?

>>78572829
Leeds

what time (UK) will the eclipse happen?

>>78572688
Age gracefully and accept it.

>>78572739
it's called sophistry and it's an artform

>>78572816
please, they already own the country, I for one welcome our new overlords

>>78572829
grimsby

>>78572811
what club

>>78572570
you actually reid the express?

>>78572844
denial

>>78572857
after you ded

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why are these so NOISY

>>78572732
me after walking into wakey unannounced

>>78572862
what if youre 20 and cant grow a beard and cant get a tan

>>78572732
That one from Barcelona? What a silly sod.

>285 posts
why isn't there a commie thread yet

>>78572895
becuase they're trains

Will I find happiness if I move to Bristol?

>>78572919

>>78572953
>>78572953
>>78572953

NEW

>>78572871
sophistrate in my direction irl and you get your windpipe crushed

watching the eclipse lads
the moon's about 1/3rd over the sun x

Will I find a bf if I move to Brighton?

got a lifetime ban from the city ground for singing the 'you're just a small town in baghdad' chant when we last played Leicester

>>78572964
no it's not

>>78572943
m8 i dont know anything about you. how can I possibly make a judgment from that post

>>78572753
YUCK

Think i might be bisexual, but i'm not sure
I'm not attracted to masculine men, but i'd love to suck a femboys dick and i've only wanked to gay porn like 4 times.

I think i'm straight, but i don't feel like i can call myself straight anymore after accepting the fact that i find some men attractive. I'd choose to fuck a woman over a man 99% of the time, but i'm not opposed to it.

Opinions? Feels weird questioning my sexuality, i always thought i was straight.

>>78572829
based portsmouth

>>78572823
enjoy being priced out of there in a couple of years

>>78572753
grim

>>78572995
Ok sorry

>>78572973
>'you're just a small town in baghdad'

what does that even mean?
baghdad isn't a country its a city. Do towns now reside within cities?

brainlet chanting

>>78572852
scum

>>78572973
really

>>78572999
>>78573031
abstruse pair of posts

DO NOT move to bristol

>>78573072
not really

>>78573073
why

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>>78573089
she's as cute as 10 buttons

>>78573108
expensive and full of wankers

t. used to live there

>>78573073
Can't wait to move from London to Bristol and price low-earning runts like you out of affordable accommodation

>>78573117
I walked past her last year at a party shes pretty small

>>78573027
will have a house of my own in 6 months or so

>>78573108
Hippies and metropolitan liberals, unless you like that sort of thing

>>78573173
even cuter

>>78573135
>>78573180
went to see the suspension bridge last year seemed a pretty nice city

>>78573198
I was going to say hello but I decided against it

>>78573198
nonce

>>78573228
was it some vidya related thing

>>78572953
>>78572953
>>78572953

move

>>78572953
>>78572953
>>78572953

>>78572905
Some people are not genetically predisposed for a lot of facial hair. Dunno about tanning.

>>78573251
Yeh it was insomnia 58 pub quiz party

>>78573213
Oh yeah, I hear it looks very nice. Just the people in it.