/brit/

cara

Gay and early edition.

>>78502966
FOY

>>78502966
wouldn't mind copping that hair actually, except I could actually pull it off and not look like a little gay twat

nigger

might do a suicide

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I can hear gunshots in the distance

*scissors butthole*

>>78503041
Ulster?

>hear gunshots while talking on the phone with mom
>practically have to beg her to pick up my Thai order
Bitch

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ludders

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WHY DO THE YANKS GET AN ECLIPSE BUT NOT US?!? ITS NOT FAIR

a bhuachaillí

>>78500141
>>78500141
>>78500141

been feeling melancholy recently lads.

Listened to some Hans Zimmer on the commute, was a bizarre experience

listened to the Planet Earth II, Interstellar and Dunkirk soundtracks

wish I was some rich old posh guy in the 60s/70s

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cute american brit poster boyz

>>78503077
ah yes america

>>78503034
I like to listen to this on public commutes and envision war torn streets, fedora, I know

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gfW1bkPI8Kc

>>78503097
nonce

Brucie you old dog

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/5058226/1/Bruce-Plays-His-Cards-Right

>>78503099
nonce

>>78503036
Haha cya

@78503097
This was just as fucking dull and boring when you posted it in the last thread, you attention-seeking drippy cunt.

KYS

>>78503091
we do on Monday

>>78503125
virus

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>>78503110
>and envision war torn streets

So you're just looking out the window at Irish streets then?

>>78503110
>war torn streets in Ireland

Cromwellian.

PLEASE, POST THE LOT

i lost them when my old hard drive conked out DONT KEK ME

Dads drunk again

>>78503193
Pics

when is world war 3 going to start ffs? so bored of life

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feeling very lonely lads

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxP8otDBeAA

GOOD dubstep

>>78503091
It'd be too cloudy and glum to see it there anyway

>>78503193
Pics of his dics?

What I'm about to say might shock you.

I might have got more (You)'s if I posted OC in /brit/, but I value my time more than a few responses and that's why I opted for an desuarchive repost.

That's right, they just let me say that in an ad for desuarchive.

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cute lads with cats

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>wake up at 5am
>take ibuprofen for headache
>charge some cold oats and milk down my gob + a coffee
>get showered and dressed
>walk to station
>commute for 2 hours to work
>sit there and feel like crying
>eat a shit, overpriced lunch (unless I prepare night before)
>clock out at 5
>get into station at 7
>go to gym for 1.5 hours
>get home
>cook dinner
>eat dinner
>if I'm not tired enough, prepare tomorrow's lunch
>prepare stuff for the morning
>pass out in bed

ah yes, this must be that "life" I've heard so much about

>>78503210
corr

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As Bruce Forsyth pulled down the tight, white panties of Debbie McGee he took a sneaky glance at the label in the back. 100% polyester. "Paul, you cheap bastard" he thought to himself, but couldn't resist a cheeky smile "I guess the Wizbit cheques are few and far between these days".

He pushed Debbie's naked buttocks against the pebbledash wall of his Devon cottage and felt them clench - was it with fear or ecstasy? He couldn't tell, but he liked to think it was a little of both.

decided not to go out tonight and im already bored.

>>78503209
wanna cuddle

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>>78503245
Get ye to the bennies

>>78503110
listening to interstellar on the underground looking sad I felt like I was in a film desu

VERY autistic behaviour from me

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>>78503249

Fondling her seemingly eternally pert breasts, Bruce suddenly heard the unmistakable sound of a Hyundai Sonata being driven in second gear, followed by screeching brakes and the sound of a door being slammed. Paul had arrived.

"Good", thought Bruce with a mischievous grin. He glanced at Debbie but she was too lost in her own orgasm to notice the imminent arrival of her husband - so imminent he was sure to catch them both embroiled in the sin of adultery.

Bruce unzipped the fly on his tartan plus fours and threw his flat cap behind him. Gingerly but with some haste he cradled his now throbbing love muscle just in front of the bearded clam of the most famous magician's assistant in the world. "And now for Brucie's bonus" he whispered as he slid his aged pecker deep inside her.

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>>78503245
it's called being a man unfortunately

2mg of xanax currently dissolving in the stomach

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cant fucking stop watching this makes me want to cry

@78503249
@78503288

Ah, so because no one replied to your shit post before you've decided to post its content in the hope people respond?

Fucking cunt, kill yourself

>>78503275
are you qt

Bruce Foreskin lmao

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>>78503288

She could barely let out a moan before Paul came bounding round the corner. He was still in the tuxedo he wore for all of his magic shows - having just been stood up by his life-long assistant and wife whilst filming a gig for Living TV.

His pace quickening, Paul strode towards the two lovers with mad, fiery eyes fixed upon their rhythmic reciprocation - a socket wrench brandished menacingly in his clenched fist.

As he neared the pair his strides turned to a run and as his short, stubby legs moved faster he let out a piercing scream. Raising the wrench above his head he prepared to land what he intended to be a fatal blow to the temple of the man who had his penis inside his woman.

Swift like a well-oiled mechanism, Bruce swivelled his body round and caught Paul's arm mid-swing. He pushed back against the rampaging midget madman and tussled with him as though they were two boys scrapping in a playground - his purple headed warrior still stood to attention and flapping about like an epileptic sea bass.

>>78503300
no

>>78503294
nonce

Howdy y'all.
>>>/hm/1596573

>>78503254
Wanna get high and play Mario Kart?

>>78503296
why so?

>>78503245
Now imagine adding an annoying wife and kids to that equation
It could be worse

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>>78503318

With a single, smooth motion Bruce pulled out the machete he had concealed in the back of his trousers and brought the knife across the throat of Paul, knocking him to the ground. He held the knife there for a few moments then looked him straight in the eye and whispered "you'll like this..." before slitting his throat.

As Paul lay bleeding, the life ebbing away from him he turned his head towards Debbie who had begun scrambling for her cheap underwear. As he draw his final breath he mouthed to her "not a lot...", before slipping away into the next world.

Calmly Bruce was wiping the blood from his blade on the cuffs of his Yves Saint Laurent shirt. He casually turned back towards the horrified Debbie. She was quivering against the wall trying not to pass out from fear. A glance towards the open gate gave her thoughts away.

>>78503331
>fake ring
Dropped straight in the rubbish bin

>>78503245
does all of this serve a purpose?

>>78503336
yeh but not with you

>>78503356
dangerous and down right stupid

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Where are those two Irish boys from last night? Wouldn't mind having a bit of a taste of them frankly

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCnGD6xv5ik

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>>78503288
>"And now for Brucie's bonus"

>>78503338
shes so gorgeous x

>>78503345
Want to run my balls over that arse and get the hairs caught in the netting

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KOLM TRIIPU :ddddDDD

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>>78503356


"I know what you're thinking Debbie" said Bruce, "you're wondering if you can run faster when scared than I can when horny. I think we both know the answer to that, don't make me put it to the test".

He took her firmly by the wrist, and knelt down in front of her. Before she had a chance to react he started to massage her gushing vagina with his giant, pointy chin. All thoughts of the previous few minutes left her as they melted away into pure sexual bliss. That chin was as thick as the girthiest penis and as hard as a marble dildo.

>>78503372
Wow rude

>>78503390
nah

>>78503390
she's average mate

strengthening the posterior chain

Is there anything worse than people on /brit/ pretending they're benders and spamming gay shit?

>>78503235
Looks like me with dark hair desu

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>>78503370
I wish someone would answer that question for me

>>78503345
CORR is that are rose

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>>78503329
adore american men
simples

>>78503426
>pretending

Ironic gay roleplaying is a /brit/ institution.

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>>78503407

"I... I can't hold it in any more!" she screamed and then squirted all over Bruce's face. He stood up, vaginal juices dropping from his chin into a puddle between his tap shoes. "That's my girl" he hissed through clenched teeth.

With that he strode to the drystone wall at the foot of his garden and, silhouetted against the setting sun, bent one knee, flexed his arm and put his clenched fist to his head.

Fin.

>>78503426
come over and I'll show you something more gay xx

>>78503370
Survival in modern society

>>78503417
>>78503414
hello nigger

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Hands down one of the greatest fucking films I have ever watched. Well deserved of its top place in rankings unlike dogshit reddit films like Pulp Fiction or 2001.

>>78503470
ugly bastard

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tfw no gf

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simply cannot stop listening to gay top 40 pop shite

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>"However, we can't lose sight of the fact that we're somehow allowing right wing ideology and extremism back into our political systems."

>>78503470
munter

>>78503472
yeah it's fucking brilliant ain't it

didn't really like the ending iih

>>78503430
so you're working to be able to continue working, pay bills, food, etc
don't have a lfie, just a job

>>78503505
>>78503479
shut ya shit ya fucking tit

>>78503472
Prisoners is Reddit though.

And it is shit.

>>78503472
might give it a look

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back from the shops
decided against the beer and got a bottle of rum instead
I will drink it all tonight while listening to tunes and posting on /brit/

>2 minute film trailer basically shows you everything interesting in the film leaving there no point to go and see it

>>78503417
Average gf is better than no gf

>>78503518
Fucking amazing lad. Plays with your emotions like no other. Cliffhanger was fucking cheap, poor writing

>>>/hm/1596448
hnngh

>>78503534
shes easy on the eyes but nothing special mate

>>78503385
stop posting yank shit, enjoy these

Troubles:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-8yx5K_LCo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6OqhIB5kMo

War of independence:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6K1ECpdPws

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TKKSh0IHEo

>>78503541
Good lad

how do i skip to the last page when searching for things on the archive?

>>78503518
>yeah it's fucking brilliant ain't it
not really. i was joking to see which plebs would respond agreeing with my statement

the homosexual yank is here

>>78503559
fuck off to /eire/ with this shite mate

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>>78503548
EEEERG ERRRGHHH EEEERGGHH

>>78503558
you're really pissing me off now

>>78503472
>2001

That was such a disappointment when I watched it the other month for the first time. The scenes were too long and the ending was 2deep4u.

Really ahead of it's time but it was still boring.

What an amazing film. Haven't felt that fucking tense in years.

>>78503494
Democracy is a bit of a wash

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Who /drinking/ here? Name thy poison

Pilger Paderborner here.

>>78503554
prefer really nice bums
http://i.4cdn.org/hm/1502988682005.webm

>>78503541
Rum? You cheeky charlie.

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>>78503530

>>78503588
oh ye wind yer neck in pal

>>78503559
Where's your mate?

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>The scenes were too long and the ending was 2deep4u.

>>78503594
And those shots of the channel. Took me right back to granddad's war stories

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the yanks been doing this a long time. autistic cunt.

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>>78503576
Haha rekt

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>When your country is so irrelevant that all your "culture" consists of you spelling things wrong and writing how you talk.

>>78503553
so much mate, when the lad is in the shower it proper unnerved me

>>78503634
meet is round the back of B&M's if you want to become a spastic mate x

>>78503574
You can't, you've got to fuck about with the page number in the URL then once you've got a good approximation you spam "Next" like a runt

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ENNbC_UmEM

midrange

>>78503687
yea well maybe i do see you in 10 x

>>78503648
well maybe if you fucking answered me

flat earth is real

>>78503518

this isn't me
>>78503576

*does a jig*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4B1kyHb4Lc

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>>78503617
unfortunately drank a bottle of white wine and 4 beers earlier, no money for more x

>>78503518
lol got you hook line and sinker.

how much of a pleb are you to think prisoners is good? it's a boring by the numbers load of shit

>>78503618
Do gays get jealous that boys will have never bums as big and shapely as girl's?

fun fact: scotland invented the raincoat

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sum propa choons on dis ting

When was the last time you did a suicide

was there a worse feeling as a kid when your mum came back from blockbusters with the wrong video you requested? dont think so

>>78503472
complains about "reddit" posts a film by reddit king villenueve. Honestly don't understand how anyone can have such bad taste as to think this is better than 2001 let alone stuff like kenji mizoguchi or actual good directors.

>>78503726
>white whine

What possessed thee?

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On the fourth of July eighteen hundred and six
We set sail from the sweet cove of Cork
We were sailing away with a cargo of bricks
For the grand city hall in New York
'Twas a wonderful craft, she was rigged fore-and-aft
And oh, how the wild winds drove her.
She'd got several blasts, she'd twenty-seven masts
And we called her the Irish Rover.

We had one million bales of the best Sligo rags
We had two million barrels of stones
We had three million sides of old blind horses hides,
We had four million barrels of bones.
We had five million hogs, we had six million dogs,
Seven million barrels of porter.
We had eight million bails of old nanny goats' tails,
In the hold of the Irish Rover.

>>78503786
you just got trolled

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xtc

simply shannot be engaging with those two horrible TROLLS saying prisoners is shit. Girl power over horrid boys xo

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>>78503625

>>78503617
There's a whiskey tasting in town I think I'll go to in a bit

hate my life and everyone in it

>>78503801
>whine

>>78503677
Antifa make me laugh desu

>>78503786
you fell for my bait. prisoners is shit. see>>78503576

>>78503767
are you joking?
that's more 'shapely' than any woman's fat bum, regardless of size
they are distinctly different, which is i like them

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>>78503659

>>78503833
You know what I meant.

>>78503815
psilacetin

2001 and Big Lebowski have to be one of the worst films I've ever watched

Along with Pulp Fiction, taxi driver and a whole lot of others

Realised they only achieved their rating due to the huge horrid yank reddit audience

i'm so london i'm so south

fun fact: scotland invented the steam engine, the bicycle, the telephone, the television, discovered penicillin and insulin.

why doesn't india have a general?

going to build a joint

I'm going to be trained for management from October

Rising up the corporate ladder, lads. Far bigger workload for a slight pay increase

>>78503245
You don't need to go the gym every day.

Get a job nearer to home too m8

>>78503894
Pics

>>78503801
what's wrong with white wine?
gets the buzz going, didnt feel like red

>>78503892
it was filled with poo so janny cleaned it up haha

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Of all the money that e'er I had
I've spent it in good company
And all the harm that e'er I've done
Alas it was to none but me
And all I've done for want of wit
To memory now I can't recall
So fill to me the parting glass
Good night and joy be with you all

Of all the comrades that e'er I had
They are sorry for my going away
And all the sweethearts that e'er I had
They would wish me one more day to stay
But since it falls unto my lot
That I should rise and you should not
I'll gently rise and I'll softly call
Good night and joy be with you all

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XALVTzMOeQ

hm

EVERYTHING I DON'T LIKE IS REDDIT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

>>78503894
Gonna have to phone this one in

fun fact: scotland invented the bank of england and bank of france

>>78503909
Not really as drinkable as reds imo.

Also get the feeling that they're a bit feminine.

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>>78503858

>>78503881
Big Lebowski was another shit film.

All these 'classics' and 'cult movies' are rubbish. Critics are idiots.

>>78503847
It's not the finding men attractive part about being gay I don't get, it's the not finding women attractive part.

>>78503925
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oZ8-ETHE9AI

MY NAME IS TRAVIS, I AM THE MOONSTAR

>>78503924
prefer health to the company desu

>>78503917
Almost every empire in Europe was at war with our tiny island but Americans act like they did all the work

canne havane canny dain wee x

>>78503815
very under-appreciated band
andy partridge is the thinking man's paul mccartney

>>78503617
Weird watermelon cocktail with rum my grandmother made me

>>78503640
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1dOreGykiM

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>>78503932

>>78503971
Only about 85%

>>78504007
moot was a fucking redditor

>>78503967
travis is fucking stacked. he'd heem the fuck out of connor mcgregor.

>>78503900
I do a 6 day PPL split

easier said than done mate,

>>78504019
looks so awkward

>>78504019
>white ppl

>>78504019
don't understand the appeal, she looks like a librarian

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>>78504042
He's got the height advantage

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>>78503924
almost cried when that came on at the end of Assassin's Creed Black Flag

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBKJv0eD-yQ

>>78503938
Don't forget the US Navy

>>78504022
He was also correct

>>78503881
honestly agree with this, big lebowski was pretty funny but nothing special, pulp fiction was alright I guess, but 2001 was a literally snorefest, how the FUCK is it rated so high

need the succ

>>78504047
>clinically insane 'Merican of celtic descent. GOD SAVE THE KING ACROSS THE WATER! Oh wait.....I forgot he's dead. Never mind.

christ what a mistake

We switched timelines in 2007.

>>78504019
Remember when she was just a humble folk songstress before the kikes got hold of her and made her do all this nigga pop shit

so here we are...............all the lads.....

cannot IMAGINE sharing a house lads, I gas my room out on a regular basis with RANCID farts, should probably get my digestive system checked out but cba tbqh haha xx

>>78504084
When I listen to this I feel a sense of great burning national pride, when you do you relate it to some fucking videogame

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5jv13oakdE

superior version, this song requires a strong male lead

2001 is pretentious bollocks for londoners

>>78504145
fuck off

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>waits a year before replying to himself

>>78504104
Because you're a pleb who likes explosions and loud noises.

Stick to capeshit, you fucking brainlet

>>78503960
you dont have to get it, just like women liking men simples

>>78504156
looool wind your neck in you absolute wetter

>46 posters
its 47 now, whats up faggots :P

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>tfw it rapidly becomes clear that you like her more than she likes you
I wish I could just play it cool

Why is Irish mythology and folk culture so superior?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JBavwwWCdfY

alri lad

how the fuck do Irishmen feel national pride.

HATE the irish

>>78504166
please stop you're making me cringe

>>78504145
haha yes
what we all up to this evening then lados?!

stop talking about the irish in this british thread

just injected 3 iowaskas and smoked 2 grams of xerox

>>78504204
Wh-.. What are /you/ doing here? Mummy! Mummy! There's a northerner in the house!

>>78504213
proudest race in the world, rightly so

>>78504202
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ubdy19ZIUH4

>>78504173
i know you're baiting me but how the FUCK is 40 minutes of monkeys supposed to keep me entertained?

It's like modern art where you guys jack off over nothing but pretend it's something and everyone else just "doesn't get it"

2/3 through the year and only about 3 decent gimmicks have surfaced in the past eight months

>>78504227
What's the difference between the two?

>>78504268
let's see what you got then

>>78504270
the irish were considered non-white

>>78504270
None but I wish they'd fuck off.

Awful people.

>>78504265
>jack off
FOY

>>78504268
I'm quite fond of the new china gimmick tbqh, lots of good discussions

>>78504246
>iowaskas
that sounds like a couples name for two certain states

ghosted by yet another girl, being ugly sucks lads

>>78504268
gimmicks are often forced and a bit cringe mate much prefer the ones that last a day or two x

what the fuck does turned up mean?

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>>78504202
Love this kino (no nonce)

>>78504326
being present?

me n my broskis boutta get turnt the fuck UP

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Lei Feng was a pretty handsome lad tbqh(no homo, naturally)

looking for the lid to my pan x

happening in failsworth

put on BBC one

This tune is dedicated to the German

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1dOreGykiM

stole some lad's pan lid

>>78504360
looks like an alien in a wig, like all of them do

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>in town earlier getting a boots meal deal
>girl next to me doing the same
>she turns and does a double take
>says "oh my god Anon, i remember you from school"
>"there was that big thing about you putting a can of deodorant up your bum on film haha"
>"do you ever think about it?"

Fuck sake.

>>78504360
shut up leftypol twat

>>78504396
Sell it back to him for double what he paid

>>78504360
you know, you can say someone is handsome without being homophobic and homosexual

>>78504394
*sends you weaponry and ammunition*

>>78504388
is this some sort of an african mating ritual

i feel like this isnt just one of those ghetto things but some weird fertility tradition carried over from west africa like voodoo

>>78504326
Turning up a glass of wine.

stole a pan from lidl

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>>78504388

>>78504427
gay? who said anything about gay? I'm not gay you fucking bender fuck off

>>78504452
me when she comes home from work all sad and world-weary and starts walking round the kitchen in her tights

>>78504452
mate tagged me in this on facebook some time ago

the caption read: "when she cooks, cleans and calls you papi"

>>78504468
Very right wing for an Irishman.

Textbook says Cromwell did nothing wrong

*injects self with aids blood*
finally knocked up lol x

miss being 14 and watching ghosthunting programmes

it's just not the same when you know it's bollocks

>meal deal

alri deano

>>78504497
same but with conspiracy theory stuff

>>78504440
daggering, its a jamican thing

>>78504407
>you putting a can of deodorant up your bum on film haha"
post video

The misses says Cromwell did nothing wrong

post absolute bangers lads!!! [spoiler]and laddettes ;)[/spoiler]

https://youtu.be/WsCVQzXybKE

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eating some food lads

>>78504492
Most Irishmen are right wing and quite racist but will always be on the polar opposite of the British so alot are socialist

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>christmas morning as a kid

miss these times, WITHOUT DOUBT the COMFIEST time in existence

>>78504452
The 2-repeat allele of the MAOA gene confers an increased risk for shooting and stabbing behaviors.

dont ever dare post a new ive got my old one lined up

bruce foreskin lmao

>>78504407
POOEY

this is post

>>78504529
ahh my suspicion was correct

>>78504535
perfectly justified

well fine if youre not gonna post
>>78503038
>>78503038

Another successful launch by our boys at NASA. Your turn, mates.

Shag the hag.

>>78504537
Bugger off, wog.

>>78504547
it was before my dad killed himself

now all I can look forward to is not being a shitty dad for my kids

>>78504585
t. the knife

>>78504544
wat food

Need a ghoulish wife

>>78504635
pizza lol

>>78504635
>wat
Haven't heard that one in a bit.

considering becoming a locksmith, I hear it really opens doors for you

>>78504707
bare wanna take a shit in his back garden or sumat lol

>>78503038
>>78503038
>>78503038

move

>>78503038
>>78503038
>>78503038

>>78504407
>boots meal deal
cringe

>>78504482
doxxed la