/brit/

first

I'M A PICKLE TAHAHEHEHE

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Hare Krishna Hare Krishna
Krishna Krishna Hare Hare
Hare Rama Hare Rama
Rama Rama Hare Hare

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>tfw no gf

What podcasts do we listen to?

Emily off emmerdale
FUCKING HELL

china will be in ruins in 50 years

>>78165377
men in blazers

>>78165377
audiobook versions of platonic dialogues 2bh :(

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What is /brit/s opinion on the resurgence of the Royal Navy?

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The #1 risk factor for becoming a mass shooter in the USA is being a male virgin in your 20s

>>78165391
Meh I stopped to listening to them and the football weekly at the same time

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>china will be in ruins in 50 years

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>>78165381
wanna bet on that?

>>78165409
not interested

>>78165419
dat mk ultra stare

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anime

>>78165409

waste of money we should have given the money to africa

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>>78165380
>not priya
cmon son step it up

>>78165235
second chinese revolution when
https://www.ft.com/content/63a5a9b2-85cd-11e6-8897-2359a58ac7a5

>>78165452
Greater London

>>78165377
listening to kevin smith interview tara strong on his podcast

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmQqshvpX1Y
LOVE numales

>go on date with algerian gf
>propose to go to a cute coffeeshop in the city center
>she says it's too hot and she proposes to go to the swimming pool
>Of an international hotel, located 20km outside the city
>entrance to the swimming pool costs the equivalent of 100€ for 2 people
>ah yes algerian gfs

Just had a chicken burger, chips, fishcake, donner kebab meat. Fat? Na, not me

>>78165299
been there done that
living in a flat is terrible
you have at least 4 neighbours who make lots of noise
it's shite

>>78165452
idk fantano seems rather relaxed

>>78165474
GOOD post

>>78165503
sensitivity to noise is an autistic trait.

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>>78165377
Regularly:

Dan Carlin's Hardcore History
Dan Carlin's Common Sense
The Dick Show
Bill Burr's MMPC
Athetico Mince (new episode up!)
Adam Buxton's podcast
JRE (selected guests)
Nerdist (selected guests)
Richard Herring's Leciester Square Theatre podcast

And occasionally:

Ben Shapiro (Daily Wire)
Frank Skinner on Absolute Radio
Tell 'Em Steve Dave
Nick DiPaolo
Sleepycast
Joey Diaz's Church of What's Happening Now
Marc Maron's WTF (selected guests)
Hollywood Handbook (selected guests)
Doug Stanhope's podcast
Worst Idea of All Time


Have finished (and can recommend):

The Biggest Problem in the Universe
The Adam and Joe Radio Show (both XFM and BBC shows)
Uninformed with Bill Burr and Joe Derosa
What Say You (Impractical Jokers podcast - not officially ended)
Go Bayside
The Ricky Gervais Show on XFM (and BBC?)

>>78165494
sounds familiar

don't you have a beach though?

>>78165367
what's this pic meant to be
dark knight?

stop donating money to africa and instead donate to the north of england
they have roads made of concrete
houses full of damp and mould
no jobs
no infrastructure

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>thinking you need a military in 2017 if you aren't the US, Russia, China, South Korea, or some hellhole in Africa

Made one of those improv fleshlights lads, allow me to report;
>feels decent, not sure it's worth the effort
>do NOT use body lotion as a lube, burns like the sun when you're finished
>most of the guides out there must be made for people with shrimp dicks, couldn't fit in mine without making it bigger
All in all 7/10. Would not recommend if you have any self respect though.

>>78165377
Sargon's This week in stupid
Molyneux
PJW's 'is an idiot' series

Want to play minecraft now but I can't remember fuck all in survival

can't imagine being so retarded that you need to watch a 37 minute about a game of thrones episode
its not hard to understand

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>>thinking you need a military in 2017 if you aren't the US, Russia, China, South Korea, or some hellhole in Africa

Liberal democrats. Led by a bloke that doesn't believe in gay marriage and want to reverse Brexit.

I suggest a new name for them.
The illiberal anti-democrats.

- Dave.

making peppered steak*, tenderstem broccoli, chips, and peppercorn sauce

*quorn

>>78165494
>propose

stop saying this word before I propose to HEEM you

>>78165526
*screams point blank in your face*

Don't like it? Yeah you're autistic you bumder.

>>78165528
I started Hannibal Buress: Handsome Rambler yesterday, it's pretty great

>>78165427

It's already ruins if you visit anything that isn't a first tier city.

>>78165018
>People who defend communism are people who didn't live under communism
Shocker.

Business idea: An app like Deliveroo but for someone in your house to make you something in the kitchen

t. really want a bowl of cheerios but can't be bothered to go downstairs

>>78165531
Yeah we do but it's overcrowded and you need to pay similar prices to get into a private one with less people. I don't like what this country is turning into.

>>78165409
why do we need ships if we have Trident?

Just build more nukes instead

>>78165640
*looks at flag*

ah yes, couldn't POSSIBLY have a biased opinion

>>78165649

You mean a wife?

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found your huse

>>78165605
>>78165631
>>78165640
>>78165644
>>78165650
you are not British.
Get out.

>>78165671
shut up you fucking teenage little emabrassing shit

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Listening to podcasts is pure runt behaviour tb h, just a step up from audiobooks.

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>>78165640

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>>78165535
It's a new internet meme that I created. If you don't get it now, you will soon. Just wait and see. It's all part of my master plan.

making peppered steak

>>78165694
Wow ur cool

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made this gondola

feed back?

>>78165649
I thought people who were too lazy to make cereal were a meme used to scare lazy bachelors. You guys exist?

>>78165694
The queen still head of state in Canada. I can stay here if I so choose.

>>78165526
>sensitivity to noise is an autistic trait.
no
I just like peace and quiet

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If we had a one party state, the party would be working hard for the millennial generation to bring down housing prices and secure a prosperous future

Instead the tories have just paid some runty party £1 billion to do nothing, imagine how many houses could have been built with that money.

so-called """"""democracy"""""" truly is amazing, huh guys

>>78165503
My neighbours are all pretty quiet, I live in a nice area. Living with housemates can be horrific, depending on the people, but the advantages of living alone is worth any amount of noise from neighbouring flats.

I can keep it as clean or messy as I like, without complaints, or being disgusted by other people's shit, and that goes for the kitchen and bathroom as well. Everything is where I left it, including food in the fridge. What goes on the telly, what music is on, all up to me. Nobody is ever using the cooker, toilet or bath, they're free 24/7. Nobody comes in unless I allow it. I decide on the temperature, the volume level, the lighting, the furniture configuration of every room.

If I had to live with someone else, even a "soulmate," I'd probably kill myself.

>>78165650
hate snobs

>>78165694
The conquered should fear the conquerors
>Urbicus may have campaigned against severalBritish tribes(possibly including factions of the northern Brigantes), certainly against the lowland tribes ofScotland; the Votadini and the Selgovae of theScottishBorders region, also the Damnonii of Strathclyde and the Novantae of Dumfries andGalloway

>>78165716
with tenderstem broccoli, chips and peppercorn sauce?

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>gf keeps going on about how clever she is
>is literally retarded, knows absolutely nothing about anything besides celebrities, gossip and makeup

Women are fucking overrated lads.

>>78165745
nah reckon you're actually a bit autistic. a behaviour pattern is already emerging and you've only made like 3 posts about it.

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>>78165694
meet me outside kimberly tesco and make me

s'all this then?

http://i.4cdn.org/sp/1502389263541.webm

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>If we had a one party state, the party would be working hard for the millennial generation to bring down housing prices and secure a prosperous future
>Instead the tories have just paid some runty party £1 billion to do nothing, imagine how many houses could have been built with that money.
>so-called """"""democracy"""""" truly is amazing, huh guys

made this peppered steak with tenderstem broccoli, chips and peppercorn sauce

>>78165816
love lana rhoades

can't imagine dating a stupid slag obsessed with celebrities who babbles on about vapid inane shit all the time

gonna go gym for a heavy set of squats

got haemorrhoids too so my arsehole is going to be dripping bloood by the time im done

the lengths one must go eh.

>>78165863
99% of the female population lad

gonna go gym for a heavy set of squats

The easiest way to become a 'liked' character/trip on this shit website is to have no political opinions, no quarrels with anyone or any type of person and just post women 24/7

love women

>>78165863
literally all girls.

>>78165776
There's an evolutionary advantage to women being dumb as rocks. It's so they relate better to babies and don't get bored playing with them. It's very cute and respectable when you think about it.

gonna go to the sauna for a heavy arse fisting

>>78165863
I am right now.

Really underestimated the power of pussy ngl.

going to the gay bar to serve drinks and get paid

love gondola

Reminder that Hong Kong and Shanghai are rightful British clay.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wv6f3lplUf8

>>78165863
>>78165875
Look for females in the country. They're actually fun to be around most of the time unlike innacity girls.

the algerian is alan

any shia in?

it doesn't matter how much something is regulated if it's the market aspect of that failed then it's still a failure of the market

>>78165886
True.

Problem is the minute you offend one autistic he will make it seem like the whole general hates you.

official list of good things:

communism
slags
football
cats
baneposting
apu

>>78165942
gay

>>78165959

fuck off leftypol

>>78165946
they say i'm not a muslim

all the successes of capitalism are down to government expenditure.

all the failures of communism are down to authoritarianism

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>>78165946

>>78165959
fuck off leftypol

>>78165945
'bviously

official list of good things:

communism
slags
football
cats
baneposting
apu

Don't need a girlfriend. Got porn, and can do a wank whenever I want. Simple as.

>>78165937
the literal end of the british empire hahaha

Any webms of girls pissing lads?

>>78165965
Your dolphins were having a gay orgy last time I checked, so that's pretty rich coming from you.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4755794/Gay-dolphins-spotted-coast-Australia.html

some of the women at work talk about their kids and NOTHING else

>>78164793
Not fat or really lean, maybe like 13-15% bf although I couldn't say exactly. Helps me get in my daily calories +protein

List of good things

Communism
Labour
Corbyn
Islam
The Quran
Minorities & PoC (People of colour)

*goes on stage to do a set*
tinder AMIRIGHTGUYS LOLOLOL
*crowd goes nuts*

drinking a PINT

>>78166024
find fannies quite fascinating 2bh

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>>78166012
but the vagina feels so good

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>>78165975
>>78166000

got a 3L bottle of frosty jacks

>>78165959
He does the Brody list

>>78166027
fuck off

>>78166054
tfw wanked my willy numb these past few years and feel virtually no sensation whilst fugging a vag (besides the initial push in)

got a stiffy at work today


t. primary school teacher

List of good things

Pints
Slags
Big dick trannies
Sisters wet knickers
Chinky takeaway

>>78166077
wanker

>>78166062
I thought you Aussies were the kings of banter. You're pretty bad at it tbqh.

Wish I had a sister to sniff her knickers

any actual women here?

>>78166099
fuck off

ngl algeria seems like a shit-hole. not surprised alan left.

>>78166024
I'm more into girls who have milk coming out of their tits. Find that fascinating. Would love to meet one irl. This shit looks delicious and so primally hot.

>>78166097
>tube


FOY

>>78166101
gets old quick

plus mine caught me once

LOVE full english breakfasts
LOVE pints
LOVE big sloppy curries

LOVE massive hangover curry poos that stink awful because of the mixture of eggs, high protein food such as sausages, oily bread and of course garlicy/oniony curries
DON'T MIND gastric problems

It Ain't Rocket Science Lads

who is Alan Left ?

>>78166117
we dont call it the tube

paki gf's look nice but they look like they smell

>>78166033
It's a pretty great achievement, securing a place in the world for the continued existence of your bloodline. I get that. But what's the end game? We can't be making people just for the sake of it, life for life's sake. There must be some greater spiritual or existential goal that Humanity is working towards, but what?

I bet the illuminati know what is really, profoundly important in this world, and they're not telling us what it is and instead fobbing us all off with religions that enslave, and nihilism that demoralises, all so they can get more of what actually matters, whatever that is.

>>78166144
just some balding manlet. a nobody really.

>>78166024
grab it while it's hot

>>78166156
fuck off

how to lifeguards swim with throbbing erections all the time?

>>78166172
>No benis

>>78166114
Boring. Try making a dig at Canadian politics or something. Politics are good for bantz.

whys london so fucking pengggg

http://londonist.com/london/art-and-photography/london-s-most-beautiful-houses

>>78166156
it's an acquired taste

>>78166115
It's alright tbqh and you would probably enjoy it. My little brother has a brit friend who married a rich algerian girl and settled here. Literally looks like drano. We played football the other day and he said that he likes the freedom he has over the uk. It makes sense but it's hard to explain as on paper there are less freedoms here.

>>78166186
fuck off

>>78166186
fuck off

How come Alan's back in algeria?

>>78166224
fuck off

What the hell does 'peng' mean? Some retarded rorke word?

>>78166158
>securing a place in the world for the continued existence of your bloodline
people aren't motivated like this. explain the benefit of having descendants to a formerly existing person . there is none.

really finding that certain genre of music massages my neuronicles and lubricates my third eye

>>78166213
8/10

>>78166238
fuck off

>>78166238

Was chav slang for sexy/hot back in the day.

>>78166172
dont like it when they pretend to be animals

prefer the primate squating position for pissing girls

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>>78166185
bender

>>78166202
its undoubtedly a shit-hole. a camel-faced goat shagger such as yourself wont be convincing me any time soon.

>>78166172
fine with seeing pee in hentai but seeing actual piss is fucking disgusting

>>78166254
fuck off

>>78166290
wow it flows like a waterfall . what a mess.

the girls in my porns have a more direct stream. why don't more girls learn to pull back their labia

Managed to shag a paki once. She was hot as fuck in every department except she had a hairy bumhole

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Hare Krishna Hare Krishna
Krishna Krishna Hare Hare
Hare Rama Hare Rama
Rama Rama Hare Hare

>>78166202
>it's hard to explain
he means theres less policing, regulations etc

everybody fuck off

>>78166329
so just she was hot as fuck in every department

dont think alan has any friends irl. anyone else get that feeling from his long boring rambling posts?

>>78166298
Well I have seen both the UK and Algeria and I stand by what I wrote sweety. And I gave you the first hands account of that brit kid. Insulting me won't change anything.

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>>78166282
but *spoiler*they are</spoils>

>>78166334
jai shree krishna, jai govinda

https://youtu.be/9QZOHzWLF9w

Sikhs are bro tier

nepalese national anthem is a fucking tune and a half

>>78166393
obviously mean *other* animals, you mongoloid

Canada's minister of defense is a Sikh. Gives me hope for fighting the growing Islamic horde.

why does he call escorts his gfs? weird as fuck

>tfw no gf just fucktoys

>>78166446
wow, couldn't have guessed that

i have literally never had sex

just paid nearly £500 for a hardware repair

i too am a virgin

most kino anthems i've heard thus far in life:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3Ynt9HVMQM
^ this one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVdJRKfrTUA
^ this one

>>78166389
Yeah past thirty you don't really have friends, just gfs and people from your 20s whom you say we should see each other more ahen you meet but you can't really be fucked. I like it tbqh. Can't stand bro energy and I kinda forgot how to do it.

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>tfw no chinky gf fucktoy

wait the algerian is the algerian?

>>78166448
Sikh's incorporate elements of islam into their religion. literally our best solution for confronting islamism from a theological perspective, the only way to end it once and for all.

i have literally never sucked a willy

>>78166448
alri canuckjeet

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Arse on this girl I matched with

>>78166499

imagine the myanmar one sounds great as government soldiers genocide entire villages

>>78166502
>Yeah past thirty you don't really have friends
not everyone is a loser like you, baldy.

>>78166242
When you look at life from a certain perspective, it's hard to come to terms with the idea of eventually ceasing to exist. At least with children, you know that when you die there will be something of you remaining in this world, people remembering you, evidence that you lived, some sort of legacy. To a nihilist, that seems pointless, but to someone who sees inherent value in human life, it's a way of keeping their flame alive.

Obviously those women probably aren't reasoning like that, they're fixated on their children because natural selection removed any people that didn't have genes that make them care greatly about their offspring. But when you look at it objectively, why continue to breed and persevere with human life? There must be a bigger picture with a purpose behind it all, and it's hard to imagine nobody has objectively found that yet.

>>78166564
post more arse

i have sucked a willy

>>78166518
They're basically a branch of Islam that broke off when Muhammed started muddying the waters, right? Either way, I like them even though I disagree with them from a theological point of view.

>>78166564
poo

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>>78166450
Literally received six "I miss you texts" from six different gfs back in bagnkok since I landed here. Really warms the heart ngl.

Eating a cheese and bean pasty and a can of Pepsi Max and a cup of tea

i've tongued a lads bumhole

>>78166518
Can't tell if Brody or not

>>78166606
no sikhs are not muslims. they don't have much to do with muslims, besides saying there is one god.

66666

lads I have to do my fantasy prem team by tonight for the league at work but still can't think of an appropriate name

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>>78166615

just found out Alicia lemke died in 2015. loved her voice. always wonder why she didn't release anything further

>>78166666
suck a willy

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>>78166666

>>78166666
need your cock in my mouth

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>>78166587
She has a slim waist

>>78166666
YAAAAAAASSSSSS

>>78166710
ed

had to stop myself getting shitty at a work colleague earlier.

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Cute red dress girl

>>78166732
>>78166733
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgXUeRbel3c

>>78166765
she looks 31.

>>78166705
very nice

zzz this girls giving me the run-around lads

said 7pm earlier, now 8.30

>Trains in China operate at a 97% on-time rate
>China has laid the equivalent of the London Underground in rail track every 3 years for 12 years

>Meanwhile, my train to work is delayed EVERY MORNING

????

Alri going to lift and then acquire algerian gfs on tinder. Have a pleasant virtual exchange of viewpoints lads.

>>78166787
still beautiful
looks too clean and nice
seems dishonest

>>78166733
Progress so far:

Computer chair is so squeaky. Every bit of it makes noise when I lean back. Bit disconcerting 2bh.

>>78166803
Yes, capitalist industrialisation and modernisation is a wonderful thing

>>78166800
guess she decided to do a 2nd round with chad

insecure nonce twat

>>78166821
ok detective

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>>78166821
Her profile is odd

All of her photos she's on her own, like her mum's taken them. That could be a good thing though in a way.

>>78166871
b-but I am Chad

how do leftists expect to end sexism, racism and other -isms by supporting mass immigration from countries that are extremely sexist, racist and other -ists.

doesn't seem to add up.

>>78166733
>tfw declaring your goals publicly in grafitti takes you further away from achieving them

business idea: livestream the two frenchbois nude wrestling in a mud pit

>>78166899
actually adorable

just cleared a large backlog if you know what I mean

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBCbPzl0LrQ

NEED an obedient 50s ASMR gf

>>78165381
probably not. they'll have slower growth, but they're not going to collapse.

I want to be american
i want to be american

I want to be fucking american REEEE I WANT TO BE A YANK

starting to think alan is kuffar

>>78166867
If capitalism is so good why are british and yank trains so shitty

just took a large shit if you know what I mean

>>78166942
that's how they get you

dad the heathen's getting away

>ASMR

the virgin hobby

>>78166967
They aren't all shitty. Our train franchises have monopolies on each region of the country allowing them to charge what they want. They're also run by foreign nations who do not care about reinvesting into UK railways

>>78167022
>hobby
ummm

>most of the asmr enthusiasts are right wing
rorkes btfo!

>>78166962
apply for your green card then

what should i wank to

never ever had a problem with trains in this country
never had anything cancelled or delayed, never had a crowded train

bit expensive thats it

>>78167030
woah... so this is the power of capitalism...

spend far too much time in my room, alone, on my pc. really isnt healthy.

but as soon as i force myself into social situations i hate it and want to go home.

fuck my life.

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>>78166942
Might actually message her even though I live in a different city and I'm just here for the weekend. If her profile is legit I get the impression that she's the kins of girl who would actually give a ldr a go if she thinks I'm valuable enough

>>78167068
t. has a car

>>78167102
t. doesn't have a car

>>78167068
This desu, people do moan a lot

we actually have the 2nd most puntual trains in the EU, and the 2nd highest customer satisfaction

Source: European Commission

That said, my daily commute costs £350/month so fuck UK trains

>>78167030
>Our train franchises have monopolies on each region of the country
I can get Southern, Great Western, South West, Thameslink and Gatwick Express from a 20 mile strip of the south coast.

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>>78167046

>>78167120
i do have a car :(

When someone tells me "they live in London", I immediately assume they have a green license, and live in a house with 6 roommates which they pay extortionate rent for

Seems like I'm right about 99% of the time too

>>78167117

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljx6BgSq1QA

>>78167117
Ronald Glorp is on fucking suicidewatch

ought to be more high speed rail

getting slightly more depressed with each passing year. going to kill myself at 40 if it continues and im still single at that point.

>>78167132
>rorkes and commies think their irrational hatreds of groups supposedly different to them are "serious convictions" or "beliefs"
kek

>>78167132
why are you answering me with this you wool

business idea: cover every square inch of the british isles in high speed railway track

>>78167117
I actually like that rooster as well.

>>78167096
gl with it, hope she's as nice as she seems

>>78167190
take a fucking guess you pillock

business idea: 70 million single-person trains.

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>>78166911
Ending racism, sexism etc are just the leftist's stated goals. Those are just their excuses to wage war on those they see as strong and powerful. Their inferiority complexes make them hate the West, the white man, the wealthy. They can't identify with strength, so they hate (and loudly criticise) anything that they perceive as strong. They profoundly identify as perpetual victims, so they identify with (and raise up) those they see as perpetual victims, as inferior.

Their sanctimony is no more than a moral rationalisation of their deep, violent hostility directed towards clearly innocent targets.

>>78167117
based

know for a fact leftists are fuming at this post

can't wait for the yanks to be evaporated in a nuclear holocaust

>>78167161
I live in a 2 bed flat on my own in zone 1

>>78167243
>>78167243
>>78167243

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interesting

Wow, 272 posts. Surprised nobody has linked to a new thread yet.

>>78167183
>exercise/gym (good physique)
>hobbies
>dress well
>actually try to interact with females

if you don't do those, you've no right to complain

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>he described his adolescence as "not particularly conventional", and said that he exercised for three hours each day and drank very little alcohol.[28]
>three hours each day
>looks like a skinny fat hipstr
Hmm ah yes

>>78167263
>>78167263
>>78167263
NEW

>>78167263
>>78167263
>>78167263
NEW

>>78167244
im not a centrist?

oh i see you meant the creators

*commits bukkake*

>>78167276
i do all those things and feel the same way.

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the fucking italians have high speed rail and we don't

>>78167275
Oh, there we go. right on schedule. Great work, /brit/.

>>78167284
no
what? you've gone and confuzzled me now
the pic was a response from me

>>78167243

>>78167340
man what the fuck are you even rambling about you lunatic?

>>78167370
here babe i'll walk you through it
>you made a comment about asmr enthusiasts
>i happen to be of such, but do not consider myself a rorke
>for this reason i included the jpeg i responded with to indicate so
can't fathom how something so simple was misunderstood

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>>78167164
Yes, I certainly got that from his Tweet

>>78167215
Conspiracy theory: Thomas the tank engine is a dystopian future where most humans have been mutated into trains to justify turning the entirety of the British isles into railroads.

>>78167590
More of a fan theory than a conspiracy theory.

>>78167661
Ahahaha, you're a funny guy. A funny guy.

>>78167717
Prove it.

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>>78167745

Fxck brit

gayboys where are you?