/brit/

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>>77344468
good edition

Don't like girls

just bought a bottle of Heinz garlic mayo but I think I've been sold one with a hair trigger

the gentlest of pushes has sent the contents of the bottle all over my pizza!

Seriously the smell of my bell is utterly intoxicating. Wish you could all have a sniff.

>>77344556
>putting sauce on a pizza

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Also kpop

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>>77344468
>>77344523

>>77344608
>gif
fuck off

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>>77344610
YOU RIKE?

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>>77344468
>>77344523
not bad

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>>77344620

Would you prefer jpeg xxx

>>77344468
Google literally just calls her "Iraqi girl". Wtf?

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>>77344629
yay

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Really makes you think

>>77344602
I do what I fuckin want son

>>77344690
GIVE GARY LINEKER'S WAGES TO THE SOLDIERS

>>77344690
funny how all these lefties screeching about nurses and teachers pay are the ones defending bbc wanker's massive salaries

>>77344716
Even Britain has magh*bis?

>>77344690
he doesn't get money for that you stupid fuck
I don't get paid for thinking he's a racist. In fact, I don't get paid at all

Might kill baby Charlie myself.

>>77344409
>>77344409
>>77344409

WE'RE ALL IN HERE

>>77344409
>>77344409
>>77344409

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I love gymnast boys me

>>77344753
>literal autism

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I have never touched a breast

>>77344807
it's good you should try it

>>77344807
Yeah I don't struggle to believe that

>>77344758
fuck off paki bastard

so about this grenfell tower business

>>77344833
FUCK OFF thread splitting newrunt

>>77344857
FUCK OFF no subject newrunt

>>77344857
>20 posts

um no sweaty x

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>tfw TV licence fags won't fuck off

I refuse to pay for useless shit

hey, netflix have made a tv show about you lot

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieHh4U-QYwU

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>>77344671
i don't think that's her actual name

>>77344674

https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=97034749
howling, which one of you is this?

>>77344866
pahahahahaha btfo

stupid paki cunt

>>77344903
if I wanted to browse /tv/ I would do it myself mate

>>77344906
what

>>77344884
i won't pay it either. got another threatening letter yesterday too

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top kek

boogies wife is leaving him

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https://twitter.com/yrfatfriend/status/887011229180583938

>>77344903
seek psychological help

>>77344943
how did a man as big as him get married in the first place

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>>77344943
https://www.reddit.com/r/boogie2988/comments/6o6p13/boogie_disclosing_your_personal_relationship/

big fan of reddit cucks

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The gfs

>>77344897
You want to kill my dong?

Gary Lineker got paid almost 2 million quid to talk about football sometimes and then spend the rest of his time having a cat fight with Piers Morgan about niggers

Starting to understand why people like communism desu

>gf cheated on me
>told me the next day
>really regrets it, seemingly

should I cuck or not?

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>>77344952
>Today, I was lucky--I boarded & the flight took off without incident
it didn't tilt too far onto her side then

>>77345013
is this a french expression
i'm not aware of it

What's the difference between Slovenia and Slovakia?

>>77345039
cuck what?

>>77345064
Slovakia is shit. Slovenia is not.

>>77345039
mate wut r ye doing get out

of the relationship that is. you're perfectly welcome to stay in the thread

>>77345082
basically

>>77344977
very mean

>>77345068
myself

>>77345082
:3

>>77345012
Hmmm I wonder if Siobhan is the good looking one or the plain one.

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>>77345013
oh i misread that as dog
are you bent son?

>>77345098
not really i'm trying to help

>>77345058
Sauce?

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Any Stone Roses fans here?

>>77345100
>myself
then no. dump the traitorous bitch and cut all contact with her. no second chances with adultery.

>>77345012
terrible name
still can't believe after all these years it's pronounced "shiv-on"

>>77345129
they look slavic, that's all i know

>>77345133
yes

>>77345147
shiv-awn actually

>>77345127
s-stop

Any self harm fans here?

>>77344952
Have had this problem a couple times but mostly cuz I'm a big fucking tank of a man. Legs too long for the seats I can afford as well. People don't really seem to mind too much if they can see you actively trying to not be a bother or if you simply apologise to them and ask if they have any ideas for how to minimise their discomfort.

>>77345147
knew a girl with that name everyone pronounced it "shub-an"

>>77345165
aaahhh you know what i mean

>>77345127
I-I'm fine thanks I don't want help

>>77345141
>adultery
Fucking hell Rasheed, want to give her a public lashing as well while you're at it?

>>77345100
If she's anything above 7/10 and you have no other current prospects and you get regular sex, you may as well fuck her until you're bored of her.

>>77345039
Too late mate all respect gone. You don't fall on an erect dick

>>77345133
sure

>>77345012
wonder if siobhan is the white one or the ugly one

hmmm

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Numbers+5%3A11-31
huh, interesting...

>>77345193
adultery sounds better than cheating. just trying to improve the jf's vocab.

>>77345147
It's "muh gaelic" spelling, s followed by any vowel = sh, and bh = v.

>>77345187
ok
stop posting that shite in my thread then

>>77345183
>not just asking the person at check-in to give you the exit seat

>>77345193
t. cuck

>>77345184
Why would anyone pronounce it that way? it's not even spelled that way

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reading Evola again lads

>>77345127
WHO IS THIS

>>77345237
t. sexless virgin

>>77345234
Don't EVER tell me what to do

>>77344980
youtube money + goldigging

>>77345039
No. Break up and give her the buzz cut to punish her like based Germanics would do.

>Very rare for so numerous a population is adultery, the punishment for which is prompt, and in the husband's power. Having cut off the hair of the adulteress and stripped her naked, he expels her from the house in the presence of her kinsfolk, and then flogs her through the whole village. The loss of chastity meets with no indulgence; neither beauty, youth, nor wealth will procure the culprit a husband.
- Tacitus

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xD

>>77345263
Absolutely seething eh mate?

>>77345245
haha

have wanked 3 times in the last 3 hours

I fucking hate woodlice so fucking much wish they'd just FUCK OFF OUT OF MY FUCKING HOUSE

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any Ed Sheeran fans here?

>>77345242
you're clearly not from up north :D

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https://youtu.be/IxSiA14OkVE

>develop crush on girl
>crush intensifies after we have drunk sex one night
>she goes all cold
>feel rejected and get a bit depressed about it
>get over it after rough few weeks and meet new girls
>dont see her for 4 months
>asked me to see her one night few weeks ago when everyone was out
>everything just like it was when i developed crush in first place
>feel shitty again

REEEEE feel like such a fag lads

>>77345235
Even the exit seat isn't that much bigger in the leg area tbqh lad. All it does is mean my legs aren't stretched as far as they usually would, but it's still not a lot. On top of that, some planes don't let those seats recline and some airlines charge you extra for asking for a specific seat.

>>77345301
want to smash his fucking stupid mongy peasant face in

crypto gf isn't going to go on birth control or get tested for stds because she says she can't afford it. should i end it with her?

>>77344952
>And this isn't about emotional fragility. I'm vulnerable, but I'm tough
>This is about airline policies, and about what happens when others decide to make an issue of my body.
fat pig thinks others should have to put up with her bulging gut just because its her body

>>77345263
haha mad as fuck, cuckboy

Anyone ever used Huel before?

>>77345257
someone posted her here a while ago and refused to give source
don't you love those people

>>77345267
git tae fuck ya bent wanker

>>77345309
would've found this funny if i still browsed /tv/

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damn

devon

gay-lick

>>77345322
do me first

>>77345304
Are you just saying "we're illiterate in the north"? Because that's the only thing that would lead to someone pronouncing it that way.

>>77345318
You sound like one too.

scots are better than other humans

>>77345356
you're a real human bean anon

>>77345356
runtius maximus

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>>77345321
mate, don't take the piss
I'm tall too and the exit seats are fine, if you're flying with someone shit like Ryanair or Easyjet then yeah you're up shit creek but someone like Virgin or Emirates are fine

>>77345356
>radiohead
i have no hat picture so just imagine i've posted one

hated girls when i was a kid but since i was around 13 all i want to do is touch there boobs and fannies

>>77345356
mirth

>>77345387
How tall?

Fully expecting you to say 6'2" or some shite.

>>77345367
well they're not human. and whatever they are certainly is not better than anything short of a nutty turd

>>77345393
aye same but the opposite with boys (am boy)

>>77345416
6'5

>>77345418
boys dont have boobs or fannies

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>>77345349
>someone posted her here a while ago and refused to give source
I remember that cunt, I found her, her name is Alexa Pearl

>>77345365
>Are you just saying "we're illiterate in the north"?
yes, although in fairness it isn't a very phonetic name

>>77345251
evola looked a bit grim didn't he

i won't be trusting anyone's measurements here without an accompanying picture complete with tape measure front and centre

>>77345438
great thanks

>>77345426
Aye sit the fuck down manlet. And don't post pictures of the emergency exit seats of fucking American Airline planes to prove your point.

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>>77345193
who let you out the cuckshed?

>>77345426
how do you like being that tall? my mate is 6'6 and he says it's just too tall for convenience, squashed up on any public transport, most cars, head always getting banged in low doorframes, going upstairs. I'm 5'10, wish i was 6' but not sure i'd fancy being that lanky

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Been pretending to be Tim's doctor whilst secretly doing hacks on his PC. He's starting to catch on to me though so I have to finish the job. Just sneaked into his flat and took this, going to beat him to death now.

>>77345449
It doesn't matter if it's phonetic or not. Apparently everyone you know wasn't even able to read the name phonetiicaly, nor able to simply mimic the sounds the girl made when she told everyone how to pronounce it.

>>77345365
aye, hopefully my brain winds its neck in soon and cuts this shit out

>>77345513
>I'm 5'10
alri lil man haha
*pats you on the head*

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>haha yeah being over 6 foot is great bro you pull all the ladies

>>77345524
sending this to tim and google is all over your IP address, we gotcha.

Fed up of seeing the Jim Jefferies show advert on comedy central

is applying to 10 grad schools excessive? it'll cost about $100 per including getting my GRE scores sent to them

give me some tips on hanging myself

>>77345356
>ok computer
fucking pleb

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>>77345245

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>all these screeching manlets itt

>>77345559
never happens

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>>77345560
Too late, he's dead, his head is smashed in and there's blood everywhere. He was onto us, I had to silence him.

>>77345513
went to see a film couple weeks ago and got injured because i was too big for the seats but too polite to sit up normally and block peoples views

love being tall though

t. not the 6'5" manlet

>>77344549
kek, nice

>>77345513
it's shite in all honesty mate, you feel like everyone's always watching you

getting the underground is fucking hell, I have trouble driving most cars (did my lessons in an astra and my shins were killing me) and you just get non stop 'banter' from people like "haha did your parents put you in a growbag?" like yeah mate ain't heard that one before. Even at gigs people will whinge at me that they can't see over me and I've gotten in fights a few times because of it

it's alright but I'd rather be 6'3 or something, it's more trouble than it's worth

>>77344608
gross

>>77345611
KEK

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>Aye sit the fuck down manlet. And don't post pictures of the emergency exit seats of fucking American Airline planes to prove your point

might get back into runescape

>>77345611
under 18 clubs look fucking hellish

>>77345611
Fucking nonce bastard got what was coming to him, good riddance. Thailad next.

>>77345513
5'10" manlet detected

>>77345614
This post reeks of a person pretending to be 6'5" and parroting things they think 6'5" people experience and think.

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>>77345611
good job

haven't paid any attention to tim in all the time i've been here but i'm honestly curious what he does all day

>>77345651
I want to ram my massive thick dick up that aussie bum

dumb bradleyposter

>>77345655
>man didn't go unders

virgin post

love me some disco music i do

>>77345611
me down in front

>>77345651
what a dismal arse

>>77345658
bored of it Tbh, don't believe me then fine, I'm not that arsed

>>77345532
actually, she herself pronounced it incorrectly too. she and the others were not dumb people either, i knew her through youth theatre so it was mainly middle class kids, brighter than average. i'd assume it's just a yorkshire thing, we're not exactly famed for clear pronunciation.

>>77345657
He'll get what's coming to him. I promise you.

>>77345689
illiterate nigger

>>77345689
>under 18 clubs existed when he was under 18
hello still-under-18-poster

>>77345651
...19th july....arse shot...

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>Lives in a mortgaged 2 bedroom house several miles outside the ring road of a major city
>Successful and ambitious, but only within a very limited set of horizons (working in a high street bank, estate agent, etc.)
>Very proud of his middling success and jumps to put down others for their perceived failures
>Very concerned with what sort of car he drives
>Shops at Sainsbury's, which he considers upmarket. Special occasions merit a trip to Marks and Spencer
>Only books in the house are cookery books, mostly limited to Jamie Oliver. A couple of Gordon Ramsay books for special occasions
>Wears polyester suits to nightclubs
>Has a short back and sides haircut.
>Uses hair products
>Has a study which he often refers to as a 'man cave'
>Has a matching sofa set
>Owns a games console
>Owns a set of champagne flutes
>Once considered buying a motorised tie rack
>Eats turkey at Christmas
>Watches ITV and has a Sky subscription
>Depending on his generation, he either went to the 'university of life', or read a meme subject at a plate glass/ex-poly. Isn't an Oxbridge reject because he didn't even apply for Oxbridge
>Has Bradley Walsh reaction images saved on his hard drive

>>77345734
been around for decades you runt

>>77345689
I hope you permanently damaged your brain with MDMA

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>>77345655
They're absolutely hilarious

>>77345734
billy no mates never went to an under 18s night

>>77345611
Between this and what he did to his daughter. Its disgusting the man got away with it all.

>>77345714
t. 5'11" manlet

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>>77345742
wonder if tim would be into findom

panic! at the chrisco (christmas hamper)

>>77345761
don't see anything funny about this
just grim and depressing

>>77345742
dont usually care for tim memes in general but quite like posting captions in his style

>>77345734
they're still going you fucking spaz

>I didn't fly for a year and a half after that. Refused travel for work, didn't see my family, only traveled where I could drive

https://youtu.be/ltF-6ldrqJs?t=859

>>77345755
>>77345765
>>77345790
children OUT

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>>77345788
That's where the hilarity of it comes from

>going to under 18 clubs

screeching

10 pound crimbo bonus

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>>77345813

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>>77345438
>I remember that cunt, I found her, her name is Alexa Pearl
That was me

post more under 18 club shots

veritable negroid times, whom'st awake?

>he never went to his local club's nappy night to get charged up on energy drinks

lmaaaooooooh my days

>>77345843
legit thought she was a tranny

half disappointed if im honest but half glad she's not

>>77345848
Ah must be nonce hour

>>77344608
yuck

>>77345813
screaming

If you went to under 18 clubs then your parents are fucking failures

What do you even do there? Presumably there's no alcohol or drugs?

>>77345813
starting to see why girls go for older guys

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>>77345842

>>77345848
'e

>>77345842
how the fuck are the birds all so much taller than the lads

I know one's a literal midget but that doesn't count

>>77345856
>he went to his local clubs nappy night
chav

>>77345885
>one eye on the streets

>>77345842
>she's literally reaching to pat his head
manlets... when will they learn?

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vaguely remember going to one of those teenage clubs when i was a kid
it was awkward

>>77345896
Because they're all 14
Girls are bigger than boys at that age

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>>77345885

>>77345885
white people are subhumans

>>77345885
hahsha look at them

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DES

PA

CITO

>>77345896
literally normal puberty

The reason you heard about girls in your year sucking off 22 year olds when you were 14 is because when lads are 14 they look about 8 years old whereas girls look 17.

>>77345885
grim

>>77345896
baby formula out of BPA plastic bottles since birth

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>>77345848
me in the middle

>>77345863
https://www.reddit.com/r/AlexaPearl/

>>77345938
nonce TWAT

look at the way they dance in Latin America

fucking mental, imagine if a bird did that to you in a club, I'd spunk myself

https://youtu.be/kJQP7kiw5Fk?t=169

>calling children "birds"
nonce alert wee woo wee woo

>>77345949
is that kev

>>77345885
>wh*te people
gas the lot

>>77345938
nonce

>>77345965
on the left

>>77345949
sharting

>>77345959
takes one to know one

*beats up your mum*

Noticed a strange trend lads. People rarely claim to be 6ft1 or 5ft11. Why is this?

>>77345953
absolutely nothing noncey in the post, just stating facts

feel free to reply to this post if you like but I won't be continuing any further as I have won the argument

hey faggots

>>77345949
I was about to make fun of the jowls on that mongrel girl but the oblivion character behind her is too distracting

>>77345949
would be surprisedif kev goes out clubbing with his son

>>77345995
hear that comeback at the playground today nonce?

>>77345949
HAVE YOU HEARD OF THE HIGH ELVES?

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>>77346006
alri

>>77345938
I never heard that though. What kind of impoverished shithole did you go to?

>>77346003
>The reason you heard about girls in your year sucking off 22 year olds when you were 14 is
never heard about this you nonce

>>77346022
how would you know what modern day playground banter sounds like you absolute turbononce

>>77345556
haha i'm not fussed about being 5'10, i'm taller than most girls i wouldn't mind being 6' but i dont think it would really change my life
>>77345658
i literally said i'm 5'10 mate, so good detection skills there.
>>77345614
my mate used to get really aggi about the tall jokes when we were younger, now he just goes alonmg with it. but it makes me wonder if he actually really does hate hearing them and just banters along with it because it's better than looking like you cant take a joke or whatever. he passed his motorcycle test recently, and he dwarfes every single bike he sits on. makes 1000cc streetfighter look like a moped. told him to get a zx14000, massive thing. his mrs is proper fit though and he's very confident. i think girls do like it.

he also said he gets a lot of men with small man syndrome targetting him because they want to look tough starting on someone bigger than them, which is a laugh because he doesn't have a fighting bone in his body really

>>77345611
made me spit on my monitor with laughter

>>77346008
>oblivion character
ok that cracked me up

>>77345896
did you go to an all boys catholic school?
or did you just not pay attention in sex ed?

GCHQ needs to shut this nonce general down

>>77346067
prefer not to say

>>77346109
no please keep posting

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>>77346090
>i think girls do like it.
h-haha you'd be surprised mate

>>77346090
it's a meme you dip

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nomblerzomblers zibblyzubblyroooooooooooo

Loving the reggaeton in morrisons

Can’t stop SWEATING ITS FUCKING HUMID AND TOO HOT ME BOLLOCKS ARE STUXK TO ME THIGH AGAIN FUCK OFF

Most common heights to claim
>5ft8-for turbomanlets below this height
>5ft10-for normal manlets pretending to be normal height
>6ft-for buttblasted 5ft11 lads
>6ft2-for 6ft and change guys wanting to seem like big lads

don't know what the rest of the day'll do

>>77346157
pics x

>>77346090
>i think girls do like it
they love it lad. unironically don't need to even try to get birds if i'm out. lots of "can you pick me up?" stuff for some reason. don't know why girls like being lifted so much by tall, strong men.

hate chinese people
love chinese food
simple as

Imagine going to such a shithole school that at a pre pubescent age the girls in your year are already being molested by grown men. I simply can't

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>>77346157
twat

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>It’s challenging. It’s hard work. And it’s certainly not for the faint hearted. But if the idea of a career in health and wellbeing (and a life of helping customers in their pursuit of health and happiness) gives you that warm-fuzzy-feeling inside, there’s a unique experience here for the taking.

>>77346191
Lived with a couple of chinks once in first year uni and Chinese food seems to have absolutely no fresh vegetables in it except for the rare occasion they chuck a pepper in. The rest is just meat, egg, soy sauce, weird dried shite and fermented bean pastes with rice and noodles.

Seems very unhealthy.

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>Why the fuck are you looking at my bird you little cunt? Hows about we take this outside and I'll break your scrawny fucking neck

>>77346216
2 cases of foetal alcohol syndrome and 1 twink.

>>77346214
urm sweaty this is summer to us x

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literally just realised the lyric is:

>they say I was the abomination of Obama's nation

always thought it was "I was the Obama's nation of Obama's nation"

>>77346216
me on the right

>>77346250
Mate use some bloody head and shoulders yeah?

>>77346214
HURR DURR IS LE DESERT SHITOLE DINGO LE USED TO LE HIGHER TEMPERATURES??? HAHA FASCINATING fuck off also it’s 26 and 80% humidity where I am

>>77346280
grim as fuck
fucking state of you if you're still clubbing by the time you're balding

>>77346214
we love complaining

just had a sit down wee

>>77346304
you say that but i knew a guy who was balding at 19

>>77346292
oi
calm down

>>77346249
no sweet and sour chicken? sounds disappointing tbqh

>>77346292
in brisbane 30c days with 90% humidity is considered mild

>>77346260
Donald Trump ghostwrote that song

>>77346124
the key is actually talking to girls i think. i do alright with girls but i think it's just because im confident and talk to them like i would anyone else, and i'm in pretty good shape. you always hear women saying they like a tall man though. i thin being tall is at least an advantage
>>77346183
yep seen this happen out with my mate loads. do you get many arm wrsetle challenges too?

>>77346369
thought aus was mostly dry heat

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just accepted my first job out of uni lads

26k

goodbye free time

>>77346411
grim

>>77346403
nah the coastal regions (where almost everyone lives) is basically a rainforest

>>77346411
go to uni for 4 years and your first job is below the average wage
life is a fucking pain in the arse

You can't learn Japanese

NEW

>>77346449
>>77346449

>>77346397
mostly from short lads that think they're stronger than me because their biceps look relatively bigger on their stubby little arms. then they get all pissy when i beat them and start rattling off their lift numbers (almost always exlcusively their bench for some reason). i normally just nod and say their numbers are impressive because there's no point in kicking someone while they're down.

>>77346411
what was your course? i was getting paid 28k for the year-long placement i did while still in uni.

>>77346466
>290

>>77346250
ah, hilarious, where I'm from bird is slang for your dick. Like, little kids slang.
Also wtf is with that head tilt? This guy is clearly broken and needs to be taped up a bit.

>>77344636
goddess

>>77345318
Fuck her in the arse and wipe your dick on her curtains.

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guess who doesnt have AIDS?

(its me!)