/brit/

>>77314396
of course

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We should send pictures of Alan to Tim

600 calories short of my goal for today. got the shits though so im thinking of just going to bed and trying to sleep them off.

>>77314388
good point
only people who should be handling bleach are poles and your house staff

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anime

>>77314001
>abandon her kid
that's not the usual womanly way, thus making that scenario less likely.
Does she speak ameican?

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me

>>77314465
american isnt a language you wool

>>77314465
She has already all but abandoned him. He lives with his dad 7 days a week. Yeah she speaks good english (been with the dad for 6 years)

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>>77314442
do NOT barrack and harass Tim

phoned the weedman and he phoned me back on my old number the mong

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>tfw I'm probably close to a foot taller than Alan
feels good knowing he'd instinctively cower around me and fear to hold my gaze for more than a few seconds at a time haha

0.25mg clonaz down the gullet

>>77314442
we should send pictures of alan to the gendarme

first

STATELY, PLUMP BUCK MULLIGAN CAME FROM THE STAIRHEAD, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror and a razor lay crossed. A yellow dressing gown, ungirdled, was sustained gently-behind him by the mild morning air. He held the bowl aloft and intoned:

-- Introibo ad altare Dei.

Halted, he peered down the dark winding stairs and called up coarsely:

-- Come up, Kinch. Come up, you fearful jesuit.

Solemnly he came forward and mounted the round gunrest. He faced about and blessed gravely thrice the tower, the surrounding country and the awaking mountains. Then, catching sight of Stephen Dedalus, he bent towards him and made rapid crosses in the air, gurgling in his throat and shaking his head. Stephen Dedalus, displeased and sleepy, leaned his arms on the top of the staircase and looked coldly at the shaking gurgling face that blessed him, equine in its length, and at the light untonsured hair, grained and hued like pale oak.

Buck Mulligan peeped an instant under the mirror and then covered the bowl smartly.

-- Back to barracks, he said sternly.

He added in a preacher's tone:

-- For this, O dearly beloved, is the genuine Christine: body and soul and blood and ouns. Slow music, please. Shut your eyes, gents. One moment. A little trouble about those white corpuscles. Silence, all.

He peered sideways up and gave a long low whistle of call, then paused awhile in rapt attention, his even white teeth glistening here and there with gold points. Chrysostomos. Two strong shrill whistles answered through the calm.

-- Thanks, old chap, he cried briskly. That will do nicely. Switch off the current, will you?

>>77314487
>Having to trim your pubes yourself.
>Not going to dirt cheap wacing parlors to get them waxed
>and paying your pack of cigarettes 10€ btw
Belowing, howling, grunting and roaring

>>77314536
nah mental illness aside he's a narcissistic and arrogant twat who deserves to be harassed

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>>77314536
It's not harassment, it's comforting, we'll tell him, pretending to be Alan, that we're watching him, we know all about him, and we're protecting him, making sure he's safe and that

Ola

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>>77314482

>>77314589
not sure how I feel about doing that, worried that people at the parlor would laugh at how big my willy is
>>77314611
link

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iphone 8 will be all screen lads

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>>77314631
she's such a fucking slag

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me on the right

>>77314640
so they're only 3 years behind samsung then

wonder when they will get curved edges

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>>77314634
>worried that people at the parlor would laugh at how big my willy is

>laugh at how big my willy is

>big

>>77314634
There are no "people", just a very nice lady who is trained to be be non-judgemental and wax pubes godlessly (the less attractive and older, the better).

>>77314682
you're a bit of a psycho aren't you?

>>77314682
Kys fatty

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The London Experience

>>77314667
why does she look so tall? she's 5'8 yet looks huge

state of the shit lisicki's been posting

>>77314667
most women are

>>77314682
poutine mentioned

>>77314688
see what I mean? one mention of my big willy and already I'm getting laughed at
>>77314707
better a woman does it, cute lad and my willy would poke his eye out

>>77314716
part and parcel

>>77314680
Deano on the left
Tarquin on the right mocking Deano's nouveau riche taste

>>77314748
unironically please post a pic
im kind of 'in heat' atm and i really need to see it~

>>77314682
haha FUCK womyn

The cousin has landed a role in a hollywood film lads

>>77314688
>reddit spacing between greentext

grim

>>77314748
I had that face in my angry files.

gonna start walking around and splashing people so they shit it thinking it's acid

>>77314817
'd

>>77314817
'd

*splashes you with acid*

>>77314442
Send him a green card instead

london; the state of

smuglaughingpepe.png

>>77314817
lol do it with alkaline

that way they'll have to throw acid on themselves to neutralise it

i fuckin love science!

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what did you have for dinner boys?

>>77314795
yeah I saw that
can't believe he got the role of Random man walking the street #2483

>>77314786
http://imgur.com/a/am2py
I've got some of Tim's bio-oil on it
Anyway, your turn, you post a pic x

>avoiding any mandem holding a lucozade bottle

The London Experience

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I get around in my BMW Z4 and drive down beautiful country lanes in perfect solitude, air con gently blowing in my face, cushioned on leather seats, listening to my own music, going at my own pace. Bliss.

Londoners get around in pic related, packed like curried sardines next to Rasheed with a vial of acid in his hand and Jamal with a knife in his, grime music and the Islamic call to prayer blasting in my ear, the whole place reeking of curry and sweat, then off onto an even more packed and even more smelly bus.

Makes you think!

>>77314868
rice, peas, carrots and grilled chicken

>>77314710
as evidenced by the trip code
you'll find aposematism isn't strictly limited to women

>>77314842
>>77314848
What the fuck does this even mean

Caught a few fish this morning lads

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Would you approach her?

>>77314868
want to slap her fat tits around while she cries

leftypol benders need to fuck off

>>77314911
't

>>77314911
'd

>>77314914
Caught a few crabs from your sister this morning desu

>>77314886
That's a really nice willy. not even gay or anything.

captcha: puccini road

whenever i eat at mcdonalds i always stuff my fries in my burger and eat them all together in the burger

game of thrones vs lord of the rings
http://www.strawpoll.me/13469107

>>77314914
catch this
*splashes your face with sulfuric acid*

Regret not trying my chance at an acting career tbdesu. I have a very expressive face, emotional intelligence, and a great physique, presence and voice.

>>77314911
it means you should fuck off back to leftypol kiddo

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Link me to a good documentary on youtube

>>77314925
no

>>77314932
fuck off deano

>>77314925
probably not.
i tend to approach 6/10 girls maximum.

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grrr, fucking hate womyn me, despise them I do, shallow cunts, can never get any, love beautiful men though, have hundreds of pics of them, not gay or anything though

*takes a whiff* thread's got that yank smell

>>77314925
hmm maybe she should ask a guy if he wants a drink

fucking women always want the easy do nothing role

>>77314956
stupid runt

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>>77314925
>tfw too beautiful for anyone to be interested in me

>>77314925
I don't acknowledge or approach women because the notion that I would be able to enter into a relationship is so completely out of the question.

When I see a cute girl I just think "yeah she's cute" then carry on doing whatever.

love girls with a shaven head

>>77314961
Oh my God please go for it, if it works out you could be a superstar, if it doesn't you've got nothing to lose, I can honestly see you having a bright future in film.

>>77315025
same

>>77314956
manchild

>>77314986
deanos are mainly apolitical you stupid leftypol newcunt

don't even know my gimmicks, get out of my general

>>77314940
>>77314959
Wow rude

>>77315025
elite behavior

>>77314925
i dont approach, i get approached (by 5/10s)

>>77314911
>being this new

come on mate

>>77315017
dont care what you think. they go better in the burger

>>77314942
thanks lad x
captcha: calle calle

It's an advantage to be gay in this day and age

>>77314886
that doesn't count, ive seen that picture before
take a new picture

>>77314864
some enterprising londoners have realised this and use ammonia in their attacks http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-london-27810723

>>77315057
lol fuck off deano

>>77315043
It's a bit too late for a career per se, but I yeah one of the goals is to act in a movie or play before I die.

>>77314894
Patrician Londoners get black cabs to drive them between their barristers' chambers, Michelin starred restaurants, theatre performances, and their Notting Hill/Hampstead mansions

But yeah your life would be grim if tried living here on your Deano salary

>>77315087
yes only thanks to jewish cultural marxism minorities are treated like the majority and the majority are treated like dirt (white people)

>>77315054
whatever. dont do it for fun, just dont really like eating the fries on their own

thinking of turning gay to offset my whiteness and gain victim status

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Is this achievable natty?

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>>77315093
HHEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRGHH

>>77315113
back to leftypol bender

your type aren't welcome here

>>77315141
pinnacle of well being

if you wanted to act you'd need hair transplants

>>77315124
pure scum

>>77315141
BONESAW IS READY

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>>77315093

>he hasn't had over 67 bitcoins

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>>77314925
hmm i wonder why

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>>77315121
>Londoners consider getting a taxi a luxury reserved for patricians

>>77315165
i'd beat you to a pulp in a physical fight though

>>77315087
agree
not having to do stupid 2000 year old gender role bullshit (women never approaching men, having to pay for food, etc etc) is fantastic, and also i have much more in common with men that women

after fucking my bf i get to eat pizza, drink beer (cider for me) and play mario kart with him while chatting about football - reckon it would be nigh impossible to find a girl to do the same with

>>77315122
not really
i have never received special treatment cause of my gayness, but that might be because as a white gay man its not visually apparent that im a minority

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only thing i get from mcdonalds or burger king are mayo-chickens or king-chickens respectively.

been meanign to do an indepth comparison of the two options. the chicken at maccy Ds is more like a malletted breast, whereas the BK one seems to be like a sort of nugget like disk (with a bit of dark chicken meat in it).

the maccy D mayo is sort of sweeter and fresher tasting, whilst the BK one has a bit more of a mustardy taste.

maccy D bun is really good, steamed bun. BK one is toasted and has sesame seeds on it but always comes out a bit doughy.

lettuce is the same between them

>>77315121
>very wealthy people in London have decent lives
wtf I LOVE London now?!?!

thoroughly enjoyed the evolution of the 'd gimmick
where will it go next?

Can honestly say I have never, ever lived in fear of being the victim of a terror attack i.e getting van'd or blown up.

However something about these acid attacks puts the fear in me. It feels more likely to happen somehow. Like I can imagine some gang of runtish "yutes" throwing acid in my face just for no reason at all.

Made one lad cum already tonight by roleplaying as a girl desu

Q. Do you offer 15 minutes incall bookings?

A. No. I am not interested in numbers and I really cannot see how you are offering a quality experience in 15 minutes!

I don't want to clock watch, I want to enjoy you, every part of you. I want to savour taking you in my mouth and hearing your moans of pleasure. I want to kiss you and work my way down your body, or you do the same to mine. How can you achieve that intimacy in 15 minutes?

>>77315161
Yep unironically thinking of getting them in september but that's not to act. Ever heard of Bruce Willis, Vin Diesel and Jason Statham sweetie?

>>77315202
if u dont like heroin chic then ur bent

>>77314961
And I suppose with all your ladyboy experience sucking off producers for parts won't be too difficult for you

>>77315218
im a regional cruiserweight boxing champion I don't fucking think so mate

>>77315219
if you act straight then they wouldn't know so they would assume you as being straight so treat you like shit

nothing worse than over effeminate gay men

they all need beheading

as long as you keep your head down and don't mention your homosexuality every 20 seconds you're alright here

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>only 2% of the (US) population
>over 30% of qts
bit sus

>>77315232
grim. can't imagine living in fear of leaving my house. thank FUCK I don't live in London

>>77315204
Getting taxis every day literally is. London is vast - an average journey won't cost you a fiver like in your provincial shit hole

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>he's actually getting hair transplants

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>>77314396
>successfully quit smoking after 5 years
>get addicted to alcohol

Please help me i really fucked up what the ffuck should i do

>>77315219
enjoy burning in hell

>>77315204
there's a video of some cunt in london charging some tourists £206 for a rickshaw ride. the place is just a cesspool

>takeaway minimum order £15

fuck sake lads why is this the same everywhere i go

>>77315243
profound and important post

>>77315285
real talk here.
I've lived all over the UK.
if you're not living in london, it really is like what are you doing?

for me its either london or abroad. cannot stand the idea of living in scunthorpe or milton keynes or grimsby or whatever poo hole you live in.

What's that Garbage song what goes "bap,pa-pa-paa
bap,pa-pa-paa
da,da-da-da"
?

>>77315257
Ah yes the old gimmick of projecting.

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Me on the right
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DpODmYWQK-M

going to watch a film

>>77315245
none of them were balding in their 20's you fucking melt

>>77315290
nothing wrong with being addicted to alcohol so long as you can pay for it

>>77315232
same 2bh. they should really limit coverage of it because i dont want some local mad lads on their school holidays getting inspired

>>77315345
im only 19

>>77315325
paki

Lads, how do you approach girls in the club?

I've had mixed results, from them dancing with me to some basically pushing me away.

I literally cannot deal with the pushing away. makes me feel like shit the rest of the night.

Only places worth living

>Anywhere rural
>Any small middle class market town
>London
>York
>Oxford
>Cambridge
>Harrogate
>Bath
>Bristol
>Exeter
>Edinburgh

flirted with a girl once and she reciprocated which made me panic and stop talking to her forever haha

>>77315302
My local used to be free for over a 10 now it has to be over 10 and 2 euro additional for delivery

Between that and freddos going up my finances are in the red

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Been drinking myself to sleep every night for the past 6 years

>>77315373
all 3 of my residences mentioned

>>77315367
just be thineself

Doing a spliff

>>77315232
>It feels more likely to happen somehow
because people are far less likely to get caught for acid attacks than terror attacks
and for the kind of psychopath that inhabits london and is likely to consider such an act, this gives them the incentive to do it

splash acid on a pom 2017

>>77315373
live in one of the towns you listed below London.

gonna be honest with you, its boring. its nice for a day trip but a bigger city would be better

cannot imagine being a virgin in this day and age

>>77315232
Mate had it happen to him in a dead posh area of Kent, some mentalist just chucked it at him and ran off. It burned all the skin on his tongue off and couldn't taste anything for 6 months
He's alright now though

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>>77315373
love how this paki always tries to sneak London in between all the actually nice cities like we're not going to notice

cannot imagine being straight in this day and age

r'

>>77315384
its fucking grim lad. normally end up spending £15 on shitty food i dont even eat just because i fancied a burger

>>77315412
fornicators are going to burn in hell forever

>>77315373
>no plymouth

shit list cunt

>>77315367
If you're seriously asking. Go to alexsocial.com and watch his free videos. The guy is the real deal.

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When I whip my driving licence out as ID when I go out in London the locals gather around, wide-eyed and in awe, like I've just pulled out the ark of the covenant or something.

>What is this... strange document? Why does it glitter and change as I turn it from side to side?

I explain that it means I have permission from the state to operate a motor vehicle.

Their eyes glaze over and it's clear they can't quite understand, so I motion for them to step outside and point towards one of the large red buses filled with Asian and African people.

>it's like one of those, except smaller and it's only used by me and a small number of passengers. And rather than follow a predetermined route I can drive it wherever I want whenever I want.

They marvel at how someone could be so wealthy as to own their own personal bus, and so intelligent as to be able to operate one. I'm about to explain that car ownership is actually rather normal outside the capital but there is suddenly an acid and shooting attack so we have to run back inside and take cover and I lose my train of thought.

If anyone ever tried to throw acid on me they'd better hope to god they don't miss because if they did they wouldn't be alive for much longer

>>77315401
at least get it right
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/thyself

properly embarrassed laddos. i JUST found out how to pass functions in MATLAB and i thought i knew MATLAB ..what am i like ! lmoa

אולי לשחק עם הפין שלי

>>77315367
do eye contact and gage the situation first. always see absolute spackers in clubs just going up to girls and grinding on them from behind and being told to fuck off either immediately or after a short period of the girl entertaining it. also any girls that see you get rejected will then automatically reject you if you try it with them

>>77315441
hahahaahahahhahahahahah

>>77315417
To be honest everything other than London is a shithole

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>tfw you will never be landlocked

>>77315417
Obsessed

>>77315367
FONT

just read the daily mail article about a rickshaw rider charging 200 squid.

creased at the end when the cab driver who filmed it said 'fleecing tourists like that was ‘disgusting’ and that he would have charged about £7 for the same journey.'

>£7 from marble arch to oxford circus
fuck off

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>To be honest everything other than London is a shithole

>>77315454
Obsessed

>only takeaway for a tenner is called Mr Pizza & Chicken

Not sure if i fancy risking it 2bh

>>77315373
Why is London on this list of otherwise nice places? It's literally not a nice city at all. It has a few nice areas where super rich white people live, so what? it's objectively the worst place to live in the UK in terms of all the statistics that matter

>>77315454
Chuckled

London is the only nice place in the country

TOP TIER
Oxford
Cambridge
Seale
North Wales

HIGH TIER:
London
Edinburgh
Rural Areas

DECENT TIER:
Manchester
Birmingham
Leeds
Guildford

POOR TIER:
Industrial Cities
Scotland
South Wales

SHIT TIER:
All suburbs
Northern Ireland

dont understand the hate with the 'don
everytime i go there its nice

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>I'm so happy that I don't live in London, that's why I make dozens of posts every hour reaffirming this truth for everyone to know

>>77315561
>North Wales
why?
>Seale
who?

>>77315561
>Cambridge
Literally London prices with none of the benefits.

>live in a 'nice' city like york or oxford
>it looks pretty and has old buildings
>you go to see the sites once
>you go to the same 2-3 pubs
and that's you're entire life
as someone who lives in one of these 'nice' towns, i'll give you an example of how limited it is: i've literally run out of girls on tinder within 2 weeks of moving here.

not sure if this is really nice or if its just autism. i prefer london just because of the constant variety and opportunity. maybe its nice to live in stratford upon avon or cambridge or whatever when you're old or with a family, but can't see why someone in their 20s would prefer their (nice) monotony

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>>77315527
The super rich white areas are among the best places to live on the planet

let's be honest when people think of the UK they think of London

>>77315527
It's a good place to visit stadia and get immersed in football culture, pretty good nightlife. You meet interesting people. Shag girls from all the world (mostly brazilians and polish though). Can't see myself visiting another place in the UK as a tourist.

http://krautchan.net/files/1499976990001.webm

>>77315615
when people think of the UK they think of funny sounding accents

>>77315092
http://imgur.com/a/DfRxI
here

>>77315599
>North Wales
comfy, cultural, beautiful landscapes, no runts

>Seale
Pay attention

>>77315602
>none of the benefits
hmm except some of the most stunning 13th century architecture on the planet and the 3rd best university in the world?

I live in Hampstead and the only place I see pakis and blacks is on the news

>>77315579
i only shit on london when someone mentions it as a good place to live, which you runts keep doing. it literally isn't a nice place to live or even a remotely nice city. it has third world crime rates, a muslim mayor, rampant gun and knife crime, and a small minority of super rich elite.

what is there to like unless you are super rich? the architecture, museams? honestly not worth going there

Deanos ADORE London, they just can't afford to live there.

They are the ex-cockneys who have been priced out of the capital but still go back for piss-ups with the call centre crew after a particularly fruitful week, and buy overpriced trainers on Oxford Street with their bonuses.

Alan, how can I meet up with you for drinks?

>>77315661
>hmm except some of the most stunning 13th century architecture on the planet and the 3rd best university in the world?

>stunning 13th century architecture
that you marvel at once or twice and then forget about because it actually has very little bearing on your life.
>3rd best university
that if you're not associated with, you feel like a runt for being in the same town as.

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[in a whiny, nasally, rhotic, horrid accent]
>when people think of the UK they think of funny sounding accents

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>>77315561
>DECENT TIER:
>Guildford

stop posting women
it reminds me that I don't have a gf
then I feel sad

la vida lyca

>>77315677
I'm super rich though

>>77314956
the runt burger

>>77315615
this is what people picture london being like

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_mpaF5-SlU

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oi lads remember when I accidently ordered dominos with no cheese

>>77315697
Will be in Valencia and Barcelona in august. Otherwise here in Bangkok.

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>>77315721

henry did you go to a private school

>>77315677
the cultural life in london is more interesting and varied than anywhere else in the UK.

>>live in a 'nice' city like york or oxford
>>it looks pretty and has old buildings
>>you go to see the sites once
>>you go to the same 2-3 pubs
>and that's you're entire life
>as someone who lives in one of these 'nice' towns, i'll give you an example of how limited it is: i've literally run out of girls on tinder within 2 weeks of moving here.
>not sure if this is really nice or if its just autism. i prefer london just because of the constant variety and opportunity. maybe its nice to live in stratford upon avon or cambridge or whatever when you're old or with a family, but can't see why someone in their 20s would prefer their (nice) monotony

*paki deano wearing the mask of a white man.jpg*

>>77315739
Going to try and find you and buy you a dirnk

>>77315737
Yeah
Grim

>>77315737
enjoyed that post, still do

>>77315613
but only if you are super rich. making it only a good city for a very small minority of people. making it a shit city overall. no matter where you are in london, you're no more than a couple of miles from someone being shot or stabbed

>>77315561
nah

Top tier:
Solihull
Failsworth
Worcester

Shit tier:
Everything Else

>>77315744
ah yes love getting stabbed, run over and having acid thrown on me by pakis

very culturally enriching

>>77315739
How much are flights to Spain from Thailand

Bolton

>>77315769
It'd be a pleasure lad and the nexy round will be on me.

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need an amy gf

>>77315781
0121er here.

find solihull and sutton coldfield quite grim, solihull in particular. its full of noveau-riche deanos living in gaudy mansions going to touchwoods to waste their money

the properly nice parts of WM are in birmingham

>>77315778
London is vast

I would have to walk for over an hour to get to a povvo stabby neighbourhood from my house

>>77315630
>football culture
I'll give you that, that's really the only thing worth VISITING for. the rest of the shit you listed is why i hate it. it's literally not part of the UK, it's basically an international hub for whoever. cesspool.

>>77315808
Looking forward to it

>>77315739
>Valencia
at the Estadi de Mestalla?

>>77315790
Around 30,000 baht back and forth

Nobody is denying there is a lot to do in London, I'd just rather do it as a tourist and visit occasionally rather than living there and CONSTANTLY being surrounded by shitskins and having to live in a tiny, depressing flat.

let's check out those drinks

coffee instant type 1

that is smooth

>>77315822
t. Edgbaston bellend

Where is the slag capital of the uk?

>>77315789
imagine putting your life on hold because of the remote possibility of something bad happening.

the state of you.

>>77315872
Newcastle

>>77315441
underrated

>>77315877
Mental illness

love watching kids get HEEMED on the web
don't know why, just do

>>77315872
The 'castle

>>77315872
Huddersfield

>>77315892
nonce

Would give my left bullock for a cup of tea and two slices of jam on toast

>>77315836
Yeah it's where my picture that's reposted here all the time was taken

>>77315872
grimsby

>>77315744
you mean it's literally just filled with foreigners, many of which are from the third world?

great. that's not a culture, it's just lots of people from lots of different places. if you wanted culture you'd go to their respective countries

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got the London deanos frothing at the mouth - AGAIN

>>77315857
edgbaston is even worse, there is no cultural centre of edgbaston, its just rich people hiding behind trees and shops.

>Be Northerner
>Dad's passed out on the sofa (which sits on the front lawn of our council flats next to a broken washing machine) so I nick his keys and take his car
>hop in the Austin Metro and start the engine, it wheezes to life
>the engine backfires as I pull out of the shared garage space, taking care to avoid the various prams and trolleys, some with infant babies still sitting in them, and out onto the potholed street
>"right, first stop, the dole office" I think
>collect dole
>drive 15 feet and park outside Bookie Street, starting with William Hill
>Get a text on dad's phone that someone's looking for gear, decide to make a drop off
>on the way stop off at the GUM clinic to see my gf, she doesn't work there she just has a lot of appointments
>finally make it to the gaff
>knock on the door
>dad answers
>kicks me up and down the road for moving his gear
>he eventually passes out exhausted in a puddle of his own piss
>get back to the car
>it's raised on bricks

Don't think id have any difficulty beating most of you lads in a scrap.

>>77315849
I live in a four story house in a 100% white neighbourhood in London

You should try not being a failure

>>77315937
I'd wipe you from existence

>>77315743
yes
its one of the oldest too, over 500 yrs old

>>77315934
Nice time machine mate, put my lotto on

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What's with Cornwall?

>>77315910
I used to watch valencia a lot in 2003/04 when they had aimar, baraja, mendieta, canizares, mista, albelba etc

great team

>>77315934
I don't think it's the 80s anymore darling

>>77315917
No you idiot. its a place where you can go to millions of restaurants, you can go to millions of pubs/bars, you can go to concert upon concert, you can go to the theatre, you can go to street-markets, you can explore the city on bicycle or on foot, you can go to art galleries and museums, you can go to great parks, you can go to ancient buildings. the list goes on.

what can you do in the shithole you live in? post about how you're glad that not even 3rd worlders want to go near it?

>>77315934
Wahey yesssss Deano lad hahahaha bloody Poorthern TWATS haha

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>Lives in a mortgaged 2 bedroom house several miles outside the ring road of a major city
>Successful and ambitious, but only within a very limited set of horizons (working in a high street bank, estate agent, etc.)
>Very proud of his middling success and jumps to put down others for their perceived failures
>Very concerned with what sort of car he drives
>Shops at Sainsbury's, which he considers upmarket. Special occasions merit a trip to Marks and Spencer
>Only books in the house are cookery books, mostly limited to Jamie Oliver. A couple of Gordon Ramsay books for special occasions
>Wears polyester suits to nightclubs
>Has an extreme short back and sides haircut.
>Uses hair products
>Has a study which he often refers to as a 'man cave'
>Has a matching sofa set
>Owns a games console
>Owns a set of champagne flutes
>Once considered buying a motorised tie rack
>Eats turkey at Christmas
>Watches ITV and has a Sky subscription
>Depending on his generation, he either went to the 'university of life', or read a meme subject at a plate glass/ex-poly. Isn't an Oxbridge reject because he didn't even apply for Oxbridge
>Has Bradley Walsh reaction images saved on his hard drive

>>77316000
Except you don't do any of that shit, rather spend a good third of each day posting about living in London

>>77315980
>>77315997
Northerners absolutely SEETHING at the sight of such a harmless post

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The virgin tea

>>77315958
>100% white neighborhood
>London

nah. bet theres absolutely loads of rich chinks and arabs on the same street as you

>>77316000
>London is the only city where there are restaurants
>You have to live in London to visit them
hmmmm...

>>77316023
No. A few French and Americans though

SCREAMING
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cO0_15LOYCA

>>77316019
>I was just pretending to trade on Jurassic-aged stereotypes

>>77316017
because i no longer live in london. i instead live in one of the 'nice towns' everyone keeps listing and i'm utterly bored out my skull.

Recommend any good documentaries lads? Something inspirational and feels-provoking would be great

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>>77315937
doubt it lad, im 5 foot 7 and built and like a tenured dodgems operator
could pull your arms from their sockets if i felt like it

>>77316073
I don't think the north has progressed to the jurassic yet mate

Scandal in the Vatican

>>77316019
well yeah
it's completely irrelevant in today's north for the most part

>>77316080
Louis Theroux prison doc or the gambling one or the porn one is good

>>77316049
London has more restaurants. London has the best restaurants. London has more variety of restaurants.

simple as mate
not everyone wants to just restrict themselves to scoffing down parmos up teeside like.

>that's not a culture, it's just loads of people from loads of different places
>that's not a forest, it's just loads of trees standing close to each other
>that's not an ocean, it's just loads of water droplets next to each other

umm ok

>talk to londoner about pakis
>OMGGGG wtf stop being so racist and tribal we are all one world one human race!
>talk to londoner about northerners
>WTFFFFF BLOODY SUBHUMAN SHITHOLE THAT PLACE IS! NOTHING GOOD CAN COME FROM THERE
state

londons nice but too expensive

you can get by on a low wage but its utterly soul crushing. reckon £45k+ is the threshold

would love to get tongue raped by Venom

lived in London for four grim years for uni and I can confirm that most of the stereotypes posted here about it are true

Would stab a puppy for a £3 tesco meal deal

>>77316080
Adolf Hitler: The Greatest Story Never Told

>>77316088
fitting seeing as I'll spark you one in your jaw and you'll be sliding around the place like one of your gay little cars DO NOT get brave with me son I'm 5'4 and built like a TV Licensing Enforcement Officer

>>77316000
i can find resteraunts elsewhere. all major cities have loads of placrs that serve loads of world cuisine. and bars/pubs. they are also much cheaper and not filled with cunts.

>what can you do in the shithole you live in

breathe clean air, commute without bad traffic, walk absolutely anywhere safely at any hour, take a 20 minute drive to moorland, get along with all my neighbours, as well as do everything you just listed about London, at half the cost.

>>77315910
ya, I clocked that.
>>77315993
I cannot forget those names from playing so much FIFA 2004 and PES 3 and watching that season thanks to the 'rents' subscription.

Don't rate Lukaku

>>77316075
So go back then what do you want people to tell you?
Most sane people will never feel at ease with living somewhere you can get rando vanned, liveblogging about its upsides won't change that

>>77316146
hello nigger

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>>77316151
woah... powerful

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>London has more restaurants. London has the best restaurants. London has more variety of restaurants.
>simple as mate
>not everyone wants to just restrict themselves to scoffing down parmos up teeside like.

>>77316151
hitler dindu nuffin: the documentary

>>77316131
classism is different to racism

londoners arent racist
londoners are classist

>>77316060
dont beleive for a second

>>77316102
the actual state of this denial

>>77316177
Honestly blew my mind when I found out he was like 23

>>77316177
whatever happened to this little nigger

remember when he was blowing up a few months back

lived in the north all my life can confirm its shit

>>77316183
ummmmmmm... no sweaty x

>>77316207
was friends with a nonce

>>77316202
>>77316202
>>77316202

>>77316153
>Breathing qualifies as a funtime activity for poortheners

HOWLING

>>77316207
sold out and started doing adverts for KFC, released his own grime album and branded creps. videos get roughly 1-2k views now

honestly nowhere is good live in the UK.

London is a hell-hole.
Oxford, Cambridge, Bath, York get very boring very quickly
The other big cities are all grim (0121, Manny etc)

better off moving aborad methinks.

>>77316131
They're obsessed with us I have no idea why, probably just a safe outlet

>>77316256
Agreed, you first

>>77316111
Seen all his classic documentaries lad, but thanks.

>>77316151
Already know Hitler did nothing wrong.

watching Johnny English lads

>>77316256
'burgh