/brit/

West Sussex

>>76604489
wow what's this the 3rd OP today with this image? love it, never gets old

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anime

met a bird from Jersey earlier
was so close to asking if she knew Mark Harding but didn't have the bottle

babestation

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>well anon
>whip it out, prove it

there's nothing more humiliating than being sub 6'2

Like the gf, but also want to try sex with other women.

What do I do?

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>>76604489
stop making this fucking thread
also the only jew there is a capitalist slag

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maids

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imagine landing this badly lmao what a melt

>>76604503
5-0 innit
DA PO PO

>>76604509
Is it really? LOL

>>76604489
always obvious when roasties suck in their cheeks.

my little pony porn desu

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>>76604539
aisha and sara are both jewish though

>>76604489
from top left to bottom right
no HELL yes no
no no yes

>>76604560
Giggled

>>76604563
>those cut scars

hmm.... why do girls do this again?

I JUST FOUND OUT WHAT CLOPPING RELATES TO

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>>76604563
no they arent

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>when the Japanese economy fell into outright recession, suicides jumped 35% to over 32,000

>>76604563
>the heroin addict look

>>76604584
being a woman is hard

>>76604563
my gf (Aisha) is catholic

>>76604584
Because no one can ever understand them!

>>76604592
mental how much pressure their culture puts on work

comic strip people are the fucking worst. dilbert, garfield, the far side, calvin and hobbes, astrix. etc.... please leave your forty year old salaryman personality beneath the keyboard.

might go do a self harm

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>>76604609
aisha is about as catholic as she is irish

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love me some vicki fox

might decide to miss the deadline for university admission to binge read vicki fox

probably shouldn't the time i did that for sabrina online i hit like 2005 before i realized it was boring as shit

>>76604622
how many selfies do you lads reckon aisha has taken?

Just pissed in my mouth lads.

Tasted like popcorn. Why is this???

military recruiter saw my cut scars and was about to basically blacklist me but i said that they were scratches from climbing a fence

>>76604592
better flood their country with africans

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>>76604632

>>76604632
Whatever the number is, the vapid whore needs to stop

https://i.4cdn.org/gif/1498695536681.webm

me in the middle

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imagine finding your son is into clopping and also felt the need to call you to specifically to tell you this

>>76604660
Whilst you're at his granda's house no less

Unironically watching autistic meltdowns
Want me to post the gooduns?

want to suck nutrients and fat suspended in water catered to the needs of a human baby out of aisha's tit hole

>>76604660
its fake
>>76604680
most of them are fake

>>76604658
lolly badcock was a major roastie but it is still a shame that she retired

aisha only takes mirror selfies because her true frontcam appearance upsets her

>>76604660
>tfw you want a fursuit just because you hate your appearance and your house is cold but your parents would infer you're a furry even though you're not you just want to wear a carpet
desu wish i could work up the retard-confidence of that guy. like, i've already maxed out the parental disappointment threshold, i just want my fucking carpet.
(really this is all academic, as to buy a carpet-suit i'd have to pay some furry to build it, and i have no contacts and no interest in giving them money.)

>>76604658
Wonder if hers tasted like popcorn

girl working the register at the pizza place had self harm scars

she's so sexy though
thicc blonde teenager

why would she need to cut?
can understand if some fuggo does but not someone that literally everyone wants to be around

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>>76604705

>>76604720
her right arm is extended

>>76604705
well the front cam distorts your face.

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'skibi dibi deep da da dum do'

>>76604715
>why would she need to cut?

Because she's a nutter?

>>76604707
Slap another jumper on ffs.

>>76604658
>>76604701
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-4649014/Big-Brother-s-Isabelle-cautioned-urinates.html
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-4649014/Big-Brother-s-Isabelle-cautioned-urinates.html

state of bb these days

>>76604733
how does that mean shes using a mirror?

>>76604734
front cam is accurate

>>76604720
where can i find more of her content

business idea: start a long-haul airline where every passenger sits in a toilet cubicle and call it "wankair"

>>76604720
she thinks she's a special little snowflake because muh communism and muh irish heritage, she's an 1/8th irish, the fucking celtic scarf in the background

imagine being that much of a cunt

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WTF is wrong with the shape of her head?

http://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1498559528092.webm

>>76604769
FAS

>>76604688
These are kinda younger kids

THEY HAVE AUTISM SERVICE DOGS

>tfw no autism service doggo :(

>>76604770
kek

>>76604765
>>76604765
this aggression more than anything is from her unattainability

>>76604765
mad virgin lol

wish my willy was bigger imho

>>76604759
she took a bunch of blind rear cam pics and found the only one that looked natural

>>76604770
>>>/wsg/ylyl

>>76604770
heheh

shout out to the lad who told me to check out interpol
didn't think much of 'turn on the bright lights at first', but i listened to it again today and it's literally a 10/10 album.
untitled is a god-tier opener
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pcaeq4KDjpQ

>>76604803
interpol went shit after antics

>>76604770
lol

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has this made the rounds in /brit/ yet? posting anyway

lori buckby

>>76604769
Looks like a fucking dolphin

>tfw you never have autism meltdowns because the depression has sapped all your energy.

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"take a picture" by filter is the best song ever

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>>76604803
Instantly closed the tab

Get this normie trash outta here

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>>76604758
lel, BB is quality tv shite

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>>76604603
ie. the thinking man's kink

3 guys are hiking through the woods when they find a lamp. One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie.
It booms "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes." The first guy immediately blurts out "I want a billion dollars." POOF, he's holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact 1,000,000,003.50
The second man thinks for a bit, then says "I want to be the richest man alive." POOF, he's holding papers showing his net worth is now well over 100 billion.
The third guy thinks even longer about his wish, then says "I want my left arm to rotate clockwise for the rest of my life." POOF, his arm starts rotating.
The Genie tells them it's time for their second wish.
First guy says: "I want to be married to the most beautiful woman on earth." POOF, a stunning beauty wraps herself around his arm.
Second guy says "I want to be good-looking and charismatic, so I can have every girl I want." POOF, his looks change and the first guy's wife immediately starts flirting with him.
Third guy says "I want my right arm to rotate counter-clockwise until I die." POOF, now both his arms are rotating, in opposite directions.
The genie tells them to think very carefully about their third wish.
First guy does, and after a while says "I never want to become sick or injured, I want to stay healthy until I die." POOF, his complexion improves, his acne is gone and his knees don't bother him any more.
Second guy says "I never want to grow old. I want to stay 29 forever." POOF, he looks younger already.
Third guy smiles triumphantly and says "My last wish is for my head to nod back and forth." POOF, he's now nodding his head and still flailing his arms around.
The genie wishes them good luck, disappears, and the men soon go their separate ways.

Pt2 coming

any cucklad in?

>>76604853

Many years later they meet again and chat about how things have been going. First guy is ecstatic: "I've invested the money and multiplied it many times over, so me and my family will be among the richest of the rich pretty much forever. My wife is a freak in the sheets, and I've never gotten so much as a cold in all these years." Second guy smiles and says "Well, I built charities worldwide with a fraction of my wealth, I'm still the richest guy alive and also revered for my good deeds. I haven't aged a day since we last met, and yes, your wife is pretty wild in bed."
Third guy walks in, flailing his arms around and nodding his head, and says:

"Guys, I think I fucked up."

where do these literature and liberal arts people in bongland work like aisha. there seems to be so many of them.

>>76604843
i like it

>>76604874
arogant students like her think they can just walk into a job when they can't because they studied a gay degree rather than a real degree like engineering

>>76604847
why are women so laissez faire about pissing?
i've literally seen them just bend down and piss in lines to get into concerts and stuff.

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>>76604758
>>76604847

Why do you even bother ctrl c + ctrl ving our "é" when you use words such as "cliché"?

>>76604853
there is literally never a punchline good enough for a joke this long winded

>>76604906
wtf i love girls now

theres no lightweight dishware in star trek. every coffee mug to dinner plate looks like it weighs ten pounds though i know its really them forcing some awkward future aesthetic.

major tune alert
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=biznszWdVi0

>>76604874
they clean bogs at tesco

alt gr-e produces é

>>76604907
my spellchecker adds it.

>>76604819
clare richards

>>76604875
"if you could only see" by tonic is also GOAT tier

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqMSlWzapfo

State of romania

>>76604816
Legitimately thought it was al-britani when I opened this

>>76604927
foreigners do that desu

>>76604896
>t
it should be reversed more than anything considering that women release an unorganized torrent of piss while men can gracefully aim urine like an arrow anywhere from the toilet to their own mouth

>>76604867
Don't get it.

>>76604874
Suck management dick and work for human resources burning applications from qualified cis white males

need a welsh gf

>>76604896
they have trouble controlling their fannies
many more women seem to piss themselves than men

>>76604949
sara literally complains on twitter about how she has to clean bogs and takes selfies with her work clothes on

>>76604964
Typical Irish intellectual

>>76604896
Comparing size isn't a thing with vaginas.

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furry 9/11 is my hobby

>>76604994
:s poor sara no wonder she is a communist

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pbfffffbbbbbbbbbt

been playing old school runescape for 12 hours a day for 4 days now
n-nearly got 40 str, attack and def and 60 fishing

>>76604982
They say Beatles concerts were drenched in the stuff during Beatlemania.

>>76604967
why do offices even hire nonbusiness degrees for menial work like that in bongland. our offices only hire turbo richfag brokers with degrees in physics or secretaries with english degrees outside of nonbusiness study.

Any neet man in?

>>76604590
sara is unironically

>>76605036
I have arrived

>>76605018
why do people do this? i dont know whether people who grind in video games are some kind of smart by deferring gratification so long or incredibly stupid.

>>76605018
dont care

>>76605018
can you fish swordfish yet?
that's comfy. i haven't played for a while but i binged OSRS when i was procrastinating dropping out of uni.

>>76605045
How is being neet in Australia?

>>76604995
You're more of a joke than that novel.

>>76605018
want some gold lad

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>tfw will be living by the sea studying marine engineering in 2 months time

Who /comfy/ here

>>76605060
Awful just like being neet anywhere in the world

>>76605013
>this get's posted
>immediately shows itself on /tv/

Crossposters are the worst.

t. crossposter.

>>76604959
I've seen some girls perfectly aim a stream of wee into their own mouth

>>76605085
my mouth maybe

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'skee bee de bee da bop, la bee da pope'

watching a girl have her fanny waxed on youtube

she's fully nude and there's no censoring at all

>>76605049
The journey, anon

>>76605082
really wasn't me. reckon the man just saved the image i posted and then went there given his filename is very recent (1498696989623.jpg)

>>76605101
gross!

>>76605049
Mindlessly repetitive actions that result in progress appeals to autists.

>>76605018
>tfw 400+ hours across my Runescape accounts

Ironmanning is unironically fun.

post a pic of your ideal wife

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my life is literally a green text story. i wanna get drunk to forget about everything lads

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'shoo ba dooba doop, ba doo doo'

>>76604994
She works at Tesco, they have an outside company come in to do all cleaning, whether toilets or shopfloor

>>76605085

https://i.4cdn.org/gif/1498697386616.webm

>>76605053
Yeah, but they're too slow. I'm powerfishing trout and salmon until 70 fishing so i can catch lobsters at a decent rate. It is turbocomfy.

>>76605049
>able to listen to music, read or watch netflix while fishing because you don't have to pay much attention
>having banter with 30 other autists who are fishing in the same spot
it's almost *too* comfy

>>76605136
what is ironman mode?
I literally haven't played RS in 8 years until 4 days ago

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Would it look weird if you wore a face mask in London? I don't want to breath its air anymore.

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>>76605139

>>76605170
ahh yes the power of females

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>>76605124
It was me :v)

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>>76605139

>>76605187
Think you might die if you don't breathe air mate

>>76605212
CRUSHED

>>76605220
Mr Fucking Scientist over here, eh guys?

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'leep a deep beep beep, poppa dappa deep leep peep'

>>76605101
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uh7SusD21Mk&index=1&list=PLx90Xf8SFcG7D4LeGVhv-qH1uu9Nntu1W

>>76605175
Ironman mode is basically single-player mode. You can't trade with other accounts (unless it's one-way trading bonds). YOu can do a few things with other players, but in general, you're left to fend by yourself.

>>76605227
nice

>>76605170
she swallowed it all as well

>>76605222
?

I NEED to go to bed but I still have 24 minutes of /b/ trolling the Jesus Chatline on youtube

do you find Jennifer Garner to be manly or attractive?

>>76605139
NEED a synthgf
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXw1M54WsRo

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went to the pub, got drunk and told the lads that my cousin was a gangster who got found beheaded and set on fire a few weeks ago

why does alcohol make me bullshit

>>76605273
you're already a bullshitter and alcohol makes you more of what you are

Just found your album mate

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cu-ihs4BkAs

>>76605196
Josie is a slag.

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>>76605139

>>76605273
Because you're 19.

Fuck off Zak.

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i didn't cry at my grandparent's funeral or my uncle's who i was really close to but this finally did it in for me. i've been crying like a sad cunt for like 20 minutes now

>had a really good lesbian friend in high school
>we both decided to take a year off to work before going to uni
>we got super close, we spent loads of nights together just talk about life, we went out to movies together very often, we shared every bill even though i sometimes offered to pay it
>when the year was up we were super close and we both decided to go off to uni, she went her way i went mine
>in uni i was super beta no gf or anything, deactivated facebook because it was useless and annoying
>im going home tomorrow so the only thing i was looking forward to was meeting and talking to her again once i get home for summer break
>i reactivated facebook and went to her profile only to see that she's in a relationship with a dudebro that owns a silly looking boyracer car

i fucking loved this girl. i playfully flirted with her a couple of times and she did too but we both assumed they were just jokes since she's a lesbian.

my heart just fucking sank when i saw that profile. i can't even bring myself to say hi to her

any fellow gays on tonight

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>>76605246
>he doesn't know about THE CRUSHER
Anon, I...

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>>76605139
THIIIICCCC

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'Ska ba dabba deep ba po, skabba dabba deep dat dou, skooba dooba de da dou, da daddum dou, skeeby deeby deep dap dou da bop ba bou, babba dop da dadum dou, dam da dum doe, skeeby dee bee deep pa la dum dow. la da dum doe.

>>76605297
this

cocaine shows me what I am and I hate what i see

https://www.t-51.com/clare-richards-2017-06-15/

>>76605297
i'm an honest christian lad when not influenced by the devil's brew i'll have you know

also FOY

>>76605309
nope and nope

>>76605352
>nope and nope
Sounds like something Zak would say, faggot.

>>76605331
damn guess i won't be dating her now lol

>>76605324
You can still be friends.

>>76605331
DELETE THIS

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the waifu

>>76605370
you seem a bit obsessed by this Zak fellow

why don't you go marry him you big bender

>>76605147
greentext us your story lad

>>76605399
Hello, Zak

>working late shift in back end of industrial park last few weeks
>finishing between 12 and 1 at night
>driving through park on way home
>some woman is just running aimlessly around the industrial park in the middle of the night in regular clothes several nights
>even in the rain

first night I figured she was running from an attacker or something. then I just started driving past her sprinting in random areas of the park, including the middle of the road and carparks, a few more times since

weird

>>76605399
>why don't you go marry him

You imply that I'm haven't already, gay boi

>>76605413
Hello, Zak

>>76605392
mate. for 4 years i wanted nothing more than to date her. but i knew that was never gonna happen. and her telling me stories about being with girls was pretty hot.

i can't possibly imagine her with a guy. it just breaks me man... like im so incredibly fucking jealous.

>>76605412
already did >>76605324

>>76605426
Fuck off, Zak
This is definitely something Zak would post

Why do they call the country Togo Togo
cause when you get there you want Togo somewhere else!

>>76605420
Probably a female autist doing her routine. I've encountered a couple of them in similar circumstances

>>76605227
12 year old me would have wanked his dick raw to this

do you lads find her to be good looking?
>>76605398

>>76605331
remember /mu/ and /fit/ were actually good for a while

>all this Zak posting

I don't even know who is zak anymore

t. Zak

>>76605420
looking for that dick

>>76605464
nah not really

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*enters the thread*
Out of my way, runts

new word: shimmick

a portmanteau of shit gimmick, to be used when a gimmick is shit

example: look at >>76605468 what a shimmick

>>76605484
why precisely?

>>76605497
very shimmicky

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>>76605497
You shimmicking fool.

>>76605497
what's wrong, Zak?
don't like people laughing at your expense?

Why are all the women in "Vikings" so good looking?

zack or zach = straight, friendly man in his early twenties

zak = lives and dies by the cock

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First love of my life turned out to be a lesbian
Second one was out of my league and only interested in guys 10+ years older

Hasn't been another one for the last 6 years

he's carrying on with his shimmick

>>76605545
>he's from brisbane

>>76605510
don't know. her face isn't very cute

absolutely hate how much i like shimmick

>>76605554
Have I touched a raw nerve, Zak?

>>76605568
but she'll make godly sons...

who here regularly miscalculates their league to the detriment of their self esteem? i always assume i'd be able to obtain girls i see or know only to see them later with tall good looking guys. i feel like elliott in how i assume my decent facial aesthetics make up for being an autistic manlet.

Just to be clear, Jesus was the prophet of Allah !!

>>76605565
Sydney

ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK

>>76605324
jason is that you

>>76605545
hey at least it wasn't
>she pretended to be lesbian around me and got addicted to dick as soon as she got to university
>>76605324

>>76605582
Hard to calculate my league if I don't get any play to begin with

>>76605582
People tell me I could do better with every girl I've been with but I think that's utter nonsense. Its the same as girls saying "oh I don't know how you're single anon, oh but with me! hehe"

>>76605609
neither do i obviously but you'd (virgin) assume that coupling is between people equal in looks when in reality most men date down.

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>10%

Are you serious?

>>76605616
not with me*

Also Leicester Falcons > all

And just to be clear, Zak was the prophet of Allah !!

Girls had sex with: 0
Girls kissed: 0
Girls flirted with: 1 (unsuccessful)
Girls hugged: 4
Girls had a "conversation with": 4
prove your more autistic than i am

>>76605638
didnae read yer post hen xx

>>76605616
>People tell me I could do better with every girl I've been with i.e., you'd make a "good husband"
translation: youre a boring stable guy i'd settle down with to provide for me

>>76605638
not sure that i care a great deal, if at all tbqhwy

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what does the ol chap mean by this

shimmick levels are getting too high

>>76605638
commenting to let you know that i will not be reading this essay

>>76605655
I'm neither boring nor stable though. They were talking about looks

>>76605650
Girls had sex with: 0
Girls kissed: 0
Girls flirted with: 0
Girls hugged: 0
Girls had a "conversation with": ?

Always feel optimistic when I wake up but after a few hours I just want to go back to sleep or die

>banned from /tv/ for off-topic

wtf???? All I did was BRAAAAAP post????

This shimmick gimmick is so po-mo.

TeensLoveAnal - The Passion Of The Poop Hole - Alana Summers [1080p].mp4

1.58 GB >>76605694

>>76605650
Girls had sex with: 0
Girls kissed: 0
Girls flirted with: 0
Girls that have ironically hugged me: several
Girls had a "conversation with": several
Girls I've been friends with: 0
Parties I've been to: 1. was bullied the entire time.

I can literally count the number of social outings (basically LAN sleep overs) I've had in the past five years with both my hands.

>>76605694
you the one who stole my shart image and posted it there?

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>what Aisha wishes she looked like...

how often do australians see big spiders etc anyway?

>>76605709
worse?

>>76605654
>>76605658
>>76605676
It's just some bong, kraut or dutchy (I don't even know) obsessed with muh germanic race and hating us for 'being such degenerate faggots' something like that...

But this "only 10% of English vocabulary is French'' statement confuses me

>>76605710
depends where you live in australia. for example, you don't see that many adders in London.

I used to be angry or envious of people who've exceeded me, but now I don't care about anything short of basic wage slavery.

>>76605700
Yes, I even stated that earlier in the thread.

For goodness sakes ameriGOAT, pay attention.

>>76605718
men and women are supposed to look virtually identical

>>76605699
>>76605683
absolute state of the pair of you yanks

>>76605719
that is accurate unless you're talking about faggot words that no one uses

>>76605710
Depends on where you live. Here in Sydney (North Shore) maybe once/twice a year, pretty much never in the city.

>Parties I've been to: 1. was bullied the entire time.
haha

>>76605683
>talking to so many females you can't count them all
NORMIEEEEEEE

i bet if i thought about it hard enough, i'd be able to count the amount of words i've said to females. it's less than 500 for sure.

>>76605733
congratulations you're mentally becoming an adult

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>>76605669
>complains about surplus population
>is currently 96 and still alive

>>76602346
http://i.4cdn.org/int/1498690122340s.jpg

>>76605719
you really didn't need to clarify, i already said I didn't care

>>76605733
>>76605756
How do I let go of ego? I am utterly miserable and self loathing unless making significant gains toward my ambitions

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Really find these girls cute

>>76605700
>>76605735
Worse thing is, I was happily participating in an IASIP thread.

Now I see how drunken one-night-stand mistakes happen...

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I NEED a big jawed gf

>>76605743
Faggot words?

>>76605779
Yea, my bad.

>>76605212

is this the kero kero bonito woman?

>>76605816
yes

>>76605782
Find arbitrary ways to claim superiority over these people (because ego only exists in comparison to other people) or become depressed.
>>76605756
dire though i dont think you quite got what I meant. I used to want to surpass my bullies and compete with my friends, but now I don't care about any competition or making up for injustices.

Pringles go off so easily.

>>76604489
right one looks like my sis

>>76605837
not the only thing
*cums on your face*

>>76605820
I am already depressed largely because of it. I have plenty of ways to claim superiority over most people but I am also aware of just how arbitrary or relatively insignificant they are.

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>>76605819

NO

SHE'S MEANT TO BE WITH ME

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looks queenly

even if you're falling, that's okay! There's a trampoline waiting for you! :3

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fucking hell lads I just farted and a load of shit came out
what the fuck is wrong with me

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>6 hours until toil
>still awake

>>76605847
she only likes yanks mate sorry x

*misses the trampoline and fUCKiNG DIES

gave oneitis my number in a PM on the messaging app our internship uses. said "in case its an emergency and everyone elses phones die at the same time you should have my number its xxxxxxx. i'm in the process of giving it to everyone" how'd i do? i then gave it to a random guy in the group as well to back up the alibi

>>76605847
consider yourself CRUSHED

>>76605859
Poor diet lad

>>76605859
Are you an american by any chance?

>>76605868
very autistic

>>76605868
>in case its an emergency and everyone elses phones die at the same time you should have my number its
If their phone dies why would the need your number?

>>76605859
Well you're covered in faeces for one

>>76605324
they all go straight eventually
t. lez sister

>>76605868
did poorly

>>76605868
literally dont have the social contact to have a oneitis unless the knowing of or possibility of knowing them is a requirement of being a oneitis

i flirted with a girl once. once.
she was a lesbo though.

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>>76605860
>180 hours until toil
>still awake

>>76605891
lesbians are disgusting. the pinnacle of hedonism and man envy in women.

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We currently seek people who have:

• A positive outlook

• Willing to put in the effort

• A vibrant personality

• An enthusiastic attitude

>>76605912
state of me. feels like i need to hibernate for a few months and start anew. who else?

>>76605912
wow its like they found 4 things I precisely don't have

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>>76605895

>>76605820
i understand perfectly what you meant

part of being an adult is letting go (aka not caring about) of the child part of your life

unpopular opinion: linkin park are good

>>76605912
these descriptors plus ones about socialisation make me want to kill myself during a job interview.

i saw my dream job on an old documentary, there were people who just snapped together atari cartridge games, then put them into a console to see if it worked, then put it back on a conveyor belt for packaging. doing that all day listening to my music would be my dream job. simple, easy, no talking to people, no stress.

>>76605941
is*

>>76605935
you're literally gay if you wouldn't fuck this qt desu

>>76605954
>>76605954
>>76605954
>>76605954
>>76605954