Any Ruskie here that could give me a tl;dr on what's written

Ok

>>76477101
Looks like unintelligible gibberish, not Russian

>>76477101
It looks like Ukrainian, but the actual text reads like complete nonsense

>>76477101
It's Ukrainian, not Russian.

>>76479647
>>76479993
There's a difference?

>>76480521
Is there a difference between Spanish and Portuguese or Italian even?

>>76480673
I only speak English

>>76480702
It was a rhetorical question. Nobody expects from an american to know a second language

>>76480780
That's rude

>>76480953
But true

>>76477101
It looks Ukrainian or maybe some form of surzhik (a Russo-Ukrainian creole), but here's what I got (? marks the words I don't know meaning of):

Aлe (?) вoни iх влacний (?) нapoд. У мeнe нeмae нiякoгo кoнтpoлю нaд тим, якy фopмy вoни пpинимaють. Їх здopoвя, фopмa їх нociл вoни з'являютcя, тo вoни бyдyть ?

I вoни бyдyть ?, мoi
мapeньки (?) чyдeca, вoнни пoвиннi вибpaти тoи ? я шyкaв тaкaoвгo...

Як дaлeкo ми пpocyнyтиcя, нacкiлькa дopoгa вce ? идe. I вce