/brit/

>>76393778
Upa RA

haha alri lads

can't wait for the sweet release of death desu

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>>76393728
>1956
>walk through my office pinching every sexy mid 20s word processor girl's ass
>joke with my boss as I grab my briefcase and head home
>cruise with the windows down listening to some big band music
>come home as my kids greet me with hugs and my wife let's me know the roast is in the oven
>walk in and hang my hat and coat on the hanger, undo my tie and pet my dog
>head into the den, kick my feet up and watch some formulaic sitcom with racial jokes
>grab my pipe off the shelf and kick my feet up

Born just a few decades too late, me thinks

>>76393790
what's the point of this post

>job advert or interview invitation is vague on what the company actually does

literally a pyramid scheme

entertain me, filth

*smashes into the thread*

do you read sutter cane?

Need money for cigarettes, drugs and alcohol

>>76393703
doubt it's very hard to be a policeman

>>76393832
incredible post

>>76393824
my state has more people than your "country" lol

>>76393839
get a work visa in the Cara-Bee-In

>>76393852
nigger

nee a swedish bf

>>76393823
i applied for a job like that, turned out to be in an animal test laboratory so they really didnt like anyone knowing who they were going to be workig for until they had checked em out.

>>76393836
all right wingers are comedians because the left have abandoned humour

NBN went live in my area. Suppose I should swap over & cross my fingers. Haha

>>76393852
hello beaner

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>>76393878

>>76393879
another one is

>employer has all candidates sign a nondisclosure document confirming they are not a journalist

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>>76393903
JESUS FUCKING PUT IT AWAY GYYYEEERRRT

>>76393883
im afraid to get it because i heard it comes with a static ip and i won't be able to ban evade anymore

>>76393903
what's going on in this image

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>all right wingers are comedians because the left have abandoned humour

>>76393903
what the fuck is wrong with your hand

Just went into my prossie sister's room to check if the cat was in there and to ask for my 2 grand back. She was wearing my turtleneck looking at a picture of our dead uncle. To make things worse the phimosis is playing up again and I have no matches on Tinder

>>76393946
phimo

Found a really good russian techno playlist

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left humor

>>76393941
lol. It depends what ISP you go with. Most ISP's use dynamic unless otherwise requested.

>>76393903
>being uncircumcised

the state of (absolute) swedes

>>76393941
if you switch go out with a bang

>>76393973
swole

>>76393965
exquisite post

*does that italian finger kissing gesture*

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>>76393814
you forget the part where the milkman shags your wife whilst you're at work and you come home and slap her around a bit for speaking to you before you've had some scotch

I've been getting alot of Poo in the loo Microsoft scammers lately ringing the landline. I'll kill the landline when swapping.

>>76393903
how is his penis stretching to his lips

choon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k85mRPqvMbE

>>76393965
all me

>Heat

>>76394031
why did he have a willy

>>76393973
amazing how Always Sunny managed to predict her so well

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6z3VBOvDL4

Doing an ol' depression

>>76393973
Lold at the shot coming out all my holes part ngl

Are you a depressed neet?
Microdosing!
https://youtu.be/Hbkgr3ZR2yA

You're welcome lads.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfVsfOSbJY0

>>76394068
Nothing more runty than microdosing mongs

>>76394059
might be mental

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>>76393929
>>76393951
>>76393946
>>76393985
>>76394024
its a claw

>>76394053
anything i can do to hasten your descent into suicide?

>>76394085
omg id raTher lis en 2 justing bieber >__>

>>76394085
Every day is a Friday when you're a neet x

>>76394100
ah yes
grim

>>76394100
gnarly dude

>>76394107
Yeah do a practical demonstration on yourself first so I know what to do

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>>76394100

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>>76394003
>her name is always margaret
>you always blame her for making you hit her
>she apologizes endlessly and the neighbors close their blinds because that's other people's business
>you poor another scotch (neat) and head back into the office to watch a stagg flick

>>76394177
>poor

:/

Need a femdom gf

*poors myself a drink*

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me and the mates

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if you can get through the entire seven minutes, god bless you no pun intended

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzIEpcHfVYc

hate being pour

>>76394226
me lurking in the bushes

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>INTP

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>tfw you're poors are clogged but your to pour to be alcohol pads

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Well, time for me to hit the sack.

>another night with no gf

Goodnight lads.

>>76394231
1:40

i became a cat person within 24 hours about a fortnight ago

>>76394031
amazing how they almost got 3 minutes out of that gimmick

shit's coming out all my holes lads
even the proverbial holes in my fingers whilst doing this post

>be employer
>receive cv
>'oh a graduate, better bag him fast'

kek no one ever says this

>>76394279
sounds like you've had enough alcohol pads already mate!!!!! hahahaha x

>be employed
>receive cv
>'oh he worked as a brickie on his stepdad's site, better bag him fast'

>>76393814
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBCbPzl0LrQ

University is nursery for people over 18 (not going to call them adults)

drank some coffee and now have to poo x

Ah yes... a 2:1, very impressive
*crumples up CV and throws it in the bin*

should i put my 7.3 inch penis on my cv lads?

had a slice of toast with a press fee

hello brits

>>76394373
Work is just school for adults - a place to keep them contained with meaningless busy work

>>76394383
>>76394357


why is it saying all my iamges are corrupt

I wish the milkman would deliver my milk
when I'm yawning

>>76394400
Stop hacking our elections

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>University is nursery for people over 18 (not going to call them adults)

>>76394400
get out of our thread slav trash

what places in britain pay for spunk deposits?

>>76394409
Stop posting viruses you fucking hacker

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>>76393814

>>76394429
yer mam

>>76394374
me too :3

>>76394429
Your mum's face

>>76394429
your mum's house

>>76394432
sorry lid need nick clegg to become pm

>>76394429
yer ma's house

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>>76394458

>>76394418
>>76394429
why are you so rude
>>76394427
and you are not even brit

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>can't even get a job in a supermarket despite being a graduate

>>76394429
yer maw

>>76394469
you dont have what it takes x

need a beckinsale gf

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>>76394444
>>76394452
>>76394454
>>76394460
>>76394474

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>>76394469
i don't believe you

>>76394400
пoчeмy ты здecь pyccкий нaхaл

14 + cats around.

Jesus fear for the life of the anonymouse

cannot honestly ever visualise myself living a happy life

I actively dislike a solid 95% of other humans and can barely tolerate the remainder. I'm going to be a lonely depressed miserable cunt for my entire existence. Waiting for the day that something finally clicks in my brain and suicide becomes an option.

why do lefties love radical islam so much?

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aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

might have an ironic wank to gay porn

>>76394511
just be yourself

>>76394516
how can being leader of the lib dems be inconsistent with christian faith but being a lib dem MP isn't

>>76394522
bit gay

>>76394492
just)))))

>нaхaл
sounds gay

>>76394511
nope nope nope

just about got there with the gimmick to get a (You) ;3

>>76394511
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DF0zefuJ4Ys

anon, we need to talk

>>76394536
retard

>>76394536
he just said its ironic you dumb cunt

>>76394515
genuinely think they're working to destroy our countries

>>76394534
dunno haha

>>76394511
>i despise everyone
>but desperately long for everyone's approval, my life literally depends on it
Pick one

>>76394543
ты гeй бpaтaн?

A lone wolf fridge-freezer was responsible for the the Grenfell tower fire

>>76394574
>>76394575
heathens both of you ironic or not still a bit gay

>>76394589
нeт a ты?

>>76394567
reminds me of the greatest moment in sitcom history

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbEkKa-W55s

really want to do a dr cox breakdown

>>76394595
it was literally a "hotpoint"

the irony couldn't be any more delightful

Yesterday my brother ate my scotch egg I left in the fridge, it led to a fist fight between us and our other brother, I called one of them a closet faggot and (accidently) shoved my mum
No one's spoken since, she wrote us all a letter before leaving for her night shift which was pretty deep
Pissed off because I'm genuinely not in the wrong but I've been made the villain again cause I'm the oldest, Im not even the biggest fan of fucking scotch eggs

Remember when Farage tried to get 23rd June to be renamed Independence Day

>hate 95% of people
>"love scrubs lol JD is so goofy"

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>was raised on a diet of sugary cereal and ready meals because mummy and daddy both worked full-time minimum wage jobs just to exist
>tarquinn gets to eat fresh sushi and other exotic dishes prepared by their in-house chef every day

>>76394638
>faggot
fuck off yank

>>76394515
makes me laugh that Buddhism isn't popular with these sorts of people anymore as it was in the 90s because the Dalai Lama and other people have stopped trying to pander to them and dared to criticize liberal democracy and Islam

>>76394645
2 different people, you mong

>>76394641
happy independence day brother

shadilay

>>76394611
нo ты yвepeн?

4chan x has this stupid bug where the (You) notification doesn't disappear once i've read the reply. annoying.

anyone remember super cuckio 64?

>>76394685
first world problems

>>76394685
>not using Clover

You are a phonebro, right?

>>76394638
You shoved your ma which presumably caused the escalation to actual physical violence beyond regulation sibling conflict

It's your fault

>>76394680
нa 100%, пoчeмy ты cпpaшивaeшь? этoт тpeд для гeeв?

>>76394663
As Brit as they come lad, I just said it in the moment cause I thought it'd hurt more than just gay if it turns out to be true

>>76394687
heard theres this mod thats basically the super mario 64 engine with new levels thats on par with the original

should try it out sometime

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>>76394709
huh

>>76394687
I am remember your mum

>>76394638
>fist fighting over a scotch egg
>physically beating your mother

Your family is scum, but you are scum even compared to them

>>76394638
closet faggot doesn't just roll off the tongue
consciously edgy insult

>>76394515
It's brown and anti-west, what's not to like?

anyone remember the cuckio meme

imagine being such a underclass runt that you have a physical altercation over a fucking scotch egg.

love willies but hate gay porn

>>76394615
Shweeewhhh

do like a scotch egg tho tbf

>>76394781
gay porn is just nowhere near the level of straight porn yet

t. gay guy

>>76394776
It's not about the egg, it's about disrespect. Anon did good, you have to keep the young ones in check. If anon doesn't teach them to stay in their place somebody else will.

radical centrist sources of news:
the FT
the Economist
Foreign Policy
Vox

>>76394708
ecли этoт тpeд для гeeв тo твoe мecтo здecь aхaхaхa

Honestly think I could become a famous actor if I auditioned for a role

>>76394820
And bodyslamming his mum is fine too, just collateral damage?

anyone remember the vuvlio meme

>>76394638
>fighting over a literal scotch egg
absolute fucking state of your family

had to do a poo but didnt give it enough time so now im stuck feeling uncomfortable

>>76394832
Ecли этoт тpeд для гeeв тo я yхoжy aхaхaхaхa

anyone remember playing cuckhunt back in the day

Like scotch eggs but only if you eat the outside then the egg

>>76394877
i generally do this.

>>76394877
>actually eating the egg part

state of you

anyone remember cuckio kong 2 : cuckio's kong quest?

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me IRL

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had a fucking shit night's sleep and I've got tryouts for the soggy biscuit team later

I'll be lucky to make the reserves

>>76394892
would fight him

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>>76394823

anyone remember cuckiovania II: cuckio's quest?

a fun game to play is to eat a jam doughnut but leave just enough dough around the jam core to stop it spurting out. if you do it right you get a tasty jam egg that explodes quite pleasantly in your mouth.

*goes down to the local bottleo*

Hmm...

>>76394917
and lose

>>76394707
Pretty much this, the one who ate the egg tried squaring up to me and initiated the shove, as the eldest my instinct was to push him pack to show dominance and from there it turned, mainly from him trying to compensate from age
That's what pissed me off, the fact that it was him trying to do all the fighting yet its me who gets screamed at and blamed for it all
I was pushed in the huddle, shoved back in the heat of the moment thinking it was my other brother but turns out it was mum at which point both brothers turned on me, the other was on my side before this

>>76394744
>>76394776
Upper middle class lad, but by the time we were fighting it had become a lot more than just the egg, and as I said I accidently pushed her, no body slamming

>>76394875
ты хoтeшь пить, yхoдишь к кoмнaтa твoeгo oтцa aхaхaхa

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wish Netto was still around lads

>>76394929
bender

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Just back from a meetup with the lads x

>>76394966
>literally guilty of attempted manslaughter on his own mother, who has since fled their home in fear
>still blaming everyone else

As the eldest you should take some responsibility

>>76394966
your family sound very runtish

you should kill them all in their sleep

>>76394976
netto is here and its shit

>>76394638
How was it your scotch egg?
Why are you beating the woman that gave birth to you?

>>76394966
new-money scum

sucking off my nigger mate with aids tonight (you can't get aids via saliva)

>>76394990
me with the vagina

>>76394955
i would fight you too pidorashka

(pls don't chuck a rocket on my house thank you very much)

>>76394990
some feminist youtuber or something called sargon human garbage during her talk at whatever convention he's at and now it's all kicking off

>>76394990
Isn't that guy on the right the bank guy off game of thrones

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>>76394968
ты хoчeшь cocaть нa мaмy нo никoгдa нe бyдeшь

>>76395017
women don't deserve any more respect just because muh babies

>>76394990
ah yes, the alt right masterminds

>>76394841
Accidentally shoved. I accidentally threw a rock at my mother's face once. She probably tried to intervene in the fight and got shoved aside.

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Honestly wish I was a Deano, must be such a satisfying life, finish up your shift at JJB, head down to the pub for a pint with the lads watch the game, retire to your new build with a chinky takeaway to watch X factor with the misses

Where did our paths begin to differ, /brit/?

>>76394990
Literally table of normies on the left and table of runts on the right

Got pushed by my autistic son, he started squealing and flailing wildly because somebody at his last scotch egg which he usually inserts into his rectum. Me and my other sons had to strap him back into his autism harness and I've written him a letter to the mong hospital to come and take him away but I think he found it

>>76394990
NEED to spaff up that bint to the lefts arse and fanny

>>76395032
you can fight only with dicks go drink water you are too high on nederlande weed

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>>76395011

need a shy 5'7 curvy brunette gf.

>>76395078
>you can fight only with dicks
ye i'm trying to fight you

>>76394990
literally all runts, even the one you can't see properly

>>76394717
>As Brit as they come lad
>muh heritage

>>76395049
you're aussie why aren't you living that life?

>>76395049
JJB DOESN'T FUCKING EXIST ANY MORE YOU STUPID BRUCE RUNT

fucking hate it when JFs try and get involved, just jog on

Might get a kebab tonight. Trying to put on a few pounds before the hols

>>76395082
When you find one, if she has a twin send me her way, yeah lad?

>>76395119
absolute newcunt

>>76395095
fuck off go play with someone's dick else

>>76395113
because I'm not a normie, they can smell it on me from a mile away

>>76395119
runt

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhuN3pN6ROU

fucking hell. cant believe people in this day and age literally believe satan exists and he forces people to do bad things.

>>76395128
Stop funding terrorism

Logged into Facebook for the first time in years and all my runtoid school "mates" have sent me friend requests

Disgusting, really hate Facebook

might respec to fire x

>>76395017
I bought and left it in the fridge for my lunch, but for the kid who cries if you touch anything he owns to take it just took the piss

>>76395005
To be fair I think this is the worst we've ever fought, it's not as if it's an everyday occurence, lots of issues reached boiling point

She hasn't woken up from her shift yet but I'm not really sure what to say, I haven't really got anything to say to any of them
I genuinely think I deserve an apology from at least the brother if not mum, I'm fed up of constantly being the scapegoat for their issues just because I'm the oldest

DEANOooo! DEANOOoooooo!

>>76395151
>playing wow after i quit
lol nerd

>>76395143
You'll back me up on this, right? Aussies are the normiest people ever which means that the non-normies are wayyyy more autisty relative to the normies.

Just my experience.

>>76395150
why do you lie on the internet?

Got an awful headache after last nights cheeseboard

>>76395134
>>76395143
you two know fucking nowt

the deano gimmick was a beautifully woven tapestry created by myself and another poster, and I won't have it sullied with this nonsense

JJB is now sports direct, JD Sports is what you're looking for

fucking gimps

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>fucking hell. cant believe people in this day and age literally believe satan exists and he forces people to do bad things.

>>76395160
Apologise to your mother

>>76395038
я yжe cocy нa твoю блять мaмy

consider myself a significant influence in the creation of the deano gimmick

>>76395160
So tell them that, but without beating your mum. Keep your hands in your pockets if she makes you that mad you have to hit her, maybe try sitting on your hands?

I genuinely had a dream I hit my mum last night lol

>>76395178
Book of Job lad, he does it because God let's him

my dogecoin wallet isn't loading
worried

what the actual fuck is wrong with Yanks

they systematically mutilate the genitals of male children to be made into moisturisers? absolute fucking freaks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7JzdcZPvzg

satan told me to vote corbyn

>>76395186
edgy

>>76395164
playing vanilla x

>>76395170
FOB

>>76395186
Didn't know you spoke communist, mate

Was checking my old harddrives from childhood at my parents house. Found a folder called 'Bitcoin' with a file called BTC.dat inside it. Figure it's a wallet file. VERY excited to see if it has BTC in it.

I'm never going to live in shared accommodation ever again. Never ever will I have a roommate. NEED my own space.

>>76395210
since when did steve nigger get his own show what the fuck

>>76395256
How much kiddie porn was on it?

>>76395186
Do NOT speak in another language, it upsets one Austrlian very much

>>76395275
You're mistaking me for Thailad

>>76395260
you'll probably be in shared accommodation for the next five years

>>76395260
Quite like it desu. You would rather live in a one bed by yourself?

>>76395284
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha good post

reply to this post or you will have not replied to this post

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>racemixing is wro-

>>76395320
FOMO is making me reply to this post

>>76395198
Hahaha thanks I'll try to contain my rage, I wouldn't want to hit her and even in the moment that wasn't my aim
It's nothing I haven't told her before but she just has genuine delusions where she doesn't see it happening, I mean even in the letter she wrote explicitly that the youngest was to blame because of his aggression, yet the next 3 pages are criticizing every inch of my personality and my girlfriend's for some reason, I'm fed up that I get the blame for everything because the youngest is too spoilt that he can't do anything wrong and the middle has battled with depression for so long that she's too scared to criticize me, it just means I get 3x as much

>>76395183
I will apologise to her for pushing once I get an apology for how I'm treated in the house, I've had it for too long now and it's pissing me off

>>76395327
ng

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>>76395329
my little puppet

>>76395327
why are they looks retarded?

love jam

especially apricot or strawberry

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is the summer over now? I only got about 6 hours in the sun this week

>>76395327
ah yes, a white person with tainted blood

very good

>>76395337
How old are you?
Move the fuck out and man up, try to move out without hitting your mum.

>>76395160
how old are they? what's the age gap?

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>>76395223
пpoбдeмa?

>>76395233
>>76395276
I only speak english lads, it's all google translate ;)

*clobbers your mum with a scotch egg*

>first sister is a junior doctor
>second sister is a teacher
>brother is in the coast guard
>I'm in private banking
>all my siblings in public jobs then I'm in the most elitist job possible

Not quite sure how that happened haha

>>76395337
Louie's finally snapped

>>76395403
Crickey

orchestrating a wank

>>76395387
22 but I'm still at Uni, trust me once I've finished and got some finance behind me I'll be out of here

>>76395387
18, 20 and 22

>>76395337
Also, post pics of the letter
Maybe if your mum had a job that wasn't at night, like a literal whore, she wouldn't have children that beat her and each other over scotch eggs (runt food)

Initiate wank sequence

>>76395370
both runt tier

marmalade and raspberry jam are the only two decent options

>>76395405
fuck off Beauregard

>>76395424
Last one was for >>76395389

>>76395424
You fucked up the response, try again but without hitting your mum this time.

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me on t' right

>>76395337
you hit your mum you fucking dropkick. how do you expect an apology from her?

>>76395300
I can afford a studio

>>76395311
Of course. Fed up of grotty cunt housemates making noise and being twats. I don't know why anyone would voluntarily opt to share a house if they could afford to live alone.

when's the last time you cried?

either lay me a new egg or I'll lay you out

>there are people already at glasto

I'm only going tonight at 6pm lmaoooo

>>76395434
marmalade gets old pretty quickly

raspberry jam is solid though

>>76395472
Doing one right now

>>76395466
I like living in house shares but I think a lot depends on the people you live with.

Just find a gf and move in with her

>>76395475
>glasto
grim

>>76395260
What's so bad about it lad? Do you not have siblings or how is it different to living with siblings?

>>76395472
Had a solid 15 minute weep last night when I spilt soy milk all down myself. Literally crying over spilt milk now I think about it Hahahaha

>>76395481
I actually am. still tearing up after having to put the cat down, my only friend since I was a kid.

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Love a bit Renee

>>76395499
Innit, two of my friends asked me if I wanted to go - nah mate I'd rather off myself.

>>76395405
>brother is a surgeon
>sister is a lawyer
>i'm an ugly, autistic NEET

haha really think they used up all my parent's chad genetics

>>76395503
How is living in a house with randomers the same as living in a family home with siblings? Daft thing

>>76395505
>soy milk

feminisation leads to excessive crying

Shocking

>>76395505
this post was made by a woman

>>76395479
>marmalade gets old pretty quickly
bollocks, you can keep a marmalade sandwich under your hat for years

>>76395506
Hahaha what happened to the cat? It's the last pussy you'll ever have

Fucking hate runts that care about cats, get a fucking dog boyo

>>76395505
It's the soy, turned you into a sissy

>>76395506
;_;

>>76395424
as a 22 year old you should be trusted not to sperg out and openly fight a brother four years younger than you
you're also old enough that you can't whinge about being trusted to be responsible. maybe not with a 20 year old brother tbf

>>76395528
no i mean i get tired of eating it

>>76395528
OY OY Paddington reference

pikeys causing problems in my city again.

>>76395505
>soy milk
>crying

Post boipucci

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>>marmalade gets old pretty quickly
>bollocks, you can keep a marmalade sandwich under your hat for years

>>76395558
Christian terrorists mate>>76395558

What is the best degree for literally walking in to a job lads?

>brothers are neets
>sister is a neet
>I've had more jobs than all my siblings combined and am currently the only gainfully employed member of the family
woah

love beating women

>>76395522
>how is living with other people the same as living with other people

Really makes you thingk

You have to be a turbo autist to live with people for any amount of time and for them to still be "strangers"

>>76395580
History

>>76395580
about 16 degrees I'd say, not too warm not too cold

>>76395580
shoe tester

>>76395580
engineering

>>76395580
electrical engineering at a top 5 uni

>>76395580
Medicine Dentistry Veterinary science

>>76395558
Travellers are the only group over here who people are openly "racist" against and nobody gives a fuck, because they're all subhumans

Good feel

>>76395584
You and the other lad should make a club - would you consider beating your mum over a soctch egg?

>>76395596
lol

>>76395587
I make no apologies for being autistic. Enjoy your house share, normie.

>>76395617
hehe

NEW

>>76395630
>>76395630
>>76395630

>>76395580
maths
300k starting usually

are minor degrees a thing in britain? like here you can get major in electrical engineering and a minor in japanese or some shit, whatever you want. you have to have a minor at most unis

>>76395592
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

(good post)

>>76395641
no

>>76395641
No but sounds good actually

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>>76395392
дa y нac пpoблeмa дpyг мoй

>>76394501
Actually more like 20+ cats.

Seriously they breed like rabbits which is a type of rodent that probably wouldn't last longaround here.

>>76394615
You're a good person anon if you felt anything watching that.

If you did then you need to not want to kill yourself if you're the person who is wanting to want to an hero.