I wanted to return to a thread I saw today and answer this question: Why don't you respect the personal decision of an adult of ending his life? who do you think you are to decide on other's right to exist? It's long wait for the rest
Part 1: If there is even a small chance that we can help someone to change his decision, using any means necessary, like persuading him into starting taking pills (you may think its all psychiatric and pharmaceutic jewry but these goddamn pills really do help), talking about stuff and showing things from different perspectives, taking other actions like helping pay up debts or let a lonely soul into our house, making them welcome and being there for them. If there is a chance, if we see that we can help someone improve his life thus preventing them from dying - then we should at least try.
Life can be very difficult but in most cases things change. If you can do something to change somethings in your life, accepting that it can take a lot of time and cost a lot of sweat, you should consider yourself very lucky. I've seen things regular people don't know and never will. I've seen tragic and truly hopeless cases. Imagine a person who's life experiences were so bad it made him lose his senses and since then he stuck forever in a very dark and scary place, somewhere in his own fragmented mind. In the situation where we are certain - and only then - that there is nothing we can do to bring him back or at least lessen his suffering he should be given a way, an open door to gentle death that he can chose when he feels that the pain is too great.
I don't judge people who try to attempt suicides, whether it's for real or it's yet another not fully realized crying out for help . I don't call them cowards, fools or assume that they were always weak. Some of them were putting up a fight with their own demons for a long, long time. It's not strange that at some point they were completely deprived of all fuel and finally had to give in.
Part 2: Leaving suicide notes and making goodbyes with people, telling openly or suggesting that we are gonna do it like it happened on /int/ today is just a cry for help. Poor bastards eat these pills and drink vodka but help usually arrives fast so there is a very small chance they would really die. What follows is help served to them whether they want it or not. I've been there. There was a time in my youth when I felt really hopeless and miserable all the time. I decided I don't want to live like this anymore. I overdosed pills and said my last goodbyes. I passed out but not for long. I awoke in a bright room with a tube in my mouth. At first I was confused but then I grew angry. I told everyone that I'm an adult and I should be free to do whatever I like with my life, including ending it. They didn't like what they heard, the doctors and the like. I was forced into a psychiatric hospital and locked up. Feeling scared and angry I spent first week wallowing in self-pity and cursing my fate. But things started to change. One morning I woke up and realized that I don't feel like killing myself anymore, and I learned why - meds started working and weakened the symptoms making everything more bearable. The biggest shock that changed me forever came with realizing how much real tragedy surrounds me. I kept seeing them walking down the corridors, the dangerous lunatics as I thought about them then, they scared me because they seemed so alien, so unlike you and me, so not here and now. I couldn't leave and run to outside world where everything was normal and making sense. But well, I was stuck in a looney bin and there was no way to change it.
Last one: I observed these weird people walking around for some time, then I decided to move closer and I started listening to what were they trying to say. I wanted to know them better and finally learned about all their unique stories, all the torment they had to go through and I felt a lot of feels. The weight of their experiences and the amount of tragedies and misfortunes falling on them made my own troubles seem really small. Now I know that their old minds were gone because they couldn't take it anymore and that they will never be the same again but at least I saw their souls. After some weeks I left hospital and returned to so called normal world.
Few years later I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and nearly lost my mind when I started hallucinating, feeling paranoia and losing contact with reality for some periods of time. My mind is serving me horros and sometimes I think about death. But fuck it, o, I won't try it ever again.
The end. Maybe after reading this you will call me a nutcase and ignore every word but if there is a small chance that my message will reach someone and sink in their mind then I will call it a night.
I made mistakes sorry I was writing in some kind of trance
bump cause all must see
>>76214464