/brit/

WUBA

Stupid reddit cunts

If dubs I get a british passport

Reminder Yank soho is contrived and imitative

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Face of a wage slave

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*votes sinn fein*

ignore the Yank gaylord

>>76218294
>>76218294
>>76218294
>>76218294
>>76218294

I'm learning to drive and I'm older than the driving instructor. Bit embarrassing if I'm being honest pals

el tunisiANO

babestation

daytime

>>76220129
fuck off threadsplitting newcunt

soHO

>>76220075
barbiturate overdose

BOOM

dont forget to sub to r/atheism morty

>>76220129
bit late now lad

>>76220131
switch to an older teacher. don't be mark corrigan

>>76220129
pathetic

don't want a job
I'll just spend all my money on drugs and prostitutes

>>76220122

imagine pretending to be into history then going to uni only to drop out to go and stack shelves in tesco

can not read the word "barbiturate" without thinking of that stuff barbers put their tools in to disinfect them

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>>76220162


Soho!

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never had a job
can't drive
have no friends
kissless handholdless virgin

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anime

>>76220243
are you ugly lad?

>>76220165
difficult to get

OOOH LA
SHE WAS SUCH A GOOD GIRL TO ME

>>76220209
That's barbicide, lad.

Really need to commit barbicide myself actually

>>76220243
all me

>>76220208
She dropped out of the first year history course at some noname uni as well because it was 'too hard'. Would love to see her do some actual work

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Woes has finally snapped lads

@76220209
fascinating
*sips pint and points behind you*
Hang on mate I think that's Davie
*walks away and mutters 'wanker' under my breath*

TURN ON FOX NEWS RIGHT NOW

TURN ON FOX NEWS RIGHT NOW

TURN ON FOX NEWS RIGHT NOW

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>>76220243
same

>>76220243
how old are you

Need a new facebook cover photo, any ideas

>>76220273
Simply bought of any dark net market. If you're at all invested in offing yourself an extra 30 minutes of work to get bitcoins and make a purchase is worth it for barbiturates.

>>76220305
24

>>76220298
"no"

>>76220302
not even lifting it

>>76220324
bit of a problem there lad

>>76220305
18

>>76220298
Good use of a classic gimmick, Canada.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWAsI3U2EaE

looking for my own golden brown

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>>76220315
this

>>76220332
now I don't know who to trust

>>76220315
Text "Legend" and an arrow pointing at your profile picture

>>76220321
break it down for me. how do i do this shit

>>76220342

kek, doesn't fit the dimensions though

*scuttles through the thread*

>>76220385
Who do I text it to?

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>alarm set for 10 hours and 34 minutes from now

naomi watts is still a babe with great feet
i reckon ol' liev has a foot fetish

*posts*

*goes on indeed*
*types in "Manchester*
*sets distance to 15 miles*

ah yes, the so-called "evening"

having a cup of tea to try and cool down... no I'm not crazy - just British! lol!

*pfffft*

AW! 'SCUSE ME LADS, AW! HAHA AW, THAT STINKS, SORRY LADS HAHA AW THAT'S A BAD ONE HAHA

HE CAN SMELL IT! LOOK AT HIM! CAN YOU SMELL IT? HAHAHA AW! EGGY!

>>76220425
why are you going to bed at half 8 lol

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>>76220315
Cant go wrong

>>76220390
is google broken? let me check

hmm no it isn't

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hmm

weird how there is an area in London with such an uncharacteristically english name as Kilburn

sounds like it belongs here or in the scottish highlands

>>76220449
*inhales deeply*

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bedtime in 2 hours

work in the morning

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>>76220243
>constantly watch videos of hot girls calling me a worthless pathetic loser to make my willy do humiliated cummies

Hanging and jumping off very high things have massive success rates. I don't think people should kill themselves but I don't think it's a difficult thing to do

>>76220465
deep

love black people
hate niggers
simple ass

>>76220469
fuark, neck routine Brendan?

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>>76220315

>>76220435
go down there and meet the boss in person. then squat in the reception until they hire you

>>76220255
post more sex tit amein

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>>76220465
woah...

>>76220465
unstoppable mind expansion

is there a site like wikifeet but for armpits?

>>76220505
too shy to do that

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7rkk2d4EBs

banger

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Bums and tums

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this is beautiful

>>76220483
Hanging is a bad idea because you can mess up in many ways (wrong type of rope, wrong type of knot, wrong posture, wrong type of fixture, ...), but jumping off a very tall structure headfirst is pretty much foolproof, so I agree.

>>76220483
Everyone who jumps and survives says they immediately and very strongly regret jumping. Makes sense really.

>>76220523
you tried wikiarmpit lad?

>>76220465
my peon pineal gland was not designed for such enlightenment

>>76220534

body of a female runtoid

didnt she say she was a virgin
>>76218735

>>76220467
How is Kilburn not an english name

plenty of places are named -burn here
pretty sure there's a Kilburn here in Yorkshire at that

>>76220550
not like the successful ones will be regretting it for long

>>76220579
timothy james byrne

>>76220539
fake, this is shopped

>>76220578
lad...

sucking a nigger

>>76220541
Hanging seems pretty easy, people hang themselves by accident

>>76220578
considering she used to tweet about how much she liked it when her bf spunked on her face, i doubt it

tried to hang myself with a tow rope the other day but it didn't work because it wasn't proper hanging rope

>>76220578
are you mental?

ah yes, sunday, the day most people have off

why don't we force all the shops to be closed too? wouldn't that be a brilliant idea?

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>>76220506

>The successful candidate will be smart, presentable and reliable, who are ideally from a catering background, but more importantly should be passionate about great food and service, with a can do attitude.

oh fuck off

>>76220581
We don't know that. If there is an afterlife, it's probably not going to much better for a suicide.

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>harrowment upon the cockcrow

>>76220642
gf on the bottom

someone give me aisha's new twitter please

>>76220642
OwO

>>76220618
source please

>>76220578
lefty women are all skanks unless theyre ugly

>>76220641
I work Monday-saturday every single week. I can't get to the bank or post office or doctor fucking ever

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>>76220539
>hot water ran out half way through the shower when I had a full lather of shampoo in

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>RUNT! RUNT! RUNTOID! RUNT!! RUNTOID!!!
>RORKE RORKE RORKE RASHEED RASHEED RORKE RORKE ---RADICAL CENTRIST---
>HELLO NIGGER HELLO 'DIT '' ' ' ' ''' love pints simple as
>POO POO POO WILLY POO BUM POO! DOING A POO FORM MY BUM HAHA

Tried blowing myself up but survived because I accidently used anti tank munitions

http://www.boobpedia.com/boobs/Savannah_Gold

the former gf

>>76220693
nothing wrong with being sex positive

>>76220699
I'll lather you in a minute boy

Business idea: Hairdresser that is only open when the majority of the working public are NOT at work, ie. 5pm-12am weeknights, plus 9am-5pm Sat and Sun.

>>76220642
gf on the top

wily willy bum bum
poo wank poo wank

>>76220700
back in your cage IMMEDIATELY or it's the pot for you, runt

>>76220641
>Closing shops on sundays

Glad I dont live in Europe

>>76220534
should be illegal

>>76220641
um sweetie sorry but Britain is a christian country

>>76220748
me too

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>>76220578

>

>>76220697
The wife/girlfriend is supposed to do those things while you're at work.

You do have a wife/girlfriend, Anon..?

>>76220699
>having a hot shower in weather like this

are you bananas?

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I fucking hate how hot this country is

literally 2 minutes after showering I get swampass because I'm sweating so much

GIB VISA PLEASE ;_;

>>76220731
only place i can use means i have to miss my bus

>>76220697
you're online right now you thick cunt.

>>76220579
cause anything with a Kil-prefix is almost always gaelic/celtic in origin

nowhere else in London or England as a whole afaik has one

>>76220786
hello nigger

>>76220334
deeb web mate

did a wee in the deep end of my local swimming pool
the lifeguard blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in

>>76220786
no

>>76220814
nice

>>76220814
haha

>>76220731
How has nobody figured this out yet?

ooh KFC are hiring
mcdonalds too!

wow I should DEFINITELY be applying for these shite jobs

>>76220814
haha

>>76220770
I have a gf yes. She also has a job and finds it quite hard to go to the doctor for me anyway

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>Ameri Ichinose
Retroactive 'great taste la'

>>76220800
oh

Don't think Kil- is a prefix in the case of Kilburn, it's just what it's called.

>>76220770
how could his wife/girlfriend go to the doctor for him?

>>76220852
cheers mate, shame she's retired now

underneath girl's boobs gets all sweaty like another set of armpits

>>76220839
They have. A lot of barbers open on Saturdays or open late and finish at 7

>>76220794
None of those places are open you mongo

>Fuck off billionaire
>Rasheed
>Runt
>Rorke
>Rorkesheed
>BizarroRorke
>FONT
>FOY
>JF
>Ball-Busting
>orchestrating a wank
>pints
>the gf
>ah yes
>brext
>nige
>paki
>london
>cornetto
>alri
>JUST
>Wakefield posting
>fedora posting
>@posting
>*walks away*
>virgin posting
>babestation
>haha
>arse
>rosie
>maisie
>slagtits
>the walking man
>tim byrne
>kev

what do girls' arseholes smell like

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why would someone want to work for free in some shitty and smelly charity shop full of annoying old people?

>>76220839
I dunno, maybe nobody wants to work those unsociable hours and demands more pay, which leads to prohibitively high overheads.

I would've thought the increased trade would more than make up for that though.

applying for a front desk job at a local hotel as we speak
cannot WAIT to get my own shiny metal name tag

>>76220902
FOY

no better feeling in the world that spooning a girl with a nice bit of chub after you've just shagged her and cup a big fat feel of her boobies, nips still standing to attention

Girls generally have pretty terrible hygiene

>>76220877
Skype

>>76220888
sweat doesn't stink to opposite sex, benders will attack me for this

what are your IRL gimmicks?

>>76220814
*tags smiffy jezza and keith*

>>76220814
*likes*
@Smithy Boyd look at this ahaha

>>76220914
Jobcentre forced me to do one of these back in the day

>>76220940
what do their arses smell like

>>76220941
what if the doctor needs to have a little poke around

>>76220902
all me

>>76220802
hi tyrone

>>76220902
one of those gimmicks is mine.

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>>76220937

>>76220945
havin g sex

>>76220955
sweat and stale poo

>>76220945
I'm incredibly boring and an emotional drain on people around me

>>76220937
i wish i knew this feeling

>>76220954
Pro tip just sign off then sign back on immediately, get a different advisor and continue doing nothing

>>76220945
Been saying shan't and *walks away* in the group chat lately and they are loving it

might start howling

Thanks /brit/

>>76220902
not a single photon

>>76220267
nah
>>76220305
21

>>76220958
He should be doing that in his own time, and certainly not while a patient's missus is present.

too hot to wank

love cumming just don't like being covered in sweat simple as

>>76220937
if you want to fuck a pig then just fuck a pig

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should i buy one or would doing so be mental?

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>Ant McPartlin checks into rehab for alcohol and drug problem

he's starting to look more like Brendan by the day

>>76221040
doopin mental

>>76220902
some quality gimmicks there ngl

>>76220912
sniffed my gf's bumhole a while ago and it legitimately smelt of dark chocolate, was quite nice

>>76220925
know someone who had this job

she's making jewelry now

when i see white familes and white children out and about i feel like they are my fellow Brits who I love even though we don't know each other but when isee black or brown people i don't even consider them the same nationality as me

>>76220968
have you ever seen grass

>>76220243

chance would be a fine thing!

>>76221040
I'd rather just endure the 2 hot weeks a year but ultimately it's your life and you should do what feels right
(but dont buy it, this isnt fucking greece)

>>76220920
Mon cher, je méprise les femmes pour ne pas les aimer car autrement la vie serait un mélodrame trop ridicule

>>76220937
FONT

>>76221076
what about asians

just booked a hotel room for the gfs birthday lads

gonna fuck her silly

>>76221082
its also a heater innit

*gets legally drunk off of light beer and pisses like a horse all over you little sister*

>>76221082
why greece of any hot country lmao

>>76220243

had 4 jobs
can't drive
have 1 friend
kissless virgin (aged 29)

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didnt get the job

>>76221072
ever licked it?

>it's a "mum shouts at me for being a 22 year old NEET" episode

I keep telling her that there aren't any good jobs that I can get, and that I don't want to do a shit job that I won't enjoy
why can't she understand this?

>>76221044
Actually thought t was for a sec (from the thumbnail)
Poor la

>go to Grandparents today
>they're talking about the fire in London
>"I looked at the list of victims - not one English name, how is that integration"

>tfw rorke grandparents

*bursts through your floorboords, snuffling frantically for food*
*squeals and dives back into cover as I hear you yelling and running towards the noise from the other room*

>>76221140
mildly amusing

Unless she's just had a shower you'll almost certainly get a faint whiff of shit during doggy

>>76221130
it was the first one I thought of
well actually the first one was sri lanka but I thought that might be too esoteric for this famously poorly-travelled and geographically challenged hellhole of a general

>>76221169
she's from a time when jobs were plentiful and paid well
it's thanks to people like her that the post-war economy was left to slip away

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pic is me rn

>>76220945
I dip me bollocks onto my mates forehead while spotting his bench lmao

>>76220912
depends

it will smell like nothing if she showered recently or it will probably smell a bit like sweat if not

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>>76220539

insane to think this had a live audience of millions, and a worldwide tv audience of hundreds of millions

wish i wasn't at school that day and could have watched the second plane live

miss the belarus gimmick

Asked if I could eat a girls arse one time after cunnilingus and the prude said no

>>76220714
other than it being disgusting, sure.

when i see working-class familes and working-class children out and about i feel like they are my fellow proletariat who I love even though we don't know each other but when isee middle or upper class people i don't even consider them the same socioeconomic class as me

>>76221140
chuckled a little

>>76220550

Not true, someone survived a fall off the golden gate bridge but went back the next day and successfully died

>>76221180
clearly they didn't look well
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-40282153

>>76221140
would be funnier if it said "unable to calculate a route for you" or something to that effect

>>76221044
>aw dec man mah deelah rite 'ee goes ey ant man if ye's aftah yoh bag o' drugs an' that meet us at bykah grove
>ah goes bykah grove are yoo tekken tha fooken mykal or summat an 'e goes oh rite ant man 'cos yoo was on bykah grove oh man i divven even think ahhhhh
>ah goes fook off man yoos tekken tha mykel an ah goes fukken menn'al at 'im anna cut 'im an now i've gorra go dah re'ab man judge sez

>aw ant man worra yoo like?

*just literally screams*

Was talking to one of my leftie mates about the fire. He said someone needs to pay for this and when asked who he answered 'the rich'. Lefties

>>76220578

she probably lost it when she was about 14, she's a fucking slapper, she tweets about her love of anal, tweets photos of her lube, photos of her arse

>>76221297
*soothes you*

>>76221220
genuinely didnt find out until I got home from school and the towers had already collapsed

>>76221202
Not him but I hear that often, but never bothered to learn exactly why/how that happened
Maybe I should read some Lauren Southern?

>>76221169
>WHILE YOU LIVE IN THIS HOUSE YOU DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR LIFE
*moves out*

Heh.

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opinions of him?

how can a girl love anal? whats in it for them?

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>>76221220
Based on the position of the aircraft from eyewitness statements and video footage, the aircraft was in a banking left turn in its final moments, as it appeared that the plane might have otherwise missed the building or merely scraped it with its wing. Upon crashing, the plane was banked left. Those who were on the left side of the plane would, therefore, have had a clear view of the towers approaching, with one burning, until the final moment of the flight.[16]

>>76221320
rawr x3 nuzzles how are you pounces on you you're so warm o3o notices you have a bulge o: someone's happy ;) nuzzles your necky wecky~ murr~ hehehe rubbies your bulgy wolgy you're so big :oooo rubbies more on your bulgy wolgy it doesn't stop growing ·///· kisses you and lickies your necky daddy likies (; nuzzles wuzzles I hope daddy really likes $: wiggles butt and squirms I want to see your big daddy meat~ wiggles butt I have a little itch o3o wags tail can you please get my itch~ puts paws on your chest nyea~ its a seven inch itch rubs your chest can you help me pwease squirms pwetty pwease sad face I need to be punished runs paws down your chest and bites lip like I need to be punished really good~ paws on your bulge as I lick my lips I'm getting thirsty. I can go for some milk unbuttons your pants as my eyes glow you smell so musky :v licks shaft mmmm~ so musky drools all over your cock your daddy meat I like fondles Mr. Fuzzy Balls hehe puts snout on balls and inhales deeply oh god im so hard~ licks balls punish me daddy~ nyea~ squirms more and wiggles butt I love your musky goodness bites lip please punish me licks lips nyea~ suckles on your tip so good licks pre of your cock salty goodness~ eyes role back and goes balls deep mmmm~ moans and suckles

>>76221320
*lunges at you, grabs your nipples and twists violently*

>>76221187
not true

last night you were in my room

>>76221044
hope Ant & Dec can pull himself through this one

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>>76221375
>Lauren Southern
brainlet
the true intellectuals of our time are Milo & PJW

>>76221292
kek

>>76221375
women began working, and HR departments became a thing

>>76221383
Domination. Why would a girl like being slapped or choked?
My gf loves being choked and I love doing it

>>76221399
read every word of this :3

>>76221220

you can tell from the extreme bend of the wings that the 767 was being pushed to its design limit with this manoeuvre

it dove from 40,000ft to impact in under 5 minutes
some estimate the impact speed at 590-620mph
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgve7yG7DG8

>>76221226
i'm working my way up to it

been playing with her bum more, kissing it, spreading her cheeks to look etc

definitely gonna give it a lick at some point

>>76221434
brainlet

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJw1V8wpFes

smasher

>>76221044
needs to move his whole face up about an inch

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The gf

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>>76221399

>>76221459
alright then mr smarty pants, post the correct answer if you think you know everything

rly rly bored
have the entirety of human knowledge and artistic endeavour available at my fingertips and I am still posting about women's arseholes on /brit/

>>76221448
crazy to think a desert goatherd with a boxcutter did this

literally can't imagine the smell of a drunk girl's vag when she has been sitting, sweating and weeing all night

>>76221514
oh my sweet summer child

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>PJW

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the only actual intellectual of our time is the lad typing this very post

>>76221503
i reject the premise altogether

Gf once blasted my arse during 69 when we were both wrecked. Was years ago and she's not done it since. Not going to ask for it cause that would be bent

>>76221574
because...?

Do the English like the Welsh

>>76221553
Really not that bad 2bh

obviously it's not as fresh as after a shower but if you're not a virgin you don't give a fuck

why are there a faction of tories who are so hard for the hardest brexit possible? cant help but think they're doing it cos they get something out of it

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>>76221514

Most of them were nobodies but the 4 pilots were actually middle class and all educated at german universities

i also believe it was likely that mohammed atta was gay

>>76221558
>haha I was just pretending to be retarded

>>76221591
I hate the Welsh. you were asking me righ?

>>76221588
the economy is great and jobs are more plentiful and pay better than the postwar era

>>76221591
welsh are literally english except they have a secret language

>>76221603
do you lose your sense of smell along with your virginity?

>>76221375
neoliberalism
thatcher
reagan
erosion of unions
globalisation
de-industrialisation

alri grandad

still remember early on in 9/11 when they were speculating that it was a Colombian drug dealer that did it

what's that little runt? Come closer so daddy can hear your squeals, there's a good little runt

*as you excitedly waddle to within arm's reach I pick you up and fucking dropkick you into the river, your stubby little legs wriggling as you fly squealing hysterically through the air, defecating and pissing as you spin creating an effect not unlike a Catherine wheel*

heheh.... fucking runts

Anyone have that one song they can't listen to because they associate it with a terrible experience? I can't listen to wasted by tiesto

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anybody else's facial hair completely skip their chin and jaw?

heh it's not the "end of history" but we do have 2, now 3 generations who grew up without any "major disasters or events" in the UK. I'm not talking ~IRA stuff, I'm talking full on war. Remember most of the UK's history has been war. War at sea, war at home, war in Europe. We have a population now who doesn't know what it's like to live in actual hardship (myself included of course).

>>76221693
i can't listen to that song because it's awful

>>76221693
is that supposed to be a bad thing?

>>76221693
can't listen to any nick drake because it reminds me too much of a girl who I accidentally killed and ate

>>76221634
ah but this just means that there's more shit jobs with shit hours
also the pay doesn't matter because the price of goods, services, houses etc... goes up as pay goes up

What kind of people are the welsh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnxqpb3rzPU

>>76221711
brilliant documentation of virgin facial hair

>>76221713
uh I woke up this morning with no milk to make tea with, dont you fucking dare insinuate I don't know about pain and hardship you son of a bitch

>>76221711
no because my mum has jewish and iranian genes

I have hair literally everywhere

>>76221755
it was ever thus

but even after inflation the average brit is still richer and lives a better life than in 1950

>>76221687
heard in the days folowing it might even have been the Cubans haha

This just in! Gibraltar attacked by an lone wolf terrorist Spaniard pretending he's Welsh.

>>76214320
>>76214320
>>76214320
new old new

>>76221771
>>76221771
>>76221771

>>76221693
I have entire albums that I can't listen to anymore because I associate them with extended periods of depression and/or drug abuse

most of the CSNY discography for example is ruined because I went on a massive months-long amphetamine and alcohol depression bender while listening to it haha

>>76221834
let me see

>>76221634
>jobs are more plentiful and pay better than the postwar era
howling
we had full employment back then
we haven't come remotely close to that since the thatcher era

>>76221811
so?
the jobs are still shit and they're harder to get because of shitty HR departments asking you to spend half an hour filling in a shitty questionnaire so that they can select the best candidate
this is made even harder by having ~500 candidates to compete with

>>76221777
How does such a scenario even occur?

Britain is a mistake.

Just doing a vicarious visit to the doctors for my boyfriend

>>76221834
>>76221839
virgin fight

>>76221861
jobs today are far more pleasant, generally

>>76221788
Ah, you seem to be lost my friend. I believe Reddit is that way *points westwards*

>>76221927
that's not a fucking argument you autistic kike

>>76221693
>one song

have too many such songs. usually revolving around the death of my various childhood dogs (even though I don't have one for the time I watched my mother die of cancer when I was a teenager)

...
yeah

>>76221169
Ah yes, the "i wanna play video games while i live for free and my parents pay for everything" argument

>>76221921
Should add best poster as well :)

REFUSE to have my post replied to by a namefag.

>>76222161
no
I'd love to have a good job that wasn't shit

>>76221210
cheeky