/brit/

janny will not like this

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The Southern Powerhouse

So what happens if your home burns down, do the home insurance companies buy you a new home or pay the value of your home to you? Genuinely no idea because I'm a manchild.

>>76059138
stupid reddit cunt

>>76059275
you go homeless

>3 news
janny is going to do his nut this time

>>76059275
Pay for flights and accomodation in Mecca.

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at least manchester tower blocks are pretty

>>76059138
BOOM

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>You arrive in London, c.2045AD

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>stupid reddit cunt

>>76059275
You become homeless and start begging on the streets, isn't it.

>>76059275
They pay to have it rebuilt*

*the value of what they consider it would take to rebuild, and you have the choice to go with their contractor (who are normally shit) or you pay a bit out of pocket to get somone decent to do it. They'll also pay you the value of the contents if you have it.

I want to stop living with the guilt and frustration of being a lonely wanker. Whether I watch porn or not doesn't make a difference.

I'd rather not wank at all than wank without porn. And I'd rather be a loser who doesn't live with the shame of pathetically wanking himself to sleep every night.

>>76059275
My mate's family house burned down ages ago, pretty sure they got money equal to the value of their house because their current house is massive.

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>>76059310
>this is supposedly one of the nicest parts of London

ban fridge radicalisation

>>76059307
>This is supposed to be a modern tower block

Kek, most of the ones in London are 70s social housing trash
Is this supposed to be a luxury apartment? what a fucking shithole the north is

Imagine being attractive to women: they initiate conversations with you, flirt with you, fantasise about being your gf. Imagine that.

Cant wait for the 'ol Rick and Morty to come out lads.

>>76059355
poo coloured hands with severe burns typed this post

>>76059275
depends on liability and value of your insurance. you could end up in a hotel or premier inn while they inspect and repair the damage or you could end up in your parents spare bedroom with your five weans and starting from the ground up

some stupid nigger gave an interview where he said "they" started the fire deliberately because they want to rid their area of poor people

are coons this fucking stupid?

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do atheists really believe that trees and humans have a common ancestor? and yet they laugh at us for believing in God?

>>76059355
>luxury apartment
no it's a block of flats
filled with gays and old people
quite a nice area nowadays since they knocked down all the shit parts of the council estate

POO!

best thing on the mcdonalds menu is the quarterpounder

>>76059404
yes
t. lives in a city that is 30% white

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just got my new Private Eye

i will be generously providing you all with select portions that i found risible over the next half hour

no need to thank me, its quite alright- i do it for free ;^)

Obsessed with girls' poos and farts

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>>76059355
>tfw birmingham ones are also shit

are we like london now?

Love wanking

LOVE IT

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omaha beach

>>76059432
the best thing about mcdonalds is not eating it

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/news/theresa-may-internet-regulation-distraction-fragile-government-majority-coalition-activists-open-a7787661.html

thoughts/opinions?

>>76059406
tide goes in, tide goes out

you can't explain that

>>76059355
obviously a refurb of a 70s era block you runt

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>You arrive in Bolton, Galactic Capital

>>76059406
yes. evolution really isn't that hard of a concept to grasp

>>76059457
Quite literally seen this comment on reddit quite a few times.

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>>76059366
Women initiating conversations with you is the true hallmark of being sexually attractive

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>you arrive in Paris

>>76059350
It is mate, look at all the trees innit?

>>76059404
self-victimised people are always looking for someone to blame (see: 4chan)

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are Jeremy

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so glad I live in the countryside :3

>>76059448
>you will never get mowed down by a German machine gun
VERY bad feel

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Manchester tower blocks are aesthetic.

council blocks are the same across the entire country you stupid runts

>>76059416
someone posted a rental ad in one of the previous threads.
the flat was actually very well furbished

>>76059440
Are Jezza sure showed him by winning the 2017 June election!

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STAND UP IF YOU HATE THE POOR

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you arrive in the Northern Powerhouse

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Describe the difference between USA and Britain with one image.

>>76059508
>not having a second home in Surrey you also spend time in that your parents gave you
Get a load of this pleb

>>76059489
You speak from experience la?

What's your favourite Taylor Swift song lads?

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chebs

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>>76059513
>tfw they tried to make birmingham ones aesthetic with a bit of paint on the bottom

literally brazil tier

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>view from a train approaching Exeter St David's station, circa 2017

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got diagnosed with the tism

>>76059555
Blank Space

>>76059366
Women stop me when I'm walking my doggos becuase they're such cute doggos, imagine being a cute doggo!

if I ever win the lottery I would buy up the barbican and fucking demolish it as soon as possible

>>76059591
are you retarded enough to get bennies?

>>76059555
wildest dreams i think

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>>76059548

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The London Leviathan

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>>76059538
you'll like this one, my rorkeish friend ;^)

>>76059548
just havin a think about Chelsea Manning

>>76059557
Shes so fake but muh dick
honestly hate whoever invented plastic surgery. Not fair on poor folk like meself

>>76059554
No, just common sense la

Even runtoid mugs like me catch a few cheeky prolonged stares from girls. It doesn't amount to anything. You need to be attractive enough for extroverted women to approach you.

>>76059626
Indians are all middle class though

>>76059627
image really makes me think......

>>76059275
One thing I'm wondering..

As that towerblock was social housing in a wealthy area of London, will the families burned out be rehoused within west London , or will they get shifted out to the suburbs

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HOWLING
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-40281300

BBC Breaking NewsVerified account @BBCBreaking 40s41 seconds ago

Tim Farron announces he's standing down as leader of the Liberal Democrats

>>76059627
lmao jezza btfo

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:thinking:

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>Tim Farron quits as Lib Deb leader

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>you are arrive in Grimsby c.2025 home of the east midlands intergalactic space depot

>>76059666
Go to Southall and say that

>>76059627
>>76059687
consider what had preceded both of those results.

>labour in charge

>labour literally on its deathbed

>>76059697
no space for that many people

they'll get shifted all across the city and outside of it

>>76059698
>Farron says it has felt "impossible" to be LibDem leader and "living as a faithful Christian". Says he wants "to remain faithful to Christ"

Bit gay

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>>76059698
NOOOOOOOOOOO
HE WAS THE BEST MEME POLITICIAN SINCE RED ED

>>76059698
what the fuck is wrong with his facial expressions? is he actually retarded

>>76059666
you're not fooling anyone pajeet

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F

>>76059697
reckon they'll probably get put on the top of the housing waiting list.

>>76059698
what the fuck is happening here?

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>>76059698
shame
wanted /farron_frenzy/ but oh well

>>76059712
He looks like me
T. Mr existential crisis

>>76059455
She better not

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>lib dumbs

Jeb! will be the next PM of the UK

libdeds

>>76059743
it doesnt say that

>>76059743
the struggle of every true Englishman

>>76059698
>>76059703
good

who will replace him?

/brit/ is going to be banned in a matter of weeks lads

where will we go?

>>76059698
Woah just as well the LibDems didn't win the election then. Can you imagine if they'd won and then he'd quit a week later?

>>76059824
jezza

why does /brit/ make fun of betas like farron and miliband?

you're not normies are you

northerners here have some type of animosity for londoners and use every event to attack them
very weird behaviour

Forced out because he's a Christian. Absolute state of this country

>>76059863
miliband was /our guy/

>>76059840
Probably to may's secret death camps in dorset. we'll be quietly disposed of, whilst awaiting trial for treason and hate speech.

>>76059863
projection

>>76059817
It does on Twitter

Neighbours daughter is in the pool again

any of you lads know an instrument?
thinking of picking up a keyboard

>>76059868
They give as good as they get.

>>76059868
Southerners live on a different planet. They are literally in a different country

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>>76059863
>make fun of
ed and tim were literally /brits/ chosen politicians

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpPGE8NllUI

JUST A PINT A' MILK

>>76059930
what magazine is this? private eye?

>>76059868
the north has more in common with iceland and norway than the south

>>76059916
'ce

am I tough enough?

>>76059971

Yes, see:
>>76059440

>>76059956
for jokes

>>76059868
the only people who rightfully should despise london, are brummies.

>Be the most advanced city in the UK based on engineering genius and enterprenurial guile
>london is just shut some dock with some poshos living in it
>london is jealous of the midlands engine
>nazis bomb birmingham
>london gut industries from it to help the north
>london lets a bunch of socialist architects fuck up what is left of birmingham

birmingham was literally the greatest city in the UK before the second world war. it was a symbol for civic pride, engineering and industrial genius and so on. London couldn't take it so they ruined it. The north was always shit becuase they were just coal miners and coal was inefficient.

birmingham was efficient, but they killed the industry there because they thought they could redirect it to the fucking north and cement london's status. fuck london

>>76059959
that's a bottle, not a carton

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the trap house

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Spending so much time agitating over masturbation

Only abnormie weirdos think about shite like this I swear

Need to expend so much willpower just to not touch my dick

The state of my fucking life

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had a sensible cackle at this one tbqh

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grenfell tower just after the refurb

https://twitter.com/alaskantexanQCT/status/875005786086354944

ah yes america

>>76059919
Drums and guitars. Played in various bands for 15 years.

Do it, don't start with anything expensive though. You'll probably know within a week of playing whether it's for you. If you want to be in a band, I'd recommend bass guitar. There's always openings for bass since everyone wants to do the other parts, and bass guitar is probably the easiest to play to a basic level.

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>You arrive in Birmingham, c.1939

>>76060073
me walking with my bf

>>76060071
Nice one mate, saving me £1.80 here.

>>76060100
>If you want to be in a band, I'd recommend bass guitar. There's always openings for bass since everyone wants to do the other parts, and bass guitar is probably the easiest to play to a basic level.
no one wants to be the bassist though

are there people that actually like piers morgan?

>>76060118
howling

good post

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>>76060148
Americans, unbelievably

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hmmmmm.

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you arrive in Birmingham exoquadrant sector 245, AD 4005

>>76059919
Piano

out of parents bitching rather than liking it

just fell asleep haha

Think Dirrty by Christina Aguilera was the first music video I wanked to

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>>76060118
ruins the joke a bit when you don't change the file name

>>76060118
Literally was that though.

Birmingham's decline is because it got bombed and because the government put taxes on doing industry in there. For example a family friend said that in the 70s he saw an empty factory besides his own. he asked if he could buy and expand his business. the government said he could only expand if he did business in telford.

the shipping costs of going back and forth from birmingham to telford basically made him unprofitable.

https://youtu.be/c1gT9yc6eYY?t=647

NEED a finnish gf

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you arrive in the chinese powerhouse

>>76060257
abysmal banter

>>76060241
Is taht Fantano?

>>76060239
>not eric plydz call on me
pleb

>>76060282
now THAT is forward-thinking

Birmingham is a fucking hovel, worse than both the North and London

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ahaha the absolute STATE of Roger

what a butthurt little twerp

>>76060253
interesting post, people think the Birmingham smear campaign is a joke but it was very real
Birmingham had a higher average wage than London in the 60s

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Rest In Power

You watch the skies ill watch the tyrannical government

hate terrorists
love telling people I hate terrorists
simple

>>76060326
because the north and london gutted it.

birmingham was the industrial, engineering and civic pride of the UK before the Jerrries, londoner and poortherners fucked it all up

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5I_DW-9YdU

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>>76060292
yuh
off topic but ecuador has a nice flag
good job on that

more on the fire:

>"One architect, who has been responsible for several re-cladding projects but asked not to be named, said that the common rainscreen system used on Grenfell Tower is designed to include fire-breaks at every floor and around every window.

>He said that if installed correctly, flames should not be able to sweep through the cavities behind the panels because of the fire retardant breaks.

>“The issue is the cavity between the existing wall and the rainscreen,” he said. “There needs to be firestops at every floor level and around every window.”

>It is not yet known what caused the fire or how it spread. Rydon, the contractor said it “met all required building control, fire regulation and health and safety standards”.

>The architect added that 1970s blocks such as Grenfell featured “one escape stair which is not designed for a mass evacuation, but is designed for a small number of people to get out whose individual flats are on fire”.

>He said the “stay put” strategy which was in place at Grenfell was intended to stop people getting hurt if a small number of flats were on fire.

>“The ‘stay put’ strategy clearly wouldn’t work when the fire is roaring up outside the building,” he said. “That is a strategy that would lead to certain death in the circumstances of this fire.”

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Stardate 003156; 7th age. Your shipboard AI notifies you that you are approaching the ancient ringworld of Southampton

in the commission you ask for permission to hit em

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lmao @ corporate training

that's not discrimination it's fucking health and safety

if my religion dictates that I have to shove my fingers up my arse every half hour you think I should be allowed to work on the fish counter?

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>>76060144
Beggars can't be choosers. If you want to play in a band, on stage, and don't play an instrument, what are you gonna do? Not every band lets their drug dealer on stage to just dance along with them shaking maracas like The Happy Mondays did. Plus you'd need Bez's charisma to pull that off anyway. Pic related.

You can either get better than the current lead guitarist at lead guitar, though he's been playing for years. Or you can start your own band from scratch, which means finding 2+ members that play the instruments, get along with you socially, have similar musical taste, and are still at the level where they'll play with someone who just started learning. Or you can exploit the gaping hole in the market, get reasonable at bass guitar, and be earning money within the year.

ayyyyy them buildings still on fire or nah?

>>76060364
http://www.economist.com/blogs/blighty/2013/05/birmingham

Birmingham MADE this country (see Midlands enlightenment and industrial revolution)

The rise and fall of the city of Birmingham directly correlates with the rise and fall of Britain

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did a poo

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>British people don't refrigerate milk

>>76060433
He can wear those face hairnets they have in McDonalds. He is totally being discriminated against.

Does your religion require you to not wash your hands ever? If so, just wash them and work on the fish counter

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1/2

a quick doublepage spread then im off to have a wank

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>>76060334
don't quite see the issue myself

>>76060394
Thanks
yours is top notch

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F

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love curvy women, lads

Most oft-portrayed characters in fiction are:

10. Hamlet
9. Sherlock Holmes
8. Abraham Lincoln
7. Dracula
6. Hitler
5. Napoleon
4. God
3. Jesus Christ
2. Santa Claus
1. The Devil

>>76060469
honestly fucking disgusting, hate london scum

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>>76060508
part 2

>>76060434
getting in a band after teenagehood seems like a pain in the arse

>>76060529
Thank fuck for that the useless cunt

>>76060526
we know, but cheers

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>You pass into the realm of BirMin Gham, TA3019

post of mine
https://desuarchive.org/int/thread/75270211/#75272029

So unfair that I can't buy Chimay beers in the UK lads

unironically the best beer in the world

>>76060540
that's not curvy that's obese

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Reminder when a Yank posts.

>>76060587
Why can't you get it in the UK la?

>>76060489
>tfw will never revive birmingham
>tfw will never rationalise the arteries in the city and pedestrianise the ring road area which is currently council flats and estates
>tfw will never reintroduce the tram system
>tfw will never get the train system functional in all directions.
>tfw will never gentrify areas like small heath and handsworth (by rationalising their place in relation to the city centre)

there is so much that could be done in city planning terms to fix birmingham and make it attractive.

especially since london is becoming too expensive even for major businesses.

>>76060540
who is this

>>76060570
nice one la

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Any Scottish here?
How do I bantz the English? What is their weakness?

>>76060570
lmao

>>76060587
they're really common lad, you see them in tesco

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not cricket

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> the (future) wife

>>76060627
>What is their weakness?

High rise buildings and fridges apparently

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>>76060627

the west midlands should be knocked down

good evening. bit hot out
hopefully it'll cool down a little later

>>76060642
maybe im a cynical cunt but i flatout dont believe that

reckon its fake

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>>76060644
>the (future) wife

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cute boys are more my speed

>tfw too scared to post personal stories on /brit/ in case my friends/family/co-workers are spying on my posts
I WANT TO GET OFF THIS RIDE

business idea: birmingham as the new capital of the UK

no more northern/southern whinging

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>>76060716
nonce

SEVERELY addicted to interracial furry porn.

Accidentally clicked the /i/ link lads.
Hope I don't get v&

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me in the circle

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>>76060716
>>76060720

>>76060609
Mal Malloy

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>>76060716
>>76060720

>>76060750
never seen that before

link us some la'

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thicc boys are more my speed

>>76060746
looks like a marble statue
making me feel very self-conscious

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>>76060684

haha victims more like vicsims

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New background pic

Bit too cheeky lads?

>>76060557
It's a lot better when a band is a group of mates that decide to form a band. That typically happens when you're young, because people just don't have the time when they're older and have serious jobs/relationships. When a group of strangers form a band, there's usually a distinct lack of chemistry.

The biggest pain in the arse is when you've been in a band for 10 years, building up a repertoire, rapport, reputation and level of skill as a band that you can now start to cash in on (playing cruise ships was my dream gig), and then the band splits up for whatever reason. 10 years of practicing the material, honing it to perfection, gone. If you didn't have a backup plan, you're basically fucked.

>>76060743
stop expressing yourself using memes you cringey child

filthy kuffar

>>76060777
>Mal Malloy
thanks x

>>76060720
reckon he uses the bio oil for lube when wanking in bed
what is it even for? why does he need so much of it?

>>76060806
>>76060800
kids died, show some fucking respect
cunts

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hmm

yes

how come grenfell tower didnt collapse?

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-to-rent/property-57219349.html

London in the summertime
call me now us the satellite

>>76060860
*future terrorists

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bit gay in here

>>76060860
>mud people died
boo hoo

need a man from brum

>>76060874
kenwood can't melt steel beams

>>76060875
how did you get my addresss

>>76060875

>- No Smokers

>>76060875
why do council properties even exist in london?

surely london should export its poor to other cities?

>>76060213
wish i could jam some tunes on the piano

>>76060874
You're asking too many questions kiddo

>>76060874
yanks didn't plant any explosives

>>76060806

aesthetic

>>76060899
>implying a british girl would ever be this hot

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>mud people

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slags

>>76060956
very sexy

Business idea: A concert to honour the victims of the Kensington commie block fire, and to show that we as a country love and support all fire, and value it's many contributions.

>>76060988
It was a fire of peace

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>>76060958
would you prefer sandniggers?

>>76060636
No you definitely fucking don't lad

>>76060600
Because they're just not distributed over here

Only way to get it is to order it in from some website or pay 800% of the price in some hipstery imported beer shop

>>76060469
HATE the incoming labour government of 1964

>>76060968
who is she?
would love to pound her fanny senseless

>>76060899
>>76060954
lads this girl is Lilly Kruk, born 2005.

she's 11 years old.

>>76060874
it's concrete

>>76060753
reckon she's a he

>>76060874
Probably because a huge jumbo jet didn't crash into it

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>mud people died
>boo hoo

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>would you prefer sandniggers?

>>76061005
https://www.tesco.com/groceries/product/details/default.aspx?id=274891008

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are fridges our greatest allies?

not too sure that London is 95% white in the centre lads

>>76060956
wow so sexy baby
very hot and turn me on
add me on facebook

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>>76060988
>when alarm bells ring, we don't do a thing but sing
>it's sink or swim and the tide is in

>>76060988
they only did that for manny because
1. majority of victims were children
2. a lot of the child victims actually survived

the block wasn't exclusively inhabited by kids and if it there were any they're probably dead

>>76061030
dont believe you

Just great content and contributions by our resident yank posters

>>76061049
>Sorry, this product is currently not available.

Yes.

got 10 horse fly bites
Im a itchy boy

>>76061055
I went to London and it looked like something out of Oliver Twist, only the children were all black and not homeless, but living off your government's welfare. They even fought in the streets and shit. Was surreal seeing the second-world in action. Fights in the streets in broad daylight

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>>76061055
>Be British
>capital is literally an arab city
>Muslim calls to prayer every 2 hours
>bombs going off every 2 days

People forget, even as the radicalised fire was burning down the building, there were numerous other fires going to work in the internal combustion engines of the fire engines, actually helping to SAVE LIVES. Just like they do EVERY DAY. Those are the REAL fires.

>>76061103
cute

>filthy muslim cunt speaking arabic praying to allah broadcast the fire from inside live on facebook

Haha get rekt

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personal favourite

>>76060874
it wasn't burning hot enough

>>76061129
Very good post

got a hole in my chest

>>76061114
>horse fly
foy

>>76061126

enjoy getting shot :-)

got a hole in my arse

>>76061165
that's the British term as far as I am aware, what do you call them?

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NEED a beach gf

>>76061126
That's just part and parcel

Doing a depression episode

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>>76061192
mite be nice

>>76061075
>>76061075
>>76061075
new

>>76061172
wouldn't mind filling it x

>>76061186
flies

fuck off zoologist

>>76061152
wouldn't mind seeing her chebs ngl

>>76061192
jesus christ they're HUGE

>>76061192
Looks 12 somehow

>>76061224
EARLY
A
R
L
Y

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>>76061186
we call them northerners sweaty xx