/brit/

nipping over to r9k to browse the neet zoo

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>had a friend with benefits who was very distant and often wouldnt talk to me for weeks until he wanted to fuck me
>got rejected by 2 guys on the first date
>had a boyfriend for 2 months who suddently dumped me and said he didnt really know me and it was 'nothing personal'

Just realised that I have never been in any sort of relationship where I have been able to relax and be 100% confident the other guy likes me.

Thinking about the old 'cide.

>>75736498
Can it slag

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>>75736498
sad bent twat

>>75736498
this is much funnier as "had a friend on benefits"

araca

>>75736498
shut up

>>75736525
think it's a fag

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>>75736529
these are getting a bit silly
but /r9k/ sorts LOVE this sort of stuff since they have a crab mentality

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feeling a bit put upon

remember quentins anti weed comics?

ancient history

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bent aussie's gf sent me this

>>75736438
Left:
>dirty, smelly loq IQ arab nigger

Right:
>handsome, tanned Caucasoid

Touched a girl today. Touched my hand against her back. First time I've touched a girl since October 2015.

>>75736590
weed is still viewed as reddit tier here (hopefully)

>>75736498
FONT

>>75736591
What kind of person sends messages like this? Bet she's an ugly freak. Post pic.

>>75736616
theres nothing wrong with weed lad
its just talking about it thats reddit

genuinely don't think we have any purpose for email etiquette now that typing and texting in real time conversation has replaced speech
most people nowadays will leave a whatsapp message before they do a phonecall. Email is closer to that than it is sending a letter and you don't see people signing off on whatsapp with Sincerely Yours

>>75736591
Telling Ed about this

>tfw no fertile Afro Caribbean Haitian voodoo gf that will birth me athletic micknigger sons to do my bidding

https://www.xvideos.com/video22489147/ebony_osa_lovely_gets_gangbanged_on_her_birthday

Have never visited r9k shan't ever stoop that low

>>75736572
Wonder if there's been any research into this "crisis of masculinity" were having.

>>75736642
Exchanged 4000 texts with a girl before she even hinted that we should phone each other sometime. Modern communication confuses me.

>>75736656
I have an erection now

Thailad does streams or something like that?
Can I get a link, I want to hear his voice.

still waiting for my janny acceptance email hahahah

>>75736438
Is donald trump a joke?
why would the president of the most powerful country in the world get into twitter fights with a major of a city?

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maisie

sing
sing
sing to the slaves
sing to the slaves as rome burns

>>75736572
pissing and shitting at this

>>>/sp/76358074
screeching

>>75736802
link another lisicki post again and your mother will die in her sleep ;^)

I reckon I must've went to a pub at some point last night considering there's no dosh in my wallet and some cunt ripped my shirt

shissing

mugged this dirty polish cunt last night stole his money and ripped his shirt to reveal his pigeon chest and everyone laughed at him

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don't like his filthyfrank stuff but Joji's pretty good looking irl

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still difficult to believe only teesside has the mighty lemon top

>>75736872
why are you calling him by his middle name?

>>75736651
reddit

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>>75736880
FLONALD SCHLUMP

>>75736887
dunno that's just what people seem to call him, I don't really know anything about him

>>75736880
Had one in Scarborough.

>>75736872
Is that a jojo reference?

>>75736880
might take this and post it on /r/pics with the title of "This ice cream cone looks like Donald Trump" and get 50,000 upthumbs

ALL youtube """"celebrities""""" NEED to be SWIFTLY murdered or at least enlisted in the army

Devo'd the voice of Wallace died :(

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>>75736880
>two scoops

>>75736929
which is part of Größer teesside

>>75736872
he makes really good music under his joji name. Look up 'joji - medicine'

his filthyfrank music is trash tho

oi watch it I defo don't have the so called "pidgeon chest" in fact I'm fairly athletic

>>75736949
An interesting proposition I'd like to see put into fruition

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>>75736945

>>75736969
Kill Yourself is his magnum opus
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dbR2JZmlWo

hate faggots
love pints

>>75736969
yeah I've got it on one my playlists
I like this too, even though it's not by him
https://youtu.be/w28NKJJHPZM

was trying to balance my root chakra earlier and did a shart instead

>>75736964
No it isn't, you ignorant cunt.

need literal schoolchildren out this thread

>>75736765
he misinterpreted what was meant by 'don't be alarmed' . from Khan, and most people's perspective was just a cliche statement to bring cohesion in the aftermath of a dreadful event. But Trump is autistic and took it literally. And now it has flaired up his ego to the point where he won't back down until he gets a victory over khan

>>75737018
>north yorkshire
>uses correct punctuation
>is a mong
ah yes this'll be "saltburn-upon-the-sea" mong then

im constipated can someone squeeze my belly

I just love indie artists like joji, mac demarco and death grips :PPP

>>75737032
Khan has made a powerful enemy.

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me in the shower haha

>>75737056
>doesn't pan down to a dog tail sticking out of his arse
not a fan

I live in a constant state of fear and misery xDD

>>75737032
I just find it really strange that Trump would comment on something like that in the first place.
I mean, he is the leader of America, when he speaks, he speaks with the authority of USA. Why would USA care about what the majoy of london says?

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>this is the milkmans wife

Oh shit am I laffin

>>75737037
>saltburn-upon-the-sea

It's "by-the-sea", you stupid paki nonce.

>>75737056
dog mask is a bit weird but fucking hell he has a really nice and cute body I'd love to cum all over

>>75737032
yeah dont worry your litte head lad everythings fine haha part and parcel with city life
now here have some sugar filled snacks and hop back your xbox and enjoy yourself

>>75737099
That's got to be a shop mate, no way

you Auslads see Andrew Bolt clock some lefties in melbz? banterROOOOOOOOO

https://www.fb.com/TopherField/posts/1363474350356635

>>75737105
it's just saltburn you massive spaz
it's practically just been absorbed by the mighty boro now

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>>75737099
THATS A MAN BABY

>>75737094
then leave the fucking isle

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hhhnnnnnnggg

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>>75737099

>>75737056
is that the mask from death grips money store?

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>>75737099
spoiler the hog

>>75737037
>is a mong
Says you claiming Scarborough is part of Teesside.

>>75737148
it is
yorkshire is now the kingdom of teesside

>>75737141
scots are weird people

>>75737121
>police are now looking for this man

lol good luck

>>75737056
can I have a source please?

turtle you in bro?

>>75737128
Its proper name is saltburn-by-the-sea not upon-the-sea, you smelly karachi shitskin.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saltburn-by-the-Sea

>mighty boro
Filled with fat cunts, mutants and pakis. Nothing mighty about the place, The cancer of England.

why are British Lib Dems so shockingly bad compared with Australian Lib Dems

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>>75737170
>people

can't wait for Tim Farron to be deputy prime minister in two days

>>75737097
he's a small man and not really fit for the role . should be obvious

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>>75737195
they're radical centrists

>>75737175
lol YAAAAASSS sassy much????? luv u xxx

gay cunt fuck off before i chin you

benders OUT

>>75737099
Christ what was he thinking

>>75737194
easily one of the most autistic posters in /brit/
probably lives with his single mother in some shitey terraced house on a council estate in saltburn
reckon you're the alexander jahans of the north east you are

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>>75737141

>>75737213
He is objectively the biggest man that was running for president.

>>75737169
Everyone in Yorkshire doesn't even consider Middlesbrough part of it. lel

>>75737194
>The cancer of England.
lel. True. The dumb fucks there voted a Labour MP who spent most of his time in France and never held a constituency surgery in 13 years. That's how fucking pathetic Smoggies are.

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>>75737229
fuck are you on about? he said police are looking for this man while showing this photo you fucking spastic gimp

stupid bruce cunt, fuck off before I atomise you with a sneeze

Might go out and do some campaigning for the local labour mp

>>75737273
>>75737194
this is the same poster replying to himself

choon

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

choon

>>75737121
Get me a ruddy link to this without the need for me to log in to anything

>>75736765
>major
>>75737097
>majoy

Christ alive, why the fuck can't you spell it you dumb germnigger?

It's MAYOR

>>75737283
no idea what you're on about
*chins you*

do you like ze german akzent

>>75737273
>lel
dumb reddit gamer poster

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>>75737240
>claims it's saltburn-upon-the-sea
>is actually called saltburn-by-the-sea
>spergs out and calls other people autistic
>is a paki and lives on parliament road 10 to a house

Fucking state of your life, Abdul.

>>75737342
dont like or dislike it
Germans are all pretty autistic though so i have a hard time liking any of yous

easiest way to spot a spergy mong in /brit/ is the use of capital letters and punctuation

>>75737342
ohh yaa

>>75737283
don't much profit from your pissy statement you passive agressive nancy boy

please jog before your jaw is realligned

>>75737347
dumb ira bog-trotter potato nigger poster

>>75737342
it's cute :3

>>75737380
reply to me again and I'll have your skull ground up into dust under my knuckles like a pestle and mortar and sold to a Chinese businessmen to snort so that he can get a stiffy

>>75737317
My boss was sitting right next to me when I decided to start skiving. Walked out of work a half hour before my lunch is supposed to start and going to go back 15 minutes after it was supposed to end.

easiest way to spot a gay leftist redditor in /brit/ is the use of umm sweetie and x

need a bf

>>75737384
>nigger
fuck off yank

>>75737412
why you skipping work lad

>>75737372
>Germans are all pretty autistic
why exactly do you think that

>>75737421
ummmm sweaty, you're like so totally wrong on that, always stereotyping us like all white males do

baka xx

They don't go to school in Middlesbrough, which is why they get upset by caps and punctuation.

>>75737355
>10 to a house

Hahaha. last time I was in Middlesbrough there was about 50 pakis in a circle dancing in the middle of the road around a dead cat that one had run over in his car

>>75737375
Like this? Do you mean correct English?

Some of us are in the habit of typing like this because 99% of our typed communication isn't in videogame chat or deliberately runtlike to make people in /brit/ think we're cool kids.

Poser.

>>75737384
dont care what english people think so haha

>>75737464
reddit spacing

>>75737411
good post

angry banter posting is one of /brit/s diehard gimmicks

>>75737464
Going to have to agree with this.

>>75737439
>yank
fuck off paddy

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>>75737464
>Like this? Do you mean correct English? Poser.

>>75737464
cuck. also it's 'poseur'

>>75737474
Like this? Do you mean correct English?

Some of us are in the habit of typing like this because 99% of our typed communication isn't in videogame chat or deliberately runtlike to make people in /brit/ think we're cool kids.

Poser.

>>75737318
Mayonese?

>>75737477
one of my favourites, pleasure conversing with you bruce

*doffs my feathered cap to you and collects my cane by the door*

>>75737464
*makes a ring out of my thumb and index finger*
*places it on my thigh*

oi mate
you dropped your gay card

*knocks seven bells out of you for looking*

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>Like this? Do you mean correct English?

>Some of us are in the habit of typing like this because 99% of our typed communication isn't in videogame chat or deliberately runtlike to make people in /brit/ think we're cool kids.

>Poser.

It's only the pakis and chavs that disgrace our language with their runty posts

mgiht go too th shop to gte som wine jsut fanyc it

>>75737448
Fuck all being done until like 2, so I may as well sit in the house doing nothing until then, rather than sitting in work doing nothing.

have weird long hairs around my nipple

What is a chav?

need pakistani bastards out of paki shops

>>75737550
a douchebag

doing a cheeky 'oo

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>>75737461
>Hahaha. last time I was in Middlesbrough there was about 50 pakis in a circle dancing in the middle of the road around a dead cat that one had run over in his car

WTF?

>>75737464
Ignore him lad. He's the small-dicked paki that starts saying "no u" when you call him on being a small-dicked paki.

GAS THE CHADS, NORMIE WAR NOW

>>75737511
that's right scurry along you backwater waste runt

*sits back and crosses fingers with a happy sigh*

my what a nice fellow

>>75737452
I've only been there once but people are pretty unfriendly compared to Ireland. My German friends come across as downright rude half the time, they're so blunt with their opinions
also people obey the law so much. Like everyone waiting at traffic lights to go green even when theres no cars coming and leaving pubs at the exact time they close.

>>75737556
Then who is going to make the curry?

>>75737568
i know x

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>Ignore him lad. He's the small-dicked paki that starts saying "no u" when you call him on being a small-dicked paki.

>>75737575
He's from Middlesbrough, the cancer of England.

can a cracka get a blowjob a handjob or somethin i mean god damn
all them fine ass white women be given it up to them dark skin crackas

>>75737583
they dont mean to be unfriendly. in fact they really cherish your relationship when they are so direct and blunt.

>>75737594
;) x

always find shit smears on my towel after a shower

state

They see me rollin'
They hatin'

>>75737651
Clean your fucking ass.

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Me and the lads

https://i.4cdn.org/gif/1496651293457.webm

really am quite fond of this Ireland boy

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>ahh haha look at the way he walks! look at his hair! ay VIRGIN!
>HE KNOWS HIS NAME! VIRGIN! AHHHHH!

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purposefully failing my exams

>>75737651
>not fingering your arse to get the poo out of your system
grim

>>75737622
hmm, maybe. I was also in Bavaria so I couldn't even really speak German to them which was the main reason I wanted to go over haha

>>75737055
Maybe Trump just wants an excuse to yell KHAAAAAAAN?

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>Why, yes! I do indeed hail from the seaside town of Saltburn-By-The-Sea! That is the true, and one and only name of the quaint township! I dare say that anyone who calls it anything else is a Smoggie, nay, a paki!

>>75737674
they always used to call me paedo in school

was quite baffled by it really

>>75737725
nonce

>>75736591
show nuudies

>>75737744
nonce

>>75737744
what a disgusting, ugly, ratty man

>>75737725
some lads in my art class frequently said i looked like a child molester / killer until i almost cried one day then they stopped

i really showed them :^)

>>75757575 is going to be an interesting get

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>this arse blasted middlesbrough paki

>>75737763
you sound cute
*cuddles you and strokes your hair*

>>75737677
"""purposefully"""
sure lad, we believe you

>>75737756
nonce

wonder if im better or worse looking than most of /brit/

how to shag a girl that's a pricktease lads? should I keep trying or give up

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>>75737784
>he actually stopped typing like an autist because the thread made fun of him
>he still says arse because he doesn't want to sound like one of those dreadful yanks

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just popped my Labour vote in the postbox

its not too late, is it?

when did you grow out of your ugly/awkward looking phase?

I started getting more attractive at 16

Nowadays my gf tells me that the Stacys from my year in school tell her that I should be a model

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what did she mean by this?

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i like cat

>>75737827
nah

>>75737830
from 17-18 i went from grotesque uggo to actually quite attractive chad

>>75737824
You were BTFO, Abdul. >>75737464

>>75737809
seen a few cute pakis about, would love to have a go on one

>>75737830
never had that phase 2bh

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>>75737704
i khaaaan not believe you made that joke

EDIT: thanks for the gold kind redditor!!!

>>75737830
same here, used to be an ugly bastard, now I'm genuinely beautiful and handsome, told I should model

Decided to vote conservative lads.

>>75737836
oi sansa luv check out this dothraki ahah

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>Like this? Do you mean correct English?

>Some of us are in the habit of typing like this because 99% of our typed communication isn't in videogame chat or deliberately runtlike to make people in /brit/ think we're cool kids.

>Poser.

jeremy corbyn? he's got my vote

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>>75737787
thank you
*kisses you*

>>75737869
brainlet mong

>>75737836
hate when lower class people get famous
little slag

>>75737824
British people say arse
How new are you here?

>>75737869
good lad, ignore leftypol

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>>75737902
Good post
working class runts need to know their place

>>75737824
what kind of mong are you that you say ass instead of arse?
utter plankton

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>>75737836
the absolute STATE of Sophie hahahahaha

>>75737883
y-you're welcome
*blushes and kisses you back*

Pretty sure I've done the best post in this thread so far.

>failed an assignment at uni because I used american english
Not my fault their version is better and more sophisticated.

>>75737836
She's using him as a prop for her new pose she wants to try out in pics. See: that one /fit/ post

entertain me, filth

>>75737920
don't claim credit for my post

>>75737916
He's a paki from Middlesbrough.

>>75737830
aha

I grew into that as I got older

one half of my face looks completely different to the other

Bet the leftists here would have been Berniebros if they were yanks, little redditors that they are

>>75737903
nobody says arseblasted you spaz
it's an american word, and it's assblasted
it works because of the rhyme with ass and the as in blasted
unless you're actually such a spazzy twat that you pronounce blasted as blarrrrrrrrrsted whilst living in the north
>>75737916
shut it gimp boy

>>75737920
go on then, which is it?
>>75737932
haha i know the one you're talking about

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>Decided to vote conservative lads.

>>75737836
Might do a cheeky photoshop and put ribenas in this photo

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Do you think ASIO keeps a tab on every Muslim in Australia?

>>75737933
*spits in your mouth and chokes you*
urghhh, take it all you filthy shlaaag, you're filthh
*power fucks you*
filthh!!

>>75737933
*rams my thick cock down your swedish gay boy throat*

>>75737952
None of that changes how hard you got blasted in the arse.

>>75737966
do it

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Fucking state of this dumb triggered paki>>75737952

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NEED to stop wanking

>>75737981
not even a humourous post
neck thyself

>>75737981
or a rasheed

>>75737962
>go on then, which is it?
Why? So you can disagree?

You know which one. You all know.

>>75737952
>the rhyme with ass and the as in blasted
you little fucking gimp, the as in blasted is pronounced like arse
fucking dirty paki

JANNY

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>>75737981
based janny

>>75737976
>>75737978
uncanny posts chaps

I've got such a massive cock
need to put it inside a cute lad

>>75738034
hi x
you in london?

>>75738034
pic x

>>75737981
>and expires on June 8th, 2017, at 21:28 ET

hmm you shouldn't be here

JANNNNNY

>>75738019
>as in blasted is pronounced like arse
fuck off fiwfy suvvern cunt

>>75738048
hi x
I desperately wish I was

>>75737981
reported for ban evasion
also that pos wasnt even remotly entertaining

bit gay

>>75738058
hes probably just in a timezone thats ahead of ours
dont worry

>>75737966
*subscribes*

>>75738061
You need to get out of this country, nasty paki twat.

>An electrical device allows me to listen to a solid recreation of a song made almost 6,000 years ago in the ancient civilisation of sumer

https://youtu.be/QUcTsFe1PVs

Amazing desu

>>75737981
he's here :^o

so fucking sad and lonely
going to do a 'cide

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/stephen-hawking-jeremy-corbyn-labour-theresa-may-conservatives-endorsement-general-election-a7774016.html
Stephen hawking is voting labour. Take that consrvatards

business idea: tetris-like game, but really hard

>>75738134
I don't think people should vote based on who others are voting for

>>75738134
/ourlad/

>>75736438
Donald Trump has the best IQ in the world. Sadiq won't stand a chance. Sad!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RTVRlJzj80
massive choon

>>75738143
reasons i dont talk nicely to girls

>>75738134
where did the meme that scientists have any authority on political matters come from?
they have their field of expertise and people interested in politics have theirs
being clever in one thing doesn't make you clever in all things

>>75737903
>>75737916
christ you people are pathetic

only 2 more days till leftypol fuck off

>>75738143
bit gay

>>75737464
sorry bro haha

>>75738198
>>>/x/

only 2 more days until /brit/ is deleted and /pol/ is forced to fuck off

>>75738134
Got a theory that Stephen Hawking hasn't been in control of that chair or voice machine for years. He's no more than a puppet, being used for some tech-savvy kid's personal amusement.

>paki thinks saltburn-by-the-sea is actually called saltburn-upon-the-sea
>paki uses ass instead of arse
>paki hates correct grammar and punctuation
>paki gets mad because no one likes him

Ah yes, multiculturalism.

So I can trust /brit/ rorkes...or the smartest man on the planet....wonder who I'll pick

>>75738220
>>>/leftypol/

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>>75738126
*holds your hand and makes out with you*
how about now? :^)

>>75738134
>"“I regard Corbyn as a disaster," he said. "His heart is in the right place and many of his policies are sound, but he has allowed himself to be portrayed as a left wing extremist.”
Doesn't sound like a ringing endorsement

>>75738194
sorry sweaty, who the fuck are you? xx
oh that's right, you're vile canadian gay cunt shitting up a general meant for british people

>>75738229
nothing to be alarmed about. this is part and parcel of a major general on /int/

>>75738103
love this kind of stuff in dead languages
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IR464WBmA2s

old English sounds so sing-songy, a bit like Norwegian, sounds perfect for storytelling and song.
weird to think how much of language is built around singing, I know some people think song developed before proper language did.

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me on the right

>>75738234
shan't go back to a place i've never been x

excited to see everyone become poor because of brexit

watching invader zim

>>75738252
me before backing away from the camera

>>75738252
>standing that close to children
nonce

the cool thing about elections is no matter what happens i can rationalise it to feel happy

if my party wins:
>hooray, my party won, this is great
if they lose:
>heh, when the party i hate takes power theyre going to fuck everything up so next election my party is SURE to win, this is great

anyone here speak RP

>>75738282
FOY

>>75738263
maybe if britain becomes poor and we can't afford to give benefits to pakis any more they will all fuck off

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>>75738252
>record scratch
>freeze frame
>"Sooooooo, yeah, I bet right now you're probably wondering how I got here, huh?"
>footage rewinds through the entire movie like a VHS tape
>stops at a crying bloody fetus covered in various muddy fluids being lifted up and accidentally dropped by some doctors
>"Kids in America" starts playing

>>75738251
Just show the influence that French took over the English language not shortly after. I wonder how they translated ancient Egyptian, Akkadian, Sumerian, etc

>>75738244
arseblarsted eh

why do british always say oirish?
we dont even sound like that

>>75738307
nah most white british people with skills will start moving away so we'll need more immigrants

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>voting for a party that deliberately flooded your country with murderous third world rapists just to spite "racist whitey," and brazenly lied about their agenda to get away with it
No thanks.

mmm should I brush my teeth?

>>75738335
Potatoirish

>>75738252
>kev likes hokkei
good lad desu

>>75738301
fuck off leftypol

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Nothing more than bacteria in a petri dish, that's all you so-called "lads" are to me.

>>75738327
reading is one thing, but speaking I always am fascinated how they figure it out
even Roman Latin we are not entirely sure how it sounded, but probably close to Romanian considering Roman grammar books

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>>75738341
>voting for the party that had seven years and made both immigration and terrorism WORSE
no ta

>>75738355
Your dentist will be disappointed if you don't.

https://www.fb.com/politicalbible/videos/678225949034148/

so called politicians

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F

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Why do Italians commit terrorist attacks in the UK? Are they so mad about the Brexit?

>>75738222
cunt wait, la

>>75738341
>comparing current labour to new labour

umm sweetie xxx

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gate

>>75738395
WHOA who was the retard in power from 1994 to 2007? he must've been a tory dickhead right?

>>75738395
labour is just as guilty
only UKIP will save us

>>75738347
back to discord

>>75738347
I'm voting for the Lib Dems 2bh

>>75738436
>>75738436
>>75738436
>>75738436
New

>>75738453
>1994
that was in fact tories yeah

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>>75738395
>tories haven't cleaned up our mess quickly enough so you should vote for us again
What Labour has done (and would obviously do again, given the chance), will take generations, maybe centuries to fix. Not 7 years. Every gang rape and terror attack is on them.

We have an army of third world monsters in our country because Labour wanted to sneak "diversity" in. And they're a protected class because of Labour's "multi-cultural values." They're getting away with literal rape and murder because Labour decided we all need to be racially sensitive and politically correct. Whatever the Tory actions since, that is unforgiveable.

I, for one, will not be sending the message that this is acceptable, that I want more "diversity." fuck that. Voting and campaigning against Labour until the day I die.