/brit/

>>75370918
that's a 4/10 with no makeup

reeing a roo

here we are...

the lads...

>>75370918
perpetual loser, not hot

good lad

can't wait for the sperg to start spamming his thread

>>75370918
would kill for a qt rorkette gf

>>75370918
We are all in here

poo

>>75370982
wrong

>>75370918
something wrong with her eyes
think they're too small maybe

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Strong and stable

in a wet nappy

>>75371057
shan't x

Most of this board is just /pol/-lite.

I let my cat piss on my clothes

watching the manchester 10k

i like to sing, dance, pretend. aaand i like to have pints pints pints pints pints pints pints pints pints pints

come on the lads

>>75371109
sheed

want pint

>>75371097
WHAT A FUCKING BOTTLE JOB
SHE KNOWS SHE CANNOT ABSORB THE CORB

RED SUUUUUUURGE

I let my dog shit in my hair

i drink pints through a straw because i have sensitive teeth

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NO MORE DEAD COPTS

i sometimes pull fit girls and im quite average looking, what must it be like for handsome blokes

Lads, are you meant to lube your willy before putting a condom on? They never go down my willy when it's dry, it's so tight it just doesn't roll.

>>75371176
Nah youre supposed to do it after

>>75371087
one drop is too much

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NO MORE DEN GRAMBS AMBUH LEAF

have to power-hose pints up the arse because I like doing it

>>75371176
bait

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a moderate muslim just messaged me

>>75371163

goddamn hare krishnas at it again?

don't smoke but I'm tempted to buy some rolling tobacco just to see what happens

>>75371223
reeks of virginity

>>75371223
It doesnt roll itself you have to do it

having the remainder of a curry from last night

>>75371109

piss off paki nonce cunt

>>75371223
you won't be able to roll one, unless

>rolling machine

Reading a book about rejecting work

>>75371115
Post lycra slags

>>75371176
get the girl to put it on wither her mouth. or bumhole

>>75371176
condoms go on the balls

>>75371209
more like madmood lmao

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>>75371223
>>75371245
don't forget to cop a rolling machine

>>75371188
>>75371208
>>75371268
>>75371269
Fuck off I genuinely don't know, it went on easier with spit on my knob but it still crushed my bellend

Am I getting the wrong size?

>>75371263
is it that one book? you know the one i mean, came out the 70s if i'm not mistaken

>crushed my bellend

pray for this every day

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>cat miaowing at the back door at 1am to be let in
>go down bollock naked to let him in and give him a sachet of meat
>as I'm making a cup of tea cat starts making a weird miaowing sound and squats really low to the floor with his eyes wide open
>dog decides he's a threat and tries to corner him and starts growling
>cat jumps on the dining table and starts heaving like it's about to throw up
>quickly pick cat up and throw him out the back door so he can puke out there
>he scratches my bare chest as he jumps down
>dog chases him outside and tries to kill him at the bottom of the garden
>have to run out naked to grab the dog and get him back inside
>step in a turd the dog left earlier in the day as I'm pulling him back in

Don't fall for the pets meme lads.

>>75371269
https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091103054713AAjCO3z

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Check out that arse though

come on and slam and welcome to the jam

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>it went on easier with spit on my knob but it still crushed my bellend

i have better taste in music and clothes than everyone else

>>75371315
Screaming

>>75371352
>>75371315
sametwat

>>75371326
all arses look good in tight skirts

Can we revive the fuck off yank gimmick lads

Cheers x

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>John Maynard Keynes predicted in the 1930s that we'd be spending the majority of our week on leisure by the 2030s
>tfw we're still on a 5 day week

>>75371371
let's test out the theory with yours x

*posts without needing to fill in captcha*

off to the tavern for a few ales lads

>>75371367
>>75371315
i wouldnbt have read the post if someone didnt quote it. it was a good post

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>>75371306
its a more modern one.

starting to think its more of a rant about the structure of the modern, than a practical way to get me off work

>>75371300
Nah trust me you need to work it on dry then pour the lube down the inside so you dont get friction burns. I done the blue willy training in pshe i know what im talking about

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>off to the tavern for a few ales lads

want to go lie on the beach with a barbecue and a couple of icy beers

not happening though
gonna go to the shops and get some cheap lager and then drink it on my bedroom floor

maybe find some ambient beach sounds on youtube? hmm yes that sounds agreeable

>>75371403
good lad

>>75371385
t. tory voting mong

>>75371300
just tell your girl to go on the pill


why do condoms even exist after the pill was invented

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>>75371345
heavily dispute this claim

>>75371209
Trust nobody, not even yourself

All scousers should be killed

sipping an indian pale ale

fuck i love weed ay

it hell gets you high and shit

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Fuck off mong

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>>75371428
>couple of icy beers

>>75371433
?

could heem anyone posting here without breaking a sweat

you are nothing to me but another worthless insect waiting to be crushed

>>75371385
speak for yourself

Just downloaded a few new books for my Kindle to read over the bank holiday weekend - for free!

Imagine being a papercuck in 2017 lmao

love mead

>>75371458
don't see what I'm supposed to have done wrong here

>>75371477
Enjoy that zero memory retention

>>75371454
all phoneposters should be killed

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the absolute sovereign state of Katy Perry these days

looks like Katy Hopkins

>>75371454
why are your links red

>>75371505

excellent post

arab dad keeps nagging me to starve myself for the tooth fairy
why did my mum marry a shitskin

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>>75371454
>that layout scheme

>>75371523
me coming in with the tactical tit grab to the rescue

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>could heem anyone posting here without breaking a sweat
>you are nothing to me but another worthless insect waiting to be crushed

>>75371523
already know what this is and will NOT watch

>>75371477
Books are the only media I simply won't consume digitally. Physical or nothing.

>smoking

imagine being such a fucking runt, the fucking STATE of you

>>75371477
was just about to download another dozen books or so off bookzz.org but the website is down

no doubt interpol are rummaging through their servers at this very moment

>>75371523
Why is she already crying before the snap?

Yeah i guess but i mean its like yeah i suck my dogs cock sometimes but its like you know

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>>75371508
she used to be quite fit

>>75371523
how does that even happen

fucking double-jointed freaks

>>75371288
>tobacco in your spliff

EURORUNT

>>75371503
Enjoy stroking and smelling your book like an autist instead of actually reading it.

>>75371559
lmao look at this nerd.

>>75371400
faggot

>>75371508
The degeneracy gets them all in the end.

cooking some pork meatballs and diced chicken breast on my foreman grill. gonna chuck them all into a tortilla wrap with some spinach, cheddar and peri-peri sauce

>>75371094
Yeah they're a bit too small for her face

>>75370918
she is like an ugly kirsten bell

>>75371559
*takes a big drag and billows out a huge cloud of smoke in your runty face*

Just posting to reaffirm for any Rasheeds in this general that it's not banter, I genuinely hate you and want you out
x

>>75371503
what the fuck is that supposed to mean

wish i was rich enough to afford blurays for every film i like

>>75371599
i love her

>>75371508
I remember jacking it quite a bit to the California Girls video when it came out. Looks more like a California man now.

*strokes my book*
*smells it*
Book..................good
*throws it out of my tree*

>>75371559
enjoy being an upstanding citizen and getting annihilated by some paki runt driving a benz the next time you go outside while I live life to the fullest with the time I've got left

>>75371583
I do a lot more than stroke and smell it m8 :3

>>75371650
>I live life to the fullest with the time I've got left
He says on an Anime image board.

can't wait for white people to go extinct

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>cooking some pork meatballs and diced chicken breast on my foreman grill. gonna chuck them all into a tortilla wrap with some spinach, cheddar and peri-peri sauce

>>75371548
>and will NOT watch
It's shan't.
Enjoy your wild weekend here rebbit

>>75371580
We are in Europe you yank runt

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3WBWy1Rf94

choon

why is there no pepe wearing a fedora ever posted

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What books you lot reading then?

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ah yes, shantung chicken and chilli beef with special fried rice on a sunday night, nothing better x

>gf doesn't like olives
GOOD you stupid bint, all the more olives for me then

cunt

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>just finished a big cadburys bar that cost me three quid, might go and buy another

>>75371599
wow spot on

currently peeling back my foreskin and giving my bellpiece a big old sniff

Tom the Terrible Turquoise Terrapin is on a rampage through Old Manhattan! Stop Tommy!

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>>75371709

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>>75371714

Business idea: take a nap and try not to wake up at 8pm like last time

>>75371723
*chucks minced ginger and garlic into a wok*
*chucks some random meat in*
*drowns it all in soy sauce*
love chinese food

>>75371694
they mean the same thing

>>75371754
business idea: get 3 hours of sleep before classes tomorrow as I do every night

>>75371725
Ah yes, the olive theory
a HIMYM classic

>>75371754
ill invest and fuck off

>>75371723
>$79

>>75371769
don't know what that is

>>75371563
good lad

>>75371714
Just finishing Flashman. Don't get the hype desu.

>>75371797
wrong, it was $45 dollarydoos

Business idea: Treat feminists like shit because it's really want they want the whole time

You lads got any tips for making a delicious Sunday roast?

How do you do your spuds? What meat do you have? What veggies? How do you make your gravy? What else do you serve with it? Pudding?

it's too fucking warm

if it's cold you can warm up, but it's fucking impossible to escape the heat.

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>got smashed and made a tit of myself last night

*frying some eggs with you in the kitchen*
*tries to redditly flip them in the pan*
*one flops over the edge and careens to the floor*
So passes Denethor, son of Eggthelion.

>>75371832
cook everything in lard

>>75371825
women are already treated like shit

>>75371838
Cold showers lad

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13EifDb4GYs

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>>75371714

>>75371832
>How do you do your spuds?

With a hammer usually

>>75371841
I feel like it's actually impossible to get even tipsy and not make a bit of a tit of yourself (although I suppose it's also highly likely one will do that while sober)

>>75371832
could answer all of these questions and more and hand you the secrets of delicious sunday roasts right here and right now, but this is /brit/ and I know my wise words will be wasted on deaf ears

hmm
*wanders off to ponder the nature of my life*

>>75371385
It is necessary, in the third place, to ensure such a cultural advancement of society as will secure for all members of society the all-round development of their physical and mental abilities, so that the members of society may be in a position to receive an education sufficient to enable them to be active agents of social development, and in a position freely to choose their occupations and not be tied all their lives, owing to the existing division of labour, to some one occupation.

What is required for this?

It would be wrong to think that such a substantial advance in the cultural standard of the members of society can be brought about without substantial changes in the present status of labour. For this, it is necessary, first of all, to shorten the working day at least to six, and subsequently to five hours. This is needed in order that the members of society might have the necessary free time to receive an all-round education.

t. Joseph Stalin

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aren't westerns visually dull why would they need 4k

>>75371764
foreigner

>>75371714
latest beano compendium

smelling some baby powder

>>75371859
Women or slags???

4 egg breakfast washed down with a rio

>>75371832
>sunday roast

alri rorke

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>$45

jesus wept

>>75371869
loved that book
andy griffiths is a wordsmith

>>75371714
Oishinbo 2bh

>>75371832
>spuds
Roast & mashed
>meat
Any kind depending on how much i want to chew
>veg
Brocc, cauli, peas, corn, 'rrots, miscellaneous verdure
>gravy
Bisto
>what else
Yorkshires, parsnip, sweet tater, pumpkin
>pudding
No

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yup... that's me

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>>75371832
Just pop it in the 'wave for 10 minutes. Simple as.

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love watching nice looking women with no clothes on

what's the probability the adopted children of a gay couple will turn out gay?

pre-ordered a pizza last night

should be coming in 5 hours

>>75371950
I've been in a much worse and awkward situation 2bh

>>75371978
bit gay

>>75371955
says 12 mins on the box you melon

>>75371984
100%

>>75371955
actually had this one before; it was awful

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>>75371942
>pumpkin in a roast dinner

>>75371984
0%
They'll see how gross it is first hand.

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me and the gf

want to open the window but fucking flies keep coming in reeee

>>75371942
you sound like an awful cook.

>>75371984
lesbian couples will make gay sons.

don't think gay dads have much impact though. depends on how feminine they are

>>75371988
Go on

>that young lily allen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=va6nPu-1auE

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>need to stem my addiction to binge drinking
>getting a gf would probably achieve this
>too ugly to get a gf
>need to drink to escape the reality of being too ugly for a gf

Horrible cycle

Hate most gays
Gays i like: graham norton kind
Gays i fucking hate HATE: the one posh bald twink obnoxious tumblr bumboy on panel shows you know the one whose entire repertoire is "im gay" and "im sassy"

was fantasing earlier about willy in fanny but with me completely naked and the fanny owner completely clothed and just shifting the clothes where necessary
don't know why i found that so hot

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>why yes I do care about how my food tastes and take a deep interest in the culinary arts

gagging for a wank

>>75372073
what's your opinions on lezzers then

>>75371868
listened to that album incessantly when it was released but he sold out to the BBC and we got every song for every advert on tv. Got sick and tired. Fucking whats his tits Beck did the same.

Doing a thirst lads

For knowledge...

would take antony cotton off coronation street up the shitpipe

>>75372081
fuck off yank. simple as.

>>75372081
not surprised that a yank is saying this 2bh.

>>75372099
couldn't agree more

"fuck off yank. simple as." - some frog

>>75372106
what about the vicar or todd grimshaw?

>potatoes
Done in goose fat with a bit of flour, salt, garlic and rosemary
>meat
Tends to be chicken, free range, stuffed with a sausage meat stuffing, sometimes pork or beef, never really lamb apart from at easter
>Veg
Carrots, parsnips, cauliflower, maybe some cabbage
>Pudding
Chocolate cake, apple pie, cheesecake, something like that

Always washed down with a pint of guinness

Doing a thirst lads


for water....

>>75372102
never had that before, is it on tap?

>>75372095
Like: sandi toksvig, gf, cara, hopefully rachel riley
Hate: sarah millican, anyone who uses queer as an empowering term and not an insult, anyone on twitter

Almost tried typing like a Brit

>>75372073
graham is quite sassy

>>75372162
same

thanks for reminding me to get some wa-wa... hehehe..

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dinners still too hot to eat

check the ink

just beeing myself XD

#WeStandTogether #LoveTrumpsHate

>>75371868
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKw5mbcE7VY

fucking love World Cup/Euros time even though >we get merked every time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJqimlFcJsM

guess what I'm trying to say here lads is I love pints and I love footie - simple as

>>75372073
graham norton is camp as anything

what about normal acting benders like stephen fry

>>75372143
dont like this gimmick

got called a yanky danky doodle twat on /ck/

>>75372196
Yeh but very charismatic and nice too yu know he's a laff
Baldy bumboy just goes "ohhh you know im terribly gay, and i just love sucking on willies, and i just brewk up with my boyfriend"

>>75372184
Don't think Rachel Riley or Sarah Millican are fanny fiends

>>75372242
>child fucker
>normal

"dont like this gimmick" - some frog

lmaoo hetero's so obsessed ;)

jealousy is a disease hope you feel better soon :) x

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So I've been set on moving from the UK to the Netherlands for a while now but I'm wondering if I still can now Article 50 has been triggered.
I work from home online so I wouldn't find a job there, just live.

Should I just go? will they likely deport me? Am I fucked?

>>75370918
Cute
>>75370982
Fake news

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Summer... Summer is coming...

Prepare for the migrant invasion lads

Love gays love lesbians HATE bisexuals. Just don't like them simple as!

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ebingflo

>>75372327
alri matthewmatosis

>>75372230
good post
fucking love pints footy and singing with the lads

>>75372242
Dont mind camp just hate obscene/attention seeking
Luv stevie hes great

>>75372279
Rachels not yet but i swear sarah is

*licks your face*

>>75372230
is that sam hyde in the kitchen

>>75372324
rorkes make little doodles like this but wont even punch the first black nigger they see

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CHOCCY SPOTTED

>>75372379
xD

Collapsed lung is acting up again

why is norton so much better than every current talk show host in yankland

>>75372324
only you continentals will need to

>>75372410
isn't james corden big over there now?

Gf's coming round to plonk her arse on my face and wank me off

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>is that sam hyde in the kitchen

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*sip* shhh, no talkie until coffee is drunkie

*siiiip*

>>75372230
Tamest tune
There was hope with Gazza and John Barnes and New Order.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Re4aDJL3heA

>>75372410
he's just got good banter, so many talk shows are really formulaic but Norton talks about whatever really

I'm pretty sure celebs have said before he's the best, people just feel comfortable around him like they're talking to an old mate

>>75370918
Didn't she say that she liked some nigger rapper?

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>>75372386
pardon ???

>>75372424
>too weak to defend himself
cute

Woke
>brush your teeth with non-fluoride non-sls toothpaste and scrape your tongue
>use non sls/parabens/fragrans/parfum etc soap, detergent, shampoo and so on, don't use petroleum based skin products
>use cronometer to monitor your intake of vegetables and minerals
>take hallucinogenic drugs (dmt and mescaline preferably, you can grow these)

>meditate twice a day
>try to constantly focus on breathing
>subscribe to a solid metaphysical framework (esoteric ones are better (start reading, kybalion for example is a good start))

>recognise the machinations behind things like media and politics, and try to be see past surface levels things
>don't dismiss the unbelievable and don't deny connections
>don't dismiss the possibility of use of magick or esotericism gnosis, especially for malign purposes
>analyse kubrick films, visit masonic museums and read read read
>collect resources on conspiracies which are known to have happened and study them profusely (MK ultra or MP paedo scandal for example)
>NEVER, EVER, GET NEAR TO ANYONE WITH POWER

>keep as much information from the government or major corporations or banks as possible
>use a vpn
>browse the internet via i2p (or at least use ixquick, anti-tracking/other stuff plugins)
>major transactions bitcoin darkwallet or cash
>use the terminal and only use 'free' non-proprietary software.
>if you're too lazy for this use anti-keylogging, peerblocking, anti-tracking tools and turn off your computers telemetry

might watch a little sam hyde

>>75372467
nah don't rate it that highly

sly banger Tbh
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoMhkYlS33c

>>75372501
that's not you though. youre some overweight neckbeard in his basement

>>75372469
howard stern is the GOAT at that 2bh, despite being a yank jewyorker

Woke: not reading a word of that

Was just reading the sheer scale of terrorists in this country. 23,000 Muslim Jihadists on our watch list, in our country, living here. Only 3000 of them can be under surveillence at any one time. Every day people are dropped from the list and new ones added, old ones reactivated. The Manchester bomber was under surveillence up until 3 years ago, before being replaced with more recently reported threats.

That is the scale of the issue we are dealing with. 20,000 of these savages walking our street ad living here unmonitored. How can anyone say there's no problem with Muslms? Those are literally just the suspected terrorists, just imagine how many more there are unsuspected, and how wide each individuals network is out of the 23,000. How many of the 5 million living here know one or more of them, and would never rat them out?

Islam has to go in order to defeat terrorism. It's literally the only way.

Ffs just dislocated my lung again

lads, I'm hung over
one sentence or less please

NUMBER NINE NUMBER NINE NUMBER NINE

>>75372540
he's alright but a bit of a gimp, quite rude and that

>>75372581
alri john

>>75372410
Norton is an overrated arselicking creep. Fuck knows why people blow sunshine up his arse

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>>75372539
the man in the webm is an overweight neckbeard thou

Are you a somalese skeleton ?

>>75372501
We live on an island, they won't get past france

Anyone remember staying up late and watching rude TV shows like Eurotrash, Monkey Dust and Sexcetera?

shareef don't like it

I fought the law

>>75372623
I remember you being a fucking dull cunt.

Love: Watching fit birds mince around in skimpy summer clothes

Hate: The fact I'll never know any of them

>>75372623
Hello fellow late 20's male.

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>>75372619
>seas and oceans are an obstacle for human trafficking NGO

>>75372532
Jesus. Byka Byka Grove

https://pollmill.com/f/what-is-the-size-of-seo-yuna-a-member-of-aoa-s-nipple-vrkdk4t/answers/new.html

quite like Graham Norton when I'm a bit drunk 2bh

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>>75372557
literally an army of terrorists, so scary.

>>75372694
do you also hate it when the bushes block your line of sight?

>>75372681
Hello pre 20 year old male

>>75372681
Massively uncalled for
>>75372698
I'm 21

>>75372735
I'm in an open area you absolute casual

>>75372623
>rude tv shows
>monkey dust
>comparing it to eurotrash

You haven't watched Monkey Dust at all, have you?

doing a screwface

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V81jAV7M8_I

>>75372557
I guess cutting funding wasn't particularly smart of May

>>75372731
bender

got the f1 on

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>>75372694

>>75372798
good lad

>>75372748
>I'm 21
>claiming to have stayed up late watching eurotrash

Nah. Time you fucked off, dull cunt.

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>>rude tv shows
>>monkey dust
>>comparing it to eurotrash
>You haven't watched Monkey Dust at all, have you?

Why do people with the shortest hair always take the longest in the hairdressers?

do you pronounce necessary with 3 or 4 syllables

>>75372743
Hello paki bastard

Would you rather have lung cancer or tongue cancer?

>>75372866
lung

>>75372866
whichever leads to a quicker death

>>75372866
I'd rather be fedora-posted by people who don't know how to use it properly

Jeremy Kyle is the highlight of my day, when I can watch runts and know no matter how bad my life gets, it'll never reach this level.

>>75371548
I just got off a graveyard shift and wasn't expecting it.

I think I just got scarred for the first time ever.

eating really good bread called daves killer bread and looked it up and found out dave who it's named after is a felon who's spent 15 years in jail

find it quite disgusting that most women piss all over their thighs and only wipe their fanny when they go to the bathroom

>>75372817
>It ran for 16 series (over 160 episodes) until 2007, making it one of the UK's longest running late-night entertainment shows. Channel 4 infrequently re-runs the series and repeats can be found on theComedy Central Extra,Real Livesand on3ein Ireland. Series 1 is also now available onAll 4.
I watched it when I was a kid you strange old autist, I didn't sit up with a glass of wine in the 90s stroking my beard to it you elderly fruit.

>>75372863
4

>>75372911
Most of them shit standing up too i heard

>>75372772
What funding? It's Corbyn you should be worried about cutting defense budgets.

I guess letting Muslims live here wasn;t particularly smart of anyone

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>>75372908
>look into it some more
>dave is in jail for putting rat poison in baked goods

>>75372911
>most women
Guarantee you've never been near one that isn't a sibling

>>75372731
Terry Wogan was a better tame Irish. Subtle humour, not crass. I can call you a cunt because I'm a raging faggot haha I'm Graham Norton.
Terry was a good man he had style.

I remember watching Monkey Dust and Eurotrash when I was a kid and I'm 23.

>>75372902
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXYSL-1qRE4

I went to school with this guy.

>>75372970
fuck Wogan

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>>75372965

>>75372908
That shit is delicious.
>>75372960
Don't care

>>75372866
You can just have your tongue removed and talk through a machine thing, can't you? If so, I would opt for that over the inevitable death of lung cancer?

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My dogs shit is delicious

>>75372995
>I would opt for that over the inevitable death
FONT

salted coins absolutely REEK of fanny haha SHANT be doing that again nooo sireee

>>75372971
>>75372748
I'm 27 and watched it as a kid. I guess they must have kept playing it for years after I stopped. Except I dont remember stopping, I thought it just stopped being played.

>>75372965
knowing women irl isn't what will teach you about their bathroom habits 2bh

unless she's also into pee/poo porn. which is unlikely.

stop projecting, you virgin

>>75372933
It finished in 2004, when you weren't even 10.

Monkey Dust finished in 2005

Stop lying, you creepy fucking turd.

>>75373026
*does a maori dance*

I remember staying up late watching Never Mind the Buzzcocks when Simon Amstell was still hosting it

>>75372989
I hated him now i respect him. I never got his wit until lately.

>>75372911
that sounds so tasty :)

>>75373057
he was a bender and all wasn't he

>>75372902
t. future bogan

>>75372965
buttmad roastie detectect.


bet she smells of piss

pull your lips apart before you piss , bitch

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>>75372959

>>75373049
>most women

Lel. Fucking state of you, arrogant paki cunt.

>>75373052
Your autism is making me uncomfortable, going to stop replying now

>>75373112
clean your cunt, bitch

>>75373120
Your bullshit has been exposed is the reason why you're going to stop replying.

>>75372970
Hte him and his stupid put on voice, hate his stupid early morning radio shit. Absolutely hated the man, can't think of a single celebrity I hated as much as him. Maybe that's because he always had the morning radio 2 slot when I was at school, though, had to listen to his fucking stupid fucking annoying voice every morning right out of bed. Hate the cunt. Ken Bruce can get absolutely fucked too

might post my address here.

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