Why are Germanic languages so goofy sounding?

they make me want to scratch my eyes out

>>75288486
>>75288662
>Says this while speaking American

>>75288664
t. German diplomat to the U.S.

>>75288674
A modern German would call it English, as they hate America as of now (sad!)

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I feel like making love to a Germanic speaking women would sound very angry. No matter how sweet she was.

Germanic languages sound like pre-vowel shift english
kinda wish they were lingua franca desu

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>>75288708
>as of now
we never even liked you LOL

God how I wish the Americans had dropped a few nukes on G*rmany

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>>75290653
Mien leiben!

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>>75290718

>>75288486
cause they're niggers (sad!)

>>75288486
Frankly I think German sounds pretty good. The german accent in French is also extremely cute.
Don't really know about Scandinavian languages.