/brit/

shit

Received my $3333.43 monthly paycheck from Mr Noseberg today

(You) a mate that is an absolute crumpet

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the gf sent me this

the gf asked me if she could place me willy inside her

told her to fuck off

do lesbians ever shag men just for a laugh?

there's a cute lesbo at work and it breaks my heart that she doesn't like cocks. i mean, i'm not gay but i could imagine i might bum a bloke just for the banter, so maybe a lezza would take cock just for shits and giggles?

>>75064407
made $184 last week and blew it all on dominos pizza

>>75064418

>>75061108
why didn't you recycle the old new you gay cunt

depression usually results in a lot of catch-22 thoughts
its a mental ILLNESS be more sympathetic

hate the poor

love machine operators

>>75064433
heard you could fuck the lesbian out of lesbians, give it a try next time you two are alone x

>>75064423

sounds unhygienic eugh

hate racism

love racists

>>75064433
tell her youd shag her and her gf anyday

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>>75064437
did you get the entire menu delivered?

>>75064433
>he actually believes there's such a thing as lesbians

lmao

>>75064369
bogans are probably gonna be more understanding, a few may go pigging etc. my blue collar friends and aquaintances do. however, my uni friends are the complete opposite and see guns as just evil.

i was explaining rifling and ballistics to a few when it came up in a convo and they weren't uncomortable but they acknowledged it was weird that i knew so much about guns. the topics were basically coriolis effect, barrel length, receivers and what types of ammunition do when they hit somene, not exactly expert topics.

>>75064439
take the piss man

Justify this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1XM4INk8l8
It's fucking awful and does barely advertise the actual burger

>>75064387
Yeah she tried intimidating me after throwing the pot by charging at me but she's a weak girl and I'm 6'3 so i just pushed her back on her arse before she was able to hit me.

Any other stories of the brother's antics? I can't be the only one in this general with a fucked up family.

would love to suck a cute lad off right now

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anime

fucking hate heteros
ah yes, you want 1% of the world to date you, maybe 0.1% in the sciences?

>>75064433
state of you

>>75064418

What are you monthly finances like lads

Incomings:
Wages - £1450 after tax

Outgoings:
Rent - £0
Commuting - £0
Meal Deals - £50
Alcohol - £60-80
Drugs - £100

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Might not and get a copy of the mail to see what these fidget spinners the kids are obsessed with are

>>75064484
nah I was a party and ended up paying for all the food somehow

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1-vcEwzNbk

didn't one of you lot stay at this hostel?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PL93VNdtd1o french tv was so cool before. people getting mad at each other and laughing and all. not all that calm hmm yes yes my friend shit theres today

>>75064433
all lesbos just need a good shagging my dad used to say

>>75064529
awful smell of desperation off this post

>>75064522
What?

gonna do a post

>>75064509

I'm not cute but my cock is x

the internet has given me a cloudy and deluded vision of the real world that I cannot handle

why the fuck is this kiwi so desperate to get guns in australia what's he planning

>>75064567
please show it x

>>75064506
It's probably designed for viewers to associate good feelings with the brand, people are more likely to remember how something makes you feel rather than what exactly was said, or advertised, in this case.

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If Ecuador are fine keeping Julian assange when don't they just take him to Ecuador instead of having him in the London embassy?

found €2 in my pockets i'd forgotten about

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The soupa too e spice

>>75064507
he's not as bad as your sis but i see similarities. complete inability to take responsibility for actions, always everyone elses fault when he does something fucking dumb. blames mum for everything that didnt pan out like he wanted but then will run back to her the moment something is wrong until it's fixed then it's her fault it happened.

he moved out about 18 months ago and i see him now and then but we're basically estranged. apparently he told my grandparents whom he still talks to occasionally he wants nothing to do with any of us and frankly, i couldn't care less. bit awkward when people ask if i've got a brother though, bit weird having an estranged sibling in your early 20's.

>>75064547
wish i spoke french

>>75064624
did you just cross the border?

>>75064605
realdoll

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Oh9UonpqYg
something terribly wrong with mr seplut

>>75064529
30.70/hour and typical shifts are 3 hours, but I'm a casual so it's usually 3-5 a week, so $1842 maximum

commuting - $20 or so I just take the bus
food/drink - probably $400ish
everything else - $100
live with the parents so no rent

lol @ phimos pathetic life

>>75064605
jesus. would love to facefuck her though

>>75064598
idiot

wait is that phimos with the sister problems? kek

>>75064638
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ikg4rH8eNcM

>>75064605
love pints

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>However, police in London said they would still be obliged to arrest him if he left. The Metropolitan Police Service (MPS) said Mr Assange still faced the lesser charge of failing to surrender to a court

So if he waits until after brexit, does he european arrest warrant still apply? That will mean he can walk out after a mere 7 years inside the embassy

>>75064529
£1400 after tax
rent - £400
bills & food - £250
car + petrol - £250
booze/gear/cigs - £150
Investments/savings - £200
the rest just evaporates

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>>75064666

love men, love being gay, love muscles and cocks, love handsome and cute faces, hate women

>>75064598
as soon as he steps foot outside the embassy he'll be arrested

>>75064536
>not splitting the bill
I made that mistake before, except with like an ounce or two of weed instead of food. To be fair to myself, some nigger said he was going to have enough money to pay me and had some convoluted story about how his friend who lived far away couldn't come for some probably fake reason and I didn't want to seem like a stingy person by not sharing any with the people at the party.

zawe ashton was hot in season 4

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>>75064642

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>>75064506
>He liked techno?

>>75064672
He will get arrested for skipping bail in the UK and won't get given bail again because they know he'll just skip it

>>75064692
Get him into an Ecuadorian helicopter above the Embassy then

I'm sure Ecuador probably have special forces

>>75064535
absolute state of that front page

high wycombe seems comfy af

>>75064696
I think I was just really drunk and some runtoid ordered it all online and got me to take my card out somehow and the rest, as they say, is history

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gf just sent me this

>>75064484
Don't ever appropriate my culture again aussie twats

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'cide

>>75064699
fucking creepy thing

>>75064733
don't think they care that much, not worth breaching UK airspace and law just to get him out
he's fine in the embassy

>>75064757
why is one of his eyeballs floating in mid-air?

Business idea: invite this beta Aussie mong to parties and get him to pay for takeaway

>>75064536
wtf is wrong with people hope you know them so you at least know woh to ask for the money

chocolate
cuckoo clocks
dignitas

>>75064733
Sure, they're just going to let a foreign military helicopter fly into London

>>75064649
who are you mistaking for me ive barely posted this thread

disappointed I haven't gotten any lad's cock yet
VERY disappointed

http://www.express.co.uk/life-style/science-technology/806742/Google-Maps-New-Update

ah yes so this is what captcha is for

>>75064757
id be sad if my eye was floating off my head

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cheeky gamble on the final German games x

>>75064754
yeah was just over mate sorry about that

>>75064801
Barrack obongo got to bring loads of shite when he came, just get the ecuadorian president to visit

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the 'f

>>75064628
hmm yeah they sound alike, with the exception of his choice to be estranged.
The sister's always going on about how upset she is that we don't constantly praise her, start conversations, or "help her in her times of need" whilst being completely incapable of even being a decent human to anyone else. Can't see her choosing to have no contact with the mum or I, which is unfortunate, but I'll probably end up going no contact with her unless she decides to get some course that helps a lot with BPD.

Opened up my phone to show my mum something on the internet and it was still on the pornhub page from earlier

Literally never wanna show my face down stairs ever again

>>75064773
I dunno

had it up to here with 4chanX, keeps fucking up and its getting me miffed
(fucked up while posting this)

>>75064842
'cc

Anyone voting Labour?

>>75064842
willy is hard please assist

>>75064817
how do you actually use betfair? the UI is atrocious

bet365 is the one for me

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>>75064860

>>75064887
*sucks you off*

>>75064848
ah yes

watching phone on the 'obile

>>75064879
all the intellectuals

Nothing better than a good poutine

>>75064754

http://i.4cdn.org/gif/1494885098067.webm
ah yes roasties

>>75064879
yeah, but I'm not happy with it

>>75064529
Outgoings:
Rent - $0
Commuting - $176
Meal Deals - $80-90
Alcohol - $60-80
Drugs - $0
Misc - $70

>>75064879
>voting

don't even bother mate

desu I can't remember why i hated Corbyn (someone please remind me)

>>75064860
whats the matter lad

>>75064913
>pakis
>intellectuals

Really recedes the swede does that one.

>>75064919
source?

>>75064888
fairly easy to use if you're not braindead
banned from 365

>>75064745
Screeching, were you really drunk?

I took some research chemical psychedelic called "25i-nBOME" at the party I attended and allegedly had a seizure of sorts. I don't even remember a single thing from that night and I've probably given myself permanent brain damage as a result of it.

>>75064919
you know it's fake, right?

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>>75064879
everyone

being bullied at work

>>75064935
Something about the sheeds or brexit can't remember myself

>>75064946
>banned from 365

kek why

>>75064919
females are subhuman

>>75064879
I'm technologically literate so yes

>>75064980
t. Pajeet the IT Monkey

>>75064945
girls do porn episode 296

>>75064946
I'm banned from betfair

>>75064879
voting for whichever one respects my privacy, so probably the left.

just applied for janny lads

>>75064935
I didn't like him because of his weak stance on brexit but can look past it all now

fuck mummy may

>>75065014
why

https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=97034749
Imagine if you were trying to buy something and unbeknownst to you, this is was happening

just binned some yanks janny application lads

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>>75065026
Oh yeah? What do you think of THIS then

>>75064935
he turned labour into an infighting chaotic mess

>>75065052
why

>>75064975
can't really answer this right now due to ongoing legal issues but may post about it in the future

>>75065069
i don't cotton to yanks 'round these parts

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>Hey hows it going?
???

>>75065081
LOL

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>>75065097
>why did u green text that?

Lads please don't post porn

I browse from my TV and my mother occasionally walks in and sometimes sits here while I browse

This is a blue board after all. Have some decency and respect the rules.

>>75065055
think it looks yummy

>go to "International/random" mistakenly instead.

Lmao what a shithole

>>75064529
Wages £2900 after tax and student loan

Rent - £1400
Food - £600
Bills - £80
Commuting £0 (cycle)
Savings - £400

Remainder is disposable

I've got over 15k in savings already and don't feel like I'm trying to restrict spending

>>75065124
fuck off dumb moaning cunt

>>75065120
desperately wish I had a boyfriend

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This is my chin and jaw line in profile.
Actually seriously considering suicide

*cartwheels off into the sunset*

>>75065144
FOB

>>75064847
yeah he's done similar shit. he answers us in one word sentences, sits on his phone if he's come over to use our internet, eat our food etc then complains we never listen. your sis sounds like she wants attention more than anything, so she wont estrange herself. he wants to be some tough boy who chats utter shit to his mates and their parents about us to make it sound like he's the victim all the whilemum's friends with them so they know what's actually going on.

all i can say about being estranged is that it's both good and bad for parents. mum's obviously hurt her son doesn't like her but she was getting pretty tired of what an arsehole he is and the drama involved. it's not really affected me but i don't think about it desu. you literally go from having a sibling to being an only child so the pressure is on you to succeed and breed.

>>75065081
creasing

>>75065124
because it's the stupidest non-question ever and I just wanted to scoff at it

>>75064842
this picture is ancient

>>75065163
lose weight maybe

>>75065163
I'm full on fat and have a better jawline than that haha

Genetics eh

>>75065163
Lefort + genio, under eye implants, rhino to ascend

>>75065013
>never been with a girl
>doesn't like anal

I'm sure it's scripted, but I like little touches like this.

>>75065120
w h a t m o v i e

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>>75065120
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVjiKRfKpPI
me and les copains on the day of the purge

>>75065191
Oh I thought you were trying to ask me how I'm going aha, carry on then :^)

>>75065203
is that what you got and now look like michael jackson because of it?

>>75065163
that looks very average
why are you complaining?
you're not gay, are you?

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>>75064552
Is your dad Taffy?

>>75065226
what is this shit haha

>>75065223
In Bloom 2013

>>75065240
nonce

>>75065240
>gif
fuck off

>>75065237
No surgeries done but I need at least $30k in work to look decent.

>>75065201
pics

>>75065188
>yeah he's done similar shit. he answers us in one word sentences, sits on his phone if he's come over to use our internet, eat our food etc
You're a NEET living with your parents you have no awareness do you?

>>75065253
FAGGOTS getting what the deserve

>>75065163
your gonial angle is really poor i'm sorry. your chin is alright. I think the biggest issue it seems you have a recessed maxilla which. I mean you look pretty average/maybe slightly below - i look 10x worse than you

>>75065240
JAAAANNNNNYYYYY

>>75065264
do you have a 5head? Seems like most eastern african niggers do

>>75065264
doubt it. cosmetic surgery looks terrible. man the fuck up and accept what god gave you.

>>75065188
Shut up you fucking child. 'Screaming' that you wish your sister had committed suicide and moaning about your Brother taking advantage of your parents while you sit on your arse and take 10x more advantage of it, but you do wit with a smile.
Literally fuck off you dumb moaning 14 year old rat.

>>75065274
i'm not a neet, and put money toward bills and food.

>>75065264
people who get too much work done tend to fall into the uncanny valley, one surgery max imo

why does internet culture encourage being mean to anyone who's starting out with something?

>>75065296
I do now post-balding. But my vertical proportions were fine prior.

>>75065299
cor

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smoking degenerates BTFO.
now please set a minimum price of £2 per cigarette.

>>75065049

gay twats

>>75065254
ah yes now I remember, I delete all fagflicks that stereotypically tragically ends with one of the guys dying or getting beat up

>>75065325
shut the fuck up

>>75065336
no need to talk like that

>>75065314
what are you on about? the guy with the crazy sister asked me about my brother because we've got a similar scenario.

as i said, i am not a neet and put money toward everything.

>>75065163
>bohooo I'm a sorry fat fuck who can't control my food intake
>it's like my fingers magically reach for the food and put it in my mouth
>why is my chin and jaw covered with fat
jee golly I don't know

>>75065332
Do laws ever get repealed..
I feel at this rate by the end of Mays term in 5 years literally everything will be regulated/banned/controlled. It's fucking awful.

sucking a nigger lads

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having a beer at 14:50, becoming addicted i think

>smokers
i-im not addicted, I just nee- i mean want this cancer stick, it relaxes me when im tense from not having a cancer stick, thats it

>>75065385
hey maybe people shouldn't vote for the tories then?

>>75065314
We are different people you embarrassing mong

muslims have it right about homos. still unsure as to why homos invite muslims (who hate them and murder them in their home countries) into their countries but whatever.

>>75065391
more like a dickhead

>>75065317
I'd get tear trough implants and hair implant

Well done in the U.S. that'd cost about $30k.

>>75065391
nah just love pints

>>75065132
>benders
>decency
that's my laugh of the day

https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5644175557116

>>75065401
>relaxes
for the first 15 minutes, after which your heart rate increases and you are in need for more

>friend tells me how he's started smoking
>call him a fucking idiot
>he gets upset

ah yes, smoke runts

>>75065376
Sorry meant for
>>75064847 this NEET runt who cries about his cat sleeping in the other room and then wishes her suicide while he sits on /brit/ all day posting reddit tier 'pepe the annoyed' and crying like a little mall rat who got his pocket money taken away.

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>>75065328
and how are your teeth? I imagine you look something like this

https://www.naafaonline.com/dev2/about/

>>75065425
heh

>>75065427
Such a boring setup

>>75065405
I won't vote Tory but she'll still win. Being realistic.

>>75065461
he posts his photo here all the time, newcunt scum

>>75065461
I had invisalign as a child. Teeth are fine and bite is class 1.

>>75065385
nowt to do with mummy may tbf

Hate: smoking, dogs, pork, kaffir

every so often I see a really fucking stupid post and as I'm about to reply I think 'nah, not worth it'

>>75065163
fat cunt

just tore my way through about 500g of solid pork rib lads

I'm sweating but i feel amazing
this is what cavemen must've felt like

need a WOMAN to brutally shag NOW

Um, if tories aer so bad then what about mother toreysa? x

>>75065508
rorke

>>75065450
>NEET
correct
>cries about his cat sleeping in the other room
wrong
>wishes her suicide
correct
>sits on /brit/ all day posting reddit tier 'pepe the annoyed' and crying like a little mall rat who got his pocket money taken away
false

>>75065488
Haven't in a while. Some Brit shames me with them now. Only posted em when I was drunk and fixating.

milking my pet nigger
he seems to like it

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>>75065384
absolutely savage swede

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Scoochy and TM there helping me out
cheers guys

>>75065384
>>75065518
im 6'2 80kg lads im literally not overweight

>>75065549
fuck off reddit

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https://youtu.be/mN8WP61pBKY?t=16

just done 5k, two inches at a time

if you know what I mean ;)

>>75065574
pudgy skinnyfat runt

>>75065535
post one now

>>75065532
>wahh i wish you'd commit suicide
>im going to rant on /brit/ about how much better i am than you
get a grip cunt

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>>75065567
No worries Tim x

>>75065594
No. I look like an orc mixed with a mouse

>>75064433
There's no such thing as a lesbian.

love allah, hate pints

>>75065608
That's pretty spot on actually

>>75065535
i seen the one where you look hot and all michael jackson like and the other one which you somehow aged 30 years and were balding

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>Pippa Middleton just married to brother of Made in Chelsea star
>Harry is dating a Canadian niggress divorcee
What is going ON in the upper classes.

>>75065488
>newcunt scum

Careful who you speak to, buddy

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>>75065608

>>75065674
hate this old hag. wish shed die already

>>75065674
your royals have been degenerate since Victoria croaked

>>75065674
>Canadian niggress divorcee
she's not even black ffs

>>75065690
hello newcunt

>>75065690
fake news

smokers are retards anyway desu

>>75065596
I mean, if she actually tried to get help maybe I'd feel a bit sorry for her but she just wallows in her own misery dragging everyone down with her. I'd never say it to her again, and I alternate between hating her and loving her because I know if she actually tries to get help she could be a much better person.
>im going to rant on /brit/ about how much better i am than you
That was never my intention, I'm just posting blogs about my life and adding social commentary about how I feel :o

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the fuck kind of estate agent puts this up on the page of a house they're trying to sell?

>>75065674
meghan markle is an angel

>>75065664
Depends on how drunk I am. I look 21 at noon and 35 at midnight

>>75065741
at least they're honest

brother was watching threads but i only managed to catch last half

the north surely isn't that grim is it? 'ckin 'ell

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Fidget-Spinner-Blessed-with-the-smell-of-virgin-female-university-Student-/222516212549?hash=item33cefff345:g:iW0AAOSwblZZHj9F

ahh yes

>>75065743
Fuck off kike
>>75065711
Fuck off Jose
>>75065714
Fear you are correct
>>75065716
Blind retard

hey smokie, feeling a little tense, aren't you?
don't worry, just go out for a second, itll "relax" you

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>I look 21 at noon and 35 at midnight

>>75065738
blogposting about my life*

>>75065741
somebody who doesn't actually care to sell the house but has been told they've got to list it

>>75065741
link?

zach

made the executive decision i'm going to start drinking at 5. wine is in the fridge now desu

>>75065770
meghan markle is not black

>muh one drop rule

FOY

>>75065596
go easy m8, it's pretty stressful and he's probably just blowing off steam.

you don't talk about this stuff with anyone irl, it's embarrassing.

>>75065717
>>75065719
You literal plebs are beneath me

Subhumans if you will

work in 59 minutes

gotten bitten on the arm by a mystery bug and now my arm is big

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>I'm just posting blogs about my life and adding social commentary about how I feel :o

didnt pay the 'leccy bill at uni now the debt collectors are after me aha state of me ahaha

>>75065831
>giving hiroshimoot your bank details

good job dickhead

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came 3rd in battlegrounds

Gonna fucking knock the shit out of some cunt in a minute

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>meghan markle is not black

>>75065876
could knock her head clean off

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>only see your kid for about half an hour per day for the first 10-11 years of his life
>act surprised when he has trouble forming normal relationships with people and ends up alone and depressed
ah yes, the parents

>>75065870
looks like a fun game ngl
too bad my shitbox lappy can't play it

it's the really racist rorke down under again

>>75065820
Christ when did all the Aussie pooftas get online. Worse than usual fuck off.

>>75065850
>'
Fucking kill yourself, you boring reddit twat

>>75065887
reddit

REALLY want to make another trip to stansted-london-brighton for a few more nights with my brit/greece husbando

>>75065919
could snap her in half easy

>>75065801
http://www.daft.ie/limerick/houses-for-sale/limerick-city/no70-stitas-street-st-marys-park-limerick-city-limerick-1457413/

just some shitty old council house that probably no-one is going to buy anyway, but still..

fuck off>>75065914
faggot

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completo

The girlfriend's got clap, simple as

'900
newtwat

>>75065897
you're the only whiny dickhead here, have a fucking cry about it wanker

been convinced into having a night out in london tonight. there's gonna be a load of girls apparently i need to be careful

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>>75065816
Good lad

Drinkin some wine myself

being bent looks so much easier than straight. hate girls, but dont fancy getting a cock up my arse either

>>75065906
would smash your head into a wall over and over

>>75065949
reddit paki twat

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why are the english so disgusting

@900
'ck 'f 'er 't

>>75065942
FOY

Name 1 difference between a rorke and a sheed that isn't physical

>>75065939
>€45,000
literally can afford it with my savings after 1 year of job experience

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>if you think my gimmick is shit, you must be new here

Brilliant

>>75065914
Can I come with?

>>75065976
fabulous gimmick

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>>75065955
fuck off dumb reddit blogposting twat nobody gives a shit about your annoying siblings and how much you wish suicide on your own family because they were loud

'69
rorke

>>75065984
sheeds are mentally ill by default, rorkes tend to be stable

>>75065984
A rorke is a closet sheed, and a sheed is a closet rorke.

>>75065995
hello new friend

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>>75065741

>>75065963
going to have some Gavi myself

new

>>75066018
>>75066018

>>75065984
one and the same

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>>75065964
this desu
it's honestly a crying shame I find willies so unappealing

hate having to scroll back up when someone @s someone else

smdh

>>75065976
good post

>>75065914
come to brighton and i'll knock you out

>>75066014
hello paki redditor

>>75065756
why didn't this post work?

feedback welcomed

>>75065996
why not, I'll probably blog about it here a lot more frequently when it happens in a few months
>>75066065
lewd

>>75066051
Always an indicator of an arse ravaged tosser.

>>75064692
for what reason?