/brit/

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WILLIES

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhUBx33qwzY

synthakt

bums

wow lads basically just had a revalation. you can use you bogey rolled into a ball as a VERY effective cleaning device for the spaces between your keys on your keboard. you're welcome

can't believe i'm spending the best years of my life here

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>work tomorrow

5'7 and dress like a Danish postpunk band

willies in bums

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/cum/

>>74840233
and boobs

>>74840242
iktf

>>74840223
>truly and completely fucked, you gotta go out with a bang

No actually I wasn't thinking this. This reveals your victim mentality. If things are truly fucked then retribution is needed according to you.

>>74832565
>>74832565
>>74832565
we're all in here

As a child of rape, I would genuinely understand if my mother aborted. My "father" is some bloke in jail for that rape as well as a sexual assault on another woman in a spree

hes an ugly cunt too which is probably why im not good looking..

>>74840243
My father raped my mother too

I hate her for not doing anything about it

>dad just called and asked me if anyone abused me when I was a child

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thought: in the case of nuclear war most major players have probably already snuck "insurance devices" into eachother's countries through ports as only something like 2% of shipping gets checked. it would make sense, why bother launching a nuke if you can just have one at the ready in a warehouse in your enemy's capital?

>>>/sp/75914822
call him a 'sheed

im alright with posting here every day cos i figure my best years are yet to come
better get these mediocre low pay ones out of the way with as much chon-fun as possible yeah
doing a fucking poo

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For £10k, would you anally rape Poleaboo after he's had a night on his mum's curries?

>the paki blames victims of rape
hmmm

might put 'no fat chicks' in my tinder bio

thoughts?

>>74840305
genuinely saw him once walking down the street in rochdale, confirmed it was him later in the day

he looks exactly like his pics and no i would not to answer your question

>>74840305
im the son of a man worth nearly 30 million

youd have to up the price for that

>>74840288
people react differently to trauma i guess. Maybe you being there helped your mum deal with it

>>74840298
shant be getting banned tonight but i do think hes mong

CAN'T KEEP MY DICK IN MY PANTS

>>74840345
Are you the guy whose dad is a richfag exec of some tech company?

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me and the lads out yesterday

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbztAZbw1R8
tune + fitties in the vid

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*heems you a ninth time*

>>74840297
lads why does no one have an opinion on this

>>74840331
I blame her for not going to the police, refusing to blame her parents for forcing her into the marriage, not leaving him, heck even killing him or herself would have been better than what she's done the !last 25 years which is nothing at all

>>74840305
I don't eat curry

ME mong
ME mong

>>74840343
was he virgin walking
what was he wearing

>>74840305
unironically would rather have sex with poleaboo than lena dunham
incase you're reading this, poleaboo, no that doesnt mean you're not revolting, its just you're slightly less revolting than lena dunham

>>74840381
yes

almost posted a pic of my parents garage where he has 2 porsches and an audi but was worried id somehow get doxxed

>>74840395
It's wrong. Nuclear bombs obviously require some preparation to set up and detonate. Not to mention the political blowback of having your pre-emptive nuke found.

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Detroit unironically looks better than most british cities

>>74840357
no one gets banned on /cric/, there isn't a single mod or janny that actually watches the sport

>>74840297
you're an idiot mate

>>74840343
Wanna go to the cinema?

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STOP RAIDING OUR GENERAL YOU LIMEY FUCKS

>>74840423
no you mong, she raised a family and only one of them hates themselves

i bet in the end shes proud of her life, as long as you dont shame her by killing people

>>74840434
Where do you live? In some richfag neighborhood?

White people are cancer, thank god they'll be dead in 30 years

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>>74840467
t-take it back

still much rather have to worry about WITM than to not have a job and feel like a NEET loser

would you rather be the ONE family member who your parents try to avoid talking about at family meetings cause all they have to say is you're 'doing ... okay' while staring at the ground and hoping they change the subject immediately

>>74840493
would go to town on that arse if you lads know what i mean

>>74840483
ignore this runt

>>74840497
my parents do. i live in the shithole that is Nashville

>>74840508
Life expectancy is 89 though and I'm only 19

>>74840395
i read it and thought "cripes thats a good point probbbbly" and then i stopped thinking about it cos nuclear war is no fun to fink about x

>>74840466
dont fancy being jannied here for raiding though xx

>>74840493
*lurches into a 2 footed slight tackle right to the back of her ankles*

>>74840493
Would ravage her arsehole

thread theme
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eubdnkcwf80

>>74840488
She raised a family?

She did nothing other than feed and cloth us with money provided by my dad and the government

I hate her for wasting her life and treating herself as if she were less than human

How can pakis lower themselves so much and live with abuse?

>>74840545
you'd be fine in NZ if there was a nuclear war
we'd all be evaporated though and you'd be all alone waheye x

How do alcoholics function well enough to finance their habit?

>>74840519
hope it rains

>>74840536
will you inherit any money? do they fund your life and buy you a house or somethign?

the life expectancy of my people is 35

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chebs goth gf

>>74840488
>i bet in the end shes proud of her life
consider that you had given birth to ribena
would you be proud?

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>>74840434
Would heem you in the revolution like the skinny upperclass runt you are

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any chebs man in

http://www.theonion.com/article/breakfast-in-bed-served-to-mom-who-just-got-eaten--32401

don't want to work tomorrow

we're starting a new stupid project and my manager is a moron

>>74840617
Because whites get eaten by Maoris at that age and Maoris get sacrificed to the volcano god

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just found out macron married his teacher at 15

fucking weird buds

>>74840445
>Nuclear bombs obviously require some preparation to set up and detonate
nuclear bombs were made small enough to fit in an artillery gun, lad
a shipping container could quite easily hold one

just heemed some runt trying to steal my wheelie bins

>>74840631
GOOD taste

>>74840611
>will you inherit money
yes, no clue how much. my dad has a lot of stock so maybe more in that.

He gifts me 10k a year that I put straight into whatever fund my families advisor tells me to

They paid for most of my life but I finally have a job now so they only cover things like my phone bill and my car insurace, im sure the car insurance will stop soon, doubt the phone will since family plan is cheaper

>>74840608
Just do mate

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>Would heem you in the revolution like the skinny upperclass runt you are

>>74840656
post a picture of your body, i have never seen a communist capable of the fine art of HEEMery

>>74840689
What's that mean?

>>74840434
could you send me some bitcoin please? x

>>74840717
Just do mate

>>74840602
a comforting thought until you realise china would unilaterally heem us because we'd ally with the UK who'd ally with the USA and probably chuck a secret nuke their slitty slopey pingpong way aswell x

>>74840456
no it doesn't

but it does have some lovely art deco buildings in the centre

>>74840305
I'd do it for free assuming I can douche his anus beforehand

>>74840713
Cant right now lad having din dins with the whole senpai
>>74840710
You too lad

>>74840493
would lick her bum and pussy

>>74840736
you might be invaded and subjugated and pressed into an exotic chinky brothel if china won but they wouldn't gain anything by dropping a nuclear heem on you, definitely not relevant enough

just made £80 rosebudding my arsehole on chaturbate for 2 hours

>>74840774
No. You can make him lick your shaft clean though

>>74840787
sexist

>i larp about communism on /brit/ while at the dinner table with my family
runt life
cunt life

>>74840821
what does this mean can i do this for free money?

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>>74840456
they have some good restaurants too thanks to the hipsters.

still not sure what you'll possibly do there for 3 nights.

michigan actually has some pretty impressive landscapes, not sure how close they are to the east side of the state though.

t. west sider

>>74840662
the man is alpha as fuck

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NEED a bendy gf

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love chebs
love thighs
love pints

simple as that just like them

>>74840684
what's your job?

>>74840814
yeah whatever mate its 5 in the morning alright ive already got the birdcucks breathing down my neck i dont need this on top

>>74840864
would break her fucking pelvis my god

>>74840889
crusty old gimmick

>>74840865
proper lad x

>>74840631
>nick cave

ah yes, the poor man's Waits/Cohen

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>>74840861

>>74840893
misogynist

@74840843
Not larping if its true im with my family cuz its me nans bday
Imagine living in new runtland
http://worldmapswithout.nz

>>74840864
hell yeah

a reactionary capitalist defends the elitist status quo from foreign extremists, mad anarchists and revolutionary unionists

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thoughts?

>>74840865
faggot

>>74840940
>mad anarchists and revolutionary unionists
all me

920
shut it gay fanny virgin

>>74840940
is that the summary of your semi autobiographical novel?

quite pissed lads haha if one of you came onto me i don't think i'd be able to say no haha!

>>74840946
>>74840865
hate this caricature style body that women like to have these days

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the chicken legs gf

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At the club lads

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>Not larping if its true im with my family cuz its me nans bday

>>74840981
Fuark

*comes onto you*

>>74840980
yeah whats this hourglass nonsense back in my day they was pears fridges and armchairs

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spend £60 a week on lunch at work

>>74840988
grim

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rolling a zoot for the walk

>>74841025
*cums into you*

>>74841027
women with pear shaped bodies are the best

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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Last_Messiah

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really want a welsh gf

>>74841028
you're an idiot then

wish someone would take a sledgehammer to my nads

>>74841028
jesus how I thought I was mad spending 6-8 quid a day

>>74840907
odious little vermin spawn

just put my middle finger up at /cum/ and closed the tab

>>74841077
that's about my spending level

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Is killing an Irishman really a crime?

>>74841062
hello nigger

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phone says i've walked over 800km this year but i've made little calf gains

see fat cunts at work with calves like bowling balls even though they only walk about 300 metres a day

>>74841028
how

I spend maybe £5 a week

Hark! I am the Last Messiah, and I do come to you now with tidings of great poo poo and wee wee

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>>74841028

>not just getting a £3 meal deal from greggs for lunch

delete the 'der? not a virgin but usually rely more on my wit than my looks as im only barely average looking

literally only matching fatties and its hurting my confidence

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>>74840940

An Irishman walked past a bar.

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>tfw you're a graduate neet

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>>74841013
da

I got some tattoos on my face she wanna lick the ink

>>74841105
it's a crime if you only kill 1

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need a cute doggo gf

Reading is such a shithole
I've lived in London my entire life yet I've never had any issues

I visit Reading and on the first day, I notice 4 different groups of blatant drug dealers around the city, as well as some insane cunt who tried to chased me down the street. The entire population also looks either very dodgy or just grim

need a russian, ukranian or polish gf

>>74841115
>with calves like bowling balls
you are real homosexual if you think that this is something you ought to have

>>74841137
*doubts this*

>>74841070
>>74841077
>>74841124
>>74841126
i get two of the £5 meal deals from a local sandwich shop and then a tenner on chocolate

>>74841162
used to have a polish one

>>74841177
Podgy cunt

>>74841177
dont believe you 2bh

>>74841160
maisie

>>74841177
Alright double dubs, explain why you need two meal deals

>>74841110
laughed at this post and the asmr lady laughed along with me

>>74841177
how can you be gluttonous at work? I'd be too embarrassed

>>74841160
me in the middle ready to take all comers

>>74841177
how much fucking chocolate do you buy? You can get plenty for a quid

>>74841207
By not actually being fat

>The whole of Greater Manchester's tram network has been shut down because of a control room failure.

>Control room staff have lost visible sight of trams although drivers remain in radio contact, Transport for Greater Manchester (TfGM) said.

Ahh yes, the 2nd City

>>74841143

I have a masters and was unemployed for nearly 2 years because I was too depressed to get out of bed

Still only make 21k due to my lack of drive, ambition and aspergers

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pictured: gf, the

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>>74841136
probably the only time anne hathaway gave me a stiffy in a film tbf

>>74841177
hey fatty bum bum want another cream cake

>>74841143
>http://www.tecomak.com/contact/
>Bandwidth Limit Exceeded


state of their inbox on monday morning

>>74841248
based latex poster

>>74841146
Fkin ell

Jdimsa

i have a masters in unarmed combat

Polish girls in the UK are bottom of the barrel tier

Just got 2000$ of free government money for the working class because I finished tradeschool.

What do you university people get -10,000$ debt?

Laughing at you.

>>74841196
>>74841199
>>74841203
>>74841207
>>74841219
>>74841249
I'm not fat fuck off, only just under 11 stone. They're expensive because it's just a family run place with all fresh ingredients so the portions aren't big, the only other place nearby is McDonald's. I just like eating chocolate, I have probably 2-3 bars a day.

>>74841244
struggling to comprehend the niceness of their skin

>>74841241
why is she holding her sex toy?

>>74841244
that's a bold look

>>74841281
*cuts your arms off*

If you've had contact with anyone your age in the last 3 years you're a NORMIE

>1373 unread emails
hm

might visit stratford upon avon

>>74841293
most of the polaks are fit though, wish they used tinder more 2bh

>>74841298
>11 stone

oh sorry, didn't mean to be rude to a women

>>74841318
*quotes monty python*

>>74841298
>11 stone
HAHAHAHAHHAHA YOU PODGY CUNT PIGGY WANNA NOTHER SWEETIE

>>74841304
xD

>>74841328
it's nice

>>74841241

That dog would rather be elsewhere

>>74841298
Once again, why the fuck do you need two of them every day?

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I've got eyes on every one of you runts

>>74841177
*jiggles your belly*

>>74841297
at least £30,000

though you only start to pay it back once you earn over a certain amount
(which isn't really an issue since if you have a degree you should be earning plenty of money)
(though since this country is full of idiots who just want "the uni experience", degrees are insanely devalued and now we just have a lot of unpaid debt that's going to cause major issues in the future)

>>74841298
bet you're skinny fat

I'm in northeastern Thailand. Every single swipe on tinder here is a match because there's literally zero competiion for guys (all dudes here are 60+ years old british sex-tourists) and plenty of competition for civilian girls from the cheap and young ptosties they have here.
Fucking thailad, I'm sure he made the video of him swiping through tinder here.

>>74841328
bet this was inspired by the mention of anne hathaway
always confuses me for one

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>I have probably 2-3 bars a day.

>>74841352
I'm 12 stone and verging on underweight

>>74841298

>only just under 11 stone

So your fat and a tiny manlet?

>lunch
Fucking southern poofs

>>74841373
alri bubs

>>74841298
how tall are you

>>74841349
>>74841352
>>74841374
>>74841379
Fuck off reeeeeeeeeeeeee

>>74841368
I have a massive appetite, don't know why

>>74841403
>>74841408
Do one, I'm 5'11"

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what went wrong?

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business idea

i'm 10 stone 10 pounds :3

>>74841338
They would suck your dick for a £1, also major mental health issues

>>74841298
>2-3 chocolate bars a day
the islamic STATE of your skin
how tall are you

>>74841437
became broke

>>74841365
Met some flemish dude here who've been running a bar for 10 years. Said he didn't return to Belgium for 12 years.

>>74841396
is thailad better looking than you?

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>I just like eating chocolate, I have probably 2-3 bars a day.

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why spend hours cooking when you can get a perfectly good meal for 89p that takes 3 minutes in the microwave

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>>74841322

>>74841436
>I have a massive appetite, don't know why

It's coz you're a fat fuck who eats 12 quid's worth of food for lunch

>>74841444
why do they need such a massive box? are there like 5 takeaways in there?

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Essex, the last bastion of the white Englander

>>74841496
Yes

>>74841241

she's genuinely so sweet

>>74841448
pics x

>>74841437
Realised holding dominion over third world shitholes wasn't as great as some made out.

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ah yes

essex

>>74841436
you have a massive appetite because you eat so much
us tiny folk struggle to have 3 full meals a day cos we're not used to gorging ourselves like dirty filthy pigs

just IMAGINE being a manlet fatty in denial, cannot fathom such an existence

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>I'm 5'11

you'll have to speak up mate I can't hear you down there

got heartburn lads :(

>>74841448

twink

>>74841065

Tfw too dumb to understand over 50% of this

>>74841475
Nah pale, skinny (with "ethnic" tatoos), weak jaw, bad teeths.
He has a good personality though.

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>>74841505
REEM INNIT

>>74841565
t. insecure manlet

finders keepers
losers weepers

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>>74841267
do my best x

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You arrive in Cardiff.

>>74841566
gf gave me something for this today cos ive been having acid reflux in the night
looks like a sachet of calcium carbonate bits
invest in it

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Who /lookism/ here?

I'm 9 stone and 5'8

>>74841603
I'm quite literally 6'5 mate

not a genetically stunted spastic like yourself

>>74841544
bas vegas

>>74841377
Haha that is terrible, real betrayal of the youth, that.

Hoped you learn something though bud.

>>74841621
cardiffs nice you plonker

love hume
hate rousseau

simple as that

>>74841652
>I'm quite literally 6'5 mate
no you're not.

>>74841621
is the big dome where they kick the ball

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i hate essex so fucking much purely because of my ex
just cannot stand any reference to that place

gang of hairy spiders just slit my throat and laid eggs in the wound

>>74841657
oh I'm a dropout
I'm too smart for school

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Lahndahn

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>>74841560
>fatty
>when pic related
>manlet
>where I literally pulled a 177cm stunner during this very trip.

>>74841596
seems like a regular deano

reckon he's still more attractive than you because you're megamind-tier

what happened to essex (the reddit flagger)?

want to star running every morning but scared someone will see me outside and think i'm a wanker

>>74841680
always makes me crease when sad little spastics like yourself literally cannot fathom such heights. I assure you it is true

not all of us stopped growing at 14 mate

>>74841718
shave your tummy you look like a nob

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Rate this lad/10

ah yes
190ft restraining order master race

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>southerners invading the pitch because they beat a northern team

>>74841740
it's like going gym though
once you do it you realise no one actually gives a shit

>>74841736
the sershlad curse

think the algerian is gay. keeps posting his body for lads. we're not gay mate ok?

why nzlad got so much friction with the tripfags
just filter them mate

>>74841736
got a gf (vile mongrel witch) and replaced us (me)

Can't decide what image to use as my profile pic. I've got ones that show I'm good looking but it might come off as vain. I've got others that make me look fun but i don't photograph well in them

Help lads

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>>74841746
>being this rattled at being exposed as an insecure manlet

>>74841791
ummm speak for yourself sweetie x

>>74841760
last match at the stadium tbf

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>You must be 5'8

>Yes.


STILL never fails to make me scream, screech, wail, howl, crease, squawk with laughter

imagine having to scuttle off to thailand where everyone is malnourished and stunted just so you have a chance at shagging birds

>>74841791
not to mention his bragging about spending nights with thai "women"

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£77 ffs

want to start rubbing my willy every morning but scared someone will see me outside and think 'm a wanker

*stand up and starts ecstatically clapping at nothing*
*audience joins in*

>>74841794
dont want to miss out on a single post
enjoy the antagonism desu

aj tracey's at the match

>>74841841
He does a good job of baiting you though.

>>74841827
I did say you'd have to speak up mate

grab a ladder or cherrypicker and then try again

>>74841702
Misc please

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https://twitter.com/wroetoshaw/status/863435141762428928

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Favourite newscaster?

Going with krishnan gurumurthy 2bh

>>74841732
>implying girls care about such details. Like you would care if a stunner had a horible haircut.
>ah yes I shall not fuck her today because that haircut really makes me go soft
Only nerds in front of their computer screen care about the shapes of hairlines. 'Imple as that.

where do I get one of these fidget spinner things?

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>>74841895
>absolute seething manlet

>>74841877
Do it somewhere private like in the bushes

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jesus

>>74841906
dumb phoneposter

>>74841906
>reddit humour

Fuck off back there, lad

>>74841718
chubby cunt
could put my fist through your abdomen

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>So then I says to him "you've been exposed as an insecure manlet!"

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>>74841936
>>74841895
>>74841827
>>74841746
>>74841680
>>74841652
>>74841603
>>74841565

Leicester deserved at least a draw tbqh

>2 stone in 2 months

Can it be done, lads? Apparently losing a pound of fat requires burning 3500 kcal, so for 2 stone = 28 pounds I need to burn 98k kcal.

I have 60 days remaining, I have the time and fitness to burn about 300 kcal a day on the threadmill, 300*60=18k kcal burned through exercise.

This leaves me with 80k kcal to be burned through dieting. I need an 80k caloric deficit over 60 days, which means I need a caloric deficit of about 1333 kcal a day.

The average man needs 2500 kcal to maintain his weight, so I need to eat 1167 kcal a day to reach my goal.

Shan't be happening.

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This manlet trying to claim he's 6'5 is fucking furious

>>74841871
think if you buy that its the antithesis of opening your third eye

>>74842023
dnp

make sure to stay hydrated

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... Mother Base picture ...

>>74840864
I can do that 2bh

*finishes my pint*
the way i see it
using a trip is asking to be harangued
and im not some bender yeah so i dont well i am a bender but not a shit one you know i dont mince or lick bumholes and i dont give a horses hoof for chon etiquette so if you dont like it you can fuck off
*youre not at the table anymore*
*im alone in the pub*
*camera zooms in on piece of swiss cheese on your abandoned plate*
*turns to camera* cheezy weezy!!

absolutely shattered the self confidence of this 5'11 """"man""""let to the extent that he's projecting his insecurities onto me

fascinating, when confronted with the truth it goes on the attack, using its own insecurities to try and belittle others

*pats it on the head*

im 6'2

>>74842068
a silenced singer denied by his brother

>>74841568
i'm hairy

>>74842032
is it the babestation noises paki?

>>74842095
the nose on this child

>>74842095
Never seen Woody Harrelson with hair

i'm 5'10

don't let it bother me though

preeti and priya

just measured myself and im 5'7 (rounded up from 5.67). remember a lad who was only a tiny bit taller than me saying he was 6'2 so i've been saying i was 6ft for several years lmao

>>74841596
i dont even dislike you but i reckon most women would deem you objectively unattractive.

genuinely feel bad for thailad if hes uglier than a balding short guy

if you can reach the top shelf in shops you are privileged

>>74842095
i used to have this sort of hair

why did i do it..why did we all do this

>>74842146
having a taller gf who could potentially pin me down is my fetish

Insecure manlet mocks people taller than him and then loses his shit when his lies are exposed.

HOWLING

>>74841994
I am 16% body fat, you incoherent asshole
>ah yes maybe if I keep repeating that he's fat, it will become true, just like the good Mr. Ronsenstein about the shoah, he is so smart and successful haha reality is s social construct. I wish I was as succesful as Mr. Rosenstein instead of slaving all my lige to pay him interests

>>74842146
Every short man should seek a tall wife so that he doesn't pass his shortness over to his kids

can never tell if i'm 5'9 or 5'10. whenever i measure myself i seem to get either result.

i just say that im 5'9.5

wish fast food was cheap here like it is in yankland

>>74842211
got a funny story about this but wont tell because everyone will say im autistic

>>74842142
Probably. He's easy to bait.

>muslim banging on about the jews again

talk about a walking stereotype

>>74842267
tell it you autist

>>74842277
>>74842277
>>74842277

>he actually thinks 16% bf from his shitty thai electric tester is 16%

you're closer to 20% you chubboid you have no abs lmao

>>74841933
Amazon