/brit/

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no gf

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first for brits out

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ebin shitpost shirt

>>74730205
zany :)

>>74730205
>tfw no physically abusive best Emma gf

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>>74730205
slag gf

>>74730256
what is this

>>74730247
sounds like he has more than autism kek
also why are yanks such dramas?

>>74730263
my bane

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>>74730247
hmm really makes u think

They
re niu;domg a space tether to reach satellites from the rest of the world to take over the internet and monitor earth

5 hours 58 minutes left of work

>>74730285
if you stare longer enough in into the abyss..?
the abyss stares back

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ELAINE?

>>74730285
dont count lad it makes it go longer

>>74730220
get a haircut hippy

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Sugar level low af in the morning

Always feel sick

>>74730295
>soldier posting

>>>/sp/75856805
thoughts?

>>74730299
stop with the sugar / carbs

>>74730267
There's tons of stories of American police breaking down doors and shooting autistic kids

>>74730295
worried my german isn't good enough and I'll get ruined

OC rhymes i just wrote:

I think I'm becomin' an alcoholic,
Whatever how you call it, maybe I'm hyperbolic.
Well, could I stop it? Yeah. But will I stop it? No.
I've got a can to my lips as I type this shit yo.
I'm unemployed and got low self-esteem,
I yearn for affection, but anti-social it seems
I've been this way ever since a kid,
Born a month premature, and somehow survived SIDS.

>>74730316
similar thing happened to me before
quite embarrassing even though its not your fault

>Well, could I stop it? Yeah. But will I stop it? No.
radical

*punches the wall*
*waits for you to ask what's wrong*

>>74730328
I barely eat

>>74730357
dont tell me lad tell him

>>74730330
>tons
probably like 2 or 3

preordained morning cuppa

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national sorry day in 14 days aussie cunts

ban cars and invest in the rail network

>>74730378
sometimes i really enjoy eating and others it's really an imposition and economic one at that

>>74730383
I'll tell who I like

>>74730367
*Laughs under breath to make you embarrassed*

MAAARGERET THE SPAKKER IS HAVING A GO AT THE WALLS AGAIN

*turns back to newspaper as she tases the mong*

*lets out a contented sniff as it's yelps in agony*

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>>74730408
what cunt?

Coming up on a month no wank/porn.
Longest I've gone feeling truly enlightened.

>>74730316
>>74730357
same.

>Be me a couple weeks later
>Same bar, different band
>"Thanks for all the support guys! This will be our last song of the night."
>Buzzed from a few cranberry vodkas I had that night
No, it's not a gay drink.
>Decide to support the band and dance my little heart out during their last song
>Girl walks up to me and looks me in the eyes
>She's so fucking pretty. Like the kind of pretty that gives your heart a boner. A heart-on, if you will.
>She puts her hands out, motioning me to dance with her
>Hold her hand while dancing, interlocking our fingers
>Never been in a situation like this before
>Suddenly feel something on her hand
>She's wearing a fucking wedding ring
>Notice she keeps looking behind us, laughing and signaling to someone
>Don't fucking dare to look and see what he looks like
>Feel incredibly awkward, not sure what to do
>Want to push her down and run away like it was kindergarten
>Instead just finish the song, but making sure to be my distance and to make it as platonic as possible

>>74730391
>being sorry for eradicating natives

guffawing

>>74730430
you deserve it for being a cranberry sipping bender 2bh

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>>74730391
apologise

>>74730428
nofap is not healthy because imagine once you get a relationship..

>uh, why have we gone a month with no sex
>wtf did you just fucking say to me?! *punches fridge* i'll have you know my testosterone levels are THREW THE FUCKING ROOF and I'm more motivated than ever before to get a girlfriend!

>>74730247
ah yes the american handwriting

>>74730430

>cranberry vodkas

Alri Nancy boy

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>Buzzed from a few cranberry vodkas I had that night

>>74730464
he's autistic and black, give it a break

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>negotiated my way into not coming home for another two days
Deals are my art form. Other people paint beautifully or write poetry. I like making deals, preferably big deals. That's how I get my kicks.

housemate just had a go because i made a mug of tea at 10am. apparently thats its early lol

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>>74730482
>>74730476
>>74730447

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>>74730420
dont try me son

>>74730508
is he autistic or something

>>74730384
>2 or 3 Americans
yeah, tons

>>74730508
I'd heem the spastic cunt for daring to bother you

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>>74730518
alri mate wees just havn a laff yeah alri haha

Gotta do counter terrorism checks for this job ive been offered

You reckon shitposting on le chan puts you on mi5 lists?

>>74730518
BLOW HIS UNCLE UP AGAIN

*sighs loudly*
*waits for you to ask what's wrong*

>>74730535
OUTSTANDING post

>>74730508
tell him to fuck off, you can't complain about noise past 7am

>>74730518
what routine to achieve this

>>74730220
James mcavoy

>>74730508
sounds like a spazz

is he a chink?

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Have a thing for pregnant Asian women lads

quick little rap song i made a while ago
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0kxceIZoNNp
rate dont hate, thanks

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>>74730535

>>74730522
>>74730542
>>74730561
>>74730580
he's a proper dickhead. he's from Kent

>>74730562
Progressive resistance training

>>74730588
fuck off Babs

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>>74730535

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shits fucked how'd I let it get this bad?

sweet and sour pork with fried rice

big fan

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>>74730604

>>74730562
have good genetics
lift boulders in the yard

>>74730604
you should rejoin our skype group btw

Did 1000 sit ups a day for a week

Got bare bench pham

cannot fucking stand teresa may's face

Miss the american gf lads

can't be doing with the way that chips can't be reheated in the microwave without them getting all soggy

>>74730555
>>74730589
>>74730606
cheers boys, I'm here all week

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>>74730535

>>74730655
nay I'm a coy old coot

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rate the trim lads

gonna watch the eclipse with the gf (2010 era porn desktop model app)

>>74730672
>he doesn't know the secret technique
screaming

>>74730706
*slaps your forehead*

>>74730706
you got a passport for that 6head m8

Multiculturalism is a failed concept and would only work in the event that all the cultures involved tolerate and co exist amicably with one another. It can only work when two cultures have the same fundamental morals. Anyone who reasonably thinks you can have a happy, functional society that will be able to progress made up of several groups of people that fundamentally disagree with each others views is ridiculous. The more of an outside culture you bring in to a country, the more skewed the consensus becomes among the people, and any level of tolerance there was for the other group not only fades, but turns to resentment and further disposition.

It's really just common sense, but if you don't have any of that, then the proof is all around you in the current geopolitical climate and tensions between ethnicities, religions and secularists right now.

>>74730672
you mean cold hot chips?

>>74730672
Reheat them in t' oven

Bane?

>>74730668
>Miss the american gf lads
FONT

>>74730689
fair enough lad.

does anybody else wanna join our skype group? would like to have an aussie desu, i love aussies.

>>74730713
do tell

>>74730430
what a fucking twat

>>74730752
can't say

*heats up some cold chips*

*let's some hot chips cool down*

>>74730706
wash yor hair

>>74730728
>essay
>first word is multiculturalism
hmm yes will definitely be taking the time to read all the words of this post

>>74730755
bit rude

Business idea: lazy fairy capitalism

>>74730760
love hot cold hot chips me

>>74730755
back to soc-dem meetup, Mr. (((SCHULZ)))

>>74730761
washed it 2 hours ago 2bh

LOVE green capsicum (peppers)

wish i could destroy my libido. I would genuinely be a superior, stronger, human being this way.

european union? more like pooropeein poonion

>>74730764
probably took you longer to write that reply than it would have to read it. wasn't exepcting a single (You) tbqh, /brit/ is very anti discussion.

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manlet paramilitary ideas:

shoot up a basketball game
attach glass sheets on top parts of doorways so lanklets hit their head
assassinate macron (he doesn't conform to the ancient french tradition of having /alpha manlets/ as ruler)
start a letter bombing campaign against lasses who make fun of the manlet bretherin in their tinder bios
start a hostage crisis in an airport and make the terms of release that all airlines have to give less legroom to passengers
destroy the netherlands

>>74730791
7head

>>74730796
>LOVE green [...]cum

bit gay

>>74730798
good one mate

>>74730728
culture "refers to all the ways in which human beings overcome their original barbarism, and through artifice, become fully human." -Samuel Pufendorf
so, islam doesn't even qualify as culture by that definition
multiculturalism is degrading

>>74730816
i did NOT say that

date night tonight lads
taking the ol' ball and chain to wagas

>>74730818
thanks poo peeland

>>74730832
alri poopeelia

>>74730832
LostrAYYlya

>>74730801
GCHQ contacted

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>>74730801
durin I and durin II so forth as the new names of each leader
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22XdYRbFHoE - organize one of these at a major ball

>tfw can only just fit the forehead in the picture

>>74730728
too early in the morning for this
prefer aussie shitposts at this time

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>how ya goin nipping down wooleys want anything?

>Yeah nah mum get us some shop frozen oven hot chips

poounited gaytes of peemerica

crush the phenian race

edit: poonited gays of peemerica

>>74730830
take to the train station instead
>>74730862
unironically had oven 'za last night but it gave me indigestion

>>74730858
8heads

this polish proxy cunt reeks of piss

5'11" here and i feel pretty short

seems like all the young people today are a lot taller like 5'11" average for girls and 6'2" average for men

might move to the philippines so i don't feel so short all the time

im balding and it made my 8head into a 38head

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>>74730903

>>74730903
>it's the insecure tallfag LARPer

Toilet bog fart, the farty shith poosident of the arsenited sharts of americrack

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>>74730943

>>74730862
spacker

Your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. It's called living...

post below is bog fart

morning nonce

fuck off nonce

you wake up in Thailad

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>>74730990

off for a fag and a shite

>>74730990
aye

>>74730969
What part of notts are you from thaila'

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alri thailad

it's not the real thailad t.bh

pooresident Plopald Brrappf

>>74731008
alri

really like lauren southern's voice desu

business idea: a rorke in a brown country

>>74730186
>left guy

Off for a Shag and a fight

what would you all do if 4chan closed forever tomorrow? would you migrate elsewhere or try to move on to other shit? i feel like it would be a blessing in disguise for a lot of people

>>74731017
virus do not click

spent last night half drunk texting some girl until 4am

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eating this right now

business idea: a rasheed pretending to be a rorke in a brown country

>>74731026
europe in a generation or two

>>74731034
absolutely no effect, this shit is background tab for me and the little clover is the only thing entices me

The eternal bradley poster and the thai runt. Very bad thread.

>>74731034

We are the problem, not the chon.

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>>74731007
prefer not to say
>>74731008
alri lad
>>74731017
hmmm

>>74730903
>seems like all the young people today are a lot taller like 5'11" average for girls and 6'2" average for men
indeed, only old people are short

reminder that there is literally only one Australian poster in /brit/ and all Australian posts are made by me

>>74731068
'sheeds are short too desu

>>74731034
last year I attempted to quit 4chan and made a reddit account
came back after 5 months because reddit is a shit site full of boring people with a shit sense of humour

off for a shite on a fag

>>74731074
alri turtle

>>74731074
preach it brother

>>74731083
*burp* hahaha

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>>74731064
got me doing a titanic think right now

>>74731099
wubba lubba

Nipping servo for a 'tto, anyone want owt?

>>74731115
gaytime thanks

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they downvoted my post lads

In a starbucks right now and it's making me feel ill seeing the amount of runts take out there phones and take basically photo shoots of their friends smiling holding a coffee. they can take up to 10 pictures before choosing which one they want to upload to their social media, then they just sit their on their phones not talking to each other for the entire time their here.

this generation's FUCKED lads. it's fucked

reading a book on Chinese mythology

slants are so awkward in their beliefs

>>74731129
owned

>>74731129
pwnt

my posts are getting iron man (You)s

aaawwwWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qkJgSdYh2Eg

>>74731132
as opposed to you writing about it on 4chan

i don't even know what i took your bait thailad you fucking nonce

*orders steak well done with ketchup*

listening to blondie

>>74731167
you having hot chips with that lad?

>>74731160
wow i made a post on 4chan about it big woop pal

zzzz

Would love to see this runt get knocked out

https://youtu.be/qSX0PCQXiO4

>>74731174
curly fries thanks

i'm smarter than everyone in this thread, except for one lad (he knows who he is)

>>74731181
thanks

>>74731178
fuck off nonce

>>74731181
meantioned

>>74731181
cheers lad

>>74731181
thanks pal

>>74731181
awww, thanks mate

You're just off your meds that's all. You're not human when you're off your meds.

biggest sign of a runt
>your hand is bigger than your face
go on try it now and see

>>74731181
you're a smug asshole for calling me out like that

Thailad had to flee notts because the boydem were closing in on him and the st ann's crew

really want some ice cream rn lads

>>74731199
>>74731202
>>74731208
>>74731211
yous can all fuck off, I got in first

>>74731221
don't tell me what to do boy

>>74731221
*holds hand up by the side of my face*
well don't keep me waiting mate, am I?

g'day thaivomit

>>74731234
fuck off

>>74731181
please anon, you're embarassing me

i unintentionally mimick working class people's accents when i talk to them

always wonder if they think i'm taking the piss

>>74731153
good post

>>74731240
no

I'm literally subhuman.

*raises paw*

>giving the australasian this much attwhore food

>>74731221
I have tiny hands like president ronald zlumpf so I dont even need to check

getting my daily dose of louder with crowder lads

doing the poo of a lifetime

>>74731221
thats also a woman's trait

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=X8VX1cyZrfo

dont mess with me sunshine

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>louder with crowder

>>74731264
What the fuck is happening in this?

how come that so many companies have CCTV cameras in the UK?

>>74731233
*smacks your hand into your face*
WAHEY HAHAHA

what....this does't...this can't be right

wait

>>74731282
>Yeah but Joe, weed is illeg-
>THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN CONSIDERING YOU LITERAL OVERGROWN FETUS?! MY THIRD EYE IS PULSATING RIGHT NOW AND I COULD DISMANTLE YOUR ARGUMENT WITHOUT BREAKING A SWEAT!
>JAMIE PULL THAT UP

>>74731332
because if they had their CCTV cameras in France they wouldn't see shit

>>74731264

This CGI is going to age like milk over the next few years.

gonna buy tinder plus again, it's just not working without it.

>>74731322
guy jumping off a cliff and somehow snagging a cliff edge from miles away and swinging towards something while a woman with inhuman reflexes watches a bullet fly through the air

>>74731280
same
my hands are barely bigger than my mams

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VyoMB_mj6W0

*whistles out to you and makes a gesture signalling I want you to come over to me*
*all my mates and the qts in the group giggle a bit, playfully shove me and ask why I'm inviting the sped over*
haha hey mate i think you dropped something over there, i picked it up for you
*pretends to pull something from my pocket*
here, it's your gay card
*everyone begins guffawing as you slowly turn around, a sullen look scrawled on your face*

>>74731351
>going to

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>>74731322
Slow motion
>for slow people

>You know, it's so fascinating to me that human beings are still stuck in this cycle of creating peanut butter, creating jam, putting it between bread, eating it. Where did it come from, evolutionarily? What compels us to consume pastes made from just natural things and put it between slices of bread that we've churned out of grains? If we had to fight a gorilla right now we would get fucked up (Jaimie pull up gorillas fucking up peanut butter and jelly sandwiches) but we're at the top of the food chain anyway, creating these, these products out of the natural world that have become staples to us. And it's so crazy to me that we're allowed to make these things out of these substances, but weed, which is a COMPLEEEETELY natural substance, is off limmits, sorry bitch can't make shit outta weed. It's insanity. It's utter insanity. Oh, yeah look at that. That gorilla is FUCKING SLAMMING that sandwich that is a monster son, that is a real live monster. I bet if you gave a gorilla weed it'd get the munchies like cray haha the it'd REALLY be begging for that peanut butter and banana sandwich, Jaimie pull up gorillas eating peanut butter.

>>74731349
>they wouldn't see shit
of course they would.

smithers, i'm home

this can't....this can't be possible

hello smithers
you're quite good at turning me on

>>74731393
I actually started reading this post in rogan's voice from the first 5 words

finish this sentence

fuck _____

>>74731437
niggers

>>74731437
my arsehole

>>74731437
my life

come on waylon, make love to me the way you used to

>>74731437
you

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>>74731404
what? already?

do you think the myth that having women onboard a ship is bad luck was invented by a bender?

could it be true?

but it seems so unlikely.....

really worried about my future, anxiety is getting pretty bad. My heart beats really hard when I'm in a moderately stressful situation like a crowd, I can't even talk to a group of 10 people without stuttering and choking. Did you see that video of the gorilla fighting a lion?

>>74731393
>these, these products
Oh this is some good Joe pasta

>>74731437
the pain away

suckin on my titties like u wanted me, callin me all the time like blondie. check out my chrissy behind it's fine all of the time. what else is in the teaches of peaches? like sex on the beaches.

what was the last thing you ate?

top kek

>>74731437
foreeeeeeeeever, if you don't mind

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>>74731437
white people

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>>74731472
yes.

>>74731490
does beer count?

>>74731490
ur nan

christ.....it is true

I've.......I've never had.....never had a gf

WHOA

>>74731521
did you eat it?

>>74731490
a JILA mint

>>74731490
brown toast

how is it this one aussie neet is capable of getting this much attention with such simple short posts but me, the supreme gentlecuck, can not bring home anything to (You) about?

>>74731508
this is important

>>74731490
spaghetti

>>74731529
no i drank it

>>74731490
a coop pizza

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>>74731526
dobt remind me

*gets schwifty*

>>74731490
cold hot chips

Gonna be 10 minutes later than usual for work, it's gonna be a pain finding a computer to sit at
And I was taking pleasure in the tranny struggling to do so the last few days

Bunch of pakis here waiting too, they disgust me

>>74731526
lied to the lads that i had a gf last year

99% sure they knew i was bullshitting but they are to polite to say

>>74731490
oven pizza, formerly known as a shop pizza

about to place some bets on australian basketball games. wish me luck.

>>74731580
'OP 'ZA for the lassie?
nope, just plain 'za

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>>74731583

The sight of all these pakis is repulsive

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>>74731437
whypipo

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>>74731579

done that before with the boyos from work

>countenance
>paucity
>valetudinarian

Why yes, i too read the New yorker

>>74731622
>american odds

i'm into eastern esotericism (mostly muslim and hindu)

>>74731637
>>74731579
why though, what would compel you to do that

Dirty paki thinks he can stand in front of me

>>74731579
one time a few of my coworkers were sittin around bullshitting and they were all talking about who old they were when they lost their virginity and stuff. i was dreading when they would look at me and ask me, but i just kept quiet and no one ever asked.

*phew*

I went out for Chinese last night, I told the waiter that the chicken was rubbery

He said 'oh yessir very good thankyou'

I said what? I've just told you the chicken is rubbery!

He said 'oh yessir, rubbery jubbery'

You've been great, I'm here all week. Try the veal

you think darkness is your friend

>>74731654
they asked about my sexual experience and I didn't want to look like a gimp

>>74731579

lied to the barber that i played rugby once

he definitely knew but was polite enough to not out me in front of the entire barber shop

>>74731694
dont get it?

>>74731694
>serving veal at a chinese restaurant
where the fuck are we, mr. comedy?

i'm into southern esotericism (mostly penguins and seals)

Scored one over on those yank TWATS

anyone got a light?

social interactions are awkward for me... and the person.

>>74731739

good lad

just saw a terrible comic in the chinese district
chinks wouldn't give me a refund

>>74731704
Don't think yanks will get it, it's a play on words but with a British saying/phrase x

birds are just VERY small dinosaurs

>>74731796
like that one about why there's no pain killers in the jungle

>>74731746
good thing you still have your pride *Badump*

Rubbery jubbery

In America if a white person calls a black person bigger the black person will beat them up and people will take the black persons side

daily reminder to chew sugar free gum after every meal
>neutralises the acid in your mouth = healthier teeth
>jaw gains
>pleasant breath

Just came in my bed sheets lads

Feel so relax, ejaculating is like a drug to me

>>74731889
yeah so? chat shit get hit

>>74731889
many such cases!

He said...rubbery jubbery

>>74731958
>>74731958
>>74731958
>>74731958
>>74731958

read poleaboo's blog because it make me feel better about my own situation

IMAGINE being him fucking hell

>>74731972
the worst thing is just how pointless and uninteresting it all is

*bursts in through the /brit/ front door with a policeman chasing me*
*Benny hill theme tune starts playing*

>>74731694
That was fucking shit mate