/cum/

my neighbors went inside
now's my chance to throw away my empty contains of alcohol without them finding out that i've got a problem

>>74547043
hey bud how about you stop drinking

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non-/cum/ flags are not allowed to make the threads

>amy shumer isn't funny
>yes she is
>no she isn't
>wow, you sure convinced me with that nonexistant argument

this is what you sound like, you chapelle loving wigger

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RIP dog with shirt

>>74547101

your analogies are even worse than your arguments

very sad

>>74547083
waaaaaaaah im too lazy to make threads aaa
ree-e eeeee eee ee-ee ee ee eeee eee eee eeeee eeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeee-eeee eee-eeeeee eee eeeeeee eee eee eeeee eee eeeeeeee ee eee ee someone else made a thread

>>74547135
it's not an analogy, wigger
do you even know what an analogy is? probably not, considering that you've most likely got an IQ below 80 seeing as you think dave chapelle is funny

scarcely believe anyone finds amy POOmer funny

>Amy poehler is bad
>therefor, when I say amy poehler is bad, it means dave chapelle is bad

really makes me think

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>>74547007
You had one job nigger

*yells random shit related to being black*
*millennial roar*

>>74547344
do you really think i did not do it on purpose

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What's this tool called?

BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER

>>74547438
a torque wrench

>>74547438
6-point wrench

>>74547438
ratchet

>>74547500
>torque wrench
>can't adjust the torque it applies

>>74547438
that's the one that makes clicking sounds

>>74547500
>>74547526
>>74547534
>>74547544

I'm trying to do my first oil change but I don't have the tools, I don't know how to lower the jack thing

>>74547596
how did you raise it?

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>>74547491
woah
genius
*accepts you to my prestigious college*
>>74547526
have you ever even seen a six point wrench?

>>74547620
You just push down on the bar, and it lifts up but now I can't get it to go down. It's a cheap brand so I can't look up how to do it on the internet.

>>74547534
oh shit you're right
yeah it's a ratchet

where is my pipe wrench?

>knowing how to change oil
it's like you're too poor to go to a garage

t. never even changed a wheel because there are people who will do that for money

>>74547682
you rotate the bar (handle) on a lot of those to release the pressure. Think like you are turning a screw driver.

>>74547722
imagine being this useless

>can't even change his own tires
the absolute state of europe

>paying someone to do something you can do in 15 minutes

the sad state of Gerministan

b-b-b-but they drive standard cars over there!

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Good afternoon, /cum/.

>>74547769
then why are americans so fat and can't cook

BAM *drops mic*

>>74547722
It's about impressing the ladies and being a fucking man with hair on your balls.

>>74547813

dragon maid was shit

>>74547722
How do you take care of your german car """maintenance"""?

File: plains and praries.png (104KB, 2289x1744px) Image search: [Google]

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>>74547843

>>74547743
I still need to buy jack stands and a torque wrench set, gonna see if rotating the bar works.

>>74547813
Hi

>>74547682
>You just push down on the bar, and it lifts up but now I can't get it to go down.

There'll be a nut or something below where the handle fits in; it'll have a slot in it. Stick the end of the handle inside it and turn like a screwdriver.

>the waterlogged hamlet of german """"Banter"""

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>>74547862
Agreed. I just like it for the loli.

I'm a Pro

>>74547886
this

>>74547985
wait i take that back

those are frontier places

>>74547843
Illinois is in the great lakes region, not the midwest

>>74547886
would rather eat a wet plate of shit than be grouped up with those midwestern mouth breathers

>>74548100
t. thinks montana has more alike with oregon than nebraska and the dakotas

Can't think of a single funny female comedian.

Dee from always sunny is OK but that's not stand up.

>>74548080
But the Great Lakes are the midwest

>>74548130
a man can dream can't he

>>74548179
wrong. we're a separate and distinct region

Illinois is rightful Ontarian clay

>>74548188
you're a homosexual who wants to have sex with paha sapa so i wouldn't necessarily call you a man

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygeSQKzw6Ao
i wish i was in the land of cotton

>>74547919
THis worked thanks.

>>74548277
why do they fly the confederate flag

>>74548211
No it's not. The Midwest is the Great Lakes+the plains

Midwest is to Great Lakes what Northeast is to New England

>>74548251

you can have it

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>>74548251

im a traitor

Murder season is coming. I predict more dead nigs and spics in Chicago than last year. I need to find some betting action on this.

>>74548341
PLYMOUTH
COUNTY IS
BETTER

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Does this video make you want to visit Taiwan?
It's just random snips I took over there.
It was my first attempt at video editing and that reverse part at the end is only there to fill 10 seconds until the music starts getting mellow again. Didn't know what else to do.
The song is pretty gay but it was the only song on my hard drive that had somewhat of a fitting tempo and length. Some of the cuts are pretty abrupt though but then after fiddling around I didn't really feel like spending more time on it in the end so I left it at that before having to retime every clip again.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5laqOVjS84k


Open for feedback and criticism!!! I know my /cum/buds will be harsh and honest.

>>74548362
I think we will be able to civilize the land

>>74548257
don't remind me

canada isn't a real country

>>74548431
gee what a shithole, its like poormans japan

>>74548413
This is the second time I've sen you post this and I have literally no idea what you are talking about. I don't give two shits about Plymouth

>>74548431
footfag

>>74548380
what why
>>74548365
just send mike myers after them
>>74548431
looks interesting but maybe call it something other than "art". if you want to make people interested in the place maybe call it something like "glimpses of taiwan" or "glimpses of [cool nickname taiwan has]

drank a handle of vodka
cant handle this anymore

>>74548444
Congrats on the promotion lad

>>74548432
this actually looks good

>giving it (you)'s

>>74548553
Thank you

>>74548536
been in /brit/ a lot

>>74548548

>he fell for the "meme magic" meme

>>74548517
EDGE DETECTED
*DOGES BLAD*
*DRAWS PLYMOUTH ROCK*
*PARRIES UR 2ND STRIKE*
*HOLLER AT THE TOP OF MY VOCAL RANGE*
PLYMOUTH COUNTY
IS BETTER

Making some sopa

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>>74548510
It is Japan's little bastard child after all.

>>74548533
yes, i like them

>>74548536
just uploaded it 4u, it's unlisted as well

wish i had more motivation to do things like get a gf, pass all my classes, make friends, etc

>>74548586
if it inspires you to get those female #s post in even luso if u must

>>74548690
gay

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>>74547007
>>74547078
>>74547174
>>74547344
>>74547526
>>74547722
>>74547832
>>74548431
>>74548510
>>74548548
>>74548667
Gtfo here you weren't invited

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Who here /sorethroat/

>>74548656

>picks one of the most plebian Tswift songs

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Nap time

>>74548731
what's your favorite?

>>74548690
Take antidepressants

>>74548728
it's this change in weather

>>74548701
it doesn't

(((antidepressants)))

>>74548610
this is the end
there is no reversing this
majority of children will be non-white soon

fucking SA 2.0 coming up soon

>>74548792
what if hitlers ghost grabbed your crotch and demanded you get a girfs number would you do it then

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>antidepressants

How do I tell my parents I'm gay

>>74547843
Why is it centered on illinois. I live here. In the north we definitely refer to ourselves as great lakes. Though the more south you go the more like the south it is.

>>74548890
unlikely

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I wonder what she meant by this

>>74548888
Move to Quebec

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>>74548956
makes me think

>>74548888

would you like Big Anglo Intervention again?

>>74548930
find a strong handsome boyfriend who looks like macron or trudeau and tell ur parents this is your partner now

>>74548930
suck your dad's dick while your mom watches

>>74548390
There's less people in jail this year. They're trying to lighten the load. I think you're going to be right. Let's start a betting pool.

>>74548930

show them your Abba's greatest Hits CD

>>74549026
It sucks because my older brother is gay too. I know my dad calls him a fag

if we just allowed the police to shoot anyone they suspected of a crime it would have an eugenic effect on our country

Should I buy a GTX 1080 ti?

stop being gay

gf wants a gay son
she literally said shes going to raise him gay
not sure how to feel about it

>>74549096
if you are the last son who your parents think isn't gay, your dad will probably snap and become sad. sorry to make you feel bad but it should be expected. you still need to eventually reveal it though, and eventually I'm sure he'll come around if both his sons are gay.

also this is much better for lgbt to answer, but I hope this helps. good luck

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kq0Zx3tI2F4

https://my.mixtape.moe/zryjpc.mp4
tigers

>>74549169

no

If I had a gay son I'd beat the shit out of him desu

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>>74549070
nothing gay about abba

>>74549244
Why not?

>>74549166
>wipe out anyone but the shut ins
>shut ins rarely interact with each other
>world population decreases to sustainable levels
hmmmm

>>74549270

t. gay

one time i was in elementary school and my friend was having an asthma attack and i was helping him walk to the nurses office and then halfway there he said he was just pretending

>>74549311
Good post

>>74549328
I feel bad admitting this, but when I was little I would play up my asthma to get out of swimming and dodge homework assignments

one time i threw a pinecone at someone as a joke but it accidentally hit him right in the face and i ran away while he started screaming

Sometimes I would fake being sick so I wouldn't have to take a quiz in high school because I didn't study for it. I missed like 28days because of that.

>>74549400
>admits he threw a pine cone

>>74549400
WHAT"S YOUR NAME! YOU COULD'VE POKED HIS EYE OUT YUNG MAN! That's a one week suspension!

once told me my mom i was sick because i didn't want to go to school but she didn't believe me and i still had to go

I shot my friend in the head with an airsoft gun by accident

one time i was in science class and the girl next to me was giggling with the other girl across from us and then she started feeling my thigh and i was paralyzed from shock, then she started going up to my crotch but the other girl said, "stop, your making him uncomfortable!" then she stopped.

this is the same girl that caught me crying by myself and offered me an orange

>>74549513
you shouldve told her you like feet
then she wouldve believed you

>>74549513
same

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what did he mean by this?

>talking to t on sc
>doesn't remember any of the messages I've sent
>it's been less than 10 minutes between each one
What the are the cool kids drinking these days

>>74549551
one time in elementary school a much bigger girl grabbed me and said "you're really cute" and I started crying. she let me go and I ran away.

at work

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>>74549590
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsoMVxtKlGM

One time in high school in P.E class I was an aid to the teacher and he sent me to the girls locker room to lockup. Some girl got there late and I saw her tits by accident. I was so happy that entire day.

when i was like 14 me and my friend broke into this old mans house and just fucked with his shit didn't steal anything he told his parents and they called cops on me and i got in a lot trouble
i'll never forgive that faggot

>>74549658
>you will never be molested by a mentally retarded girl with unreasonable strength

>>74549513
I would swallow toothpaste the day before and get sick. Only did it a couple times (stopped working when the bod got bigger)

should i make steak, ribs, or pork chops?

>>74549590
*qt

>>74549765
grill up some steaks

Is it gay if my girlfriend has a penis but I don't??

>>74549765

steaks, of course

>>74549765
this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0PYZL8lMrA

background music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BX3T6YMeuo

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what is taiwanbud up to?
too bad he never takes pics of his gf's bare feet she looks QT

Lets fucking go Preds.

Me and my friends used to take protein shakes to high school for wresting. Our friend Wedge left his in our English class for like a week. It smelled like someone died and the teacher almost puked twice. Apparently it spilled on the carpet and we weren't allowed to have protein in school anymore.

when i was like 14 i went to a friend's birthday party and he invited the cute girl he liked
his plan was to play spin the bottle and kiss her but she spun it and it landed on me
>>74549797
>>74549831
good taste

if a woman wears no underwear what do you think of her?

>>74549590
sounds like she simply doesn't want to talk to you

>>74549859
i vaguely remember him posting a pic where her feet were visible once

>>74549894
Keklmao

>>74549909
not much

>>74549909

grills wearing only an oversized shirts are hot af

>>74549903
chad

>>74549914
yeah

>>74549909
thot

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Posting this again because it ruined my day and I want (You)s:

Last night I asked out the girl I have been crushing on for a while and she said yes and we were both so happy and relieved....

Then I woke up.

>>74549909
wow she must be a bit naughty

>>74549889
Booo. Nashville is a meme

>>74550004
Women are memes anyways

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/cum/ is horrible today but I don't know what else to do

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>>74550004

>>74550058
bet you wont do it faggot

>>74550004
well i'm pretty sure you're gonna dream of her again this night and maybe you will even get to kiss her :-)

>>74550041
I like women

>>74550075

squish the spiders for thinking I give them room and board for a measly nickel

>>74550075
hello fellow /r/wholesomememer :-D

>>74550101
faggot

>>74550075
hahaha upvoted but not quite gold worthy sorry bud :)

>>74550132
*upvotes*

in high school i was in marching band and we practiced alot with the cheerleaders and color guard/dance team so we had a lot of almost naked girls around us

but there were some gayboys in the dance team and they had to change with us and they were visibly uncomfortable, then one of the freshmen tattled and none of us got to roughhouse anymore

why would i want anything costly if i can only enjoy it 2 days a week? wagies are fucking retarded 2bh

>>74550137
But they're cute

>>74550127
>>74550149
>>74550163
>>74550112

An upvote to you good sir :-D

>marching band

lmao, what a tool

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ISbQntlH9n0

>>74550207
why

>>74550175
you realize you have all day after work to play

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>An upvote to you good sir :-D

>>74548251
delet this at once

>>74550246
>8 fucking hours
>if you have a family, most of it is spent watching kids or making food
>spend the remaining time stressing about having to work the next day

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>Wales

>>74550336
>Error: You cannot delete a post this old.
fucking moot

>>74550242
ignore the tasteless pleb and waggle your willy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXRQmu3gRWw

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> >An upvote to you good sir :-D

>own 4chan
>cant delet a post because its too old

embarrassing

>create question on Yahoo Answers 7 years ago
>Yahoo still lets complete morons reply to it and sends me emails about it
I hate yahoo

>>74550491
me

>>74550371
Tbh I've saved almost $25k in almost a year and I'm only 23. Its a meme entry level job but I'm pretty content

File: 1478780916614.jpg (38KB, 475x340px) Image search: [Google]

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>me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIyICeNvBbs

umm ok guys please give me more than 1 bar of wifi thanks

File: 1474668549413.jpg (88KB, 801x767px) Image search: [Google]

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Haha. As much as I love posting these memes with you guys I have to get ready to go volunteer at the homeless animal shelter.

when does the narwhal bacon?

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>>74550649
mmmmnope

>>74548930
Remember it's always better to tell them instead of have them find you being pounded by your boyfriend and disowning you. Don't make the same mistake

*steals the hospitals router*

heheheh

>>74550692
Midnight!

HAHA. Okay I really need to go get ready now :-P

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>volunteering

Fuck me, Its a gorgeous day but as soon as I went outside for a walk it started raining, sunshine and all but rain pouring. Went back home and it stopped

>>74550740
*routes my dick into your mouth*
nothin homo, kid

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just updated firefox
>>74550748
*gifts you reddit gold*

>>74550572
hate these posts
>i don't know you exist but if ur reading this i love you :3

So is France fucked or what

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7G1tHA6I4Q4

>>74550938
no they voted for someone who isnt racist

i hate sunshine. glad there was some comfy light rain when i woke up

>>74550938
Ya. Drumpf gonna create an even bigger refuge crisis as he destroys the moddle east even more

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>>74550938
race war soon

its ok lads i reconnected to the wifi and get full siganal now.
back to full shitposting strength

>>74550938
no, they've been saved

>>74551003
fix back the post cooldowns you dumb jap

tfw need to go to the grocery store because i dont have any steak

>>74551070
Buy a pass and disable adblock

>giving hiroshimoot your shekels

sunshine is awful
wish it rained more here in seattle

>>74551266
>>74550982
How to spot autists

it has rained 105 of the last 130 days

>living in a state without a flat landscape
how are you going to see invading armies?

>willingly paying for Gookmoot's filipino hookers
LMAOing at ur life

we're mountain men around these parts

>>74551316
i enjoy the valley

>not living in comfy foothills as a mixture of the best of \ both worlds

ISHYGDDTitYoOLaS2

>not living in easily defended mountain terrain
lmao look at these cucks who want time to prepare themselves for the rectal ravaging they know they will receive

>>74551347
>posted from a 4chan vip account
what did he mean by this?

WTF some faggot kids just busted my car window.

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>How to spot autists

>living in Canada

>>74551446
yeah bud eh

>>74551446
Canada is pretty

>>74551404
shoot them

just busted some fag's car window with the buds

>>74551483

t. Canadian on holiday

>>74551483
y-you too

>>74551483
yeah, pretty gay

I'm totally able to buy a 4chan pass but i ain't gon do it

>>74551512
Nah, Maine and I'm not far from the border

>order something with 2 day prime shipping yesterday
>still hasnt even begun processing

reee

>>74551657
>he lives next to canada

Midwesterners are the most powerful race in the world

lol no

>>74551886

who is this?

>>74551886
>california
Is anyone surprised?

>>74551935
a gay man

>>74551886
delet

FOB

need more brits here

>toronto basketball
Lmao

>>74552049
fuck limeys

>>74552049
fuck off nigel, we're full

http://i.4cdn.org/gif/1494132865382.webm

>>74552049
Agree

>>74552073
no we aren't you worthless chi filth

>wanting limeys in /cum/

kys

>>74552143
i'm white, unlike the eternal anglo

>>74552103
hmmm don't watch boxing but this doesn't seem allowed

>Sich von irgendeiner höchstens mittelfristig getesteten scheiße im hirn rumpfuschen lassen
>viele leute verdienen daran und keiner hat ein interesse daran dass du wieder davon runterkommst
ne danke

Anonymous 05/07/17(Sun)23:28:12 No.74549810>>74549890 >>74549929

Wer im Krieg gegen ein /ScheissSystem/ hier?

Anonymous 05/07/17(Sun)23:28:31 No.74549824>>74549947 >>74549967 >>74550142
IMG_0952.jpg (694 KB, 1280x960) google yandex iqdb wait
694 KB

War jemand von euch schon mal in einem Antiquitätenladen? Gibt es bestimmt tolle Sachen

Anonymous 05/07/17(Sun)23:28:36 No.74549829

>>74549738
Schlimm, nicht?

Anonymous 05/07/17(Sun)23:28:46 No.74549845
1491953240013.png (101 KB, 460x242) google yandex iqdb wait
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>>74549738

Anonymous 05/07/17(Sun)23:29:00 No.74549857

>>74549738
>dfw gerade Das Cabinet des Dr.Caligari sehend

Anonymous 05/07/17(Sun)23:29:21 No.74549872>>74550103

>>74549719
So ein Quatsch. Würde mich beleidigt fühlen wenn irgend so ein Seelenklempner mir vorschreiben will was ich zu denken hab

Anonymous 05/07/17(Sun)23:29:25 No.74549881>>74549952 >>74549969

>>74549738
>Schindlers Liste
schau ich mindestens einmal im jahr. der film ist unironisch gemütlich zum anschauen, ich versuch nicht mal kantig zu sein
der hat einfach alles was ein film braucht

Anonymous 05/07/17(Sun)23:29:31 No.74549883>>74549945 >>74550007 >>74550019
Anonymous 05/07/17(Sun)23:29:39 No.74549890
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>>74549810
*zeigt auf*

Anonymous 05/07/17(Sun)23:29:58 No.74549911>>74550007

Militär/Zivildienst untauglich? Ich habe keine Allergien (ausser Grass) und bin ziemlich sportlich.

Anonymous 05/07/17(Sun)23:30:41 No.74549945

AfD ist, dass ihr eine charismatische Führungsperson fehlt.

Anonymous 05/07/17(Sun)23:32:47 No.74550053>>74550224

>>74549800
dfsfds
sdffsd

File: chi.jpg (7KB, 200x250px) Image search: [Google]

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>i'm white

>>74552103
bruh he knocked every single drop of sweat from his head

>>74552196
kickboxing
mma
chink stuff like that

*filters*

*filters every non-/cum/ flag*

*filters every /cum/ flag*
much better

*filters name /./*
now 4chan is bearable

>>74552401
what's your county

allow an obese African-American have sexual intercourse

>>74552494
san diego, why

File: Screenshot_20170507_172039.png (170KB, 1141x179px) Image search: [Google]

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this is a top story in Canada, covered by many national and international news agencies

>>74552600

Canada YES

>>74552600
cute

>gun broker won't load on my phone

JUST

>>74552600
JT is the hero we don't deserve

I would kill to have an Italian slap my face with his greasy cock

>>74552764
wish we had a JT

>>74552550
you're an impostor

>>74552792
wya

don't even know why i bother looking at yuro current events, who the fuck cares about their stupid bullshit

>>74552813
of who

File: 1490474716095.jpg (119KB, 674x768px) Image search: [Google]

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faith in humanity restored :D

>>74547007
This looks shopped

>>74547862
I also thought it was shit

>>74553030
fuck you so much

>tfw no gf

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is daisy the best thing to come out of star wars?

>>74553212
who

>>74553169
why

>>74553212
what

File: 0rraF4v.jpg (2MB, 1752x2336px) Image search: [Google]

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>>74553212
incorrect

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>>74553347
bunny has no place here

imagine how wonderful the world would be without germany

>>74553565
>>74553565
>>74553565