/brit/

PUA master here

you wanna get laid? do the following:
lead off with a neg and then look for IOI's, make sure you escalate quickly and keep playfully insulting while laying foundation, but don't forget to agonize her friends while giving off clarity of intent, look for affirmations (her breathing) and keep communication frequency at compliance, she will shit test you so build credibility by direct game, using the disarm approach wingman. Drop anchor, then eject while eye glazing using the implicit technique, one she's lockedout nickle back her till game over

plymouth is actually an alright place

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>>74406989

>>74407011

*negs you*

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/hm/

Well lads?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-4466158/Ten-defining-qualities-look-husband.html

1. He messages you to check you've gotten home safe - and stays awake until he knows you have.
2. He's the man who doesn't try and change you and loves you for who you are.
3. He sends flowers to your office 'just because'.
4. He motivates you to achieve more and be a better person than you already are.
5. He never makes you doubt how he feels about you and constantly reassures you that you're the one for him.
6. He pays for everything out of respect and would never let you spend a penny on anything.
7. You still get butterflies when you walk into the room and see him.
8. He isn't afraid to kiss you in public.
9. He will always text you back - no questions asked.
10. You'd proudly introduce him to your father.

*pozzes you*

>>74407011
This pasta needs updated desu

>>74407012
>implying there is a difference

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>>74407011
easy there rob
shan't be reading that wall

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me

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>send an absolute smasher of a message to a girl
>she views my profile
>no reply

>>74407035
I have forsaken women

would gladly lose one or two fingers in exchange for good mental health

>>74407035
Upon reaching the flowers bit I've come to the conclusion that this list is bollocks

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/hm/

>>74407088

wats wrong with ya

cannot stand how you cunts hold back your posts at the end of a thread just to spam them in the next one
fucking pathetic

>>74407035
1. is the only thing that isn't bullshit

My friend from school is having his FIFTH kid this year lads. He's only 27.

Fucking mental.

>>74407112
This sadcunt probably gets a match every hour

>>74407121
metal morty *burp*

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>The UK's most popular baby names have been revealed in a new survey, with Muhammed and Amelia topping the charts for the capital

>>74407130
I don't like doing it, but it works!

Time for the 5th mug of tea this morning

@74407130

(You)s are a big fucking deal okay.

>>74407130
Haha holy shit you're autistic

Give me one good reason to post when we've reached 310

>>74407161
>mug
FOY

>>74407081
'rgin 'lk
>>74407111
yes I also saw the reddit frontpage and as much as I'd love to shit on yanks this is fake

>>74407155
>jack
>amelia
why?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ketSzgD7EDA
post ambient choones

on my way home from the maternity ward

fifth time this year

bought some absolutely primo hot sauce from M&S the other day

never understood why Sriracha is such a massive meme, it's alright but it's not particularly amazing or anything.

>>74407161
woke up around 10:30 and having my third

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>tfw found out my cousin who is years younger than me and still in school has had a gf for years
>tfw a KHV in my 20s

>>74407155
this is only because all pakis are called mohammed, if all the whites were called tom then it would be the most popular

Never heard the name Amelia or Jacob on someone I know IRL

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why do all normskulls open their mouth and stick their tongue out when they take a picture

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>>74407058

@74407165
cunt
>>74407168
if you weren't an attention seeking runt you'd post whenever you think of it

>>74407200
Shut up bitter spergboi

>>74407193
Sounds like he's just being himself.

>>74407213
go away turtlephimo

>>74407155
Its Muhammad you cuck

So sick of thainonce using a britflag to post using his VPN (virtual private nonces)

have impregnated the gf four times and we've aborted each one

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Cold rice, and a little rat meat, the only R&R I need

With May going full paranoid mouth frothing nutcase last night there is no chance of a Tory win anymore, just Vote Lib dem as it will be funniest if they win and even funnier if people vote for a hard brexit in the post election referendum they have planned. Can you imagine the look on Tim farron's face the next day? And Nick Clegg? He would be on suicide watch if he was forced to put the UK through a hard brexit despite being so pro EU, the amount of butthurt would be like when David Cameron had to resign times one million.

Vote Lib Dem.

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alri lads, off for a tinder date, do i look okay?

>>74407155
imagine actually being white and living in london
terrifying

>>74407240
nonce

>>74407235
>>74407240
jiggling

>>74407240
Fucking rotten paki cunt

>>74407240
mate...

>>74407240
disgusting rat

>>74407235
>>74407240
kek

>>74407248
Yeah

Looking good

Holy fuck Britain is getting completely btfo
https://www.forbes.com/sites/francescoppola/2017/04/30/the-uk-government-is-completely-deluded-about-brexit/#3310d48f4f04

>>74407240
kys rasheed you mucky twat

Can't get a gf so considering paying for a prozzie instead

>>74407012
Kek

>>74407247
>there is no chance of a Tory win anymore
Are you a gambling man?

>>74407234
to be fair you'd do a vpn too. i was a Cypriot once

>everyone who has posted their face on /brit/ has been relatively handsome
>everyone who has posted their face literally anywhere else on the site has been disgustingly ugly
hmmmm really making me think

>>74407248
don't understand where the fuck is he standing
is this a bad photoshop what's with the virgin stand?

>74407293
ebin
simple ebin

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I am so fucking pathetic lads

been chatting and seeing this qt from one of my courses, often in my room well into the night until she walks home (lives in the same uni accomodation as me). few days ago she came at 10:30 to pick up something she'd left behind and we stayed talking in my room until 12:30. she was asking me about past relationships, said she hadn't been on a date in over a month, was literally lying across my bed while I sat at my desk chair and still I didn't know what to do.

tried to get her around yesterday but asked at short notice and she was busy, don't know if she'll bother with me after being such a sperg and ignoring such obvious signs. can't ask her back anytime soon or I'll look desperate and even then I'm too autistic to make it clear I want to fuck

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hate this update
i hit clear all all the time and never intentionally

>>74407240
Four abortions, Jeremy? Four? That's insane.

>>74407273
Hmmm
http://www.coppolacomment.com/p/about-this-blog.html

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>why yes, i do use a proxy to get rare flags so people (you) me on /brit/

>>74407329
Lmao spacker

>>74407319
the disgustingly ugly people here don't post face x

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>tfw you make a negative remark about a picture because you envy the subject's sneakers
ah yes

>>74407035
>1. He messages you to check you've gotten home safe - and stays awake until he knows you have.
>letting women travel alone
shiggy diggy do

>2. He's the man who doesn't try and change you and loves you for who you are.
Mostly true, it's hard to change a woman fundamentally but you have to steer her from time to time.

>3. He sends flowers to your office 'just because'.
Just because? No.

>4. He motivates you to achieve more and be a better person than you already are.
Doesn't this clash with 2? Or is there an implication that he achieves this unintentionally?

>5. He never makes you doubt how he feels about you and constantly reassures you that you're the one for him.
Absolute bollocks, women hate emotionally incontinent men.

>6. He pays for everything out of respect and would never let you spend a penny on anything.
Obviously since it's a single-earner household.

>7. You still get butterflies when you walk into the room and see him.
Ok.

>8. He isn't afraid to kiss you in public.
Intimacy is fo the bedroom.

>9. He will always text you back - no questions asked.
Wait your turn.

>10. You'd proudly introduce him to your father.
Alri.

>>74407012
same person iih

>>74407329
u dumb cunt
stop watching porn

>>74407329
FONT

>74407352
>not using every method possible to get (you)s
casual

really not appreciatting the lack of (You)s ITT
reply to me now I want to feel aknowledged

>>74407352
gas station
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SNTpZdFhwo

http://www.ebay.com/itm/162476657180

just bought this for the old car

thoughts?

reminder that Essex is the last bastion of the white Londoner

>>74407405

ALRI ALRI ALRI

>>74407377
>actually spending time addressing each statement
fucking weirdo

>>74407419
It's also a horrible fucking shithole

Really makes u think

>>74407433
we do NOT bully each other in /brit/
if anon is on the spectrum, we will accomodate and work around that

>>74407443
shan't be engaging with this utter nonsense Rasheed, I've better things to do

rate the brekkie:
1 cup of coffee
2 nicotine gum

>>74407321

the side of the bed lad. the wooden frame. the blanket is covering it

>>74407293
RARE

>>74407419
we should let it die desu

both london, essex and anywhere else with even a hint of cockney accent need a good dresdening

>>74407458
Tell me why I'm wrong

That's right you can't

>>74407487
you're up late today Rasheed

>>74407155
Been unironically considering naming my kid Amelia over the last few years. Really like the sound of the name and meaning. Was this one cute but a bit troubled lass with the name at school and her smile was pretty sweet. For some reason I remember her a bit strongly

doing a listen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OBLAW7oQYo

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east london lads ww@

i like to call people subhumans for fun

>>74407496
can't? or SHAN'T?

hint: it's the latter

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>>74407377
>Doesn't this clash with 2? Or is there an implication that he achieves this unintentionally?
yes, and if you're in an actual relationship and there's something you'd like your partner to improve or change, you should tell your partner. Fuck that "love her for who he is" bullshit>>74407421
alri....

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>>74407507
>Was this one cute but a bit troubled lass with the name at school and her smile was pretty sweet. For some reason I remember her a bit strongly

dededadado daddeda deeedadoedeado
here we go

>>74407517
me on top

YEW UTTAH FOOKING MOWRON

>3. He sends flowers to your office 'just because'.
>6. He pays for everything out of respect and would never let you spend a penny on anything.

absolute deano tier relationship advice

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https://youtu.be/nWSWCuMAO2Q

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>>74407384
I think I was waiting for this part of dateariane ahahaha
had already shown off 3/4 markers (funny, cute and smart) but maybe didn't hit sexy

>>74407396
hardly

this place stinks of normie

>>74407529
Definitely can't. Pathetic.

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>>74407548
me cuddling u

>>74407581
>regularly talking to qt
>she comes to your room
>she wants your penis
FONT

The Spectator>The Telegraph>The Times>Financial Times>The BBC>The Economist

Other outlets aren't worth bothering with

>>74407586
Ahh that's my knob whiffing of fanny haven't showered since I last had sex 2bh sorry lad x

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6eYHSNf_0nc

I'm the black guy in this video

>>74407606
good post if you replace The Economist with the The Private Eye

>>74407556
My feminist sister came crying to me once because her boyfriend broke up with her after she made a scene at a restaurant because she insisted on splitting the bill.

My dad is 68 years old and has been smoking for for 54 years and never coughs and can run and jump still like a younger man. Explain that, atheists

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>>74407443
the best musician of all time was raised there you shut the fuck up moro
>>74407471
alri Joji
now show boipucci

If afflictions make men wise, and wisdom direct to happinesse, then certainly this Nation is not far from such a degree thereof, as may compare if not far exceed, any part of the world: having for some yeare's by-past, drunk deep of the Cup of misery and sorrow. We blesse God our consciences are cleer from adding affliction to affliction, having ever laboured from the beginning, of our publick distractions, to compose and reconcile them: & should esteem it the Crown of all our temporal felicity that yet we might be instrumentall in procuring the peace and prosperity of this Common-wealth the land of our Nativity.

And therefore according to our promise in our late manifestation of the 14 of April 1640. (being persuaded of the necessitie and justnesse thereof) as a Peace-Offering to the Free people of this Nation, we tender this ensuing Agreement, not knowing any more effectuall means to put a finall period to all our feares and troubles.

It is a way of settlement, though at first much startled at by some in high authority; yet according to the nature of truth, it hath made its own way into the understanding, and taken root in most mens hearts and affections, so that we have reall ground to hope (what ever shall become of us) that our earnest desires and indeavours for good to the people will not altogether be null and frustrate.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x34icYC8zA0

>>74407612
>The Private Eye
>The

Sick and tired of seeing nonwhites here

>>74407607
Aren't you the guy who never pulls at clubs?

>>74407606
Bedfordshire on Sunday > All

>>74407606
tarqorke

/pol/ is literally less biased than the BBC

>>74407597
think anyone who's played dateariane obsessively (me) is a far cry from normie

>>74407620
not a single pixel
>>74407624
good post
>>74407633
hmm splendid post

>>74407635
Eh? I always pull at clubs. You're thinking of Madridlad probably

the BNP is left-wing

>>74407650
failed normie at worst

>>74407672
wtf I hate the BNP now

doing a launch
https://youtu.be/Uxd3Hd5DP6Y

Ah, yes, contemporary korean altright youth "culture"

https://youtu.be/6Htz-m7esw0

>>74407672
Fascism has traditionally used left-wing economics, yes

>>74407677
accurate tbf

Would NOT want a wife of mine to work professionally. Full time mother and housewife or fuck off.

Hoping to get to £50k pa by thirty to make this viable (currently 26 and on £38k).

what language should I learn lads? don't find any of the easy ones like French interesting but more complicated ones like jap are too hard

>>74407733
alri chris hitchens

thoughts on conspiracy theories?

>>74407733
Sheed

>>74407736
Romansh

>>74407736
Russian

It's sort of in the middle

>>74407736
Abo

>>74407736
Polish

>>74407763
russian is hard as fuck

oh tell me why do we build castles in the sky

>>74407733
lmao enjoy your bottle of the barrel bint, unless your religious you wont find a good one

>>74407329
2bh, what are you supposed to do in this situation? if she wont say anything would you just walk over and kiss her or something?

*summons all posters to an emergency /brit/ meeting*

Lads, I have an announcement

always assumed Christopher Hitchens was a lefty, was quite surprised to find out he became a massive Rorke

>>74407704
Quality

>>74407736

Esperanto

>>74407736
You can open a lot of doors if you want to enter the public service with something like Indonesian which supposedly isn't too difficult
If you're just doing it as a hobby sort of thing then probably not too interesting

>>74407736
Spanish is top tier for sex
Korean sounds fun and IIRC has earn awards for how good and cool it is
it's also incredibly easy in comparison to other SEA languages

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nothing like a mirror to cut your ego down to size

>>74407787
Nah, it looks scary with that alphabet but it's not as hard as all that. Far more similar to English than fucking Japanese and the like.

>>74407806
spit it out cunt

>>74407792
I am religious and intend to look for the wife in religious circles tbqh.

i get thursdays and sundays off work and every time i just end up taking loads of cocaine and drinking about 15 cans of lager and doing mad shit. i live on the edge of the peak district in derbyshire and certain places like castleton are packed with tourists so i got 20 quid in pound coins and chucked it at the parking meter and sat back in my car just to see what would happen. some woman came and paid for her parking from the change on the ground then some cunt came and picked it all up while i sat in my car chugging a can of stella. then i walked into a pub and ordered 2 pints and downed them in front of all the shocked customers

>>74407823
always take my glasses off when i look into a mirror for this reason

>>74407748
most are bullshit but some are based on truth
know it all redditors are quick to mock them but they've been proven right sometimes

Seems to be very hard for me to find a girlfriend

>>74407823
i usually look pretty good in the mirror but i'm a gargoyle in photos

http://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1493888416991.webm

>>74407834
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ixRWvrkUHo

>>74407856
t. tinfoil digimon

>>74407823
Have the opposite experience, got no selfconfidence normally but when I look at myself in a mirror I get a little boost for a bit

have a gay friend and he usually smells faintly of poo whenever i meet him

>London riots were 6 years ago

Rubbing out people's incorrect votes in the polling station desu

>>74407902
>smells faintly of poo

think your joking but i know people like this. they're usually older and not fat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HR4hp_-kSI
choon

big willies in my bum haha

doing an anxiety
might do a drunk to even it out

>>74407919
he's 28 and pretty fit, as gay men tend to be

>>74407856
thoughts on pizzagate?

>>74407736
Turkish

have yet to see a single ugly australian on this general yet they're the ones who post feels the most
>>74407834
the Queen has a hairy twat
>>74407888
one day I'm accused of being an ultra left tumblr feminist, the next I'm a filthy redditor, today I'm a tinfoil wearing nutjob
ah yes

lmao that mad man Maduro

>>74407710
'no'

>>74407952
>one day I'm accused of being an ultra left tumblr feminist, the next I'm a filthy redditor, today I'm a tinfoil wearing nutjob
these arent mutually exclusive

doing a looksmaxing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X61DJTWjVX0

>>74407941
bullshit most likely
but wouldn't be surprised if the podesta man was actually a nonce

sick of these yank tourists

http://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1493878629426.webm

>>74407823
Always enjoy my mirror reflection but hate my window reflection

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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brit_milah#Oral_suction


what the ACTUAL FUCK

badly need a slang word for the left wing version of the rorke

>>74407973
rorke

>>74407982
ekror

>>74407979
you only just found out about this?

>>74407982
rasheed

>>74408021
rasheed is the muslim version of the rorke

>>74408006
hmmm

>>74407982
bizarro rorke

>>74407961
but I'm none of them (except redditor)
>>74407976
bit nosy that lad
>>74408001
now I'm an ultra left, ultra right feminist nut job
ah sí

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uy9e-Sy0vTA
poo tune

>>74407736
russian, easier than gook languages but harder than french/german

it's good fun

>>74407943
don't bother with this

>>74407969
fix yourself Swebro.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pPD8Ja64mRU

>>74408040
fuck off reddit

>>74407982
Rashorke
Rorsheed

watching a shitty obscure movie from the early 70s

>>74407982
tarquin

>>74408051
*gives you gold*

>>74408058
awful suggestions

>>74408071
idiot

>>74407815
Original ver.
https://youtu.be/vYibVU6Wbas

>>74408077
I could quite easily deck you 2bh

>>74408088
hahaha alri tarq

willy feels itcyh

>>74408066
name?

>>74408100
Don't care

sick of each and every one of you runts. if I ever cross paths with you I'll bash your fucking heads in, you'll be a dead sack of shite before you can blink.

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creasing

>>74408101
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0065594/

only reason i'm watching is because my mum said it scared the shit out of her when she was a kid

>>74408100
my bumhole gets itchy when there's poo there maybe you have poo in your willy

>>74408125
t. ahmed

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Office supplies runt bought the wrong frequency ram.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6inJMhYcqA

>>74408139
*pees out poo*
ah right

>>74408142
Is that her

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poo

>>74408164
if you like

>>74408163
Racist old cunt
Wish he had keeled over now

how do i get a trashy yank gf lads

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>why yes, i will vote labour; a party that encourages paki rape gangs

>>74408181
ekror

>>74408182
move to yankistan

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>>74407794
yeah that's what I was thinking, didn't know how to make the transition to the bed

could've thought of something though, it was late and I was a little tired so I could've asked to sit next to her to lie down

funnily enough I remember I was in this situation with her a few days ago and I did get on the bed to recreate this time I vommed over the side of it, but I couldn't take the pressure of being right next to her so I went straight back to the chair
ahhhhhh fuck me, painful remembering that

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>anon. fancy pounding my tight pink hole?

>>74408181
abos aren't human

>>74407982
Robespierre

went for a day out at the seaside lads, it did NOT go well

http://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1491689887476.webm

>>74408142
sometimes i see troubled people around my age and think 'hmm maybe i should befriend them'
then i remember they'd be a complete handful so i don't bother

>>74408217
yeah desu

>>74408217
begone, thot

>>74408239
Thanks for letting me know

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>>74408231

sick of yanks

sink of poms

stink of aussies

fannies are gross and so are willies

humans are disgusting

>>74408239
thoughtful

sick of britsharts

>>74408090
wish I was fluent in korean
>>74408137
you're right it looks like shit
>>74408231
why was he being recorded

>>74408256
asian girl in your pic looks troubled

sick of reddit comment chains

*voices my opinion on the subject matter*

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>humans are disgusting

>>74408291
oh I see, I thought you replied to me by mistake.

>>74408280
bender

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>>74408309
GOT IM

>>74408288
well you know there's some enjoyment to be had out of shitty b horror movies

wonder if elvira ever showed it on midnight madness back in the day

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>photo.jpg

Just been on a 4 mile run and forgot to take my water bottle
Had a hill that was about a mile long and it was fucking suffering

who here /bbqsauceaddict/
just put some on mummys spagbol and its very good

*blocks your way*

Might buy a motorbike, seems like a good idea if you're a suicidal male in his 20's.

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>>74408346
Are you all sweaty and hot?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benis

>>74408188
voting labour today and in june :^)
get over it rorke

>>74408323
always hated the horror genre no matter the quality
might watch House just to see why it gained a cult following

>>74407181
jack is a really popular here too
t. jack

I'm listening to Megadeth which is pretty rebellious of me as my Mum never formally retracted her ban

>>74408369
ekror

>>74408360
Might see you on Best Gore, m80

>>74408365
that's a funny way to spell penis

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You arrive in Barnsley

>>74408369
alri rasheed

>>74408389
yank music

>>74408280
stop saying gross. gross is big maybe ugly. don't be American.
we suppose not guess too

>>74408334
just wanted to add a pic of some runt youtuber I found
that's it, won't be trying to make a gimmick ever again

>>74408408
*unleashes a toxic trump*

>>74408408
hop on back of that horse taxi like shit boii

>>74408408
me in the 'dora

500mg of 'cetamol straight up the jacksie lads

>>74408430
you can't hold out against americanisation forever, just give in

>>74408446
ermm yeah well ya got one in your white house!!!

30 pints please, and one for yourself

>>74408408
I WANT TO GO BACK
I WANT TO GO BACK
IT ISN'T FAIR REEEEE

>>74408427
inshallah yes

>>74408430
we have to accept at some point that aussies are just desert yanks with less sharts and a better shitposting ability

>>74408459
never
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NINOxRxze9k

Wait, there's an election today? I've never voted before, what do I do?

>>74408507
There is no political solution

>being smug about voting labour
they're literally going to get smashed

>>74408507
its on the 8th you child

reckon if you arent even a state in an independent country you shouldnt be allowed to post here 2bh

>>74408489
just like we have to accept that texas is just mexico lite with less beheadings

>>74408369
Rostov

>>74408489
We really don't shart

>>74408561
agree, especially since they're officialy a majority there

>>74408362
Just had a shower, so not any more
Deadlifts at the gym tomorrow so hope me legs aren't too knackered

>>74408574
you literally do though lad it's just your arses are so massive you don't notice most of the time

Phillip is stepping down. BORING AS FUCK

>>74408564
hmm

i approve of this slang term

>>74408621
shitty banter lad

>>74408618
>>74408618
>>74408618

New

>>74408618
>>74408618
>>74408618

>>74408467
>I want to go back to the filth, disease, stench, illiteracy, and hopeless back-breaking toil because I'm that much of a malcontent runt to think I'd have it better
You'd vomit the second you got a nostril-full of the horseshit and BO-filled air, and you'd drop dead after a single 16 hour shift at the workhouse.

>>74408506
God bless France. big dick Air.

gays

>>74407845
How does one find a lass in religious circles?

>>74407293
rare

>>74407293
tfw you already have it