/brit/

USA

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>>74295255
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/british-spy-plane-tracked-russia-kaliningrad-rivet-joint-mobile-app-flightradar24-planefinder-a7710581.html

POO S A

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gf just sent me this

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yanks in

>>74295305
*claps*

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Felix.

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*walks towards you*

class is irrelevant
it's all about NRS social grade

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lol

>>74295339
what exactly am i watching?

life is a bit shit at the moment

in my first ever job
spending the weekends studying for another job's assessment centre
had an injury and can't lift till end of may.

chakras severely misaligned.

>>74295368
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0azRlQ1uf9o

google earths got a web app now leds

>need to create an account to view the results of the test the leaf did
oh FUCK OFF

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did not expect this desu
wonder what the 17% difference is, though

>>74295285
Hiding in plane sight

>>74295370
>had an injury and can't lift till end of may.
in the same boat la, won't be lifting until the 10th of may, a full month of not lifting

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>Phoned virgin media because my internet is fucked
>Argue with some pajeet woman on the phone for 20 mins
>Finally she tells me she'll send an engineer out
>For today, 1st of May
>"It's a bank holiday are you sure you mean that date?"
>"Yes between 12 and 4pm"
>it's 3:30pm still no engineer lad

I got fucking played didn't I boys?

>>74295397
let the pakis in lad

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*OOP OOP*

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hmm ahh yes

>>74295397
'mmunist

brb gotta poo..might just take /brit/ with me hehehehe

>>74295460
nah i've just done some reading on him and he actually seems like a decent lad
wants to curb immigration and make labour an actual party that cares about working people again.

>>74295391
ah right
do you watch this shit? can't imagine anything more autistic desu

>>74295408
I've had 3 months of not liftng

which is annoying because i had another 3 months of not lifting prior to that (because of a gf) and i was just starting to make back the gains i had lost during that period before the injury happened (not a lifting injury either)

>>74295368
brazilian jiu-jitsu

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alright

>>74295456
>>74295397
whats the link lads?

>>74295493
How is it autistic?

GOT TOMATO AND MASCDARPONE,
TOMATO AND GIRLLED PEPER
OR PESTO ROSSO

which one should i eat with my pasta

>>74295456
sheed

Haha I got BoJo as the politician closest to my own views. What am I like?

>>74295550
all 3

>>74295548
it isn't
he's a cunt

>>74295553
'orke

>>74295568
nah.

which ONE

ffs BBC news changed their layout again

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Am I ottermode lads? Or am I still too fat

>>74295591
rasheed

>>74295594
flip a coin

>>74295618
rorke

>>74295622
3 sided coin?

>>74295548
>>74295572
come on laddos... you don't seriously watch """fight science""" videos do you?

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>No.74295618

>>74295639
yea

>>74295616
Your neck's bigger than your legs

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>ground rumbles
>horses winneying in the distance
>gunshots crack
>YEEEEHAAAAWWW

they're here lads

>>74295691
delete this post mate

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Nice little collection I've got going, is it not?

>>74295691
>YEEEEHAAAAWWW
WWWAAAAHEEEEY

>>74295691
>gif
fuck off

Mum keeps nicking cutlery from restaurants
Got way too many long spoons and she never uses them

>>74295717
digging the impartial nature of your posts

I stopped biting my nails now I can't figure out how long they're supposed to be and when I'm supposed to clip them.

Help lads

NEED to move to a small Italian city

got a mad hairline so it's mister hat

>>74295678
Haven't been able to squat for a while, think I fucked a disk up

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>>74295713
>/a/
>/r9k/
>/v/

>>74295784
problem mate?

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I used this one, nice 80% lib dem.
pretty accurate, desu.

dad keeps nicking copper out of abandoned houses lads

Oy lads

i just want a qt 3.14 hot af muslim gf

is that so much to ask?

>>74295808
>70% Sinn fein
Disgusting

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SO SALLY CAN WAIT

>>74295810
que onda venezuela

The one thought that always strikes me after a wank is 'I don't want to bother with having a gf'

A moment of delusion or honesty? You decide.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDFFHaz9GsY

Who else listens to this when they have a wank? I imagine I'm at an orchestra and I'm just sitting in one of the seats by myself having a tug to them playing.

>>74295828

Know what's really fucking weird? Five years ago, I voted Tory.

How we age, eh? That SF is grim though, will give you that.

>>74295829
SHE KNOWS IT'S TOO LATE AS WE'RE WALKING ON BY

http://www.strawpoll.me/12871950/r
http://www.strawpoll.me/12871950/r
http://www.strawpoll.me/12871950/r
second referendum underway

>>74295844
Pretty well and you?

>>74295870
both
you want to want to bother but you won't

>>74295925
>linking to the results
hmmm try again sweety

>>74295885
I prefer listening to "La donne e mobile" it gets me rather stiff

>>74295942
tranquilo mano
saque un foto por la ventana porfi xx

>>74295885
Try the Cavalry Charge remix by Hans Zimmer

>>74296020
Ando sin telefono marico, se fundio esa mierda

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>>74295650
me on the right, you the runt on the left

>>74295925
breggzit means breggzit

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Might need a hair chop lads

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>Your political beliefs would be considered Centrist on an ideological scale.

Yet another test that says this

breakfast means branflakes

>>74296129
imagine if eggman shaved his head bald

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reviewbrah is behind tim

>>74296157
>DUP
>BNP
Nowt centrist about you son

>>74296177
legitimately good

brentford means brentford

>>74296196
>near 50% for almost every party

Yeah mate I'd say there is

>>74296157
BLOODY racist

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what the UK really needs is some political realignment. Most Tory and Labour MPs should belong in a different party

Need my arse heemed by a muslim

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N A Z B O L G A N G

>>74296250
>yfw Blair being closer to May than Corbyn isn't a meme

>>74296250
can't decide if clegg, blair or farron are more based

>>74296250
Why have you flipped the usual format of this. If I ever encountered a fucking moronic slug like you in real life you'd be eating pavement in under a picosecond. Holy fucking shit what is wrong with you.

>>74296023
Ohhhh, its vuvuzela guy... back at it again with the shit tastes!

VUVU... ZELAAAAA mon frere

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work tomorrow

>>74296310
it's the website layout numpty

brexistentialism

Bullying Brits on /v/ haha

oneitis is actually replying to my texts. very happy

>>74296348
What? Fuck off mong. Say that to my face, you'd be bloody nan bread.

>nan bread

The ex gfs is sending me nudes on snapchat again

who here has an /int/ bf

>nan bread

Need a lovely film to watch on this lovely day

>>74296403
paki. bet you gripe about people saying muzlim instead of moose leem

>>74296443
she fit?

>>74296456
Begotten

Watching Noel fielding luxury comedy

VERY good

New gimmick:

When you post a gimmick, look at yourself in a mirror and mischievously grin at yourself.

*nods respectfully towards you*

>>74296466
*examines the ethnic makeup of your country*
hmm... better luck next time, kiddo

>>74296361
pretty but useless
i'd rather see something where the other guy doesn't wait for the moves to be made on him

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and the interesting thing about naan bread is that Naan is Persian for "bread" meaning we have all been saying "bread bread" this entire time

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Much love if you remember what this show is and can name every character

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>>74295320
>tits intensifies

I hate being in work yet when I'm not in work like today I do fuck all but sit in my room being bored. Doesn't help when the weather is shit.

>>74296529
the mighty reddit

>>74296506
less pakis per capita than you, rasheed

>>74296450
>>74296403
This is a great way to detect 'sheeds

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had a bizarre dream last night

it was about my previous cat who died of kidney failure. she was in the form of a curvaceous catgirl and she came to my room and laid next to me on my bed. i then cuddled her and she cuddled me back and we just laid there cuddling and then i said "im sorry" because i knew she was going to die soon. then i woke up feeling profoundly upset

>>74296529
Who's the black lad?

only got up an hour ago and not had anything to eat until now qui expo non verum factum this is breakfast

I hate how my job is just going to a building and doing thing then when I leave I want nothing to do with the job or my coworkers until the next day.

I wish I had a job that was a part of my lifestyle or intertwined with it. What kind of jobs are like this?

>>74296559
jaja, y que?

>>74296571
screaming my head off at this post

>>74296570
can't believe you didn't fuck your cat

>>74296564
I think they're calling you a rasheed for saying "nan bread" instead of "tatey bread" or "brown bread" you fucking paki

what do you smell of lads?

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was he literally our guy?

>>74296564
>Is literate
>Therefore a Rasheed
You're a snivelling runt

>>74296520
want to punch that smarmy little nonce twerp clean in the jaw

https://youtu.be/Lf_vStcnDls

Back when British comedy was good before all the inbetweeners "Deano" shit

>>74296553
you're me basically

i always dream up these grand plans for the weekends yet when it comes i don't have the drive to do anything

>>74296593
yeah same
>What kind of jobs are like this?
bar work

>>74296593
making asmr videos

>>74296623
eggs

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is it true that sweeteners give you camcer?

whats my name
piff richards

>>74296593
war soldier

>>74296671
no

spent almost two hours trying to restore my PC to an old backup before realising i could just revert the individual files for chrome to get my bookmarks back
feel like a spacker lads

*misspells sheed word*
*Sits back to admire my handiwork*

going to have a cheeky nap

>>74296671
everything outside of living in a bubble increases your risk of cancer

it's the amount that matters
sweeteners are not a concern

braap

Could turn any runt itt into a pouppo Dom if they said this shite to my face

>>74296686
what was so important about the bookmarks? you could've just added them again

calle chemin

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Ahh yess timeless

>tfw highly functioning austistic
>tfw havent eaten anything other than chocolate digestives and dry cereal for the last 3 and a half years

don't trust the Crowdpac site too much, seems like it's run by lefties shilling for Corbyn

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>why yes I enjoy being ignorant of foreign cultures food and products

>>74296731
literally hundreds in specially organised folders and sub-folders and sub-folders for the sub-folders
not a fucking chance im doing that again

>>74296671

If it does, I'm fucked. Used to live off Pepsi Max.

>>74296520
gay bastard, fucking nonce deserves a battering up his arse

>>74296638
>>74296786

why do violent sheeds hate Stephen Fry?

>>74296753

>corbyn literally 100% left with all the mad right wingers in the centre

I'm a literal Marxist and it put me to the right of him

I'm tired lads
work again tomorrow

>>74296776
why the fuck do you have so many sites bookmarked?

https://youtu.be/cSg3ucrwYvQ

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>still havent started my coursework
>due tomorrow

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Ah why yes, nice to meet you Father in law! That is most correct, I do most indeed fist your son's anus!

>>74296776
I reckon I have upwards of 4,000 bookmarks. I literally wouldn't even attempt to rebuild it

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>I'm a literal Marxist

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work tomorrow

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>I'm a literal Marxist

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>www.cringechannel.com

>>74296831
>you are a violent 'sheed for hating this man
>>74296819

... so be it.

>>74296827
a lot of it is porn tbf, also uni stuff and recreational things, games/hobbies etc
it adds up after a few years

>>74296912
>a lot of it is porn
yeh that's what I reckoned

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>I'm a literal Marxist

why

guarantee stephen fry is going the way of saville after he dies
disgusting little kiddie fiddler

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>why yes, i do watch the mighty boosh, le random things are pretty funny and epic

https://twitter.com/SlavojTweezek

Someone literally roleplays as an old man on twitter lmfao

>all these 'dora posts

Ahh yess very good

>files away in cabinet

>stephen fry is a nonce
what is this meme

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>>74296949

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>having a oneitis

>>74297009
most nonces are gay

>>74297042
Are you fucking 15 years old or something

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the gf

>>74297009
most gays are nonces

>>74297049
>>74297080
proofs?

question:
Are nonces who nonce on little boys gay?

>>74297042
stopped doing this and now I can't fall for anyone

Should I watch Mad Max or Fury Road?

>>74297102
well yes obviously
how could you dispute that

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Blairite election victories: 3
Old Labour election victories: 8

the problem with the current Labour party is that the bulk of it is made up of uncharismatic dull SocDems or Softy Socialists, basically loads of Brown, Watson and Ed Miliband tier politicians

and the only real "movement" in Labour is Corbyn's one, which is wholly unpopular with the greater electorate

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anyone know who this is

>>74297102
WELL DONE GENIUS, you're stupidity infuriates me

>>74297095
Literally any country's crime statistics. Like a third of all nonce victims are boys being nonced by men.

>>74295418
well did he come or not lad?

>>74297131
me on the left

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still not voting Labour

>>74297124
last labour general election victory by someone other than blair was 40 years ago

>>74297156
jesus christ walt theres just some things you dont talk about in public

>>74297156
yeah come'd in his ass

what shall i get from the chinese lads?

i dont like sweet and sour. i love rich sauces like black bean but have that often. looking to try something else thats new to me.

any suggestions?

>>74297131
It's a boy. His name starts with a K.

>>74297131
you do realise that's a boy?

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Literally on a plane lads

>>74297180
chicken curry with mushrooms la

>>74297158
>everyone gets John Mann
hmm...

>>74297180
You should get like, a kebab wrap or something from there

https://youtu.be/7sY2cIQYObM
Well, looks like a mail order bride isn't an option

>>74297191
that doesnt answer the question x

>>74297202
nonce

>>74297207
unironically love chinese curry. everyone i know thinks im a weirdo for liking it. but its got such a tasty unique flavour. love it.

>>74297220
>that welcome sign

>>74297207
where you off to la

drinking any kind of milk that isnt semi-skimmed = nonce

just found out yanks sleep fully clothed. wtf?

>>74297124
honestly can't see Labour ever winning another election

Tories will be in power for a generation and by the time they lose an election the new opposition party will be the LibDems

Birmingham is the truest bastion of lad culture

Did a half marathon this morning out of pure boredom

>>74297279
full fat milk makes me a fucking nonce? how? its the manliest one. got some nerve with that one

is it true that yanks hibernate?

spoke to someone at the call centre today who was 67 with a 49 year old wife from Vietnam and a 6 year old son
that lad's got no hope

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>>74297220
No shit

>>74297180
crispy shredded beef
kung po (beef, pork or rabbit)
salt and pepper beef
grilled king prawns
three roast duck

>>74297318
is your name jay?

>>74297095
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjPQ_jVlEnQ

>>74297220
>the previous wife with whom I had 4 children used me to get into the US
>surely this one young enough to be my grand danghter will stay with me forever

>>74297356
yeh ok mate i'll just order 5 mains shall i. great suggestion thanks.

>>74297397
Not me.
>>74297356
Thanks.

>>74297358
No

>>74297261
its like nip curry but sort of dirtier (in a good way)

>>74297356
>5 meat dishes and not one rice dish
are you for fucking real?

guys its 1am and i am hungry should i go to the servo and buy chips n chocolate?

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>>74297131
are kayla

Literally came on my computer to specifically make a post on /brit/ but completely forgot what I wanted to write

Feel sad

the reason why the thread is so shite today is the bank holiday, but is it the schoolchildren or the wagies

>>74297430
yeh its basically just curry powder mixed with chinese shit. works great.

First time I had sex, girl turns round to me and says "Do you have one night stands a lot?" and I replied "Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies". MIGHT just have been the most fedora thing I've ever done desu

>>74297480
madman

>>74297453
>this is your gimmick

away with you

>>74297220
watch louis theroux on thai brides

probably the best documentary of his from the 90s

cringeworthiest period of your life?

either when i was 11-12 (rabid attention seeker at school, used to do lots of ridiculous and embarassing stunts for attention)

or when i was 16-18 (friendless loser who tried to latch onto a group of friends and got rejected by them)

im fairly normal now, except not going out so much.

>>74297480
this is funny and if she didn't find it funny she's fucked in the head
love a good bit of banter during willy in fanny

>>74297565
>im normal now except im not
k

>>74297565
0-22

>>74297565
39-41 for me.

pullover

pronounced with emphasis on the second syllable; pull-O-ver

>>74297569
I was only half-joking really, I was finding the whole experience of sharing a bed with someone I literally didn't care about at all very uncomfortable. Couldn't wait until the morning so that I could be alone again

>>74297565
I sung vato by snoop dogg to my friends word for word and told them i made it up, thats rather cringy to be honest

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>>74297450
cheers hun x

>>74297616
meh i seem normal enough to people but don't lead much of a social life of my own accord.

>>74297658
dont care faggot. get back into your containment zone.

>>74297678
>faggot
FOY

Fuck off Devon you autist

>>74297565
Just about everything before I left secondary school
Was a proper twat, absolutely zero self awareness

ass/thighs > tits

girls with nice thighs/rump and small boobs >>>>>> girls with big boobs and no ass

>>74297696
how dare you use my own gimmick against me

have nae a clue why the 'llocks smell like garlic

>>74297742
>ass
FOY
>>74297757
FOY

*starts vigorously playing the saxophone right next to your head*

>>74297787
dont care

>>74297565
20. My first time flirting with a girl. Looking back on it makes me hate myself quite unlike anything else.

>>74297742
agreed desu

my current gf has an A cup but the nicest ass ive ever seen. beats my last GFs E cups and shapely bum x

> stoned as fuck
> drinking free rose

pretty good wagecuck holiday today

>>74297565
possibly 11-13: skater/semi-emo/anime phase (so glad I binned that off)

>>74297787
buzz off

>>74297787
"oiiiii... mate... do you want to fuck off before i shove that thing up your arse and then play it"

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life in infinity hours

>>74297811
similar my gf has no tits whatsoever, it looks like a boy chest

but i find that cute

and her arse game ridiculous

Tyson Fury is literally the best heavyweight we've ever had and people don't give a shit because the media have fucked him over.

fuck this country.

>>74297831
>>74297828
>>74297797
*plays it even harder in an attempt to permanently damage your hearing*

>>74297811
>gf
FOADN

*gives the runt hunt conch a little toot*

>>74297848
fuck off

>>74297565
most of it between 12 and 16
by 17 i understood my place

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3KHQfLBK_w

chooooon

>watford v liverpool

Worth a watch? Top 4 race is silly considering no one seems to want it

fuckin hate hospitals lads
wish i was at home shitposting instead of here, would be nice

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the """independent"""

find the concept of girls choosing to go out with me over anyone else unfathomable

>>74297876
*ignores you* ;3 rawr

>there are people posting in /brit/ right now who have girlfriends
why

>>74297969
'pool will throw it away again. top 6 bar spurs and chelsea have been AWFUL this year.

>>74297983
had a girl who said she'd never ever date me, receiving a pounded pussy courtesy of moi.

girls are incredibly fickle, if you catch the right end of their menstrual cycle you too can fuck them.

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ahhh yes the eternal anglo

>>74297981
What is your problem here?

>>74297969
watford are on holida/another generic london club liverpool is a plastic club, don't bother la'

>>74297983
literally this. I guess some girls have found me attractive but any time I see a cute girl I think

"why the fuck would she pick me over that guy over there. My hands are tiny and his are big"

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>>74298042
>you too can fuck them

>>74297993
*kicks you in your bollocks*

>>74297983
always assume girls showing interest in me are setting me up

>>74298057
Racism is freedom innit

>>74298057
we're not really one to talk on /int/ ...

>there are people posting in /brit/ right now who have boyfriends
how?

>>74297939
free my nigga snuffles

>>74298078

>>74298078

the goose is loose
i repeat, the goose is loose

>>74298059
they're clearly partisan

>>74298118
Up your meds

>>74298042
>receiving a pounded pussy courtesy of moi
hate the word choice and general style of speech used in this sentence

dont type like that again

>>74298091
dunno lad. i wouldnt read too much into women's decision making.

you can take an active approach by just approaching random girls and asking them for their numbers or to go out with you until ONE says yes.

or you can take a passive approach of befriending some women and hoping something comes of it (which you'll be surprised to know, does actually happen).

there is 3bn women on earth, statistically one will at least tolerate oyu.

>>74298136
is only at 308 you dumb fag

>>74298165
was going for the ol' 'rican chad way of speaking as per films such as american pie

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Top level runt here.
And proud.

>>74298179
312 actually you somalian spastic

>>74298136
janny shan't be happy when he sees this

>>74298164
not taking any

>>74298326
well theres your problem goy

>>74297848
elite taste, friend