/brit/

approved

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>my best friend is unironically an attractive female
>and i have no interest in having sex with her
>and i'm straight

>>74278447
Not a fan of Arabs. [*!BUZZPHRASE ALERT: LOVE pints :BUZZPHRASE ALERT!*].

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>>74278447
Wow Kent looks nice, it was a shithole when I was last there

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it's time

>>74281970
nah that bloke is from notts
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxrFEZLugjU

Frankly couldn't give a shit [*!BUZZWORD ALERT: la :BUZZWORD ALERT!*].

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>migrants overwhelm Europe
>whites get genocided
>global industrial capitalism collapses due to limited nuclear exchange and antiobiotic resistant plague
>humans return to Hunter-gatherer and agrarian lifestyles
>eventually, whites appear again at high latitudes due to similar selective pressures and convergent evolution

Woah... So this was Varg's plan all along

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Zara

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Have to catch the train at 7 to start Army training

think i'll probably quit by week 3

>>74282023
that patois sounds so fake for some reason

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I'm voting for the Tories on June 8th to keep Britain white

We can't risk Labour getting in power and opening the floodgates to immigrants

>>74282052
> Army training
The number one thing with the Army (any western army) is learning how to run fast. When I was in the Army, I ran at least 2 miles everyday. Everything needs running in the Army. Don't be surprised if the Sergeant busts into your sleeping chamber at 3am to have you run a few miles.

*completes the traumatic journey from thread to thread*

>>74282052
> Army training
The number one thing with the Army (any western army) is learning how to run fast. When I was in the Army, I ran at least 2 miles everyday. Everything needs running in the Army. Don't be surprised if the Sergeant busts into you sleeping chamber at 3am to have you run a few miles.

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>>74282120
Wait should I follow this advice

or this
>>74282144

it's N.O.V with the bigger man sound

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>>74282141
good led

night /brit/

/brit/ is really slow today

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>>74282191
It's 5 in the morning you paki

>>74282191
at 5am?

>>74282207
all of sunday i mean (it's 1 am here but i call it sunday night)

>>74282209
yeah it was at 5 am

>>74282120
>The number one thing with the Army (any western army) is learning how to run fast

Eh no it's not really

It's about running long distances with heavy bags (a march)

30km marches wearing 50kg bergens are commonplace

t. brother is a Marine and a member of the SBS and that's literally our only common interest

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>t. brother is a Marine and a member of the SBS and that's literally our only common interest

I sign the front of the checks. Icelad signs the back. That's the difference.

>>74282052
> Army training
The number one thing with the Army (any western army) is learning how to run fast. When I was in the Army, I ran at least 2 miles everyday. Everything needs running in the Army. Don't be surprised if the Sergeant busts into your sleeping chamber at 3am to have you run a few miles.

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>Australians

>>74282237
Tbf I don't if running is what you do most of the day but it's definitely one of/the hardest part of training, knew a lad who dropped out of SEAL training (high level athlete) and he said it was the running that got him

can run a mile in 13 minutes

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What do brits think of Newcastle ale?

>>74282389
>mile
In English please?

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>>74282389
I had to run 1.5 miles in 10 minutes to pass selection for the army

FUCK me tor is slow atm

>>74282468
>tor

Hello nonce

>>74282368
Your friend sounds like a little bitch who was never going to make it then

Conditioning is by far the least worst thing about selection, you're mentally terrorised for 6-8 months straight

Even in the SBS, you're classified as a "swimmer canoeist" and need to be a good swimmer, but it's one of the easier parts of selection

>>74282402
Never heard of it

This is the latest I've stayed up all year lads

ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT NOW LADIES

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>>74282569
Newcastle United used to be sponsored by them

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GaN7NSUHvY

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>maxresdefault

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>>74282606
holy shit look at his channel

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I want to be a cute maid in a nice little uniform

>>74282698
Seems pretty normal, he's talking about an eclectic range of topics. Tim just repeats the same things over and over again multiple times in each video

>>74282702
you made this on r9k you nonce

watching u

>>74282728
>made this
?

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>>74282728
Nice to know I have made (or rather maid :)) an impression

>>74282746
>>74282702
'ddit

screeching
http://i.4cdn.org/tv/1493599378046.webm

>>74282899
kek

I've failed in every female relationship I've ever had. That's gotta be worse than having never dated in the first place.

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>tfw no gf (ever)

>50R in 3 hours
Haha great thread you got here

>>74282917
disagree, girls at least like your face enough

The ol' collapsed lung is acting up lads

What's an appropriate dosage of LSD for a newbie?

is 200ug too strong?

You guys ever think about how a general built entirely around gimmicks is just a gimmick in of itself?

>>74282356
no one even remember tasmania is part of australia

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>hot as balls out
>go to mow my dad's lawn
>having trouble starting the mower
>yank the cord 5 times
>doesn't start
>go to ask him if there's an on switch somewhere that i'm missing
>notice him laughing his ass off at me
>mfw

>>74283043
What the cord?

>>74283071
it's a shitty pull-start push mower from walmart

i've literally never operated one in my life but my dad can't pass up an opportunity to be an asshole

>>74283043
you're meant to plug the cord in dumbo

>>74283088
No but what did you do to the cord?

>>74283111
Wrapped it around my dick

https://www.google.com/patents/US6506148

neurons pulsating

>>74283111
i yanked it harder

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>>74283042
>New South Wales

Hmmmmmm

>>74283200
amusingly similar

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Stop consuming illicit substances

iceland is proper fucking bleak desu

wanna go home

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>Doctor Pavel, I be Captain Bill.
>He wasn't alone.
>Arrr, ye don't get to bring yer mateys.
>They not be me mateys.
>No need to worry, no doubloons for them.
>Why I be wantin' them?
>They be tryin' to grab yer treasure. They work for the privateer, the masked pirate.
>Banebeard?
>Aye.
>Get them on the ship, I'll send a message.
>[water sounds]
>Arrr, the shipping plan I just filed with Pirate Cove lists me, me crew, and doctor Pavel here, but only one o' ye!
>[First Mate Smee lowers the plank]
>First one o' ye to talk gets to stay on me ship!
>Who paid ye to shanghai Doctor Pavel?
>[shoots a musket into the air]
>He didn't swim so good! Who be wantin' to try next?
>Tell me about Banebeard! Why he be wearin' the mask?
>[loads musket]
>A lot o' loyalty for a hired pirate!
>Or perhaps he be wonderin' why someone would shoot a man, before making him walk the plank.
>[Smee lifts the plank]
>At least ye can talk. Who are ye?
>Arrr, it don't matter who we be, what be matterin' be our plan.
>No one be carin' who I was 'til I put on this mask.
>If I pulled that off, would ye go to Davy Jones' Locker?
>It would be extremely painful.
>Ye be a big pirate.
>For ye.
>Was stowin' away part o' your plan?
>Of course!
>[A larger ship rapidly approaches]
>Doctor Pavel be refusin' our offer in favour of ye, and we had to find out if he told ye where the treasure is buried.
>Nothin'! I be sayin' nothin'!
>Well good on ye! Ye stowed away!
>CAP'N?
>Now what's the next step o' yer master plan?
>Sinking this ship.
>[pirates on the other ship prepare to board]
>Draggin' ye all to the bottom!
>[Banebeard punches the captain]
>Shiver me timbers!
>[swordfight breaks out, with Banebeard's crew victorious]
>[Bane's First Mate prepares to leave after blowing a hole in the side of the ship]
>Yarrr, they be expectin' one of us in the shipwreck me boy!
>Have we released the Kraken?
>Aye
>[autistic screeching from Pavel]
>Arrr, calm down doctor, now not be the time for fear. That comes later.

shan't

Had 4 large takeaway coffees yesterday and am still awake and absolutely wired

>>74283200
Isn't this what ALL of Tasmania is like?

>>74283253
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5q77MQzU2Q

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stop checking numbers

>>74282052
>think i'll probably quit by week 3

Doesn't mean they'l let you leave.

Are you lot still awake or just got up?

>>74283304
quads and climate change doesn't real

Some girls like my face enough to reply when I talk to them

>>74283329
been to bed, woke up, had a wank, returned to shitposting

>>74283309
In the British Army there is DAOR (discharge as of right) You can choose to leave after 28 days of training and that window closes after 3 months

>>74283278
nah Tas is ok, some of the nicest people in australia. very down to earth people.

>>74283329
nigga I've been woke my whole life

>>74283337
well la di da

haven't had a wank in abbout 4 days lads

>>74283330
that's science

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>>74283329
still awake la'

>>74283367
you'll break soon

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>>74283329
Both

>>74283329
We In The R.N.H

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>>74283351
REALLY wish they hadn't killed all the Thylacines, however

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gfycat com/GloomyEmbellishedGreyhounddog

>>74283421
i love sitting/sleeping like that

>>74283037
>>>/pol/123582710

>>74283438
let me help you with that noose

>>74283453
Proofs

american posting in /brit/ = top runt

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>sun is rising
>stil haven't slept

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>>74283429
cant turn back time lad, its a very nice place and the best fish n chips down under can be had there at the harbour. plus they have pademelons.

>>74283490
Prime willy posting hours

>>74283458
degenerate is the most cringeworthy word when used unironically

>>74283508
t. degenerate

thanks for the (You)'s faggots

>>74283534
Way to kill the thread faggot

imagine having fucked up your life so bad that you join the army

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who here's been through the most divorces? 7 for me

imagine having fucked up your life so bad

>>74283641
there was a guy in my year who was really great at maths and physics etc. but he was obsessed with joining the army for some reason

>>74283641
>>74283668
>>74283660
samefag

>>74283650
never kissed a female

>>74283668
usually mathy types go for the airforce

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the gf

i considered joining the army but i'm mentally ill and on 4 different medications so they wouldn't let me in haha

>>74283712
haunting

>>74283712
Join immigration instead, they still give you a gun in Aus right?

>>74283696
he definitely joined the army but

>>74283727
you mean coast guard?

that actually might be cool, sinking leaky boats full of brown people

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>>74283747
>imagining a mentally ill bogan sinking boat people and poppping pills to the home and away theme

experiencing tooth pain

>there's a fish called a Sarcastic Fringehead

Learn something cool every time I watch David Attenborough

>>74283765
didn't bogans die out in the 90s?

REEEEEEEEAL

BRUCIE

HOURS

>>74283712
I joined the army while I was doing copious amounts of illegal drugs

they never find out shit

However I had a minor surgery on my ears without telling them and they booted me for that

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>>74283829
Yeah tehy're upper middle class now

>>74283832
what was wrong with your ears?

>>74283884
stuck out too much

>>74283884
its a popular cumming site for gays

joining the military is a proper career option these days. they don't take in retards and miscreants. you have to be smart and motivated

>>74283896
so it was cosmetic surgery then?

my ears are asymmetrical, one sticks out while the other doesn't, might look into getting that fixed

what happened to that doxxed lad?

>>74283896
lol dumbo

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Getting close to my wedding day. Marrying a lovely British gal and we are having the wedding in the UK. Most of her family will be there so I am nervous about missing some unspoken gesture to greeting or other formality we don't do in the US and my first impression on her family not being a good one. Anything I should know. If it helps I am from the south, not a Texan or a redneck. Thanks friends.

>>74283904
doesn't america have prison conscripts?

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>>74283918
im here

what the utter shit is a "centimeter"

>>74283942
100 meters

>>74283942
It's a misspelling of 'centimetre'

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>>74283961
what kin of catipillar is that?

>>74283904
they just take lucky people here desu. they put all of these ads out about how sport loving guys would love the military but most sport loving guys have injuries that theyd get knocked back for.

i know more sedentary guys who've successfully gotten in than athletic guys who've applied because of some meme injury from almost a decade ago.

>>74283929
We Brits tend to kiss other men in the mouth upon our first meeting

>>74283942
one one-hundredth of a metre, or "meter" to use the simplified dialect you're accustomed to

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/magazine-39734837/the-12-year-old-trainee-funeral-director

kawaii

do not understand the outrage with bullfighting at all

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Wish I had bank holidays off, debating the 'cide instead of going

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WAKEY WAKEY WAGIES

WAKEY WAKEEEEEEEEEY TIME FOR WOOORKIEEESSS

wish i had banks

>>74283993
>We Brits
>that flag
Go back to Cali desu

>>74284016
i get it but there's so many mean traditions with animals that it seems unfair to single it out. the bulls are basically worshipped prior to them fighting, and every part of the animal is used. i saw them in pamplona and it's pretty exciting to watch

i got gored by a bull when i was 8 and almost died

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>>74284025
>Bank holiday Monday

https://youtu.be/87SDqXrt8gQ

>>74284025
it's labour day you pea brained mollusc

The fuck? Is English currency still this complicated?
https://youtu.be/j0Qv9uSNWCk

>>74284025
holiday today

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alri thailad

>>74284049
probably didn't prep him correctly

Started a new show on the 'flix and am enjoying it tbqh

my wifes son got gored by our bull when he was 8 and almost died

>>74284049
shame he didn't finish the job

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Browsing the old Youtube and came across a comment saying "Can't believe it's been 8 years since this happened"
The date of the comment was 4 years ago.

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>>74284065
alri

>>74283930
i think so but the military won't let you get far with a criminal record
>>74283992
i've thought about it but i'm too much a depressed retarded loser to bother

opened a new thread on the 'ddit and am enjoying it tbqh

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>>thenonce
>>74284056
>>74284064
for you

>>74284074
Dear white people?

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>>74284094
ill say a prayer for you lad

>>74284095
nah it's called americans are fat fucking freaks and should fuck off

>>74284110
Will look it up if I remember

reading my diary from when i was a teenager

man i was an edgy little wankstain

thailad thoughts on the situation in south korea? (their president being a cult worshipper)

>>74284133
could have told you that just from having kept a diary

|\|3\/\/ 6!|\/||\/|!(|<: |?057 !|\| 13375p34k

>>74284138
thoughts on your chin becoming dust as a result of my fist?

rate my comment
https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/68j06h/canadians_sing_the_national_anthem_at_oilers/dgyvwu4/

>>74284142
Abysmal gimmick

*gets schwifty*

Is /brit/ technically a secret society?

I'm going on a date with a chick who's somewhat attractive but my mates are going to think she looks weird

>>74284159
Downvoted

>>74284163
dont care

>>74284160
|=(_)(|< 0|=|= `/4|\||<

*burps on birdperson*

>>74284159
upboated

>>74284141
i was an aspiring author and thought keeping a diary would improve my writing skill desu

still am but am lazy as fuck so will probably never write a book

>>74284138
Bizarre but not an event without precedent. Think Skull and Bones, Masons etc. These things aren't entirely dissimilar.

*slips on banana peel and fly's into thread*

just published my book lads

>>74284184
do you think the thai gov't could be surreptitiously under the control of a spooky shadow cult

MMMM YEAH I'M LIKE, THE INTELLIGENT BUT LAZY TYPE YOU KNOW?

TOTALLY DEPRESSED TOO

>>74284198
not intelligent about writing books

*finishes eating my banana*
ohh my lordy lordy! what a scrumptious treat, and healthy too! *discards it on the floor while looking at the camera*

>>74284196
I get the impression they're more simplistic and transparent than that. Just corruption for the sake of corruption (greed)

>>74284198
Same. Can't recommend this lifestyle

>>74284211
that's kinda how i feel about my gubbamint

>>74284205
I have some frozen chocolate covered banana slices, also strawberries :3

>>74284222
The US deep state is a tangled web, I'm sure there's room for all kinds of agendas

DICK AND SHORTY PART 1: BECOMING SCHWIFTY

SHORTY: LET US GET SCHWIFTY, DICK.
DICK: *BECOMES ERECT* AH YES, HM, QUAINT.

(THE STYLING OF DICK AND SHORTY AS TWO DISTINCT INDIVIDUALS BECOMES A SOURCE OF AMUSEMENT FOR THE AUDIENCE ONCE DICK IS REVEALED TO BE MERELY THE PHALLUS OF SHORTY)

>>74284224
now that sounds about as healthy as a hot dog in a storm drain! *wildly swings my arms around*

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I unironically collect book royalties each month, even if it's only a tiny amount.

Just sold (print) book #300

Going to dubai lads

>>74284244
What is your book?

hello

>>74284190
whats it about

>>74284250
bullocks: how i survived a goring by an unprepped bull

>>74284241
*walks off and talks to someone else*

>>74284250
I'm afraid that I can never ever tell anyone, but I will anonymously brag about it

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>hello

>>74284267
whats it about then?

found a channel with gimmick potential

https://www.reddit.com/r/news/comments/68jokw/leaked_document_reveals_facebook_conducted/

hmm, i swear this was one of my /brit/ Business ideas... should've patented it.

very sick of seeing redditors shill for spotify premium

>>74284267
did you publish it under your real name?

*keeps waving my arms around by myself*
jesse we have to cook
*pulls another banana out of my bumbag*
*starts fretfully wringing it*
*in thought bubble* /i hope i am seen by many.../

>>74284282
It's a niche comedy

>>74284293
Yes

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>>74284235
i think most politicians start out with good intentions but at some point in their career they get a bit too greedy and begin working towards the betterment of themselves rather than the people who elected them, but then they lose the next election. it's when these disgraced politicians get jobs within our government while out of office when things get carried away

of course trump promised to put an end to career politicians and corruption but that doesn't seem to be happening

>>74284302
>>74284302
ah yes wicked sense of humoUr, nihilistic, rick and morty etc... type book got it

got it

dont worry man

>>74284291

> implying spotify doesn't buy aged reddit accounts and use bots to shill for them

>>74284302
*burp*

>>74284312
*does a literary BRAAAAP*

>>74284291
yeah, there's spotify++ for that
also reminder that reddit shilling is 100% a thing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjLsFnQejP8

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Backstage, couple drinks, I'm loose
All I see is bums and boobs
I'm turnt, step on the stage
Buster cannon, man gon' blow up the room
Buster cannon, blow up the room
Buster cannon, blow up the room
Lickin' down shows and I'm bringing in racks
Buster cannon, blow up the room
Backstage, couple drinks, I'm loose
All I see is bums and boobs
I'm turnt, step on the stage
Buster cannon, man gon' blow up the room
Buster cannon, blow up the room
Buster cannon, blow up the room
Lickin' down shows and I'm bringing in racks
Buster cannon, blow up the room

anyone else watching this season of silicon valley or attack on titan?

wanted to post a pic of my new phone(it's a shitty thing from ~2009) as a gimmick but realized it can't take pictures of itself haha

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>why yes I do believe that Reddit and Morty is 'niche'

>>74284302
post something funny
how about an excerpt

>>74284308
I don't think the president has the power they once did.

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Ireland is white

Is Archer reddit

>>74284327

4chan shilling is probably 100% a thing as well... maybe even more on certain boards because you don't need aged accounts as everyone is "anonymous".

>>74284342
no frank im reading about peonies
http://peonysenvy.com/peonycare.html

>put xfm on to go to sleep to last night
>karl talking about his dads theory that princess diana was assassinated by florists so they could sell a lot of flowers
>keeps me awake because i am howling at it

reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

>>74284342
i forgot silicon valley started
and i found out yesterday there's already been 3 episodes of better call saul's 3rd season

>>74284354
everything's reddit

>>74284354
everything past season 2

>>74284367

> and i found out yesterday there's already been 3 episodes of better call saul's 3rd season

i forgot i'd been watching that, it's so hard to keep track of which shows you're watching in between seasons.

>>74284352
'commander in chief of the armed forces' is a lot of power

reckon the MOAB we dropped on afghanistan the other week was 90% trump's doing

i also reckon the impending war in north korea will also be mostly trump's doing

Was Game of Thrones ever not Reddit?

>>74284355
I think the reason it's not as prevalent here is people will call you out and you can't manipulate with upvotes, plus companies wouldn't want to be associated with a (mostly) disgusting community
I'm sure it still happens though

You're so vain
You probably think this post is about (You)

a kiwi just made a post about me
the nerve

Everything bad that happens is Trump's fault
Everything good that happens is either irrelevant or in spite of Trump

>>74284397
No

>>74284401
fuck off

>>74284411
yank

>>74284409
ah yes Mr. Breaking Bad/The Wire/Better Call Saul/Walking Dead/Reddit Defense Force

>>74284400

> companies wouldn't want to be associated with a (mostly) disgusting community

that's not a risk with shilling assuming they do it correctly

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having a look

>>74284393
Yeah, maybe. idk anymore.. just seems contrary to what he ran on.

>>74284418
are you implying the best show of all time is reddit?

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Hell-raising, wheel-chasing, new worldy possessions
Flesh-making, spirit-breaking, which one would you lessen?
The better part, the human heart
You love ’em or dissect 'em
Happiness or flashiness? How do you serve the question?
See, in the perfect world, I would be perfect, world
I don't trust people enough beyond they surface, world
I don't love people enough to put my faith in men
I put my faith in these lyrics, hoping I make amend

>>74284430
makes sense, reddit is the best website of all time

the uncle just told me i should "get moving already" because i'm a 20 year old neet who's never had a job

real helpful of him lol

>>74284429
it's depressing but playing at war is common practice for republicans

Told my nephew he should do something productive and all he said was "WAIT TIL I TIL BRIT ABOUT THIS ONE"

Bit of a lostie that one

>>74284423

ahh yes, "memes"

>>74284458
why don't you just head down to the job store and pick up a gf on the way there

pattering

>>74284423
>that call of duty one
so bad it physically hurts

Think im the only one on /brit/ who doesnt own a reddit account

>>74284458
Why are Australians on /brit/ who are NEETs? How come most NEETs online seem to be from places where jump starting your life is easiest like Australia and Sweden? Excellent social welfare.

>>74284458
feels good being a neet with a hippie mum who enables my lifestyle

i know she and i are both going to regret it someday though

>>74284484

because it's hard to get a job

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>>74284481
why is it so hard to believe you?

>>74284484
i have no desire to stop being NEET

>>74284460
Didn't come across as your typical republican in many respects either. I just wonder if he's being pressured from forces within or he's just done a U turn on his stance since taking office. At least it's not Hillary in any case.

>>74284488
And what's stopping a NEET from attending higher education if not cost? How did you two or three become a NEET?

>>74284488

actually never mind, i don't actually know if it's difficult to get a job because i've only applied for like 10 jobs in the past 2 and a half years.

>>74284488
Unless you're a kiwi wahey

>>74284481
i have like 6 reddit accounts but they're all for trolling and have no more than 10 posts apiece

>>74284493
I use reddit for sports streams, don't understand people who go there to post like they do here.

>>74284512
Literal child

>le ebin troll

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>>74284499
yeah at this point it's safe to say he's your standard politician and i say this as someone who supported him(and still does to a lesser extent). he's just waiting for an excuse to start a war, i just hope another 9/11 doesn't happen

>At least it's not Hillary in any case.
this is his only redeeming quality honestly

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>tfw go for a piss and it's clear

remember to stay hydrated lads

>>74284500
higher education is stressful and boring

>>74284500
I know nothing about Australia so I'm just guessing, but it may have to do with the fact that in a cunt like that you can live comfortably enough (assuming you don't have any ambitions) without doing anything, while in my cunt if you don't do anything your life is shit
>>74284516
I just lurk and save cute/silly pictures for the gf

>>74284532
trolling reddit is like picking on the fat kid with anger issues who breathes so hard through his nose that he snots all over his shirt, it's too funny to resist

>>74284541
This is the way it'll always go I suppose, a true populist is a spook.

>>74284555
>trolling reddit is like trolling the average /brit/poster

>>74284544
It's not meant to be clear you silly cunt

>>74284544
>that white supremacist hand signal
oy vey

off to watch the SoprANOs

Why is every other Askreddit thread "how do you like/dislike current social norm?"

>social norms EEEE!
>we're so different we go to restaurants alone!!!!11

Add me on reddit u/exoskeletaljunction

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>tfw go for a piss and it's black

woops haha too much pepsi max

>>74284583
that entire sub is data harvesting

>>74284584
*visits account and downvotes everything*
most of it was already in -5s anyway

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>Investigate to possibility of safely turning my piss blue.. f-for science.

>tfw go for a piss and it's brown

thats the kidney cancer at work
wouldnt mind half as much if i didnt get liver cancer at the same time

>>74284584
add me /u/redditguykai

>>74284603
Daniel btfo

>>74284615
i dyed my hair with food colouring once

real brucie hours 2bh

Woke up feeling like feeling like I'm not myself

>>74284624
thats gay

>>74284624
mental

you can dye your hair with beetroot if you'd like

>>74284632
not really, it was all the rage back in the early 00s

>aussies dont know what an everything bagel or a double double is

howling at the mongs

Enjoying work? How's life treating you, /brit/?

the mum's running out of money and won't be able to afford to pay for my food anymore, might die if this ol' business idea doesn't work out haha

>>74284683
Why doesn't she just run into money

i just slip on my self

>>74284668
it's gay

Life Pro-Tip: You can get away with literally anything as long as you learn to lie and keep a straight face. All people care about is surface level bullshit. They don't care what's going on beneath the surface.

I could steal money from a vault, and as long as I pretend I'm there on official business just checking the carborator in the vault's safety mechanism I'll get away with it. We're a species of fucking sheep, we are. I'm sick and tired of honesty. All it's ever got me is disapproval and a hit on the wrist.

The key to all my life's success is: Lie, Lie, Lie. Conversely, the key to all my life's failure has been telling the truth. Gotta play the game. Gotta fool the fools and flatter the narcissists.

>>74284683
kill yourself

>>74284683
poor mommo :(

Get a job you lazy cunt

>>74284711
>living a life where you have to lie to stay afloat
first step into being an untermensch

>>74284711
>>74284735
almost every lie i've ever told has come back to bite me in the arse

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what do I build on Yasuo lads

>>74284742
It works man. I could be an angle, but if I'm honest with people they'll smack you down for the most minor and humane indiscretion. You can be the devil, but as long as you keep people thinking the right thing, they'll stay out of your hair.

We live in a world of fools. You've gotta play the game.

>>74284367
oh wtf fargo's started as well
why doesn't anyone tell me these things

>>74284367
stopped watching better call saul after season 1

absolute shite

>>74284750
Must've been painful

sharting at this canadian

>>74284786
for you

What's the most you guys usually do a fap? I find 3 is my limit but sometimes I'll do 5-6 in a row.

>>74284783
mm don't care

>>74284804
Dont care

Accidentally let slip go some friends that my friends gf cheated on him and I'm paranoid that I've started gossip he would rather not have

Not used to having friends lads

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Wahey, guys! I'm just here to check the carborator on that vaults safety mechanism. Don't mind me. Just here on official business. *load up all the cash in my pockets*.

Whoa fellas, good thing I showed up when I did. A lot of pressure in those carborators. Fixed it. *walk really fast out the door*

The vault thing is clearly illustrative by the way. I just mean people buy anything if it looks and sounds official. Of course most shit in your life you can't lie about, but tossing a bit of liberality with the truth through out does wonders. People want to come down on you like a brick if you tell them you piss and shit. Everyone pisses and shits, but if people know that, they'll use it to fuck you. You've gotta be one step ahead. Fuck them before the fuck you. Fucking cunts.

>>74284908
>>74284908
>>74284908
the migration season is upon us my friends

wish we had an alternate channel to communicate through so we could form our own new thread without the leafs knowing

shut the fuck up

Family especially are prone to trying to fuck you for being a human being. Most judgemental cunts on the planet. I have a whole big list of people I want to heem. Seriously.

I've had too much sand kicked in my face for having nothing to hide. They didn't deserve the fucking truth, and I shouldn't have given it to them.