Mentally-ill artificially-intelligent robowhore edition
got lots of /brit/ lifehacks
in several different categories:
being a cheapskate
being woke
academic success
how to make people like you
organising your shit together
monetary success
making gains in the gym
ask me and ill share what i've learnt
>>74066851
think you're telling porkies mate
Why do I always feel more miserable when I'm well-rested?
pick one of the following:
eating oven food dinner watching ITV or football
eating fancy food your mum made with artisanal italian and locally grown ingredients made with a gimmick appliance, listening to your sister tell you about how there are 15 genders or so she was taught at university.
>>74066829
Being woke
>>74066956
not sure
you take SSRIs?
>>74066829
how to make people like you
>>74066851
>leltic
reminder that scientifically, morally and ethically there is nothing wrong with abortion
>>74066966
>15
what do you think this is, the 50s?
an individual can personify any existing or "non-existing" gender they wish to, grandad
business idea: heem without mercy
>>74066851
>lolita
>MUH NHS
>>74066829
making gains in the gymnasium
>>74067132
t. can't argue
wanking to the mental image of that thick blonde milf from work releasing putrid gaseous farts in my face
Quite looking forward to Wikitribune
>>74067289
Wots that then boyo
>>74067267
all farts are gaseous you numpty
>>74067335
not quite all!
>>74066851
do I spy the an-com flag behind her?
thought she was a tankie
i feel bad for wagecucks
oh wait
no i dont
>>74067320
Google it you runtlet
>>74066995
>brush your teeth with non-fluoride non-sls toothpaste and scrape your tongue
>use non sls/parabens/fragrans/parfum etc soap, detergent, shampoo and so on, don't use petroleum based skin products
>use cronometer to monitor your intake of vegetables and minerals
>take hallucinogenic drugs (dmt and mescaline preferably, you can grow these)
>meditate twice a day
>try to constantly focus on breathing
>subscribe to a solid metaphysical framework (esoteric ones are better (start reading))
>recognise the machinations behind things like media and politics, and try to be see past surface levels things
>don't dismiss the unbelievable and don't deny connections
>don't dismiss the possibility of use of magick or esotericism gnosis, especially for benign purposes
>collect resources on conspiracies which are known to have happened and study them profusely
>NEVER, EVER, GET NEAR TO ANYONE WITH POWER
>keep as much information from the government or major corporations or banks as possible
>use a vpn
>browse the internet via i2p (or at least use ixquick, anti-tracking/other stuff plugins)
>major transactions bitcoin darkwallet or cash
>use the terminal and only use 'free' non-proprietary software.
>>74067069
>ask them questions about what they're talking about and let them do most of the talking
>listen to them and bring up stuff they said another time
>always call them by their name
>go out of your way to help them
>tell personalised jokes to them (preferably based on past interractions or recurring themes)
*marches on your bollocks*
need something to wank to. not sure what.
>>74066829
all of them
>>74067530
*strings you up by your bollocks*
prefer a good lasagna over a good pizza tbqh
>>74067527
Sounds like a lot of hassle, can't I just take drugs?
>>74067609
runtoidlet
>>74067609
>good lasagne
No such thing
>>74067624
>>74067652
kys manchildren
>>74067527
>second list
quite wise, not what i had expected from /brit/
>>74067179
>follow starting strength and try first and foremost to attain good form
yes its a meme but do it, until you can no longer add on 2.5kg each time
>eat about a gram of protein per lb of bodyweight over several meals
this isn't actually scientifically optimal but if you aim for around it, you'll be good
>only aim for 400kcal surplus and try to restrict your diet to vegetables, fruits, meat, fish, dairy, eggs and rice/oats.
>drink water only (milk as well)
>don't skip gym
>use an excel sheet to monitor progress in the gym
for me i find filling in a little box on a complex looking sheet satisfiyng
>use cronometer for accurate nutrition monitoring
>stretches and stuff are really good, cardio is healthy but you must eat more if you want to engage in it
>don't really need supplements if you eat well enough imo (though a cheeky caffeine pill before gym can help)
>have realistic expectations
>cut carefully (small and controlled calorie deficits with consistency)
some people have touted the benefit of eating at maintenance but the jury is still out on that.
after starting strength it depends on your aims
>sheiko if you're serious about powerlfting
>1/2/3/4 if you want to do sort of powerlifting but also add in some accessories
>PPL ^ similar as above but with more accessories
>bro-lifting routines - don't know much about these but good for the ol' physique
>>74067559
this
what are some lewd things you've done to wank lads?
>>74067559
feel like the 'pression is setting in again
really not keen on that haha
>>74067372
I have it on good authority that sharts are not farts.
just went on the national lottery website and immediately felt like a runt so I closed it
>>74066711
>>74066711
>>74066711
Other thread has more posts,come back to this one afterwards
first post in 20 minutes for plymouth
>>74066851
He nipples look too far down on her chest. Bit concerned
fuckin love the janny desu
how to get gf pls respond
>>74069254
Why don't you marry him then?
In 'ere lads
>>74066711
watching some JAV
did a cum
>>74069295
theyre gonna need more than chopsticks for them
>>74069253
bet you'd prefer a cock there instead, bender
awooga
would anyone else like to mention how they don't like rick and morty?
>>74069274
1 be alright looking
2 install tinder
3 ???
4 shag gf
tried and tested and verified working (by myself)
>>74069281
>announcing a 'port
'ported
LYNN
>>74069349
who are they?
>>74066611
t b h the only reason I watch that show is for pic related
People think that I am some what mental...
They don't know I am very sentimental..
A friend of mine said I am a Waste Fellow..
He don't know the taste of this fellow...
Ooooooo..ooo..oo..oo..
My teacher scolds me that I neglect Education...
She don't know I collect Real education....
My neighbour thinks that I am wasting my time...
He don't know that he is wasting his time...
My mother sees me and she always bother...
My father trusts me and treats like his father.....
>>74069349
You're a fucking retard redditor if you like that shit
>GET SCHWIFTY
>BUUUUUUURP
>Hey Morty god is not real!!
HAHAHHAHAHGHHAGA LMAO
lads the silicon valley "crash" is happening now
won't be anything dramatic but still things will change a bit
the gf
I always search Good in Bad...
I also search Bad in Good.....
So..ooooooooo......
I am a Very Good Bad Boy....
I am a Very Good Bad Boy....
I am a Very Good... Bad... Boyy....
I am a Day Dreamer...
I am a Night Worker...
I am a Risk Taker...
I am a Self Blamer...
I am a Brain Eater...
I am a Heart Stealer...
I am a Mind Reader...
I am a Truth Finder...
I am a Smart Cheater...
I am a Pain Killer...
I am a Good Teacher...
I am a Perfect Learner...
I am a Back Bencher...
I am a New Sencer...
I am a Kids Lover...
I am a Soul Builder...
I am very Anger...
I know it's very Danger...
I am My Life driver...
I am a routine changer...
I am a Rules Breaker...
I start a New Chapter...
Can't wait to go home after work finishes at 6 and watch some Rick and Morty lads
Latest episode of Rick and Morty
>Hey Rick
>What Morty
>Ninja cake amazeballs awesome sauce
>hahhahahahhahahagahhahahhahahahhahahhaahhaahahaaahhaahha
>BUUUUUUURP
>LETS GET
>SCHWIFTY
>SHIT ON THE FLOOR
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1Nx3SU2izA
the russkies have some good tunes 2bh
how is /tightsgf2017/ progressing?
>>74069411
Fuck off Reddit.
rick and morty is great. you just have to turn your brain off and go with it.
>>74069492
Fuck off redditor you little mong
>>74069415
substantiate your claim
>>74069492
>>74069492
>>74069411
omg a reddior1!!!!1
go start a thread and make 40 posts about how you don't care for reddit you shithouse rat
>>74069495
>turn your brain off
you don't get it.
Need a gf with nice supple boobs
>nobody challenged him to do the ice bucket challenge back in 2014
howling
>>74069581
Need a f
>>74069581
Redditor
>>74069625
hey c:
>>74069606
he didn't do a neknominate
nek yourself
>>74069589
you've only gone and ruined my no-wanking plans
wish I was mentally ill
>>74069625
*pays respects*
>>74069613
>>74069638
I do use reddit sometimes, but i've been on 4chan since before I knew what reddit was
>>74069581
sup reddit
>>74069645
i did though
shotgunned 3 beers then downed a smirnoff ice while having ping pong balls whipped at my stomach, which had a target drawn on it
>>74069645
there was meant to be a meme arrow there, ruined the whole post iih
Hi cheshire
>vote for me to get rid of democracy, it is shite anyway desu
I remember when I used to put my hands down the ex gfs bra but could never specifically feel her nipples and she never exposed them fully to me
The curiosity still kills me whether she has some condition which meant no nipples
>>74069556
multiple smaller and medium sized startups are shutting down and selling off
several high profile failures
it's not going to be dramatic and visible but there'll be a fair bit less capital deployed in this area going forward
>>74069687
>shotgunned 3 beers then downed a smirnoff ice while having ping pong balls whipped at my stomach, which had a target drawn on it
weak effort
I drank a pint of Carlsberg with mixed with jager, port, English mustard and brown sauce
whoops
just downed a can of piss lads
any of you lads any good at anything?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_serial_killers_by_number_of_victims
>>74069756
art
Wish I were a respected and liked trip
>>74069756
history
golf
>>74069744
weak
drank a mix of vodka and jam out my own arsehole
Send /brit/ to /trash/.
>>74069744
willing to bet 90% of british males don't even know what shotgunning is or how difficult it is to shotgun beers consecutively
>>74069756
Mental arithmetic.
That's pretty much it though, I'm a spastic in nearly every other way imaginable
>>74069756
posting
>>74069723
supposition:
https://rbt.asia/g/search/text/laundering/
>>74069756
wanking
>>74069769
don't give up
turn on bbc
queen had been rushed to the hospital
>>74069756
Not really, no
>>74069769
no such thing
>>74069783
embarrassing
I dropped a kettle full of jagermeister into a bathtub full of tesco kx energy drink and drank the lot
>>74069756
maths
programming
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXSWwsrSZ9o
the first verse in this is absolutely excellent, possibly the GOAT rap verse in my opinion
>>74069797
I know what shotgunning is, only ever done it in a game of danger can though
>>74069770
how can someone be good at history rofl
>>74069770
based golf runt
>>74069797
FOY
>>74069759
>Child-murderer and rapist, known as "The Monster of the Andes". Targeted young girls, between the ages of 8 and 12. Arrested in 1980 and convicted in 1983 of killing 3 young girls but confessed to killing 300, exact total unknown. Despite being one of the most prolific serial killers of the 20th century, he was released in 1998. Current whereabouts unknown.[4]
fuck me
>>74069840
pathetic
i filled an olympic swimming pool with shit, vodka and wkd and then drank it up my willy hole with a straw and lots of kegel work
>>74069880
>Current whereabouts unknown
WTF
LOVE shuffling in the door after a shift, grabbing a craft brew, and catching up with the old 'ck and 'rty
Once drank a pint of pure alcohol and didn't even flinch
>>74069849
Not even the best verse performed by Andre on that album.
>>74069849
quite sad I never got to see Outkast live. ridiculously talented duo
NEED a mentally ill gf
>>74069849
wrong
https://youtu.be/_lb0HImG_MU
1:35 onwards is the GOAT rap verse
asian lad tried drinking an entire bottle of soy sauce for his neknom and nearly died from sodium overdose
Hi lads :3
>>74069941
>tfw no depressed gf to cuddle and cry with
>>74069756
Wordplay
Flirting
Sprints
>>74069812
you're thinking of juicero? nah not that, it doesn't work that way
>>74069953
incredibly good shout. maybe my favourite notorious big song
possibly controversial
>>74069880
190kg
>>74069797
bet you drink beers out of those 330ml cans lol
>>74069973
hi
>>74069965
you've posted this a dozen times and i still can't work out who the heads are meant to be
>>74069982
had a "depressed" gf who I would cuddle and kiss while she cried for like an hour at a time
>>74069927
been 24 hours since I last talked to her
wonder if she's thinking the same thing as me and is just waiting for me to get in touch with her
>>74069931
2nd verse in aquemini is p sick, but the flow/rhythm here is so nice
>>74069969
my mate downed a pint and snorted a bunch of creatine
>>74069756
quite good at making stencils for spray paint and also being sad
>>74069965
shadilay my dude!
>>74070025
Kek
>>74070040
Girls crying gives me a raging hard on for some reason
>>74070035
Cute kot
anyone have this pepe where his eyes are open instead?
what's the pengest jam lads? i like orange but not sure if it's the best
Cannot drink for shit good thing I'm not a normie. Literally 1 shot of spirits makes my stomach turn. About 1.5L of 7% cider and I'm blitzed
>>74070010
>it doesn't work that way
can you elaborate?
>>74070038
globalists
>>74070089
Pearl
>>74070051
stop posting you literal teenager
nobody cares
>>74070079
yeah, hiding my semi was a bit tricky
mum just tried to talk to me
>you're not happy anon
>are you ok anon
>>74070089
strawberry
lads i think i might message the ex because i'm on a massive dry spell
YOLO am i right? nothing could go wrong if she says no
>>74070051
why are you torturing yourself over this
irl karen
>>74070085
>>74070089
>tfw haven't consistently eaten jam since i was a child
had some quince jam the other day
was good
>>74070089
Raspberry
The 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s, all feel like discrete periods with their own personalities, but the last 17 years just feels like one blob of time to me.
>>74070083
you've entered the wrong thread, stranger
you looking for trouble?
>>74070133
jammy cunt
>>74070040
jealous
think i'm too pathetic even for depressed girls though
>>74070129
Finally watched one of her videos the other day and certainly wasn't impressed.
>>74070079
nice to know i'm in good company
>>74070159
yeah but how many of those time periods were you actually alive for?
>>74070159
turbo grandad
>>74070172
The gimmick is the BBC
The videos are shit, like all gimmick porn
>>74070163
Come at me bruvs
>>74070159
>to me
to you
>>74070159
you're not the only one
>>74070172
yeah, i bet you take it way better than she does
>>74070095
spending loads of money paying programmers engineers and other workers to make a functional (and actually high quality) pressing machine is a horrible way to launder money, especially given how high-profile it is
it's just typical 4chan cynicism
juicero is a dumb piece of conspicuous consumption, nothing more
>>74070085
>>74070163
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbQgXeY_zi4
reminded me of this
any cheat codes lads?
>>74067527
Cheers lad
>>74070159
Globalism
>>74070168
ehhh, think she was scared that I would leave her so she really tried not to get attached
she was right in the end haha
>>74070051
Just get another gf bro
>>74070257
Being white and British
#blessed
>>74070257
greedisgood(9999999)
>>74070219
you've got no idea of the amount of pain that is coming your way
the gf (mechanical)
>>74070257
up up down down left right left right start select
>>74069694
Hey
>An acid victim has said he was attacked on his doorstep by two unknown men who apologised for what they were about to do.
>Chris Bonney, who was attacked in February 2016, told Victoria Derbyshire the men had said: "Are you Chris? We're ever so sorry," before the attack.
what the FUCK
>>74070257
simonsays
>>74070257
R1 R2 L1 L2 L D R U L D R U
rorkes are so obsessed with cuckoldry and the BBC I find it very unnerving
I NEVER think about it but it's their initial reaction when they think about a woman
>>74070257
R1 R2 L1 R2 left down right up left down down down
why are british people so cucked
why can't we have a nice comfy social democracy like finland
>>74070310
probably pakis that were brought up in a civilised part of the UK
some britishness must have rubbed off even though their paki genetics couldn't be overcome
>>74070257
Hold down A just as the Pokeball closes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wllc5gSc-N8
>>74070340
it's funny how it entered the mainstream after a period of time where it had gotten very popular on pornhub etc
>>74070310
They were paid to do it, no reason to be rude if you're just doing your job
>>74070257
hesoyam
>>74070298
Alan
>>74070159
Consider that the time gap between 2000-2017 is the same as the time between 1983-2000.
>>74070376
why can't we have a nice comfy thread and you fuck off
>>74070257
IDDQD
IDKFA
>>74070292
You're just talk
Put your money where your mouth is
>>74070159
I'm only 23 so I can't say much about the 2000's, since I was still too young to be connected to cultural trends for most of it. But for me the 2010's have been about hipsterdom, the rise of niche crafting hobbies, a fetishization of rusticity and authenticity, "maker" spaces, and the death spiral of mainstream media. I think the 2010's will be remembered as a bunch of people in flannel gardening and brewing their own beer.
acid attacks are so fucked
the person who carries out the attack doesn't want to kill you
he just wants to horribly disfigure you and make you live in pure agony for the rest of your days
i think it's by far worse than murder
Did I hear someone say Tay?
You're on the train home when you get severely bullied by a group of grown, drunk football fans and emasculated in front of your gf. What do you do?
>>74070513
Literally my worst fear
>>74070159
watch films and other pop culture from 2000 vs now. We don't clock it as that different because we were children in 2000 (at least most of us), but it is actually pretty different.
>>74070487
Bet you think rape deserves a life sentence too
>>74070489
oh hi
>>74070513
knock their faces clean off with a brick I carry in my suitcase just in case
Fuck off.
>>74070513
Cry, but it's ok because that's my gf's fetish
>>74070537
deserves death mate
>>74070513
Tell my BFF Villalad to beat em up
>>74070513
Reminds me of when I'd try to sit next to potential friends on the bus but then having to solemnly stare straight ahead because the kids in the back are throwing pencils at me.
>>74070489
>>74070538
would very much like her to sit on my face
>>74070513
I stopped some fellow football fans from bullying a lad on a train once.
The kid looked even more upset then though.
>>74070513
>Fans were chanting 'he's got a toothbrush on his head' while putting a toothbrush on people's heads
Did you know that American children play games where they "pretend to talk like British people"?
They usually talk like Shrek or Austin Powers
>>74070538
>manfeet
>Yeah babe?
>>74070456
you're right
i aggression masks my insecurity
>>74070513
Lucky that weren't me because I'd fucking body them all
Currently playing air bass to this classic
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_586NoZSr-Y
>>74070513
Blonde curly hair on a long faced woman is perfection
>>74070612
>>74070456
despise you both
>>74070598
>Austin Powers
No child today has seen this film you geriatric.
>>74070538
evening
How do we protect the mandem?
>>74070386
This is a myth. The vast vast majority is perpetrated by white males
>>74070612
It's ok we're all insecure about something
>>74070651
Shut up nerd
>>74070657
why is she so qt
>>74070652
Ah , but do you remember when we did that as kids?
Cindy = better vocalist and cuter than Tay
Acid attacks are horrible. Shame there's no way to prevent people from getting it considering acid is sold at every hardware store
lol thanks for the cheat codes
father john misty is one of the best musicians of the 21st century
the gf
watch porn videos without wanking but just because they're fun to watch
>BREAKING: US judge blocks Trump order to cut off funding to cities that limit cooperation with immigration authorities.
Top kek drumpf fags btfo
>>74070707
ban assault acid
>>74070723
This is suspiciously gae
cindy
>>74070719
That's not how you spell Iron & Wine
>>74070757
who is this blockhead?
>tfw no blockhead gf
>>74070740
What's the point in whining and rioting over trump being president when he's just going to have every decision blocked anyway
is raping a prostitute technically theft?
>Girls crying gives me a raging hard on for some reason
>Iron & Wine
>>74070513
>h-haha, funny lads hahaa
>>74070793
Because it just sets everything in a 4 year stalling motion
>>74070696
maybe because she's a singer who plays guitar
she's thin blonde and pretty
or something
>>74070797
neber tort aboot id loik dat
upboated xD
>he doesn't rate Iron & Wine
>>74070740
doesn't the federal government cut funding to cities/states that limit co-operation with the feds all the time? Why is this one in particular blocked?
>tfw mummy May will never trample your nads with her bare feet
>>74070808
what year is this, 2007?
>>74070793
Because a single US judge can't "shut down" the President. That title was meant to get Democrats feeling more smug about themselves
>>74070870
yeh
>>74070513
>>74070582
creasing
bluenose scum deserve everything they get
>>74070845
Isn't she a brunette? Light brown hair, my hair is the same colour as her in that pic and I'm not some blonde gaylord
Don't understand runts who obsess over t swift. Tall unremarkable blonde with no arse or tits.
>>74070696
toplel where is the ass?
>>74070799
i get a hard on from mummy may and the gchq reading all my posts
blood & wine>>>>>>iron & wine
>>74070912
*kiss my teeth*
wasteman bruv
Confirmed Release Dates: Star Wars Episode IX released May 24th, 2019 and Indiana Jones 5 will be released July 10th, 2020
>>74070888
>says the guy wearing shants
It's this man's birthday. Say something nice.
the battle of blore heath was a disaster for the lancastrian forces under the command of the queen consort Margaret
>>74070973
do one nerd
>>74070888
why does he look like an indian version of jonah hill
>Confirmed Release Dates: Star Wars Episode IX released May 24th, 2019 and Indiana Jones 5 will be released July 10th, 2020
>>74070973
shut up nerd
>>74070963
You ruined the world by ending the exile on Jews.
>>74066611
who
/industrial placement/ here
life is hell
>>74071027
Good post
>>74070992
>>74071027
i'm a nerd but I'm also a hardcunt
watch yourself son
>>74070963
greatest briton to ever live
long live the commonwealth
>>74070963
the father of england 2bh
Haveing a think about this one lads
this thread ain't dead yet