/brit/

the real question is:
is it a swipey or swipper?

>>74047949
once again pakis in the minority

Do you lads get bits at the chipper?

ALLAH WHO CRAP BAR

LMAO!!!!

>>74048096
good post

>Me and the gf do this thing where we roleplay online when I'm out of town
>When we're short on ideas, we pick three random categories on porn sites and pick one to build a roleplay around
>She accidently stumbles into cuckolding one time and is intruiged by the name, says we should try it
>She's been """""""randomly""""""" falling on the cuckolding category almost every other time we roleplay now
>Asked me the other day if I think the idea of watching her get fucked by another man is hot

Literally what are my options

>>74048099
hillsborough

>>74048093
swipe down

>>74048115
move back to sweden

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this curtis mayfield guy hmm
his music really
-
tickles my fancy

>>74048115
absolute fucking state of germany

Sort of related FYI. Chippy or Chippie is also used to describe carptenters or cabinet makers, other woodwork proessionals. In the same way a brickie is a builder, sparky is an electrician.. Assuming this makes plumber a shittie? Only just realizing the potential for that joke now, wish I thought of it when I was working with tradesmen.

>>74048115
Post in your own general

>>74048115

Just
Say
No

>Germany sees rise in crime committed by asylum seekers
is the FT waking up lads?

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Thought Shkreli was going to rangeban Canadians

>Chippy or Chippie is also used to describe carptenters or cabinet makers, other woodwork proessionals

It is not.

Don't mind me, just playing with the wife's titters.

>>74048115
hahahahhaha fucking RIP

Reminder there is a Scotshit posting discreetly among us. Glad he has the sense to keep his identity hidden.

>>74048170
I've heard chippy used to describe carpenters.

>>74048170
Who said that?

>>74048170
Maybe it is in shitholes that still rely on carpenters

>>74048170
Yes it is you fucking cunt

>>74048174

It's actually pronounced tappers

Can't help myself sometimes. Sorry.

>>74048170
it fucking is, you dont even work in trades how would you know?

cant believe you nerds haven't witnessed the chipper gimmick before.

>>74048181
Aye la I mean, absolutely. root the swine out.

>>74048170
suck a dick you clueless runt

Chippy
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Look up chippy in Wiktionary, the free dictionary.

Chippy may refer to:

A shop serving the traditional British dish fish and chips
(UK) British Army slang for a soldier in a unit perceived as being generic and replaceable (see above)
(UK) Royal Air Force's affectionate nickname for the De Havilland Chipmunk trainer
A slang term for a carpenter

>>74048196
And who shapes and joins wooden structures in your area? The wood fairy?

>>74048170

The utter state of the upper class!!!!!

>>74048216
Sorry we can't all be on here 24/7 like you.

howling

business idea: give scotland independence then invade and establish a colony there providing a source of extremely cheap labour so we don't have to import pakis

could also enslave the northerners too

>>74048232
had quite the giggle at this post

So it's civil war then, is it?

arri thairad

Had the ol' chipper in the other day to hang some new doors.

Hot chip shop 2bh

>>74048196
>shit holes that still rely on carpenters

and who else exactly would you rely on to complete wood work for you?

>>74048279
hello

Reckon the queen got fingered on her birthday, lads?

>>74048074
who are these mongs?

>>74048282
chippy

chipper is what schotshits call a chip shop

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>Offering sausages is code for swingers in England

>>74048291
just chuck it n get a new one from ikea

>>74048303
the one on the left is me dunno about the other lad

>>74048312
Had your boyfriend on earlier worrying that you want to do a cuckold. You two need to talk.

As a radicalism Libertarian I don't like it, but as a scientist and mathematician I cannot deny the evidence. Monarchy is right.

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anti-rasheed force assemble

>>74048319
Ah yes, the ol' Ikea supporting oak lintle. I'm sure those come in flatpack

>>74048349
FOB

Yes... I do consider myself a renaissance man. I have a certain... quality. I do not belong in this age. I belong in years gone by, having sophisticated conversation with two whores in arms, smoking opium and debating sqrt-1 with the finest intellects of the time. I despise modern British women, they're nothing but harlots. They only like "Daves and Johns" wearing red chino pants and rhianna t-shirts. Maybe drinking a pint in "da pub". I'm trying to not get angry but I fucking am. How could Britain go from the pinnacle of fine art and science to.....this. Oh why, foul demiurge, did you see it fit to put me here in this FUCKING TORTURE. Not only am I alone in appreciating Monarchy in a group of primitives, I am also alone in appreciating......... traps, as you disrespectful barbarians call them.

This song is all that exists in mind. I am curse, I am too smart for this fucking island. And so I have nothing to do................but lament.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PgFmUaxIMDA&t=171s [Embed]

I am a Mathematical Monarchist, and this is my battle theme. Care to do battle?

business idea: go for a walk around my neighbourhood and look for any skips with wood or metal in them

http://vocaroo.com/i/s0gPUXkB1QM2

business idea: research the type of winter clothing commonly used in the early 1900's

Business idea: get a horse and cart and ride around town yelling "AG... BOE!"

>tfw to intelligent to accept responsibility for my own failures

>>74048347
>tfw no asian sidekick to help me fight the evil forces of islam

Giggs just popped up in my thoughts as an artist

Considering a move to Memphis.

http://www.strawpoll.me/12822250
http://www.strawpoll.me/12822250
http://www.strawpoll.me/12822250

business idea:
paste this in [settings] > Miscellaneous > Custom CSS [edit]


.flag-nz {
background-position:-160px -44px !important;
}

.flag-gb {
background-position:-80px -44px !important;
}

.flag-au {
background-position:-16px -33px !important;
}

.flag-de {
background-position:-144px -44px !important;
}

>going to the chipper for my white pudding supper

state of scotland and everything scottish.

>>74048437
mr whippie brexit for me thanks

Who [snooker] here?
Ronnie vs Ding
Both good lads.

>>74048368
good post

>>74048422
Good dribbling on the wing and doing corners, fast, but I wouldn't say he was an artist.

>>74048454
lol ding

>!important

ah yes very good

business idea: populist radical centrist party with libertarian elements

>>74048454
I put it up there with golf on my list of the absolute, most boring possible sports to spectate

>>74048472
>not being cross browser safe with existing rules sm?h

>>74048475
Comfy af.
Golf is a snorefest granted.

Day after day, day after day,
We stuck, nor breath nor motion;
As idle as a painted ship
Upon a painted ocean.

Water, water, every where,
And all the boards did shrink;
Water, water, every where,
Nor any drop to drink.

The very deep did rot – Oh Christ!
That ever this should be.
Yea, slimy things did crawl with legs,
Upon the slimy sea.

>>74048484
>using anything beyond html 2.0

>snooker
Oh did the man hit the ball in the hole honey?

Pooing loads the past few days. Makes me late to everything.

he can talk
he can talk!
he can talk!!
he can talk!!!

I CAN SING!!!!!

>>74048521
Don't shoot albatrosses

>>74048525
<marquee>wahey</marquee>

poo two-three times a day

flash:wave2: trimming armour for free

golf is one of the most exciting sports to watch

most people especially if you don't play golf yourself are unable to appreciate it in any way especially the absolute mastery of the game that pga players have

>>74048560
blimey, you must be a fucking monster. how bloody porky are ya lad?

>>74048589
Nah

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ah yes reddit

what's cracking lads wahey

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>golf is one of the most exciting sports to watch

>most people especially if you don't play golf yourself are unable to appreciate it in any way especially the absolute mastery of the game that pga players have

>>74048604
Haha look at that fatty

>>74048604
state of that tree

have done lots of poos lately but feel constantly constipated, takes ages to squeeze em out

what do my bowels mean by this?

>>74048612
might get pants shittingly drunk and listen to depressing country songs hbu

>>74048604
fat fucks

disgustign

>>74048604
>proposing at fucking disneyland

>>74048632
you're fat

>>74048632
you're just an unhealthy runt. if your bowels are playing at during your youth then imagine their state when you get older. hope you enjoy bowel cancer and diverticulitis

>>74048632
Too much fibre clogging you up.

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anyone here for that golflad who kept bashing people that go to the gym because it's a waste of time while listing golf as one of his superior achievements?

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>currently applying for jobs half-heartedly
>mfw I see a new email in my inbox

>>74048637
could do worse

what doy uo have for breakfast?

bowl of muesli, bannana and a croissant

with tea or coffee depending how i feel

>>74048661
pretty skelly actually

>>74048667
think I'm reasonably fit

>>74048669
perhaps, have been eating a lot lately

berate me

>>74048681
you'll be doing alot worse when i find you and heem you m8

Watching American pickers. All of the collectors are old white males. Bet they all voted trump. How disgusting.

>>74048676
Literally me

>Ignore it for a couple of days

>>74048683
muesli, coffee and a couple of small oranges

>>74048683
coff'

just had a nice saucy abella danger fap

>>74048703
>pickers
It's pickys mate.

>>74048683
had coco pops chex this morning

>>74048730
What? No it's not

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did a slippery poo but when I wiped there was nothing there

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I didn't understand a word of this

>>74048683
Pot of coffee and bowl of mixed nuts. Picked out the raisins myself.

reminder than cycling improves punching strength

>>74048730
top post

>>74048744
ah yes the fabled ghost poo

>>74048542
Good job being the only catch. Disappointed with everyone else.

sometimes just sit here giggling at my own posts
can't believe that not a single person thinks they're (You) worthy, come on lads they're quality

>>74048744
Had a shit the other day and it ended up smeared half way down my legs. Had to get in the shower.

>>74048619
did a chuckle at this

would love that hat though as i work as a caddie

>>74048745
fucking hell, just end whatever that is.

Might get braces fitted, going look like a right div at work.

>>74048745
>it's funny that you have accused my friend of telling your 'so-called' friend to die, and your best friend tells my best friend that she hopes her unborn child dies. You're a sick little git, karma is a bitch and I hope you know that. It's a shame you're not my friend on facebook or I would tag you in this post you slimy piece of shit. You don't want to let me see you, that's a promise, no matter what happens you never bring a child into it, whether it is unborn or here in this world.

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Just ate the sticker on an apple lads

why are australians so well balanced?

because they have a chip on each shoulder

about to go get some fruit from the grocy then might head down to the fish market and get some bass from the fishy

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>>74048774
fucking dire

>>74048772
I got 7 (seven) (You)s for the worst post in this thread.

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>>74048683
>>74048746
>>74048740
>>74048721
>>74048711
continental poofters

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>>74048753
Hmm. Reviving a gimmick from a couple weeks ago?

>>74048792
here's a thought: no one actually cares about you or what you look like. you're not that special.

>>74048813
baked beans go on toast and toast alone
fuck off

>>74048794
Ah. Thank you my good man. Where did you learn to speak working class scum? You seem very fluent.

>>74048813
>4 baked beans
>dry egg
>anaemic bacon
>1 sausage (cooked on one side)

not to mention the portion size is a joke

Reminder there is no better morning routine than sitting on the loo with a coffee. Absolute bliss.

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>here's a thought: no one actually cares about you or what you look like. you're not that special

>>74048683
2 (TWO) double shot (x2 shots) espressos. The first one with steamed milk and a teaspoon of honey, they second as it is, black no sweet, and tamped somewhat tightly for an oily crema. The first is to be enjoyed slowly as I was up, the second is to be drunk briskly to go about my day.

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>>74048811
hand em over

>>74048745
It's things like this that cement the idea in my head that most people are just NPC non-thinkers that autopilot their way through lives without ever actually thinking over what they believe and how they act.

Fedora me if you like, I don't give a shit and literally nobody finds it funny.

>>74048836
Don't need to spend that long on the loo.

>>74048834
literally first pic i could find without watermarks all over it, fuck off
74048823
(FOB) (Fuck Off Bruce)

mummy got me maccas for dinner and the chips are absolutely fucked
reckon i got the last batch from the very bottom of the deep fryer, theyre hard as rocks

>>74048836
>drinking pooey coffee

no thanks

>>74048813
Bacon is raw af.
I mean, it doesn't have to be dipped to a charred mess like American bacon but could do with some colour. It's back bacon though. Proper bacon. Good man.

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hate work

coffee and cigarettes is the only acceptable breakfast

when I die, scatter my ashes in /brit/

>>74048880
you also forgot to mention its missing blood pudding and fried tomato

sick of my neet son so when I picked up his maccas dinner I specifically asked picked out the runt fries

and laced them with cyanide haha

did a poo but i came out my mouth haha what am i like?

>>74048856
*fedoras (You)*

>>74048899
it's called black pudding

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>Fedora me if you like, I don't give a shit and literally nobody finds it funny.

who /peanutbuttertoasteverymorning/ here?

>>74048937
I actually approve of this. It's a privilege to be sharkhatted imo.

>>74048926
An Australian? talking S*$&? Surely not!

aha just joshing mate have a good one x

>>74048899
Can't judge what isn't there.
Fried tomato and black pud. Tattie bread or soda

>>74048898
*scatters your ashes in shit*

haha hope i didnt mishear you!!

>>74048936
Pudding of Colour

>>74048937
w2c

>>74048937
>>74048954
uuuuh okay... when did /brit/ get so epic! xD

Don't see the point of the fried tomato or the even less desirable tinned tomato on a breakfast.

>>74048937
Reported for gore oh wait it's a hat.

>>74048937
>>74048954
epic...simply epic

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>>74048967
>tattie bread

fuck off, should be fried bread
>>74048936
pic related

business idea: everyone chips in a quid until we have enough to put a screen shot of this post: >>74048989 on a billboard.

>>74048989
fried tomato goes VERY well with the sausage and bacon.

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the gf

>>74048938
stole the flatmate's frozen bread to have one of them yesterday.
it's perfect when you wake up with a very rumbley tummy but sometimes it's a bit too stodgy for first thing in the morning

>>74048997
You're just copying the other lad. H*ck off.

>>74048968
*nudges you with my elbow* OI! It's not as if I could tell the difference!!
*erupts into laughter and spills my pint on your leg a bit*
ooh sorry mate aha

>>74048674
Aye lad, said golf was a true workout and all that, right?

>>74049000
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_pudding
black pudding is a specific kind of blood sausage

>>74049004
why?

>>74049013
>tfw redpilled but already established yourself as the spokesperson for the Democrats

>>74049038
I haven't thought this far ahead

>>74049027
right. its like i calling a convertible a car. its a specific type of car...

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>>74049026
I can't remember, he might've said it was more of a true hobby or sport because it took skill rather than the s-called boofheads that go to the gym

have a bunch of golf fedora pics saved on the compute' from it

>>74048454
>snooker
Wha the fuck is "snooker?" I assume you're talking about snooky. Are you Scottish?

Dunno if I should push the novelty hatposting or just leave it desu.

>>74049046
*takes back my quid*

>wagies in MY /brit/
FUCK OFF
Runts will NOT be tolerated

>>74049075
Nice

>>74049067
>golf

FOY

it's called goffy

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>Dunno if I should push the novelty hatposting or just leave it desu.

>>74049014
each to their own

>>74049080
didnt realise it was a novelty hat gimmick

thoroughly disappointed, thought you were trying to convey the poster was a roastie

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*eyefucks you*

>>74049075
Enjoyed this post immensely.

>>74049018
I'm thin and it's one of the few foods that really fills me up so I plan on having it every morning from now on

might mix it up with tomato on vegemite occasionally

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>>74049025
hahaha yeah mate, you get it!!

you need another pint mate? absolutely love pints

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>>golf

>FOY

>it's called goffy

Would you rather be bummed or bum another bloke
Only one of these is gay, choose wisely

>>74049114
not saying it's specifically a food for fatties but i don't find it the most appetising thing in the morning but i do find it hard to feel terribly hungry when i've just woken up anyway
good ol' toast and butter does the trick usually, very little going on there to worry about

Business Idea: a fresh gimmick that is understood only by a select number of /brit/s who happened to be there at it's inception and are sworn to secrecy about it's origin

*knocks your elbow as you're writing*

Have my breakfast at work about mid morning time, never feel hungry before then.

Business ideaaaaaaaaa

>>74049147
Bum a bloke.
Putting your willy in a bum isn't gay. Having a willy in YOUR BUM is very gay.

weighing up the costs and benefits of having another wank

https://youtu.be/Wllc5gSc-N8
Hmm...Thinking on this

is trump alive? he's been a bit quiet

>>74049169
can only eat once ive been up for 1 or 2 hours

Industrial Espionage Idea: steal the secret /brit/ gimmicks and sell them to other generals

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>"so when am I going to meet your parent anon?"
>"y-you're not ashamed of me are you?"

>>74049195
cunts have been doing that for years

Imagine which unfortunate events must have led to you sitting on the edge of your bed wanking and recording as your girlfriend is being pounded by a black man

*tells mum on you*

business idea: reduce your carbon memeprint by reusing old memes

>>74049198
ny ub tge bacjgriybd (derrt shdares)

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ah yes, feminist spoken word isn't at all appropriating other cultures

currently listening to really obscure bands from the 80s and 90s with less than 500 views on youtube

>>74049149
never really hungry in the morning, just force it down. otherwise I worry that I'm not eating enough because I was proper skelly a year ago and I'm trying to bounce back from that

and I've joined a footy team so need the energy for that

might do more of the buttery toast so I'm not eating the same thing all the time

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girl in one of my whatsapp groups is talking about her poos again

>>74049238
find all that "slam" poetry shite just irritating

>>74049238
why do girls wave their hands at their faces when under emotional stress?

>>74049238
nowt worse than slam poetry

>>74049244
well if you're just forcing it down, why not cook porridge? possibly the best breakfast for the working man

>>74049238
thats that white feminism bullshit

>>74049273
because they've seen other girls do it

>>74049244
>footy
*footer

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>"I'm bored, what do you want to do now?"
>"let's go for ice cream! I'm starved"

>>74049175
Smart lad

talking about my poos again on my whatsapp app haha

>>74049266
haha 'fraid i don't believe you lad

>>74049244
what kind of footy

Gosh, it's been about six hours since I liked that girl on tinder. I'm sure she'll respond with a like of her own soon.

>>74049281
actually pb toast I don't force down, I just usually don't feel like eating it but when I get started it's easy enough

porridge I really have to psych myself into eating, and can't be fucked cooking it and usually don't do a very good job of it

>>74049327
aussie rules
I'm absolute shit though haha might need to practice a bit on my own

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ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD

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would you /brit/?

>>74049370
>gif
fuck off

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>do you like my new haircut anon?

>>74049386
no
she looks like a cunt and also a bit mental

>>74049346
I'm the same with porridge. Got a bag of oats in the cupboard from before ISIS was a thing.

Whoa! Just back from my golf workout, time to hit the showers lads I'm drained!

>>74049365
>he plays AFL
*cups hand around my mouth*
pooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFTEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRR

>>74049276
Have you seen the gasping thing in American debating? Is that what you mean?

>>74049386
Of course I'd fuck any girl who isn't morbidly obese and/or/ horrifically ugly

>>74049365
just get good at catching and kicking hahaha im assuming it's some 4th grade team full of pie loving tradies

if you dont have a british passport and didnt play rugby or cricket in secondary and have never been to the UK you should just stop posting honestly

>>74049435
she's also a loony feminist spoken word "poet"

>>74049421
I've seen that. How do they not lose every debate just by the other guy laughing and going "what was that gasping thing though?"

>>74049421
yeah i've seen that one but that's not slam poetry, that's just a shit debate

this is slam poetry. They all tend to follow the same rhythm https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6CCePrJlaU

>>74049454
>didnt play rugby or cricket in secondary
don't like sports

>>74049459
Do you think any of that matters when you're fucking someone?

>>74049473
*blocks your path*

https://archive.fo/WKElg


hmmmmmmmmmmmm

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*clears your path*

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>>74049466
>yanks

Weetbix is quite literally the best cereal in the world to eat on a long-term basis

>>74049473
fuck I'm glad that shit's behind me, over here everyone constantly asks "WHAT SPORT DO YOU PLAY" if you're an adolescent male
though now everyone wants me to drink instead which might be worse ha

>>74049417
Imagine I'll get this a lot living in sydney :(

>>74049448
fifth division heh
I've literally never played before though, and they're all much better than I would've thought. I can do a decent drop-punt but shank a lot of them. need to work on my handballs more than anything

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*Blocks your path*

>>74049519
It gets boring though

>>74049519
You're not fooling anyone Zhang.

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>>74049466
hnnnnnnnng yes this girl, would like to claim her I would

>>74049539
>I can do a decent drop-punt butt shank
I bet you can.

>>74049519
nutrigrain masterrace here

>>74049529
i know this one australian meathead rugby player. he never shuts up about rugby and scoffs at people who aren't meathead rugby players or at least meathead rugby enthusiasts. he's such an inane cunt i hate being around him so much.

first two swipes of the day and they're both matches

nice

>>74049529
I'm picking up sport now because I'm sick of drinking and feeling like shit all the time haha

>>74049519
have eaten it for breakfast for the last 15 years or so

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKzySquKqlM
Tiny
British
Salaries

>>74049492
Yeah but it means for the entire lead up to that moment she will not let her guard down and will involve you acting like a complete pillock for a few hours until she's drunk enough to let you fuck her (as long as you make sure to never let her feel threatened, physically or intellectually)

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>>74049546
I've been having it at least an average of 6 days a week for the last 10+ years

>>74049576
May as well eat fucking fruitloops, pic related

>>74049645
Feminists like that love to be abused, I bet she wouldn't cum unless I choked her.

The date is a whole other matter mate, you just said 'would you'.

MAH LOUNLINÄSS ISS KILLIN MIEH ÄNDAHA AH MAST KONFÄSS AH STILL BELIHIEHF STILL BELIHF

>>74049660
hmmmmmmmmmm guess I'm chucking out my nutrigrain then

even those little chocolate milk cartons don't have as much sugar afaik

>>74049635
fuck off basic training is only 3 months?

>>74049635
Remember when that French mercenary got caught by British soldiers and got told off with "we Brits fight for honour, you fight for money." And the Frenchman came back with "every man fights for what he doesn't have."

Cheeky cunt, I hope he got a slap.

brm brm brm brmmmmmmMMMMMMMMM click BrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM click BrrrrmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEMEMEME click BrrrrrrrrrrrMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

>>74049683
Yeah but come on, that's just playground banter to say "would you fuck her" but not talk about all the other factors involved.
The actual toil of the chase is a lot more fun when you actually enjoy their company in the first place, whether you really like them or just want a shag.

>>74049705
Week 1
>this is what an emu looks like
Week 2
>these are the areas safe from emus
Week 3
>do not engage the emus

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Love this cereal but it so fucking expensive I feel like an idiot buying it desu.

>>74049759
how much mate?

>three weeks is equal to three months

heh good work kiddo

Wonder how many samefag replies I can give to one post on /brit/ before I get called out as a samefag.

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Cara looking a bit different

>>74049722
People in the UK armed forces don't take a salary? Hmmmmmm.

>>74049769
It's like 4 quid a box. And it is not a big box.

>>74049788
oh dear that looks right shit

>>74049804
You're in for a treat next thread mate

>>74049788
cute

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>>74049683
>Feminists like that love to be abused, I bet she wouldn't cum unless I choked her.

>>74049759
The aldi equivilent is just as nice and way cheaper

>>74049788
used to work with an old bloke who had that same pair of specs

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>>74049753

>>74049792
haha yeah shit mate *opens google*

>>74049705
80 days Kapooka then specialisation courses which could go well up to a year or more depending
>>74049753
>lol dude emus

>>74049831
You're not meant to quote the postnumber you absolute newboy

>>74049790
They could probably make more money fighting for Blackwater or whatever it's called now. Probably a lot easier as well. Only evil cunts kill purely for money though.

absolutely monged out on valium but don't feel like going to bed just yet

>>74049853
i fucked it up t b h didn't even notice i'd quoted it

valium sounds like a speacial kind of helium you'd put in a balloon

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>You're not meant to quote the postnumber you absolute newboy

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>i fucked it up t b h didn't even notice i'd quoted it

Hi lads

>>74049841
Is it? Might have a look, though I don't like cheap muesli because usually it doesn't have enough nuts and there's often loads of horrible dust in there.

Doing an early new

>>74049880
>>74049880
>>74049880
>>74049880

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>Hi lads

not enjoying this badly-done-fedora-posting gimmick tbqh