/brit/

1st

tofu is fucking shit

Still eating easter eggs

Do yanks really obey the laws on alcohol? Is drinking at 18-20 taboo? Because here no one blinks an eye at 16 year olds getting pissed

>>74007003
Don't mind it desu.

My new psychiatrist is a british bloke
Need one of you to come pick him up because I will NOT be lectured by a fucking foreigner

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anime

miss when always sunny was good

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controversial opinion:

sam hyde isn't funny

>>74006872
unmedicated: not coping very well but i feel sharp and aware, i would say im quite clever

medicated: i don't know just got the prescription today

>>74007023
That's not a law in the UK though, it's just illegal to sell it to anyone under 18.

You can drink wine in a pub at 5 if you're with your parents.

>>74007020
Be careful

>>74007023
I don't think people care if you're over 18, you just can't buy it or go to a bar

>>74007003
depends what kind

>>74007054
But he'd need to be British because our accent is much smarter. If he was an Australian he'd just sound like a stupid idiot

>>74007068
gf looks identical to this haha

business idea: drink liquor with your antidepressants

>>74007076
wish i had depression

Things I'm literally to intelligent for:
> following sports, particularly football
> vegetarianism
> americans
> going clubbing
> music festivals

>>74007103
FOY

it's called spirit

what will be the asbestos of our generation?

i reckon it'll be antidepressants

>>74007141
spirits aren't real

>>74007111
why's that x

>>74007146
Probably whatever the stuff is in sugar free pop.

>>74007094
80% of your accents sound as uneducated as ours

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safety first

>>74007146
some kind of food preservative imo.
>oh that's why everyone was getting cancer lol

>>74007165
feels comfy and romantic

business idea: stop masking your problems with dangerous and addictive chemicals and get psychological therapy instead.

>>74007174
aspartame

>>74007174
they've tried and failed to prove that many times over

ah yes addictive chemicals
like oxygen or water

>>74007208
i get the runs within 5 minutes of eating anything that has that in it

>>74007214
>tfw oxygen dependent

business idea: a two-state israel/palestine solution

>>74007214
oxygen and water aren't chemicals

Business idea: stop giving your money to literal nazi therapists and get audited instead

>>74007180
>there are almost certainly brit runts ITT who can't even pronounce "th"
Howl every time I think about it

Remember when everyone was certain that mobiles caused brain tumours.

>>74007243
Hmmmmmm.....

>>74007251
not i

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>>74007243

>>74007251
i bet they do and phone companies just suppress the studies

>>74007243
Bit stupid desu.

>>74007187
havent had sex in years la, not very romantic im afraid
>>74007243
interesting take

fun fact: oxygen rots our organs and is why we eventually die

>>74007251
i remember getting scared about getting ball cancer from having my phone in my pocket. i've had a mobile for ~20 years and no tumours yet so maybe its all bullshit.

>>74007251
I remember when some gutter papers published that shit but you're a mong if you believe it

when i was younger i never put a laptop on my lap because i was convinced the radiation would stunt my willy growth
years later and i have a larger than average benis
who's laughing NOW

>>74007146
GMOs and vaccines

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Funny that oxygen and water are both necessities for sustaining life AND that they are both colourless and tasteless

>>74007298
no we die because our cells eventually become unable to replicate themselves properly.

>>74007270
VERY down syndrome looking women

>>74007328

t. stay at home mummy

I want to say it's silly to think that anyone could suppress information about mobiles or fizzy pop causing cancer but then I think about diesel and I really don't know.

>>74007301
>nigga
Oh fuck off

>>74007341
good. imagine if oxygen was fucking purple. wouldn't be able to see shit.

>>74007342
It's the oxygen that makes them unable to replicate you fucking dunce

Can't tell if amphetamine enhances my performance any more or if it simply brings me up to a normal functioning baseline due to tolerance. Hmmmmm.

Oh well haha
*SNIFFFFFFFFFFFF* ahhhhhh WEEW

>>74007301
no one likes phimo

>>74007358
incorrect

big fan of phimo

joke: mobile phones cause cancer

woke: BPAs in plastic bottles and receipts mimic estrogen and are slowly neutering you

>>74007375
this is true

>>74007101
no she doesn't, shut up

would kill everyone in this thread just for a non-fat blonde gf

who the fuck is phimo

how do you even identify these cunts

business idea: cure cancer but only sell it to white people

want to forcibly retract phimos foreskin.

business idea: gmo free antidepressants

much prefer turtle to phimo

>>74007405
>>74007398
>>74007386
>>74007375
>>74007358
>>74007347
>>74007341
>>74007328
>>74007301
>>74007298
>>74007261
>>74007246
>>74007241
>>74007210
>>74007181
>>74007180
>>74007146
>>74007101
>>74007062
>>74007054

alri phimo

only use the aircon in my room because im too lazy to get up and turn the fan on
mummy is not happy when the electricity bill comes tho

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>oxygen and water aren't chemicals
what did he mean by this?

gimmick idea: canal boat

>>74007405
amendment to you business idea: make cigarettes for non-whites tax free

>>74007423
turtle has phimo though

>>74007433
>gif
fuck off

Hate how yanks say "GMO" instead of "GM"

Of course it's an organism if it's genetically modified you stupid yanks. God I fucking hate yanks so much. Could actually snap one in half with my forefinger and thumb.

girnrnick idea: anal boot

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>>74007388
Good post

>>74007448
shan't hear another word slandering turtle's penis

Got some pizza dough proving for an hour or so

Gonna head to the shop and buy done toppings. Already got mozzarella and tomato for the base

What should I get lads?

business idea: eradicate phimosis by making circumcision mandatory

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Which one are you guys most interested in so I can give you a better look? There's a lot of stuff going on inside a pipe.

bint on facebook had to take her kid to hospital because of a heart problem.

still had time to broadcast that fact on facebook and get lots of attention. why do people do this.

>>74007443
>he believes cigarettes cause cancer
SCREECHING
Pineal gland locked away tighter than the BoEs gold

>>74007471
cabbage

>>74007456
would love to see you try you fucking twerp

VERY content with my foreskin
(excepts the f dots haha)

>>74007471
Ah mozarella and tomato sauce, or as they call it in Italia, la margarita

>>74007481
inboxed xx

>>74007456
chorizo x

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>>74007352
reimagined

>>74007471
Get some tinned pineapple

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just had a HUMONGOUS squatting poo
then let rip 2 UNEARTHLY farts

about to commence a STUPENDOUS wank

>>74007471
banana slices

Pineal
having the form of a pine cone

>>74007517
Much better

>>74007517
WAILING

>>74007471
basil
put a bit of olive oil in the centre and then spread the tomato in concentric circles with it
add salt on top just A BIT if you've already 2 teaspoons for the base, if you've added one, then do as you like
wild mushrooms go great
and brie as well

i refuse to believe phimo and turtlemong are the same person

>>74007510
nice

>>74007555
we're not

>>74007375

I LIKE HIM

sippin dat 'retto thinking 'bout doin' a 'cide

>cancer is just replicating cells
>people actually die to this
utter meme illness

I am the same person.

Going to go sit on the beanbags in York uni library and whack out this lab report

If anyone here also goes to york and wants to say hello: DONT because I'll just fucking blank you and act ignorant and you'll look like a complete fucking muppet

>>74007573
phimo

>>74007555
they are

might walk round the shop and buy a 'netto

haven't had a 'num in a while though. could be an option

>we die cause our cells can't replicate
>cancer cells can't stop replicating
just solved immortality lads

just remembered i have some leftover pizza in the fridge. fucking get in

>>74007555
i am

>blaming jews
>blaming anglos
>blaming abos
>blaming the laws of the universe for allowing sentient beings to exist

>>74007611
giz a gaytime

>>74007596
going to come and take a pic of you and post it here

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>York uni

>>74007611
gissa 'ibon

>>74007628
Won't know if it's me though. Could just be any old cunt on the beanbags

>>74007626

overrated meme ice cream

>>74007626

good post

birdcucks are out

largest plastic bottom lake in europe

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>>74007649
yeah but you just said it would be you

ulster is posting under an aussie flag

>>74007543
Serious replies only please

>>74007536
>>74007527
>>74007502
Thanks lads good ideas

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>>74007651

>>74007663
youre a fucking runt mate
get out of my sight

>>74007645

pewtch

>>74007677
ye

sadrunt

>>74007684
the ant and the grapes?

it's anzac day tomorrow lads

>>74007702
YOU'VE BEEN PUNKED

its a bullshit australian day no one cares about tomorrow lads

jesus fucking christ lads i can hear something in the roof right above my bed

>>74007709
makes no difference for a neet like moi

>>74007744
hunstman spider

fucking around in some runt's roof haha

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>>74007692

some bogans died 100+ years ago tomorrow on some godforsaken beach

>>74007746

me too lol

>>74007756
sounded bigger, honestly thought it was someone walking around in the hallway for a bit

turns out it's called a V8 engine because it looks like a V, mental

Climbing about on this aussie's roof making a right old racket haha, poor cunt's probably shitting himself right now

might go make gurgling noises down his chimney in a minute

>>74007572
are you turtle or phimo x

>>74007765

we wouldn't be #2 HDI without them tbqh

>>74007744
its probably a possum

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>>74007780
really big new species of spider

Nothing quite beats the clean mouthfeel you get after a two minute brushing session using an Oral B® Professional Care electric toothbrush with Colgate Total (24 hour protection).

>>74007709
Calling a bomb blast at Gallipoli Dawn Service right now

>>74007780

possum's can get pretty big

perhaps one has taken a liking to your attic :) x

oh and you've got mozzarella balls cut them up then put a bunch of plates on them (for an hour or so, draining a few times) to get the water out otherwise your 'zzas will be soggy

>>74007792
worth the sacrifice

>>74007651
Not I

>>74007806
photoshopped

>>74007819
>apostrophes on plurals
get fucked you sickening brainlet runtoid mudsucking runtfucker cunt fuck off

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>>74007791
phimosis

>>74007816
What about a swig of overproof rum?

huntsmans are quite cute desu, they're so scared of people that they pretend to be dead. That's actually why they're considered dangerous, often they'll set up shop in your car then pretend to be dead when you get in. When they realise you're not leaving they try to escape (as you're driving) so they cause crashes

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>>74007833
STOP CAPITILIZING THE i!!!!

daily reminder turtlemong and phimomong are the same person

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>>74007854
yeh really cute

>apostrophe's on plural's

>>74007844
you're the lesser of the two

>>74007854
Had this happen to me once, came crawling straight down the windscreen from the visor thing

>>74007857
Na

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>>74007877

>>74007844
can't wait for the day that my mental health takes one final nosedive and I end up in a rented flat slathering bio oil on my testicles all day long

>>74007817

doubtful

there will be more than 2 security officials for every person attending the dawn service

>>74007842
Those are comma's you mong

>>74007877
that's not a hunstman you mong, huntsmen dont make webs

want to host an event where phimo and turtlemong fight each other

i'd call it RUNT RAGE

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gf just sent me this

>>74007877
delete this

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>>74007885

best friend is straight and im gay
he once just kissed me at his gfs house
i was super surprised

>>74007887

terrifying, what did you do?

>>74007887
delete this

>>74007908
not a web though is it.

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>>74007955

>>74007939

did u wank to the memory of him kissing you or is he fuggo?

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wish turtle was online

>>74007945
I was only in my little street so I slammed the breaks and jumped out quick as I could
Ended up pushing it out off the dash with one of those little dust collector brush things I had

>>74007967
dont know, don't want to click on the picture

>>74007982
are there any pics of him smiling?

this picture
>>74007651

>>74008014
smiling is not effay approved

>>74007978
no need
wanked to the memory of him putting my hand on his (big) cock in college
and once he went into bed with me complaining that his bed was too rough (i was too retarded to understand he was open to me sucking him off, i thought his bed was lousy and kept sleeping with him)
he sent me dick pics as well

>>74007982
he's such a mong

"Thinking" of building me own PC-ma-bob

That is, I am "thinking" of going on "PCPartPicker" and (so-called) "putting together" a PC build list.

>>74007991

how often do you actually have to be wary of Australian wildlife? that primitive technology lad walks around the forest barefoot so it can't be all that bad surely

have anyone you know died due to wildlife?

>>74008037
primitive technology is from NZ where the wildlife is less dangerous
i looked it up though and no one has died from a spider bite in oz for more than 30 years

>>74008037
Think he's in New Zealand not Aus

>>74008026

big gay that

>>74008037
Only time I worry is when I've got to visit family out west, gets very rural very quickly once you leave Sydney. Kangaroos and shit jump in front of your car

>>74008055
I could've sworn he was Australian

>>74008026
small gay that

smoked salmon has no business being that good

>>74008027

smiling doesn't get you a goth gf

>>74008055
>>74008062

He lives in Far North Queensland, Australia.

>>74008075
well you're wrong then arent you
not much more i can do

wave2:flash: test

>>74008075
He is, he's up in Queensland
Not sure what the other two runts are on about

>>74007471
>parma ham
>olives
>artichockes

had this on a pizza once and it was the best I ever had

>>74008026
>best friend is straight
starting to doubt this part

>>74008097
Yeah, that's what I thought

far north queensland would be one of the worst areas

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quoted the wrong post

>you will live to see the suicide of Western civilisation
Feels terrible lads.

>>74008089
>>74008094

hmm

>>74008135
Red as a spanked runt I bet you are

>>74007651
I have only have about 3 months left to do so

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Macron is 100% banging his wife's daughter

>>74008135
Red as soar knob I bet you are

Don't know why I thought Primitive Technology was in NZ, but I was sure of it.

Maybe I was thinking of The Angry Ram.

wish i was black
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5P0atNs8SEM

Business idea: go to sleep at a reasonable hour so I don't feel terrible tomorrow

>>74008159

Didn't he have a gay relationship with some tv producer or something?

>"Married to his high school teacher, 24 years his senior. They got going when he was 15. She left her husband + three kids for him."
this describes ONE of the french presidential candidates
guess which

>>74008157
18+ doesn't count

>>74008182

Red as a spanked runt I bet you are

>>74008195
Did he? Surely if true this would derail his campaign

>>74008191
yanks are cringy fuckers aren't they

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What is important to you?

>>74008191

he definitely rehearsed that

still, quite impressive.

>>74008225
I just made that post, why did you copy it

>>74007651 > >>74008236

>>74008236
one day I'd like to bring an end to anime nonces

>>74007651
>Having sex period
Fuck off

>>74008234

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/02/07/emmanuel-macron-laughs-gay-affair-rumours/

He literally got away of it by saying "I ain't gay haha".

>>74008236

money of course

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>>74008242

the fuk u gon do

>>74008236

having enough work to do that i can focus on that and get depressed

>>74008236
The overthrow of the ruling classes by the workers of the world

i can't understand /brit/

NEED these anime posters out of business

>>74008295
Encourage you to rethink your life, give your head a wobble.

>>74008300

not get depressed*

haha works either way though x

>>74008072
reminds me of this vid
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8teuKbQmlps

the normingtons are clonking again

buying out all anime stocks to destroy it

>>74008236
the gf and getting a 2:1

>started working same time as pretty qt girl
>job involves me walking around workplace a fair amount
>make eye contact with each accidentally once
>we both smile
>fall in love
great THANKaS

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>>74008320

>>74007651

me but i don't really care

i'm sure there will be plenty of opportunities to have sex as a grown up :^)

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>>74008236

>>74008350
no it doesnt

Decided it's time I got with the times. Just ordered a blackberry.

Business idea: commit murder, escape from prison and wreck the French monetary system

>>74008396
mate..........................................................

Do you think we'll actually get a satisfying conclusion to the Tim saga?

Or do you think one day he'll just stop posting because the NHS will section him unexpectedly.

Satisfying endings:
- Rampage
- Arrested by police for crimes against the dentist
- Get's sectioned or something happens to him, which is featured in the newspaper and we can read about it
- Continues to make videos until dies
etc

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>>74008236

Karen

just invented the iPhone, hope nobody bought a blackberry recently because this is going to shit all over it

>>74008383
I WILL cum inside Hisu!

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>>74008320

>>74008368

> having a job

font

>>74008396
alright Mr billionaire

>>74008415
no reason for him to get sectioned so that wont be happening

>>74008350
They do it on the highways and shit as well, always got to keep an eye on the side of the road for any eyes shining back because they're dumber than deer. Will easily go through a windscreen if you're going fast enough

>>74008415

Its gonna turn out to be elaborate performance art

>>74008415
He will kill a dentist, and transform into a living sweat monster

bet three quarters of /brit/ are mouth breathers

>>74008415
most satisfying ending would be a complete public meltdown following receiving pictures of kev and turtlerunt

The following message has been paid for by the multinational corporation Unilever™.
>>74007611

Thank you for your attention.

>>74008424
DELETE THIS!!!!!!!!!

off to woolworths. anyone want owt?

>>74008415
Is bio oil flammable?

babestation thanks

>>74008396
BBM: Black Boyz' Mailting

>>74008478
yeah some of that pick n mix, just apple straws though

>>74008458
>tfw used to mouthbreathe until I was about 16 and manually stopped myself
>has probably permanently made my voice and jaw fucked as a result

>>74008415
>Receives photos of suicide mong punching a wall and drawing /brit/ in blood and becomes obsessed with us
You forgot this one

>>74008458
Mate of mine spends way too long breathing in through his mouth and out through his nose. Can't understand it.

>>74008478
Coles > Woolworths

is James the most common middle name

if you got anything other than a 1st at uni you may as well not have bothered

John Clarke died lads :(

Who here /twomiddlenames/

imagine how much fun being a hot female slut would be

if you're a student you may as well fuck off

My only acquaintance at work started talking about chemtrails and the Rothschilds yesterday. Not really into conspiracy, but I have had a friend in 6 years, so I'm just sort of nodding along.

He's not /pol/. He doesn't believe Jews are evil. He just thinks the international banking cabal and the Illuminati control everything and want to reduce the human population.

>>74008563
you can get onto a masters with a 2:1

>>74008595
Reducing the population would be better for everyone

I'm going to gather some ingredients for a meal

>>74008563
nice you can remember useless facts better than others. well done.

cheeky visit to the cobbler in a minute lads

>>74008582

alri Archibald

>>74008595
hes right

>>74008647
enjoy your apprenticeship, runt

>>74008579
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=539bkrv7g2k

students OUT

>>74008662
lol a baseless and incorrect assumption ;)

>>74008677
Student @ UoL here
Am I allowed?

>>74008708
>>74008708
>>74008708
>>74008708

Am I supposed to have sex at college lol

>>74008595
>control everything and want to reduce the human population

Do people ever actually think about this sort of retarded shit?

>>74008719

Am I supposed to have friends at college lol

>>74008579
Bit late lad
Sad tho