/brit/

gym is literally a 5 minute walk away and I simply cannot be arsed to go

hmm

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Plane?

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reminder: no gf for you

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anime

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>>73872528
eye

>>73872181

Whats worrying is that he treats the money people dont give to the government as money which has somehow been lost, so if you arent paying most of your income to the government then you are somehow stealing from it because of those pesky "tax cuts"

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just off to tescos lads ahaha

think i prefer cold sausages to hot

*nationalises /brit/*

Simply can't imagine the scrawny little mind of a man who posts his gimmick after 200+ replies

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>tfw no damaged girl to dominate you and stab you with a pin while fucking you
I'd take it desu

>>73872595
alri jezza

>>73872472
yeah but so?

how stupid is adam johnson

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Vote SNP, Plaid, Sinn Fein and Mebyon Kernow

reckon I'll be the first pm to have a BTEC with Sport Science haha

>>73872616
>tfw almost told this girl to sit on my face and spit on me when i was fucking her

could have been very awkward hahahahaha

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>tfw you will never live in the gay nineties

>>73872595
*attempts a coup d'état utilising my agents in the armed forces and the deep sectarian divisions in the body politic*

>>73872653
I live in Lancashire
what are my options?

>>73872638
yeah he put way too much work in
if you're gonna shag underage be quick about it so you can feign ignorance

business idea: state funded outcall escorts

CONVICNED Adam Johnson was working in cohesion with 190kg in a nationwide niece fiddling ring

just did a pretty smelly fart

going to do a poo now

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>Why no, I shan't be voting for Mebyon Kernow in the upcoming general election.

>>73872626
relationship between the people and the government would never recover after that, I doubt ukip could've won the next election if it happened but majority government would have been impossible for any party for decades

the reason cameron championed that referendum and the scottish one was supposedly to bring people together and give a voice to the people, just backfired on him horribly haha

>>73872736
prefer this to the state-subsidised gf idea

the 15yo must have been PENG

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Fucking hell cruise is a lad

>>73872785
nonce

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>I vote DUP

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>>73872677
>gay nineties
mate all it was was a bunch of hairdresser jokes on married with children
the 00s matured somewhat
and the 10s have reversed again: see kimmy schimdt, modern family
lmao can't believe this worked

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>I don't vote DUP

>>73872758
it still would make more sense from his vantage to stay and stop breggsit and get voted out then to just leave
especially since the average person didn't bother to vote in it anyway and wouldn't feel slighted

>>73872748
*sniffs it*
phwoar

turtle do a stream

>>73872803
>won't even pick up his own bike
Lazy prick

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>I vote

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>I vote Sinn fein

>>73872867
my antenna's on the roof

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>the United Kingdom? LOVE. IT.
(featured: you on the left, Britain on the right)

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>I don't vote for the Monster Raving Loony party

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irl karen

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>I am

>>73872886
Hmmm mixed up the order there. Might take me own kneecaps as punishment

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>I participate in compulsory voting instead of just taking the $200 fine as a way of voicing my discontent for such an obtuse and medieval policy

>>73872886
thicc

>>73872914
is voting actually compulsory in australia? I thought that was just a meme

How do the rorkes here react when they're told that we are all immigrants?

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*shing*

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>>73872914
>aussies have to vote

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got a date tonight lads. nervous as fuck. not drinking either because driving

>>73872914
can't you just deface your voting slip and then you avoid the fine?

>>73872886
>this photo was taken 5 minutes from my house
Lmao

>>73872914
>$
bit cringey

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>>73872914
>compulsory voting

>>73872942
rorkes cannot comprehend beyond 100 years

>>73872942
>we are all immigrants?
not I

>>73872847
nah he staked his whole reputation on that referendum, he championed this theory of combining direct democracy with uk politics. there would've been massive butthurt from everyone, even the people that didn't vote as it showed he clearly didn't mean any of that and the government will always be self-serving, that would certainly destroy the UK more than brexit might

if he tried to stay the tories would force him out, even the remoaners among them

>>73872942
white immigrants m8

>had a dream i was wearing a fedora
What does it mean?

>>73872942
We're not all immigrants though

>look up gym to start going to in my area
>closest one is €90 a month and inlcudes massages
what the fuck is the target audience for this

>>73872914
I got a $20 fine haha

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http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-39665192

>>73872951
just bee yourself
me and the lad had 10 pints each on our first date

>>73872939
nope it's true

>>73872951
don't be a sperg

So that job I've been talking about? Yeah it's not on anymore.

Haha.

>>73873018
lol

>>73872997
Fat women
>>73872974
You're doing it wrong. You're not supposed to quote anything, just reply

>>73872994
Whether your ancestors moved here 10 thousands years ago or 10 minutes ago, you're still an immigrant and a massive hypocrite if you want to stop anyone coming here.

>>73872516
same
considering spending 300 pounds on an olympic barbell set so i can just lift here

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>>73873014
Hmmmm?

frogs toads whatever freak me out
im always scared i will step on one
nature and the universe is all about intervals though, i accept that, you'll get anything from methane living creatures to humans

>>73873036
>you can be an immigrant even when laws and borders didn't exist
Nah don't think so

>>73872914
the fine is like $20 if they even bother fining you

>>73872974
don't capitalize the i either la

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>You're doing it wrong. You're not supposed to quote anything, just reply

>>73873016
Bit gay

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>>73873068
>>73873005
fucked up my zeros

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>>73873115
>I don't believe in compulsory voting

>>73873036
woah.... i never thought of it that way.... i have a lot of things to consider.......

>>73873025
the one at the cafe?

i wish i

>>73873067
This is why borders suck. Get rid of them all, they're unnatural.

>>73873071
>capitalize
FOY

>>73873145
boring bait

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> Why yes, I do pay the government as a result of refusal to participate in compulsory voting in the hope of voicing my discontent for such an obtuse and medieval policy instead of simply declaring bankruptcy

>>73873014
how do i comment

>>73873115
can't you deface your ballot?

>>73873115
it was fucked because my address is listed as my uncle's who I don't see often

went by his place and I had at least four letters from the electoral commission saying final notice to contest, final notice to pay the fine, you have passed the deadline, etc. last one threatened legal action if I didn't pay it soon lel

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>>73873149
FUCK I'VE BEEN FOUND OUT

i just vote for who mum tells me to vote for

willy?

bum?

poo?

>>73873169
shallwon't

>>73873145
you are surrounded by sea

>>73873186
yeah thats fine, all you have to do is just have to get your name marked off at a polling place

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>>73873022

Too late

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>>73873136

No, the one that I never applied for because I'm afraid of rejection and social interaction.

lads in uni right
had this really fit lad, not only handsome but fit as well, green eyes, medium hair
and he looked at me for like a few seconds each day when we were at meals

>>73873138
were your bf?
nah, jk, one of my close friends is pavan, he's such a nice guy

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rate my ballot for last year's elections lads

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>In a video published by the Sun, the ex-Sunderland midfielder dismissed his crimes as “fuck all” and said he would have been let off with a caution if he was “Joe Public”.
>Responding to a fellow prisoner who said Johnson did not rape his victim, the former footballer said: “No, I wish I fucking did for six years.”

>>73873197
all the above

>>73873247
lmao my team won and yours didn't!

gotta work this weekend lads

thought a bunch of mozzies got into my room because I'm feeling bites all over but seems I'm just feeling things for no reason

am I dying?

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>>73873211
ah yes the uk sorrounded by sea

>>73873240
>had this really fit lad, not only handsome but fit as well, green eyes, medium hair
literally me
;) x

>>73873248
He isn't wrong though. He didn't even shag her.

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>he doesn't complicitly and willingly reply to bait posts

>>73873247
tell me about aussie parties

>>73873247

> Greens #1

Good lad, the only thing I don't like is their immigration policy.

>>73873280
'ce

>>73873265
choon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YEYxOPtQqWw

>>73873247
thought the sex party was just a melbourne thing

>>73873197
all me

>>73873276
Ireland is essentially UK lite

>>73873272
tiny spiders or midgies

>>73873321
stop replying to the baiter

>>73873271

what do you do in exchange for money?

>>73873278
oh wait i forgot to tell he was persian or half indie half white
really really attractive

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shall be voting for whatever party supports republicanism

>>73873299
if the greens were serious about the environmental stuff they'd limit immigration, massive amounts of people and conversion of agricultural land will fuck up the ecosystem more than isolated coal mines

>>73873272

potential gimmick idea:

call brits "brizzies"

Borders are SHIT. in a fully globalised united world you could go anywhere and live there. Doesn't that sound great?

>>73873350
>half indie half white
>green eyes, medium hair
What uni?
Sounds like someone I know

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>the Australian Sex Party

>>73873295
Liberals = Tories
Labor = Labour
Greens = Greens
One Nation = UKIP

>>73873358
Labour

>>73873367
no it does not

>>73873324
just feels like little itchies all over, but I'll look at the spot and can't see anything biting me

>>73873369
liverpool but this was years ago

>>73873389

haha u replied to bait xd

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lhel,llooo,o...

The dream is to move to Wollongong.

>>73873373
>Labor
FOY

>>73873299

not him but voted greens as well

surprised to see three of us in one thread

/pol/ would be LIVID

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cummed on my tummy

>>73873412
i would VAPORISE your skull, you little insect

just did a maccas run lads

20 chicken mcbites
1 small chips
1 frozen coke

>>73873429
*blows a raspberry on your tummy*

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>>73873372
think thats the party that was started by the blonde guy from House's parents
they're just a small left party

>>73873349
funeral director

If aliens visited earth, the first thing they'd ask us is why the fuck we willingly segregate ourselves into different areas of the globe for no reason and don't cooperate. The very idea of "nations" would probably be alien to them!

>>73873295
>>73873373
This except we have a seperate party for the country called the Nationals and there's a lot more overlap between Labor and the Liberals

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>>73873429
pics x

>>73873436
fatty x

>>73873442
> The party was born out of an adult-industry lobby group, the Eros Association.

>>73873419

Gave this Sheila my Wollongong last night eh haha

>>73873464
yeah well nationals work with liberals as a coalition

>>73873396
ah ok well it describes me
I'm more 35% Indian, 25% English, 12.5% Scottish and 27.5% (((Other)))

>>73873452

oh, what do you "do" though?

>>73873419
/gong/ mentioned

>>73873440
teehee now youve got my spunk all over your gob silly x
>>73873465
n-no

Why is "goat" in some jf countries a very nasty insult, but not in any Anglo countries?

>>73873367
is there only one government to overthrow in this united world? asking for a friend

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>>73873436

hot chips?

>>73873455
no, they wouldn't but they would understand why, nature is very very cruel
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjH587zG5nw
there are things that steal other living things' babies and grow them and eat them

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haha it's almost 5 months into 2017 wow

>>73873511
jfs don't have souls

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wonder who mosis voted for

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>>73873515

potato ones

>>73873498
fuck families over by leeching money off them through their grief

>>73873442
wait no i got it wrong his parents were rorkes
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australians_Against_Further_Immigration

>>73873493
best race mix ever apart from the other
although simon amstell is a bit cute

>>73873295
labor and liberal are the main ones, labor is purposely spelt without a u for obscure and irrelevant reasons but australians constantly spell it with a u which is factually wrong in this case because that isn't the name of the party, and the liberals are actually the centre-right to confuse americans, currently a coalition government between the libs and the nationals is in power

the greens are the environmentalist centre-lefts who compaign too much on social justice issues which alienates the majority of the voting base and both major parties have profited immensely from targeted propaganda to that effect, but they're still party #3, they used to be fairly rational but there's a big split between the normal party line and the insane university campus tier communists who've infiltrated it over the past 10 years or so

every other party is to varying degrees a completely irrelevant meme with either 1-2 members of parliament or none at all, we have some weird ones but one nation (apparently white supremacist nazis according to melbournites except that's wrong), the shooters fishers and farmers party (please give our guns back), and the liberal democrats (small government libertarian types, david leyonhjelm keeps making a nuisance of himself so the melbournites can't stand him either) are the most prominent

>>73873488
There's a fair amount of tension between them though, especially in WA

>>73873535
Dutton is my local member so my vote is pointless

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>>73873417
gget outwaaway here

>>73873572
dont care

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>the green party

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>best race mix ever apart from the other
>although simon amstell is a bit cute

Christ I've been shitting up a storm lately, three poos today

>>73873580
what the f*ck is there to do in that shithole?

mad how up until 1905 britain was literally allied with Germany

and up until 1925 we were allied with japan

that could have ended badly

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Brown people? I'm MY /brit/?

>>73873511
Never knew this, funny too how GOAT is a compliment

>>73873571
I don't know what the other is
It's apparently some combination of German, Dutch, Portuguese, and French so there's inevitably going to be some Ashkenazi in there

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the dream

>>73873716
not seen one around lately, lad

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>>73873737

>>73873716
yeah here mate :^)

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>>73873693
wouldn't know

>>73873737
easter?

>>73873737

Functioning Ice Addict Tradie: The Car

>>73873737
not sure why every second ute is in puke green tbqh, fucking tradies

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struggling with downshifting on the bike

>>73873580
Anthony Albanese is mine which is a right laugh because the greens are encroaching on this lefty haven

need a Felix Argyle gf/bf

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>>73873770

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Business idea: Post a letter with no stamp, put your address on the front and the receiver address on the back. Let the post return it to receiver without having to pay for postage.

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>>73873834
good lad

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what is the final solution to the british question? I say they go straight to the camps

dennis skinner is such a useless cunt. typical aggressive lefty in a perpetual state of bitterness but offers nothing in return. hurry up and die you relic cunt.

can i claim dinners with the state provided gf on tax lads?

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>>73873875

>>73873890
>that dying generation of italian octogenarians

howling

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>>73873834
biscum stop breaking my heart

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so is he /ourguy/?

>>73873890
MICKED

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>>73873913

> that growing number of lebo wogs

>>73873890
>Brit population going up very slowly
>Chinese and Indian literally almost doubling
Kek

>>73873902
NEED a state issued gf

>>73873890
only thing that worries me here are the chinks

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>dennis skinner is such a useless cunt. typical aggressive lefty in a perpetual state of bitterness but offers nothing in return. hurry up and die you relic cunt.

>>73873890
execute all kiwis

>>73873890
almost all those nationalities assimilate except the chinese

>>73873947
he lost his mind a long time ago

>>73874032
alri rajput ghandi maharajindaresh

>>73874032

my chinese next-door neighbours are quite nice and quiet

the korean next-door neighbours are VERY loud though, can't say i'm a fan

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what about that time we were house mates for a year and i heard you banging your gf on saturday nights after you got wasted
and you said you didn't want to date me but then when we were in italy you made a joke about some fit lad on the train platform how you'd do him
and now you said 'lad, stop it' on whatsapp when i said i wanted to kiss you

>>73874065
the cricket culture helps them

>>73874053
everything he does these days is for attention

must admit lads hyper-specific fedora posts and ones like ">im not gay" are some of my favourite posts of all

>>73874065
indians are fine
the chinese completely live within their own chink bubbles

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and I can't even know where Cat is anymore.

>>73874140
shan't even be responding to this post

>>73874105
you alright lad?

Why did we let Aussies and NZ leave us lads? They never would have fought for independence, they still have our flag on theirs ffs

http://www.hamhigh.co.uk/news/more-victims-of-well-built-man-aggressively-barging-into-mums-and-their-children-1-4957834

Me

Madmen think I'm in my late 30s haha!!!!

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DON'T GO BREAKING MY HEART

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gf just sent me this

>>73874148
>indians are fine
sort yourself out mate

people not getting my jokes and thinking i have autism irl is one of my biggest fears

poo

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>must admit

>>73874160
yeah thanks it was mostly a joke haha

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>>73874210
AHA THERE HE IS

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I AM A FIRESTARTER
TWISTED FIRESTARTER

wee

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gets the neurons firing

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>>73874236
>le jogging sewer clown

ah yes, hollywood does it again

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way too many aussies in this thread for my liking

>>73874200
>you will never unzip her bra, cut a hole in those leggins and just fuck right there

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>>73874207
>tfw acted autistic for the sake of a laff for so long that I actually became medically autistic

>>73874277
oi don't talk about my gf that way

eh, wot, yah?

not sure if my testicles are swollen or if they were always this size

>>73874277
>not trying to fuck her through the pants

dont understand why weed is illegal when alcohol isnt
literally get high and be okay a few hours later
somebody redpill me on this

*invents bras with zips*

>>73874309
why is any recreational drug illegal?

>>73874314
aussies on suicide watch
http://www.marksandspencer.com/extra-high-impact-zip-front-non-wired-sports-b-g-bra/p/p22112122?&pdpredirect

>>73874309
they tried banning alcohol and it didn't work

can feel a hot, spicy, thick liquid poo brewing. if the farts i'm doing at the moment are any indication it's going to fucking reek

might wait until my sister comes home with her friends and unleash it then and wank over the thought of them inhaling my gut soup

>>73874105
What

>>73874340
i dont know thats why i was asking

im a bit like sam hyde, the british version

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>>73874345
well shit

>>73874314
t. never had a gf or been in a gym

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>>73874155

our cats are the same colour :3

>>73874363
banning weed doesn't work either

What I had for breakfast:
Smoked salmon on crackers
Sausages, egg and bacon
Serrano ham
Oats with honey and sugar

I'VE SEEN THINGS, I'VE SEEN THEM WITH MY EYES

I'VE SEEN THINGS, THEY'RE OFTEN IN DISGUISE

>>73874369
i'm still salty from a bi lad whose parents met me and the mum had a bit of a crush on me but not him

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>>73874390
delete this right fucking now

>>73874406
cute

>>73874422
*scribbles on my notepad*
Hmmm yes, we'll im afraid that's all the time we have. See you next week

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>>73874422
she would she have a crush on her own son?

>>73874012
mine was finally approved and will arrive within 30 working days.

what do you feed them though?

>>73874422
how do you know he was bi

>>73874438
don't beat yourself up, lad
my gf's sports bras don't have zips, she just squeezes them on over her jubblies

>>73874309
there was a big push for america to ban drugs around the time of prohibition and after ww2, alcohol was allowed because there's whole cultures surrounding wines and beers and too many people drink it whereas back then marijuana was literally unknown

it was casually included on a list of prohibited drugs alongside lots of other stuff and america started these international drug convention things which made most countries agree to ban a lot of drugs, many included weed even though it didn't exist in a real capacity and nobody really knew about it

when it suddenly surged in popularity those laws were still around and the norm

>>73874438
go to the gym lad, maybe then you might have better chances of obtaining a gf :)

>>73874469
the son didn't have a crush on the poster you idiot

>>73874345
I see these at the beach all the time

>>73874472
I thought they were supposed to feed you?

>>73874484
tell her to stop shopping at primark

>>73874550
knowing her they're probably asos

business idea: allow the legal production and use of weed, ecstasy, lsd, cocaine and some other good things under the same conditions as alcohol

what race are the aussie state gfs? do you get a choice?

>>73874478
because he told me
after he drew hearts on my notebook and saying things like love and flirted with me for a couple of weeks

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>>73874524
ah makes sense
reading comprehension was never my strong point haha

in ireland we call Primark 'pennies'

>>73874535
my autism score wasn't high enough so I got a dud gf

>>73874572
depends on the state

just had a feed

wanted to have a beer but the house inspectors are coming over and I don't want them to think I'm an alcy

the gf got drunk last night, came home and promptly shat herself in bed.

>>73874598
why

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>>73874593
I do this sort of stuff all the time with benders who fall in love with me

>>73874598
thought I was living in bizarro world when I was down south and seen that

then found out that it's an irish shop and that's the original name haha

>>73874598
the bhoys call it pennos

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>>73874593

>>73874633
because it's cheap innit

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wish i was an attractive girl that could flirt with pathetic guys like me and make them go insane

might get out of bed today
miggt not

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the primark gf

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>>73874639
NYAAA

>>73874691
do you have poundland in Ireland or do you call it euroland or something

>miggt not
alri

>>73874728
>>73874728
>>73874728
>>73874728

>>73874721
yeah theres a chain called dealz
I think its poundland rebranded

>>73874697
they're clearly a bit whorish though so i wouldn't want to spend any time with them. seems like women a runtish 15 year old fantasies about.

>>73874535
idk?? the hotline wasnt helpful at all