/brit/

>>73670909
runt life

ah yes, communism has killed millions
tell me again about how much peace capitalism and christianity have brought the world?

>>73670933
My heart!

you are the reddit

>>73670909
YORKSHIRE

it's like game of thrones here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sB3ieNhEsDY

>>73670933
the so called gf

>>73670945
fuck off

>>73670945
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lexus_and_the_Olive_Tree#Golden_Arches_theory

>>73670933
could beat her to a pulp in a fight no prob

Gays are 60 times more likely to have HIV than straights and despite being 1% of the population, are responsible for more than 30% of all child molestation.

Gays are a disease and like all disease, they should be eradicated.

what should I get from the Chinese lads

sometimes
not often eno-ou-ou-ou-ou-ou-gh

sargon is such a sensitive twat
someone mentions him on twitter and he makes a massive sperg video on youtube to defend himself

thinner skin than trump

>>73670933
could cave her skull in with a single right elbow

>>73670732
what are the best NB shoes?

>>73670991
You know what they say about homophobes...

anyone else think they could rattle a lion?

I'd just grab it by the tail and wallop it against the wall

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shant be taking rasheed bait

Feelin a bit sad x

facebook "friend" shared a link to a feminist article that says all men are bad at apologising because spicer and the united ceo are

Hate myself
Hate my family
Hate my 'friends'
Hate my colleagues
and I HATE /brit/

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>>73670818
Tej is Ethiopia's meme in this game.

A frustrating country to play, but one thing sank into my head all those replays; the rulers of Ethiopia really love their honey-wine.

>>73671027
They hate gays?

>>73671043
what about sandwiches lad, do you hate them too

>>73670945
Capitalism has brought peace to the world thanks to trade now being cheaper and easier means of growth whilst capitalist thinking means people are now longer will to fight purely for ideology.

>>73671041
>leafs

could absolutely heem a camel

>>73670991
got a source on that 30% stat? the fact you say child molestation makes me think you're parroting yank memes

When was the last time you had egg and soldiers?

got called intolerant in the tesco petrol station

>>73670982
>>73671015
why are you saying this horrible stuff

>>73671027
ye, an' it's a complete load of psycho–babbling bullshite which has no basis of proof.

>gays are so utterly fucking repulsive and evil that merely quoting official statistics about them is considered "bait"
wew

>>73670991

Would like some source on that molestation stat

Only because i've said the same anecdotally for ages without any factual backup

>>73671038
*rubs your belly and looks deeply into your eyes*
what's wrong sweaty?

Mention my name in your tweets
oi rudeboi shut up

>>73671074
why would you wanna heem your mum

WAHEY

>>73671084
your mum made it for me after i had sex with her

it was very nice

back from the paki shop
>700ml of E&J brandy
>1.75L of vanilla coke
>20 benson silver

WHAT SHOULD I GET FROM THE FUCKING CHINESE

>>73671093
Spotted the poof

Beans on toast w/ mature cheddar for my Easter Sunday dinner

J U S T

spent too much £££ this weekend.

>>73671084

Probably 14 years ago, that my mum made

Not much of an egg man :)

>>73671111
>An artist
He got raided by the police because he incites violence in his songs. Still boasts about it though.

>>73671088
just thought in my head "wonder what would happen if her and I got into a fight?" and the answer came to me immediately: she'd be eating pavement in under a second in a no-holds fight against me

don't test me

love a cheeky bit of camel toe me
kind of cute

>>73671142
fucking chinese food desu

>>73671142
chinese curry

Jesus christ how do this libshits not realise trump is baiting them on twatter

>>73671142
rice

bit o the ol 'nxiety

went to the local shelter to adopt a dog

took the dog to the local park and let it off the lead then went home

wonder how hes doing now

>>73671126
rude

>>73671142
chinese! get it quick!!

absolutely despise drunk drivers
which means i secretly love them

>>73671084
fortnight ago

>>73671142
a gf

>>73671082
You're right. It's actually higher than 30% because of the sheer number of those gay child molestations that go unreported by the children who are ashamed to have been molested, thinking they'll be attacked for being a faggot too.

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>>73671107

Thx x

just found out im gay lads

added the latest tripcunt to my growing filter list

I'm here for my horny pissing session

>>73671142
PRAWN TOAST

not actually a fan of stormzy in any way but christ at least he's not that newfag trip

could absolutely SHAG a camel

>>73671207
probably back at the shelter

>>73671235
nigga that's not a source

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>>73671224
did a cheeky drunk drive on Friday night haha

>>73671235
>faggot
fuck off yank

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>>73671174
>>73671177
>>73671204
>>73671215
>>73671233
FFS

>>73671207

If you love them, let them go

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>>73671084
sixth time this week

>>73671129
> paki shop
> liquor
I've met Muslims who refuse to serve pork, much less stock and sell 40% spirit alcohol.

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>>73652337 >>73652364
Fökin' nooies
I found 'em
http://desuarchive.org/gif/thread/9792856/#9803083
http://desuarchive.org/gif/thread/9792856/#q9803090
http://desuarchive.org/gif/thread/9792856/#q9847427

adopted a cat and made it into stew. bretty good with rosemary

>>73671293
usually the turks who stock the alcy

don't know why but saying sweaty instead of sweetie always has me giggling like an idiot

literally did a big guffaw into my mug of tomato juice and splattered some on my cardigan

>>73671293
medal's in the post

>>73671276
get egg foo young and some sweet and sour chicken

>>73671106
Pick a country. Check its stats. It's the same everywhere you look.

>about 95% of child molestation is performed by men
>30% of victims are male

>>73671269
See above.

>>73671275
Nice deflection, nonce.

>>73671293
no one cares about your worthless anecdotes

>>73671326
Alri Borat

>>73671293
absolute state of your shithole
>>73671314
wrong

>>73671321
>Leaf stealing another bit of /brit/ banter

just like when you stole 'wind your neck in'

you don't sound brave, you don't sound hard, you certainly don't sound funny so fuck off

applied to tescos and got rejected for some paki runt

went back a few days later and plastered their toilet walls with my shit

hope they like that one

dunno why people get legit triggered by batshit feminazis and the loopy things they do/say. I honestly find them hilarious

I had a gf once
Could probably do with another

Why are Hard-fi so good lads?

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>>73671326

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>cardigan

>>73671360
right

>>73671373
dont care

Why was kev travelling back and forth to Dublin six times in one week the utter weapon?

*gnaws at the lock on the cage door and it begins to rattle*
gromph.. nom.. grrrrr grrrrrrr
*pushes at it with a dirty paw and it creaks and groans but doesn't quite break*
grrrrr... grrrr....
*the shed door opens and I burrow quickly into the rotting straw*

>>73671436
To see his dad in hospital

t. someone who asked this exact question last week

>>73671375
>British """"civilisation""""

>>73671142
Hong Kong

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funny thread

enjoyed every post

Why pamper life's complexity when the leather runs smooth on the passenger's seat?

I really love autism, it's hilarious

normies by comparison are fucking boring

>>73671409
my local are hindus but I know plenty of legit pakis who sell alcohol
don't even know of any turk shops

>>73671490
all
me

>>73671314
>>73671321
>>73671329
>>73671360
I live near a Sikh-run liquor store. I guess in Britain, you can buy liquor the same place you buy newspapers and chocolate bars, but here they're all government controlled and single-purpose. I live in Alberta, but this is the biggest Liquor control board in the country: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liquor_Control_Board_of_Ontario

Again, in the US and the UK you can buy vodka at a gas station. In Canada we have single-purpose establishments where you never see Muslims.

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>>73671436
>>73671470
feel bad for making that post now

>BIG BIRD
>for me?

Every single post itt was literally 10/10 apart from the 5/10 leaf posts
then the yank comes along with a post so awful the thread is completely beyond saving
pack it in lads

>>73671552
again, absolute state of your shithole

>>73671552
no one cares mate

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>>73670992
>can't get gud as Jewthiopia

>>73671562
iktfb

>>73671552
thanks for educating a fellow canadian on how alcohol is legally sold in our country.

>>73671595
fantastic post

Glad more people are turning against canadians

I've been running this anti canadian campaign for weeks and have had little to no support until now, they really are awful, awful posters

>>73671506
Was sitting in KFC one night and some lads sat at the table I was sat and one them goes "Ooooh enjoying your chicken TENDIES? you love chicken TENDIES?" and I looked at him like he was a mong and asked him what the fuck he was getting at and he goes "he doesn't know about 4chan and chicken tendies" but in a tone that indicated he was greentexting in real life.

Hate this place.

[weaponizes 190 kilogramms of plutonium and surgically attaches it to the insides of Big Kev]

So is Turkey a dictatorship now?

>>73671620
usually try not to acknowledge their existence

>>73671659
every muslim country is a dictatorship

>>73671631
deffo happened

>>73671620
i would actually be in support of free canzuk movement
i've wanted to discuss it here a few times but decided not to as the leafs were always acting like cunts at the time

>>73671631
Sounds fucking golden, he must've looked like a right twat talking about the internet in a public place haha

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>>73671631
christ alive
had to listen to some utter spacker try to explain to a girl at work what happened with He will not divide us

>>73671659
soon
dictatorships are so boring, wish they would bring back the monarchy

alright, where's that lad that called me a fuckboy at

>t*rks just voted to become a dictatorship
>m*rkel wanted to let them in the EU

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>Was sitting in KFC one night and some lads sat at the table I was sat and one them goes "Ooooh enjoying your chicken TENDIES? you love chicken TENDIES?" and I looked at him like he was a mong and asked him what the fuck he was getting at and he goes "he doesn't know about 4chan and chicken tendies" but in a tone that indicated he was greentexting in real life.
>Hate this place.

>>73671540
I guess there's more of a presence of the turk ones in london, always outnumber the paki and hindu ones at least around Illford

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hi /brit/ I need some advice

I'm looking to buy some mints to improve my popularity at school. I wanna be 'that guy with the mints' so people can come to me and ask for a mint at any time and I can give them one or two, Mark the mint man, they might call me.

My Question is, what mints do you think I should get? I need a flavour everyone will like, and im looking at buying a very very large amount in bulk idk like 10kg of them or something. got £500 to work with

maybe something like fox's? what kind of mints would you like knowing your reliable friend has them on him? suggest me some /brit/

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wtf i love macron now

>>73671705
*raises paw*

>>73671705
im here mate
what you gona do about it?
*pushes you*
huh? what you gona do gayboy?

>>73671705
here

In '10, 4chan released this, /int/, its most accomplished board. I think their undisputed masterpiece is "Easter", a meme so catchy, most people probably don't read the post. But they should, because it's not just about the pleasures of chocolate, and the importance of eggs, it's also a personal question about faith itself. Hey Yanks!

>>73671730
i literally used to sell mints at school.

>>73671730
mint autist loves his fucking mints

>>73671738
Wish we had a purple party in the UK

>>73671738
>implying any of them are that extreme

>>73671686
>>73671717
Really wish it hadn't tbqh. He started fighting with the girls I was sat with for no reason. Just calling them tramps and "roasties", which made no sense to anyone but him and his mate. The girl kept wondering why he was calling them roast potatoes. After a few minutes his mate just dragged him out of the place while apologising. Weird night.

>>73671730
prehistoric gimmick

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>tfw no gothic slag gf

knew this lad who used to sell costco waffles at school

out tonight lad?

>>73671807
I used to get 5 cans of pop for £1 from farmfoods and sell them for 50p each

>>73671738
I wish Political Compass would make these official charts more often

I think it's pretty accurate, wouldn't put Macron that far right economically though, and Hamon is a bit more libertarian

>>73671793
>tfw no gf of any kind

>>73671788
was this before or after you met Ryan Gosling buying Milky bars

>>73671785
LibDems used to be in 2010, they were in the Blue in 2015

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>being a jedi
>being a sith
>not being a radical grey jedi

>>73671852
stop memeing my real life

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Political compass is shit and all the questions they ask are dumb and biased

>>73671857
I thought they were orange?

>>73671874
link to that test pls leaf

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YAP YAP YAP TAP YAP YAP YAP

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*marches towards you*

>>73671889
*crushes its head beneath my shoe*

>garbage outside of /b/
FOY

Current situation:
>watching Mad Men on Netflix on the TV, starting from the top again haha
>shitposting on /brit/
>sipping beer
>eating chocolate truffles
>xanax kicking in

comfy scale: 8/10

>>73671889
*picks you up by the hind legs and fucking swings you into the distance*
fore

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>*crushes its head beneath my shoe*

>>73671738
> ¯
DELTEE TAHT, NWO

>>73671889
>tap
lmao

Google has no Easter doodles. Makes you think..Even Holloween has one.

Feel asleep watching some girl stream
Woke up and she was talking to some BLOKE over skype

Had to turn it off because I felt like a cuck

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>>73671929
*enlists reinforcements*

>>73671968
yanks dont celebrate easter

>>73671889
*drags you out into the street*
*kicks you on the way out*

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beta cuck lad you in?

>>73671968
easter is racist

>>73671929
helmet does not match the armour. very inaccurate.

I'm a globalist.

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>>73671968
some form of festive cartoon?

>>73671929
helmet matches the armour. very accurate

>>73672026
you're a globule of shit

Laptop has got stuck on the restarting screen
If I shut it down, will I corrupt everything

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>>73671889
ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF ÖLF

So lads

We all know /brit/ looks to do a poo and do a wank, but has anyone ever managed to do a poo AND a wank at the same time?

>>73671888
I think this is it
http://politicaltest.net/

>>73670909
>line
F O Y

O

Y

>>73672061
nah itll be fine

>>73671994
PLEASE stop posting my face, phimo

>>73672069
toilet seat gets in the way of efficient wanking when pooing simultaneously

>>73672070
also you can select answers to weigh more heavily if they are more important to you

bum

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>>73672091
ok mate

>>73672135
willy

want to shag a bum from brum

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>tfw can never go back to 2004-2007 4chan

>>73672163
arse

>>73672151
joking mate i dont mind
hows your easter

why so slow?

>>73672075
I was surprised when I found out Matt LeBlanc was French (just knew him as "Joey"), then about a year later I realised the South of France is basically Italy.

There's literally no difference between someone from Provence and someone from Liguria.

>>73671994
>>73672091
chubbs??
>>73672151
would love to smash your face in

>>73672204
dont care

>>73672070
it takes ages to load after answering just one question for me

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>>73670982
>>73671015

b-but you wouldn't r-right?

get a load of that guy at the end with his entire upper body just obliterated
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cA4sjDG7qo

>>73672238
fuck off already rasheed

fucking fuming, mum bought cheese and onion quiche rather than the ham one

>>73672213
>chubbs??
just looked him up and im a bit insulted ngl

>>73672245
do you mind not posting gore thanks

need a 150kg gf

>>73672247
FOY

just bought a cheese and onion quiche

>>73672253
fuck off you look just like him maybe slightly slimmer

"I think Kafka was right when he said that for a modern secular non-religious man bureaucracy, state bureaucracy is the only remaining contact with the dimension of the divine. " -Zizek

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2flpdqGfAsw

doing a listen

>using metric measurements

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>>73672247
oh fuck off
paki girls are top

what's your favourite obscure /brit/ gimmick?

i wish we could bring back cheese headaches

>>73672285
fuck off rasheed

need a 300lb gf

>>73672324

Titchmarsh at 10

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need an artist gf

>>73672342
Need a 100lb gf.

Turned into a giant bug once and my family just threw cheese at me

>not using stones and pounds

>>73672306
*sniff* my gott

>>73672358
looks like an alien from star trek

like a romulan or somethin lol

>>73672324
honestly the best gimmicks are those only posted once or twice a week

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How come French-Americans are Chefs, Actors, Writers, and Entrepreneurs, while Italian Americans are cab drivers and own tiny little pizza shops?

need a 23 stone gf

>be me
>be on Tinder
>ask a girl if she is a vegetarian
>she says no
>so i just joke that since she is a non-vegetarian, she won't be averse to the idea of eating my dick
>gets blocked!

wtf am i doing wrong, la

>>73672337
in what way am I a sheed you stupid FUCKING YANK

just want to impregnate brown qts

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alternative: thick gf

>>73672361
turn off your trip or i'll filter you too
i dont want to as you're not obnoxious so dont make me

>>73672324
rolling machine

>>73672407
being a yank, for starters

>>73672421
Utter autism.

Really want to politely kiss Kate Beckinsale

>>73672449
filtered

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> really great britain

>>73672388
that isn't true
they are also mob associates

>>73672434
*becomes australian*

>>73672396
good lad

>>73672379
I like weird looking lasses tbqh
might be because I'm a weird looking lad

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*uses my brainwaves to disrupt your missle*

>>73672425
>dave
cringing at this failed gimmick

my gf is vegetarian and she goes absolutely mental for my willy

OBJECTION YOUR HONOUR!

>>73672464
filtered

hey, sexy ; )

*flexes at you*

>>73672497
are you a girl (female)

>>73672484
better than liking basic copy-paste normies

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>>73672497
*does this pose*
alri la

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>>73672417
this 2bh

>>73672525
are you a girl (female)?

>>73672550
dire

Don't understand how anybody likes mustard

Fucking abhorrent

>>73672558
fatty boom batty

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alri

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the gf

>>73672469
>still no wales

I'm a girl (male).

>>73672580
post yourself then you fuckign CUNT

>>73672558
I'd maybe give it a go but she seems a bit much for me

>>73672562
im a boy (male)
sorry to disappoint

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Take your baby by the hair

And pull her close and there, there, there

And take your baby by the ears

And play upon her darkest fears

>>73672609
I don't have pictures of myself shirtless because I'm not an insecure runt but I do look better than that

free blowjobs anybody?

>>73672592
bbq sauce is yank tier but it's objectively the best food condiment

>>73672558
She's not thicc, she's fucking fat

nicest, comfiest /brit/ thread in months

why?
No rorke shit

>>73672664
alri CUNT

downloaded 200 xev bellringer videos today, so it's time for a BIG wank

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>>73672593
>>73672610
bent twats

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Who would you rather fuck?

>>73672592
M&S used to do a mild sandwich mustard and it was fucking delicious

strong mustards are horrible and I think are designed for pensioners who've had most of their tastebuds die off

>>73672673
don't see the appeal, it's too sweet

Dropped a crisp down my jumper, but I retrieved it.

>>73672703
t. paki cuck nigger

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-5pbGyoIgA

speedbreed

>>73672738
wow milo is a really big guy

you are thoughts on mayonnaise please, lads

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>>73672725

>>73672600
bloody nargles

>>73672703
>nicest, comfiest /brit/ thread in months
hello newtwat

fuck the janny coming straight out the underground
a young nigga got it bad cus im brown

My chocolate easter egg quote: It's alright to sit tightly if you are satisfied (small unpleasantries don't matter if you are happy enough)

>>73672703
alri rasheed
>>73672794
good title

>>73672823
newt wat?
baffling

Battlefield 1 is fucking rubbish.

>>73672703

reddit

didn't buy a single easter egg this year

>>73672885
battlefield 2 is still the best

>>73672864
*cares*

Sweet yank mustard > medium german mustard >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> inedible colman's

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>>73672558
i remember when lucy wasn't a fat mess

Listening to John Lennon's musical tirade against McCartney.

"That's enough now J-John lad" - Ringo

https://youtu.be/LNjTPZW7GCU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUNG_9UDp7w

>be multimillionaire from playing video games
>buy a regal palace

reeee i wish i was him

>>73672902
my dog got more easter eggs than i did

business idea: grow lots of trees, then cut them down and saw the logs up into planks and make a shitload of money

>>73672885
last one i liked was bad company 2

series has been wank since then

waited till today to buy myself an easter egg and got a 3 bar big mars one retail at 10 euro for 4 euro :)

i'm sticking it to the man

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*activates my almonds*

I feel fucking sick when a Leaf replies to me

is 'aggressiveness' a real word? seems redundant considering you could just use 'aggression'

sort of like how people use 'criminality' when they could just say 'crime'

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the gf

>>73672945
t. Bellend at the Varrock sawmill

>>73672943
how does a dog get an easter egg?
don't they die if they eat chocolate?

>>73672961
Here's the cure x

>>73672942
getting sick of this runt

stealing /wsg/ ylyl videos for ad shekels is jewry and disturbs the sanctity of the place

>>73672746
I ironically like the stuff you buy as a powder and have to add water too. It's strong as fuck.

>>73672948
Was that the one with the Vietnam DLC? I enjoyed that

is there any reason why you can't just drink sparkling water all day instead of still water?

feel like there must be a catch

>>73672908
BC2 is the best

>>73672942
then get a good gimmick

>>73673014
FUCK OFF YOU VILE CONTINENTAL TWAT WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT FIZZY WATER

>>73672961
>gracing the leaf with a capital letter

>>73672805
Needless chaff for overly large Americans.

>>73673014
you can

germans do it

>>73672976
plusgood post desu

>>73672976
same way yanks same burglarised instead of burgled

>>73673014
mainland euros drink a lot of fizzy water

got a euro gf and she drinks the shit all day

there doesn't seem to be a catch, other than that you can't pour yourself a glass from the tap

also carbon dioxide acidity but who cares

>>73673014
CO2 builds up in your stomach and eventually bursts and kills you

>>73673014
if it's literally just carbonated water then yes it's fine

>>73673057
post doubleplusungood ref.unpersons

(((fizzy water))) is a conspiracy to carbonate our blood so we die
do not drink!

propos.:newspeak /brit/

>>73673020
>no jets
>call of duty health
>small and linear maps
no

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I always end up accidentally copping sparkling water when I'm on the continent, vile stuff it's not even hydrating

Business idea: Sell bottled fizzy jizz to homosexuals

>>73673122
*quietly smothers you with a pillow*

>>73673099
Sodastream is literally an Israeli company.

mum does the opposite of the 'phone voice'

whenever she's with working class people she adopts a stronger regional accent and acts more working class

i though Battlefield 1 had its moments. Felt really short and brief though, you could pretty much sprint through it without much of a challenge.

Not played the MP yet

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>>73673122
Plus goodthink comrade.

>>73673144
*vapourises you*

>>73672982
nice gf tyrone

>>73673176
>soda
foy desu