>You wake up in Chicago What do you do now?

try not to get shot

I will
>get a cheap ticket for United Airlines
>double book my own seat
>refuse to leave
>get beaten up
>sue them for 300 million USD

P
R
O F I T

Get some 'go 'za

Meet up with Mr. Chi-City.

Get a wet beef sandwich.

>>73444995
Been there lots of times, would go get a deep dish pizza they're pretty good. If you're just visiting you'd have to be retarded or just very unlucky to have anything happen to you.

head to O'Hare and leave as soon as possible

Get shot lol

>>73444995
>Chicongo
>Not getting shot

TOPKEK! Guess I'm getting shot.

>>73444995
Post on /int/ like usual.
>>73445146
Same if you live in the north side.

>>73444995
Die of hipotermia.

Find a nice, white enclave and enjoy my time there

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>>73444995
>>You wake up in Chicago
daily thing faggo

>>73445146
Deep dish is great, but it's a tourist thing mainly. This is what we actually eat on the regular when we get pizza.

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>>73445660
Speak for yourself, princess.

go to some ghetto, say that i'm the medellin plug, become the gang leader, and fuck bitches everyday while i listen to drill

>>73444995
I will get shot, thanks very much, no point going to a place and not experience local culture.

>You wake up in chicago
ok so another normal day

>>73445740
t. todd tourismo

or

t. alan suburbiana

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>>73444995
stick my hand down my pants

>>73444995
get shot

>>73445788
t. Aleczz Wienermeister

go to portillo's and get a hotdog with ketchup

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>>73445660
This is true
>>73445740
Top pleb

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>>73445816
>not getting an italian combo
what even are you doing

>>73445740
>>73445824
So when are you ladies having your wedding?

>>73445146

chicago fag spotted

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>>73445816
REEEEEEEEE

>>73445841
What kind of shit bread is that? Wheres the juice?

>>73445847
>suburban lad gets found out
>resorts to this weakness

>goldenlaughingface.jpg

>>73445872
It's just a pic I found quick on google. It should be completely soaked, you are right.

>>73445068
I came to post this.

>>73445858
actual fag spotted

>>73445872
You can have it both ways

>>73444995
Drive about 38 minutes to get back home

Well I would be illegal so I would just go back

>>73445816
RIP

>>73445882
Hows that apartment in Boystown treating you, fairyboy?

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>>73445882
>be away from home
>talk to someone new and ask where they're from
>"Chicago."
>"Oh cool, me too. Which neighborhood are you from?"
>"A-actually I'm from Aurora/Joliet/Skokie/Oak Lawn/etc."
>mfw

>>73445888
Glad we could agree.

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>>73445993
Never fails

>>73445987

>>73445902
You can also put ketchup on a hotdog, but that doesnt mean its right.

try and find the Bulgarian hoods, there's supposed to be like 15k of us there

>>73446021
I bet you enjoy eating that new york crust out of your boyfriends ass crack.

people from chicago suburbs are some of the worst people i've ever met

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Go to the nearby walmart

>>73446049
I know theres a big Bulgarian church in the northwest part of town. Id try there.

wew lad he is mad

>>73446054
https://youtu.be/D0sZpEEvw0Q

>>73446057
>t. Nigbert Nigglesby King III

>>73446093
Not mad at all. Queers like you just gross me out. I bet you say "chee town" and eat your fag pizza with a fork.

Get some Chicongo pizza and then fly to Montreal or Toronto

>>73444995
that actually looks really nice

>>73446093
Based negro. Dunno why people so often claim to be from Chicago when they aren't.

>wake up in chicongo
>go outside
>get shot by roaming feral niggers

>>73446286
Why do autists like you do this samefagging shit? Nobody else cares about your stupid little argument.

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>>73446318
>no one ever disagrees with me, it's always just one autist

>>73444995
>wake up
>hmm looks like I'm in chicago
>hitchhike back to arizona

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>>73446303
Sure, you could do that if you get lost in washington park. Or you could visit this Lithuanian church that has services in Lithuanian.

>>73446318
Look man, I don't care about this stuff as much as I used to but your insecurity over this is very apparent. You are a lot more upset than you should be.

>>73446342
The funny thing is I just realized he is trying to pretend to be someone else saying that and samefagging himself.

Get a plastic on my leg so PD has GPS on me

>>73446426
Nobody fucking cares about your bitchfest. You fucked up this thread. Jackoffs like you are why Chicago has a bad image.

>>73446484
buddy, you were the one who tried to speak for people from Chicago, you were also the one to sperg out.

>>73446518
What the fuck are you talking about? Im from Boston you mongoloid. I was just backing up the other guy because nobody should have to deal with faggots like you by themselves.

Walk on down to local elementary school for an enjoyable day of cla

>>73446588
Ignore that fag. "He" isnt worth the effort tbqh.

>>73446588
haha whatever you say suburbia

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>>73444995
Go get me one of these bad boys.

>>73446411
>>73446588
>>73446644
>>73446688
If I were in Chicago, Id be getting more dubs than usual it seems.

I would stay in America, would go to find bus to the New-York and would go to the New-York and stay there. Find work, rent flat and enjoy living in USA.

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>>73447105
>not staying in ukrainian village

>>73447105
Enjoy getting raped by kikes in queens ang brooklyn, dumbass.

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>>73444995

be displeased that I was moved one county to the east

I'd probably just walk home or something

>>73447225
Chimpcago isn't even in the same league as NYC. Stay buttmad, nigger.

>>73447367
DuPage county sucks massive nigger cock.

>>73444995
get shot

>>73447391
Hows that 200 sq ft studio in staten island treating you, fuckboy?

I go to the worst part of town, that being the notorious "South-Side", and upon arrival I take due caution with regard to a certain man by the name of "Leroy Brown", the said man having rather a degree of infamy in the town (indeed, to superfluous extent), drawing comparisons to monstrous apes and vicious guard-dogs.

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>>73447430

Don't even breathe on me, loser

https://data.bls.gov/map/MapToolServlet

You chucklefucks and the rest of the state drag us down to the 2nd worst unemployment rate in the country. Meanwhile we're sitting here at 4.1%, which is about the third best county in the state.

Smell ya later, Ash.

>>73447585

>DuPage has the same texture value as the lake

holy shit we found atlantis

>>73444995
I already live in Chicago

What now

>>73444995
Get the fuck back down South where I belong, then burn my shoes for catchin' yankee soil.

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>>73447778

won't be the only thing burning comrade

join a gang and become a drill rapper

https://youtu.be/2safGftL1iU

>>73447812
t. a transgender jewish chink/nigger hybrid whos first langauge is spanish

>>73448175
wew. he must be from the long-lost tribe of omega-israel.

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I attend the Dodgers-Cubs game on Wednesday

>>73444995
buy a house on the south side

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>>73444995

>>73448974
Wow. Thats nice.

>>73444995
Eat some pizza and then go back to my igloo.

>>73444995
Take a bus trip home because I'm tired of getting beat up at the airports

>>73450631
Me too. Fuck jewnited.

>>73444995
go work for mafia

>>73444995
Call my mate. Ask him where the pub is his little bro manages. Have a good time.
Ask for a wet beef sandwich somewhere

>>73451944
>Ask for a wet beef sandwich somewhere
Is this something gay? Fuck.

>>73444995
why do americans laugh at slavshits although they work in those buildings every day and have to drive back so long until they arrive at their wooden copy paste houses?

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>>73444995
take advantage of the naive americunts

>>73444995
Go home. It'll be a long trip and I may get shot, but I'll walk my ass home.
>sea scorpion is a shrimp
The fuck is wrong with this stupid captcha?

>>73444995
Contact the authorities and make my presence known.

>>73452388
>t. terroni scum

Chicago really isn't that bad of a city. It's my favorite city in the US. Always great music, food and everyone is pretty chill. Just don't be a fucking asshole to people and you'll be just fine. I don't even mind the O'hare airport, I think it's iconic in a lot of ways.

I'm bias and never traveled for work though, so I always had 2-3 hours to just get drunk and fuck around during a layover or waiting for friends to get off work and pick me up.

get shot probably

rip me

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Hack some traffic lights

>>73444995
eat real pizza

>>73452087
Its an Italian Beef sandwich dipped in the juices from the meat. Its fucking delicious.

>>73446411
Their lithuanian is slightly different from ours. It's like they're stuck in 1920s.