>tfw the golden age of humanity is over

>>73442384
>golden age of humanity
>dying of lead poisoning

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My ancestors :)

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What do you need a gladius for, Romanfats?

If your house gets robbed, just call the lictor's guild or use your scutum to fend off the attack.

No Roman citizen actually needs a gladius. If push came to shove, what, are you and your untrained barbarian slaves going to defeat 10 legions by yourselves?

What next, should you have the right to own a ballista? No Roman citizen should need anything more than a pugio to defend himself in his home. You're just overcompensating for your short stature and plebeian birth.

>>73442563
>What do you need a gladius for, Romanfats?
To go to war. For most of history the legionaries had to buy their own equipment.

>>73442384
China was better tho, plus they still exist.

>>73442384
>average life expectancy of 45
>5% literacy rate
>Running water considered a luxury
>Rampant slavery
>No medicine

Roman life was only good for the richest members of it's society, and you my man would not be a patrician, you'd be lucky to be born a freeman desu

>>73442700
>not being a patrician and owning a harem of cute boys and girls for daily sex

Kill yourself.

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>>73442384
>you will never be part of the praetorian guard

>>73442823
>Projecting your sexual fantasies into a historical context you know nothing about

The roman upper-classes viewed anything other than sex with your wife for procreation as degeneracy, Brothels may have been legal but they were still extremely shameful, Sex with slaves was considered degenerate and discouraged

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>>73442878
>romans
>not gay for little girls(male)

>>73442823
patricians were not the only humans
equality implies true humanity

>>73442916
>Using screencaps from 4chan as a source

Please neck yourself asap you disgusting piece of shit

>>73442878
Wrong.

>No moral censure was directed at the man who enjoyed sex acts with either women or males of inferior status, as long as his behaviors revealed no weaknesses or excesses, nor infringed on the rights and prerogatives of his masculine peers. While perceived effeminacy was denounced, especially in political rhetoric, sex in moderation with male prostitutes or slaves was not regarded as improper or vitiating to masculinity, if the male citizen took the active and not the receptive role.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexuality_in_ancient_Rome

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>117 AD
>be me
>go to local amphitheatre
>bring gf
>notice there's a no singles policy for said theatre
>seemsalittleodd.mosaic
>get tickets
>go inside
>there's couples everywhere
>look at gf anxiously
>gf gives me an assuring look
>haven't felt as warm since I came back from my tour at Bedriacrum
>start to watch play
>it's comedy
>images of Long docked Satyrs stealing women
>eyes make contact with Nubian
>we look at eachother awkwardly but we laugh it off.
>feelsgoodman.papyrus
>all of a sudden hear large burp
>a Gaulish obese pick faced looking teenager comes up strutting down the aisle
>he's carrying a bowl of Crab legs, and I shit you not has a falcon on his arm.
"YOU FUCKING PEOPLE ACTUALLY ENJOY THIS SHIT?"
>disdainforplebs.mosaic
"What are you even doing here, be gone you uncultured barbarian"
>this triggers the child
>starts to go on about how the play is a form of propaganda made by the Hebrews to spread their influence to Subvert Roman culture
>Nubian pops up
>"look lad, some of us are trying to enjoy the play!"
>Nubians girlfriend, who happens to be a beautiful looking celt, tells him to sit down, there's no point in arguing with him
>Teenager unsheathes broad sword
"FUCKING BARBARIAN"
>autisticshreiking.papyrus
>charges at the couple
>some one from the audience is able to tackle him to the ground
>his falcon flies around the theatre, and shits on my toga
>proceeds to attack the actors on stage who scream in terror
>another Celt pops up, his hair is black and his teeth are horrid and he wears an odd apartus around his eyes!
"FOR CRYING OUT LAD LADS, THIS SHOULDNT BE HAPPENING, ITS 117!
>security takes screaming kid away
>child starts to rant about some frog headed Egyptian god and how we should praise him.
>go back home
>take off shit stained toga
>I take a bath with gf, who is silently sobbing
>Mfw

>>73443574

Kek

>>73443574
10/10

>>73443574
hahahahahaha holy shit this is great