ITT: I greentext Mexican history

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>be me
>help napoleon invade portugal
>napoleon betrays me and also invades spain
>creoles in the colonies see this as an opportunity to rebel since my family has been fucking with them for centuries with the caste system and the bourbon laws
>thankfully they are losing because of the royalist
>joseph bonaparte becomes the new king of spain
>he installs liberal ideas with the help of the liberal spaniards
>royalists in the colonies see him and the liberals as an enemy and turn in favor of the independence
>royalists sign the independence
>get invited to become emperor of new spain by royalists
>refuse
>rekt all the liberals in Spain and become king again
>get rid of the liberal ideas that would have help the spanish people
>now that they are independent, get invited to form a commonwealth between spain and the ex-colonies
>refuse
>refuse to recognize the independence for decades
>try to invade Mexico once more
>get rekt’d for good
>finally recognize the independence two decades later
>everyone is now poor, weak, divided, in constant civil war and with fears of being invaded by every other power of the time
>spanish empire no longer exists

>that's me
>Ferdinand VII
>the man who lost more than anyone else in history

>the end

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>apaches, comanches, etc. (nomadic tribes from the great planes, emphasis in nomadic) moved to northern mexico while hunting (they were nomadic)
>war broke out between them and mexico due to the poverty the independence war left behind
>after decades of war (against spain, against rebels, liberals vs conservatives, etc) turns out it wasn't easy to make money and also wage war against the apaches in spared populated lands
>mexico decides it needs to populate northern mexico to stop the raids from the apaches
>invite americans to do that, granting them land, etc, with several conditions
>americans had to become mexicans, they needed to convert to catholicism, stop slavery, move to the parts that were being raided, etc.
>americans didn't do any of that
>animosity escalated and the mexican government decided that immigration was banned
>americans kept immigrating illegally
>illegal americans in texas decide to rebel (along with other parts of mexico)
>mexico had to fight several fronts with an ill prepared army and a lunatic as general/president/both (depending on the year)
>with difficulties, mexico starts to win against texas
>in a stupid move, the general/president lets himself get captured
>the mexican army, the congress and the capital are left unscratched and still standing
>the general/president says that the texas declaration of independence (done mostly by americans living illegally in mexico) is valid
>the mexican congress (the ones who had a say) declares the document invalid and prepares to invade texas again

>the end xdd

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>>73395865
>america decides to annex the unrecognized texas without defeating the mexican army and the congress
>mexico declares this as an act of war
>the unrecognized texas claimed land that never belonged to texas, not even under mexican rule
>that land became “disputed” (only because texans -again, illegal immigrants who didn’t defeat the army- wanted the land, not because it ever belonged to them)
>the imperialistic american president who believed america had a god-given right to all land (manifest destiny) saw this as an opportunity
>he instigated war with mexico by sending their army in the outskirts of the “disputed” territory
>it actually didn’t work so he had to send some troops inside the “disputed” territory in order to get a reaction
>the american troops inside the “disputed” territory (part of mexico claimed by the unrecognized texas) got attacked
>americans literally used this as an excuse to invade and wage an unfair war (as noted by several american heroes; Lincoln, Ulysses Grant)

>people say mexicans started the war

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>Porfirio Díaz has been president for a long time, says he's retiring and free elections coming, everyone's hopes go up
>he's senile and after several bad choices goes back on his word, no elections
>several politicians, northern ones mostly, revolt
>they rally around Madero who had good intentions and wanted to make stuff better
>peasant movements in the south, Zapata, and the north, Villa, rise and get involved with Madero, he promises change
>Madero's forces defeat Diaz, he resigns and is exiled to France
>free elections, possibly the freest in Mexico's history, Madero wins
>Madero is reluctant on giving much to the revolutionary peasant leaders, doesn't want them to define the politics of the country
>they start rebelling and fighting Madero
>with support from the US, conservative pro-Diaz, Victoriano Huerta takes over in a coup
>Madero and his Vice President are executed outside the government palace after being forced to resign
>northern politicians, Madero's allies, rebel, lead by Venustiano Carranza
>ww1 is looming so Huerta doesn't get much support, US ambassador who helped him is imprisoned in the US
>Huerta is defeated and exiled
>US invades and takes the port of Veracruz, angering the revolutionaries
>Huerta tried to stage a coup from within the US through conspiracy with the Germans. They imprisoned him in, he died of syphilis
>Carranza is president now, the government continues fighting the peasant leaders
>Carranza's constitution was very liberal and several regimes took stuff from it, like the USSR and the Weimar Republic
>US intercepts a German telegram asking Mexico to join the central powers if US joins the war and to seek Japan as an ally
>US looks to improve its relations with Mexico and reaches a hand to Carranza, who had threatened to destroy large oil fields the US wanted
>US gives support to Carranza, with the help from Chile, Argentina and Brazil they manage to keep Mexico from declaring war

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>>73395929
>Carranza's improving relations with the US trigger Villa who is still angry with both, so he invades the US
>Carranza allows an American army to chase him down in Mexican soil
>Villa and Zapata allied at one point against Carranza, but Zapata was disillusioned with Villa and continued his guerilla war in Morelos on his own
>Zapata is betrayed, ambushed and assassinated by forces loyal to the president
>before this he had basically lead the state of Morelos on his own without any interference from Carranza, like his own country
>Carranza's term is coming up and he tries to get an unknown civilian elected as president
>this triggers his other northern politician allies who revolt, lead by Álvaro Obregón
>while running away from the city Carranza is assassinated and interim president Adolfo de la Huerta takes over until elections can happen
>Obregón wins the elections and reaches out to make peace with Villa
>the "instituionalization of the revolution" starts, the things Zapata and Villa were fighting for are included in government policy
>Villa retires and is given an Hacienda for him and his veterans
>When Obregón is about to finish his term Pancho Villa expresses interest on getting into politics and is assassinated
>Obregón finishes his term and his right hand man, Calles, is elected
>Calles stars the Cristero War, which started because he was separating church and state for good, taking away the influence of the Catholic Church, triggering the faithful
>eventually war winds out and Elías Calles's term is running out
>Obregón gets re elected but is assassinated before he can take power, some say by Cristeros others say by Calles
>next three presidents (1928-1934) are Calles puppets, time called Maximato
>this ends when Cárdenas becomes president and brings a bunch of reforms
>Cárdenas doesn’t want to be the next puppet so he exiles Elías

>everyone published a plan and they all, even if in a small way, shaped Mexico

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>>73395958
>>73395929
>>73395893
>>73395865
>>73395839
This really Conquista'd my Dor

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very interesting.

better than /his/

>>73395824
YOU ARE A COOL DUDE MEXIBRO

>>73396121
anything is

>>73396177
& Humanities was a fatal mistake tbqh

>>73395839
One of the reason the invasion of Mexico failed was because the army rebelled in Spain against him, he later called France for aid and just executed every one.

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Mexican history was a goddamn clusterfuck and it put me to sleep back in school, but now with an adult perspective I find it fascinating.

>>73396535
Same, I haven't done a greentext of both French Interventions in Mexico, but meh, maybe some other day. This is all extremely simplified and it still is a clusterfuck.

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We should have just taken the whole thing when we had the chance.

t.chicano

>>73396215
There was more than one attempt, since you controlled a Mexican port for years, and well, Cuba was right next to us; so the possibility of a Spaniard invasion was always looming.

We even tried to invade Cuba and take it for ourselves at some point, but it didn't work because we were broke after the independence war + all the infighting, so we didn't have a navy.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spanish_attempts_to_reconquer_Mexico

Mexico tries to take Cuba
https://es.wikipedia.org/wiki/Batalla_de_Mariel

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>>73396893
>tfw have to live among Anglos that hate you because your ancestors didn't fight hard enough

>>73397023
You have it a billion times better over there than in here.

>>73397187
That's good to hear at least.

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Psh...Nuthin personel kid

Missing a lot m8

>Pre-Columbian period
>The Conquest
>Colonial Period
>Mexican Independence (Ferdinand VII point of view) [check]
>Mexican Independence (Insurrectionists point of view)
>First Mexican “Empire”
>Pastry war (first French intervention)
>Mexican-American war [check]
>Liberal Reform
>Second Mexican “Empire” (Second French Intervention)
>Porfiriato
>Mexican revolution [check]
>PRI era (70 years)
>PAN transition
>Now PRI again, Trump election and AMLO's future

But nice otherwise

>>73398381
>AMLO's future
FUCK YOU

>>73399682
I didn't say I like it, but the American elections made that possible. Thanks for nothing yet again, burgers.

>>73399702
Don´t really see how that´s helping him, it´s as if panistas or priistas care about that.

PRIistas vote for the PRI because they are retards.

PANistas are middle class people that want to feel as if they were high class people.

Actual policies don´t matter for the average mexican, they always vote for bullshit reasons.

>>73399809
People are already tired of the war that both PRI, PAN and Trump want to continue. PAN came, nothing really changed, and we got more violent, so they lost their chance.
Nobody is going to vote for PRI again after the Peña Nieto fiasco, that got exposed even further thanks to Trump shitting on us and Peña Nieto being a weak cunt about it.
The only viable option (to the general population) is AMLO.

>>73399809
Después de tanto sida un cáncer no parece mala idea.

>>73395929
>not mentioning the american ambassador had a role in the assassination of Madero and his vice president

>>73399809
>PANistas are middle class people that want to feel as if they were high class people.
Being from Guanajuato that's exactly what the people are like, middle class (or even lower) who think they're well off even though their are still dirt roads all over the place

>>73395839
>now that they are independent, get invited to form a commonwealth between spain and the ex-colonies
>spain refuses
This has always been one of my favorite historical "what if's"

imo he should have agreed

>>73399952
what happened with nieto

>>73401220
>with support from the US, conservative pro-Diaz, Victoriano Huerta takes over in a coup
>ww1 is looming so Huerta doesn't get much support, US ambassador who helped him is imprisoned in the US

>>73401547
Shit i missed that

I was legit shocked when I learned that. An actual US ambassador had a large role in killing Mexico's president.

No wonder they don't teach that in schools.

>>73401500
Nieto is an absolute idiot and puppet

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>>73401704
STOP PLAYING WITH OUT COUTRY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

>>73401500
His administration has been a failure in every posible way, he has literally done nothing right.

>>73402350
hao
and what is AMLO

>>73398381
Was gonna post this. Good post anon

>>73395929
>they manage to keep Mexico from declaring war
A pity

>>73402550
AMLO (Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador) is the top ""left"" wing politician in the country, he has been trying the get the presidency since 2006, in 2018 in his third try and it looks like he has better chances than ever before since the two main competing parties (PRI and PAN) sunk in dirt too much.

>>73402700
what are his policies like
is he a commie

>>73402723
People portray him as such, but he doesn't have any clear ideology or real policies. All he ever says is this "PRI, PAN are evil and corrupt, I am literally the less corrupt person in the entire country, if you vote for me everything will be fixed magically. Also, trains are cool, we need trains". People will insist he is a Mexican Chavez, but I don't really see it, he is just a senile cunt trying to be a messiah without actually knowing what the fuck he is doing. Chavez had a clear goal and means to achieve it, AMLO does not.

There you go, that is the level of political discourse in Mexico: never discuss actual policies and call everybody else evil, just cause.

>>73402350
This